Original subtitles

(SNORING)

Go!

(BELL RINGING)

(GASPS)

Ahh!

Yes!

What's going on?

Congratulations, everyone.

We just helped Rainbow take off her boot.

That's the worst thing I've ever been congratulated on,

and I once won a prize for the longest nose hair.

It was stuck so fast, I sprained

my fingers tugging at it.

My boot, not the nose hair.

Looks like we've all been patsies

in another classic Goldie plan.

Well done, kiddo.

Another classic Goldie and Loren plan, hello.

You expected equal billing with the golden girl?

That's funny. But I did half the work.

Sure, but things don't work that way for the sidekick.

Danny, I'm not the sidekick. Come on.

You have to know you're the sidekick.

What did you think you were?

Well, you know, kind of...

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

# It's the Loren Show, it's the Loren Show #

# It's the Loren Show #

# It's the Loren Show #

# It's Loren's show #

Kind of what?

Nothing. Goldie, tell Danny I'm not the sidekick.

Of course not. We're equal partners.

Everyone knows that, right?

Yeah, equal, equal, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, equal partners.

I am the sidekick.

Great work, guys.

Loren!

Hey, Maury, you know you've got an awful stink

coming from your taxi.

Oh, no, I left my football socks in the back.

I'll have to destroy all the upholstery again.

Hey, Gram.

Shawn, how lovely of you to drop by.

Let me get you a cup of tea.

Oh, no, no, no, it's fine, Gram. I'll do it.

Besides, I've got some great news.

I've volunteered you for a sponsored knit-a-thon.

(LAUGHS)

You what, dear? Well, the tennis club

are having a fundraiser for a new ball machine,

and I said you'd raise loads of money with your knitting.

Here, she knitted me this jumper for Christmas, Terrance.

Oh, wow, incredible,

almost looks like it was bought in the shop.

I know, right? She's even sewn the laundry tags into it.

I have a very keen eye for detail.

Well, that's what I told them,

and we've got loads of sponsors already,

so here is the pattern for the official jumpers,

and we just need four by the end of the weekend

which should be no trouble for someone like you, eh, Gram?

Oh, look how happy you've made her.

Of course you're not a sidekick.

It's just like Saana all over again.

Who's Saana?

My old bestie from before you moved here.

I thought we were partners, and then she ran off

with this act that we invented.

She still runs it from her bedroom,

takes all of the credit for herself.

That's awful.

I didn't know I'm your second BFF.

Hey, I promise I won't steal any of your inventions.

We are partners.

Yeah, but you do make all of the plans.

I'm just the helper.

Like, you're Batman, and I'm some kind of bat assistant.

No way. We're Batman and Batman, and to prove it,

I promise tomorrow you get to make all the plans.

Here, it's yours, the keys to the Planmobile.

Sorry.

The power is mine!

# I've got a plan #

# I flew over the ocean to tell you how #

# Me and my fam #

# We caused a commotion #

# When we landed on my granddad #

# It's chaos at home but it's always fun #

# Fun fun fun fun #

# 'Cause you're never too old and you're never too young #

# Not around here #

# So this is me #

# Just trying to keep it all together #

Goldie, Goldie, wake up!

It's Planningy-Plany-Plan-Day

What?

That's what I'm calling today.

It's a working title until I come up with something else,

which is number eight on the plan list.

Loren, it's 6 in the morning.

I know!

I've been on my side of the crawl space since half four.

Can we get started?

This one is fun,

although it might reverse the flow of gravity,

and for this one, we need a clone of Einstein.

Maybe we should start with something small.

Yes, I've got a plan to make us really small.

I mean, let's start with a small plan,

like getting rid of the sock smell in Gramps' taxi.

Okay, I guess we can work our way up to the shrink ray.

(HUMMING)

(GASPS)

It's okay, darling. It's me.

That don't make it any better.

Were you lurking in my clothes rail for a reason?

Yes. I need you to knit a load of jumpers for me,

and I didn't want anyone to see me begging.

Esther, you don't need to beg,

because it wouldn't make any difference.

I can't knit like this.

Oh, then there's only one option.

You'll have to teach me. How complicated could it be?

It's a bit complicated.

What's complicated about pouring

all of my favorite smells into a big tank,

capturing the scent and then piping it into the taxi?

Well, nothing beats the smell of gravy,

bacon, and fish.

But how about we just use some air freshener?

A can isn't a plan, Goldie.

Wait until you smell the fragrance.

I'll call it Essence d'Loren.

(DREAMY MUSIC)

Amazing, I can't wait to see Gramps' face.

Hmm.

Final check's complete.

I hope Maury is ready for blast-off.

What do you think?

I think it's very, mm, yes.

Yay. If you think this is very mm,

yes, wait until you turn on the engine.

(ENGINE TURNING OVER)

That does not look good.

It smells worse, ugh.

Oh, no, it should not be doing that.

Actually, that's not bad.

Ugh.

Thanks, Loren.

Thanks, Loren. My plan totally worked.

Mmm.

Your plan was a complete success.

Who's a totally equal partner?

Me. So what are we doing for my next plan?

I'm doing them all day, remember?

Oh, right, yeah.

Well, obviously that would be great, but you know what?

I don't think there's anything to left to make a plan about.

Hey, girls, you haven't been in my probiotics

smoothies, have you?

They keep disappearing from the fridge.

No, but we can make a plan to catch the thief!

Goldie, to the Planmobile!

We don't have an actual Planmobile.

Oh, yeah.

What do you think? Esther, I believe everything

is perfect in its own way, except that.

I have never seen anything so hideous and woolly,

and I knit my own swimwear.

Fine, I'm just go and feed this to the piranhas then.

What piranhas? Ignore that.

I've said too much. But just be careful.

Don't put your hands in the cold water tank.

Spinach and kale smoothie, who'd steal that?

We'll soon find out

with my booby trap smoothie carton.

Anyone so much as goes near it, and...

(ALARM BLARING)

Our thief gets orange on them.

Brilliant. Just one thing,

you've already set off the booby trap.

Oh, that's no problem.

I've hidden loads of them all around the house.

There's no way our thief won't set them off.

The thief or anyone else who goes near them.

Just give me one second.

I've just got a thing.

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALARM BLARING)

Ahh!

(ALARM BLARING)

Ahh!

Gramps' room, weird place to hide it, Loren.

Wait, this is the actual missing smoothie.

Somehow it's worse than the explosive ones.

Goldie.

You're the smoothie thief!

No, no, I'm not. I'm really not.

So you're saying my plan didn't work.

Let me finish.

I'm really not going to let you stop me from drinking

my lovely stolen spinach gunk.

Delicious.

Goldie, you should have just asked.

Next time, I'll buy you your own.

No, no, you don't have to. It would be my pleasure.

Smoothie twins! Thanks, Loren.

Yes, thanks, Loren.

Careful with that.

I'm using this stuff to kill the black mold in the shower.

This is going to be a long day.

both: # For she's a jolly good fellow #

# For she's a jolly good fellow #

# For she's a jolly good fellow #

What's going on? We're congratulating Loren

on her amazing plans.

Yeah, I thought she'd be even worse than you.

Wrong! Thanks for helping me find a buyer

for my crate of Christmas puddings in July.

And that shock therapy means I will never squeeze

the toothpaste tube in the middle again.

Yes, great job, Loren, but tomorrow,

everything will go back to-- Different.

Excuse me? We've all had a talk,

and we think Loren should do the plans from now on.

Seriously? Yeah, seriously?

I did all the sidekicking.

Don't undersell yourself, Goldie.

You're my equal partner.

Thanks, Loren, but tomorrow

we go back to me making the plans.

But maybe I don't want to.

We agreed it was for today for the very, very long day.

But I'm better. Everyone says so.

Yeah, but--

Yeah, maybe you just can't take it.

Maybe I don't want an equal partner.

I'm going solo.

But, Loren, we're BFFs.

No, we're BFFNs,

best friends for never.

both: # A jolly good fellow #

# For she's a jolly good fellow #

# For she's a jolly good fellow #

Maybe you just can't it!

Going solo!

Best friends for never!

Hey, Goldie.

Loren, I dreamt we had a huge fight.

That wasn't a dream.

(THUNDER CLAPS)

Best friends for never!

Is this still a nightmare?

Is it real this time?

Seems real.

Okay, good to go.

Operation Shark connect stage one complete.

Excellent.

No, still awake.

Incredible,

live submarine footage direct from the navy.

It's like drowning in the comfort of your own home.

What's going on? Who's this? Saana, tech entrepreneur.

Saana, Loren's old bestie?

No, you're her old bestie.

Loren is working with me again now.

Oh, fighting talk, that kid has got something.

Yes, I have, your bill.

(PHONE BUZZES)

Turns out we could have been charging all this time.

Who knew?

You can't charge for plans.

You don't, but I find people pay for quality.

My plans are just as good as yours.

Big words.

Want to back them up in some sort of high-stakes contest?

Anytime, anywhere.

Can somebody please help me

knit a load of jumpers by the end of the day?

(BELL DINGING)

Do I know how to knit? I know, it was a long shot.

Why did I agree to this?

Me, knit, do I look like

the Wool-Weaving Cabbie of North London Town?

I'm guessing no?

Right because the Wool-Weaving Cabbie

was a whole load of fellows.

I was just one of the gang.

So you can knit.

In secret to keep my fingers warm

on those cold and fare-less nights,

we knitting cabbies pretended to be

one mysterious bloke to hide our identities.

Because you fought crime with wool?

No, because of toxic masculinity.

We were middle-aged men in the 1980s, Goldie.

Mind you, even we couldn't knit

a whole jumper each in just a few hours.

Hang on, getting a plan.

What if we got your old pals making different parts

like a production line?

We could stitch them together back home,

and when I say, "We," I mean you.

Kiddo, that might just work.

You take a photo of the pattern,

and I need to look up my old gang.

This will show Saana who makes the best plans.

(WHIRRING)

This will show Saana who makes the best plans.

Or maybe I'll show you.

(CACKLING)

Hey, Saana, sorry to interrupt your evil cackling.

I just wondered if you could help us with this

knitting exoskeleton we're making.

Not right now, you keep at it.

I have something to take care of.

Okay, let's run through the drop one more time.

First, you've got to swap cases with Silky Dan.

His knittings are as smooth as a mohair saxophone.

Next up, Flat Eddie and Lollipop Pete,

he'll melt into the shadows

like a panther in a bubble hat.

Step two, make the exchange.

Gramps, this trashcan.

Step three, we check the goods.

Then double-knit back to base.

Are you sure about this? I'm sure about everything.

Hit it!

It's working. Oh, great plan, girls!

Wow, Gran, you're a knitting hero!

I've just got off the phone with the club.

And they can't wait to see these jumpers.

In fact, they're so excited they've gone out,

and they've bought a brand-new huge

state-of-the-art ball machine already.

Give us a hug, Gran!

No, don't disturb her when she's knitting.

It's dangerous.

You could get wool on your face.

In fact, wait outside,

a long way outside just to be sure.

Hey, guys. What's that?

That, that's--

My cuddly bag, I take it on walks with me.

It's very comforting.

Oh, really? No, don't cuddle my bag.

Too late, we got Esther knitting.

Oh, yeah, well, we've got a bag of...

sleeves?

Why is it all sleeves?

Because I intercepted your granddad's email

and told all his friends to make the same part.

Face it, you're no match for me.

You mean us, right? Meh.

Oh, come on, Loren, forget all this plan stuff.

Leave this loser and come work for me at ClakClak.

Loren doesn't work for anyone. She--

Wait, what? ClakClak, that's the app you invented?

She said you run it from your bedroom.

Which I've had painstakingly rebuilt in the middle

of my technology campus.

Didn't she tell you I created ClakClak?

No, because we created it!

Let's not go back over all that.

I can offer you a very attractive package, Loren.

I promise you'll be my top sidekick.

I think it's time you left.

Fine, whatever.

I'm doing a TED Talk with Jeff Bezos at 4 p.m. anyway.

BFPS?

Best friends and partners forever?

It's like you're in my brain.

Is there smoke supposed to be coming off this?

Loren, Goldie!

The controller!

Make it stop!

She's going critical!

Get down!

(BOTH MUMBLING)

Woolmageddon, my coziest nightmare.

Esther!

If anyone wants me,

I'll be in the desert living as a man called Colin.

Esther, no, we can still do this.

Of course we can't. There's half an hour to go,

and all we've got is a massive shapeless woolly mess

and a vast amount of sleeves.

What kind of crazy, off-the-wall, ludicrous

thinking could possibly find a way out of this situation?

I have one or two thoughts.

I'd like to thank you all for the sponsorship

and to thank my grandson Shawn, who's too good for all of you,

but most of all, I'd like to thank two BFPFs.

Come on up, girls.

(APPLAUSE)

Before we start, I'd like to say a word about teamwork,

but it'd be even more teamwork-y

if I passed it over to my partner, Loren.

Thanks, partner Goldie.

Teams work best when everyone pulls in the same direction,

so introducing the Esther Fleming Team Bonding Sweater!

(APPLAUSE)

(LAUGHTER)

Okay, turn on the expensive new ball machine.

Return to serve

in five, four, three....

Malfunction. Malfunction.

Malfunction.

Malfunction. Malfunction.

Serve and return.

Serve and return.

Serve and return.

So we've got a load of frightened tennis players

trapped in an oversized jumper

pinned down by an out-of-control ball machine.

What's the plan?

Don't look at me. I'm just the sidekick.

Me too.

both: Run!

Malfunction.

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0