Original subtitles

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

You ready for your first episode

of "Trail of Proof," Detective Pallan?

Roger that, Detective Glickman-Park.

10-4, good buddy. Copy.

Um, edit, paste?

Uh, that's not really how TV detectives speak.

What if they're editing a document on their laptop?

Good point. Come on.

Gramps hates when I miss the start of the show.

He'll be sitting in his favorite chair

with his cup of tea, and his--

Where's my remote control?

I only ask one thing, that people respect my remote.

Never touch it, and if they do,

they put it back in its special place before I notice.

Technically, that's more than one thing.

Well, maybe not the best time to point that out.

Let me help, Gramps.

But it's just a remote, right?

(BOTH GASP) It's not just any remote.

It's my remote.

All the good times we've spent together.

Come on, United!

(GIGGLES) Oh, no, Goldie.

Don't put the banana up Grandpa's nose.

Oh! (GIGGLES)

Oh! Too late.

My little tiddler.

(MOANS, SNORES)

(WHIMPERS) Radical idea!

Why don't we just use the buttons on the TV?

Why won't they move?

And what's this sparkly stuff?

(GASPS) Is this unicorn snot?

I might've maybe squirted them with glitter glue.

(GASPS) You monster!

To be fair, she was three at the time.

My little tiddler!

Okay, here's the plan!

We need to split up and sweep the house systematically.

Like a real-life episode of "Trail of Proof."

Exactly, there is a remote out there that needs rescuing.

Gramps, you take the ground floor.

I'll take upstairs. Loren, you're on forensics.

I want every inch checked.

Let's get searching, people.

Affirmative, Detective Glickman-Park.

Roger...Federer. And out.

Uh...nope. Still not it.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING)

This is GRACI.

She's a voice controlled smart speaker.

It's gonna make our lives so much easier.

Can it chop vegetables? No.

It's not that smart then, is it?

But it can control the lights, open the windows,

and turn the heating on.

both: The heating? Yeah!

You can control it from all over the house.

GRACI, crank up the heating.

Turning off living room lights.

(LAUGHS) That went well.

GRACI, turn the living room lights back on.

GRACI? (LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS)

See? It works.

No.

That was me with my smart finger.

It doesn't seem to understand you, does it, darling?

Of course it understands me.

GRACI, you can understand me, can't you?

Starting quiz.

What is the capital city of Turkmenistan?

Just teething troubles. (FORCED LAUGHTER)

I'll have this working in no time.

("JINGLE BELLS" PLAYING)

No, GRACI, the headlines.

Play me the headlines.

Technical problems, love? No.

No, it was just, uh, the opposite actually.

I just fancied something a little bit Christmassy.

In March? Yeah.

With GRACI, it's Christmas Day every day.

No problem.

Finding fish and chip shops in your area.

Surely it's easier just to open a kitchen window

than say, "GRACI, open kitchen window."

Opening kitchen window. Wait, how did you do that?

Good luck, love. I've got a remote to find.

GRACI, what's the weather like in London?

Here is your horoscope.

Today will be a day of frustration and anger.

(GROANS)

(MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC)

Great. Now's my chance.

The coast is clear.

Now that was suspicious behavior.

What are you hiding, Esther?

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) I'm sorry, Esther!

Just testing the doors. Yours works.

Oh, hey, Loren. I've got a lead!

On the missing remote.

You're gonna want to see this.

# I've got a plan #

# I flew over the ocean to tell you how #

# Me and my fam #

# We caused a commotion #

# When we landed on my granddad #

# It's chaos at home but it's always fun #

# Fun fun fun fun #

# 'Cause you're never too old and you're never too young #

# Around here #

# So this is me #

# Just trying to keep it all together #

So I was carrying out forensic research

on some fibers I found in my belly button--

Sorry, how is your belly button fluff a clue?

Oh, it isn't.

It's nothing to do with the case.

But then it struck me, why don't we just buy a new remote?

Makes sense. Except it turns out

modern remotes just don't work on Maury's old TV.

They just don't make them like that anymore.

It's the vintage components. They're uber-doober rare.

And quite beautiful.

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)

Hello? Earth to Loren?

Big leads? Remote controls?

Anguished grandfathers. Remember?

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, so on a hunch, I checked on BeBop

to see if anyone was selling a secondhand remote

for Maury's old TV, and look what I found.

(CATS MEOW) Pirate cats?

Oh, sorry. Wrong tab.

Kitty buccaneers are a side project.

(EXCITING MUSIC)

Yes, that's the one! Perfect!

Wait, how much?

Uber-doober rare equals uber-doober expensive.

But there's more. Look who the seller is.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) Of course!

(CLEARS THROAT)

I can see you down there, you know?

(HEAD THUDS) (GRUNTS)

Oh, sorry, Terrance.

I need to find my remote control.

No, you need to find your self-control.

Cheesecake thief! It wasn't me.

There was a slice missing when I got here.

Nobody touches my ginger biscuit cheesecake

without permission...

unless they want a weed killer spritz.

Seriously, Terrance, I didn't touch it.

You can check my moustache for cream cheese if you want.

No, thanks, I've just been tangling

with unpleasant undergrowth in the garden.

Get out, or it'll be cabbage goulash for tea.

Keep your hands off my ginger nuts!

(HUFFS ANGRILY)

Look, Danny, we just want the truth.

You posted the remote on BeBop, didn't you?

I'm saying nothing.

Stop wasting our time!

Ooh! (SNIFFS)

(WHISPERS) You smell nice.

Bad cop, remember? Oh, yeah.

We caught you red-handed!

How was that? Nailing it.

(SNIFFS SUBTLY) You got nothing on me.

Apart from your BeBop username, you mean?

IAmDannyGlickman-ParkUK-USA?

Maybe it's another Danny Glickman-Park.

Who just happened to use your photo

as their profile picture?

You're going down, scumbag!

Too much? Teeny bit.

Look, all right, I was gonna sell it,

but only 'cause it would benefit the whole house.

Ooh, a plot twist!

Esther mentioned that vintage remotes are worth a fortune.

If I'd have sold it, I could've bought

that flatscreen TV that Mom's always wanted,

one that's more energy efficient to please Rainbow.

So you're telling us you're some kind

of BeBop Robin Hood now?

You know what? Maybe I am.

Well, I'm the sheriff of Beboppingham!

And you just booked yourself a place

straight in my dungeon.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) Okay, okay.

If I'd have sold it, I might have made a small profit,

but I didn't get the chance.

So where is it, Danny? Well...

(TENSE MUSIC)

I wanted to photograph the remote in the kitchen.

The light's better there.

A good photo is key to successful online sales.

But then I heard Gramps down the hallway.

He was angry. Real angry.

Where is it? Where is it?

Thinking fast, I hid the remote in a safe place.

Then I slipped out cool as a frozen cucumber

in a polar bear's icebox.

So you panicked and hid the remote

in the first place you could find?

Yeah, okay, but when I came back later, it was gone.

(SCREAMS)

Mom, are you okay?

We heard a scream.

Actually, that was Gramps.

We found the remote. Prepare yourselves.

It's not a pretty sight.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING)

(GASPS)

No one touch anything.

This is now a crime scene.

(MUMBLES) I've always wanted to do that.

Detective, we've got a remote murder on our hands.

Ballistic evidence suggests the suspect used the plant pot

as the murder weapon.

What a horrible way to go.

On the plus side,

I guess we'll have to buy a new TV now.

Ha! There's your motive.

You think I did it?

You always wanted one

of those modern tellies you hang on the wall.

Admit it.

Well, yes, that is true,

but I did just find the remote that way.

I swear.

(CLAPS SLOWLY)

(SCOFFS) Bravo.

A convincing performance,

but perhaps you'd like to explain

why you were in the garden in the first place.

I...

Well, it's very simple.

I had just been successfully instructing GRACI

to perform a variety of household functions.

(ELEGANT MUSIC)

GRACI, turn on the patio lights.

Turning on patio lights for you, Sherri.

And may I say how glamorous you look this evening?

Thank you, GRACI.

You really are making my life so much easier.

Ha!

Flushed with the joys of technological success,

I went out into the garden to take some air.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) That's when I saw it!

So now GRACI understands you?

Yeah, of course. (FORCED LAUGHTER)

She does everything I want.

Sometimes when I don't even know I want it.

I think we need to see the bigger picture here.

Really? Okay.

But I think I'm gonna need a bigger camera.

(EERIE MUSIC)

So Danny's motive was money. That's exactly his MO.

And Mom, she wants to get rid of Gramps' ancient TV.

There's nothing wrong with my telly.

Except it's not energy efficient.

Rainbow's motive.

So do we have any other suspects?

Well, as they say in "Trail of Proof,"

everyone has a motive.

And with Terrance,

it's all about revenge.

After 15 weeks of intense competition

and surprisingly few major injuries,

we can reveal that this year's winner

of "Celebrity Shark Bait" is...

(TV STATIC)

(CHEERING)

Come on, United!

You don't even support United!

What about Esther?

She doesn't have any reason to hate the TV.

Mm, I wouldn't say that.

Right, let's fire this baby up.

(TV STATIC)

(TV SHUTS DOWN)

But I just bought "Street Ninja Omega."

Who owns a TV

without an HDMI socket?

Sounds like we've got ourselves

another suspect to interrogate.

Hands off the donuts!

They're just for show.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING)

GRACI, play me the sounds of the ocean.

Now playing sounds of the ocean.

Ah, I can almost taste the salty brine.

I thought you hated GRACI. Oh, I hate everything.

Why won't she understand anything I say?

Maybe it's your annoying voice.

There's nothing wrong with my voice.

If you say so. (INHALES)

But don't say it again.

(WHALE VOCALIZES)

Let me paint you a picture,

a picture where you try to persuade Danny

to sell the remote, but when that didn't happen,

you smashed it,

all so you could play "Street Ninja" in HD.

How about one where a teenage girl

keeps obsessing over a certain housemate's grandson?

What? That's ridiculous.

Is it?

Then explain why you were lurking

outside my bedroom earlier.

Trying to get to my diary?

Find out when Shawn's coming over?

I was just looking for the remote.

I wasn't-- Hey, wait a second.

Who's interrogating who here?

Spoilsport.

I was enjoying that.

Anyway, I have an alibi.

As it happens, Shawn was over.

I was with him all afternoon.

Check the date and time on the photos

if you don't believe me.

Shawn was here? And I didn't know?

But you weren't with Shawn all afternoon.

I saw you on the landing sneaking about.

He wanted a snack.

I always move quietly when Shawn's over

so certain people don't come bothering us.

I don't know what you're talking about.

We'll be in touch.

(MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC)

But maybe you could email me some of those photos of Shawn?

Uh, for evidence. Obviously.

If we could just catch a break.

You're in luck.

I think I might be onto something.

Yum! Ginger biscuit.

The cheesecake!

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING) Yeah.

It's my cheesecake base. What about it?

You thought you'd committed the perfect crime,

but you got cookie crumbs on the remote

when you took it out of the drawer!

(SCOFFS) It's a stitch up.

Then you mercilessly murdered it with a plant pot outside.

Admit it! All right, all right.

I did take the remote control out of the drawer.

I like to keep my kitchen shipshape,

but when I reached for my trusty rolling pin

to bash up my biscuits, I didn't realize

someone had put the remote control in its place.

So you're saying it was an accident?

At first, it was. Yes.

But I didn't break it.

And it was so therapeutic.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

I knew you hated my remote.

No, I hated you having control.

I'd watched every minute of "Celebrity Shark Bait,"

and you switched it over in the final

for a football match you didn't even care about!

I never got to see who got eaten last!

So you did want revenge! No!

(STAMMERS) Yes!

But I didn't break the remote. It was still in one piece

when Rainbow came in from the garden.

Rainbow, huh?

We have witness statements

that put you at the scene of the crime.

Fresh soil on her sandals!

And it tastes like it's from your garden!

Hmm, I really should stop licking the evidence.

So proof! You were in the garden.

I never said I wasn't in the garden.

Oh, yeah.

I had been at one with nature,

cultivating my bountiful crop of organic nettles.

It was just sitting there, and I saw an opportunity

to commit another brave feat of eco-activism.

All I needed was the perfect hiding spot.

If no one could find the remote,

I'd save the planet from another night

of senselessly wasted electricity.

But I definitely didn't smash the remote.

I even repaired the plant pot.

You know I wouldn't hurt a geranium.

Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)

GRACI, turn the heating down.

Today will be mainly dry

with scattered showers later on.

No.

Okay, you understood Terrance.

(IMITATES TERRANCE) GRACI, turn the heating down.

Do you want me to delete your calendar and contacts?

No! Okay.

Now deleting Sherri's calendar and contacts.

No, I need those! GRACI, stop!

Cancelling deletion.

Oh, thank goodness. (SIGHS)

Wait, you understood me.

(YELLS SHRILLY) GRACI, turn the heating down!

Turning down heating. Yes, yes, yes!

In your electronic face, GRACI! (GRACI CHIMES)

Come on! Why is this so hard?

Which one of you guys did it?

It's always the person you least suspect.

Of course. Loren, that's it!

It was my Auntie Sue's hairdresser's husband?

Not quite.

Gather everyone in the kitchen.

I have an announcement to make.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING)

You're probably wondering

why I've gathered you all here.

Not really. I was here anyway.

Having examined the evidence from every angle,

I have deduced the identity

of the remote murderer.

(ALL GASP)

It began when Danny

photographed the remote to sell it.

Then Terrance bashed the cookies with it.

And Rainbow hid it.

But there's more to this.

Somebody in this room

isn't telling the truth.

(ECHOES) Truth, truth, truth.

(DRAMATIC JAZZ MUSIC)

I admit it.

I lied about getting GRACI to turn the patio light on.

She wouldn't do a single thing I asked her.

I had to put on a stupid voice.

Uh, no, Mom. Not that.

I lied too.

I put chemical fertilizer on my nettles.

(WHIMPERS) They're not organic at all.

Well, if we're all confessing,

I've been nobbling Rainbow's nettles

with weed killer for weeks.

(GASPS) They're nettles.

Who eats nettles?

And I wasn't sneaking around the house

because I didn't want Goldie to know that Shawn was visiting.

It was because I was off to steal him some cheesecake.

It was you!

You should have better morals!

And you should have better security.

What? (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

(CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY)

And if you're all finished confessing

to completely different crimes,

in the end, it was Loren's

Auntie Sue's hairdresser's husband who tipped me off.

Hank?

'Cause the real murderer

was the person I least suspected.

(DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING)

Loren! (ALL GASP)

(MUFFLED) Me?

That's right.

The real remote murderer was Loren!

I did it? Yes!

And I'll tell you why.

It was you who coveted the components.

You said so yourself during forensics.

You, who misdirected me by showing me the BeBop page,

thereby placing suspicion on Danny.

And you, who placed traces of cookie on the remote,

making Terrance look guilty.

Wow, I'm such a criminal genius,

I even deceived myself!

Except...I don't remember doing any of it.

Plus I was by your side pretty much the whole time.

Oh, yeah.

It's almost as if... I didn't do it at all.

So sneaky! The ultimate alibi.

Okay. Okay, maybe I made a mistake.

Phew. That's a relief.

I really wasn't enjoying being that evil.

So who was it?

Is it me, or is it hotter than medium salsa in here?

I have a very sensitive palette.

Ooh, I know. Leave it to me.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(YELLS SHRILLY) GRACI, open kitchen window!

Opening kitchen window.

See, I can do it.

That's so much easier than just opening it myself.

(POT CLINKS, SHATTERS)

Ah!

I think the culprit just revealed herself!

It was GRACI!

(ALL GASP) (HICCUPS)

I do hope that's the last gasp.

I'm getting hiccups.

At approximately 18:00 hours,

GRACI opened the window, nudging both the plant pot

and the victim off the ledge,

where they both fell to their untimely doom.

Case solved.

Congratulations, Detective Glickman-Park!

But there's just one more thing that's troubling me.

(HICCUPS)

Who gave GRACI the command to open the window?

Surely it's easier just to open a kitchen window

than say, "GRACI, open kitchen window."

Opening kitchen window.

Yup, it was definitely GRACI.

Technical glitch probably.

I told you these things are

more trouble than they're worth.

Yup! Yes.

Obviously GRACI. Case solved.

Yes, I think we can, um, all go now.

Good. (HICCUPS)

(EXCITING MUSIC)

The screen's so big,

but it takes up so much less room.

It's amazing.

And it consumes much less energy.

Plus, it came with two remotes.

And four HDMI sockets.

And it's got OLED, UHD, and HDR.

I don't know what any of that means,

but it sounds brilliant.

Imagine how crazy it'll be when it's actually switched on.

Wait, you don't need that anymore, Dad.

These new smart TVs can be controlled with GRACI.

(YELLS SHRILLY) GRACI, switch TV on!

Yeah, that's not gonna work.

Another piece of broken technology.

Who could've done this?

Looks like a new case for detective duo

Glickman-Park and Pallan.

Let's just go watch TV instead, yeah?

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC)

(ASCENDING TONE)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

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