Original subtitles

[♪]

[wind blowing]

[light upbeat music]

[Betty] Welcome to Hollywood,

the city where dreams are made

and sometimes come true.

♪ Clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feel so right ♪

[singer singing in Spanish]

[Betty] A lot of us don't find clowns to be all that funny.

More like,

scary.

Well, this is the story of a clown like no other, Paco.

♪ Feeling all right, feel so good to be the clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feel so right ♪

[upbeat music]

[buzzing]

[singer singing in Spanish]

[sizzling]

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Clown and out ♪

Whoa, ah.

Sorry, I...

Well, get a good look, pervert.

[Betty voiceover] So this is how I met Paco.

Not your typical rom-com moment.

He was kinda cute though.

You got such big eyes.

To better see you, cabron.

Do you speak Spanish?

[♪]

[microphone thumping]

- Hey. - [feedback]

So, I don't know why I can't find love in LA.

I am uh, handsome.

I'm bilingual and I own my own home.

It even sleeps four.

[utensils clanking]

How much time do I have?

1:39 before you have to go back to the kitchen.

Eh.

What else do I talk about?

Well, I guess I'll give some time back to the room.

- Thank you. - [audience clapping lightly]

My name is Paco.

[audience clapping lightly]

Let's give it up for Paco, the new dishwasher.

[light clapping]

But right now, put your hands together for a hottie,

Betty Kyle.

[audience cheering]

[Betty] Thank you, I'm Betty Kyle.

My ex-boyfriend was obsessed with that video game,

Metal Gear.

You know, the one where the only female in the game

is named, Quiet.

[audience laughing]

So I was nice and quiet when I left him.

Oh, Paco was talking about dating in LA.

I don't date.

It's too expensive.

The abortion budget alone will kill you.

[audience laughing]

Oh, I came up with a joke about abortion.

I don't think I'm gonna keep it.

[audience laughing]

Thank you. Please tip your waiters.

Come see me at the bar. I'm Betty Kyle.

[audience laughing]

[MC] All right, another round of applause for Betty.

Let's welcome Blaine to the stage.

- Ooh, yeah! - [man] Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, let's wake this room up.

Let's wake this room up.

Yeah, let's gets going.

Let's get going, yeah!

- Oh, I can't take Blaine. - [sizzling]

Paco, let's go.

What?

No, no. I still got work to do, no.

[Betty] Harry says it's fine.

Vamonos.

Hey, you can thank me by buying me a taco.

[indistinct chatter]

[people speaking in Spanish]

[Tito]

[Tito] Paco!

[Tito]

So, you're about to have an experience.

Let me help you with this.

This is a taco al pastor, mine.

And yours, if you add a little cheese,

is una gringa, like you.

Are you calling me cheesy?

[laughs] Very good.

[crunching]

That's pretty good.

So, what comedians do you admire?

Oh, Richard Pryor, Belushi, Robin Williams.

Definitely Carlin.

And my dad and I are huge fans of Mario Moreno Cantinflas.

Who's that?

Cantinflas.

I don't know him.

Oh, he was a great Mexican actor, director.

Charlie Chaplin called him the greatest comedian alive.

- [Betty] Hmm. - Yeah.

My dad met him once, in Mexico.

[Betty] Wow.

Well, Carlin is a huge influence of mine.

I was raised Catholic

and he does a lot about how fucked up the church is.

Oh, that was just it for me.

Yeah.

Or there seven words you can't say on television.

[Both] Shit, piss, fuck, cunt,

cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits!

[both laughing]

[♪]

What else is in your notebook?

[Paco] My five year plan

to become the best comedian in Hollywood.

Just jokes about my family, my dad and,

I don't know, other stuff.

Just, some of it's dark.

Dark is good.

I write about AA.

I thought that was an anonymous program.

Abortion and addiction.

It doesn't get any darker than that.

[Paco] Ah.

Well what about...

when you are torn between buying your dad's medicines

or treat that cute girl to tacos.

You should probably buy your dad the medicine.

[laughs]

But for real, you should write about you.

There's no one else like you.

There's no one else like you.

[♪]

[light dance music]

[distant dog barking]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[liquid pouring]

[phone ringing]

- Hey, Dr. Andrews. - Thankyou for calling me back.

[Dr. Andrews] Is there some reason

I can't speak directly to your father?

Are you fluent in the Spanish?

[Dr. Andrews] No, I don't speak Spanish.

Look, just be sure to sign the release form

that we sent to you, okay?

Of course, of course, yeah.

[Dr. Andrews] Okay, what I can tell you for now

is that we've determined

that the cancer has spread to your father's lungs,

and from what I can see, it looks pretty extensive,

but we won't know for sure

exactly what stage we're dealing with

- until we do a biopsy. - And uh,

how much, how much does that cost?

[Dr. Andrews] These procedures are very costly, Paco,

and I have to be honest,

the insurance information you've given our office

- doesn't appear to be - I, I,

I'll reach out to you tomorrow.

Thank you, Doc.

[both speaking in Spanish]

[groans]

[♪]

[sniffs]

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday dear dad ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[laughs]

[Betty] This is Ruso Ivanov celebrating his 50th birthday.

Actually, he's closer to 70.

He may live in a mansion,

but he's never paid a dime in taxes.

And in 24 hours, Paco is gonna wish he'd never met this guy.

- [Christina squealing] - [Ruso laughing]

- Happy birthday, dad. - Oh, nice.

Good box.

Oh, damn, put away the God damn phone.

You know how private I am.

- Come on. - Lou.

- All right. - Ooh.

So what has he done here?

[♪]

So this is the art project

that has gotten paint all over my furniture.

I'll clean it up.

[chuckles] You'll clean it up?

You can't even wipe your own ass.

Jesus.

[Christina speaking in Spanish]

[Christina] Did you design them?

Yeah, I've been up selling them on Instagram

and giving them away as gifts.

Dad, do you think you can wear them to the club?

I just need a few photos for my socials.

No faces.

Son, I wish you would stop designing shoes

and just focus on modeling shoes, model.

[Betty] Do you know someone

who's really good at something,

but they hate it with a passion?

That's Lou.

The camera loves him, but he doesn't love it back.

And he's got more daddy issues than Instagram followers.

Model.

[Christina squeals]

Oh, oh, okay.

- [unzipping] - Okay.

And...

[Christina squeals]

[Ruso] oh, wow.

I 3D printed it myself.

Just like mine.

Yeah?

Wow.

You may be my adopted daughter,

but you may know me better than my own son.

Why need a gun when you have that to protect you?

[kisses]

[Betty] Christina may look sweet and girly,

but she's a trained fighter.

A couple hours at the gun range is her idea of a good time.

You do not wanna cross this lady, believe me.

Lou, have you weighed yourself today?

I'm only up half a pound.

[Ruso] God damn it, Lou!

Your manager has a photo shoot set up for you next week

and you have to be lean.

It's muscle mass.

[Ruso sighs]

Take that away from him.

Take that away from him.

All right, look, tonight at my party,

don't invite any of your weirdo friends

and don't wear any loud clothes.

Don't worry, dad.

I'll make sure my clothes are very quiet.

[door squeaking]

Sophie, you are not the adult and you can't drink that.

I'm 16, mom.

So?

So I can drink alcohol as long as there's an adult round.

- Cheers. - No.

Give me that!

Sophie's acting out just like you did.

- Maybe worse. - Hi, mom.

[mom] Don't "Hi mom," me.

It's a big problem when Sophie

is not respecting the rules of this house.

I am raising the daughter that you abandoned.

I didn't abandon her.

I needed a year to get sober and get back on track.

And do what, stand up at a sleazy comedy club

- where liquor served? - I have plans, mom.

I'm gonna open my own club someday.

When are you gonna stop making plans

and start taking responsibility for your mistakes?

- Soon. - How soon?

Right now.

[sighs]

[Frankie] What the fuck, Betty?

Why'd you put me up after you.

You can handle it, Frankie.

Write better shit.

- [Frankie sighs] - [people chattering]

[speaking in Spanish]

[whispering in Spanish]

[Tito]

[Tito]

[restaurant noise]

Ah.

- Papi. - [Ruso] Mami.

Muah, muah.

[Ruso] Everybody's here, wonderful.

Now it's a party.

Oh, ladies, allow me to introduce you to Betty,

the best bottle service girl in town, turned comedian.

[bottle popping]

Champagne.

There we go, now it's a party.

[Christina] Woo!

You gonna stay and have a drink with us?

No thanks, I'm sober now.

How long?

Since the last time I saw you.

[Ruso] Wow.

I told you Harry's a bad influence.

A Don for Don Ruso.

- Thank you. - Cheers, girls.

Cheers.

- [Betty] And Lou. - Happy birthday!

Harry.

Happy birthday to my best customer.

[Ruso] Oh, how you doing, man?

50 Is the new 30.

Okay, I want everybody to pay attention to this.

This is a proper ass kissing, okay?

Harry, you've gotta come to the pool party tomorrow.

I, I, I wish I could, I wish you could,

but I promised the granddaughter I'd take her to Disneyland.

Mom's MIA, so someone has to be the parent.

Yep, no, say no more.

The chili cheese fries are for me.

My favorite too, with ranch.

Yeah, no, no, that's not happening.

Christina, grab those.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Bring him carrots, celery, no dressing.

Perfect example, mommy and daddy all the time.

Momager more like it.

Did you just fucking say something?

What the fuck did you just say?

[♪]

Happy birthday, dad.

[people chattering]

Has anybody seen Blaine?

Nope.

That puto's not allowed back here.

He broke my trash compactor.

[Betty] Oh what, did he hump it to death?

Whoa.

New look?

You told me there was no one else like me, so.

[Betty] Yeah, but I-

What do you call a clown that never sits down?

[Betty] What?

A stand up comedian.

That's good, you should use it.

You're on in five.

What?

Blaine's MIA.

This is your chance.

Don't blow it.

[speaking in Spanish]

[woman] Go Paco!

[Tito speaking Spanish]

[indistinct chatter]

- I don't do anything halfway. - [audience clapping]

We'll see.

- They always go away. - [laughs]

[whispering] By the power of Carlin.

And by the power of Cantinflas.

[Harry] All right, this next comedian,

when he's not breaking dishes, he's busting bellies.

Let's give it up for Paco, the dishwasher!

[audience applauding]

Don't fuck it up.

[audience cheering]

Whoa, whoa!

[high voice] How you all doing tonight?

[clears throat]

I'm sorry, guys.

I didn't have time to change.

The John Wayne Gacy fan club meeting ran over.

[audience laughing]

And you know how those killer clowns are, right?

Na na na na!

Hey, hey, hey, I got the Joker right here!

Yeah, and Krusty the clown.

Krusty, fuck Krusty the Clown.

So I think we have a few bozos in the house tonight.

[Ruso laughs]

Sorry fellas, only room for one clown tonight.

[audience laughing]

[Betty voiceover] Paco was inspired that night.

Wearing that clown outfit

completely opened up his whole act.

He just did a classic old school clown routine,

but the crowd loved him.

I loved him.

But he ran a little over time.

[flashlight clicking]

- God damn it, Paco. - [laughter]

[♪]

Okay, and that's your time.

His second time doing stand up and he goes over.

But you know how clowns are,

you give them an inch, they take a mile.

Aw!

[Betty] Whoa!

[audience laughing]

[both speaking in Spanish]

You understand what I said?

[both speaking in Spanish]

[audience laughing]

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

[Betty] Whoa!

[audience laughing]

No, no, no, no, no.

You're not gonna say anything else.

All right, bye!

[audience applauding]

Hey dad, you should invite him to your pool party.

- That is a good idea, son. - [glasses clinking]

Harry, Harry!

It was good.

God, that was fun.

All right, let's give it up for Paco and Betty.

Let's just improvise something like last time.

These guys are usually drunk

so they'll think anything's funny.

You never told me you've been here before.

I didn't think it mattered.

Any advice?

It can get pretty crazy,

so let's just do our set and go, okay?

Yeah.

I've never been in a pool party

that I don't have to clean the pool.

Oh.

Oh my God.

You guys were so funny last night. [laughs]

Oh, I'm Christina, Ruso's adopted daughter and bodyguard.

Come!

[Ruso laughing]

You made it, welcome.

Oh, is it crazy that I've always had this like fantasy

where I get spanked by a clown?

[Paco] Really?

Yeah.

Oh, daddy, they're here.

El Payaso and, La Gringa.

[Ruso] Welcome.

I am Ruso Ivanov.

Betty and I go way back.

But you?

Paco Francisco Saavedra Jr.

- Pleasure to meet you, sir. - [chuckles]

That is a God damn mouthful.

Even for a Chilango like me.

- Chilango? - [laughs]

- You're from Mexico City? - Sort of.

I'm born in Russia, but I married a girl from Mexico City.

Still have a place in Las Lomas.

Nice.

[Ruso] All right, Christina,

now bring this man a shot of Imperio Real Tequila

- from my cellar, okay? - Ooh!

And Pellegrino for Betty.

I don't know, you still sober since last night?

I'll have an espresso, please.

I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.

[laughs]

Come on, let's have fun.

[♪]

[Ruso] Hey, hey!

[all] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday dear Ruso ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

[people cheering]

[Ruso] Thank you

[both speaking in Spanish]

You were destined to be a clown.

Wow.

Well, I wouldn't mind growing up in Las Lomas.

Ah, Tepito's much safer, trust me.

Well, having a place in Las Lomas must be nice.

Eh, eh, it's alright.

All right, everybody gather round, come on!

This for you.

[Ruso] Thank you.

All right, everybody, cheers to the birthday boy!

[people cheering]

Like we do it in Mexico, huh?

[clears throat]

[people speaking in Spanish]

[laughter]

We better get set up.

All right, we'll, we'll talk later, okay?

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

All right, everybody.

Who wants more tequila?

[people cheering]

There's no stand.

Do you have one?

Yeah, there's one in the trunk.

Gimme your keys.

My heart,

it's open. [chuckles]

- [intense music] - [gasps]

[lively dance music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, what took you so long?

[water splashing]

[Betty sniffling]

[Paco] You okay?

Your eyeliner's a little jacked up.

Okay, let's just do the set and go.

[upbeat music]

Hello, everyone!

[cheering]

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

I have a surprise for you.

My dad told me to give you this.

I am just a messenger and here's your package.

[balloon deflating]

[Ruso laughs]

I used to think that my dad was a Ghostbuster,

but then I realized it was just a leaf blower on his back.

[Ruso laughs]

[bottle popping]

Hey clown, fight with me!

All right!

[Christina screams]

[Group] Shot, shot, sh ot, shot, shot!

- Everybody, cheers to Ruso! - [cheering]

[Ruso laughs]

You two, very funny together.

Thank you.

We actually both have our own material.

Yeah, no.

This is your future.

There hasn't been a good comedy duo

since Beavis and Butthead.

Maybe because duos rarely work.

We both want to compete in the standup showdown, so.

Together you compete and you will win.

Paco, Regina Freeman.

Love, love, love you.

And I've heard so much about you.

Betty too, of course.

How are you, darling?

El Payaso and Betty, they are a hit,

and they will make it in Hollywood, eh?

- I agree. - [Ruso] Mm-hm.

But we definitely have to update your style.

- Now you can start with these. - [snapping fingers]

I am never gonna wear 'em and uh,

they are perfect for El Payaso.

Dad, that was my gift for you.

Yeah, and you wanted marketing, right?

[Paco] Wow.

[water splashiing]

These are pretty cool.

Uh-huh, put 'em on.

[Paco] Yes, yes, of course.

Golden shoes.

- These are awesome. - Mm-hm.

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

They're perfect.

So call my assistant first thing Monday

- and we'll set something up. - [bracelets clanking]

Do you like sushi?

Of course you do, everybody does.

Ruso, it's always a wonderful time.

Plus a lady knows when to leave one of your parties.

[kisses]

[♪]

[Ruso] Oh shit.

Regina, wait, I gotta pay you.

- I was thinking-- - Oh, there you are.

Come.

[upbeat music]

[party chatter]

- Yeah, good. - [slider clicks]

I owe you for his shoot.

Even though the little fucker wants to sabotage it.

- Yes. - [case clicks]

[Regina] Absolutely.

[Ruso] Hang in there with us a little longer.

That should cover that for a little while.

[Regina] Okay.

I trust you.

- [Ruso] Thank you for coming. - [Regina laughs]

- [kisses] - [Regina] Absolutely.

[footsteps]

- [♪] - [slider opens]

Whose birthday is it?

[all] Yours!

Fuckin' aye right it is.

You, you, eh.

Buy yourself a new costume

and you make sure you call Regina.

We're gonna get going, too.

[Ruso] No, no, no.

This Chilango said would have a drink with us.

One drink, Betty. Come on.

Come on, Betty, just one.

Can I talk to you in private?

- Oh. - Ooh!

- Paco's in trouble. - [Ruso chuckles]

All right, who came to kiss the ring?

[whispering] Let's go. You promised me.

I know, but that was before.

He just introduced to a manager.

Paco, you don't know these people like I do.

They're dangerous.

Why, because he's Russian or Mexican?

Come on, Betty, he's a business man.

Oh, you think these girls are here by choice?

They're just bottle girls.

It's a pool party.

Come on, let's have some fun.

Relax.

How can you be so naive?

Come on.

We just made some cash.

Why don't you just relax and have some fun?

I want to go because Ruso put his hands on me earlier.

When?

You don't believe me?

I didn't say that.

[Lou] It's true, Payaso. - Hmm?

Hey, you mind your own business, Ruso Jr.

Want to hear a joke, Payaso?

[♪]

My dad has had it bad for Betty for a long time.

What do you mean?

Check it out.

You wanna see it before I post it on Instagram?

- Yes. - No.

Then take off those shoes, clown.

Paco, I want to leave now.

- [Paco] Hey, Betty, no. - [Lou] You'll regret this, Payaso.

[Paco] Let me fix this shit now.

No, Paco, wait.

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

[Betty] Paco, come here.

- Stop. - Handle this.

- [Betty] Paco. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Paco, what's going on?

Too many tequilas?

Ruso needs to apologize to my girl.

I'm not your girl.

I don't belong to anyone.

All right, you two better get going.

[Ruso] Yeah, come on, Paco.

Don't overreact.

It was all a misunderstanding.

Paco, let's go.

Not until he apologize!

Son, you do not want to do this.

I'm not staying for this macho bullshit.

No, no, no.

Wait.

[♪]

- [punch smacking] - [Ruso laughs]

[party guest] Christine is whooping the clown's ass!

We'll just teach your boyfriend here

a lesson about respect.

- [punch smacking] - [Ruso laughs]

Run, Betty, run, run!

[lively music]

Oh my God.

You're from Barrio Bravo?

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

Do we finish the lesson?

- What do you guys think? - [kick thuds]

[crowd cheers]

- [lively music] - [Christina hoots]

Oh shit, Christina, your gun.

Christina.

Christina, your gun! Get your--

[crowd gasping]

Okay, okay.

Give it back.

You don't even know how to use it. Come on.

Relax, don't be an idiot.

Give it back.

Stop playing the hero.

Come on!

[gunshot firing]

[beep droning]

[haunting music]

[high pitch buzzing]

[crowd screaming]

[♪]

[water splashing]

- Give me the gun! - [guests screaming]

Give the gun, okay, give me the gun!

Careful, he's drowning!

[water sloshing]

[guests screaming]

[haunting music]

[water splashing]

[haunting music]

[♪]

[water splashing]

[♪]

Daddy.

Get out of here!

Daddy.

[Paco grunting]

I'll get you for this, Payaso!

You'll pay!

[intense music]

[grunts]

[guest screaming]

Fuck!

Paco, shit!

[people screaming]

Payaso, I'll get you for this!

What happened?!

[Paco] Start the car, Betty!

[Betty] Did somebody get hurt?

- [Paco] Go, go, go now! - [engine starting]

[Betty] Paco, what's going on?

- Hold on! - [tires screeching]

- Oh my God.

[intense music]

[newscaster] Breaking news out of the Hollywood Hills.

Good evening.

Alleged crime kingpin, Ruso Ivanov,

was the victim of a shooting during his birthday party.

Police have identified and arrested two suspects.

Local clown comedian, Paco Saavedra,

and his girlfriend, Betty Kyle.

The LAPD Crime Lab will determine

if a faulty 3D printed gun involved in the shooting

was the cause of death.

In other news, there seems to be a huge uptick...

[upbeat music]

[woman] Mr. Saavedra, be reasonable.

Everyone knows you as the clown.

El Payaso, huh?

I'm a Renaissance man.

A writer, poet, philosopher, shoe designer,

comedian and uh, and a clown.

They want to see that.

Cute.

[woman] Please.

I'm a single mother

and Dr. Wright is gonna fire me

if you don't go out there with the grease paint on.

No, no, no, no, no.

No one is gonna fire you, dear.

[♪]

[Assistant] Five minutes to air.

I'll meet you halfway.

[audience applauding]

[host] Live from Hollywood, California,

Here's Dr. Wright!

Welcome to another episode of "Get Right with Dr. Wright."

Today's guest is someone who's done it all.

From pool cleaner/dishwasher, to clown/comedian,

from murder suspect to crime hero.

Paco began his artistic journey as a young boy

performing alongside his father

in the rough streets of Tepito.

Seeking a better life,

his father brought the family to the US.

Paco gave it his all,

cleaning pools and washing dishes during the day,

determined to break into the comedy club circuit at night.

A dreamer in the best sense of the word,

Paco created El Payaso.

Random circumstances brought the clown comedian

to the attention of an international crime boss.

Was it murder?

Was it self-defense?

Regardless, El Payaso became a social media darling

and his fame only grew.

Today he's here to tell us all about his new book.

Let's give a warm welcome to El Payaso, Paco Saavedra!

[audience applauding]

[Frankie] Well, at least he didn't go full Bozo the Clown.

He starts singing I'm uh, I'm turning this thing off.

Yeah.

Better be a clown for a night

than a schmuck for a lifetime, right?

[rim shot banging]

Okay, thank you for coming by.

Grab a seat.

- Thank you, Doctor. - Okay.

[chuckles]

Wow.

Okay, tell us, who shall I interview?

Paco, the shameless clown

who brought a disgusting kingpin to justice.

[audience cheering]

Or, Paco,

the respectable author of the New York Times

number three bestselling book, "Clown and Out."

[audience applauding]

How about just Paco.

[audience] Aw!

Did he put that on with a scrub brush?

[Dr. Wright] You are good.

You are good.

It's like his comedy, it's half-assed.

[laughs]

Now, in your book,

you mentioned that you and your dad

had a little clown routine

on the streets of Tepito together.

Well, my dad was the master.

Everything I know I learned from him.

[dreamy music]

[Paco] Making people laugh is in his blood

and he's always working out new routines.

[both speaking in Spanish]

[balloon deflating]

[squeaking]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[♪]

[dad coughing]

[Dr. Wright] In chapter two,

you said that you met Betty Kyle in your first comedy set.

Looks like both comedy and love were in your cards.

As corny as it sounds, it was love at first sight.

[audience] Aw!

Why don't we meet the papaya to your banana, La Gringa?

Betty Kyle, come on out.

- Oh! - Oh wow.

She is gonna clean all that makeup off his face, wow.

Did you know she was gonna be on?

No, no.

I don't think they've seen each other in months.

[Dr. Wright] Over here, darling, have a seat.

Uh, 865 days, actually.

[Dr. Wright] Right here.

Well, which is it, Betty or La Gringa?

Oh, Betty, please.

La Gringa is a derogatory nickname that Paco gave me.

- I'm American, not a gringa. - [audience cheers]

Now you've come a long way from addiction and sex slavery

to single mother, comedy club owner booking national acts.

How did you do it?

Being sober.

That's what has allowed me to own my own business

- and fulfill my dreams. - [audience cheering]

Betty, why did you not tell Paco

what happened to you that day at Ruso's house?

We needed the work.

I wanted to do the act and leave.

I thought my issues with Ruso could wait.

[♪]

[Betty gasps]

Where you going so fast?

Let go of me.

Ever since I did let you go,

you've been getting awful uppity.

I came here to work.

Don't touch me.

I didn't have to let you go.

I don't owe you anything.

- Aw. - [panting]

Oh, please.

[Ruso speaking in Spanish]

[Betty yelling]

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

You used to like this.

Dad!

Time to open gifts.

Fuck.

[hand smacking]

[panting]

- [Lou] Dad! - [Betty whimpers]

You fucked up.

[footsteps]

[Betty hyperventilating]

What's going on, dad?

Don't fucking touch me.

[tense music]

Hey, what took you so long?

[party chatter]

[Paco] You okay?

Paco, did you ever stop and think

how Betty must have felt that day,

having it perform after being sexually assaulted by Ruso?

We needed the money.

His father was sick

and I was trying to get my daughter back.

Yeah, at a gig for human traffickers.

You should have told me.

I tried to warn you,

but you were suckered in by a shady agent

- and a pair of gold shoes. - [audience groans]

Now I hear you guys got a little reward for this.

- How much you get, huh, huh? - [audience laughs]

We gave them some money to help restart their lives.

We're just happy those girls are back with their families.

We didn't actually get to keep as much of it

as the fans may think.

That's why I was still a bartender

and the clown was a dishwasher.

[upbeat music]

- [thudding] - [money rustling]

[Paco] So glad I ignored the flashlight that night.

[laughs] We've all done it.

Not in the main room,

- but, - Ouch.

So I want you to meet my dad.

[♪]

Paco.

So I like you [kisses] a lot, you know that.

I, I just, I don't want things to get weird, that's all.

[Paco] What do you mean weird, why?

I mean, we've been together for months.

What do you wanna say?

"Let's not taco about commitment?"

Okay, we need to have some ground rules.

No comedy bits in bed.

[phone ringing]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[♪]

Oh shit.

Piss.

Oh, fuck?

Cunt.

Cocksucker.

Motherfucker.

Oh, tits.

Wait, wait, wait.

I thought you said no comedy bits in bed?

All right.

By the way, did you give Paco permission

to write all those intimate moments that I read?

Juicy!

I'm actually not at liberty to discuss it.

There's an ongoing court case.

[Audience] Oh!

Anyway, you're gonna play a little game

of truth or dare with us, right?

Let's do it.

- That's what I wanna hear. - [audience applauds]

We'll be back after these messages.

[laughing] Whoa!

[grunting]

[high voice] Do you slip and fall?

Leave that to clowns like me.

Injured, call now!

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

[phone ringing]

[Director] Cut, please, phones off.

Sorry, sorry.

Call 1-800-Los Avocados

[both speaking in Spanish]

I ran out of juice.

[playful music]

[water lapping]

What are you doing, loquilla?

Aren't the Walter's in Europe?

Yes, but we might be on candid camera.

Hmm.

If we are, do you care?

[Paco laughs]

[playful music]

[pole clanking]

Someday we're going to be making love

in a pool like this every day.

[Paco] I'll make sure to check the pH and the alkaline.

[Betty laughs]

[playful music]

I'll own a club and you'll go on the road.

You'll get discovered

and you'll have our own television show.

[Paco] And we'll have six kids.

Six?

Uh no, I already have a kid. [laughs]

You do?

[birds chirping]

Oh, I thought I told you.

Sophie, she's, she's with my folks in Texas.

I want to bring her to LA.

Paco, look at me.

[water lapping]

Paco.

[both speaking in Spanish]

[pole clattering]

Fuck.

Let's forget about everything and forget the rules.

Let's go for our dream, kids included.

[screams]

[water splashing]

[light upbeat music]

[waves lapping]

[♪]

[silent dialogue]

[waves crashing]

[water bubbling]

[Betty] I don't think your dad likes me very much.

Of course he does.

He's just, you know, his English is not so good.

Okay, well, I understood borracha loud and clear.

He was playing.

He also drinks, you know?

It's a joke.

[gasps]

Wow.

Oh.

- [Paco] Whoa. - Oh my gosh.

Um, you don't use pomegranate seeds.

That's good, I hate them anyway.

Oy.

[dad speaking in Spanish]

My mom was allergic, so that's why we don't--

How was I supposed to know that?

I know, I know.

Don't worry, I'll talk to him.

[Paco sighs]

[both speaking in Spanish]

I really like her.

[both speaking in Spanish]

[glass clanking]

Ah!

[♪]

[Betty exhales]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[Betty] Looks delicious.

[♪]

Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Define bad. [laughs]

Oh, he's never gotten over losing my mom.

He misses her.

Must be something to love someone like that.

Hey, I'm sitting here.

You know what I mean.

I just wanted him to like me.

[brush clanking]

He loves you because he loves me,

and that's how family works.

Maybe your family.

For you, too.

You are my family.

Here.

Help me with this.

Let's see if you can do it better.

[brushes clattering]

[Paco] You know, when I was a kid, my mom used to do my makeup.

Well, I'm not saying I'm better than your mom,

but I learned from my mom and she was Miss Texas 1982, so.

- Ooh. - Mm-hm.

I'm in the presence of royalty.

[Betty] Yeah, don't forget it.

So that makes me royal?

- A royal pain in the, yes, royalty. - [laughs]

What do you think?

Ah.

I think there's no one else like you.

[kisses]

Your dad's gonna hear.

No, he's deaf.

[both laughing]

[newscaster] Being accused of murder ends most Hollywood careers.

Unless your a Paco Saavedra and Betty Kyle.

While awaiting their legal fate,

the celebrity comedy couple

has become a huge Twitter trending topic,

getting millions of followers on social media.

I love Betty and Paco.

Their act changed my life.

Payaso power, woo!

[fan speaking in Spanish]

Paco, you gotta do my sister's quinceanera!

Paco and Betty are the bomb.com.

[fans] Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso!

[door clicks shut]

[crowd chattering]

Betty!

Talk to your boy.

These fucking clown fans are relentless.

I know, I'm sorry.

The media and regulars are pissed

that they have to walk around the back now.

[Betty] I'll take care of it.

God, I need a meeting.

[items rustling]

Why do you think I asked you to lead?

[glasses clanking]

[Betty] When I got sober, I had to change everything.

I was in a bad crowd.

I, I had to cut out a lot of people from my life.

[group leader] Two minutes, Betty.

My ex abused me constantly.

My sponsor said,

"Don't date anyone your first year of sobriety."

But then I met Paco

and he makes me feel like myself again.

I don't drink.

I call my sponsor.

I sponsor other women.

I give it all to my higher power.

So I guess if there's one thing I want you all to hear,

it's that no matter how ugly things look,

there's always hope.

Thanks.

[group clapping]

[clattering]

[light dramatic music]

[water lapping]

What do you mean all my dad's accounts are frozen?

You are my accountant.

[♪]

[whispers] I have no money?

Evicted?

Paco!

[camera clicks]

[camera clicking]

[Paco] Wow, you look great.

I look ridiculous.

[Regina] Hey kids,

guess who just got 2 million followers on Instagram?

And you have to check out this post.

[Regina laughing]

That angle makes my eyes look crossed.

I got a doctor that can fix all of that, snip snip.

[Betty] I don't need plastic surgery.

[Regina] Of course you don't.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, check this out.

The gold kicks are really popular.

[Regina] That reminds me,

we now have a sample of the new Pacotillas.

Pacotillas?

I don't understand.

I thought you spoke Spanish.

Yes, I do.

And pacotillas mean, shitty, trashy, chaffa, no bueno.

What?

I'll hide the tag.

This is just like a sample, right?

Good idea, yes, do that.

[Regina snapping fingers]

Let's go, let's do this.

Excuse me, I have to make a phone call.

Uh, Betty, we're gonna need you in this shot.

- Hey. - Sup?

I thought we were gonna stop promoting the act.

We're supposed to perform our own material

for the standup showdown.

- [man] Uh, Betty? - Yep.

All right, we will.

Regina says it's gonna be a slow transition.

It, it can't be too slow.

It's in two months.

Uh, okay so,

I need you to kind of come in close together.

Closeness, smiles, all that good stuff loves about, right?

[Regina] That's right, Pacotillas.

[Lou] What the fuck?

[Regina] Come on, guys.

We have to sell those shoes.

Love that, love that right there. Hold that.

That's my design!

- Shoe. - [Regina] There he is.

Bring your clown bit.

That's my design!

Payaso!

[♪]

Hello everybody.

How's it going?

I have La Gringa here with me.

Actually, I go by Betty.

Say hi to the peoples, Betty.

Footlover69, stop DMing me, please.

Ah, she's just kidding, my friend.

So I have great news for you all.

The gold kicks are out.

Boom!

Look at that beauty.

All right, amigos, remember.

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

Love you.

Betty, what the heck?

You can't talk like that to our followers.

[Betty] What?

Yeah, Regina said you have to be more likable.

- Likable? - Yeah.

Screw likable and screw Regina.

Paco, she's using us as a cheap novelty act, nothing more.

That's who you're in business with.

Because she knows, because we need her.

No, you need her!

You're the clown.

Chinga.

[car honking]

[♪]

[keys jangling]

[both speaking in Spanish]

He sells life insurance.

I was just telling your dad here about my friend.

His dad died and had no life insurance,

so my friend had to pay for the whole funeral out of pocket.

Now he's broke.

Hey, that, that's awful.

Hey, can I have a word with you outside?

[♪]

[Lou speaking in Spanish]

It was so nice to meet you.

Your son really cares about you.

Nice to meet you.

[dad speaking in Spanish]

Where is my money, motherfucker?

What are you talking about?

I saw you take the briefcase.

Take your hands off me.

[Lou] You stole that money

and I'm gonna need you to give it back to me.

That money's dirty and you know it.

Besides, it's all gone.

I gave it to your dad's victims.

It looks like your dad's

gonna need life insurance after all.

And take down that fucking billboard

or I'll sue you for everything you own, all right?

Those shoes are Lou's originals.

Don't forget that.

[tense music]

Your dad has a cute house.

See you around, clown.

[whooshing]

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

Hold on, hold on.

[Paco] What?

What were you saying

about Paco getting paid more than me?

Calm down.

The client seems to think the clown is the star.

- [Paco] Oh. - Come on, Betty.

What's the problem?

It's just a commercial.

The problem is gender equity.

We're supposed to be a duo.

So now you wanna change the world?

I'm tired of being a gimmick.

Look at you.

No, what, what is all this bullshit?

This bullshit is our job.

I'm done, get me down, I'm done.

- No, Regina. - Jesus Christ.

- [Regina] One more take. - Let us down.

I'll unhook myself.

- I'll unhook myself right now. - [director] Come on, guys.

Ah.

[Director] Settle down.

Oh, grow up, great.

Someone's gotta get my wig. Nice.

[light upbeat music]

[engine revving]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[♪]

[phone ringing]

[Betty] Hey kiddo.

So mom, I have been Googling

and I sent out a DNA sample for analysis.

Once I get it back,

I'll be closer to finding out who my biological dad is

so I can go live with him since you don't want me to.

Sophie, I promise,

if you give me a little more time to close this deal

I'll come get you myself.

I'm not stopping until I find out my dad is.

No, don't you--

Fuck.

[door squeaking]

Surprise!

[whistle noise]

I'm sorry, mamacita.

God damn it, Paco,

I hope you can return this piece of shit.

What?

No!

What, what piece of shit?

I bought it for us so we can forget about everything

and get away, tour!

You know, have an adventure.

Paco, be real.

We can't just leave.

What about your dad's surgery?

I've got a daughter to take care of.

You're just mad because I don't wanna buy this broke down club.

This is my dream.

I told you that.

Hell no.

We're past this place.

No, maybe you are, but this is my home.

It's your home?

A place filled with loser comedians,

sleazy patrons and alcohol, really?

Is that what you want for your daughter?

To be in a place where she can become

a pregnant, alcoholic, single mother like you?

- [bag thudding] - You're just jealous

because you're not half the comedian that I am!

And I helped you 'cause I believed in you.

Believed?

So you don't anymore?

No, I don't.

And Paco.

Yeah.

Don't contact me again.

- Fine, I won't. - [footsteps]

[door closes]

[clanking]

So, the RV was the reason why you two broke up?

- [both] Not the only reason. - [audience laughs]

Chapter six in my book talks about it.

And I'm gonna write my own book that tells the real truth.

And my book's gonna have pictures

and they're gonna be sexy pictures.

That's a good bathroom read.

But before you write this scandalous, tell all book,

- let's play another game! - [scratching effect]

Egg my head!

Now look, I have eight eggs.

Four have been hard boiled, four remain uncooked.

You must smash the eggs on your big heads.

Two raw eggs smashed on a head loses.

Ladies first.

I'm vegan.

You don't eat them, you smash them.

[audience laughing]

This I want to see.

Of course you do.

You probably asked to play this Russian egg roulette game.

[Director] Pictures are ready.

Uh, speaking of Russians, uh, Betty,

you had a relationship with Ruso before you met Paco, right?

[audience groaning]

[audience] Oh! Wow.

No, no.

Hello! [chuckles]

All right.

[smashing]

- [audience cheers] - 1-0.

Well played, Paco.

Betty, your turn.

- [smashing] - [Audience] Oh!

1-1.

I'll bet any amount of money, here, let's see what I got.

- Five bucks, five bucks. - Okay.

- She loses it to right. - Paco is toast.

Betty, Paco risked his life to save your honor,

and you never bothered to tell him

about your relationship with Ruso?

Obviously, she forgot to mention--

- [smashing] - [audience laughing]

Now everything makes sense.

There was never a relationship.

They were just regulars at the club.

Really? Well these pictures show otherwise.

[Dr. Wright chuckles]

- [smashing] - [audience laughing]

[laughs]

No, actually it's good for my hair, conditioner.

Well, I guess the joke's on me.

[audience laughing]

Looks like the yolk's on you, too. [laughs]

[glasses clinking]

[host] Everybody, let's give them a hand!

[audience applauding]

[crickets chirping]

[keys tapping]

[messages chiming]

[electricity powering down]

[ominous music]

[static hissing]

[creepy laughter]

- [person screaming] - [Lou gasps]

- [ominous music] - [door slams]

[clown laughing diabolically]

[clown nose honking]

- [ominous music continues] - [door creaking]

[gunshots firing]

[gun clicking]

- [Lou] No, please no! - [clown laughing diabolically]

- [stabbing noise] - No!

[Lou screaming]

No, no!

[clown laughing diabolically]

No, no!

Lou, Lou!

Come on, wake up.

Are you okay?

I've been trying to call you.

Your cell phone's dead.

[panting]

I turned it off.

I think the FBI's listening to me.

Come on.

I have an idea on how we handle the clown.

Yeah. [panting]

[engine revving]

[melancholy music]

Paco!

[both speaking in Spanish]

What about him?

Papa!

[♪]

[plastic rustling]

He didn't take his medicines.

[Neighbor] So sorry, Paco.

[melancholy music]

[door buzzer buzzing]

[dad coughing]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[ball squeaks]

- [coughs] - Hey, hey,

- hey, hey, hey, hey. - [smacking]

His medicines, please, please!

[♪]

[both speaking in Spanish]

[Paco] Papa!

- [hand pounding on glass] - [coughing]

- [silent dialogue] - [pounding]

[silent dialogue]

[door clicks shut]

[voicemail beeping]

Dr. Andrews, this is Paco.

Please, please,

you have to call the detention center

and make them to give him his medicines.

And, and I need the deposit back.

Yes, may I speak with Mr. Jackson, please?

[tense music]

Are you gonna be sorry when he dies?

- Fuck! - [beeps]

[voicemail] Hello, we are not available now.

Please leave your name and phone number after the beep.

We'll return your call.

[voicemail beeping]

[♪]

[Ken] Hi, to leave a message for Ken, press one.

[Paco] This is an emergency.

This is Francisco Saavedra, the clown.

- [phone ringing] - [melancholy music]

[sobbing]

[whooshing]

[Paco sighs]

[sighs]

Hello everyone.

Paco here.

It's been a while.

I missed you all.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Hi everyone.

I know I don't say it enough,

but your comments and DMs really have meant a lot to me.

I am sorry about my absence,

but I wanted to share this video with you all

and thank you for all your support.

I have the wonderful, most wonderful fans in the world,

and I really appreciate it.

Our love from the fans can be overwhelming,

but it really does mean so much.

Thank you.

Paco and I are done.

We're not performing together anymore.

Betty and I are separating,

so she will do her thing and I'll do mine.

We're on different paths.

I need to focus on getting my own club one day

and getting my life together

to bring my daughter Sophie home.

I gotta be honest, I, I don't know what to do.

I feel like I lost my purpose, my passion.

So, I wanna get back to that.

Oh my gosh, footlover69, I have actually missed you.

[Betty laughs]

I just wanna focus and make people laugh again.

You know, bring some joy to this world

and definitely make my father proud.

- [ball squeaking] - [kisses]

Thank you again, guys.

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

Okay, I guess that's it.

See you around.

[upbeat music]

[group speaking in Spanish]

[Paco burps]

Give me that.

[both speaking in Spanish]

[yelling]

[man] You don't fuck with a Mexican cook, man, shit.

[cook speaking in Spanish]

You know this shit ain't you, right?

[exhales]

Hey, your dad's gonna be okay, man.

Okay?

You just gotta get, get outta this funk, bro.

Go do like a bunch of clubs everywhere, you know?

Fucking travel, see the world, live your best life.

[sobbing] I lost Betty, wey.

Listen, listen, this is important.

Do you know how much ass you're gonna pull inside that RV,

just being on the road?

You're gonna be like "Betty who," in three months.

Soulmates are meant to be forever, bro.

[man] Soulmates?

- No, no fucking way, man. - Yeah.

You know how many Betty's there are

from San Bernardino to Baltimore, okay?

Snap outta this shit.

You're fucking El Payaso.

[cook] Paco!

Paco!

[cook speaking in Spanish]

- Hey, hey, no, no! - [tires screeching]

[Lou laughing]

Woo!

[friends yelling in Spanish]

[♪]

So long, Payaso!

- [lively music] - [Christina] Woo!

[horn honking]

Woo!

We did it, Lou, we fucking did it!

[Christina squeals]

[Paco] Pinche Lou!

I'm gonna get you for this!

[audience applauding]

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Nice crowd.

Let's give a warm welcome to this next comedian.

She's a successful entrepreneur, a single mother,

and the best sober bartender we ever had.

Let's give it up for a hottie, Betty Kyle.

[audience applauding]

Hi, how is everybody?

[audience member] Yeah!

So some of you are used to seeing me up here with a clown.

We're actually not together anymore.

[audience] Aww.

Oh, please don't, ugh, don't feel bad for me.

Um, you know those long, really long,

extra long clown shoes?

- It's false advertising. - [audience laughing]

My room is right next to theirs,

and every Christmas I thought I was hearing Santa,

- but really? - [mic knocking]

You know what I mean?

It's 'cause they were fucking. Do you get it?

Smartphones have canceled bad days.

Can't have one, everybody'll know about it now.

And it's not smart.

It's not smart.

When I, when I type the word "and,"

it autocorrects to abs!

[audience laughing]

Do I look like somebody who would ever type the word abs?

It's aggressive.

It's just like, "Hey Vinny, take a bite of stromboli."

"I'm fine, mom, thank you."

"Just try it, you're gonna love it."

"Just, I'm, I'm good."

"Just take a bite of the stromboli."

"I'm sitting on the toilet, ma."

[audience laughing]

[Paco urinating]

Hey, I like the new look.

It's, it's dapper.

[laughs]

[Paco] Thanks homie.

I'm up next.

Ah, you got this.

- Paco! - [Paco] Oh.

Hey lady, what are you doing in the men's room?

Uh, please.

I've seen more dick than I care to remember.

Put these on.

- [urinal flushing] - And nope.

What do you mean, "Nope?"

There's a network executive in the house tonight.

I don't care.

I'm tired of playing the clown, lady.

Well, the clown is all you got.

So as your manager, I'm advising you to change your clothes.

Uh, maybe you shouldn't be my manager, huh?

What are you gonna do, huh?

In case somebody asks you to change your hair

or wear a different type of shoe?

I'll hire someone who wants to rep me, not a character!

Fine, but you have a contract with me

and I own 20% of your ass for another year.

[woman] Hey, come on guys.

You're blocking the bathroom.

Well, it's worth every penny

to never have to hear you yell my name again.

Oh God, it stinks in here.

It stinks in here, yes.

You're disgusting.

[chains clanking]

[laughs] Oh shit.

That was the coolest thing I've ever seen,

and I went to Coachella last year.

Oh, uh, use all this stuff.

You know what I mean?

Like, like when you go on stage tonight, okay?

- [Paco] All right. - All right, go get it.

- Smell some very bad - [speaking in Spanish]

[man] Sorry, sorry.

That's a rap with Regina.

Doctor, lawyer, or accountant,

are the only acceptable career choices for us.

But I'm so lucky that my parents give up on me.

[audience laughing]

They did.

I'm not what the locals

consider to be traditionally handsome.

I feel like I could do better in other parts of the country.

I'm at least an Iowa nine.

[audience laughing]

I didn't let my homelessness deter me from uh, dating.

I was dating this girl when I was living in my car.

She lived two cars behind me.

The PT cruise, it was amazing.

[audience laughing]

Thank you all.

[audience applauding]

All right, we're having a great time, right?

This has been the best Standup Showdowns Finals yet.

It's only gonna keep getting better.

Right now we're gonna introduce the former,

this guy, he was the former half

of the Payaso and the Gringa.

[audience member] Paco, Paco!

[crowd jeering]

[Harry] Huh, interesting.

Let's give it up for Paco, the Payaso.

[audience applauding]

[crowd chanting]

Hello?

Yes?

[audience cheering]

Right, well, looks like uh, due to technical difficulties.

the Payaso has lost his mojo.

[audience] Oh!

All right, on that same note.

[♪]

[man] Hey, watch it, clown. What the hell.

[crowd] Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso!

[people laughing]

[dramatic music]

[running footsteps]

[buzzing]

My father, Mr. Saavedra.

I'm sorry,

he didn't make it.

- [dramatic music] - [phone clicks]

[silent dialogue]

[dad speaking in Spanish]

[waves crashing]

[♪]

[intense music]

[high voice] Did you slip and fall?

Leave that clowns like me.

Injured?

- Call now. - [gavel banging]

Better call JJ Attorneys.

[lively music]

We have an update on our breaking news story

on the shooting death of crime kingpin, Ruso Ivanov.

The county district attorney

determined that Mr. Saavedra was acting in self-defense

and will not prosecute.

Clown fans continue to show the support on social media.

The standup comedians are in a high demand

at clubs throughout the Southland,

and this golden shoe

is the must have accessory of the season.

It lights up.

- [gunshot firing] - [glass cracking]

I'd like to hear an impartial third party

weigh in on this mess.

You know, our show wouldn't be fair

if we didn't explore all sides to the story.

Please welcome the son of the notorious Ruso Ivanov,

Lou Ivanovf!

- [audience applauding] - [lively music]

[Blaine] Ooh, someone ate their feelings.

[laughing] Oh.

[Frankie] No more modeling.

Oh, Paco's so dead.

[♪]

[Dr. Wright] Okay, come on down.

Have a seat, please.

Come join the party, come on.

There you go, buddy.

Okay, have a seat.

- Or don't have a seat. - [audience laughing]

Well, Lou, why did you reach out to us?

I didn't have time to write a book.

[audience laughing]

I thought I'd come here

and tell all of you my side of the story.

And we definitely want to hear it.

I hope someone throws a chair.

Yeah. [laughs]

[Frankie] Feels like he's gonna break the chair.

- [chair creaks] - Ooh, it just bent!

Betty and Paco aren't the caped superheroes

everyone thinks they are.

Betty likes to act like a little miss born again,

but she was a madam that brought young girls to my dad.

Whoa, no.

- What is this? - [Lou] And Sophie,

her daughter, is my half sister.

[Frankie] Oh, snap!

This shit is bananas.

[Blaine] This shit got dark.

Is this true, Betty?

Yes, Ruso is the father.

But I never brought women to him.

I got out.

You know, Betty should be arrested

and charged with aiding abetting a criminal.

And Paco--

What about Paco?

This Payaso should be arrested

and charged with premeditated murder.

He knew about my dad's relationship with Betty.

That's why he went into that house

with the intention of killing him out of jealousy.

No, no, no, no, no. I didn't know anything about that.

Murderer!

- [audience gasps] - [Lou coughing]

I shot your father on self-defense, man.

And I'm sorry.

I lost my father too.

[Lou laughs]

What the fuck is funny about it?

I called ICE on your dad.

[audience gasps]

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

My dad died alone!

In the fucking detention center by himself!

Yo, you killed my dad?

You made a fortune off of my heart!

Now I want you to tell everyone

who the true artist is behind the golden shoes.

Everything for these fucking shoes, really?!

Say it!

- We are ready with the tape. - [Lou] Tell everyone who the true artist is.

Paco, Betty, Lou, let's just all settle down

and put your shoe back on, please.

Our producer has obtained exclusive footage

from one of our guests

who recorded the fight on his cell phone.

[Lou] No, I want Paco to confess.

[Director] Rolling.

Ladies and gentlemen,

what you're seeing you've seen before.

Famous viral video, over 50 million viewers.

Notorious Ruso Ivanov, human trafficker.

As you can see, Paco's pointing the gun.

- Aiming the gun. - [gunshot fires]

All right, all right, stop, stop, stop.

Rewind it, rewind it, rewind it!

Doctor, I think he took the bait.

Now milk it.

- What do you see, Paco? - [gunshot and screaming]

Right there, right there, right there.

Stop, stop.

- Rewind it, rewind it. - [video rewinding]

Stop, yeah!

Zoom in!

[audience gasps]

It was you.

You shot your dad!

I, I thought I did it in the confusion.

I, I shot the gun, but it was you!

No, you shot my dad.

Ladies and gentlemen, looks like we have a winner.

- I knew it. - I called it.

Lou Ivanov!

[audience laughing]

Payaso.

[Paco] Hey, hey, hey.

- Whoa. Whoa. - Oh shit.

Holy fuck, oh, whoa, whoa.

Ah!

Easy, Lou.

- Get down. - Lou.

[Betty] Get down.

[Paco] Lou, okay, man.

Come on, man.

Lou, put the gun down.

You're not gonna shoot anybody.

What, you're gonna shoot me on my show

in national TV with a studio audience, anybody?

- [gunshots firing] - [screaming]

[Frankie] Uh. Do we call someone?

Right?

Easy.

[director] Talk to him, talk to him.

We're calling the police.

Stop!

Lou, this is not you.

You're not a murderer.

And you killed dad?

I had to.

I had to stop him from hurting women like my mom,

like Betty, like you.

[heavy breathing]

Let's go.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, come on.

- Pick up, pick up, pick up. - [woman] All operators are busy

- at this time. - No, no, no.

- Don't put me on voicemail! - [beeps]

Voicemail for the cops?

- Ah. - You called 911, right?

See, I can get it right this time.

[gunshot firing]

Uh, uh, should we get down there?

[TV beep droning]

We're here, we're safe.

[cook speaking in Spanish]

[director] He's fired the gun.

No one's been shot yet,

but there are four people in there with him.

[tense music]

[Lou] Come on, Paco. [laughs]

Where are you?

Come on, Lou.

We, we, we can talk this out.

I'm done talking.

[Christina] Oh, come on, Lou.

It's a set up. let's go.

Let's get outta here!

- [♪] - [exhales]

I just want Paco to apologize.

[Christina] Lou, the police are probably coming.

All right, man, I'm sorry!

[Christina] Come on, let's get outta here!

[Paco] It was you who designed the golden shoes.

You and Betty are no different than my dad!

[gunshot firing]

Dr. Wright, get out.

We're pumping smoke in.

Now's your chance, go!

[smoke hissing]

[Christina coughing]

Go, go, go, go get help.

No, I won't leave you.

He just wants me.

Go get help.

[laughs] Come out and play.

[Christina] They're coming.

I can hear the cops coming, Lou.

Camera one.

Oh my God, we have company.

Oh, this is great.

Look, look at this.

Who created the golden kicks, Paco?

Let's go, now!

Who?!

For fuck sake, like father, like son.

You're on your own.

[Lou] Payaso.

Where are you, Payaso?

[Officer] What's the situation?

Well, there's two hostages and a kidnapper with a gun,

and his accomplished escaped through the emergency exit.

Where's that studio?

All the way down the hall and to the right.

Everyone stay here.

No one leaves.

[Officer] Lock this door.

Don't let anyone in.

[Betty] Lou, please.

I want everyone to see you and Betty

for what you really are.

Liars, users, thieves!

[Betty] Lou, please, calm down.

- [Paco yells] - [Lou grunting]

Paco!

- Shit! - [gunshot fires]

[♪]

Freeze!

[gunshots firing]

[haunting music]

[grunting]

[intense music]

- [Betty] Piss! - [gunshot]

- [intense music continues] - [grunting]

- Fuck! - [thudding]

Cunt!

[Lou groaning]

Cocksucker!

Motherfucker!

[thudding]

[haunting music]

[paper flapping]

[♪]

[Officer] Police!

Freeze!

Put your hands up!

[intense music]

Do it now!

[Both] And tits.

Our comedian clown duo get away with it again.

- [people chattering] - [cameras clicking]

[Reporter] Paco, do you have any new shoe designs?

[Betty] Hey, looking good, Mr. Sold Out Show.

Look at us.

Me performing a solo show in your own club.

[laughs]

I'm so proud of you, Betty,

and I never meant what I said

about owning a club full of loser comedians.

So, do you forgive me?

There's someone that I really want you to meet.

Sophie, this is Paco, my best friend.

Hi, it's nice to finally meet you.

Nice to meet you, Sophie.

Wow, I always imagine a little kid.

How old are you?

- Shut up. - [Sophie laughs]

- Hi mom. - Hi.

You two are the only celebrities I know in LA.

Can I have a selfie you with both of you?

Of course.

Of course I forgive you, loser.

[bell dinging]

Okay, we got a show to start.

Ready?

Let's go.

[upbeat music]

[whooshing]

[audience member] Woo!

[audience applauding]

Now, I have had the honor

of sharing the stage with this man.

I have had the honor of breaking the fuck up with this man.

[audience laughing]

Actually, it happened right back in this alley.

We're thinking of installing a plaque.

"In this place, Betty broke the fuck up with Paco."

You know.

He taught me the power of owning your own voice

because there truly is not anyone like you.

[audience] Aw.

And there is certainly no one like,

Paco Saavedra, ladies and gentlemen!

[audience applauding]

[audience] Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso,

Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso, Payaso!

[Paco] All right.

I know that you were expecting a clown here tonight,

and I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but you know,

clowns are forbidden to talk about sex,

and you all want to hear about sex, right?

- [audience chattering] - [audience laughing]

- [Paco speaking in Spanish] - [audience laughing]

Well, I'm sorry.

Tonight I'm gonna talk about my father.

We used to live together and it was tough.

You know, we had some good days, bad days,

and especially when money was low, you know,

we were struggling to figure out

whether they're buying his very expensive medicines

or treat ourself for a good meal.

Have you tried those tacos al pastor from Loteria Grill?

Ah!

My dad, I mean, come on.

That guy was amazing, I mean,

I have his nose.

I literally have his nose.

- That's how genes work. - [ball squeaks]

This nose was my dad's.

He made people laugh until the day he died.

His last words were, "Be positive."

That's nice.

If only we could have known his blood type,

we could have saved him.

[audience laughing]

In all seriousness, um,

my dad was a great man, a very wise person.

He told me that in life you love.

In life you suffer.

In life you struggle.

And in life you win.

Paco Saavedra Jr, fell in love, struggled, and finally won.

Thanks also to my beautiful soulmate, Miss Betty Kyle.

Thanks to her, I enter to this club,

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

[audience applauding]

I wanna dedicate this solo performance tonight to my dad

who is upstairs watching.

[Paco speaking in Spanish]

I promise to make people happy

and I'll always follow my nose.

[audience member] Yeah!

Right here, right now, anything is possible.

- [audience cheering] - [upbeat music]

♪ Feeling all right, feels so Good to be the clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feels so Right ♪

[singer singing in Spanish]

[♪]

[chiming]

♪ Clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feels so Good to be the clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feels so Right ♪

[upbeat music]

[singer singing in Spanish]

♪ Clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feels so Good to be the clown and out ♪

♪ Feeling all right, feels so Right ♪

[upbeat music]

[♪]

[♪]

[music ends]