Original subtitles

["Do Me" by V'ghn]

♪

- ♪ A life is a thing you can only live once ♪

♪ You can never live twice

♪ Just such is life, just feel that vibe ♪

- Is it on now?

Oh. - See the red?

- Mm-hmm.

Good morning, and welcome

to "Coffee Talk with Melissa and Kyle."

[jazzy music]

♪

[both chuckle]

We are forever bonded by being roommates.

- I know!

- I mean, we are showering together--

[thud] [gasps]

Holy [bleep].

[tense music]

That's Ramona. Just kidding.

[upbeat music]

- Oh, gosh, another day.

I'm just keeping my mouth shut all day.

It's like zip.

I'm gonna zip it, 'cause I just get into trouble.

♪

- Oh, we're so chipper and wonderful.

Did you do an interview last night?

- I did.

- I did a drunk interview last night.

Look at me.

- Oh, it's wine Melissa. My favorite Melissa.

- Oh, [bleep].

Okay, this is just a little public service announcement.

When I drink red wine, everybody's like,

"Oh, I don't want to drink wine tonight, we're gonna get tired.

"That's for when you're gonna have a nice dinner

and go home." Not me.

Uh-uh-uh. I drink red wine.

I fly like a kite. Tipsy Melissa.

Melissa mother-[bleep] Gorga. That's who I am.

When I drink wine, I'm so happy.

A lot of people fall asleep.

I get, like, very like, "Hey, y'all!"

I get like--like Kenya shade.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Well, are you at least having a nice time?

- I had a nice time. - Okay.

- I had to fuss somebody out yesterday

'cause she was just being very obnoxious.

- I want to be like her. I want to embrace my sexuality.

- That's a crock of [bleep]! - Oh, [bleep] you.

- Oh, [bleep] you, Nikki! - Ah!

- She had gotten out of line with me before,

and I let it go.

And I was actually really proud of myself for letting it go.

And then she did it again, and worse,

after getting to know me, and I just blew up on her, so--

- Yeah.

- Last night was a lot.

- I mean, I think that--

I think we said this last night too.

I think Cynthia was, like, reaching.

She was reaching a little with that conversation.

- Don't blame me for you being late.

That's wrong. - No, no, no. No.

You are the reason why I'm late.

She told you that she had to do my makeup.

- Then she should have booked.

- No, no, but she had to get her money from you.

- I mean, I don't know.

I just think five minutes, ten minutes, whatever it is,

is not gonna ruin anyone's night, but I already said--

- Well, like I said last night, maybe skip the lashes.

I don't know. Just a thought.

- Housewives in the island, baby!

[upbeat music]

♪ Housewives in the island, baby ♪

♪ So let the party start

♪ Them women beautiful as ever ♪

♪ The sun is hot, boy

♪ Are you ready, ha

♪ To move your body

♪ When the Caribbean rhythm touches ♪

♪ Ooh, that make ya go crazy

♪ Fever

♪ Feel it

♪ Can you feel the island fever? ♪

♪ Feel it, mon

♪ Fever

- I'm ready for breakfast.

- It's all the acidity in these margaritas, coffee.

Right? - Yeah.

- Hi, good morning.

- How are you? - How are you guys?

[contemplative music]

♪

- I'm not really sure why I've had

a struggle connecting with some of the ladies on this trip.

But I'm starting to be on my own island, on an island.

That's a bad feeling when you're on a girls trip,

so I wanted to bring it all back to the center,

try to become one with my feelings,

and try to change the energy, try to turn it around.

- Knock-knock. - Oh, good morning.

Oh, my God, that's so cute with the little zigs.

- Here you go, honey. - Oh, can I see it?

- Yeah. Can you open it? - Sure.

- 'Cause I gotta--like, they package them all nice.

- Ooh, I like it. White. - Oh, that one's pretty.

- Oh, I love this. I love it. Love it.

- I like that one. - No. I love it.

I love the color. - I love the color for you.

- Love the color. - Okay. Awesome.

- All right. Great. - Oh, my God, I love that one.

Okay, so you're good. - So what's the brand called?

- The Love Collection by Teresa Giudice.

- Okay, great. - Yeah.

And I feel bad that you got up and left last night.

I'm sorry. - I was just tired.

Like, I was putting my foot in my mouth.

I kept digging deeper,

and I was just tired and my stomach hurt.

I just thought it's just better for me to go to sleep.

- Good morning. How are you? - Good morning.

- Is that--it looks like a frittata?

- That's not--yeah. No carbs for you, my dear.

- No carbs for me. - It's perfect.

- You know, I gotta draw the line somewhere, but--

- Is this Pucci? - Yeah, it's an old one.

- Oh, it's so pretty. - Thank you.

It's an oldie, but a goodie.

- Mm-hmm. - So how are you doing?

- I'm good. Yeah.

- We haven't been able to talk, really,

because, you know, it's been all about the drama of Ramona.

- She [bleep] him the first night she met him.

- Wait a second. What did you just say?

- What did I just say? - What did you just say?

Um, actually want to thank you because I've realized

I'm so used to the behavior of Ramona,

I let things kind of pass, you know what I mean?

- Yeah. - And then being all together,

it's kind of now come to my attention...

- Forefront in your mind right now.

- You know, and now it's on my mind.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know, I have to just learn to shut my mouth.

- I mean, I'm like that too.

Sometimes I overreact. I do. You know?

- Right. Well, I appreciate that.

I feel like I'm so alone on the island right now.

- No, no. - But no, and it's--

I just, yeah. I just got emotional.

- I see why the other women fight with her so much.

But I feel like Ramona's kind of lonely.

And listen, I guess if you're lonely and sad about your life,

then sometimes you take it out on the people closest to you.

- Hey, good morning, Ramona.

Good morning. - Can I come in?

- Yeah, sure, Michael. How are you today?

- Hi, Teresa. How are you? - Hi, Michael. How are you?

- I'm wonderful. How's everyone doing?

- Oh, what-- how far is the beach

that we're going to today from here?

- How far is it from here? - Yeah.

- It's probably about a 10-15-minute drive.

- Okay, so we're gonna have, I think, paddleboards

and stuff like that? both: Yes.

We have paddleboards and some activities and everything.

It's really lovely. I've got an itinerary for you.

- You're gonna bring your camera, and you're gonna

take photographs of everyone, right?

- Yeah. I'm sort of excited about that.

- Tonight we have John's party.

- Yeah, we have the dinner party, which will be nice.

- Awesome.

- Are you on the plane?

- Yeah. - Oh, yay.

I can't believe I get to see you tonight.

- I can't wait to see you.

I don't know where I'm going, but I guess I'll find out.

- We have the agency here in Turks and Caicos,

so my husband had to go visit their office,

and he just conveniently timed it for when I happened

to be in Turks and Caicos. He misses me.

I will text you.

We're going to Ramona's friend's house.

And if you have a white shirt,

I think they kind of want us to wear white.

But if I don't like my white outfit,

if it doesn't fit right,

I'm gonna have to break the rules.

And Ramona breaks all the rules, so she'll have to deal.

[chuckles]

- Good morning, everyone. How are you?

- Good morning. Good. How are you?

- I am feeling great. Had a good night's sleep.

And that's a frittata?

Smells delicious. What kind of frittata is it?

- Asparagus and mushroom. - Yum! Looks great.

Good morning.

How are you?

- What do you want, Ramona?

- It's a new day. New day, new start.

Have frittatas ready,

and, um,

I'm sorry that I made your makeup late.

That wasn't my intention.

I like Cynthia, and I can tell she was genuinely upset,

so even though I don't think I did anything wrong,

and because I care about her as a friend,

I have to apologize for making her upset.

I'm sorry that it was delayed for you.

I really am.

- I know I was upset about it last night.

And I'm just, like-- I feel like, you know,

we just keep going back and forth.

I was just tired, and that just kind of set me off,

and you know, the lady was--

like, the interview just-- it just--and then I was late.

You know, I have a thing about respect and being late.

- No, I know. You're on time. I'm, like, on time too.

- It just threw me off, and-- - I get it.

I mean, I didn't even get my hair done,

because I didn't want to be late,

and you know, you had the appointment,

and I delayed it even further.

- I'm tired of the bad behavior,

and I'm not gonna let her get away with it anymore.

I am not gonna let that B--

- Because if you're saying-- if you're vouching for someone

being a good person-- - Right.

- But then where's the good person?

- I know.

- I'm trying to find it.

I prayed about it.

I just feel reset and rebooted, and I don't want to,

you know, just keep going back and forth with you.

I appreciate you. - I appreciate that.

- But I genuinely do like you, Ramona.

- Today's a new day. Restart. I appreciate that.

- All right. Give me a hug.

I'm really trying to... - Okay. I--

- Come with some different energy today.

- Okay. I want only positive energy.

We'll have a fun day at the beach.

- Yeah. - Morning. Good--I love this.

- Oh, you look so cute. - Sorry.

I just want to tell her I like my outfit.

- Yeah, it looks good. - You look great.

- What are you guys talking about?

- I was telling Teresa, I'm kind of used

to the bad behavior. I--you know?

- I felt bad that she left last night.

- I know. - On herself because--

- Hey, ladies, I have to make a phone call.

- Problem with Ramona is, it's really sad to watch

because she is obviously very unhappy.

- She is. - And sad.

- I feel for her in that way, I do.

- I feel for her too. - She's lonely.

- I'm sympathetic. Lonely?

- Do you know what she said to me that made me almost cry?

- She's sad. both: What?

- She said, "Yeah I'm gonna stay

a couple more days in Turks and Caicos.

You know, I have my girlfriend coming,"

and I said, "Yeah? You want to stay longer?"

She goes, "What am I going home to?

Nothing." - She has nothing.

- And I was like, my heart-- like, I don't--

- You're heartsick. - You know?

It's true, you're going home to an empty house.

- And what she said yesterday is like, you know,

"Why does she always like you?"

It was sad to me. - Yeah.

- It was like reaching out for help almost, you know?

- It is. - And I feel bad.

- I'm not giving her an excuse at all, but it is sad.

- I just really had to sleep on it, you know?

I've grown, and I just wish the same for her.

It's taken, you know, this trip and all of you girls to, like,

make me see that her bad behavior

is not acceptable, you know?

And that's my bad that I put up with it all this time.

Like, that's not gonna [bleep] happen anymore.

That's done, okay? I'm done.

[dramatic music]

- ♪ Yo-o-o-o! Warm today ♪

♪ Yo-o-o-o! Warm today, today! ♪

- What do I do with this thing? Should I tuck it in?

- Guys, let's go!

- Let's shake a leg. - Okay.

- Okay, so one, two, three, four, five, six.

So we're just Kenya.

Okay, Kenya, we'll meet you in the car, all right?

- Kenya!

- Hi, how you doing?

- Can I get back there? - You want to get in?

Yeah. Hold on one second.

- It's okay. I'll go with you. - What's the matter?

- I don't think she wants to be

right there right now. - Oh, I don't care.

- Who wants to go in the back?

Oh, [bleep]. How are we gonna do that?

- Oh, you want me to get out?

This is--I thought this was the three-seater one,

and there was a four-seater one?

- How about if I go in the back with Ramona?

- What about my seat? - I don't care.

- Yeah. We're swapping. - Thank you, babe.

[upbeat music]

♪

- I have.

- How much do you charge for yours?

- 125. - Yeah, me too.

- I've got 30 right now that I have to do.

- Oh, my goodness!

- Look at this. - That's a lot.

- Pending? What?

Money can't buy you class,

but Luann is cleaning up on Cameo.

Six figures.

I'd be over in a corner doing my Cameos too.

- You need to up your price then.

- No, but you know what?

The minute I up my price, I get less, so...

- I was gonna say.

- I do volume, you know, 'cause I don't charge as much.

- How long have you been on there?

A year and a half? - Two--two. About two years.

- Girl, I mean, that'll pay for this house I'm looking at.

- Yeah, that's what I'm saying, you know, it's very--

- That's crazy. - Yeah.

- I took an allergy pill, and now I can't open my eyes.

- No. It said non-drowsy.

- I'm taking a little nap just while we drive there.

- All right. Go ahead. - We all hit a wall.

- I think we're all over-tired. Even I'm getting tired.

- And I haven't had a chance to kind of reboot and reset.

Kyle, I'm actually glad you ended up in the car

because I just wanted to share with you

that last night when I left the dinner,

I just felt like my energy just was off.

And I don't know if I'm just exhausted,

but I was like, "What is wrong with me?"

Like, I'm acting like a crazy person.

How do I keep being in this little funk with Kyle?

Who is the prettiest?

- Oh, this feels weird. - You can say, "You know what?

"I pick Cynthia because...

- I would never say that, though.

- "Not only is she beautiful on the outside,

she's beautiful on the inside."

- I don't know. I couldn't do that.

- Don't blame me, you being late.

That's wrong. Sorry. - No, no, no. No.

You are the reason why I'm late.

- Guys, will all due respect, like,

you know, we can say it because she took five minutes,

but, like, you went without lashes.

It's not like, you know-- it can't be only about that.

- And then when I woke up this morning I just prayed,

and I was like--I think,

and I'm so mortified to say this, but--

- What? Now you woke me up. This is getting interesting.

- I know.

I'm a little jealous that you and Kenya have hit it off.

I came here with her being my friend,

and you guys have hit it off, and it's so great to watch.

But then it just, like,

started to make me a little jealous, and I--

- Aw... - I hate to admit that.

But I love you, I receive you,

and I would like to just reset the button and restart.

I really want to leave this island...

- Reset. - On a good note with you.

- It does take a lot to admit.

You know, I think I felt, you know, jealous, whatever,

So I thank you.

I appreciate Cynthia's apology,

and I'm more than happy to move on.

Do I think that Cynthia and I are gonna be great friends?

Probably not. She's just not that fun.

- Kenya, when it was volleyball day, said to me,

"Cynthia's a little, like, mad or jealous

that you and I are friends."

- She feels like you and I are super cliquey.

- Really?

- She said it to me when we were on the boat.

- No, she did not! - Yes, she did.

- She said that, and I just never said it to you,

but that's not the case actually, right?

- Well, that's actually not true.

In your case... - Okay, yeah.

- To be honest with you,

I really hadn't really thought about you.

- I was wondering about-- - If it was bothering you.

- I was the one that was pushing--

- Maybe she makes it up, 'cause she said that to me.

- Now, that's some bull-[bleep],

and I'm hurt that Kenya

would make that up and tell that to Melissa.

I've just never had to fight for Kenya's attention before.

- Got it.

- Because in our group of girls,

like, she doesn't have that many friends.

Stuff like this is why Kenya and I

are in the situation we're in now.

I will say, on this trip,

I have not really hung out

with you or spent any time with you.

With everybody else, like, I feel like

I've kind of gotten to know,

but I haven't really had, like, any one-on-one time with you.

- Yeah. I know. - It just hasn't happened.

- And you know what, Cynthia?

Maybe I stayed away a little bit, too,

because once Kenya said that to me, I was like,

"I don't want to, like, get in there too much."

I feel like I'm not doing that purposely though.

- Yeah. - So that makes me feel bad,

'cause I really feel like...

- No. That's okay. - I knew you well coming into--

- I mean, I don't honestly know why she said that.

- No, I mean feel bad that you're saying

we haven't spent time together. I want to spend time together.

- Yeah, and I mean, I know.

- All right, well then, let's make an effort to spend

a little time together today and tomorrow.

- Yeah, yeah, I mean, I don't want to force anything...

- Okay.

- I don't think Melissa and Cynthia

are gonna be friends in two days.

I think that friend ship has sailed.

[upbeat music]

♪

[upbeat music]

♪

- ♪ My girl's on it, make your way to the bar ♪

♪ Oh, she told me she wanna drink with a star ♪

- Rock and roll time. - Okey-dokey.

- Hi, Michael. - How you doing?

- Oh, my God.

Did you bring a flat, just in case?

- I mean, look at me with these shoes.

- Oh, you and me both. We're hilarious.

- Yeah, I'm changing my shoes.

- At some point, whenever you're ready,

I'd like to just talk to you on the side.

- Yeah, well, I've been wanting to talk to you too.

- I was sick this morning, so I would have come to your room.

- Well, we'll talk.

- Welcome, welcome. - Hello, Michael.

- How you doing? - Oh, these are so pretty.

- Oh, my God, with our names on it.

- Isn't this cute? - Oh, no.

We all need to hold it like our peach.

- This is it right here, the--

- She's not here yet. - Exactly, that's a shot.

- Michael can take the photos. - Yes!

- Okay. Are you ladies ready?

- Make sure your names are showing.

- So on "three, I want everyone

to just put the coconuts forward.

One, two, three.

Oh, my God. Amazing. That's lovely.

Let's just start right there.

Oh, my God. You are a pro.

Okay, Miss Luann, what have you got?

Oh, look out! Oh, my goodness. Hold on.

Stay down. That's really sexy.

Pop your bum out, a little bit.

- To get a good Insta photo, keep your chin down,

and that makes your eyes open.

- Like, give me, like, a smile. Like, a really happy smile.

Maybe not with, like, your legs open, but yeah.

That's a little nicer.

That is beautiful, so just--

- Stick your chest out, but suck your stomach in,

and of course, you have to give them that curve

that everyone likes to see.

- I like the mystique. I like--yeah.

That just looks expensive.

Yeah, lie down, that's nice.

Can you maybe put one leg up, a little bit?

Try the other one. Try the other leg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- [sighs] - Yes, arm up. I love that.

- Oh, Lord.

Lordy, Lordy, this lady. [laughs]

- Ugh, I'm not in the mood to take photos.

- Tilt your head up a little bit for me.

- Ramona is. [chuckles]

I'm just being honest here.

My bathing suit is ruining my vibe.

It only looks cute with my dress,

and with everything else off, it's not.

I'm not feeling myself today.

I'm not posing in a bathing suit.

What is this? "Sports Illustrated"?

I don't think so.

- What is that? - Oh, my God.

See, like, I'm--I can't breathe.

- All right. I'll go. - I will.

- No, Lu's going. - I'll go.

- All right, so what's the point of this?

Do I want to roll across the water?

- No problem. - [laughs] No problem.

Can I get a blowout while I'm in here?

- Maybe.

- You're gonna get a blowout, all right.

[air hissing]

Look--look at her. It's your Beyoncé moment.

Yes. Bring it. - Oh, my God.

- [voice echoing] This is so weird!

- Oh, yes.

- She knows how to work a ball. You know what I mean, ladies?

Yes! Now, hamster it for me. Hamster it.

- Look at that sexy hamster. - Show me gerbil.

Show me gerbil. - Oh, sh--

- Oh! Hold her. - Oh, she's doing good.

- Oh, that's good. - Wait. Luann.

I didn't say I was gonna do it.

- Wait. Wait. - I have a mic, I have a mic.

[laughter] - [bleep] the hell?

What'd I just step on? - This is amazing! I love it.

I do love a good roll in the hay,

so why not a hamster wheel?

- Yes, yes! - Oh!

- Oh, hold it. Oh, my God.

[laughter] - Yes! That's how you do it.

- [voice echoing] Oh, God. Wow.

- I may go paddleboarding. - Okay.

- Want to get a drink? - I do want to get a drink.

What should we get?

- I want you to take your glasses off.

- Take them off?

- Yeah, 'cause I like your face.

- I have no, like, real makeup on today.

- No, but you don't need it.

- Can we have tequila on the rocks?

- Sure. - That's the one.

- Oh, yes. - [laughs]

- That one, to me, is really pretty.

- Au revoir! - Au revoir.

- One, two, three. [shutter snaps]

Right there. Beautiful. You good?

- Yeah, I'm good, I have to have the talk with Ramona, so--

- Yeah, and for me, that was just, like, a reset.

I'm gonna enjoy the rest of my trip.

And I'm not gonna get... - I mean, it's your right.

- Taken out of my energy.

Like, last night, I completely just checked out.

- Yeah.

Now I'm just trying to figure out, what is wrong with me?

Like, what has happened to me?

Like, why am I so upset?

And the only thing I can think of

is I'm in a very weird space with Kenya right now.

She has done a lot of things that really hurt me.

- I don't want to diss her game, but sexiest?

- It's marginalizing us. - Yes, but--

- I just wanted to say, last night, for my Bailey Q...

What are you doing?

- Oh, just rinsing my feet off.

- Hi. Can I come in? What's wrong?

Shut the door.

Will you shut the--I don't-- just I don't want to--

- Oh, rum punch.

- Well, that's exactly what I would like to order, as well.

- You had the rum punch? - Rum punch. Yes, please.

- We are at the end of the trip.

Like, one day left.

I'm not really sure

where our friendship stands,

and I'm afraid because I don't think it will ever be the same.

- [laughs]

- ♪ To where the sun gets our skin ♪

♪ Yeah, she rollin' sweet, oh ♪

- Beautiful. That's amazing. Yes.

- Oh, my God!

- Ah! - Get out of my way!

- Oh, [bleep]. - Oh, that's a drink holder.

- Michael!

- Ay-yi-yi.

- Mikel. - Hold on.

- The wind is very strong to come back.

- Look at Ramona. I think she's stuck.

- Oh, my God.

I am literally only in water up to my knees.

- I told you! I don't know why you wore that thing.

- Seriously. I look like a fool.

Michael, there's only two feet of water!

- I can't do anything about the depth in the ocean.

- Seriously? - I'm dead.

- Ridiculous.

- Michael! - Yes?

- When you're done with Cynthia, I took my vest off

so I can get a better picture on the paddleboard.

- Okay.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Look at Ramona posing. - [laughs]

- Ahh! - Whoo!

[laughter]

- [cheering] - Oh, my God.

Look at what they're doing to her!

What did they do to her?

Meliss, they knocked into her. That's mean.

- Oh, no, they did not.

I don't think Ramona has ever dealt with anyone

like Kenya before.

Poor Ramona. Now I feel bad.

- So ladies, you have a look at the menu.

When you know what you want to order,

we'll have one of the servers come over and take that order.

We're gonna sort of do a bit of a tapas-style...

- Okay. - Dining.

- Thank you so much. - Hey, Ramona, come.

Let's go in here. It's too hot.

- Ah! Sorry.

- ♪ Melissa, Melissa, Melissa ♪

♪ She is the prettiest girl I've seen ♪

♪ Melissa, Melissa, Melissa, Melissa ♪

♪ Don't even try to say you're the king ♪

- Let me start please. - All right. You start.

- Okay.

You know, every day, I say,

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things

"I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...

- Mm-hmm.

- And the wisdom to know the difference."

I know I can't change you.

And the apologies are just the same they've been for years.

- So Bethenny, I guess I came across rude.

I just was hot and bothered and hungry.

I'm sorry, so I'ma toast with water.

- All right. - What about me?

- Oh, you don't count. Bethenny counts right now.

- Oh, right.

- Carol, I'm sorry that you were offended.

You know, you're [bleep] some 28-year-old.

- This is your apology, Ramona? - No.

Luann, I wasn't even invited to the wedding,

so let's call a spade a spade.

- I knew it. I knew what I heard.

That she calls Tom... - You know what?

- To get invited. Then it was like--

- I texted you. - You know what?

You didn't invite me to the wedding, so--

- You knew it was a bad call. You knew it was a bad call.

- And I am so sorry...

- Yeah. It was a bad call. - Yeah, but--

- What you did yesterday was just continued bad behavior,

and I feel like I'm there for you, as a friend,

and I always have been. I don't--

I don't remember any--ever doing anything bad towards you

that would have you behave the way you have towards me.

You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, I'm listening to you.

- What is that there? Yummy bread?

- This is called bread and butter.

- [laughs]

- Kyle, I know you don't know about this.

It is the fruit of the Earth.

- [British accent] Oh, you know, we don't

have that in Beverly Hills.

We don't eat bread and butter.

- [laughs]

- Through all the women, I've realized

this bad behavior is not acceptable.

I've given you a pass for so many years,

but I'm not gonna do it anymore.

I can't continue a friendship

being treated the way you treat me.

I'm fed up.

- Well, I know I disappointed you.

I'm disappointed, myself,

because the last thing I wanted to do

was upset you or hurt you.

Certain things I just shouldn't have said.

It wasn't my business to say, and that was wrong, and, uh--

- Don't say, "I'm sorry." - I'm not saying I'm sorry.

I said I disappointed you.

- Please don't, 'cause I'm not looking for a sorry.

- I'm not saying I'm sorry.

- Okay, good. - I do care about you.

And I love the way that we have gotten closer.

And the fact I disappointed you upsets me.

Maybe I need some-- have to work on myself,

at why I say things that are hurtful to other people.

And I need to delve. I need to delve into myself.

- I think you need to do a deep dive

into the things that are issues for you.

And, you know, I have so much sympathy

'cause I think you're really going through something.

You're drinking more than you usually do,

which is not like you. - Right.

- And you're not handling as well as you normally do.

- Absolutely. - I hope you're hearing me.

- I'm hearing you loud and clear.

- I hope we can move on,

and I just want to see a real change.

- So I know exactly what you're saying, and I hear you,

and I'm really--you know,

you worked on yourself tremendously,

and I need to do some work on myself, absolutely.

- I don't feel angry with Ramona.

I have sympathy for her

because I feel like she's a little lost right now,

and that's when you need your friends.

- Thank you. I know you [indistinct].

- I hope she can evolve and grow,

and if not, you know, I don't know

if we can have a friendship.

I just want you to be good.

- Right, well, I'm not gonna drink today, until tonight.

- I really want you to be good, and I care about you,

so I just want you to know that.

- Okay, and I care about you. - Okay, let's have lunch.

- You guys, this is delicious. - All right.

- How's the food? - Amazing.

How was the talk? [laughter]

- The talk is good because I really disappointed Luann.

Everything I did last night was a betrayal

and not right and not what a friend should do.

So obviously there's something in me I need to work on

to make myself a better person.

- Everybody is innately a good person,

and sometimes they make mistakes.

Ramona just happens to make more than most people.

- It's just very hard for her to play nice.

- She's not going to change.

- Luann's done a lot of work for herself,

and she's changed tremendously.

And so yeah, so that's the story.

- Ramona needs a little bit more yoga in her life

and more sex.

And then she will be chill.

- So we'll see.

- Time will tell. It always does.

- Moving on. - Yeah.

- I get to see my husband tonight.

- Kyle, if I would have known, I would have brought Louie.

You should have told me.

- Well, he actually had to come here for business.

- Lucky you. You're gonna get lucky tonight.

- You have sex at dinner parties,

so if we see you sitting on his lap tonight--

- You guys, that was also when I was younger.

- Show us how it went down, will you? Please.

- So it's like this.

Let me just go over, and, honey,

I just want to come sit on your lap for a minute.

- Ew! - Ooh, darling.

- And he took it out of his zipper?

- Yeah. - What?

- I was like, "Oh, my dress is bothering me. Oh."

- Oh, so you were like-- - Ahh!

- I don't want to see this. - So you were like dancing?

And you were like-- - ♪ Ba da, ba da

- Oh, my God. - So much fun.

We're all having so much fun. - I'm dancing with you, baby.

- Right. - I love it.

- And then I was like, "Okay. I'm done."

[laughter]

- I love it.

[upbeat music]

- Maybe I should wear this. I don't know.

- That's sexy. I love that,

But let me see what everyone-- - Yeah.

Let me show you white shorts, then you tell me.

- Okay. - Okay.

Let's check in in a minute.

- Oh, look at how cute.

- Lips, powder, under eye. Check, check, check.

- It's hot in this hall.

Hi.

So you think you'll be ready by 7:30? Please, please?

- Is everybody else ready?

- Yeah. - Are you serious?

- No, no, but you can be ready in 15 minutes.

Okay, which one do you want for your eyes?

- Oh, okay. Which one?

Maybe that so it's not so much?

- Fine. - I don't know.

Which one do you think I should wear?

Do you like that? - Very dramatic.

All right, so we'll see you in ten minutes.

- All right, I gotta hurry up. My God.

- Melissa, will you be ready in ten minutes?

- How do I look? - Ooh, what is that?

- Ooh, look at you.

- Your hands are like ice. - Sorry.

- I am not putting this on. - Oh, come on, it's fun.

- No. You know what I will do?

I'll put them right here for you.

- All right. Fine,

But make sure to put it just by your eye,

'cause you know what, everyone was in such a good mood today.

And don't you--look at me-- when you look at me,

don't you smile when you see this on my face?

- I do. You just look so joyous with that on.

Yes to cutouts on a dress. No to crystals on the face.

Not fashionable. Not in this decade.

- What did Joey say to you?

- I'm good.

- Hey, Kenya, can I come in, for a quick second?

- Oh, sure. - Okay, great.

So I thought this'd be kind of fun

for everyone to wear if you're in the mood to do it.

I think they're all beautiful.

- Oh. Hmm.

- I'll give you this, if you want to put it on the side

or something. - Oh, okay.

- And if--you know, you'll decide.

- All right. - I know we all want

to look good, and you're looking glam,

as always, and beautiful.

So do you think you'll be ready, like, by 7:30?

- Probably 7:45. No later than that.

- Okay. - Okay, thank you.

- Thank you.

- Ramona's being just as fake as the crystal on her forehead.

The only reason that she cares what time I'm going to be ready

is because she needs to know

how quickly she's going to be seeing her fake boyfriend John.

- All right. Well, I'm the only one ready.

This is so crazy.

All right, girls. We're being rude to John.

- I'll be ready in two minutes.

Tell him he can [bleep] wait. - I love you,

and I will see you, in a little bit.

Bye, honey.

- Hi. - Gorgeous.

- Hi.

Where is everyone?

- It's weird because, you know, I'm too old for this,

but, like, how am I sitting over here

jealous of these folks?

- Beautiful. - Thank you.

- Your husband's... - You look gorgeous.

- Gonna be so happy to see you. - Thank you.

- Watching them like, "Oh, yeah.

"Your hair looks so cute. Oh, my God. I love your dress.

Oh, my God, let's go have avocado toast together."

I just feel, like, a little jealous.

Like, I want to go with them and have avocado toast.

- All right, girls. Second-to-last night.

- Unbelievable.

- How far away is this place?

We gotta go chase Ramona's crush all the time.

- I had a fancier dress,

but, like, I heard it's like a beach, right?

- Yeah. - Well, it's a beachy--?

- For some reason, he was very, very firm on this,

that he wanted it outside.

- Maybe he thinks we're gonna throw stuff?

- No, no, no. He just likes his beach.

I'm feeling really good.

I definitely feel Cynthia and I can leave

as good friends now,

and I believe Luann accepted my apology.

- I don't really care anymore.

- Thank you so much.

This is pretty. - Landscaping.

- What are these beams?

- It's like, can you find the house?

- No, that's not funny.

- I'm scared.

- I feel like we're--

- It's like a treehouse or something.

Wow.

- Oh, wow. This is cute.

- Oh, hey. How are you? You guys snuck in.

- How are you? - Nice to see you.

- Welcome. - Good to see you again.

Thank you so much for having us.

- Oh, my pleasure. - Hi, John. How are you?

- Very good. Hey.

- Good to see you. - Hi. How are you?

- I like your dress. I like it. - Thank you. Good to see you.

- Good to see you. - Thank you for having us.

- Oh, my pleasure. - This is my husband, Thorn.

- Hello. This is John's bachelor pad.

- Hi. - How are you?

- Hi. Nice to meet you again.

- Hey, how are you? - Look at the sparkles.

- Do you like it? - I love it.

- I can be festive. You want some sparkles too?

- Ramona, no one wants those face crystals.

- Hi, Ramona.

- Anyr. - Anyr, lovely to meet you.

If you're in the mood, you can have one of these,

if you want to wear one. - So cute! Thank you.

- Wow. This is pretty.

- This is so nice. - Oh, wow, look at this beach!

- Yeah, how pretty.

- I've had the property a long time,

and then I built the house sort of--

but it's just me and my dogs, and I'm from a big family,

so I have a lot of people visit.

- Oh, nice.

John is a staple of the Turks and Caicos.

He's got his restaurant. He's got his beautiful home.

He's got a great body, and there's plenty of women

that would like to be with John, including Ramona,

and I'm not so sure about that

because there is no look of love in that guy's eyes.

There just isn't.

- Cheers. Thank you... - Cheers.

- For cohosting with me.

The setting is prettier than I imagined.

I know you sent me some photos, but it doesn't do it justice.

It is a very special place.

- Well, come see it in the daytime sometimes.

- No, I will.

I like your conch selection, right?

Those are the conches?

- Have you ever blown a "conk" horn?

- Cock.

- No, "conk." - C-O-N-C--conch.

There's an N in there.

- Conch.

- You wait here. I do have one.

- Oh, boy.

John has an amazing conch selection,

named after the conch shack.

He's gonna blow the horn--

- You've never been here before?

- No. - Blow what horn?

- What does "blow a horn" mean? - The conch horn.

- Oh, people do that?

[conch horn wails]

all: Wow.

- That's like a shofar. We do that in temple.

- Does that mean dinner's ready?

- Hi, girls. - Hi.

- Oh, hey.

- How are you? - Hi.

- Look what the cat dragged in. How you doing?

- How are you? - You look so handsome.

- How's it going?

Ah, are you guys having gone-- are you good?

- I think it's really cute that Mauricio stopped in.

It's actually making me miss Joe right now.

I wish he could just pop in magically for a little dinner.

- All right. - Let's all go for dinner.

- Should we... - Yeah. Why don't we--

- Head down to the beach for dinner?

- Yeah. - Awesome.

- Lead the way.

- Ah, good. The bar's set up.

- Hey, we don't mess around here.

I gotta make sure the caterer stocked a full bar down here.

- Can we be best friends for the rest of time?

- Of course we can! Forever and ever.

- I'm gonna find you a nice Jersey boy.

- Forever and ever.

- And how about a nice Italian boy? No?

- Wow, John. Very impressive. Your own private beach?

- It's true. - So are you seating people?

- It's seated. Yeah. The caterer seated it.

- Oh, you already seated it? Oh, cool.

- Yeah. The caterer did it all. - Oh, okay.

- So I don't even know where he put everybody,

to tell you the truth. I just saw Ramona.

Oh, do you see your name? - Oh, I'm right here.

- Okay. - Well, there you go.

- I love Ramona's taken over the hostess seat,

right next to John

and, like, answering John's questions for him.

- What kind of water for you guys?

- Oh, sure, I would love flat water,

and I think he'd like sparkling.

- Which is so Ramona.

♪

- Oh, thank you. It looks delicious.

- I think the setting is-- - The setting is phenomenal.

- This island is beautiful. - Right?

- Everything we've done, the backdrop has been--

- Extraordinary? - Oh, yeah.

- It's really beautiful.

- Your wife was in a bubble today.

- Oh, my goodness.

- You know those balls like a hamster's in, and they roll?

They put us in one today.

- Don't go too far! - Well, don't let go of that!

- Okay. I'm not letting go.

Look, it's tied to my waist. I got you, girl.

- Do I go anywhere, or I just keep doing this?

- Your wife is hilarious. I love her.

- We're having fun.

- She's always up to, like, a good time.

- I love that you joined in on the, um, the party with that.

I just stuck something right here.

- No. I love these things.

- I think you were the only one that--oh, no.

Cynthia did them too.

- Yeah. Cynthia has them I think.

- What is that?

- You have to go out past the-- - What do you need?

[indistinct]

- So I want to thank John for allowing us to do this.

Thank you, John.

- Oh, my pleasure. Thank you for coming.

- Thank you for co-hosting this with me, I appreciate.

The place is even prettier and more beautiful

than you described. Seriously, it's magical.

This is special.

- Like, so you own all of this? - Three acres.

- Oh, so beautiful. Yeah.

- I would never leave here. Ever.

- No children. Never been married.

Living on an island.

I mean, I think you are the epitome

of what men wish they would have done.

- Yeah.

- So what is the right woman for you?

Like, what's your type?

What are you looking for? What's the right woman for you?

- I don't know that I'm looking for anything,

'cause I'm happy with what I--I mean I love--

- Yeah. - I love--

- What would you like to fall in--

- Intelligence, intelligence. - Mm-hmm.

- You know, beauty fades, but you know--

- So Luann is very intelligent, and obviously,

she's very funny, so do you have a physical type?

- Poor John. - Don't put him on the spot.

He's a host. I mean-- - Well, let's see.

- We're having a conversation. - Let's do this.

Does he like blondes or brunettes?

- Ay-yi-yi.

- I feel bad for Ramona 'cause I know she likes John,

but, see, this is the thing.

You can't keep poking the bear because when you poke the bear,

you never know how the bear's gonna react.

Ramona went for Kenya a lot of times.

"Oh, they're a bitch," and you know, "[bleep] you,"

and now Kenya's like, "[bleep] you."

- I've spent some time with you guys, and you know,

a couple--and I was expecting a little more drama, and--

and you guys all seem to like each other,

and it's really refreshing and nice. No, I mean--

- I'm gonna do the Heimlich on Ramona.

- You weren't paying attention. - All right.

Apparently, I wasn't.

- There were moments. Don't get it twisted.

- I do like everyone, but we had some moments.

- Since the beginning of the trip.

- You should have seen what happened

on the yacht the other day.

- What happened on the yacht the other day?

- Oh, it was nuts. - Oh.

- We both want to hear.

- Do we have to repeat stories? - Yeah.

- We're all on such a good page here.

- Oh, my God.

- We had a crazy idea.

- Do we have to really talk about it right now? Really?

- They were talking about Ramona tried to blackmail...

- Actually, no, it's not true,

and you're wrong. - Luann.

- I would never blackmail anyone, so...

- And then what else?

- Why are you making up lies, Kenya?

- What else happened? - Oh, my gosh.

[dramatic music]

- They were talking about... [laughs]

Ramona tried to blackmail Luann.

- Actually, no. It's not true.

Why are you making up lies, Kenya?

- What else happened? - Oh, my gosh.

- It's almost like when you're at, like,

dinner with your children, and you're grinding your teeth,

and you're like, "You better behave."

Ramona was like, "Girls, we're gonna behave nicely.

We're at my friend's house,"

and then Kenya's like, "Yeah, no. We're actually not."

- I got cursed at, and then, you know,

she told me to [bleep] off.

And then there was crying and running around,

and it was like, "Oh, my God. Okay."

Well, she was looking like she was crying,

but there were actually no tears coming out of her eyes.

- Wow. - It's an interesting story.

- And I love you, too, Kenya. - Yeah. It's a lot.

- Cheers to Kenya.

- I don't think you do. - Yeah. It was kinda--

- 'Cause she said, "[bleep] you" to me

and "[bleep] off."

[tense music]

- Do you really think this is the right time and place?

- Yeah, it was that. - You need that much drama now?

- We were talking about things that happened, so--

- We're at a beautiful man's dinner.

I'm hosting it.

- You're having a great time, right, John?

- Yeah, but I want everyone to be happy, too, right?

- We're happy. We're laughing. - I thought we were all happy.

I thought we were having a great day.

- We're happy and laughing.

- Who in the world is totally happy?

- What does "happy" mean? - I don't know.

- What is this thing you call happy?

- I'm actually embarrassed because John

and our other guests do not need to hear this.

This is not proper dinner conversation,

and this is really low, even for Kenya.

- I'm just playing with everybody.

- And Luann, right now, is just a little bystander.

Not saying, "Hey, Kenya, stop. Not good conversation."

Miss "Manners." Miss "Etiquette."

[laughter]

Please don't tell me no.

- You, you, you, you. - Go, now. Go, now.

- But we have to do it, in any case.

Just for the fun of it. - Just for the fun of it.

- Let's razz her.

Little flirting with John, and give Ramona a little razz.

That's what I'm looking for.

Giving her the medicine she probably needs.

Oh, I have my opportunity. - Yes. Do it.

- This situation reminds me of that movie "Carlito's Way."

- Oh, pretty. - That's so beautiful!

Remember, he's trying to escape.

He's trying to get on the train with the love of his life,

and the guy calls his name, and said, "Remember me?"

And then shoots him right there.

- Oh, we're going to have to do some s'mores, John.

- Yes, we are.

- Do you have any? Marshmallows too?

- Kenya is Benny Blanco.

- Chocolate, marshmallow. - Graham crackers.

- Ramona's not gonna make it out of this dinner

with the love of her life, the way it's going.

- Can't handle this part.

She's running right in on her man.

- Are you from Toronto or-- that's right.

Oh, awesome.

- I used to take my hoops off for [bleep] like that.

- I grew up in Toronto. My family's from Toronto.

My mom was from Toronto. - Look at her.

- She can't take it. - Aw...

- I love Toronto. - Does it hurt?

- Toronto's one of the best places ever.

- Can you believe it? I've never been to Toronto.

Gonna have to come and visit.

- I think I need to go to the ladies' room.

- The two Canadians look pretty damn good together.

- Toronto is, like, an amazing city.

I really think it's the most international city,

in the world.

- Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation,

but I'm gonna go to the ladies' room.

So I just go right up, and what bathroom do I use?

- You can go-- - By the kitchen? Don't they--

- No, no. Don't go all the way up.

There's one right here.

- Where? - Right there.

No. Toronto's amazing. It's like...

- Lu, where's the ladies' room?

- Ramona, come-- - I don't know where to go!

- Try the path, Ramona.

- Can you show me the ladies'--okay.

Someone will escort me. Thank you. Thank you.

- I understand Kenya being upset with Ramona,

but I would rather see her pushing her off the paddleboard

than doing what she's doing right now with John.

- Where did Cynthia's go? - It feels bad,

and I don't think anybody is not noticing that.

- It's hard to be mean when somebody's actually being nice.

- Not only that.

- She likes him, and she's having a good time.

Like, she's probably been looking forward...

- And we don't want to be--

- To this night the whole night,

and then that's when it turns into, like--

- Instead of making me feel bad, it only--

- No.

I don't like, "Like, okay. Let's just be mean now."

- Oh, the s'mores must have arrived,

'cause those girls love s'mores.

- Can I be honest about what we were just talking about?

- Sure. - We were feeling bad

about the whole thing that just happened at the table.

- Why would she bring this up now in front of our host?

- Because You have underlying issues you haven't resolved.

- But you don't do it at a dinner.

At a seated dinner. - Okay, I understand that.

- It's called time and place. Wrong.

- That's why you guys have to talk.

- From the moment I met her, she always was saying

antagonistic things to me.

And she tried to push my buttons,

and I usually am pretty good about gut feelings.

Like, I see her having fun with you,

and we're laughing, and we're snorting.

- I see her... - [laughing] Snorting.

- Kind of over by Kyle, like I don't want her to have fun.

- Why are they snorting, over there, having a good time?

- But she's like--I feel like she's even resentful

that I'm bonding with-- whether it's you or you

or her or her.

I don't need to feel bad about myself.

Like, she'll say I do A, B, C, and D to Luann.

It's not true. That's a lie.

- What were the A, B, C, D? Tell me.

- Whatever. Those were all lies.

Kenya's had a stick up her butt from the moment she met me.

But even for Kenya, this is out-of-the-box rude.

I realize that everybody can't like everyone,

and at this point, I am not liking Kenya,

and I have no interest in her as a friend.

- Obviously, Kenya is making those comments

because they still have not resolved these things.

- Yeah.

- She got a problem with me, but don't demean me

and be nasty in front of all my peers.

That is wrong. It's not classy. It's not elegant.

- Okay, but you have to get a point

where you guys can have a conversation.

- Every conversation-- all right, I'll figure it out.

- Well, I really like Kenya and Ramona both,

and watching Ramona be hurt by Kenya is making me feel sad.

- I'm gonna get you to dance. - Nobody wants that.

- [laughs]

- We have one day left on the island,

and I know that both of these women are great people,

but they're not gonna see that in each other

unless they sit down and have an actual conversation.

But we're running out of time.

- Boom. There you go, see? You're dancing! There you go.

Boom. There you go. [laughs]

[smooth jazz music]

♪

- Everyone, safe home.

- Well, we don't have to worry about you 'cause you are home.

- And I don't need to worry about you

going to too many bars 'cause I think they're all--

- I think they're all... - I think they're all closed.

- Shut down.

- What if I go with you? Maybe no one will notice.

- You know what, you should give me your contact.

- I will. How do I do that?

- I am--do you have your phone? - Yes.

- Good. You take mine.

- Luann loves to flirt. I could care less.

He's all yours, Luann, if you want him.

- He was dancing with Kenya. He's getting Luann's number.

- [chuckles] - I mean...

- And then you text me, and then I have your number.

- That's how it works? - That's how it works.

Last time I checked, unless you have an update.

- Ladies. - Yes?

- I'm being naughty and leaving with my husband.

- Aw... - Good.

- As you should. We wouldn't expect anything less.

- I have no makeup remover, nothing.

- You don't need it. - Are you going for a nightcap?

- She'll spend the night. - No. I'm going for--

- She'll come back, walk the shame, at 7:00.

- A nightcap. Rrr!

- All right. Lots of love.

- Love you, ladies! - Bye.

- Have good sex.