Original subtitles

>>> OH, MAN, I HEARD THIS WAS THE SCARIEST RIDE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THE SCARIEST RIDE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE SCARIEST RIDE AT FRIGHT

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE SCARIEST RIDE AT FRIGHT NIGHTS.

THE SCARIEST RIDE AT FRIGHT NIGHTS. I LOWKEY MIGHT PASS OUT.

NIGHTS. I LOWKEY MIGHT PASS OUT. >> YOU'VE THREATENED TO PASS OUT

I LOWKEY MIGHT PASS OUT. >> YOU'VE THREATENED TO PASS OUT ON NEARLY EVERY RIGHT SO FAR, SO

>> YOU'VE THREATENED TO PASS OUT ON NEARLY EVERY RIGHT SO FAR, SO DO IT OR DON'T.

ON NEARLY EVERY RIGHT SO FAR, SO DO IT OR DON'T. JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT,

DO IT OR DON'T. JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT, PLEASE.

JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT, PLEASE. >> HELLCOME.

PLEASE. >> HELLCOME. I'LL BE YOUR GHOULISH GUIDE

>> HELLCOME. I'LL BE YOUR GHOULISH GUIDE THROUGH THIS CREEPY CRYPT WHICH

I'LL BE YOUR GHOULISH GUIDE THROUGH THIS CREEPY CRYPT WHICH HOUSES HISTORY'S MOST HEINOUS

THROUGH THIS CREEPY CRYPT WHICH HOUSES HISTORY'S MOST HEINOUS HOMICIDAL HUNKS.

HOUSES HISTORY'S MOST HEINOUS HOMICIDAL HUNKS. AND AWAY WE GO.

HOMICIDAL HUNKS. AND AWAY WE GO. HOLD ON TO YOUR HEADSTONES.

AND AWAY WE GO. HOLD ON TO YOUR HEADSTONES. WE'VE ARRIVED AT OUR FIRST TOMB.

HOLD ON TO YOUR HEADSTONES. WE'VE ARRIVED AT OUR FIRST TOMB. >> LIZZY BOARDEN DRESSED IN RED.

WE'VE ARRIVED AT OUR FIRST TOMB. >> LIZZY BOARDEN DRESSED IN RED. TAKES HER AX AND CHOPS OFF MY

>> LIZZY BOARDEN DRESSED IN RED. TAKES HER AX AND CHOPS OFF MY HEAD!

TAKES HER AX AND CHOPS OFF MY HEAD! >> OKAY, THAT WAS INSANE.

HEAD! >> OKAY, THAT WAS INSANE. I'M LITERALLY GOING TO PASS OUT.

>> OKAY, THAT WAS INSANE. I'M LITERALLY GOING TO PASS OUT. >> PASS OUT, THEN!

I'M LITERALLY GOING TO PASS OUT. >> PASS OUT, THEN! [ LAUGHTER ]

>> PASS OUT, THEN! [ LAUGHTER ] GOD!

[ LAUGHTER ] GOD! >> OUR TOUR OF TERROR'S JUST

GOD! >> OUR TOUR OF TERROR'S JUST BEGUN.

>> OUR TOUR OF TERROR'S JUST BEGUN. AND THE NEXT GRUESOME GRAVE IS

BEGUN. AND THE NEXT GRUESOME GRAVE IS DEAD AHEAD.

AND THE NEXT GRUESOME GRAVE IS DEAD AHEAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

DEAD AHEAD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT'S UP?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT'S UP? I'M GOING TO FREAK YOU OUT.

>> WHAT'S UP? I'M GOING TO FREAK YOU OUT. ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶

I'M GOING TO FREAK YOU OUT. ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶

¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶

¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶

¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ ¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

¶ DO DO DO DO DO DO DO ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> ANY QUESTIONS?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> ANY QUESTIONS? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> ANY QUESTIONS? [ LAUGHTER ] >> YES.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YES. WHO ARE YOU?

>> YES. WHO ARE YOU? >> I'M DAVID PUMPKINS, MAN!

WHO ARE YOU? >> I'M DAVID PUMPKINS, MAN! >> OKAY.

>> I'M DAVID PUMPKINS, MAN! >> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] AND DAVID PUMPKINS IS?

[ LAUGHTER ] AND DAVID PUMPKINS IS? >> A HALLOWEEN GUY.

AND DAVID PUMPKINS IS? >> A HALLOWEEN GUY. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> A HALLOWEEN GUY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND THE SKELETONS ARE?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND THE SKELETONS ARE? >> NEXT TO HIM!

>> AND THE SKELETONS ARE? >> NEXT TO HIM! >> NEXT TO HIM!

>> NEXT TO HIM! >> NEXT TO HIM! >> WHY ARE YOU ON THIS RIDE?

>> NEXT TO HIM! >> WHY ARE YOU ON THIS RIDE? >> TWO WORDS.

>> WHY ARE YOU ON THIS RIDE? >> TWO WORDS. >> MIDTERMS!

>> TWO WORDS. >> MIDTERMS! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

>> MIDTERMS! [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] BOO, IT'S ME, DONALD TRUMP, YOUR

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] BOO, IT'S ME, DONALD TRUMP, YOUR ONE TRUE GOD.

BOO, IT'S ME, DONALD TRUMP, YOUR ONE TRUE GOD. PAUSING "SNL" SKIT YET AGAIN.

ONE TRUE GOD. PAUSING "SNL" SKIT YET AGAIN. ARE YOU SAD YOU DON'T GET TO SEE

PAUSING "SNL" SKIT YET AGAIN. ARE YOU SAD YOU DON'T GET TO SEE YOUR THIRD DAVID PUMPKINS SCENE?

ARE YOU SAD YOU DON'T GET TO SEE YOUR THIRD DAVID PUMPKINS SCENE? I'LL SAVE YOU FOR A MINUTE.

YOUR THIRD DAVID PUMPKINS SCENE? I'LL SAVE YOU FOR A MINUTE. HE KEEPS POPPING UP AND

I'LL SAVE YOU FOR A MINUTE. HE KEEPS POPPING UP AND CONFUSING THE PEOPLE ON THE

HE KEEPS POPPING UP AND CONFUSING THE PEOPLE ON THE RIDE, THE END.

CONFUSING THE PEOPLE ON THE RIDE, THE END. I ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON

RIDE, THE END. I ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH MR. PUMPKINS.

I ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH MR. PUMPKINS. WE BOTH APPEARED IN 2016.

WITH MR. PUMPKINS. WE BOTH APPEARED IN 2016. WE'RE BOTH VERY LOUD, VERY

WE BOTH APPEARED IN 2016. WE'RE BOTH VERY LOUD, VERY ORANGE, AND VERY, FRANKLY,

WE'RE BOTH VERY LOUD, VERY ORANGE, AND VERY, FRANKLY, ANNOYING.

ORANGE, AND VERY, FRANKLY, ANNOYING. [ LAUGHTER ]

ANNOYING. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT WE LOVE TOM HANKS.

[ LAUGHTER ] BUT WE LOVE TOM HANKS. LOOK AT HIM BACK THERE.

BUT WE LOVE TOM HANKS. LOOK AT HIM BACK THERE. GOOD ACTING.

LOOK AT HIM BACK THERE. GOOD ACTING. GREAT ASS.

GOOD ACTING. GREAT ASS. [ LAUGHTER ]

GREAT ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A GREAT ASS ON HANKS.

[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S A GREAT ASS ON HANKS. THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN DOING

IT'S A GREAT ASS ON HANKS. THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN DOING LATELY, ADMIRING MEN'S ASSES.

THAT'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN DOING LATELY, ADMIRING MEN'S ASSES. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG

LATELY, ADMIRING MEN'S ASSES. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. JUST THAT I MIGHT BE GAY.

WITH THAT. JUST THAT I MIGHT BE GAY. [ LAUGHTER ]

JUST THAT I MIGHT BE GAY. [ LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE CALLING IT GUY DEMENT

[ LAUGHTER ] THEY'RE CALLING IT GUY DEMENT SHA.

THEY'RE CALLING IT GUY DEMENT SHA. THEY'RE CALLING IT GAY DEMENTIA.

SHA. THEY'RE CALLING IT GAY DEMENTIA. DEMENTIA, SHORT FOR

THEY'RE CALLING IT GAY DEMENTIA. DEMENTIA, SHORT FOR DE-MEN-SHA-SHOW-ME-THEIR-BUTTS.

DEMENTIA, SHORT FOR DE-MEN-SHA-SHOW-ME-THEIR-BUTTS. WOW, THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY

DE-MEN-SHA-SHOW-ME-THEIR-BUTTS. WOW, THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY CREATIVE.

WOW, THAT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY CREATIVE. I'VE ALSO BEEN MAKING ODD

CREATIVE. I'VE ALSO BEEN MAKING ODD NOISES, URP.

I'VE ALSO BEEN MAKING ODD NOISES, URP. REMEMBER THAT, WHAT THE HELL WAS

NOISES, URP. REMEMBER THAT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

REMEMBER THAT, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? PROBABLY SOUL TRYING TO LEAVE

THAT? PROBABLY SOUL TRYING TO LEAVE BODY, LURP!

PROBABLY SOUL TRYING TO LEAVE BODY, LURP! OH-OH, NEW SOUND JUST DROPPED,

BODY, LURP! OH-OH, NEW SOUND JUST DROPPED, IT'S PROBABLY FINE.

OH-OH, NEW SOUND JUST DROPPED, IT'S PROBABLY FINE. IF YOU RECALL THE EPSTEIN STUFF

IT'S PROBABLY FINE. IF YOU RECALL THE EPSTEIN STUFF YOU'RE PROBABLY FINE WITH URP.

IF YOU RECALL THE EPSTEIN STUFF YOU'RE PROBABLY FINE WITH URP. [ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'RE PROBABLY FINE WITH URP. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT THE MIDTERMS ARE ON TUESDAY

[ LAUGHTER ] BUT THE MIDTERMS ARE ON TUESDAY AND THE POLLS SAY WE'RE DOING

BUT THE MIDTERMS ARE ON TUESDAY AND THE POLLS SAY WE'RE DOING VERY BADLY.

AND THE POLLS SAY WE'RE DOING VERY BADLY. AWW, AWW!

VERY BADLY. AWW, AWW! [ AUDIENCE: AWW ]

AWW, AWW! [ AUDIENCE: AWW ] AWW!

[ AUDIENCE: AWW ] AWW! THEY'RE SAYING TEXAS IS TURNING

AWW! THEY'RE SAYING TEXAS IS TURNING PURPLE, JUST LIKE MY HAND.

THEY'RE SAYING TEXAS IS TURNING PURPLE, JUST LIKE MY HAND. [ LAUGHTER ]

PURPLE, JUST LIKE MY HAND. [ LAUGHTER ] AND IF IT GOES BLUE, THEN JUST

[ LAUGHTER ] AND IF IT GOES BLUE, THEN JUST LIKE MY HAND I WILL LEAVE IT FOR

AND IF IT GOES BLUE, THEN JUST LIKE MY HAND I WILL LEAVE IT FOR DEAD.

LIKE MY HAND I WILL LEAVE IT FOR DEAD. WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

DEAD. WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN. SO YOU'VE GOT TO VOTE FOR THAT

WE CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN. SO YOU'VE GOT TO VOTE FOR THAT AWFUL KEN PAXTON.

SO YOU'VE GOT TO VOTE FOR THAT AWFUL KEN PAXTON. GOD WHAT AN UGLY SON OF A BITCH.

AWFUL KEN PAXTON. GOD WHAT AN UGLY SON OF A BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ]

GOD WHAT AN UGLY SON OF A BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ] I HATE PAXTON BUT YOU'VE GOT TO

[ LAUGHTER ] I HATE PAXTON BUT YOU'VE GOT TO VOTE FOR HIM BECAUSE WE CAN'T

I HATE PAXTON BUT YOU'VE GOT TO VOTE FOR HIM BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE THIS TALAFREAKA, WHO'S MUCH

VOTE FOR HIM BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE THIS TALAFREAKA, WHO'S MUCH BETTER LOOKING AND A DYNAMITE

HAVE THIS TALAFREAKA, WHO'S MUCH BETTER LOOKING AND A DYNAMITE ASS.

BETTER LOOKING AND A DYNAMITE ASS. LIKE A PILLOWCASE FULL OF COBRAS

ASS. LIKE A PILLOWCASE FULL OF COBRAS BACK THERE.

LIKE A PILLOWCASE FULL OF COBRAS BACK THERE. THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO ALLURP.

BACK THERE. THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO ALLURP. [ LAUGHTER ]

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO ALLURP. [ LAUGHTER ] LOOK AT THEM, MR. FROZEN BACK

[ LAUGHTER ] LOOK AT THEM, MR. FROZEN BACK THERE.

LOOK AT THEM, MR. FROZEN BACK THERE. THEY HAVE TO STAY THERE THE

THERE. THEY HAVE TO STAY THERE THE WHOLE TIME.

THEY HAVE TO STAY THERE THE WHOLE TIME. >> I DON'T.

WHOLE TIME. >> I DON'T. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> I DON'T. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OF COURSE NOT, KENAN.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OF COURSE NOT, KENAN. YES, WHY NOT?

>> OF COURSE NOT, KENAN. YES, WHY NOT? BY THE WAY, THANK YOU FOR THAT

YES, WHY NOT? BY THE WAY, THANK YOU FOR THAT DONATION, THAT WAS REALLY

BY THE WAY, THANK YOU FOR THAT DONATION, THAT WAS REALLY GENEROUS.

DONATION, THAT WAS REALLY GENEROUS. [ LAUGHTER ]

GENEROUS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, YOU WISH, BITCH.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, YOU WISH, BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, YOU WISH, BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> KENAN, KENAN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> KENAN, KENAN. LOOKING FOR BOBBY MOYNIHAN BACK

>> KENAN, KENAN. LOOKING FOR BOBBY MOYNIHAN BACK THERE.

LOOKING FOR BOBBY MOYNIHAN BACK THERE. HE FLEW IN FOR THIS.

THERE. HE FLEW IN FOR THIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HE FLEW IN FOR THIS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANKS FOR SHAMING, BOBBY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANKS FOR SHAMING, BOBBY. RIBLET!

THANKS FOR SHAMING, BOBBY. RIBLET! [ LAUGHTER ]

RIBLET! [ LAUGHTER ] RIBLET!

[ LAUGHTER ] RIBLET! SMELLS LIKE PEPPER IN THIS

RIBLET! SMELLS LIKE PEPPER IN THIS PIZZERIA.

SMELLS LIKE PEPPER IN THIS PIZZERIA. WE HAD A GREAT FIRST SHOW.

PIZZERIA. WE HAD A GREAT FIRST SHOW. TOM'S STILL BACK THERE TOO.

WE HAD A GREAT FIRST SHOW. TOM'S STILL BACK THERE TOO. WAIT, IF HE'S HERE, WHO'S

TOM'S STILL BACK THERE TOO. WAIT, IF HE'S HERE, WHO'S NARRATING WORLD WAR II

WAIT, IF HE'S HERE, WHO'S NARRATING WORLD WAR II DOCUMENTARY?

NARRATING WORLD WAR II DOCUMENTARY? YOU KNOW WHO IT SHOULD BE, MY

DOCUMENTARY? YOU KNOW WHO IT SHOULD BE, MY NEW FRIEND AND FUTURE PRESS

YOU KNOW WHO IT SHOULD BE, MY NEW FRIEND AND FUTURE PRESS SECRETARY, THE LATE GREAT NICKI

NEW FRIEND AND FUTURE PRESS SECRETARY, THE LATE GREAT NICKI MINAJ.

SECRETARY, THE LATE GREAT NICKI MINAJ. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

MINAJ. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT'S UP?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT'S UP? IT'S NICKI MINAJ.

>> WHAT'S UP? IT'S NICKI MINAJ. I'M OUT HERE KILLING IT.

IT'S NICKI MINAJ. I'M OUT HERE KILLING IT. AND BY IT, I MEAN MY CAREER.

I'M OUT HERE KILLING IT. AND BY IT, I MEAN MY CAREER. [ LAUGHTER ]

AND BY IT, I MEAN MY CAREER. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M NICKI THE TRUMPY.

[ LAUGHTER ] I'M NICKI THE TRUMPY. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DEMOCRATS

I'M NICKI THE TRUMPY. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DEMOCRATS BOTHER AT THIS POINT.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DEMOCRATS BOTHER AT THIS POINT.

BOTHER AT THIS POINT. GIVE IT UP.

GIVE IT UP. IT'S ME.

GIVE IT UP. IT'S ME. JUST LIKE ME, IT'S HARD TO COME

IT'S ME. JUST LIKE ME, IT'S HARD TO COME BACK.

JUST LIKE ME, IT'S HARD TO COME BACK. [ LAUGHTER ]

BACK. [ LAUGHTER ] GLUP!

[ LAUGHTER ] GLUP! >> THANK YOU, NICKI.

GLUP! >> THANK YOU, NICKI. SHE'S GOT QUITE AN ASS.

>> THANK YOU, NICKI. SHE'S GOT QUITE AN ASS. IF ONLY IT WERE ON A MAN,

SHE'S GOT QUITE AN ASS. IF ONLY IT WERE ON A MAN, PERHAPS I COULD ADMIRE IT.

IF ONLY IT WERE ON A MAN, PERHAPS I COULD ADMIRE IT. [ LAUGHTER ]

PERHAPS I COULD ADMIRE IT. [ LAUGHTER ] REMEMBER TO VOTE REPUBLICAN.

[ LAUGHTER ] REMEMBER TO VOTE REPUBLICAN. IF THESE DEMOCRATS WIN AND THEY

REMEMBER TO VOTE REPUBLICAN. IF THESE DEMOCRATS WIN AND THEY GET ALL THAT POWER, THEY WILL --

IF THESE DEMOCRATS WIN AND THEY GET ALL THAT POWER, THEY WILL -- DO NOTHING, JUST LIKE THE LAST

GET ALL THAT POWER, THEY WILL -- DO NOTHING, JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME.

DO NOTHING, JUST LIKE THE LAST TIME. BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY THE BIG

TIME. BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY THE BIG LINE AND START THE SHOW.

BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO SAY THE BIG LINE AND START THE SHOW. AND I'D LIKE TO GIVE SOMEONE A

LINE AND START THE SHOW. AND I'D LIKE TO GIVE SOMEONE A CHANCE TO REDEEM HERSELF.

AND I'D LIKE TO GIVE SOMEONE A CHANCE TO REDEEM HERSELF. MY FORMER PRESS SECRETARY, KATIE

CHANCE TO REDEEM HERSELF. MY FORMER PRESS SECRETARY, KATIE ZACHARIA.

MY FORMER PRESS SECRETARY, KATIE ZACHARIA. COME ON OUT HERE.

ZACHARIA. COME ON OUT HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

COME ON OUT HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WITH CONFIDENCE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WITH CONFIDENCE. LIZ FROM NEW YORK AND FROM SO

>> WITH CONFIDENCE. LIZ FROM NEW YORK AND FROM SO MANY CITIES --

LIZ FROM NEW YORK AND FROM SO MANY CITIES -- >> NO, NO, YOU WHIFFED IT.

MANY CITIES -- >> NO, NO, YOU WHIFFED IT. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS ONE?

>> NO, NO, YOU WHIFFED IT. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS ONE? >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS ONE? >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

>> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY

SATURDAY NIGHT! >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH --

MUSICAL GUEST GRACIE ABRAMS. AND YOUR HOST, INDE NAVARRETTE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- INDE

AND YOUR HOST, INDE NAVARRETTE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- INDE NAVARRETTE!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- INDE NAVARRETTE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NAVARRETTE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

¶¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. YOU PROBABLY KNOW ME FROM THE

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. YOU PROBABLY KNOW ME FROM THE MOVIE "OBSESSION."

YOU PROBABLY KNOW ME FROM THE MOVIE "OBSESSION." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

MOVIE "OBSESSION." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME IF

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M ANYTHING LIKE MY CHARACTER,

AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M ANYTHING LIKE MY CHARACTER, NIKKI.

I'M ANYTHING LIKE MY CHARACTER, NIKKI. I'M LIKE, NO.

NIKKI. I'M LIKE, NO. NO.

I'M LIKE, NO. NO. NO, NO, DON'T DO THAT.

NO. NO, NO, DON'T DO THAT. BUT THE THING IS, I'M NOTHING

NO, NO, DON'T DO THAT. BUT THE THING IS, I'M NOTHING LIKE MY CHARACTER IN

BUT THE THING IS, I'M NOTHING LIKE MY CHARACTER IN "OBSESSION."

LIKE MY CHARACTER IN "OBSESSION." MY BOYFRIEND IS HERE TONIGHT TO

"OBSESSION." MY BOYFRIEND IS HERE TONIGHT TO SUPPORT ME.

MY BOYFRIEND IS HERE TONIGHT TO SUPPORT ME. WE HAVE SUCH A CHILL

SUPPORT ME. WE HAVE SUCH A CHILL RELATIONSHIP, RIGHT, HONEY?

WE HAVE SUCH A CHILL RELATIONSHIP, RIGHT, HONEY? [ LAUGHTER ]

RELATIONSHIP, RIGHT, HONEY? [ LAUGHTER ] GOOD JOB.

[ LAUGHTER ] GOOD JOB. BUT I LOVED MAKING "OBSESSION."

GOOD JOB. BUT I LOVED MAKING "OBSESSION." I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS,

BUT I LOVED MAKING "OBSESSION." I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT I'M GOING TO BE IN A MARVEL

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT I'M GOING TO BE IN A MARVEL MOVIE.

BUT I'M GOING TO BE IN A MARVEL MOVIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

MOVIE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES, YES.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES, YES. AND I KNOW IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT

YES, YES. AND I KNOW IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR MARVEL THAT YOU GET REALLY

AND I KNOW IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR MARVEL THAT YOU GET REALLY FIT, SO I'VE WON WORKING OUT A

FOR MARVEL THAT YOU GET REALLY FIT, SO I'VE WON WORKING OUT A LOT.

FIT, SO I'VE WON WORKING OUT A LOT. EVERY MORNING I PUT ON MY LITTLE

LOT. EVERY MORNING I PUT ON MY LITTLE OUTFIT AND HIT THE GYM.

EVERY MORNING I PUT ON MY LITTLE OUTFIT AND HIT THE GYM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

OUTFIT AND HIT THE GYM. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ANYWAY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ANYWAY. FOR ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME ONLY AS

ANYWAY. FOR ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME ONLY AS NIKKI, TONIGHT I'M HERE AS INDE.

FOR ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME ONLY AS NIKKI, TONIGHT I'M HERE AS INDE. A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK, IS INDE

NIKKI, TONIGHT I'M HERE AS INDE. A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK, IS INDE SHORT FOR INDIANA?

A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK, IS INDE SHORT FOR INDIANA? REALLY, IT'S LIKE FOR DEE.

SHORT FOR INDIANA? REALLY, IT'S LIKE FOR DEE. I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HOSTING

REALLY, IT'S LIKE FOR DEE. I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HOSTING TONIGHT BECAUSE IT'S THE

I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HOSTING TONIGHT BECAUSE IT'S THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE!

TONIGHT BECAUSE IT'S THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HALLOWEEN EPISODE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES! AND MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IS

YES! AND MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IS HALLOWEEN.

AND MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY IS HALLOWEEN. SINCE NONE OF THE CAST COULD GO

HALLOWEEN. SINCE NONE OF THE CAST COULD GO OUT TONIGHT, I THOUGHT THEY

SINCE NONE OF THE CAST COULD GO OUT TONIGHT, I THOUGHT THEY COULD SHOW UP IN THEIR COSTUMES

OUT TONIGHT, I THOUGHT THEY COULD SHOW UP IN THEIR COSTUMES HERE.

COULD SHOW UP IN THEIR COSTUMES HERE. >> HEY, INDE.

HERE. >> HEY, INDE. >> HEY, MARCELLO.

>> HEY, INDE. >> HEY, MARCELLO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> HEY, MARCELLO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I LOVE YOUR COSTUME.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I LOVE YOUR COSTUME. ARE YOU A TSA AGENT?

I LOVE YOUR COSTUME. ARE YOU A TSA AGENT? >> CLOSE.

ARE YOU A TSA AGENT? >> CLOSE. I'M A SEXY TSA AGENT.

>> CLOSE. I'M A SEXY TSA AGENT. [ LAUGHTER ]

I'M A SEXY TSA AGENT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HOW?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> HOW? >> LIKE THIS.

>> HOW? >> LIKE THIS. ¶¶

>> LIKE THIS. ¶¶ HEY, GIRL.

¶¶ HEY, GIRL. HEADACHE THOSE SHOES OFF AND GO

HEY, GIRL. HEADACHE THOSE SHOES OFF AND GO STAND IN MY BIG, NASTY MACHINE.

HEADACHE THOSE SHOES OFF AND GO STAND IN MY BIG, NASTY MACHINE. [ LAUGHTER ]

STAND IN MY BIG, NASTY MACHINE. [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE THIS.

[ LAUGHTER ] LIKE THIS. >> OH!

LIKE THIS. >> OH! I LOVE IT.

>> OH! I LOVE IT. [ CHEERS ]

I LOVE IT. [ CHEERS ] >> ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT.

[ CHEERS ] >> ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT. >> THANK YOU.

>> ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT. >> THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> SORRY, WHO ARE YOU?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> SORRY, WHO ARE YOU? >> THE BAD LADY WITH THE BLOOD.

>> SORRY, WHO ARE YOU? >> THE BAD LADY WITH THE BLOOD. >> ELIZABETH HOLMES?

>> THE BAD LADY WITH THE BLOOD. >> ELIZABETH HOLMES? >> I DON'T KNOW.

>> ELIZABETH HOLMES? >> I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> I DON'T KNOW. [ LAUGHTER ] PEOPLE WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT

[ LAUGHTER ] PEOPLE WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT.

PEOPLE WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT IT. I'M TRYING TO MEET THEM HALFWAY.

IT. I'M TRYING TO MEET THEM HALFWAY. >> LIGHT, RIGHT.

I'M TRYING TO MEET THEM HALFWAY. >> LIGHT, RIGHT. COULD HAVE FOOLED ME.

>> LIGHT, RIGHT. COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. OH, JEREMY.

COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. OH, JEREMY. WHOA, YOU'RE WOLVERINE.

OH, JEREMY. WHOA, YOU'RE WOLVERINE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WHOA, YOU'RE WOLVERINE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THAT'S RIGHT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THAT'S RIGHT. I KNOW YOU WERE CAST AS ROGUE IN

>> THAT'S RIGHT. I KNOW YOU WERE CAST AS ROGUE IN THE NEW "X-MEN" MOVIE.

I KNOW YOU WERE CAST AS ROGUE IN THE NEW "X-MEN" MOVIE. I GUESS THEY HAVEN'T EVEN CAST

THE NEW "X-MEN" MOVIE. I GUESS THEY HAVEN'T EVEN CAST WOLVERINE YET?

I GUESS THEY HAVEN'T EVEN CAST WOLVERINE YET? [ LAUGHTER ]

WOLVERINE YET? [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, I'M SO SORRY, I ACTUALLY

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, I'M SO SORRY, I ACTUALLY CAN'T COMMENT ON THAT.

>> OH, I'M SO SORRY, I ACTUALLY CAN'T COMMENT ON THAT. >> WELL, I CAN.

CAN'T COMMENT ON THAT. >> WELL, I CAN. I'D LOVE TO BE "INDE" MOVIE WITH

>> WELL, I CAN. I'D LOVE TO BE "INDE" MOVIE WITH YOU.

I'D LOVE TO BE "INDE" MOVIE WITH YOU. >> YOU'RE SO HILARIOUS.

YOU. >> YOU'RE SO HILARIOUS. GET AWAY FROM ME.

>> YOU'RE SO HILARIOUS. GET AWAY FROM ME. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

GET AWAY FROM ME. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. GREAT, YOU'RE A BIRD.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU. GREAT, YOU'RE A BIRD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GREAT, YOU'RE A BIRD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OH, MY GOD.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OH, MY GOD. >> IT'S A GROUP COSTUME.

OH, MY GOD. >> IT'S A GROUP COSTUME. >> OH, SURE, YEAH.

>> IT'S A GROUP COSTUME. >> OH, SURE, YEAH. >> I WANT TO BUY THE BIRD.

>> OH, SURE, YEAH. >> I WANT TO BUY THE BIRD. >> NO!

>> I WANT TO BUY THE BIRD. >> NO! IT'S KELLY CLARKSON.

>> NO! IT'S KELLY CLARKSON. >> SELL ME THE DAMN BIRD!

IT'S KELLY CLARKSON. >> SELL ME THE DAMN BIRD! >> I AM NOT FOR SALE!

>> SELL ME THE DAMN BIRD! >> I AM NOT FOR SALE! ¶ GIVE ME THE BIRD I WANT TO BAG

>> I AM NOT FOR SALE! ¶ GIVE ME THE BIRD I WANT TO BAG THAT TOY BIRD ¶

¶ GIVE ME THE BIRD I WANT TO BAG THAT TOY BIRD ¶ >> YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!

THAT TOY BIRD ¶ >> YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOW IT REALLY FEELS LIKE

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOW IT REALLY FEELS LIKE HALLOWEEN.

NOW IT REALLY FEELS LIKE HALLOWEEN. ¶¶

HALLOWEEN. ¶¶ SO LET'S DO IT!

¶¶ SO LET'S DO IT! WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT.

SO LET'S DO IT! WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. GRACIE ABRAMS IS HERE.

WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. GRACIE ABRAMS IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GRACIE ABRAMS IS HERE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SO STICK AROUND!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SO STICK AROUND!

>>> WE'VE COME TO THE LAST STOP ON OUR "GHOST OF THE QUEEN MARY TOUR."

ON OUR "GHOST OF THE QUEEN MARY TOUR." THIS IS THE FAMOUS PROMENADE

TOUR." THIS IS THE FAMOUS PROMENADE DECK WHICH IS SAID TO BE THE

THIS IS THE FAMOUS PROMENADE DECK WHICH IS SAID TO BE THE MOST HAUNTED AREA ON THE SHIP.

DECK WHICH IS SAID TO BE THE MOST HAUNTED AREA ON THE SHIP. >> OOH!

MOST HAUNTED AREA ON THE SHIP. >> OOH! >> SIR, I THINK I SEE A GHOST.

>> OOH! >> SIR, I THINK I SEE A GHOST. THIS CREEPY WOMAN NEXT TO ME IS

>> SIR, I THINK I SEE A GHOST. THIS CREEPY WOMAN NEXT TO ME IS SO PALE ACTION SHE MUST BE DEAD.

THIS CREEPY WOMAN NEXT TO ME IS SO PALE ACTION SHE MUST BE DEAD. [ LAUGHTER ]

SO PALE ACTION SHE MUST BE DEAD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, YOU KNOW I'M NOT DEAD,

[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, YOU KNOW I'M NOT DEAD, ALAN, I'M YOUR WIFE.

>> HEY, YOU KNOW I'M NOT DEAD, ALAN, I'M YOUR WIFE. [ LAUGHTER ]

ALAN, I'M YOUR WIFE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAYY DOKY.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAYY DOKY. MANY PEOPLE CLAIM TO HAVE SEEN

>> OKAYY DOKY. MANY PEOPLE CLAIM TO HAVE SEEN THE SPIRITS OF PASSENGERS FROM

MANY PEOPLE CLAIM TO HAVE SEEN THE SPIRITS OF PASSENGERS FROM THE 1930s WANDERING THIS DECK AT

THE SPIRITS OF PASSENGERS FROM THE 1930s WANDERING THIS DECK AT NIGHT.

THE 1930s WANDERING THIS DECK AT NIGHT. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN MAKE

NIGHT. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN MAKE CONTACT.

LET'S SEE IF WE CAN MAKE CONTACT. TO ANY SPIRITS HERE, WE ASK THAT

CONTACT. TO ANY SPIRITS HERE, WE ASK THAT YOU MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN.

TO ANY SPIRITS HERE, WE ASK THAT YOU MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN. >> WAIT.

YOU MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN. >> WAIT. WAIT, I THINK I SEE SOMETHING.

>> WAIT. WAIT, I THINK I SEE SOMETHING. >> YOUNG MAN, MY NAME IS JUDITH

WAIT, I THINK I SEE SOMETHING. >> YOUNG MAN, MY NAME IS JUDITH HOLLANDS AND I HAVE SECRETS TO

>> YOUNG MAN, MY NAME IS JUDITH HOLLANDS AND I HAVE SECRETS TO REVEAL.

HOLLANDS AND I HAVE SECRETS TO REVEAL. >> HER NAME'S JUDITH HAALANDS

REVEAL. >> HER NAME'S JUDITH HAALANDS AND SHE HAS SECRETS TO REVEAL!

>> HER NAME'S JUDITH HAALANDS AND SHE HAS SECRETS TO REVEAL! >> JUDITH HOLLINS?

AND SHE HAS SECRETS TO REVEAL! >> JUDITH HOLLINS? THAT WAS A WEALTHY HEIRESS WHO

>> JUDITH HOLLINS? THAT WAS A WEALTHY HEIRESS WHO DIED ON THE "QUEEN MARY" IN THE

THAT WAS A WEALTHY HEIRESS WHO DIED ON THE "QUEEN MARY" IN THE '30s.

DIED ON THE "QUEEN MARY" IN THE '30s. THEY SAY SHE HID HER PRICELESS

'30s. THEY SAY SHE HID HER PRICELESS DIAMONDS ON BOARD.

THEY SAY SHE HID HER PRICELESS DIAMONDS ON BOARD. >> SHH, SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING.

DIAMONDS ON BOARD. >> SHH, SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING. >> IF YOU WISH TO FIND MY HIDDEN

>> SHH, SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING. >> IF YOU WISH TO FIND MY HIDDEN TREASURE, LISTEN CLOSE.

>> IF YOU WISH TO FIND MY HIDDEN TREASURE, LISTEN CLOSE. FIRST, YOU MUST GO --

TREASURE, LISTEN CLOSE. FIRST, YOU MUST GO -- >> HEY!

FIRST, YOU MUST GO -- >> HEY! HI.

>> HEY! HI. I'M GOING SWIMMING AT THE POOL.

HI. I'M GOING SWIMMING AT THE POOL. [ LAUGHTER ]

I'M GOING SWIMMING AT THE POOL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. >> I'M GOING TO SWIM AND JUMP

>> OKAY. >> I'M GOING TO SWIM AND JUMP AND DO DIFFERENT DIVES.

>> I'M GOING TO SWIM AND JUMP AND DO DIFFERENT DIVES. COME SWIMMING.

AND DO DIFFERENT DIVES. COME SWIMMING. COME ON, MY SISTER'S COMING TOO,

COME SWIMMING. COME ON, MY SISTER'S COMING TOO, LOOK.

COME ON, MY SISTER'S COMING TOO, LOOK. >> HI!

LOOK. >> HI! >> YES.

>> HI! >> YES. >> WE'RE GOING SWIMMING IN THE

>> YES. >> WE'RE GOING SWIMMING IN THE POOL!

>> WE'RE GOING SWIMMING IN THE POOL! >> YES.

POOL! >> YES. >> COME WITH US.

>> YES. >> COME WITH US. >> COME ON, THE POOL'S THIS WAY.

>> COME WITH US. >> COME ON, THE POOL'S THIS WAY. COME ON, COME WITH US.

>> COME ON, THE POOL'S THIS WAY. COME ON, COME WITH US. >> WE'RE GOING SWIMMING, COME

COME ON, COME WITH US. >> WE'RE GOING SWIMMING, COME ON.

>> WE'RE GOING SWIMMING, COME ON. >> COME ON WITH US.

ON. >> COME ON WITH US. >> AND THAT IS WHERE MY TREASURE

>> COME ON WITH US. >> AND THAT IS WHERE MY TREASURE LIES.

>> AND THAT IS WHERE MY TREASURE LIES. [ LAUGHTER ]

LIES. [ LAUGHTER ] >> DID SHE TELL YOU WHERE HER

[ LAUGHTER ] >> DID SHE TELL YOU WHERE HER DIAMONDS ARE?

>> DID SHE TELL YOU WHERE HER DIAMONDS ARE? >> YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T HEAR HER

DIAMONDS ARE? >> YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T HEAR HER BECAUSE THESE SUPER-HAPPY 1930s

>> YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T HEAR HER BECAUSE THESE SUPER-HAPPY 1930s BLOND KIDS WERE INVITING ME TO

BECAUSE THESE SUPER-HAPPY 1930s BLOND KIDS WERE INVITING ME TO GO SWIMMING.

BLOND KIDS WERE INVITING ME TO GO SWIMMING. >> WELL, ASK HER TO TELL YOU

GO SWIMMING. >> WELL, ASK HER TO TELL YOU AGAIN, MAN.

>> WELL, ASK HER TO TELL YOU AGAIN, MAN. >> OKAY.

AGAIN, MAN. >> OKAY. MISS HOLLINS, CAN YOU REPEAT

>> OKAY. MISS HOLLINS, CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?

MISS HOLLINS, CAN YOU REPEAT THAT? >> YES, BUT WE MUST HURRY.

THAT? >> YES, BUT WE MUST HURRY. MY TIME IN THIS REALM IS

>> YES, BUT WE MUST HURRY. MY TIME IN THIS REALM IS FLEETING.

MY TIME IN THIS REALM IS FLEETING. TO FIND MY TREASURE, GO TO THE

FLEETING. TO FIND MY TREASURE, GO TO THE BIG --

TO FIND MY TREASURE, GO TO THE BIG -- >> RINGS!

BIG -- >> RINGS! >> RINGS, WE'RE BRINGING THEM

>> RINGS! >> RINGS, WE'RE BRINGING THEM ZIPPING.

>> RINGS, WE'RE BRINGING THEM ZIPPING. THEY SINK IN THE WATER.

ZIPPING. THEY SINK IN THE WATER. >> WE'RE GOING TO THROW THESE IN

THEY SINK IN THE WATER. >> WE'RE GOING TO THROW THESE IN THE POOL.

>> WE'RE GOING TO THROW THESE IN THE POOL. COME ON!

THE POOL. COME ON! >> YOU HAVE TO COME ON, AND

COME ON! >> YOU HAVE TO COME ON, AND GUESS WHAT?

>> YOU HAVE TO COME ON, AND GUESS WHAT? OUR DAD'S COMING TOO.

GUESS WHAT? OUR DAD'S COMING TOO. >> YAY!

OUR DAD'S COMING TOO. >> YAY! >> YEAH, HIS SWIMMING COSTUME IS

>> YAY! >> YEAH, HIS SWIMMING COSTUME IS INCREDIBLE.

>> YEAH, HIS SWIMMING COSTUME IS INCREDIBLE. >> DADDY'S SWIMMING COSTUME!

INCREDIBLE. >> DADDY'S SWIMMING COSTUME! >> YES, AND MY SISTER WILL KEEP

>> DADDY'S SWIMMING COSTUME! >> YES, AND MY SISTER WILL KEEP US ENTERTAINED.

>> YES, AND MY SISTER WILL KEEP US ENTERTAINED. SHE'S SO TALENTED.

US ENTERTAINED. SHE'S SO TALENTED. SHOW THEM.

SHE'S SO TALENTED. SHOW THEM. OH!

SHOW THEM. OH! OH, MY GOSH!

OH! OH, MY GOSH! >> SO COOL!

OH, MY GOSH! >> SO COOL! COME ON.

>> SO COOL! COME ON. >> SHE'S GOING TO DO THAT WHILE

COME ON. >> SHE'S GOING TO DO THAT WHILE WE SWIM.

>> SHE'S GOING TO DO THAT WHILE WE SWIM. IT'S CRAZY.

WE SWIM. IT'S CRAZY. THE POOL'S THIS WAY, COME ON.

IT'S CRAZY. THE POOL'S THIS WAY, COME ON. YOU HAVE TO COME.

THE POOL'S THIS WAY, COME ON. YOU HAVE TO COME. >> AND THAT'S WHERE MY TREASURE

YOU HAVE TO COME. >> AND THAT'S WHERE MY TREASURE LIES.

>> AND THAT'S WHERE MY TREASURE LIES. >> OH, MY GOD.

LIES. >> OH, MY GOD. I MISSED IT AGAIN.

>> OH, MY GOD. I MISSED IT AGAIN. THE KIDS CAME BACK TO GLAZE

I MISSED IT AGAIN. THE KIDS CAME BACK TO GLAZE THEIR DAD'S SWIMMING COSTUME.

THE KIDS CAME BACK TO GLAZE THEIR DAD'S SWIMMING COSTUME. [ LAUGHTER ]

THEIR DAD'S SWIMMING COSTUME. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO KIDS,

[ LAUGHTER ] >> WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO KIDS, WEIRDO?

>> WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO KIDS, WEIRDO? GET THE RICH LADY BACK.

WEIRDO? GET THE RICH LADY BACK. >> I'M TRYING.

GET THE RICH LADY BACK. >> I'M TRYING. MISS HOLLINS?

>> I'M TRYING. MISS HOLLINS? I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU AGAIN.

MISS HOLLINS? I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU AGAIN. WAIT, WAIT, I SEE SOMETHING.

I WISH TO SPEAK WITH YOU AGAIN. WAIT, WAIT, I SEE SOMETHING. >> HELLO!

WAIT, WAIT, I SEE SOMETHING. >> HELLO! MY CHILDREN TOLD ME YOU WANT TO

>> HELLO! MY CHILDREN TOLD ME YOU WANT TO SEE MY SWIMMING COSTUME.

MY CHILDREN TOLD ME YOU WANT TO SEE MY SWIMMING COSTUME. COME, SEE IT IN WATER AT THE

SEE MY SWIMMING COSTUME. COME, SEE IT IN WATER AT THE POOL.

COME, SEE IT IN WATER AT THE POOL. >> LOOK, ISN'T IT AMAZING, MY

POOL. >> LOOK, ISN'T IT AMAZING, MY DAD'S SWIMMING COSTUME?

>> LOOK, ISN'T IT AMAZING, MY DAD'S SWIMMING COSTUME? LOOK AT IT.

DAD'S SWIMMING COSTUME? LOOK AT IT. >> NO.

LOOK AT IT. >> NO. YOU OVERHYPED IT SO MUCH.

>> NO. YOU OVERHYPED IT SO MUCH. [ LAUGHTER ]

YOU OVERHYPED IT SO MUCH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> TURN AROUND, DAD!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> TURN AROUND, DAD! >> HEY, HEY, COME SWIMMING WITH

>> TURN AROUND, DAD! >> HEY, HEY, COME SWIMMING WITH US, COME ON!

>> HEY, HEY, COME SWIMMING WITH US, COME ON! >> COME!

US, COME ON! >> COME! >> DID YOU CALL FOR ME, YOUNG

>> COME! >> DID YOU CALL FOR ME, YOUNG MAN?

>> DID YOU CALL FOR ME, YOUNG MAN? >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T TALK, HE

MAN? >> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T TALK, HE WANTS TO COME SWIMMING.

>> NO, NO, YOU CAN'T TALK, HE WANTS TO COME SWIMMING. COME SWIMMING WITH US.

WANTS TO COME SWIMMING. COME SWIMMING WITH US. >> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM.

COME SWIMMING WITH US. >> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM. >> NEITHER DO WE.

>> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM. >> NEITHER DO WE. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

>> NEITHER DO WE. WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. COME ON!

WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. COME ON! >> YES, SWIMMING WITH US!

COME ON! >> YES, SWIMMING WITH US! >> SWIMMING WITH US!

>> YES, SWIMMING WITH US! >> SWIMMING WITH US! COME SWIMMING WITH US!

>> SWIMMING WITH US! COME SWIMMING WITH US! [ LAUGHTER ]

COME SWIMMING WITH US! [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND? WHAT HAPPENED?

>> AND? WHAT HAPPENED? >> WELL, EVERYONE LEFT TO GO

WHAT HAPPENED? >> WELL, EVERYONE LEFT TO GO SWIMMING.

>> WELL, EVERYONE LEFT TO GO SWIMMING. BUT I THINK I KNOW HOW THEY ALL

SWIMMING. BUT I THINK I KNOW HOW THEY ALL DIED.

BUT I THINK I KNOW HOW THEY ALL DIED. [ LAUGHTER ]

DIED. [ LAUGHTER ] THEY PROBABLY DROWNED BECAUSE

[ LAUGHTER ] THEY PROBABLY DROWNED BECAUSE THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW

THEY PROBABLY DROWNED BECAUSE THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM.

THEY SAID THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM. >> WAIT, WAIT.

TO SWIM. >> WAIT, WAIT. YOU GUYS IS EPP?

>> WAIT, WAIT. YOU GUYS IS EPP? >> NO.

YOU GUYS IS EPP? >> NO. >> NO, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

>> NO. >> NO, WHAT DO YOU SEE? >> A WOMAN.

>> NO, WHAT DO YOU SEE? >> A WOMAN. RADIATING A WHITE, BLINDING

>> A WOMAN. RADIATING A WHITE, BLINDING LIGHT.

RADIATING A WHITE, BLINDING LIGHT. SHE'S -- MY PALE-ASS WIFE!

LIGHT. SHE'S -- MY PALE-ASS WIFE! [ LAUGHTER ]

SHE'S -- MY PALE-ASS WIFE! [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> AT DELTA, WE STRIVE TO

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> AT DELTA, WE STRIVE TO PROVIDE A SAFE, ENJOYABLE FLIGHT

>>> AT DELTA, WE STRIVE TO PROVIDE A SAFE, ENJOYABLE FLIGHT TO EVERYONE.

PROVIDE A SAFE, ENJOYABLE FLIGHT TO EVERYONE. UNFORTUNATELY, INCIDENTS OF

TO EVERYONE. UNFORTUNATELY, INCIDENTS OF UNRULY BEHAVIOR ARE ON THE RISE.

UNFORTUNATELY, INCIDENTS OF UNRULY BEHAVIOR ARE ON THE RISE. NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH

UNRULY BEHAVIOR ARE ON THE RISE. NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS OF A DISORDERLY

NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS OF A DISORDERLY PASSENGER ON THEIR FLIGHT.

THE STRESS OF A DISORDERLY PASSENGER ON THEIR FLIGHT. AND NOW THEY WON'T HAVE TO.

PASSENGER ON THEIR FLIGHT. AND NOW THEY WON'T HAVE TO. INTRODUCING DELTA DISRUPTIVE, A

AND NOW THEY WON'T HAVE TO. INTRODUCING DELTA DISRUPTIVE, A NEW SECTION OF THE PLANE

INTRODUCING DELTA DISRUPTIVE, A NEW SECTION OF THE PLANE EXCLUSIVELY FOR CRAZY PEOPLE.

NEW SECTION OF THE PLANE EXCLUSIVELY FOR CRAZY PEOPLE. [ LAUGHTER ]

EXCLUSIVELY FOR CRAZY PEOPLE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, HEY!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, HEY! THIS IS MY SEAT!

>> HEY, HEY! THIS IS MY SEAT! >> THE ILLUMINATI ARE IN THE AIR

THIS IS MY SEAT! >> THE ILLUMINATI ARE IN THE AIR AGAIN!

>> THE ILLUMINATI ARE IN THE AIR AGAIN! >> DELTA DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL

AGAIN! >> DELTA DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE CONSTANT PROBLEMS THESE

>> DELTA DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE CONSTANT PROBLEMS THESE PASSENGERS CREATE, BUT WE STILL

WITH THE CONSTANT PROBLEMS THESE PASSENGERS CREATE, BUT WE STILL WANTED THEIR MONEY.

PASSENGERS CREATE, BUT WE STILL WANTED THEIR MONEY. SO WHETHER YOU'RE A BASIC,

WANTED THEIR MONEY. SO WHETHER YOU'RE A BASIC, INCONSIDERATE A-HOLE OR A

SO WHETHER YOU'RE A BASIC, INCONSIDERATE A-HOLE OR A PARANOID LUNATIC WHO TRIES TO

INCONSIDERATE A-HOLE OR A PARANOID LUNATIC WHO TRIES TO OPEN THE DOOR MIDFLIGHT --

PARANOID LUNATIC WHO TRIES TO OPEN THE DOOR MIDFLIGHT -- >> THIS PLANE IS MADE OUT OF

OPEN THE DOOR MIDFLIGHT -- >> THIS PLANE IS MADE OUT OF ISRAEL!

>> THIS PLANE IS MADE OUT OF ISRAEL! [ LAUGHTER ]

ISRAEL! [ LAUGHTER ] >> DELTA DISRUPTERS IS FOR YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> DELTA DISRUPTERS IS FOR YOU. >> USUALLY THEY'RE LIKE, YOU

>> DELTA DISRUPTERS IS FOR YOU. >> USUALLY THEY'RE LIKE, YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT, YOU CAN SEE

>> USUALLY THEY'RE LIKE, YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT, YOU CAN SEE YOUR WHOLE ASS.

CAN'T WEAR THAT, YOU CAN SEE YOUR WHOLE ASS. BUT NOW I CAN WEAR WHATEVER I

YOUR WHOLE ASS. BUT NOW I CAN WEAR WHATEVER I WANT.

BUT NOW I CAN WEAR WHATEVER I WANT. >> THIS BITCH BEHIND ME IS NOT

WANT. >> THIS BITCH BEHIND ME IS NOT RULE, SHE'S A SHADOW PERSON ONLY

>> THIS BITCH BEHIND ME IS NOT RULE, SHE'S A SHADOW PERSON ONLY I CAN SEE.

RULE, SHE'S A SHADOW PERSON ONLY I CAN SEE. >> I CAN BE WHAT I WANT TO BE

I CAN SEE. >> I CAN BE WHAT I WANT TO BE AND READ WHAT I WANT TO READ.

>> I CAN BE WHAT I WANT TO BE AND READ WHAT I WANT TO READ. [ LAUGHTER ]

AND READ WHAT I WANT TO READ. [ LAUGHTER ] >> NEVER CHECK YOUR BAG.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> NEVER CHECK YOUR BAG. IF YOU SAY IT WILL FIT, IT WILL

>> NEVER CHECK YOUR BAG. IF YOU SAY IT WILL FIT, IT WILL FIT!

IF YOU SAY IT WILL FIT, IT WILL FIT! >> THERE ARE SOME RULES IN DELTA

FIT! >> THERE ARE SOME RULES IN DELTA DISRUPTIVE.

>> THERE ARE SOME RULES IN DELTA DISRUPTIVE. FOR INSTANCE, YOU CAN'T STAB

DISRUPTIVE. FOR INSTANCE, YOU CAN'T STAB PEOPLE WITH A PEN.

FOR INSTANCE, YOU CAN'T STAB PEOPLE WITH A PEN. >> EVEN IF THEY'RE IN YOUR SEAT!

PEOPLE WITH A PEN. >> EVEN IF THEY'RE IN YOUR SEAT! AAHHHH!

>> EVEN IF THEY'RE IN YOUR SEAT! AAHHHH! >> OKAY, BUT ALMOST ANYTHING

AAHHHH! >> OKAY, BUT ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE IS FINE.

>> OKAY, BUT ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE IS FINE. AND IF YOU'RE WORRIED THAT A

ELSE IS FINE. AND IF YOU'RE WORRIED THAT A SECTION FULL OF CRAZY PEOPLE

AND IF YOU'RE WORRIED THAT A SECTION FULL OF CRAZY PEOPLE WON'T BE SAFE, DON'T BE.

SECTION FULL OF CRAZY PEOPLE WON'T BE SAFE, DON'T BE. ALL DELTA DISRUPTIVE FLIGHT

WON'T BE SAFE, DON'T BE. ALL DELTA DISRUPTIVE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE THE TOUGHEST,

ALL DELTA DISRUPTIVE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ARE THE TOUGHEST, GAYEST, EX-SPIRIT AIRLINES

ATTENDANTS ARE THE TOUGHEST, GAYEST, EX-SPIRIT AIRLINES EMPLOYEES WHO HAVE SEEN MUCH

GAYEST, EX-SPIRIT AIRLINES EMPLOYEES WHO HAVE SEEN MUCH WORSE.

EMPLOYEES WHO HAVE SEEN MUCH WORSE. [ LAUGHTER ]

WORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, HELL, NO.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, HELL, NO. WHAT DID I SAY?

>> OH, HELL, NO. WHAT DID I SAY? IF YOUR DAMN COMFORT IGUANA BIT

WHAT DID I SAY? IF YOUR DAMN COMFORT IGUANA BIT ANOTHER PASSENGER, I'D THROW IT

IF YOUR DAMN COMFORT IGUANA BIT ANOTHER PASSENGER, I'D THROW IT OUT OF THE PLANE.

ANOTHER PASSENGER, I'D THROW IT OUT OF THE PLANE. GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN LIZARD.

OUT OF THE PLANE. GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN LIZARD. [ LAUGHTER ]

GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN LIZARD. [ LAUGHTER ] NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO

[ LAUGHTER ] NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY ON MY

NOW I'M GOING TO GO BACK TO WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY ON MY PHONE.

WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY ON MY PHONE. >> THANKS TO FOUR-INCH-THICK

PHONE. >> THANKS TO FOUR-INCH-THICK ACOUSTIC PLEXIGLASS, REGULAR

>> THANKS TO FOUR-INCH-THICK ACOUSTIC PLEXIGLASS, REGULAR PASSENGERS WON'T BE BOTHERED BY

ACOUSTIC PLEXIGLASS, REGULAR PASSENGERS WON'T BE BOTHERED BY ANYONE IN DELTA DISRUPTIVE, NO

PASSENGERS WON'T BE BOTHERED BY ANYONE IN DELTA DISRUPTIVE, NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON BACK

ANYONE IN DELTA DISRUPTIVE, NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON BACK THERE.

MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON BACK THERE. SO STOP BEING MET BY LAW

THERE. SO STOP BEING MET BY LAW ENFORCEMENT WHEN YOU LAND AND

SO STOP BEING MET BY LAW ENFORCEMENT WHEN YOU LAND AND START FLYING DELTA DISRUPTIVE.

ENFORCEMENT WHEN YOU LAND AND START FLYING DELTA DISRUPTIVE. CURRENTLY AVAILABLE ON ALL

START FLYING DELTA DISRUPTIVE. CURRENTLY AVAILABLE ON ALL DOMESTIC FLIGHTS WITHIN FLORIDA.

CURRENTLY AVAILABLE ON ALL DOMESTIC FLIGHTS WITHIN FLORIDA. [ LAUGHTER ]

DOMESTIC FLIGHTS WITHIN FLORIDA. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Announcer: NE

>>> IT'S "THE UNINTERESTED WOMAN GAME SHOW." AND HERE'S YOUR HOST.

GAME SHOW." AND HERE'S YOUR HOST. >> HELLO, MY NAME IS SEPHORA

AND HERE'S YOUR HOST. >> HELLO, MY NAME IS SEPHORA OUTLET.

>> HELLO, MY NAME IS SEPHORA OUTLET. [ LAUGHTER ]

OUTLET. [ LAUGHTER ] WELCOME TO "THE UNINTERESTED

[ LAUGHTER ] WELCOME TO "THE UNINTERESTED WOMAN GAME SHOW."

WELCOME TO "THE UNINTERESTED WOMAN GAME SHOW." A GAME SHOW WHERE A WOMAN IS UP

WOMAN GAME SHOW." A GAME SHOW WHERE A WOMAN IS UP FRONT ABOUT NOT BEING INTERESTED

A GAME SHOW WHERE A WOMAN IS UP FRONT ABOUT NOT BEING INTERESTED IN THREE BACHELORS AND THEY

FRONT ABOUT NOT BEING INTERESTED IN THREE BACHELORS AND THEY COMPETE TO REACT APPROPRIATELY.

IN THREE BACHELORS AND THEY COMPETE TO REACT APPROPRIATELY. LET'S MEET KELLY.

COMPETE TO REACT APPROPRIATELY. LET'S MEET KELLY. >> HI.

LET'S MEET KELLY. >> HI. I'M KELLY.

>> HI. I'M KELLY. I'M FROM TEXAS.

I'M KELLY. I'M FROM TEXAS. I'M A LESBIAN.

I'M FROM TEXAS. I'M A LESBIAN. AND I'M MARRIED.

I'M A LESBIAN. AND I'M MARRIED. [ LAUGHTER ]

AND I'M MARRIED. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M LOOKING FOR THREE MEN WITH

[ LAUGHTER ] I'M LOOKING FOR THREE MEN WITH POLITE CONVERSATION WHILE I WAIT

I'M LOOKING FOR THREE MEN WITH POLITE CONVERSATION WHILE I WAIT FOR MY BAGEL TO BE READY.

POLITE CONVERSATION WHILE I WAIT FOR MY BAGEL TO BE READY. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN DATING.

FOR MY BAGEL TO BE READY. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN DATING. >> LET'S MEET OUR GENTLEMEN.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN DATING. >> LET'S MEET OUR GENTLEMEN. >> WHAT'S UP?

>> LET'S MEET OUR GENTLEMEN. >> WHAT'S UP? >> YOU ARE GORGEOUS.

>> WHAT'S UP? >> YOU ARE GORGEOUS. >> EXCITED TO DATE.

>> YOU ARE GORGEOUS. >> EXCITED TO DATE. >> OKAY, BAD START.

>> EXCITED TO DATE. >> OKAY, BAD START. LET'S GET TO KNOW THESE GUYS A

>> OKAY, BAD START. LET'S GET TO KNOW THESE GUYS A LITTLE BETTER.

LET'S GET TO KNOW THESE GUYS A LITTLE BETTER. >> HEY, I'M DANE.

LITTLE BETTER. >> HEY, I'M DANE. I BELIEVE IN A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO

>> HEY, I'M DANE. I BELIEVE IN A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO BOOGIE.

I BELIEVE IN A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO BOOGIE. AND I'M SUPER PSYCHED ABOUT YOU.

BOOGIE. AND I'M SUPER PSYCHED ABOUT YOU. >> I'M KEITH.

AND I'M SUPER PSYCHED ABOUT YOU. >> I'M KEITH. I'M A PROFESSIONAL RAT WRANGLER

>> I'M KEITH. I'M A PROFESSIONAL RAT WRANGLER WITH COVID.

I'M A PROFESSIONAL RAT WRANGLER WITH COVID. [ LAUGHTER ]

WITH COVID. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M WORRIED THAT I'M TOO GOOD

[ LAUGHTER ] I'M WORRIED THAT I'M TOO GOOD WITH KELLY, BUT I AM IN LOVE

I'M WORRIED THAT I'M TOO GOOD WITH KELLY, BUT I AM IN LOVE WITH HER, AND I'M WILLING TO SEE

WITH KELLY, BUT I AM IN LOVE WITH HER, AND I'M WILLING TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES.

WITH HER, AND I'M WILLING TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES. >> I'M EVAN.

WHERE THIS GOES. >> I'M EVAN. I WORK OUT FIVE TIMES A WEEK.

>> I'M EVAN. I WORK OUT FIVE TIMES A WEEK. MUCH LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE

I WORK OUT FIVE TIMES A WEEK. MUCH LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE PODCASTERS, I ONLY DO ARMS WHICH

MUCH LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE PODCASTERS, I ONLY DO ARMS WHICH IS WHY I LOOK SO WEIRD.

PODCASTERS, I ONLY DO ARMS WHICH IS WHY I LOOK SO WEIRD. [ LAUGHTER ]

IS WHY I LOOK SO WEIRD. [ LAUGHTER ] AND YEAH, I'D LIKE TO DATE

[ LAUGHTER ] AND YEAH, I'D LIKE TO DATE KELLY.

AND YEAH, I'D LIKE TO DATE KELLY. >> THAT'S GREAT.

KELLY. >> THAT'S GREAT. A REMINDER, KELLY IS NOT

>> THAT'S GREAT. A REMINDER, KELLY IS NOT INTERESTED.

A REMINDER, KELLY IS NOT INTERESTED. >> THEN WHY ARE WE, LIKE,

INTERESTED. >> THEN WHY ARE WE, LIKE, VIBING?

>> THEN WHY ARE WE, LIKE, VIBING? [ LAUGHTER ]

VIBING? [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. TIME FOR OUR FIRST CHALLENGE.

>> OKAY. TIME FOR OUR FIRST CHALLENGE. THREE MINUTES AT THE DELI.

TIME FOR OUR FIRST CHALLENGE. THREE MINUTES AT THE DELI. KELLY IS WAITING FOR HER BAGEL.

THREE MINUTES AT THE DELI. KELLY IS WAITING FOR HER BAGEL. SHE'S WEARING HEADPHONES AND

KELLY IS WAITING FOR HER BAGEL. SHE'S WEARING HEADPHONES AND STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD.

SHE'S WEARING HEADPHONES AND STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD. WHAT DO YOU DO?

STARING STRAIGHT AHEAD. WHAT DO YOU DO? >> EXCUSE ME, I'M KEITH.

WHAT DO YOU DO? >> EXCUSE ME, I'M KEITH. I'M KEITH.

>> EXCUSE ME, I'M KEITH. I'M KEITH. >> WHAT?

I'M KEITH. >> WHAT? >> I'M KEITH.

>> WHAT? >> I'M KEITH. DO YOU HAVE A NAME?

>> I'M KEITH. DO YOU HAVE A NAME? >> OH.

DO YOU HAVE A NAME? >> OH. I'M KELLY.

>> OH. I'M KELLY. >> OH, COOL.

I'M KELLY. >> OH, COOL. DO YOU WANT TO GET A DRINK RIGHT

>> OH, COOL. DO YOU WANT TO GET A DRINK RIGHT NOW?

DO YOU WANT TO GET A DRINK RIGHT NOW? I KNOW ALL THE SPOTS THAT ARE

NOW? I KNOW ALL THE SPOTS THAT ARE OPEN IN THE MORNING.

I KNOW ALL THE SPOTS THAT ARE OPEN IN THE MORNING. [ LAUGHTER ]

OPEN IN THE MORNING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, THANK YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> NO, THANK YOU. >> MAN, YOU'RE SO MYSTERIOUS.

>> NO, THANK YOU. >> MAN, YOU'RE SO MYSTERIOUS. I'M LIKE -- I DON'T EVEN KNOW

>> MAN, YOU'RE SO MYSTERIOUS. I'M LIKE -- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME, YOU KNOW?

I'M LIKE -- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME, YOU KNOW? >> I SAID IT'S KELLY.

HER NAME, YOU KNOW? >> I SAID IT'S KELLY. >> OH, YEAH, I FORGOT.

>> I SAID IT'S KELLY. >> OH, YEAH, I FORGOT. [ BUZZER ]

>> OH, YEAH, I FORGOT. [ BUZZER ] >> KEITH, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT

[ BUZZER ] >> KEITH, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HOW THAT WENT?

>> KEITH, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HOW THAT WENT? >> REALLY GOOD, WE HAVE PLANS

HOW THAT WENT? >> REALLY GOOD, WE HAVE PLANS LATER.

>> REALLY GOOD, WE HAVE PLANS LATER. >> NO, WE DON'T.

LATER. >> NO, WE DON'T. >> NO, YOU DON'T.

>> NO, WE DON'T. >> NO, YOU DON'T. KELLY, YOU CAN COME BACK.

>> NO, YOU DON'T. KELLY, YOU CAN COME BACK. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.

KELLY, YOU CAN COME BACK. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. KELLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT. KELLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR OUR BACHELORS?

KELLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR OUR BACHELORS? >> YES.

FOR OUR BACHELORS? >> YES. PERSONALITY'S VERY IMPORTANT TO

>> YES. PERSONALITY'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME IN A PERSON I'LL BE ALONE

PERSONALITY'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME IN A PERSON I'LL BE ALONE WITH IN PUBLIC, EVEN BRIEFLY.

ME IN A PERSON I'LL BE ALONE WITH IN PUBLIC, EVEN BRIEFLY. TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT

WITH IN PUBLIC, EVEN BRIEFLY. TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF.

TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF. >> I'M A FAMILY MAN.

YOURSELF. >> I'M A FAMILY MAN. MY FAMILY'S MAD AT ME BECAUSE I

>> I'M A FAMILY MAN. MY FAMILY'S MAD AT ME BECAUSE I MOVE MY COMPUTER TO THE GARAGE,

MY FAMILY'S MAD AT ME BECAUSE I MOVE MY COMPUTER TO THE GARAGE, AND EVERY TIME I COME OUT, MY

MOVE MY COMPUTER TO THE GARAGE, AND EVERY TIME I COME OUT, MY OPINIONS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

AND EVERY TIME I COME OUT, MY OPINIONS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT. [ LAUGHTER ]

OPINIONS ARE A LITTLE DIFFERENT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> EVAN?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> EVAN? >> I'M 6 FOOT NEGATIVE 3.

>> EVAN? >> I'M 6 FOOT NEGATIVE 3. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> I'M 6 FOOT NEGATIVE 3. [ LAUGHTER ] EVERY FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT,

[ LAUGHTER ] EVERY FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT, WAITRESS, NURSE, DENTIST, AND

EVERY FEMALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT, WAITRESS, NURSE, DENTIST, AND FEMALE BARTENDER I'VE EVER MET

WAITRESS, NURSE, DENTIST, AND FEMALE BARTENDER I'VE EVER MET HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME.

FEMALE BARTENDER I'VE EVER MET HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME. AND -- YEAH, I'M DATING KELLY.

HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME. AND -- YEAH, I'M DATING KELLY. >> YOU'RE NOT.

AND -- YEAH, I'M DATING KELLY. >> YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE NOT DATING KELLY.

>> YOU'RE NOT. YOU'RE NOT DATING KELLY. RIGHT?

YOU'RE NOT DATING KELLY. RIGHT? DANE?

RIGHT? DANE? >> WELL -- MY HEIGHT IS 5 FOOT 0

DANE? >> WELL -- MY HEIGHT IS 5 FOOT 0 BUT MY PENIS IS 5 FOOT 0 --

>> WELL -- MY HEIGHT IS 5 FOOT 0 BUT MY PENIS IS 5 FOOT 0 -- >> NO, NO, NO -- STOP.

BUT MY PENIS IS 5 FOOT 0 -- >> NO, NO, NO -- STOP. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> NO, NO, NO -- STOP. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I FORGOT TO SAY MY HEIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> I FORGOT TO SAY MY HEIGHT. I'M 6'5" IF YOU MEASURE FROM THE

>> I FORGOT TO SAY MY HEIGHT. I'M 6'5" IF YOU MEASURE FROM THE CEILING.

I'M 6'5" IF YOU MEASURE FROM THE CEILING. [ LAUGHTER ]

CEILING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO SAY

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO SAY YOUR HEIGHT.

>> YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO SAY YOUR HEIGHT. >> BUT -- I THINK ABOUT MY

YOUR HEIGHT. >> BUT -- I THINK ABOUT MY HEIGHT LIKE A THOUSAND TIMES A

>> BUT -- I THINK ABOUT MY HEIGHT LIKE A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY.

HEIGHT LIKE A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY. >> WELL, HEIGHT -- OKAY.

DAY. >> WELL, HEIGHT -- OKAY. HEIGHT IS A MEDIUM IMPORTANT TO

>> WELL, HEIGHT -- OKAY. HEIGHT IS A MEDIUM IMPORTANT TO WOMEN AT MOST.

HEIGHT IS A MEDIUM IMPORTANT TO WOMEN AT MOST. >> THEN EXPLAIN MY WHOLE WORLD

WOMEN AT MOST. >> THEN EXPLAIN MY WHOLE WORLD TO YOU.

>> THEN EXPLAIN MY WHOLE WORLD TO YOU. [ LAUGHTER ]

TO YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] >> NEXT QUESTION.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> NEXT QUESTION. WHY DO YOU THINK KELLY DOESN'T

>> NEXT QUESTION. WHY DO YOU THINK KELLY DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU?

WHY DO YOU THINK KELLY DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU? >> THIS COULD BE WRONG.

WANT TO DATE YOU? >> THIS COULD BE WRONG. I'M JUST LIKE WORKING AN IDEA

>> THIS COULD BE WRONG. I'M JUST LIKE WORKING AN IDEA OUT ALOUD.

I'M JUST LIKE WORKING AN IDEA OUT ALOUD. SHE'S A BITCH?

OUT ALOUD. SHE'S A BITCH? [ LAUGHTER ]

SHE'S A BITCH? [ LAUGHTER ] >> NO!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> NO! >> SHE'S CONFUSED BECAUSE SHE'S

>> NO! >> SHE'S CONFUSED BECAUSE SHE'S SICK?

>> SHE'S CONFUSED BECAUSE SHE'S SICK? [ LAUGHTER ]

SICK? [ LAUGHTER ] >> THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR

[ LAUGHTER ] >> THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR IS, KELLY IS A MARRIED LESBIAN

>> THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR IS, KELLY IS A MARRIED LESBIAN ON AN ERRAND.

IS, KELLY IS A MARRIED LESBIAN ON AN ERRAND. [ LAUGHTER ]

ON AN ERRAND. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I'M ON AN ERRAND TO DATE

[ LAUGHTER ] >> I'M ON AN ERRAND TO DATE

>> I'M ON AN ERRAND TO DATE KELLY.

KELLY. >> KELLY DOESN'T WANT TO DATE

KELLY. >> KELLY DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU.

>> KELLY DOESN'T WANT TO DATE YOU. >> WHATEVER, SHE'S PROBABLY A

YOU. >> WHATEVER, SHE'S PROBABLY A LESBIAN.

>> WHATEVER, SHE'S PROBABLY A LESBIAN. >> SHE IS A LESBIAN.

LESBIAN. >> SHE IS A LESBIAN. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> SHE IS A LESBIAN. [ LAUGHTER ] SHE IS A LESBIAN, SHE SAID THAT.

[ LAUGHTER ] SHE IS A LESBIAN, SHE SAID THAT. >> I WAS GOING TO SAY IT ONE

SHE IS A LESBIAN, SHE SAID THAT. >> I WAS GOING TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME. SHE HASN'T MET ME THOUGH, NHH!

MORE TIME. SHE HASN'T MET ME THOUGH, NHH! >> SHE HAS.

SHE HASN'T MET ME THOUGH, NHH! >> SHE HAS. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> SHE HAS. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> THANK YOU, EVERYONE, FOR BEING HERE TODAY. WE ALL KNOW MY HUSBAND WAS AN

BEING HERE TODAY. WE ALL KNOW MY HUSBAND WAS AN ECCENTRIC MAN.

WE ALL KNOW MY HUSBAND WAS AN ECCENTRIC MAN. HE WAS DEVOTED TO HIS WORK.

ECCENTRIC MAN. HE WAS DEVOTED TO HIS WORK. AND HE MADE UNBELIEVABLE THINGS.

HE WAS DEVOTED TO HIS WORK. AND HE MADE UNBELIEVABLE THINGS. EVEN AT THE END, HE SPENT HIS

AND HE MADE UNBELIEVABLE THINGS. EVEN AT THE END, HE SPENT HIS FINAL DAYS ALONE IN HIS WORKSHOP

EVEN AT THE END, HE SPENT HIS FINAL DAYS ALONE IN HIS WORKSHOP BUILDING GOD KNOWS WHAT.

FINAL DAYS ALONE IN HIS WORKSHOP BUILDING GOD KNOWS WHAT. WHAT CAN I SAY?

BUILDING GOD KNOWS WHAT. WHAT CAN I SAY? MY HUSBAND LOVED HIS INVENTIONS.

WHAT CAN I SAY? MY HUSBAND LOVED HIS INVENTIONS. AND HE LIKED HIS WIFE.

HI, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? PD-44. HOW ABOUT I CALL YOU PD?

PD-44. HOW ABOUT I CALL YOU PD? SO, WHAT DO YOU DO, PD?

HOW ABOUT I CALL YOU PD? SO, WHAT DO YOU DO, PD? OH, NOT SURE, HUH?

SO, WHAT DO YOU DO, PD? OH, NOT SURE, HUH? WELL, PD, LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST

OH, NOT SURE, HUH? WELL, PD, LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST ME AND YOU, BUDDY.

WELL, PD, LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST ME AND YOU, BUDDY. THINK YOU CAN HELP ME WASH

ME AND YOU, BUDDY. THINK YOU CAN HELP ME WASH THESE?

THINK YOU CAN HELP ME WASH THESE? STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR

THESE? STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR PURPOSE IS, HUH?

STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR PURPOSE IS, HUH? THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

PURPOSE IS, HUH? THAT MAKES TWO OF US. YEAH.

THAT MAKES TWO OF US. YEAH. I MISS HIM TOO.

YEAH. I MISS HIM TOO. NOT MUCH OF A DINNER, IS IT?

I MISS HIM TOO. NOT MUCH OF A DINNER, IS IT? YOU KNOW, I LIKE WHERE YOUR

NOT MUCH OF A DINNER, IS IT? YOU KNOW, I LIKE WHERE YOUR HEAD'S AT.

YOU KNOW, I LIKE WHERE YOUR HEAD'S AT. HM?

HEAD'S AT. HM? IT'S TIME, PD.

HE IS KIND OF CUTE. IT'S A MATCH.

I'VE HAD A WONDERFUL NIGHT. >> ME, TOO. >> WOULD YOU MAYBE LIKE TO COME

>> ME, TOO. >> WOULD YOU MAYBE LIKE TO COME IN FOR A NIGHTCAP?

>> WOULD YOU MAYBE LIKE TO COME IN FOR A NIGHTCAP? >> I'D LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.

IN FOR A NIGHTCAP? >> I'D LIKE THAT VERY MUCH. >> GOOD.

>> I'D LIKE THAT VERY MUCH. >> GOOD. BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE I WANT

>> GOOD. BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO MEET.

BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE I WANT YOU TO MEET. I'M HOME!

YOU TO MEET. I'M HOME! PD, THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND.

I'M HOME! PD, THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND. >> HI, PD, MY NAME'S TOM.

PD, THIS IS MY NEW FRIEND. >> HI, PD, MY NAME'S TOM. I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU --

>> HI, PD, MY NAME'S TOM. I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU -- WHAT?

I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU -- WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! OH, MY PENIS!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! OH, MY PENIS! YOU RIPPED MY [ BLEEP ] PENIS

OH, MY PENIS! YOU RIPPED MY [ BLEEP ] PENIS OFF?

YOU RIPPED MY [ BLEEP ] PENIS OFF? >> PD STANDS FOR PENIS

OFF? >> PD STANDS FOR PENIS DESTROYER?

>> PD STANDS FOR PENIS DESTROYER? [ LAUGHTER ]

DESTROYER? [ LAUGHTER ] >> GREAT.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> GREAT. SHOT MY PENIS TO THE MOON.

>> GREAT. SHOT MY PENIS TO THE MOON. THAT'S AWESOME.

SHOT MY PENIS TO THE MOON. THAT'S AWESOME. OH, GOD!

THAT'S AWESOME. OH, GOD! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

OH, GOD! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! >> HE DID LOVE ME.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! >> HE DID LOVE ME. MY HUSBAND LOVED ME AFTER ALL.

>> HE DID LOVE ME. MY HUSBAND LOVED ME AFTER ALL. ¶¶

MY HUSBAND LOVED ME AFTER ALL. ¶¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

¶¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> NOW "EL CORAZON QUE NO

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> NOW "EL CORAZON QUE NO SIENTE."

>>> NOW "EL CORAZON QUE NO SIENTE." >> HOW DARE YOU DRINK WINE WHEN

SIENTE." >> HOW DARE YOU DRINK WINE WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH MY SON?

>> HOW DARE YOU DRINK WINE WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH MY SON? >> I'M NOT PREGNANT WITH YOUR

YOU'RE PREGNANT WITH MY SON? >> I'M NOT PREGNANT WITH YOUR SON, BECAUSE I SLEPT WITH MY

>> I'M NOT PREGNANT WITH YOUR SON, BECAUSE I SLEPT WITH MY FATHER.

SON, BECAUSE I SLEPT WITH MY FATHER. >> WHICH MEANS THAT BABY IN YOUR

FATHER. >> WHICH MEANS THAT BABY IN YOUR BELLY IS -- ME!

>> WHICH MEANS THAT BABY IN YOUR BELLY IS -- ME! [ LAUGHTER ]

BELLY IS -- ME! [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND CUT!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND CUT! INCREDIBLE TAKE, RODRIGO,

>> AND CUT! INCREDIBLE TAKE, RODRIGO, SELENA.

INCREDIBLE TAKE, RODRIGO, SELENA. YOUR CHEMISTRY IS FANTASTICO.

SELENA. YOUR CHEMISTRY IS FANTASTICO. I CAN SEE WHY MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN

YOUR CHEMISTRY IS FANTASTICO. I CAN SEE WHY MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN GET HOT AND BOTHERED.

I CAN SEE WHY MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN GET HOT AND BOTHERED. WHAT IS THE CITY CALLED AGAIN?

GET HOT AND BOTHERED. WHAT IS THE CITY CALLED AGAIN? >> GUADALAJARA.

WHAT IS THE CITY CALLED AGAIN? >> GUADALAJARA. >> YES.

>> GUADALAJARA. >> YES. DIRECTING "EL CORAZON DE NO

>> YES. DIRECTING "EL CORAZON DE NO SIENTE."

DIRECTING "EL CORAZON DE NO SIENTE." FOR THE NEXT SCENE, OUR FRIENDS

SIENTE." FOR THE NEXT SCENE, OUR FRIENDS AT SPRITE HAVE PAID FOR PRODUCT

FOR THE NEXT SCENE, OUR FRIENDS AT SPRITE HAVE PAID FOR PRODUCT PLACEMENT.

AT SPRITE HAVE PAID FOR PRODUCT PLACEMENT. >> YES, WE SURE HAVE.

PLACEMENT. >> YES, WE SURE HAVE. HI, TODD TUCKER AND SHAYNA TINE

>> YES, WE SURE HAVE. HI, TODD TUCKER AND SHAYNA TINE FROM SPRITE.

HI, TODD TUCKER AND SHAYNA TINE FROM SPRITE. >> YES, WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE'RE

FROM SPRITE. >> YES, WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE'RE DEBUTING A BRAND-NEW FLAVOR.

>> YES, WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE'RE DEBUTING A BRAND-NEW FLAVOR. SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO.

DEBUTING A BRAND-NEW FLAVOR. SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO. AND WE'D LOVE IF YOU GUYS WORKED

SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO. AND WE'D LOVE IF YOU GUYS WORKED IT INTO THE SCENE IN WHATEVER

AND WE'D LOVE IF YOU GUYS WORKED IT INTO THE SCENE IN WHATEVER WAY MAKES SENSE.

IT INTO THE SCENE IN WHATEVER WAY MAKES SENSE. >> WELL, THESE TWO ARE AMAZING.

WAY MAKES SENSE. >> WELL, THESE TWO ARE AMAZING. I'M SURE THEY CAN HANDLE IT.

>> WELL, THESE TWO ARE AMAZING. I'M SURE THEY CAN HANDLE IT. I'LL JUST FLY THAT SPRITE BOTTLE

I'M SURE THEY CAN HANDLE IT. I'LL JUST FLY THAT SPRITE BOTTLE IN TO YOU.

I'LL JUST FLY THAT SPRITE BOTTLE IN TO YOU. LET'S GO FROM THE TOP.

IN TO YOU. LET'S GO FROM THE TOP. "EL CORAZON" SEASON 3 EPISODE

LET'S GO FROM THE TOP. "EL CORAZON" SEASON 3 EPISODE 6,095.

"EL CORAZON" SEASON 3 EPISODE 6,095. [ LAUGHTER ]

6,095. [ LAUGHTER ] AND ACTION!

[ LAUGHTER ] AND ACTION! >> GUSTAVO, YOU ARE ALIVE!

AND ACTION! >> GUSTAVO, YOU ARE ALIVE! I THOUGHT YOU HAD DIED.

>> GUSTAVO, YOU ARE ALIVE! I THOUGHT YOU HAD DIED. >> NO.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD DIED. >> NO. I DID NOT HAVE DIED.

>> NO. I DID NOT HAVE DIED. IT WAS MY TWIN BROTHER WHO

I DID NOT HAVE DIED. IT WAS MY TWIN BROTHER WHO EXPLODED.

IT WAS MY TWIN BROTHER WHO EXPLODED. >> OH!

EXPLODED. >> OH! >> BUT I CAN SEE THERE'S ALREADY

>> OH! >> BUT I CAN SEE THERE'S ALREADY BEEN ANOTHER MAN IN THIS HOUSE.

>> BUT I CAN SEE THERE'S ALREADY BEEN ANOTHER MAN IN THIS HOUSE. A SEX CRIMINAL.

BEEN ANOTHER MAN IN THIS HOUSE. A SEX CRIMINAL. >> HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?

A SEX CRIMINAL. >> HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? >> BECAUSE ONLY AN OBESE PERVERT

>> HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? >> BECAUSE ONLY AN OBESE PERVERT WOULD DRINK THIS.

>> BECAUSE ONLY AN OBESE PERVERT WOULD DRINK THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]

WOULD DRINK THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] A SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO.

[ LAUGHTER ] A SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO. IT'S BAD BUT THEY PAY FOR THIS.

A SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO. IT'S BAD BUT THEY PAY FOR THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S BAD BUT THEY PAY FOR THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I'M SORRY, CAN WE CUT?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> I'M SORRY, CAN WE CUT? >> YES, YEAH, NO, I AGREE.

>> I'M SORRY, CAN WE CUT? >> YES, YEAH, NO, I AGREE. I AGREE.

>> YES, YEAH, NO, I AGREE. I AGREE. THAT WAS ELECTRIC.

I AGREE. THAT WAS ELECTRIC. EVERY ABUELA WATCHING THIS IS

THAT WAS ELECTRIC. EVERY ABUELA WATCHING THIS IS GOING TO BE RUBBING IT OUT LIKE

EVERY ABUELA WATCHING THIS IS GOING TO BE RUBBING IT OUT LIKE AN '80s DEEJAY.

GOING TO BE RUBBING IT OUT LIKE AN '80s DEEJAY. [ LAUGHTER ]

AN '80s DEEJAY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT. BUT MAYBE IN THIS NEXT TAKE, YOU

>> RIGHT. BUT MAYBE IN THIS NEXT TAKE, YOU DON'T SAY THAT ONLY A PERVERT

BUT MAYBE IN THIS NEXT TAKE, YOU DON'T SAY THAT ONLY A PERVERT WOULD DRINK OUR PRODUCT?

DON'T SAY THAT ONLY A PERVERT WOULD DRINK OUR PRODUCT? >> YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK

WOULD DRINK OUR PRODUCT? >> YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE SPRITE.

>> YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE SPRITE. MAYBE JUST TAKE A SIP OF IT.

ABOUT THE SPRITE. MAYBE JUST TAKE A SIP OF IT. >> SO MAYBE WE DON'T TALK ABOUT

MAYBE JUST TAKE A SIP OF IT. >> SO MAYBE WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE SPRITE, WE JUST TAKE A SIP

>> SO MAYBE WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE SPRITE, WE JUST TAKE A SIP OF IT?

THE SPRITE, WE JUST TAKE A SIP OF IT? [ LAUGHTER ]

OF IT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> EXACTLY, YEAH.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> EXACTLY, YEAH. WE JUST WANT TO SEE THE

>> EXACTLY, YEAH. WE JUST WANT TO SEE THE CHARACTERS WE LOVE ENJOYING THE

WE JUST WANT TO SEE THE CHARACTERS WE LOVE ENJOYING THE DRINK WE ADORE.

CHARACTERS WE LOVE ENJOYING THE DRINK WE ADORE. >> YEP.

DRINK WE ADORE. >> YEP. AND ACTION!

>> YEP. AND ACTION! >> GUSTAVO, I'M SO HAPPY IT WAS

AND ACTION! >> GUSTAVO, I'M SO HAPPY IT WAS YOUR TWIN BROTHER WHO HAD

>> GUSTAVO, I'M SO HAPPY IT WAS YOUR TWIN BROTHER WHO HAD EXPLODED AND NOT YOU.

YOUR TWIN BROTHER WHO HAD EXPLODED AND NOT YOU. HERE, DRINK THIS.

EXPLODED AND NOT YOU. HERE, DRINK THIS. >> OH!

HERE, DRINK THIS. >> OH! AGHH!

>> OH! AGHH! IT'S POISON!

AGHH! IT'S POISON! [ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S POISON! [ LAUGHTER ] YOU POISONED ME!

[ LAUGHTER ] YOU POISONED ME! >> IT IS NOT POISON, WATCH!

YOU POISONED ME! >> IT IS NOT POISON, WATCH! IT IS POISON!

>> IT IS NOT POISON, WATCH! IT IS POISON! >> HOW DARE YOU SPIT IN MY FACE?

IT IS POISON! >> HOW DARE YOU SPIT IN MY FACE? >> OH!

>> HOW DARE YOU SPIT IN MY FACE? >> OH! [ LAUGHTER ]

>> OH! [ LAUGHTER ] >> DIOS MIO, THE SPRITE HAS MADE

[ LAUGHTER ] >> DIOS MIO, THE SPRITE HAS MADE ME HIT A WOMAN!

>> DIOS MIO, THE SPRITE HAS MADE ME HIT A WOMAN! >> CUT, CUT!

ME HIT A WOMAN! >> CUT, CUT! >> YEAH, I AGREE.

>> CUT, CUT! >> YEAH, I AGREE. I AGREE, THAT DID NOT WORK.

>> YEAH, I AGREE. I AGREE, THAT DID NOT WORK. I AM OVER HERE AS SOFT AS A

I AGREE, THAT DID NOT WORK. I AM OVER HERE AS SOFT AS A ROCK.

I AM OVER HERE AS SOFT AS A ROCK. [ LAUGHTER ]

ROCK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> GUYS, I'M SORRY, I HATE TO

[ LAUGHTER ] >> GUYS, I'M SORRY, I HATE TO SOUND LIKE A CORPORATE DRONE BUT

>> GUYS, I'M SORRY, I HATE TO SOUND LIKE A CORPORATE DRONE BUT WE REALLY NEED YOU TO SAY THAT

SOUND LIKE A CORPORATE DRONE BUT WE REALLY NEED YOU TO SAY THAT THE SPRITE TASTES GOOD.

WE REALLY NEED YOU TO SAY THAT THE SPRITE TASTES GOOD. >> YES, BUT THE PROBLEM IS, IT

THE SPRITE TASTES GOOD. >> YES, BUT THE PROBLEM IS, IT TASTES BAD.

>> YES, BUT THE PROBLEM IS, IT TASTES BAD. >> YES, WHAT SHE'S SAYING IF YOU

TASTES BAD. >> YES, WHAT SHE'S SAYING IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THE SPRITE

>> YES, WHAT SHE'S SAYING IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THE SPRITE DOESN'T TASTE GOOD, THE TASTES

DON'T UNDERSTAND, THE SPRITE DOESN'T TASTE GOOD, THE TASTES BAD.

DOESN'T TASTE GOOD, THE TASTES BAD. [ LAUGHTER ]

BAD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WE KNOW IT TASTES BAD, WE

[ LAUGHTER ] >> WE KNOW IT TASTES BAD, WE KNOW.

>> WE KNOW IT TASTES BAD, WE KNOW. WE WANTED IT TO TASTE GOOD AND

KNOW. WE WANTED IT TO TASTE GOOD AND IT DOESN'T.

WE WANTED IT TO TASTE GOOD AND IT DOESN'T. WE KNOW!

IT DOESN'T. WE KNOW! WE USED A.I. TO MAKE IT, OKAY?

WE KNOW! WE USED A.I. TO MAKE IT, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ]

WE USED A.I. TO MAKE IT, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ] FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY,

[ LAUGHTER ] FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, A.I. SCREWED UP.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY, A.I. SCREWED UP. [ LAUGHTER ]

A.I. SCREWED UP. [ LAUGHTER ] WE STILL HAVE TO SELL THE

[ LAUGHTER ] WE STILL HAVE TO SELL THE PRODUCT, YEAH?

WE STILL HAVE TO SELL THE PRODUCT, YEAH? >> OKAY, OKAY.

PRODUCT, YEAH? >> OKAY, OKAY. I HAVE AN IDEA.

>> OKAY, OKAY. I HAVE AN IDEA. FOLLOW ME, COME ON.

I HAVE AN IDEA. FOLLOW ME, COME ON. >> OH, OH.

FOLLOW ME, COME ON. >> OH, OH. >> YEAH, PERFECT.

>> OH, OH. >> YEAH, PERFECT. OKAY.

>> YEAH, PERFECT. OKAY. OKAY.

OKAY. OKAY. YES.

OKAY. YES. READY?

YES. READY? >> SI.

READY? >> SI. >> AND ACTION!

>> SI. >> AND ACTION! YOU'RE PREGNANT?

>> AND ACTION! YOU'RE PREGNANT? HUH?

YOU'RE PREGNANT? HUH? >> IT'S TRUE.

HUH? >> IT'S TRUE. BUT IT IS NOT YOURS.

>> IT'S TRUE. BUT IT IS NOT YOURS. IT IS YOUR EVIL TWIN BROTHER'S.

BUT IT IS NOT YOURS. IT IS YOUR EVIL TWIN BROTHER'S. >> OH, THEN THIS CHILD CANNOT BE

IT IS YOUR EVIL TWIN BROTHER'S. >> OH, THEN THIS CHILD CANNOT BE BORN.

>> OH, THEN THIS CHILD CANNOT BE BORN. WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM.

BORN. WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. [ LAUGHTER ]

WE HAVE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM. [ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW WHAT TO DO!

[ LAUGHTER ] I KNOW WHAT TO DO! DRINK THIS.

I KNOW WHAT TO DO! DRINK THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]

DRINK THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.

[ LAUGHTER ] THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. >> HOW DARE YOU!

THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. >> HOW DARE YOU! >> OH, OH!

>> HOW DARE YOU! >> OH, OH! OH, MY GOD!

>> OH, OH! OH, MY GOD! IT BURNS!

OH, MY GOD! IT BURNS! THE SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO

IT BURNS! THE SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO BURNED MY BODY!

THE SPRITE CHERRY LIME HABANERO BURNED MY BODY! IT IS CAUSING ME TO DIE!

BURNED MY BODY! IT IS CAUSING ME TO DIE! [ LAUGHTER ]

IT IS CAUSING ME TO DIE! [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND CUT!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> AND CUT! OH, THAT WAS FANTASTIC.

>> AND CUT! OH, THAT WAS FANTASTIC. >> I AGREE.

OH, THAT WAS FANTASTIC. >> I AGREE. I LIKE HOW THE SPRITE KILLED

>> I AGREE. I LIKE HOW THE SPRITE KILLED HIM.

I LIKE HOW THE SPRITE KILLED HIM. [ LAUGHTER ]

HIM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT? HOW COULD YOU LIKE THAT?

>> WHAT? HOW COULD YOU LIKE THAT? >> BECAUSE.

HOW COULD YOU LIKE THAT? >> BECAUSE. I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM.

>> BECAUSE. I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. THIS WHOLE TIME, I WORK FOR --

I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. THIS WHOLE TIME, I WORK FOR -- [ LAUGHTER ]

THIS WHOLE TIME, I WORK FOR -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH! >> OH!

>> OH! >> OH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GRACIE ABRAMS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

¶¶ ¶¶ ¶ I'M A CRACK

¶¶ ¶ I'M A CRACK IN THE PAVEMENT

¶ I'M A CRACK IN THE PAVEMENT I'M A SLIPKNOT ¶

IN THE PAVEMENT I'M A SLIPKNOT ¶ ¶ I'M AFRAID THAT MY

I'M A SLIPKNOT ¶ ¶ I'M AFRAID THAT MY FORTRESS IS A GLASS BOX

¶ I'M AFRAID THAT MY FORTRESS IS A GLASS BOX I SHOULD KNOW WHAT

FORTRESS IS A GLASS BOX I SHOULD KNOW WHAT I'M PLAYIN' BUT I FORGOT ¶

I SHOULD KNOW WHAT I'M PLAYIN' BUT I FORGOT ¶ ¶ FELT GOOD FOR A DAY

I'M PLAYIN' BUT I FORGOT ¶ ¶ FELT GOOD FOR A DAY BUT THAT STOPPED

¶ FELT GOOD FOR A DAY BUT THAT STOPPED AND I ONCE IT SAW CLEARLY

BUT THAT STOPPED AND I ONCE IT SAW CLEARLY BUT IT'S BLOODSHOT ¶

AND I ONCE IT SAW CLEARLY BUT IT'S BLOODSHOT ¶ ¶ AND I WANT YOU SO BADLY

BUT IT'S BLOODSHOT ¶ ¶ AND I WANT YOU SO BADLY BUT I CLOSE OFF

¶ AND I WANT YOU SO BADLY BUT I CLOSE OFF LIKE I THOUGHT WE'D GET

BUT I CLOSE OFF LIKE I THOUGHT WE'D GET MARRIED BUT I GUESS NOT ¶

LIKE I THOUGHT WE'D GET MARRIED BUT I GUESS NOT ¶ ¶ NOW YOU CAN WATCH ME

MARRIED BUT I GUESS NOT ¶ ¶ NOW YOU CAN WATCH ME HIT THE WALL

¶ NOW YOU CAN WATCH ME HIT THE WALL HIT THE WALL

HIT THE WALL HIT THE WALL I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶

HIT THE WALL I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶ ¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM

I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶ ¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM YOU CAN SOLVE

¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM YOU CAN SOLVE WEIGHING THE COST

YOU CAN SOLVE WEIGHING THE COST IMPOSSIBLE ¶

WEIGHING THE COST IMPOSSIBLE ¶ ¶ I HIT THE WALL

IMPOSSIBLE ¶ ¶ I HIT THE WALL I HIT THE WALL

¶ I HIT THE WALL I HIT THE WALL I TRY TO BE VIOLENT

I HIT THE WALL I TRY TO BE VIOLENT BUT I GET CAUGHT ¶

I TRY TO BE VIOLENT BUT I GET CAUGHT ¶ ¶ A ROOM FULL OF DOCTORS

BUT I GET CAUGHT ¶ ¶ A ROOM FULL OF DOCTORS AND AN INKBLOT

¶ A ROOM FULL OF DOCTORS AND AN INKBLOT I'M DRAWN INTO HEADLIGHTS

AND AN INKBLOT I'M DRAWN INTO HEADLIGHTS HAVE A BLIND SPOT ¶

I'M DRAWN INTO HEADLIGHTS HAVE A BLIND SPOT ¶ ¶ PULL OVER AND WAIT

HAVE A BLIND SPOT ¶ ¶ PULL OVER AND WAIT FOR TOO LONG

¶ PULL OVER AND WAIT FOR TOO LONG I WANNA BE STABLE

FOR TOO LONG I WANNA BE STABLE BUT I DO CAVE ¶

I WANNA BE STABLE BUT I DO CAVE ¶ ¶ I USE WHEN I'M ABLE

BUT I DO CAVE ¶ ¶ I USE WHEN I'M ABLE I DOWNGRADE

¶ I USE WHEN I'M ABLE I DOWNGRADE I BARELY DESERVE IT

I DOWNGRADE I BARELY DESERVE IT IF YOU DO STAY ¶

I BARELY DESERVE IT IF YOU DO STAY ¶ ¶ I WISH YOU WOULD ANYWAY

IF YOU DO STAY ¶ ¶ I WISH YOU WOULD ANYWAY BUT I HIT THE WALL

¶ I WISH YOU WOULD ANYWAY BUT I HIT THE WALL I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶

BUT I HIT THE WALL I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶ ¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM

I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶ ¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM YOU CAN SOLVE

¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM YOU CAN SOLVE WEIGHING THE COST

YOU CAN SOLVE WEIGHING THE COST IMPOSSIBLE ¶

WEIGHING THE COST IMPOSSIBLE ¶ ¶ I HIT THE WALL

IMPOSSIBLE ¶ ¶ I HIT THE WALL I HIT THE WALL

¶ I HIT THE WALL I HIT THE WALL A CASE OF YOU PLAYING

I HIT THE WALL A CASE OF YOU PLAYING IN THE HALLWAY ¶

A CASE OF YOU PLAYING IN THE HALLWAY ¶ ¶ HALLUCINATIONS THAT I

IN THE HALLWAY ¶ ¶ HALLUCINATIONS THAT I DOWNPLAY ¶

¶ HALLUCINATIONS THAT I DOWNPLAY ¶ ¶ I'M NUMB 'TIL I'M ACHING

DOWNPLAY ¶ ¶ I'M NUMB 'TIL I'M ACHING FOR THE SHARP PAIN

¶ I'M NUMB 'TIL I'M ACHING FOR THE SHARP PAIN WATCH MY BLADE RICOCHET ¶

FOR THE SHARP PAIN WATCH MY BLADE RICOCHET ¶ ¶ TIME

WATCH MY BLADE RICOCHET ¶ ¶ TIME FUNNY AIN'T IT

¶ TIME FUNNY AIN'T IT FLASHBACKS OF MY LIFE ¶

FUNNY AIN'T IT FLASHBACKS OF MY LIFE ¶ ¶ WHAT A WASTE OH

FLASHBACKS OF MY LIFE ¶ ¶ WHAT A WASTE OH OH WHAT A SHAME AT NIGHT ¶

¶ WHAT A WASTE OH OH WHAT A SHAME AT NIGHT ¶ ¶ FACE TO FACE WITH

OH WHAT A SHAME AT NIGHT ¶ ¶ FACE TO FACE WITH EVERY GIRL THAT I TRIED

¶ FACE TO FACE WITH EVERY GIRL THAT I TRIED TO PLAY MM ¶

EVERY GIRL THAT I TRIED TO PLAY MM ¶ ¶ SOONER OR LATER

TO PLAY MM ¶ ¶ SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL FIND OUT

¶ SOONER OR LATER YOU'LL FIND OUT I LIVE IN A PATTERN

YOU'LL FIND OUT I LIVE IN A PATTERN OF BREAKDOWNS ¶

I LIVE IN A PATTERN OF BREAKDOWNS ¶ ¶ YOU'LL BEND TO MY SILENCE

OF BREAKDOWNS ¶ ¶ YOU'LL BEND TO MY SILENCE IT'S SO LOUD

¶ YOU'LL BEND TO MY SILENCE IT'S SO LOUD THEN YOU'LL LOSE ME

IT'S SO LOUD THEN YOU'LL LOSE ME TO THE CROWD ¶

THEN YOU'LL LOSE ME TO THE CROWD ¶ ¶ AND I JUST MIGHT

TO THE CROWD ¶ ¶ AND I JUST MIGHT I JUST MIGHT

¶ AND I JUST MIGHT I JUST MIGHT I JUST

I JUST MIGHT I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶

I JUST HIT THE WALL ¶ ¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM

HIT THE WALL ¶ ¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM YOU CAN SOLVE

¶ I'M NOT A PROBLEM YOU CAN SOLVE WEIGHING THE COST

YOU CAN SOLVE WEIGHING THE COST IMPOSSIBLE ¶

WEIGHING THE COST IMPOSSIBLE ¶ ¶ I HIT THE WALL

IMPOSSIBLE ¶ ¶ I HIT THE WALL I HIT THE WALL

¶ I HIT THE WALL I HIT THE WALL I JUST OH ¶

I HIT THE WALL I JUST OH ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE.

UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HI.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> HI. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING.

THANK YOU. GOOD EVENING. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE."

GOOD EVENING. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE.

>> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST.

I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> I'M COLIN JOST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS ARE ONLY

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS ARE ONLY THREE DAYS AWAY AND IT'S NOT

THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS ARE ONLY THREE DAYS AWAY AND IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR REPUBLICANS.

THREE DAYS AWAY AND IT'S NOT LOOKING GOOD FOR REPUBLICANS. BUT PRESIDENT TRUMP IS LASER

LOOKING GOOD FOR REPUBLICANS. BUT PRESIDENT TRUMP IS LASER FOCUSED ON THE ISSUE THAT

BUT PRESIDENT TRUMP IS LASER FOCUSED ON THE ISSUE THAT MATTERS MOST, MEN'S ASSES.

FOCUSED ON THE ISSUE THAT MATTERS MOST, MEN'S ASSES. [ LAUGHTER ]

MATTERS MOST, MEN'S ASSES. [ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS HOW HE TALKED ABOUT OHIO

[ LAUGHTER ] THIS IS HOW HE TALKED ABOUT OHIO SENATE CANDIDATE JON HUSTED.

THIS IS HOW HE TALKED ABOUT OHIO SENATE CANDIDATE JON HUSTED. >> I DON'T DO THIS WITH MEN VERY

SENATE CANDIDATE JON HUSTED. >> I DON'T DO THIS WITH MEN VERY OFTEN.

>> I DON'T DO THIS WITH MEN VERY OFTEN. I STARTED EXAMINING HIS BODY.

OFTEN. I STARTED EXAMINING HIS BODY. I STUDIED HIS ASS.

I STARTED EXAMINING HIS BODY. I STUDIED HIS ASS. I WATCHED UP AND DOWN.

I STUDIED HIS ASS. I WATCHED UP AND DOWN. I LOOKED AT HIS ASS.

I WATCHED UP AND DOWN. I LOOKED AT HIS ASS. HIS ASS WAS LIKE A BIG PIECE OF

I LOOKED AT HIS ASS. HIS ASS WAS LIKE A BIG PIECE OF MUSCLE.

HIS ASS WAS LIKE A BIG PIECE OF MUSCLE. HIS ASS IS LIKE -- IT'S LIKE A

MUSCLE. HIS ASS IS LIKE -- IT'S LIKE A PILE OF MUSCLE.

HIS ASS IS LIKE -- IT'S LIKE A PILE OF MUSCLE. THEN I STARTED OFF BY STUDYING

PILE OF MUSCLE. THEN I STARTED OFF BY STUDYING HIS ASS.

THEN I STARTED OFF BY STUDYING HIS ASS. I JUST WANT TO SAY.

HIS ASS. I JUST WANT TO SAY. [ LAUGHTER ]

I JUST WANT TO SAY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW

[ LAUGHTER ] >> JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

>> JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I FEEL BAD FOR PETE HEGSETH.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. I FEEL BAD FOR PETE HEGSETH. HE'S DOING TELEVISED PUSH-UPS TO

I FEEL BAD FOR PETE HEGSETH. HE'S DOING TELEVISED PUSH-UPS TO GET TRUMP'S ATTENTION.

HE'S DOING TELEVISED PUSH-UPS TO GET TRUMP'S ATTENTION. ZERO COMPLIMENTS ON HIS BODY.

GET TRUMP'S ATTENTION. ZERO COMPLIMENTS ON HIS BODY. [ LAUGHTER ]

ZERO COMPLIMENTS ON HIS BODY. [ LAUGHTER ] EVEN VICE PRESIDENT J.D. VANCE

[ LAUGHTER ] EVEN VICE PRESIDENT J.D. VANCE CAME OUT AND SAID THAT HE WAS

EVEN VICE PRESIDENT J.D. VANCE CAME OUT AND SAID THAT HE WAS JEALOUS THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS

CAME OUT AND SAID THAT HE WAS JEALOUS THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS NEVER COMPLIMENTED HIS BUTT.

JEALOUS THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS NEVER COMPLIMENTED HIS BUTT. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

NEVER COMPLIMENTED HIS BUTT. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? [ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? [ LAUGHTER ] YOUR PARTY IS ABOUT TO LOSE THE

[ LAUGHTER ] YOUR PARTY IS ABOUT TO LOSE THE MIDTERMS.

YOUR PARTY IS ABOUT TO LOSE THE MIDTERMS. STOP PLAYING SMASH OR PASS WITH

MIDTERMS. STOP PLAYING SMASH OR PASS WITH EACH OTHER.

STOP PLAYING SMASH OR PASS WITH EACH OTHER. [ LAUGHTER ]

EACH OTHER. [ LAUGHTER ] PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID AT A RALLY

[ LAUGHTER ] PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID AT A RALLY THIS WEEK THAT HIS VOICE IS

PRESIDENT TRUMP SAID AT A RALLY THIS WEEK THAT HIS VOICE IS OPERATING AT ABOUT 49.2%.

THIS WEEK THAT HIS VOICE IS OPERATING AT ABOUT 49.2%. [ LAUGHTER ]

OPERATING AT ABOUT 49.2%. [ LAUGHTER ] OUT OF 10.

[ LAUGHTER ] OUT OF 10. [ LAUGHTER ]

OUT OF 10. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT TRUMP ADMITTED THAT HIS

[ LAUGHTER ] BUT TRUMP ADMITTED THAT HIS CAMPAIGN SCHEDULE HAS NOT BEEN

BUT TRUMP ADMITTED THAT HIS CAMPAIGN SCHEDULE HAS NOT BEEN EASY, SAYING THAT GOD DIDN'T

CAMPAIGN SCHEDULE HAS NOT BEEN EASY, SAYING THAT GOD DIDN'T MAKE YOUR VOCAL CORDS TO DO A

EASY, SAYING THAT GOD DIDN'T MAKE YOUR VOCAL CORDS TO DO A RALLY EVERY DAY.

MAKE YOUR VOCAL CORDS TO DO A RALLY EVERY DAY. IN FACT, TRUMP SAID THE ONLY

RALLY EVERY DAY. IN FACT, TRUMP SAID THE ONLY THING GOD MADE TO NEVER QUIT WAS

IN FACT, TRUMP SAID THE ONLY THING GOD MADE TO NEVER QUIT WAS JON HUSTED'S ASS.

THING GOD MADE TO NEVER QUIT WAS JON HUSTED'S ASS. [ LAUGHTER ]

JON HUSTED'S ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> PRESIDENT TRUMP ATTACKED

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> PRESIDENT TRUMP ATTACKED DEMOCRAT ABDUL EL-SAYED WITH

>>> PRESIDENT TRUMP ATTACKED DEMOCRAT ABDUL EL-SAYED WITH ISLAMOPHOBIC RHETORIC, SAYING

DEMOCRAT ABDUL EL-SAYED WITH ISLAMOPHOBIC RHETORIC, SAYING FOR EL-SAYED TO GET INTO THE

ISLAMOPHOBIC RHETORIC, SAYING FOR EL-SAYED TO GET INTO THE SENATE, HE WOULD HAVE TO GO

FOR EL-SAYED TO GET INTO THE SENATE, HE WOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH A METAL DETECTOR.

SENATE, HE WOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH A METAL DETECTOR. WHILE TRUMP SUPPORTERS JUST TAKE

THROUGH A METAL DETECTOR. WHILE TRUMP SUPPORTERS JUST TAKE THE WINDOW.

WHILE TRUMP SUPPORTERS JUST TAKE THE WINDOW. [ LAUGHTER ]

THE WINDOW. [ LAUGHTER ] TED CRUZ SAID IF ABDUL EL-SAYED,

[ LAUGHTER ] TED CRUZ SAID IF ABDUL EL-SAYED, THERE IS A VERY REAL RISK

TED CRUZ SAID IF ABDUL EL-SAYED, THERE IS A VERY REAL RISK AMERICANS WILL DIE AS A RESULT.

THERE IS A VERY REAL RISK AMERICANS WILL DIE AS A RESULT. THEN HE WENT BACK TO THE SENATE

AMERICANS WILL DIE AS A RESULT. THEN HE WENT BACK TO THE SENATE TO CUT HEALTH CARE AND FOOD

THEN HE WENT BACK TO THE SENATE TO CUT HEALTH CARE AND FOOD STAMPS.

TO CUT HEALTH CARE AND FOOD STAMPS. LAUGH.

STAMPS. LAUGH. >>> THIS WEEK, A RECORD NUMBER

LAUGH. >>> THIS WEEK, A RECORD NUMBER OF PEOPLE VOTED IN ISRAEL'S

>>> THIS WEEK, A RECORD NUMBER OF PEOPLE VOTED IN ISRAEL'S ELECTION, WHICH IS GREAT TO SEE

OF PEOPLE VOTED IN ISRAEL'S ELECTION, WHICH IS GREAT TO SEE REGARDLY IF YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT

ELECTION, WHICH IS GREAT TO SEE REGARDLY IF YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OR THE LEFT SIDE OR THE

REGARDLY IF YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OR THE LEFT SIDE OR THE GENOCIDE.

SIDE OR THE LEFT SIDE OR THE GENOCIDE. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ]

GENOCIDE. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] [ LAUGHTER ]

[ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] [ LAUGHTER ] >>> VICE PRESIDENT J.D. VANCE,

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> VICE PRESIDENT J.D. VANCE, SEEN HERE LETTING OZEMPIC TAKE

>>> VICE PRESIDENT J.D. VANCE, SEEN HERE LETTING OZEMPIC TAKE THE WHEEL --

SEEN HERE LETTING OZEMPIC TAKE THE WHEEL -- [ LAUGHTER ]

THE WHEEL -- [ LAUGHTER ] SAID THAT ALASKA HAVING TWO

[ LAUGHTER ] SAID THAT ALASKA HAVING TWO CANDIDATES WITH THE LAST NAME

SAID THAT ALASKA HAVING TWO CANDIDATES WITH THE LAST NAME SULLIVAN IS THE DEFINITION OF

CANDIDATES WITH THE LAST NAME SULLIVAN IS THE DEFINITION OF ELECTORAL FRAUD.

SULLIVAN IS THE DEFINITION OF ELECTORAL FRAUD. WHICH, IF TRUE, WOULD INVALIDATE

ELECTORAL FRAUD. WHICH, IF TRUE, WOULD INVALIDATE EVERY ELECTION IN BOSTON

WHICH, IF TRUE, WOULD INVALIDATE EVERY ELECTION IN BOSTON HISTORY.

EVERY ELECTION IN BOSTON HISTORY. [ LAUGHTER ]

HISTORY. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> PRESIDENT TRUMP CONTINUES TO

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> PRESIDENT TRUMP CONTINUES TO CAMPAIGN FOR REPUBLICANS AHEAD

>>> PRESIDENT TRUMP CONTINUES TO CAMPAIGN FOR REPUBLICANS AHEAD OF THE MIDTERMS WITH THE

CAMPAIGN FOR REPUBLICANS AHEAD OF THE MIDTERMS WITH THE MESSAGE, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES

OF THE MIDTERMS WITH THE MESSAGE, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND I'M ON THE BALLOT.

MESSAGE, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND I'M ON THE BALLOT. SAID ONE VOTER, YOU HAD ME AT,

AND PRETEND I'M ON THE BALLOT. SAID ONE VOTER, YOU HAD ME AT, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND.

SAID ONE VOTER, YOU HAD ME AT, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND. [ LAUGHTER ]

CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> AN ILLINOIS MAN HAS BEEN

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> AN ILLINOIS MAN HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH SENDING THREATENING

>>> AN ILLINOIS MAN HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH SENDING THREATENING LETTERS TO CONGRESS CONTAINING A

CHARGED WITH SENDING THREATENING LETTERS TO CONGRESS CONTAINING A WHITE GRANULAR SUBSTANCE.

LETTERS TO CONGRESS CONTAINING A WHITE GRANULAR SUBSTANCE. THANKFULLY, THE SUBSTANCE HAS

WHITE GRANULAR SUBSTANCE. THANKFULLY, THE SUBSTANCE HAS BEEN JUDGED TO BE HARMLESS AFTER

THANKFULLY, THE SUBSTANCE HAS BEEN JUDGED TO BE HARMLESS AFTER DON JR. DID A KEY BUMP.

BEEN JUDGED TO BE HARMLESS AFTER DON JR. DID A KEY BUMP. [ LAUGHTER ]

DON JR. DID A KEY BUMP. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> CONCERNS ABOUT AN A.I.

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> CONCERNS ABOUT AN A.I. BUBBLE LED TO GOOGLE LOSING $500

>>> CONCERNS ABOUT AN A.I. BUBBLE LED TO GOOGLE LOSING $500 BILLION IN STOCK MARKET VALUE,

BUBBLE LED TO GOOGLE LOSING $500 BILLION IN STOCK MARKET VALUE, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY TODAY'S

BILLION IN STOCK MARKET VALUE, WHICH EXPLAINS WHY TODAY'S GOOGLE DOODLE HUNG ITSELF.

WHICH EXPLAINS WHY TODAY'S GOOGLE DOODLE HUNG ITSELF. [ LAUGHTER ]

GOOGLE DOODLE HUNG ITSELF. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> TOMORROW IS THE NEW YORK

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> TOMORROW IS THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON.

>>> TOMORROW IS THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

CITY MARATHON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YEP, PRETTY EXCITING.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YEP, PRETTY EXCITING. THE MARATHON IS, OF COURSE,

YEP, PRETTY EXCITING. THE MARATHON IS, OF COURSE, NAMED FOR A GREEK MESSENGER WHO

THE MARATHON IS, OF COURSE, NAMED FOR A GREEK MESSENGER WHO RAN FROM THE TOWN OF MARATHON TO

NAMED FOR A GREEK MESSENGER WHO RAN FROM THE TOWN OF MARATHON TO ATHENS TO LET EVERYONE KNOW HE

RAN FROM THE TOWN OF MARATHON TO ATHENS TO LET EVERYONE KNOW HE RAN A MARATHON.

ATHENS TO LET EVERYONE KNOW HE RAN A MARATHON. [ LAUGHTER ]

RAN A MARATHON. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> ACCORDING TO CNN, SOME GEN-Z

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> ACCORDING TO CNN, SOME GEN-Z STUDENTS ARE THROWING DAYTIME

>>> ACCORDING TO CNN, SOME GEN-Z STUDENTS ARE THROWING DAYTIME WELLNESS PARTIES AS AN

STUDENTS ARE THROWING DAYTIME WELLNESS PARTIES AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO PARTIES WITH

WELLNESS PARTIES AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO PARTIES WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.

ALTERNATIVE TO PARTIES WITH DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. HERE TO COMMENT IS PENNYWISE THE

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. HERE TO COMMENT IS PENNYWISE THE CLOWN?

HERE TO COMMENT IS PENNYWISE THE CLOWN? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

CLOWN? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT'S UP, MY DUDE?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WHAT'S UP, MY DUDE? YEAH!

>> WHAT'S UP, MY DUDE? YEAH! [ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH! [ LAUGHTER ] >> HI, PENNYWISE.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> HI, PENNYWISE. WHY ARE YOU HERE TO TALK ABOUT

>> HI, PENNYWISE. WHY ARE YOU HERE TO TALK ABOUT GEN-Z WELLNESS PARTIES?

WHY ARE YOU HERE TO TALK ABOUT GEN-Z WELLNESS PARTIES? >> 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT A LIFE NOW,

GEN-Z WELLNESS PARTIES? >> 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT A LIFE NOW, CHE.

>> 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT A LIFE NOW, CHE. I WILL SAY IT TILL THE COWS COME

CHE. I WILL SAY IT TILL THE COWS COME HOME.

I WILL SAY IT TILL THE COWS COME HOME. YOU DON'T NEED TO DRINK TO HAVE

HOME. YOU DON'T NEED TO DRINK TO HAVE FUN.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DRINK TO HAVE FUN. LOOK AT CHE HE'S LIKE, UH, UH,

FUN. LOOK AT CHE HE'S LIKE, UH, UH, YOU DON'T?

LOOK AT CHE HE'S LIKE, UH, UH, YOU DON'T? >> NO, I'M NOT.

YOU DON'T? >> NO, I'M NOT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> NO, I'M NOT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AREN'T YOU A CLOWN THAT KILLS

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? AREN'T YOU A CLOWN THAT KILLS KIDS?

AREN'T YOU A CLOWN THAT KILLS KIDS? >> OH, YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH MY

KIDS? >> OH, YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH MY WORK.

>> OH, YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH MY WORK. [ LAUGHTER ]

WORK. [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, BIG HOMIE, YEAH.

[ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, BIG HOMIE, YEAH. LOOK, MAN.

THANK YOU, BIG HOMIE, YEAH. LOOK, MAN. I GOT TO GO WHERE THE KIDS ARE,

LOOK, MAN. I GOT TO GO WHERE THE KIDS ARE, BRUH.

I GOT TO GO WHERE THE KIDS ARE, BRUH. LOOK, AM I TECHNICALLY AN

BRUH. LOOK, AM I TECHNICALLY AN ANCIENT, MALEVOLENT ENTITY?

LOOK, AM I TECHNICALLY AN ANCIENT, MALEVOLENT ENTITY? SURE.

ANCIENT, MALEVOLENT ENTITY? SURE. DO I SHAPE SHIFT TO ENTRAP

SURE. DO I SHAPE SHIFT TO ENTRAP CHILDREN AND EAT THEIR SOULS?

DO I SHAPE SHIFT TO ENTRAP CHILDREN AND EAT THEIR SOULS? I HAVE.

CHILDREN AND EAT THEIR SOULS? I HAVE. BUT NEWSFLASH.

I HAVE. BUT NEWSFLASH. MEN CAN EVOLVE.

BUT NEWSFLASH. MEN CAN EVOLVE. I DON'T LIVE IN THE SEWER

MEN CAN EVOLVE. I DON'T LIVE IN THE SEWER ANYMORE.

I DON'T LIVE IN THE SEWER ANYMORE. I LIVE IN A LOFT IN AUSTIN,

ANYMORE. I LIVE IN A LOFT IN AUSTIN, TEXAS, WITH THREE OTHER

I LIVE IN A LOFT IN AUSTIN, TEXAS, WITH THREE OTHER MOTIVATED YOUNG CHRISTIANS.

TEXAS, WITH THREE OTHER MOTIVATED YOUNG CHRISTIANS. [ LAUGHTER ]

MOTIVATED YOUNG CHRISTIANS. [ LAUGHTER ] WHEN WE'RE NOT ON CLAUDE CODE

[ LAUGHTER ] WHEN WE'RE NOT ON CLAUDE CODE BUILDING EPIC STACKS, WE'RE

WHEN WE'RE NOT ON CLAUDE CODE BUILDING EPIC STACKS, WE'RE HAVING LONG TALKS WITH OUR

BUILDING EPIC STACKS, WE'RE HAVING LONG TALKS WITH OUR SHIRTS OFF AND DOING HELLA

HAVING LONG TALKS WITH OUR SHIRTS OFF AND DOING HELLA BURNIES.

SHIRTS OFF AND DOING HELLA BURNIES. FEEL THAT.

BURNIES. FEEL THAT. >> I'M NOT GOING TO SQUEEZE YOUR

FEEL THAT. >> I'M NOT GOING TO SQUEEZE YOUR ARM.

>> I'M NOT GOING TO SQUEEZE YOUR ARM. >> GIVE THAT A FEEL, PLEASE,

ARM. >> GIVE THAT A FEEL, PLEASE, CHE, PLEASE.

>> GIVE THAT A FEEL, PLEASE, CHE, PLEASE. [ LAUGHTER ]

CHE, PLEASE. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CLOWN HORN ]

[ LAUGHTER ] [ CLOWN HORN ] [ LAUGHTER ]

[ CLOWN HORN ] [ LAUGHTER ] >> STILL A CLOWN, MAN.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> STILL A CLOWN, MAN. YEAH, DOG.

>> STILL A CLOWN, MAN. YEAH, DOG. THAT'S WHAT I'M UP TO, MAN.

YEAH, DOG. THAT'S WHAT I'M UP TO, MAN. PUT A LITTLE CREW TOGETHER OF

THAT'S WHAT I'M UP TO, MAN. PUT A LITTLE CREW TOGETHER OF COOL, LIKE-MINDED, SOBER,

PUT A LITTLE CREW TOGETHER OF COOL, LIKE-MINDED, SOBER, PREDATORY TECH GUYS.

COOL, LIKE-MINDED, SOBER, PREDATORY TECH GUYS. [ LAUGHTER ]

PREDATORY TECH GUYS. [ LAUGHTER ] WE STARTED A COMPANY.

[ LAUGHTER ] WE STARTED A COMPANY. IT'S CALLED, WEALLFLOAT.AI.

WE STARTED A COMPANY. IT'S CALLED, WEALLFLOAT.AI. INSTEAD OF TRAPPING ONE KID WITH

IT'S CALLED, WEALLFLOAT.AI. INSTEAD OF TRAPPING ONE KID WITH ONE BALLOON, WHAT IF YOU HAD

INSTEAD OF TRAPPING ONE KID WITH ONE BALLOON, WHAT IF YOU HAD HUNDREDS OF A.I. AGENTS EACH

ONE BALLOON, WHAT IF YOU HAD HUNDREDS OF A.I. AGENTS EACH WITH THEIR OWN DIGITAL BALLOON?

HUNDREDS OF A.I. AGENTS EACH WITH THEIR OWN DIGITAL BALLOON? USING THE HABIT-FORMING

WITH THEIR OWN DIGITAL BALLOON? USING THE HABIT-FORMING TECHNOLOGY FROM THE HOMIES OVER

USING THE HABIT-FORMING TECHNOLOGY FROM THE HOMIES OVER AT DRAFT KINGS.

TECHNOLOGY FROM THE HOMIES OVER AT DRAFT KINGS. [ LAUGHTER ]

AT DRAFT KINGS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HERE, TO

[ LAUGHTER ] >> IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HERE, TO PROMOTE YOUR TECH STARTUP?

>> IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HERE, TO PROMOTE YOUR TECH STARTUP? >> NO.

PROMOTE YOUR TECH STARTUP? >> NO. I'M HERE BECAUSE I MANIFEST AS

>> NO. I'M HERE BECAUSE I MANIFEST AS PEOPLE'S WORST FEARS.

I'M HERE BECAUSE I MANIFEST AS PEOPLE'S WORST FEARS. WHICH FOR YOU IS THIS.

PEOPLE'S WORST FEARS. WHICH FOR YOU IS THIS. ¶¶

WHICH FOR YOU IS THIS. ¶¶ YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO

¶¶ YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU IN THIS WORLD,

YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU IN THIS WORLD, CHE.

CARE ABOUT YOU IN THIS WORLD, CHE. WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.

CHE. WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU. >> IS THIS AN INTERVENTION?

WHO ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU. >> IS THIS AN INTERVENTION? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> IS THIS AN INTERVENTION? [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, MAN.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, MAN. IT SURE IS.

>> YEAH, MAN. IT SURE IS. WE ALL WATCHED YOUR SPECIAL, OR

IT SURE IS. WE ALL WATCHED YOUR SPECIAL, OR AS I CALL IT, YOUR CRY FOR HELP.

WE ALL WATCHED YOUR SPECIAL, OR AS I CALL IT, YOUR CRY FOR HELP. [ LAUGHTER ]

AS I CALL IT, YOUR CRY FOR HELP. [ LAUGHTER ] COLIN?

[ LAUGHTER ] COLIN? >> DEAR MICHAEL.

COLIN? >> DEAR MICHAEL. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> DEAR MICHAEL. [ LAUGHTER ] YOUR DRINKING HAS AFFECTED ME IN

[ LAUGHTER ] YOUR DRINKING HAS AFFECTED ME IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS.

YOUR DRINKING HAS AFFECTED ME IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS. >> NO.

THE FOLLOWING WAYS. >> NO. PENNYWISE THE CLOWN, EVERYBODY!

>> NO. PENNYWISE THE CLOWN, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

PENNYWISE THE CLOWN, EVERYBODY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> NO, I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> NO, I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT. >>> SOME USERS OF THE NEW

>> NO, I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT. >>> SOME USERS OF THE NEW I-PHONE DUO ARE REPORTING CRACKS

>>> SOME USERS OF THE NEW I-PHONE DUO ARE REPORTING CRACKS IN THE FOLDABLE DISPLAY.

I-PHONE DUO ARE REPORTING CRACKS IN THE FOLDABLE DISPLAY. RESPONDED APPLE, YOU FOLDED IT?

IN THE FOLDABLE DISPLAY. RESPONDED APPLE, YOU FOLDED IT? [ LAUGHTER ]

RESPONDED APPLE, YOU FOLDED IT? [ LAUGHTER ] >>> A TEXAS BRANCH OF THE NAACP

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> A TEXAS BRANCH OF THE NAACP HAS CONDEMNED A SOCIAL MEDIA

>>> A TEXAS BRANCH OF THE NAACP HAS CONDEMNED A SOCIAL MEDIA VIDEO SHOWING PEOPLE WALKING

HAS CONDEMNED A SOCIAL MEDIA VIDEO SHOWING PEOPLE WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN THE BORDER

VIDEO SHOWING PEOPLE WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN THE BORDER TOWN OF EL PASO WEARING KKK

DOWN THE STREET IN THE BORDER TOWN OF EL PASO WEARING KKK ROBES.

TOWN OF EL PASO WEARING KKK ROBES. WHICH YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT WOULD

ROBES. WHICH YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT WOULD BE A VERY SMART WAY TO SNEAK

WHICH YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT WOULD BE A VERY SMART WAY TO SNEAK INTO THE COUNTRY.

BE A VERY SMART WAY TO SNEAK INTO THE COUNTRY. [ LAUGHTER ]

INTO THE COUNTRY. [ LAUGHTER ] CONSIDER IT.

[ LAUGHTER ] CONSIDER IT. >>> STEVIE WONDER IS TRYING TO

CONSIDER IT. >>> STEVIE WONDER IS TRYING TO EVICT A WOMAN WHO HAS LIVED

>>> STEVIE WONDER IS TRYING TO EVICT A WOMAN WHO HAS LIVED RENT-FREE IN ONE OFOR NEARLY 40.

EVICT A WOMAN WHO HAS LIVED RENT-FREE IN ONE OFOR NEARLY 40. THE WOMAN WAS ABLE TO STAY FOR

RENT-FREE IN ONE OFOR NEARLY 40. THE WOMAN WAS ABLE TO STAY FOR THAT LONG BY STANDING STILL AND

THE WOMAN WAS ABLE TO STAY FOR THAT LONG BY STANDING STILL AND BEING VERY QUIET.

THAT LONG BY STANDING STILL AND BEING VERY QUIET. [ LAUGHTER ]

BEING VERY QUIET. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> POLICE IN SCOTLAND HAVE

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> POLICE IN SCOTLAND HAVE OPENED AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE

>>> POLICE IN SCOTLAND HAVE OPENED AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE TIME FORMER PRINCE ANDREW SPENT

OPENED AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE TIME FORMER PRINCE ANDREW SPENT WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN AT THE

TIME FORMER PRINCE ANDREW SPENT WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN AT THE KING'S SCOTTISH ESTATE WHICH

WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN AT THE KING'S SCOTTISH ESTATE WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY SEGMENT, "HEAR

KING'S SCOTTISH ESTATE WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY SEGMENT, "HEAR ME OUT."

BRINGS ME TO MY SEGMENT, "HEAR ME OUT." [ LAUGHTER ]

ME OUT." [ LAUGHTER ] NOW, I KNOW THAT THE MAIN STORY

[ LAUGHTER ] NOW, I KNOW THAT THE MAIN STORY HERE THAT IS THEY'RE SEXUAL

NOW, I KNOW THAT THE MAIN STORY HERE THAT IS THEY'RE SEXUAL PREDATORS.

HERE THAT IS THEY'RE SEXUAL PREDATORS. BUT CAN WE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGE IT

PREDATORS. BUT CAN WE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGE IT SEEMS LIKE THESE TWO HAD A

BUT CAN WE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGE IT SEEMS LIKE THESE TWO HAD A BEAUTIFUL, CLOSE FRIENDSHIP?

SEEMS LIKE THESE TWO HAD A BEAUTIFUL, CLOSE FRIENDSHIP? [ LAUGHTER ]

BEAUTIFUL, CLOSE FRIENDSHIP? [ LAUGHTER ] HOW MANY MIDDLE-AGED MEN DO YOU

[ LAUGHTER ] HOW MANY MIDDLE-AGED MEN DO YOU KNOW THAT GO ON THIS MANY COOL

HOW MANY MIDDLE-AGED MEN DO YOU KNOW THAT GO ON THIS MANY COOL TRIPS TOGETHER?

KNOW THAT GO ON THIS MANY COOL TRIPS TOGETHER? [ LAUGHTER ]

TRIPS TOGETHER? [ LAUGHTER ] MAYBE THE REAL LESSON IS THAT

[ LAUGHTER ] MAYBE THE REAL LESSON IS THAT WHEN TWO MEN HAVE A SHARED

MAYBE THE REAL LESSON IS THAT WHEN TWO MEN HAVE A SHARED PASSION, THE SKY'S THE LIMIT.

WHEN TWO MEN HAVE A SHARED PASSION, THE SKY'S THE LIMIT. [ LAUGHTER ]

PASSION, THE SKY'S THE LIMIT. [ LAUGHTER ] AND WHAT SEEMS LIKE A TEEN SEX

[ LAUGHTER ] AND WHAT SEEMS LIKE A TEEN SEX RING MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE

AND WHAT SEEMS LIKE A TEEN SEX RING MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE PERFECT CURE FOR OUR MALE

RING MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE PERFECT CURE FOR OUR MALE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC.

PERFECT CURE FOR OUR MALE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC. [ LAUGHTER ]

LONELINESS EPIDEMIC. [ LAUGHTER ] BESIDES, WHO ARE THEY EVEN

[ LAUGHTER ] BESIDES, WHO ARE THEY EVEN HURTING?

BESIDES, WHO ARE THEY EVEN HURTING? OH, RIGHT.

HURTING? OH, RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]

OH, RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> THIS HAS BEEN "HEAR ME OUT."

[ LAUGHTER ] >> THIS HAS BEEN "HEAR ME OUT." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> THIS HAS BEEN "HEAR ME OUT." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CLAPPED

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CLAPPED FOR THAT.

>> I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CLAPPED FOR THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]

FOR THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> NEW YORK CITY COUNCIL HAS

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> NEW YORK CITY COUNCIL HAS VOTED TO BAN HORSE-DRAWN

>>> NEW YORK CITY COUNCIL HAS VOTED TO BAN HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES.

VOTED TO BAN HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGES. SO FINALLY, CENTRAL PARK CAN GO

CARRIAGES. SO FINALLY, CENTRAL PARK CAN GO BACK TO SMELLING LIKE HUMAN

SO FINALLY, CENTRAL PARK CAN GO BACK TO SMELLING LIKE HUMAN FECES.

BACK TO SMELLING LIKE HUMAN FECES. [ LAUGHTER ]

FECES. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> SCIENTISTS STUDYING VINCENT

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> SCIENTISTS STUDYING VINCENT VAN GOGH'S "STARRY NIGHT" NOW

>>> SCIENTISTS STUDYING VINCENT VAN GOGH'S "STARRY NIGHT" NOW BELIEVE IT WASN'T A PRODUCT OF

VAN GOGH'S "STARRY NIGHT" NOW BELIEVE IT WASN'T A PRODUCT OF HIS IMAGINATION BUT THE ACTUAL

BELIEVE IT WASN'T A PRODUCT OF HIS IMAGINATION BUT THE ACTUAL SKY HE SAW ONE NIGHT IN 1889.

HIS IMAGINATION BUT THE ACTUAL SKY HE SAW ONE NIGHT IN 1889. I THINK IF VAN GOGH WERE ALIVE

SKY HE SAW ONE NIGHT IN 1889. I THINK IF VAN GOGH WERE ALIVE TODAY HE'D SAY, WHAT?

I THINK IF VAN GOGH WERE ALIVE TODAY HE'D SAY, WHAT? [ LAUGHTER ]

TODAY HE'D SAY, WHAT? [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S THE EAR.

[ LAUGHTER ] IT'S THE EAR. >> YEAH, YEAH, WE GOT IT.

IT'S THE EAR. >> YEAH, YEAH, WE GOT IT. >>> A HAND-DRAWN SURVEY MAP OF

>> YEAH, YEAH, WE GOT IT. >>> A HAND-DRAWN SURVEY MAP OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE, WHICH

>>> A HAND-DRAWN SURVEY MAP OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE, WHICH DIVIDED FREE NORTHERN STATES

THE MASON-DIXON LINE, WHICH DIVIDED FREE NORTHERN STATES FROM SOUTHERN SLAVE STATES, IS

DIVIDED FREE NORTHERN STATES FROM SOUTHERN SLAVE STATES, IS BEING AUCTIONED FOR MORE THAN $1

FROM SOUTHERN SLAVE STATES, IS BEING AUCTIONED FOR MORE THAN $1 MILLION.

BEING AUCTIONED FOR MORE THAN $1 MILLION. >> $2 MILLION!

MILLION. >> $2 MILLION! [ LAUGHTER ]

>> $2 MILLION! [ LAUGHTER ] >>> A WOMAN IN FLORIDA HAS GONE

[ LAUGHTER ] >>> A WOMAN IN FLORIDA HAS GONE VIRAL AFTER SHE CALLED POLICE TO

>>> A WOMAN IN FLORIDA HAS GONE VIRAL AFTER SHE CALLED POLICE TO REPORT A CAR CRASH WHILE SHE WAS

VIRAL AFTER SHE CALLED POLICE TO REPORT A CAR CRASH WHILE SHE WAS DRESSED AS A BANANA.

REPORT A CAR CRASH WHILE SHE WAS DRESSED AS A BANANA. BUT BEFORE THE COPS COULD GET

DRESSED AS A BANANA. BUT BEFORE THE COPS COULD GET THERE, SHE SPLIT.

BUT BEFORE THE COPS COULD GET THERE, SHE SPLIT. [ LAUGHTER ]

THERE, SHE SPLIT. [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

[ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU, THANK YOU! >> NO, NO.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU! >> NO, NO. [ APPLAUSE ]

>> NO, NO. [ APPLAUSE ] >>> WEDNESDAY, THE MILWAUKEE

[ APPLAUSE ] >>> WEDNESDAY, THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS WON THEIR FIRST WORLD

>>> WEDNESDAY, THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS WON THEIR FIRST WORLD SERIES IN FRANCHISE HISTORY.

BREWERS WON THEIR FIRST WORLD SERIES IN FRANCHISE HISTORY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SERIES IN FRANCHISE HISTORY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] DEFEATING THE TAMPA BAY RAYS IN

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] DEFEATING THE TAMPA BAY RAYS IN FIVE GAMES.

DEFEATING THE TAMPA BAY RAYS IN FIVE GAMES. HERE TO COMMENT IS DRUNK UNCLE.

FIVE GAMES. HERE TO COMMENT IS DRUNK UNCLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HERE TO COMMENT IS DRUNK UNCLE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> ARE YOU READY FOR SOME

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASEBALL?

>> ARE YOU READY FOR SOME BASEBALL? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BASEBALL? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WOW.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WOW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DRUNK

>> WOW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DRUNK UNCLE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DRUNK UNCLE? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SETH?

UNCLE? >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SETH? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SETH? [ LAUGHTER ] MY DREAM OF A BEER WINNING THE

[ LAUGHTER ] MY DREAM OF A BEER WINNING THE WORLD SERIES FINALLY CAME TRUE.

MY DREAM OF A BEER WINNING THE WORLD SERIES FINALLY CAME TRUE. BREWERS IN FIVE!

WORLD SERIES FINALLY CAME TRUE. BREWERS IN FIVE! HEY, HA HA HA, WHOO!

BREWERS IN FIVE! HEY, HA HA HA, WHOO! WHOA, I BEEN DRINKING SINCE THE

HEY, HA HA HA, WHOO! WHOA, I BEEN DRINKING SINCE THE NIGHT THEY WON.

WHOA, I BEEN DRINKING SINCE THE NIGHT THEY WON. AND ALSO FOR THE LAST 57 YEARS

NIGHT THEY WON. AND ALSO FOR THE LAST 57 YEARS BEFORE THAT.

AND ALSO FOR THE LAST 57 YEARS BEFORE THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]

BEFORE THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> SO YOU'RE NOT WATCHING THE

[ LAUGHTER ] >> SO YOU'RE NOT WATCHING THE WNBA FINALS TONIGHT?

>> SO YOU'RE NOT WATCHING THE WNBA FINALS TONIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ]

WNBA FINALS TONIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU TAKE THAT BACK, COLIN!

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU TAKE THAT BACK, COLIN! HOW DARE YOU.

>> YOU TAKE THAT BACK, COLIN! HOW DARE YOU. I THINK I RIPPED YOUR SHIRT.

HOW DARE YOU. I THINK I RIPPED YOUR SHIRT. >> YEAH, YOU DID.

I THINK I RIPPED YOUR SHIRT. >> YEAH, YOU DID. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, YOU DID. [ LAUGHTER ] >> BASEBALL'S NOT THE SAME

[ LAUGHTER ] >> BASEBALL'S NOT THE SAME ANYMORE, AMY, OKAY?

>> BASEBALL'S NOT THE SAME ANYMORE, AMY, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ]

ANYMORE, AMY, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ] IT USED TO BE BABE RUTH'S

[ LAUGHTER ] IT USED TO BE BABE RUTH'S CRACKERJACK, FIELD OF DREAMS

IT USED TO BE BABE RUTH'S CRACKERJACK, FIELD OF DREAMS GAMBLING PROBLEM.

CRACKERJACK, FIELD OF DREAMS GAMBLING PROBLEM. [ LAUGHTER ]

GAMBLING PROBLEM. [ LAUGHTER ] NOWADAYS IT'S, CAN I BACK TO

[ LAUGHTER ] NOWADAYS IT'S, CAN I BACK TO BACK TO MY TEAM?

NOWADAYS IT'S, CAN I BACK TO BACK TO MY TEAM? I CHALLENGE THE PITCH, I

BACK TO MY TEAM? I CHALLENGE THE PITCH, I CHALLENGE THE PITCH.

I CHALLENGE THE PITCH, I CHALLENGE THE PITCH. PAUSE.

CHALLENGE THE PITCH. PAUSE. [ LAUGHTER ]

PAUSE. [ LAUGHTER ] I MISS THE DAYS WHEN MEN WERE

[ LAUGHTER ] I MISS THE DAYS WHEN MEN WERE MEN, COLIN.

I MISS THE DAYS WHEN MEN WERE MEN, COLIN. YOU KNOW?

MEN, COLIN. YOU KNOW? NOW THERE'S A MRS. MET?

YOU KNOW? NOW THERE'S A MRS. MET? COME ON.

NOW THERE'S A MRS. MET? COME ON. THERE'S ONLY ONE GENDER.

COME ON. THERE'S ONLY ONE GENDER. [ LAUGHTER ]

THERE'S ONLY ONE GENDER. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ONE?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> ONE? >> YEAH.

>> ONE? >> YEAH. AND NOW, WHAT, THEY STOP SERVING

>> YEAH. AND NOW, WHAT, THEY STOP SERVING BEER IN THE SEVENTH INNING?

AND NOW, WHAT, THEY STOP SERVING BEER IN THE SEVENTH INNING? NOW I GOT TO DRIVE HOMEOWNER?

BEER IN THE SEVENTH INNING? NOW I GOT TO DRIVE HOMEOWNER? [ LAUGHTER ]

NOW I GOT TO DRIVE HOMEOWNER? [ LAUGHTER ] STUPID.

[ LAUGHTER ] STUPID. >> DRUNK UNCLE --

STUPID. >> DRUNK UNCLE -- >> YEAH, I DO VOTER FRAUD.

>> DRUNK UNCLE -- >> YEAH, I DO VOTER FRAUD. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, I DO VOTER FRAUD. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW?

[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW? BASEBALL GAMES, BASEBALL GAMES

YOU KNOW? BASEBALL GAMES, BASEBALL GAMES USED TO BE SEVEN HOURS AND IT

BASEBALL GAMES, BASEBALL GAMES USED TO BE SEVEN HOURS AND IT WAS PERFECT.

USED TO BE SEVEN HOURS AND IT WAS PERFECT. YOU KNOW?

WAS PERFECT. YOU KNOW? NOW THE GAME ENDS IN 50 MINUTES

YOU KNOW? NOW THE GAME ENDS IN 50 MINUTES AND EVERYONE CAN GO HOME AND

NOW THE GAME ENDS IN 50 MINUTES AND EVERYONE CAN GO HOME AND WATCH THEIR HOT GAY HOCKEY

AND EVERYONE CAN GO HOME AND WATCH THEIR HOT GAY HOCKEY SHOWS.

WATCH THEIR HOT GAY HOCKEY SHOWS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SHOWS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DRUNK UNCLE --

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DRUNK UNCLE -- >> SO I'VE NEVER BEEN MONEYBALL,

>> DRUNK UNCLE -- >> SO I'VE NEVER BEEN MONEYBALL, OKAY?

>> SO I'VE NEVER BEEN MONEYBALL, OKAY? SO I'M NOT CHOOSING TEXAS, OKAY?

OKAY? SO I'M NOT CHOOSING TEXAS, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ]

SO I'M NOT CHOOSING TEXAS, OKAY? [ LAUGHTER ] SO I'M NOT ELIZABETH HOLMES.

[ LAUGHTER ] SO I'M NOT ELIZABETH HOLMES. [ CHEERS ]

SO I'M NOT ELIZABETH HOLMES. [ CHEERS ] BY THE WAY, I BELIEVE HER.

[ CHEERS ] BY THE WAY, I BELIEVE HER. >> NO.

BY THE WAY, I BELIEVE HER. >> NO. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> NO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ACE IS THE PLACE WITH THE

[ LAUGHTER ] >> ACE IS THE PLACE WITH THE HELPFUL HARDWARE FOLKS.

>> ACE IS THE PLACE WITH THE HELPFUL HARDWARE FOLKS. OKAY.

HELPFUL HARDWARE FOLKS. OKAY. >> OH NO.

OKAY. >> OH NO. OH, NO.

>> OH NO. OH, NO. DRUNK UNCLE --

OH, NO. DRUNK UNCLE -- >> HELEN OF TROY WAS WHITE!

DRUNK UNCLE -- >> HELEN OF TROY WAS WHITE! >> NO, NO, NO.

>> HELEN OF TROY WAS WHITE! >> NO, NO, NO. IS THAT WHY YOU WERE CRYING?

>> NO, NO, NO. IS THAT WHY YOU WERE CRYING? >> KINDA?

IS THAT WHY YOU WERE CRYING? >> KINDA? I DON'T KNOW.

>> KINDA? I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST WORRIED THAT MAYBE A

I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST WORRIED THAT MAYBE A BEER DIDN'T WIN THE WORLD

I'M JUST WORRIED THAT MAYBE A BEER DIDN'T WIN THE WORLD SERIES.

BEER DIDN'T WIN THE WORLD SERIES. MAYBE THIS WAS ALL A DREAM.

SERIES. MAYBE THIS WAS ALL A DREAM. >> I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE THIS WAS ALL A DREAM. >> I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS.

>> I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS. >> I DON'T KNOW EITHER!

I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS. >> I DON'T KNOW EITHER! YOU TELL ME!

>> I DON'T KNOW EITHER! YOU TELL ME! >> WAIT A SECOND.

YOU TELL ME! >> WAIT A SECOND. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> WAIT A SECOND. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I SEE THE WORLD CHAMPION

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I SEE THE WORLD CHAMPION MILWAUKEE BREWERS.

I SEE THE WORLD CHAMPION MILWAUKEE BREWERS. HOW ARE YOU GUYS?

MILWAUKEE BREWERS. HOW ARE YOU GUYS? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HOW ARE YOU GUYS? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FIRST EVER.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FIRST EVER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

FIRST EVER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DON'T WORRY, DRUNK UNCLE, IT

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DON'T WORRY, DRUNK UNCLE, IT WASN'T A DREAM.

>> DON'T WORRY, DRUNK UNCLE, IT WASN'T A DREAM. >> AND WE HAVE SOMETHING IN

WASN'T A DREAM. >> AND WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON, DRUNK UNCLE.

>> AND WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON, DRUNK UNCLE. WE'VE ALSO BEEN DRINKING SINCE

COMMON, DRUNK UNCLE. WE'VE ALSO BEEN DRINKING SINCE WEDNESDAY.

WE'VE ALSO BEEN DRINKING SINCE WEDNESDAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WEDNESDAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> AND I'M THE MANAGER.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> AND I'M THE MANAGER. AND THAT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING

>> AND I'M THE MANAGER. AND THAT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING THE DRUNK UNCLE OF THE TEAM.

AND THAT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING THE DRUNK UNCLE OF THE TEAM. [ LAUGHTER ]

THE DRUNK UNCLE OF THE TEAM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I KNOW YOU.

>> HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I KNOW YOU. YOU'RE PETE DAVIDSON, RIGHT?

I KNOW YOU. YOU'RE PETE DAVIDSON, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'RE PETE DAVIDSON, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> SIR --

[ LAUGHTER ] >> SIR -- >> DRUNK UNCLE AND THE WORLD

>> SIR -- >> DRUNK UNCLE AND THE WORLD CHAMPION MILWAUKEE BREWERS!

>> DRUNK UNCLE AND THE WORLD CHAMPION MILWAUKEE BREWERS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

CHAMPION MILWAUKEE BREWERS! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN JOST.

FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN JOST. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE, GOOD NIGHT!

¶ PAW PATROL PAW PATROL WE'LL BE THERE ON THE DOUBLE ¶

WE'LL BE THERE ON THE DOUBLE ¶ ¶ WHENEVER THERE'S A PROBLEM

ON THE DOUBLE ¶ ¶ WHENEVER THERE'S A PROBLEM AROUND ADVENTURE BAY

¶ WHENEVER THERE'S A PROBLEM AROUND ADVENTURE BAY RYDER AND HIS TEAM OF PUPS

AROUND ADVENTURE BAY RYDER AND HIS TEAM OF PUPS WILL COME AND SAVE THE DAY ¶

RYDER AND HIS TEAM OF PUPS WILL COME AND SAVE THE DAY ¶ ¶ PAW PATROL

WILL COME AND SAVE THE DAY ¶ ¶ PAW PATROL WUH-UH-UH-OH

¶ PAW PATROL WUH-UH-UH-OH PAW PATROL ¶

WUH-UH-UH-OH PAW PATROL ¶ >> SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT.

PAW PATROL ¶ >> SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. [ LAUGHTER ] THESE ARE THEIR STORIES.

[ LAUGHTER ] THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. ¶ DUN DUN ¶

THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. ¶ DUN DUN ¶ >> ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, PUPS.

¶ DUN DUN ¶ >> ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, PUPS. WE HAVE ONE HECK OF A CASE TO

>> ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, PUPS. WE HAVE ONE HECK OF A CASE TO SOLVE.

WE HAVE ONE HECK OF A CASE TO SOLVE. >> IS THE WALRUS STUCK IN A

SOLVE. >> IS THE WALRUS STUCK IN A FISHING NET AGAIN?

>> IS THE WALRUS STUCK IN A FISHING NET AGAIN? >> OR FARMER YUMI HAS TOO MANY

FISHING NET AGAIN? >> OR FARMER YUMI HAS TOO MANY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS.

>> OR FARMER YUMI HAS TOO MANY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS. >> OR MAYBE CAPTAIN TURBOT CAN'T

BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS. >> OR MAYBE CAPTAIN TURBOT CAN'T FIND HIS SAILBOAT.

>> OR MAYBE CAPTAIN TURBOT CAN'T FIND HIS SAILBOAT. >> CAPTAIN TURBOT IS DEAD.

FIND HIS SAILBOAT. >> CAPTAIN TURBOT IS DEAD. >> DEAD TIRED FROM ALL THE

>> CAPTAIN TURBOT IS DEAD. >> DEAD TIRED FROM ALL THE SAILING ALL DAY?

>> DEAD TIRED FROM ALL THE SAILING ALL DAY? >> HIS CORPSE WAS FOUND

SAILING ALL DAY? >> HIS CORPSE WAS FOUND MUTILATED BEHIND FUZZY PUP'S PUP

>> HIS CORPSE WAS FOUND MUTILATED BEHIND FUZZY PUP'S PUP PLAYGROUND.

MUTILATED BEHIND FUZZY PUP'S PUP PLAYGROUND. ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A FINGER AND

PLAYGROUND. ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A FINGER AND A PAIR ARE OF KIDNEYS.

ALL THAT'S LEFT IS A FINGER AND A PAIR ARE OF KIDNEYS. >> WHAT'S MUTILATED?

A PAIR ARE OF KIDNEYS. >> WHAT'S MUTILATED? IS THAT WHEN YOU TURN INTO A

>> WHAT'S MUTILATED? IS THAT WHEN YOU TURN INTO A COW?

IS THAT WHEN YOU TURN INTO A COW? BECAUSE I WANT TO GET MUTILATED

COW? BECAUSE I WANT TO GET MUTILATED TOO.

BECAUSE I WANT TO GET MUTILATED TOO. >> MARSHALL, THEY TOOK OUT HIS

TOO. >> MARSHALL, THEY TOOK OUT HIS ORGANS TO SELL THEM ON THE BLACK

>> MARSHALL, THEY TOOK OUT HIS ORGANS TO SELL THEM ON THE BLACK MARKET.

ORGANS TO SELL THEM ON THE BLACK MARKET. THERE IS A COOLER OF EYEBALLS ON

MARKET. THERE IS A COOLER OF EYEBALLS ON ITS WAY TO CAMBODIA RIGHT NOW.

THERE IS A COOLER OF EYEBALLS ON ITS WAY TO CAMBODIA RIGHT NOW. >> IF YOU CAN'T SEE HIS

ITS WAY TO CAMBODIA RIGHT NOW. >> IF YOU CAN'T SEE HIS EYEBALLS, MAYBE HE'S JUST

>> IF YOU CAN'T SEE HIS EYEBALLS, MAYBE HE'S JUST SLEEPING.

EYEBALLS, MAYBE HE'S JUST SLEEPING. >> DOES IT LOOK LIKE HE'S

SLEEPING. >> DOES IT LOOK LIKE HE'S SLEEPING?

>> DOES IT LOOK LIKE HE'S SLEEPING? >> I'VE NEVER SAID IT LIKE THIS

SLEEPING? >> I'VE NEVER SAID IT LIKE THIS BEFORE.

>> I'VE NEVER SAID IT LIKE THIS BEFORE. BUT WOOF!

BEFORE. BUT WOOF! [ LAUGHTER ]

BUT WOOF! [ LAUGHTER ] >> SORRY, GANG, I GOT DISTRACTED

[ LAUGHTER ] >> SORRY, GANG, I GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS TASTY TREAT I FOUND.

>> SORRY, GANG, I GOT DISTRACTED BY THIS TASTY TREAT I FOUND. >> OH GOD, THAT'S HIS FEMUR!

BY THIS TASTY TREAT I FOUND. >> OH GOD, THAT'S HIS FEMUR! >> JESUS, YOU'RE EATING CAPTAIN

>> OH GOD, THAT'S HIS FEMUR! >> JESUS, YOU'RE EATING CAPTAIN TURBOT!

>> JESUS, YOU'RE EATING CAPTAIN TURBOT! >> IT'S DELICIOUS!

TURBOT! >> IT'S DELICIOUS! [ LAUGHTER ]

>> IT'S DELICIOUS! [ LAUGHTER ] >> BUT GUYS, DON'T FORGET OUR

[ LAUGHTER ] >> BUT GUYS, DON'T FORGET OUR OTHER PROBLEM.

>> BUT GUYS, DON'T FORGET OUR OTHER PROBLEM. FARMER YUMI HAS TOO MANY BABY

OTHER PROBLEM. FARMER YUMI HAS TOO MANY BABY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS.

FARMER YUMI HAS TOO MANY BABY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS. >> FARMER YUMI'S DEAD TOO.

BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS. >> FARMER YUMI'S DEAD TOO. THEY HUNG HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND

>> FARMER YUMI'S DEAD TOO. THEY HUNG HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND CUT HIM OPEN FROM HIS CHIN TO

THEY HUNG HIM UPSIDE DOWN AND CUT HIM OPEN FROM HIS CHIN TO NUTS.

CUT HIM OPEN FROM HIS CHIN TO NUTS. >> WELL, AT LEAST HE HAD NUTS.

NUTS. >> WELL, AT LEAST HE HAD NUTS. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> WELL, AT LEAST HE HAD NUTS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAS IT BECAUSE HE HAD TOO

[ LAUGHTER ] >> WAS IT BECAUSE HE HAD TOO MANY BABY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH

>> WAS IT BECAUSE HE HAD TOO MANY BABY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS?

MANY BABY BUNNIES AND NOT ENOUGH CARROTS? >> NO.

CARROTS? >> NO. IT'S BECAUSE HE SAW THE

>> NO. IT'S BECAUSE HE SAW THE CAMBODIANS CARVING GANG SYMBOLS

IT'S BECAUSE HE SAW THE CAMBODIANS CARVING GANG SYMBOLS INTO TURBOT'S TORSO.

CAMBODIANS CARVING GANG SYMBOLS INTO TURBOT'S TORSO. >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

INTO TURBOT'S TORSO. >> I DON'T UNDERSTAND. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND. [ LAUGHTER ] HOW DID THE CAMBODIANS GET ALL

[ LAUGHTER ] HOW DID THE CAMBODIANS GET ALL THE WAY TO ADVENTURE BAY?

HOW DID THE CAMBODIANS GET ALL THE WAY TO ADVENTURE BAY? >> OUR ARCHNEMESIS, MAYOR

THE WAY TO ADVENTURE BAY? >> OUR ARCHNEMESIS, MAYOR HUMDINGER.

>> OUR ARCHNEMESIS, MAYOR HUMDINGER. THEY BLACKMAILED HIM WITH NUDE

HUMDINGER. THEY BLACKMAILED HIM WITH NUDE PHOTOS OF HIM HAVING A SEVEN-WAY

THEY BLACKMAILED HIM WITH NUDE PHOTOS OF HIM HAVING A SEVEN-WAY WITH THE ENTIRE KITTEN

PHOTOS OF HIM HAVING A SEVEN-WAY WITH THE ENTIRE KITTEN CATASTROPHE CREW.

WITH THE ENTIRE KITTEN CATASTROPHE CREW. >> AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

CATASTROPHE CREW. >> AND I'D DO IT AGAIN. >> OH!

>> AND I'D DO IT AGAIN. >> OH! >> YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!

>> OH! >> YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! WE SHOULD HAVE BUSTED YOU WHEN

>> YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! WE SHOULD HAVE BUSTED YOU WHEN WE CAUGHT YOU WITH AN UNDERAGE

WE SHOULD HAVE BUSTED YOU WHEN WE CAUGHT YOU WITH AN UNDERAGE PUP.

WE CAUGHT YOU WITH AN UNDERAGE PUP. >> SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS 3.

PUP. >> SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS 3. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS 3. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE OUR FEARLESS LEADER,

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE OUR FEARLESS LEADER, CHASE.

>> YOU'RE OUR FEARLESS LEADER, CHASE. WHAT DO WE DO?

CHASE. WHAT DO WE DO? >> DON'T WORRY, SKYE.

WHAT DO WE DO? >> DON'T WORRY, SKYE. I HAVE A FEELING HUMDINGER'S

>> DON'T WORRY, SKYE. I HAVE A FEELING HUMDINGER'S BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS --

I HAVE A FEELING HUMDINGER'S BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS -- >> AAH!

BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS -- >> AAH! AAH!

>> AAH! AAH! >> HA HA HA HA HA HA!

AAH! >> HA HA HA HA HA HA! CALL ME KRISTI NOEM BECAUSE I

>> HA HA HA HA HA HA! CALL ME KRISTI NOEM BECAUSE I LOVE PUTTING A DOG DOWN.

CALL ME KRISTI NOEM BECAUSE I LOVE PUTTING A DOG DOWN. >> ME TOO.

LOVE PUTTING A DOG DOWN. >> ME TOO. >> OH, IT'S DETECTIVE ICE

>> ME TOO. >> OH, IT'S DETECTIVE ICE MALTESE.

>> OH, IT'S DETECTIVE ICE MALTESE. >> NOW LIE DOWN.

MALTESE. >> NOW LIE DOWN. YEAH.

>> NOW LIE DOWN. YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD LITTLE BITCH.

YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD LITTLE BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S A GOOD LITTLE BITCH. [ LAUGHTER ] "PAW PATROL: SPECIAL VICTIMS

[ LAUGHTER ] "PAW PATROL: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT."

"PAW PATROL: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT." THURSDAYS RIGHT AFTER

UNIT." THURSDAYS RIGHT AFTER "COCOMELON."

>>> THEN I SAID TO MY GYNO, I DON'T NEED A GOWN. BRING IN THE STUDENTS.

DON'T NEED A GOWN. BRING IN THE STUDENTS. HELL, OPEN A WINDOW FOR ALL I

BRING IN THE STUDENTS. HELL, OPEN A WINDOW FOR ALL I I LIKE MINE, AND I KNOW IT'S

HELL, OPEN A WINDOW FOR ALL I I LIKE MINE, AND I KNOW IT'S GOOD.

I LIKE MINE, AND I KNOW IT'S GOOD. >> DENISE, CAN I SAY YOU'RE SO

GOOD. >> DENISE, CAN I SAY YOU'RE SO COOL?

>> DENISE, CAN I SAY YOU'RE SO COOL? >> YOU ARE.

COOL? >> YOU ARE. >> NO, NO --

>> YOU ARE. >> NO, NO -- >> THE BEST.

>> NO, NO -- >> THE BEST. >> I'M NOT.

>> THE BEST. >> I'M NOT. I MEAN, TO BE HONEST, I WAS

>> I'M NOT. I MEAN, TO BE HONEST, I WAS SHOCKED YOU EVEN INVITED ME.

I MEAN, TO BE HONEST, I WAS SHOCKED YOU EVEN INVITED ME. >> YOU'RE OUR FAVORITE PERSON IN

SHOCKED YOU EVEN INVITED ME. >> YOU'RE OUR FAVORITE PERSON IN THE OFFICE.

>> YOU'RE OUR FAVORITE PERSON IN THE OFFICE. >> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?

THE OFFICE. >> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? YOU JUST GIVE ZERO Fs.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? YOU JUST GIVE ZERO Fs. >> GIRLFRIEND, I'M ALLERGIC TO

YOU JUST GIVE ZERO Fs. >> GIRLFRIEND, I'M ALLERGIC TO Fs.

>> GIRLFRIEND, I'M ALLERGIC TO Fs. >> OH, SO COOL, I LOVE THAT.

Fs. >> OH, SO COOL, I LOVE THAT. >> SO FUN.

>> OH, SO COOL, I LOVE THAT. >> SO FUN. >> HEY, EVERYBODY.

>> SO FUN. >> HEY, EVERYBODY. OOH, LOOKS LIKE YOU ENJOYED YOUR

>> HEY, EVERYBODY. OOH, LOOKS LIKE YOU ENJOYED YOUR MEALS.

OOH, LOOKS LIKE YOU ENJOYED YOUR MEALS. CAN I GET ANYONE ANYTHING ELSE?

MEALS. CAN I GET ANYONE ANYTHING ELSE? >> YEAH, I'LL TAKE A DATE WITH A

CAN I GET ANYONE ANYTHING ELSE? >> YEAH, I'LL TAKE A DATE WITH A HEMSWORTH BROTHER.

>> YEAH, I'LL TAKE A DATE WITH A HEMSWORTH BROTHER. >> OKAY, I SEE WHO'S THE COOL

HEMSWORTH BROTHER. >> OKAY, I SEE WHO'S THE COOL ONE AT THIS TABLE.

>> OKAY, I SEE WHO'S THE COOL ONE AT THIS TABLE. >> NAILED IT.

ONE AT THIS TABLE. >> NAILED IT. >> THAT'S ME, THAT'S ME.

>> NAILED IT. >> THAT'S ME, THAT'S ME. EVERY DAY I WAKE UP, I ROLL WITH

>> THAT'S ME, THAT'S ME. EVERY DAY I WAKE UP, I ROLL WITH IT, THEN I --

EVERY DAY I WAKE UP, I ROLL WITH IT, THEN I -- >> OH, MY GOD!

IT, THEN I -- >> OH, MY GOD! >> I'M SORRY.

>> OH, MY GOD! >> I'M SORRY. >> DENISE!

>> I'M SORRY. >> DENISE! >> WHOA.

>> DENISE! >> WHOA. >> OH, MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY.

>> WHOA. >> OH, MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY. >> FOR WHAT?

>> OH, MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY. >> FOR WHAT? [ LAUGHTER ]

>> FOR WHAT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> FOR DROPPING 20 PLATES ON

[ LAUGHTER ] >> FOR DROPPING 20 PLATES ON YOUR HEAD.

>> FOR DROPPING 20 PLATES ON YOUR HEAD. >> OH, WHAT?

YOUR HEAD. >> OH, WHAT? NO, NO.

>> OH, WHAT? NO, NO. SOME STUFF FELL, AND YOU KNOW,

NO, NO. SOME STUFF FELL, AND YOU KNOW, THEY HIT ME A LITTLE, BUT I

SOME STUFF FELL, AND YOU KNOW, THEY HIT ME A LITTLE, BUT I THINK IT MOSTLY GOT YOU.

THEY HIT ME A LITTLE, BUT I THINK IT MOSTLY GOT YOU. >> NO, THEY DID NOT.

THINK IT MOSTLY GOT YOU. >> NO, THEY DID NOT. >> WELL, OKAY.

>> NO, THEY DID NOT. >> WELL, OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT?

>> WELL, OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT ALL HIT ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT ALL HIT ME. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT ALL HIT ME. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT HAPPENS.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? IT HAPPENS. YOU CAN GO, I'M TALKING WITH MY

IT HAPPENS. YOU CAN GO, I'M TALKING WITH MY FRIENDS.

YOU CAN GO, I'M TALKING WITH MY FRIENDS. YEAH, JUST GO, THANK YOU SO

FRIENDS. YEAH, JUST GO, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

YEAH, JUST GO, THANK YOU SO MUCH. WOW.

MUCH. WOW. WELL.

WOW. WELL. HE WAS TRYING TO SMASH.

WELL. HE WAS TRYING TO SMASH. [ LAUGHTER ]

HE WAS TRYING TO SMASH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> DENISE, I THINK HE WAS JUST

[ LAUGHTER ] >> DENISE, I THINK HE WAS JUST CHECKING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE

>> DENISE, I THINK HE WAS JUST CHECKING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE COVERED IN PLATE.

CHECKING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE COVERED IN PLATE. >> YEAH, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO

COVERED IN PLATE. >> YEAH, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?

>> YEAH, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM? >> WHY, Y'ALL TRYING TO --

THE BATHROOM? >> WHY, Y'ALL TRYING TO -- >> CLEAN YOURSELF UP AND MAKE

>> WHY, Y'ALL TRYING TO -- >> CLEAN YOURSELF UP AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY.

>> CLEAN YOURSELF UP AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY. >> MY GOD, I'M FINE.

SURE YOU'RE OKAY. >> MY GOD, I'M FINE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING

>> MY GOD, I'M FINE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?

CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? SERIOUSLY, THESE PLATES ARE LIKE

ELSE? SERIOUSLY, THESE PLATES ARE LIKE PAPER, SERIOUSLY.

SERIOUSLY, THESE PLATES ARE LIKE PAPER, SERIOUSLY. >> REALLY?

PAPER, SERIOUSLY. >> REALLY? THEY SEEMED HUGE.

>> REALLY? THEY SEEMED HUGE. >> ARE YOU -- OKAY.

THEY SEEMED HUGE. >> ARE YOU -- OKAY. >> MY GOD.

>> ARE YOU -- OKAY. >> MY GOD. >> GEEZ.

>> MY GOD. >> GEEZ. >> STOP!

>> GEEZ. >> STOP! >> NO!

>> STOP! >> NO! >> HEY!

>> NO! >> HEY! [ LAUGHTER ]

>> HEY! [ LAUGHTER ] >> DID THAT PROVE IT?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> DID THAT PROVE IT? I'M FINE.

>> DID THAT PROVE IT? I'M FINE. >> PROVE WHAT?

I'M FINE. >> PROVE WHAT? >> DENISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

>> PROVE WHAT? >> DENISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE EVERYTHING'S FINE,

>> DENISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE EVERYTHING'S FINE, OKAY?

PRETEND LIKE EVERYTHING'S FINE, OKAY? WE STILL THINK YOU ROCK IT.

OKAY? WE STILL THINK YOU ROCK IT. WE'RE JUST WORRIED.

WE STILL THINK YOU ROCK IT. WE'RE JUST WORRIED. >> REALLY?

WE'RE JUST WORRIED. >> REALLY? >> YES.

>> REALLY? >> YES. >> OF COURSE.

>> YES. >> OF COURSE. >> BECAUSE I'M IN SOME PAIN.

>> OF COURSE. >> BECAUSE I'M IN SOME PAIN. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> BECAUSE I'M IN SOME PAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YES, YEAH.

[ LAUGHTER ] >> YES, YEAH. >> TOTALLY.

>> YES, YEAH. >> TOTALLY. >> THE GUY DROPPED PLATES ON

>> TOTALLY. >> THE GUY DROPPED PLATES ON YOUR HEAD, COME ON.

>> THE GUY DROPPED PLATES ON YOUR HEAD, COME ON. >> I CAN SMELL MY BLOOD.

YOUR HEAD, COME ON. >> I CAN SMELL MY BLOOD. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> I CAN SMELL MY BLOOD. [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN FEEL MY BONES.

[ LAUGHTER ] I CAN FEEL MY BONES. AT ONE POINT I SAW THE NINJA

I CAN FEEL MY BONES. AT ONE POINT I SAW THE NINJA TURTLES WALK IN THE ROOM.

AT ONE POINT I SAW THE NINJA TURTLES WALK IN THE ROOM. [ LAUGHTER ]

TURTLES WALK IN THE ROOM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> CAN YOU SEE THEM NOW?

[ LAUGHTER ] >> CAN YOU SEE THEM NOW? >> NO.

>> CAN YOU SEE THEM NOW? >> NO. WHOLE ROOM WENT BLACK WHEN THE

>> NO. WHOLE ROOM WENT BLACK WHEN THE PLATES HAPPENED.

WHOLE ROOM WENT BLACK WHEN THE PLATES HAPPENED. [ LAUGHTER ]

PLATES HAPPENED. [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

[ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. I'VE JUST BEEN MOVING MY HEAD

I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. I'VE JUST BEEN MOVING MY HEAD BACK AND FORTH, JUST HOPING I'M

I'VE JUST BEEN MOVING MY HEAD BACK AND FORTH, JUST HOPING I'M TALKING TO ONE OF YOU.

BACK AND FORTH, JUST HOPING I'M TALKING TO ONE OF YOU. >> DENISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO

TALKING TO ONE OF YOU. >> DENISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO --

>> DENISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO -- >> STOP.

DO -- >> STOP. TONIGHT WAS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO

>> STOP. TONIGHT WAS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO ME.

TONIGHT WAS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I WANTED YOU GUYS TO LIKE ME.

ME. I WANTED YOU GUYS TO LIKE ME. I EVEN GOT MY HAIR AND MAKEUP

I WANTED YOU GUYS TO LIKE ME. I EVEN GOT MY HAIR AND MAKEUP PROFESSIONALLY DONE.

I EVEN GOT MY HAIR AND MAKEUP PROFESSIONALLY DONE. [ LAUGHTER ]

PROFESSIONALLY DONE. [ LAUGHTER ] DOES IT STILL LOOK GOOD?

[ LAUGHTER ] DOES IT STILL LOOK GOOD? GUYS?

DOES IT STILL LOOK GOOD? GUYS? ARE YOU HERE?

GUYS? ARE YOU HERE? GUYS?

ARE YOU HERE? GUYS? [ LAUGHTER ]

GUYS? [ LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ]

[ LAUGHTER ] [ LAUGHTER ] WELL.

[ LAUGHTER ] WELL. I GUESS THEY ALL LEFT.

WELL. I GUESS THEY ALL LEFT. [ LAUGHTER ]

I GUESS THEY ALL LEFT. [ LAUGHTER ] PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.

[ LAUGHTER ] PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. WELL, NOW THAT I'M ALONE.

PROBABLY FOR THE BEST. WELL, NOW THAT I'M ALONE. NO REASON NOT TO DO THIS.

WELL, NOW THAT I'M ALONE. NO REASON NOT TO DO THIS. [ FART SOUND ]

NO REASON NOT TO DO THIS. [ FART SOUND ] EASY.

[ FART SOUND ] EASY. [ FART SOUND ]

EASY. [ FART SOUND ] EASY DOES IT.

[ FART SOUND ] EASY DOES IT. DON'T GET COCKY, DON'T GET

EASY DOES IT. DON'T GET COCKY, DON'T GET COCKY.

DON'T GET COCKY, DON'T GET COCKY. JUST ENOUGH TO GET US HOME.

COCKY. JUST ENOUGH TO GET US HOME. [ FART SOUND ]

JUST ENOUGH TO GET US HOME. [ FART SOUND ] EASY, LAND THE PLANE.

[ FART SOUND ] EASY, LAND THE PLANE. [ FART SOUND ]

EASY, LAND THE PLANE. [ FART SOUND ] A LITTLE TURBULENCE.

[ FART SOUND ] A LITTLE TURBULENCE. [ FART SOUND ]

A LITTLE TURBULENCE. [ FART SOUND ] AND TOUCHDOWN!

[ FART SOUND ] AND TOUCHDOWN! [ FART SOUND ]

AND TOUCHDOWN! [ FART SOUND ] >> DENISE?

[ FART SOUND ] >> DENISE? [ FART SOUND ARE ]

>> DENISE? [ FART SOUND ARE ] >> WE'RE STILL HERE.

[ FART SOUND ARE ] >> WE'RE STILL HERE. >> PERFECT.

>> WE'RE STILL HERE. >> PERFECT. [ LAUGHTER ]

>> PERFECT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> ONCE AGAIN, GRACIE ABRAMS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

¶¶ ¶¶ ¶ HELL FROZE IN MY BEDROOM

¶¶ ¶ HELL FROZE IN MY BEDROOM A PHENOMENON I CAME TO

¶ HELL FROZE IN MY BEDROOM A PHENOMENON I CAME TO HALF-BELIEVING I NEVER

A PHENOMENON I CAME TO HALF-BELIEVING I NEVER MET YOU BEFORE ¶

HALF-BELIEVING I NEVER MET YOU BEFORE ¶ ¶ THAT'S WHEN YOU DECIDE

MET YOU BEFORE ¶ ¶ THAT'S WHEN YOU DECIDE YOU WANT MORE ¶

¶ THAT'S WHEN YOU DECIDE YOU WANT MORE ¶ ¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK

YOU WANT MORE ¶ ¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC

¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC FEELINGS ¶

IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC FEELINGS ¶ ¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS

FEELINGS ¶ ¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M GOOD

¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M GOOD WHEN I'M SO

WHEN I'M GOOD WHEN I'M SO SECURELY ATTACHED ¶

WHEN I'M SO SECURELY ATTACHED ¶ ¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE

SECURELY ATTACHED ¶ ¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC

¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO

UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ ¶ GO OH SPIT IT OUT

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ ¶ GO OH SPIT IT OUT SAY WHAT YOU'RE AFTER

¶ GO OH SPIT IT OUT SAY WHAT YOU'RE AFTER PULL DOORS IN MY LIFE

SAY WHAT YOU'RE AFTER PULL DOORS IN MY LIFE UNTIL IT SHATTERS ¶

PULL DOORS IN MY LIFE UNTIL IT SHATTERS ¶ ¶ OH SO MY WELL-BEING'S

UNTIL IT SHATTERS ¶ ¶ OH SO MY WELL-BEING'S NOT A FACTOR

¶ OH SO MY WELL-BEING'S NOT A FACTOR NO IT NEVER STOPPED ME

NOT A FACTOR NO IT NEVER STOPPED ME LOVING YOU BEFORE ¶

NO IT NEVER STOPPED ME LOVING YOU BEFORE ¶ ¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK

LOVING YOU BEFORE ¶ ¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC

¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC FEELINGS ¶

IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC FEELINGS ¶ ¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS

FEELINGS ¶ ¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M GOOD

¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M GOOD WHEN I'M SO

WHEN I'M GOOD WHEN I'M SO SECURELY ATTACHED ¶

WHEN I'M SO SECURELY ATTACHED ¶ ¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE

SECURELY ATTACHED ¶ ¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC

¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO

UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ ¶ CALL ME YOUR MIRACLE

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ ¶ CALL ME YOUR MIRACLE KILL AND DIE

¶ CALL ME YOUR MIRACLE KILL AND DIE AND MAKE IT GROW

KILL AND DIE AND MAKE IT GROW AH AH AH ¶

AND MAKE IT GROW AH AH AH ¶ ¶ HERE YOU COME

AH AH AH ¶ ¶ HERE YOU COME RIGHT ON CUE

¶ HERE YOU COME RIGHT ON CUE BREAK MY HEART

RIGHT ON CUE BREAK MY HEART AND MAKE IT NEW ¶

BREAK MY HEART AND MAKE IT NEW ¶ ¶ WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO

AND MAKE IT NEW ¶ ¶ WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO AH AH AH ¶

¶ WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO AH AH AH ¶ ¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK

AH AH AH ¶ ¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC

¶ NOW YOU'RE WANTING BACK IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC FEELINGS ¶

IN YOUR BIG DRAMATIC FEELINGS ¶ ¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS

FEELINGS ¶ ¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M GOOD

¶ FUNNY HOW IT HAPPENS WHEN I'M GOOD WHEN I'M SO

WHEN I'M GOOD WHEN I'M SO SECURELY ATTACHED ¶

WHEN I'M SO SECURELY ATTACHED ¶ ¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE

SECURELY ATTACHED ¶ ¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC

¶ I'M A DOUBLE-KNOTTED ROPE UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO

UNDO ME LIKE MAGIC HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ ¶¶

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ ¶¶ ¶ HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO

¶¶ ¶ HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO

¶ HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶

HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO HERE YOU COME THERE YOU GO ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SALT-N-PEPA!

>>> THANKS TO GRACIE ABRAMS, TOM HANKS, BOBBY MOYNIHAN, PAT MURPHY, CHRISTIAN YELICH AND

TOM HANKS, BOBBY MOYNIHAN, PAT MURPHY, CHRISTIAN YELICH AND BRYCE.

MURPHY, CHRISTIAN YELICH AND BRYCE. HAPPY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

BRYCE. HAPPY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HAPPY, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶