Original subtitles

Please, Miss Norman.

This just isn't right.

What wasn't right was that F you gave me on the biology test.

How can I stay in my sorority with a grade like that?

Miss Norman.

Miss Norman.

Miss Norman, there's nothing I can do about that.

You know the rules.

Miss Norman?

Maybe a D minus.

But that's... There's nothing more.

Maybe a D plus. Maybe a D plus.

But nothing more.

That's as far as I can go.

Oh, dear me.

A C, a C then.

But that's the most...

C plus. C plus.

B minus.

B minus. B minus. B minus.

B. B.

B. B. B.

B. B. B. B plus.

B plus.

B plus. B plus.

A minus.

A minus. A minus. A minus.

A. A.

A. A.

A. A.

A plus.

Plus. A plus. Plus. Plus. Plus. Plus. Plus. Plus.

Oh Janice, oh Janice, Janice, Janice.

Oh, oh yes.

Oh, oh yes.

Oh, oh help me. Oh, give me the baby.

Oh, poor little thing.

Janice.

Oh yes.

Show me your tits,

Janice. Please show me your tits.

You ready for me?

I'm gonna let the sweet little baby come home.

I've been waiting so long.

Good baby.

Yeah, good baby.

I'm gonna let the sweet little baby come home.

Cheers.

That bitch has no right to use our bathroom.

Janice, y'all should be more respectful.

After all, Kimberly is the sorority president, and the queen weaver can use

any old bathroom she wants. That's the way it is.

Well, you girls may be pledges, but this is your bathroom, and it does seem like

she could use her own.

Well, we're in a hurry, and this is important.

Don't worry, Alice.

The boys will wait a little longer.

I wish the boys were a little longer.

Don't get it.

Randy, get the fuck out of the toilet.

Hey, Joey, I like that tie. Yeah?

Pretty sharp, right? Yeah. Do me a resplendence, my man.

I can wear any fucking thing I want to. This outfit is really going to turn

Janice on. I know it.

I wonder how much I, Dean Spears, you remember W.R.? And these are two of his

employees who will be covering the story for us. Harry, Fred.

All right, all right, all right. Listen,

Dean Spears, I understand.

You've been doing a little research for us. I'm very anxious to hear about it.

It's simple. You intend to do a story on sorority girls and their handsome white

knight fraternity brothers?

It won't work.

To put it bluntly, W.R., the girls from your daughter's sorority, they're dating

some of the most obnoxious, disgusting, ignorant pieces of whale shit.

Impossible!

Hey, but, but, but, listen now, mean spirit, I don't like your language, but

I admire a woman who doesn't mix words.

Yeah, don't, don't, don't, don't miss words.

Now, minutes, minutes, I said.

Those boys are from a fraternity known locally as Upa U Omega.

You must tell your daughter, Kimberly, to have her girls dump those dingbats

until after graduation.

And then we'll fix the girls up with proper men from a proper fraternity, and

the problem will be solved.

I need spirit.

Kimberly, this is Letitia.

You just got a call from the dean's office. He wants to report there right

away.

Shit. I wonder what that idiot wants now.

Hey, Kimberly, aren't you taking a shower with me?

Letitia, no one is to leave the house until I get back. If anyone tries to

leave, they're to be grounded for a month.

I want everyone here just in case there's any trouble. Understood?

Good. That's not fair.

We have dates and they're expecting us.

Don't worry about the boys.

I'm sure that waiting another hour won't dry you up.

Come on, Leticia.

What won't dry up?

Oh, my God.

You know, Jamie, you really know everything about women, don't you?

Just about.

No way. I want to try and play.

Ah, fuck this game.

Look, I don't know about you, But I'm going out and have some dinner and get

some pussy.

And I think you should do the same.

Good night.

Hey, Jamie.

I want to talk to you about something.

Something.

It's about Desiree.

You know, she and I, we have a wonderful sort of, well, mental relationship. And,

well, I was wondering if maybe you'd let me watch you and Angela do it.

You know, just so I know what to do.

Yeah, sure, sure.

You mean you really let me watch?

Really?

Sure, sure. Anything for brother. Oh, thank you. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

You'll be our liaison.

Keep tabs on things for us. What is it that you wanted, Dean, but I haven't got

on? Daddy!

Oh!

Daddy, what are you doing here?

Well, honey, I'm here to make you internationally famous.

Magazine's going to do an article on you and your sorority.

The whole campus.

Oh, Daddy, Daddy, that's wonderful.

Hey, hey, hey. Right out of the box.

Oh. Good.

But, uh, first, Dean Spear has something to talk to you about. Oh. Oh.

Kimberly?

Ladies, and I use the term loosely, I have some good news and I have some bad

news.

First, my father...

intends to do a cover story in News Month magazine on our sorority.

Now, the bad news for some of you is that for the rest of this year,

girls from this sorority will be allowed to date only men from Phi Upsilon

Delta.

After tonight, any girl from this house caught with men

from any fraternity other than Phi Upsilon Delta will be dropped from the

magazine article and from this sorority.

Is that clear?

I can't be serious.

We haven't fucked in three days.

Three goddamn days.

This is killing me.

How can you say no?

I have to say no.

You always say no when you mean yes.

I mean it this time, Joey.

No. What's going on here? You want to fuck me, right?

I do. I do, Joey.

I love it with you the best. You know that.

But I can't.

I can't. I can't.

Look, first you hug me and tell me you want to fuck me, then you push me away

and say you can't.

Are you some kind of schizophrenic?

Oh, Joey, I want to. I want to. I want to. Please, no, I can't. I can't. I

can't. Trying to bust my balls?

What you bring me here for?

To tell you I can't see you anymore.

Jamie, what makes you so good?

Oh, 12 years fucking around in the same college helps.

You have eight degrees now. Don't you ever want to leave and go out in the

world? You miss all the good fucking.

You make me want to stay home myself.

Degree after degree after degree.

And yet you tell me that we're not going to be seeing each other for a while.

Yes, I am.

Look, Angie, we're obviously very good for each other.

I mean, for how long are you talking about?

Or you won't tell me, or what? I can't tell you.

It's the sorority, isn't it?

You think I'm not good enough for you, is that it?

Come on, honey.

I always gave you credit for minding your own.

No, God damn it, no.

God damn you.

So what? The condemned man is allowed a last meal, isn't he?

Well, feast and all feasts. Something to remember.

I came here tonight to tell you that it's all over. We can't fuck anymore.

What do you mean we can't fuck anymore? How could we fuck any less?

You never even let me put it in there.

Put what in? You're suffering from delusions of grandeur. Shh.

Come on. You're going to let everybody hear.

Come on. Let me eat your pussy.

You'll feel better.

I gave my word.

To who?

I mean, to whom?

See ya.

I just love going with the wind.

Thank you for taking me, Chilton.

How are y'all coming along with your computer idea?

That's our programming idea, Desi.

Now that you mention it, there is a problem that, well, I'd rather not

handle myself anymore.

Well, y'all have a problem I can help you with?

Shoot, boy, we'll just put our heads to this problem, then.

Well, I bet between the two of us, we could have made that computer do just

about anything.

What do you mean, could have?

Huh? You know, could have. You used the past tense.

I did, didn't I?

I have something to tell you, Chilton.

Something as sad as gone with the wind.

Yeah, there's... There's something that I want to talk to you about, too.

Me first.

What is it?

I forgot.

Children, I can't see y'all anymore.

Not at all.

And I can't even tell you why.

Oh.

But I can see the headlines now.

Joseph Antonioni Mariano, the New Jersey Marianos, died today of terminal blue

balls.

They needed two caskets, one for him, one for his swollen nuts.

Tell me what's happening. Tell me all about it.

It's awful.

Kimberly's father, W.R., he's got this magazine, and they want to publish some

sort of story about us. I mean, the sorority, doing all sorts of home and

away from home stuff. Come on, come on.

Let's move it.

Let's go. I want to get in place. I don't want to be left out of this

picture. John!

Let me tell you a few things.

One, no one is taking any pictures until I am ready.

Two, don't ever touch me.

Not unless I instruct you to do so.

You remember, you and your fraternity weren't my choice. You were Dean Spears.

As far as I'm concerned, you're a prop.

Now, I want to talk with Letitia.

Privately. Sure, sure.

Damn dyke bitch.

If I didn't want to be in this article, I... I could kill those bastards with my

bare hands.

Look at the way that asshole is holding on to my Janice. Hey, relax.

Relax. Everything will be okay.

Now, Jamie, are you sure this plan you and Chili came up with is going to work?

Because I don't want nothing happening to my Alice. You understand?

Take it easy. Take it easy.

I just put this plan through the computer this morning.

Our plan is foolproof.

Now, the first step is getting our ringer in that sorority.

And we're going into town to take care of that just as soon as your Alice gets

us the information we need, okay?

Come on, Jamie. Let's go over the plan some more. Okay.

Hey, no mistakes. Don't forget.

All right. Is everything ready?

Let's get started. We have to be across campus in less than an hour.

Are you too sure you know what you're doing?

You know, Daddy wants this perfect.

I'd like to show this camera up that bitch's twat, you know?

Uh, just perfect, perfect.

Oh, good.

Let's go.

Everybody smile.

Joey, they catch me. It's my ass.

Hey, don't worry.

Everything will be okay. Let the world go down the tubes. I'm going to protect

your ass.

Now, did you find out what we needed to know?

Yes. Everyone is leaving the house this afternoon except for one girl.

They're going downtown for a luncheon with W.R. and then to a movie.

I think he wants to show his appreciation or something.

Anyway, the girl that's being left behind is going to give a tour to this

reporter and photographer so they can get some pictures and a story about her

home away from home stuff.

Anyway, what are you guys planning?

God, Joey, if it doesn't work, that's my... Yeah, I know. Look, I know. It's

your ass.

Pretty good ass, too.

Look, don't worry. Believe me. Now, this is Joey, right? I'm gonna take care of

you. Now, Chilton and Jamie have the whole thing arranged under my

supervision, of course.

So you just relax and trust me.

No, please, not now.

But be careful.

Did you get all that?

Chili and I are going to head to town.

You get the other guys, set the stuff up.

I'll meet you behind the sorority house in three hours.

Hi there. You must be Jamie.

That's right.

Vanessa's told us a lot about you.

Oh, yeah?

Chilly, Vanessa's the girl I told you about.

She's the one we're gonna put in that sorority house and wreck this fucking

magazine project.

Don't worry about a thing.

So, uh, we got an appointment with her here. Is she gonna show up?

Yes, you're supposed to go up to the apartment with us. She's gonna be tied

up for a few minutes.

Us?

Yes. Lil, come here.

This is Jamie. Hi.

He's gonna go up to the apartment with us and wait for Vanessa.

Oh, that sounds great.

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Let's go.

Yeah, all right, sure.

Let me help you down here.

Shall we go?

Sure.

Oh, yeah, silly, yeah, yeah. Come on, sorry.

And me.

Yes.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Oh.

three two one

Yes.

Thank you.

Well, just in time, aren't I?

Now we'll see what you're really made of, Jamie.

Gotcha, straight arrow.

Hey, when we get done with this and those two fuckers from the magazine

report back to WR, they're going to drop this project so fucking fast.

Yeah, and we're going to have the girls back then. Come on, Jamie.

No, ma'am. No, ma'am. We're the men from the Quickie Laundry Supply. And we

brought you some of our new product, this new soap we just came out with.

We'd like you to take a sample. See if you like the smell of it, would you?

Yeah, take a whiff. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Another one?

Great. Good.

She's gone.

All right. Drag her upstairs, and we'll put Vanessa in her pose. All right.

We'll get you.

Where are those two reporters?

Okay, let's get the fuck out of here.

Renata, you ready?

Come on. My own mother wouldn't recognize me.

Hey, how long is this super event going to take us, huh?

No rush, just a couple of hours.

W.R. is taking the girls to lunch and he's taking them out to the movies.

Oh, we need some atmosphere shots of this place.

And one of the sorority girls is going to show us around here.

Wait a minute.

This big beautiful house, the two of us, and this one girl?

Forget it.

Boss caught us screwing around here and he crucified us. Besides, the girl got

this job because she belongs to one of those religious organizations that, you

know, they don't believe in movies or fucking.

Right. Damn.

All this good-looking college pussy running around.

I can't stand it. I can't stand it. I got this.

Twitching them a ding-dong right here, you know what I mean?

Just keep your ding-dong in your pants. I gonna try. I gonna try.

Hi, are you the man from the magazine?

Yes, ma'am.

We found the front door open, so we just made ourselves at home.

Oh, yes, of course.

Would you like to see the basement, the main floor?

Or the upstairs first? I'd like to have a nice look at the upstairs there, if

you don't mind.

The upstairs would be a great place to start.

Okay, we can start upstairs and then work our way down.

Oh, oops, I forgot. I have to go upstairs and check to see if everything

is all clean and everything, you know? You two wait right here, okay?

Oh, Kimberly made some sandwiches.

Would either of you like anything to eat first?

Well, okay, maybe later, but she did say anything you wanted, so just let me

know.

Quick, tell me how the boss is gonna kill us.

We take advantage of this. The boss is going to kill us. Good. Now ask me if I

care. Get control of yourself.

We've got to get some pictures and get out of here. I ain't going to make it. I

ain't going to make it. I ain't going to make it. Look at that. You see that? I

ain't going to make it. I can't stand it. This twitching's driving me. Okie

dokie. All ready.

Is there something wrong with your friend?

There seems to be.

Having a hard time.

Here, let me help you.

Look at it.

Look at it.

Control yourself.

My baby doll is twitching itself to death.

Well, there's this room.

Just a minute.

What's in this room down here?

What is in that room?

That girl has this chain and this sign over here.

Well, I don't think I should show you that room.

Wait a minute. Didn't Kimberly tell you that whatever we want to see, you have

to show us?

Like I said, I don't think I should show you that room.

Come on. I'll bet you even have the key to this room.

Oh, sure.

I come up here all the time. They let me watch and everything.

Watch? Watch what? What goes on in this room?

It's sort of combination game and trophy room. All the sororities have them. Oh,

really? And do the sororities also keep the chain like that also?

I guess so. I don't know.

Oh, what the heck. Kimberly did say anything you wanted.

But you have to promise not to say anything just in case you might get mad,

okay? We promise.

I can't believe this.

You see all this?

You and me have just made the find of the century.

I feel like those two reporters are... Woodburn and... Woodburn and Bornstein

or something?

You say you get to come up here and watch? Oh, sure.

Sometimes they let me play, too.

What are some of these things?

What's that, for example?

Well, those are trophies. You know, casts of the boys who have been up here

before. Oh, wait.

Can I have a picture of you posing with one of them? I guess so.

This is just for us, you understand.

We're not going to show these to anybody else.

Okay.

Gee, this is fun. I've never been up here by myself before.

Let me show you.

This one's funny, huh? This belongs to Dean Butts.

That's his little ducky.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

And that one?

Oh, that's a special sort of trophy. That belongs to the girl's favorite.

These piles of pendies are from all different dates and places. See, all

signed and everything.

And these, these are the nights they played with the whole football team.

And this pile over here is from the night they tested the professors.

Each one represents a different professor.

And this?

Oh, that works like this.

Who gives?

Oh, I gotta come in for a real close-up on this one. I got a wide-angle lens.

Uh,

let me ask you a question.

Uh, what is about... What is all this?

Oh, Kimberly uses those to... Because she doesn't do boys, just girls.

No? How do they work?

Well, let's see.

Just turn him on, I guess.

And it is flushed.

Look at this.

Oh, that feels so good.

Oh, I don't think it's wet enough.

Oh, here. Let me help.

Oh, gee, thanks.

Oh, what are you going to do?

Oh, I want to start to eat. That's what I'm going to do.

Oh, I can't stand watching this anymore.

Ooh.

Ooh, that's nice.

What's this?

Ooh.

Ooh, that's nice.

What's this?

Oh, you put that on duckies. So when girls lick it, it tastes better.

Like this?

Oh, yes.

Then what?

Then it tastes like candy.

And the girls can eat.

Oh, that's good candy.

Good candy.

Oh gee, this is so much fun.

Now, just suck on it, thank you.

Oh, yeah.

That's nice.

Doug, these taste so good.

Let's fuck some. No, let's play dress up.

Oh, this is so much fun.

You want to do it?

Sure. All right, let's play dress up. Let's play dress up. How do we do it?

What do we do?

Oh, we just get into all these crazy costumes. Come on, I'll show you. Show

her we'll bring the girls back later, honey.

What, Dad? None!

Don't worry, Daddy. When the girls get back, we'll find out who did this.

So Daddy's been very generous.

If any of you can tell me who was behind this, then they won't be dropped from

the magazine article or from the sorority.

We just want to make sure that nothing else happens to spoil our chances.

This probably just started as some sort of a harmless joke.

Perhaps one of the other fraternities who weren't included in the article.

Boys will be boys.

Now, how did these boys know that we weren't going to be in the house?

Can anyone answer that?

Someone's missing.

Where is little Alice?

The library.

She's at the library.

Yes, poor girl's been so upset she's just a-throwing herself into her

studies. I'll go get her now if you want.

Sit down, Angela.

I think that, um, you would be better off here helping the other girls clean

up that horrid mess upstairs.

Letitia, I would like you to go to the library and tell Alice that she would be

better off helping us clean up here.

Sure, Kimberly.

If she is at the library.

Kimberly. She went to Upper U Omega.

Thank you, Leticia.

What are you doing here? Come on.

I just wanted to let you know I wasn't mad at you about yesterday.

Mad? I'm the one that's mad. What do you call mad?

Pretend it's a dream.

A wet dream.

No, we can't do this. These guys are going to see us. I think we should be

together. Please, just a quickie, Joey, please.

We'll be real quiet.

Oh shit.

Oh no.

Oh.

Oh.

What the fuck?

It's alright, Joey, baby. Don't worry about it. Come here. Give me a kiss.

It's alright.

Come on.

It's alright.

I told you nobody would hear us.

I told you nobody would hear us.

Can't control what is this shit?

I'm supposed to be a man This

fucking

bullshit these fucking women it's gonna go this weekend

It seems that you haven't kept very strong control over this project.

It seems that one of the fraternities managed... Oh, I really, really...

Butts, I'm sorry.

I know what happened. I don't need any more information.

Spear!

I put you in charge of these things. I thought you could handle it. But God

darn it, a bunch of perverts attacked my little daughter here and almost ruined

the whole thing.

Really, Dick?

you haven't done a very good job.

I was so scared, and they had a bunch of awful, disgusting things.

I was terrified.

This poor child's mind almost was clouded with the perverted things she's

seen and been exposed to.

I want those responsible crucified.

That's right, Miss Spear, or he'll have your job.

Now, we're having a party tomorrow night to celebrate wrapping this thing up.

If anything else happens, I'll have more... and your job.

There is one way to guarantee that you won't have any more problems.

Huh.

There's no way to prove yet that the boys from Up A You Omega had anything to

do with this. Suppose they did.

There's no way to stop them from trying something else.

What are your suggestions, Spear?

Let the boys from Up A You be in the article with their girlfriends.

We can keep an eye on them.

for even suggesting it. Daddy, please, don't let them near my house. Don't,

honey. Don't worry, honey.

That's stupid, Spear.

But if anything else happens, you're finished.

You heard the man.

Get going.

No time for sightseeing.

Damn it!

Desi! Desi!

Jim, what y'all doing here? Why, if Kimberly saw you, she would... Shh!

I haven't got any time. I want you to meet me in the computer room at 7 o

'clock. Now, I need your help for the new plan.

Well, Mr. Bullock, your last plan didn't work.

That's because you weren't there to help me. Now, please, Desi.

Tim and Anthony blocked the third. I never knew y'all were so romantic. Of

course I'll be there.

I miss you.

Now y'all scoot down before someone sees you.

Okay, Des. See you later.

Boy, this sex business is more complicated than I thought.

The possibilities, they're endless.

As you all know, we usually have a hell week for the pledges just prior to their

initiation.

However, my father's article has taken up a considerable amount of the time, so

we have had to condense all of hell week into just this one afternoon.

Now, you shouldn't feel too badly about that. You've gotten off very easily.

What do we have to do?

Oh, nothing much, really. We do all the work.

Now... This is just a simple initiation ceremony to welcome you into the

sisterhood. Letitia, is everything ready?

Now, the first thing that every good sister should know is who her other

sisters are.

Pledges, off with your blouses.

Pledges, you have one minute to identify your sisters by touch alone.

Go.

So much for the sense of touch.

Pledges on your knees.

Members, show your colors.

Members, give the pledges their weapons.

Pledges, stand up in a line and remove your panties.

Bend over, spread your legs.

You must face the world without disdain, so now you learn of pleasure and pain.

Place the humming wands of pleasure against your little pearls.

I don't get it.

Angela, show her.

pledges, walk slowly around the room, paying close attention to the

pleasure while ignoring the pain.

Pledges remove your blindfolds. You have just taken the first steps towards

becoming members of the best sorority on this or any other campus.

I want to welcome you into the fold.

We are all sisters now.

Now, tonight we're all going to go to the game and have our pictures taken

with the football team for the magazine article.

Then we're going to go to the game.

and show some school spirit.

That is, we're all going to go except for Alice.

You see, some sisters aren't as dependable as others.

Some make very bad mistakes.

Come here, Alice.

Now, I think that you should all know That Sister Alice here set us

up for that terrible attempt to discredit us that occurred yesterday.

Now, to show you how fair I am, I'm not going to have her thrown out of the

sorority or out of the magazine article.

We're just going to see that she gets a little extra punishment.

Now, wait a minute. That's not fair. She's got to have a trial.

Angela, if you keep standing up for this girl, I might think you had something to

do with this.

And I wouldn't be anywhere near so lenient with you.

The rest of you pledges go upstairs and get ready for the game.

And remember, nothing is going to stop us from being on Daddy's News Month

magazine cover.

Now go.

Alice, take the rest of your clothes off. I have a special surprise for you.

Letitia?

Isn't he pretty, Alice?

I said, isn't he pretty?

Ow!

For Christ's sake!

Yes, he's pretty.

That's better. Now you just do and say what I tell you and you'll be all right.

John, show Alice your paddle.

Now, doesn't that nice big paddle turn you on?

Tell him it makes your box all hot and creamy, Alice.

I... It makes my box.

All hot and creamy.

Look at it!

Look at it!

Now tell him you want to suck his cock all the way down your throat.

Say it!

I want to suck your cock clear down my throat.

You heard her, John. She wants you. Let's get going.

Kimberly, you can't do this. You're taking it too damn far.

Shut up, Angela.

How would you like to tell your parents why you got kicked out of the sorority?

If you don't like it, you get the hell out.

You're a dog, aren't you?

Answer me.

Yes, yes, I'm a dog.

Well, that tells you probably want to be fucked like a dog, don't you?

Don't you, Alice?

What?

What did you say?

Yes. Say it. Yes, I want to be fucked like a dog.

to fuck you, don't you, Alice?

Don't you?

You feel bad about being a traitor to the sorority and you want me to fuck

you, don't you? Say it, Alice.

wanted to come all over.

Celebration dinner.

Look, maybe I went too far. I don't know.

But I can't afford to be crossed. Not now, not ever.

Do you understand?

You got it?

Leticia, come on.

I just couldn't leave you all alone, Alice.

Go on, Desi. We know you have a meeting with Chilton.

We can take care of that.

Well, it's just that children seem so disparate, so needy, y'all know?

And I just... He needs me to work out the plan, and I just love the way his

head works.

You're a genius sometimes. You know, that brilliant mind of yours sometimes

just doesn't grasp the basics.

I don't think the head he has in mind is the head that you have in mind, lady.

I don't understand.

Why don't you just run along, Desi, and have a good time? We'll take care of

things here.

Okay, but I'm doing this for all of us. You too, Alice.

Bye.

How can a girl with a body like that be so dumb for so long?

Well, y'all know she's just a southern belle waiting to be run.

I wonder if Chilton's got a big enough clapper.

Everyone's supposed to be at the game.

We just stayed behind to look after Alice.

Alice? What's wrong with Alice?

What's going on here?

Kimberly, the bitch.

Kimberly punished Alice for helping the boys try to discredit this stupid,

stinking sorority.

What do you mean, punish Alice?

If... That little bitch has taken things into her own hands. I'm gonna nail her

ass against the wall.

And her father can drop dead.

Now tell me what you're talking about.

Why, Tim Anthony Bullock III, I never knew y'all were so romantic.

Neither did I, Desi.

Now we have to wait for the computer to reprogram.

What do we do till then?

Well, that's what this here is for.

Desi, there's something I want to talk to you about.

What is it, Chilton Anthony Bullock III?

That's what I want to talk to you about.

You see, I wish you wouldn't call me by my full name.

It makes me sound like an uncle or something.

Why don't you call me Chilly or Chilton?

Oh, y'all, nothing like my Uncle Chilton.

See, it's just that Gone with the Wind was my favorite movie of all time, and

your full name sounds so distinguished and all, like a gentleman's name from

the old South.

Y'all see? Y'all understand?

I think so.

Here's to us.

To Scarlett and me.

To Rhett and Scarlett.

I love it. Can I call you Rhett? Rhett?

Sure, anytime.

Are those the notes for our plan?

Oh, well, yeah. Well, no, not exactly.

Jamie and his friends, they helped me with these.

Oh, y'all much smarter than they are, Chilton.

That's true about some things.

But... Oh, well... Oh, hell, Desi, I love you.

And I think you love me, too. And... Well, when two people love each other,

they... Well, I mean, maybe we could... Oh, hell, I don't know.

What? Huh?

Don't be so surprised.

I have feelings, too, you know. It's just that... Well...

I never... Oh, no, neither have I. That's what these are for.

Jamie and his friends, they helped me with these, so... Well, so that I'd know

how to do it.

It? You mean the it?

I don't want to hear any more.

Kimberly's gone too damn far this time.

You girls have got to trust me. I'm switching teams.

What do you mean?

Yeah, what's the big switch? I thought you were working for Butts and W.R.

Look, I don't work for anyone but myself.

I've had enough of those two.

I'm gonna go over to the upper U-house and see what they're up to.

I just might be able to help them out.

Are you girls gonna be okay?

Well, all we've done is stay here with Alice.

Kimberly might scream or holler or ground us, but she wouldn't go any

further than that.

The sisters are pretty pissed at her for this thing with Alice. She wouldn't risk

making them any angrier.

All right.

But you girls be careful and keep this meeting to yourselves, all right?

Miss Dizzy, I've got to check my notes.

Frankly, Chilly, I don't give a damn.

We should experiment ourselves.

Desi, you don't have to do it if you don't want to.

The Yankees are here yet.

Jenna said I knew what to do. I think I did.

I love you, Jenna.

Oh, chilly.

Oh.

Oh, fill me up. Oh, make love

to me.

with us all the way. When she saw what happened to Allison, how she got roughed

up, she came right to our side. And that motherfucker that did this to my

girlfriend, I got something real special for that fucking scumbag.

Hey, Joey, what's in this stuff?

Oh, that's an old family secret passed down through the ages.

Six gallons of rum, five gallons of vodka, eight gallons of

brandy.

Well,

listen, guys.

If this stuff's really gonna work at W.R.'s party celebration, the people,

uh, they gotta like it.

They gotta drink it.

Now, this stuff doesn't look too appetizing to me.

Hey, fear not, Chili. Fear not.

All we need is a little sweetener.

All right, everyone, please be seated

something he'd like to tell you?

WR?

As owner and publisher.

Any minute now.

You know, WR doesn't look fucked up at all.

Are you sure he's had enough punch?

I don't know. I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every

one of you.

Starting with my beautiful daughter, Kimberly Ann Jackson.

I'm pleased as punch.

And I'd like to thank the girls of Omega Alpha Phi Gamma,

Delta Kappa Mu, and the upright men

of Phi Upsilon Delta.

A toast!

I must have poured that guy five or six cups of that stuff.

He shouldn't be walking right now.

I don't even want to mention the one fly in the ointment that happened while we

were doing this article.

Needless to say, it was taken care of.

And a small band.

Are you sure the turkey is immune to this stuff?

God, I hope not.

I don't know what we'd do if he is. What are we gonna... Shh.

Patience. Patience.

Decent people like yourselves from getting

the

publicity you so

richly deserve.

Conclusion, we say, um,

um, um, um,

uh,

Dean Butts.

Daddy, I'm not Dean Butts. I'm Kimberly.

Sure, sure.

What, Butts?

What's the matter, Butts?

You're supposed to make a speech.

Sure, sure.

A toast.

You know, this could become a habit, honey.

Relax. You're just watching.

It's News Month's tribute to American college youth.

Everyone off with their clothes.

Oh, W.R.

Got a couple of friends I'd like you to meet.

Come on in, boys.

if we get a shot of you and the nun, boss?

Smile.

Oh,

nice shot there.

Get

this

couple over here. Like that.

Come on. Come on, you little bitch.

Come on, you little doggy. Come on. Taste this cock and tell me who it

belongs to. Come here.

Smile.

Smile. Oh, good.

Here comes another doggy bone.

Hey.

That's it. Yeah.

Nice much.

Don't worry, darling.

I've got a little surprise for you.

Oh, Larry!

Surprise!