Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's! The best to you each morning!

From Kellogg's!

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

£ Riding around your way f

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by...

Dum-dum-dee-dee, dum-dum-do.

Dum-do-do-dum-dum...

Oh, Augie.

Dad!

Dear old dad!

Welcome home, dear father of mine!

Guess what ! got for your birthday, Sonny-boy.

Whatcha got? Whatcha got?

Huh, Dad? Whatcha got?

A toy fox for you to chase.

What? Again?

What do you mean, what again,

my son, my son?

Well, you probably haven't noticed it,

but I'm growin’ up.

And I'm so ashamed.

But what's to be so ashamed of?

A boy my age, chasin' a toy fox,

when I should be chasin' a really fox.

But, boy of mine, he-he, you know,

puppies don't chase real foxes.

My ears are tied.

! do not hear a word you say, dear old dad.

What am I gonna do with this stubborn...

-Can I, can I, can I, can I? -... kid.

Just one measly old fox, Dad.

I'll chomp him, I'll bite him.

-I'Il bite him and chop him. -All right, all right.

-And bite him. -l give up.

-And chomp him. -] surrender.

And bite him!

-Okay, go ahead. -And chomp him!

Go ahead, bite him, chomp him.

Go ahead and chase a fox.

But remember, ! want you home in time for dinner.

Oh, thank you, you kind, generous,

big Daddy.

Tally-ho, Daddy-o!

He might as well learn the hard way.

[sniffing]

All my instincts and my outstincts

tell me there's a really fox around here.

1 couldn't get a Chicken.

So I'm making some chicken feather soup.

This old feather pillow should tickle my palate.

Feather your soup. Or is it feather your brow?

That's a malaprop if 1 heard one.

I'll give this soup a sip.

[laughs]

The feathers tickle my stomach.

[laughs]

[continues laughing]

[sniffing]

Funniest soup l ever tasted.

It's a really fox.

I'll chomp him, I'll bite him.

l never thought starving could be such fun.

Oh, boy.

A really fox.

[growls]

Hmm, something is chomping on my tail.

And that could be the end of me.

And for some reason, I'm going bye-bye.

And for a swim in the lake.

We better have a look here.

What do you know?

A fair-to-middling size dog-type puppy.

Slightly brown.

Have you had enough, really fox?

Well, you... ! should chomp you some more.

There seems to be no gratitude in this latitude.

So, back you go.

Children should be seen and not heard.

Or is it heard and not seen?

-Oh, well. Yike! -[Augie growls]

Well, lookie who dropped in for a bite.

Drop in again sometime, and don't think

it hasn't been fun, because it hasn't.

[thud]

[speaks gibberish]

[Augie] Hey, you really old fox!

! will chomp you and bite you!

This kid's getting too forward.

So, I'll leave him behind.

[screeching]

I'll beach him in Miami.

That kid needs a good tanning, anyway.

-[Augie bites] -Yike!

Grr, grr.

Well, whaddaya know?

The return of the swallow.

Grr, grr.

This is for the birds, so I better fly.

Well, 1 got rid of that hungry hound.

-[Augie bites] -Ouch!

-[Augie growling] -That's what I think.

Look who's ridin' my caboose.

! just have to crack the whip on this pipsqueak.

And away I go.

And he's not goin’ to stir 'em,

l always say.

One good thing about this kid:

he's still got his baby teeth.

-[Augie bites] -Yowch!

Oh, no.

[growling]

This kid's gotta go.

So, I'm leavin’.

[panting]

That shoulda done it.

[growling]

But I guess it didn't.

The kid's still puttin’ the bite on me.

l guess I'll have to shake ya loose.

Won't let go, eh?

Okay, I'll twist you loose.

This boy don't know when he's beat,

so beat it, will ya, boy?

Play dead.

That's a good doggie.

Now, it's speed I need.

[Augie] Hey, really fox! Come back!

I'll never catch him before dinner.

Dinner? Did you say dinner?

1 said dinner.

Would you repeat that please?

Dinner?

Hey, you just said the magic word,

so you get to divide the dinner among me.

Or is it among I?

Come at it, take me home.

You caught me fair and square,

what more can ! ask?

[Augie growls]

That's quite a pup you got there, pop.

Pass me the pepper.

Or I'll assault you with these peas.

Yes, siree.

That's quite a pup.

This is the greatest birthday l ever had.

[ship horn blaring]

[narrator] Picturesque as the old riverboats may have been

as they churned their way through the muddy waters

of the Mississippi,

their passengers nevertheless

fell prey to the crooked gamblers

who plied their trade in its gilded salons.

What have you got, sir?

Gosh! I got four aces.

Too bad, sir,

because l, sir, have five aces, sir.

-There you are, sir. -Gosh! Beginner's luck!

[narrator] You were watching Bold Weevil,

gambler and river pirate, at work.

Hi!

He has a bold plan up his sleeve to rob the passengers

of the Memphis Queen, the very boat he's riding on...

Shh.

-...this very night. -Aw, you big snitch!

[narrator] This is no idle riverboat gambler you see here

with his faithful companion, Baba Looey,

but the famous Quick Draw McGraw,

river agent, posing as one.

But Queeks Draw,

how you know Bold Weevil has up his sleeve?

‘Cause Bold Weevil is not the only one

with something up his sleeve...

or up his leg...

or in his hat...

or any other place.

You're loaded, Queeks Draw. ! don't think you need me.

Are you forgetting, Baba Looey?

! do the thin’in' around here.

Anyone care to join me in a game of chance?

l cares to.

He said it, not me.

Name your stake, stranger.

Stakes? Well,

if it's all the same to you,

l will have a T-bone, medium raw.

T-bone? You're no gambler, sir.

Who are you, sir?

He's Queeks Draw McGraw, the river agent in disguise.

Pretty sneaky, don't you think?

Yep, that's I, all right.

Now, sir,

what bold plan

have you got up your sleeve,

Bold Weevil, sir?

Here, sir. Take a look, sir.

Yes, sir!

[gunshot]

Ouch, sir!

Two can play at that game, sir!

Take that!

[gunshot]

Don't you thin' we should quit

while you still got a head, Queeks Draw?

No, I don't thin’ so.

This will get him.

Take that, sir!

-[gunshot] -Yaoo!

That's what I like about Queeks Draw.

He's got a lot up here.

No brains, just an empty lot.

All right, Weevil. You asked for it.

Now take this!

[gunshot]

One thin' you gotta admit, Baba Looloo, I can take it.

Gentlemen, it's time for the hold-up.

I mustn't keep the passengers waiting.

What foolish thin' we do now, Queeks Draw?

Don't rush me. ! will think of something.

Queeks Draw, look!

Bold Weevil is sticking up the peoples in the lounge!

Relax, Baba Boy!

I'm gonna crash through the window, hero style.

Well... surprising!

[Quick Draw laughs]

-[thud] -[Quick Draw screams]

He's Queeks Draw. He's full of surprises.

And I'm still gonna surprise him.

Kindly oblige me, sirs,

by dropping your valuables in my hat.

And kindly oblige me by putting up your hands, Bold Weevil, sir.

And what if I don't, sir?

Then this, sir.

! mean, this.

Well, doggone, Mississippi Mud.

And your name's Mud, sir... river agent, sir.

[gunshot]

Don't you think Mud is a funny name, Queeks Draw?

No, I do not thin’ so.

You know... ! don't thin’ so either.

Thank you for the loot, sirs.

This time, ! shall flatten him

with this barrel full of flatirons.

[rumbling]

And now for New Orleans,

the Mardi Gras, and some jolly fun!

1 thin' he look awful thin to me.

Not only am I fast with a double barrel,

but pretty good with a single barrel.

And here comes the barrel.

Let's barrel out of here!

-I'm with you, sir. -Me too, I thin’.

Hey, Queeks Draw, what's in this New Orleans?

The Mardi Gras and some jolly fun. What else?

Right, Bold Weevil, sir?

You are right, river agent, sir.

I thin’ I'm gonna like this jolly fun, I thin’.

Jumpin’ bail jumpers, Blab!

Guess who's back in town to plague us?

The man from the finance company?

No, worse!

Only the greatest shoplifter of them all!

[Snooper reading]

[telephone ringing]

Super Snooper Detective Agency.

When others fail, we fill the jail.

Snoop speaking.

Super Snooper, top sandwich in the business.

It's a pleasure to watch him work.

Watch.

Oh, yes, Mr. Grumble, I'll be right over.

Yow!

He-he-he-he! What did I tell ya?

Someday, ! wanna be just like him.

Quick Change Quentin is out all right, Blab.

Grumble saw a big customer change into a baby.

A baby?

Yeah, only one thing wrong.

The baby was smoking a cigar.

Gosh! A cigar?

[Snooper] This must be the place!

[Blabber] He-he-he-he!

It's a pleasure working with you, Snoop!

What a sense of humor!

Hold it, Blab!

Do you see what I see?

Curses! It's Snooper!

Isn't he a little too young

to be smoking cigars, Snoop?

They spotted me, so I better change outta this outfit,

and change into the floor walker.

[chuckles]

Halt, in the name of the private eye chowder

and marching society!

I still think that baby was too young to smoke.

And you're too old to be that dumb!

Come on!

Oh, floor walker, where can I find the payroll?

The fifth floor.

Uh, thank you.

My, what a handsome looking chap.

Quick Change Quentin,

your shoplifting days are over!

-Take that! And that! -[bang]

And this!

Now off with the phony disguise!

Whoops!

You're the real floor walker, aren't you?

Well, I'm certainly not Yogi Bear!

Then that must be Quick Change Quentin over there!

All l can say is, heaven help Mr. Quentin.

Watch me make shoplifting history in the piano department.

My, what a grand baby grand.

A slight twist of the wrist,

and it's safely tucked under my shawl.

Egads!

He did it!

l saw you palm that piano, Quentin!

Stop in the name of private eye institute's annual barbeque!

Oh, no!

Did you see a sweet old lady with a baby grand piano

under her shawl?

Keep away from me, keep away!

It's only fair to warn you that I've had three judo lessons!

Hey, Snoop!

Mr. Grumble said to forget

about Quick Change Quentin,

the police just took him away.

What?

Hey, Snoop,

maybe they allow babies to smoke cigars

in this state.

Quick Change Quentin!

Curses!

Say, Snoop, who was that handsome little devil?

That was the baby who smokes cigars,

and the old lady who shoplifted a piano!

He-he-he-he!

That Snoop, he's always ad libbing.

I'll tell you what we'll do, Blab.

You sneak around the back, and I'll sneak around the front,

and we'll surround them!

Gosh, Snoop!

Even Sherlock Holmes was an amateur compared to you.

l always enjoy this kid's thinking.

I've searched every department, and I can't even find... Blab!

And ! want a finger print set, a private eye badge,

and a pair of handcuffs!

Ho ho ho ho!

And you shall have them all, if you do Santa a little favor.

Hey, Snoop!

Santa promised me a whole bag

full of surprises

if you'll drop the case against Quick Change Quentin.

Whoever heard of Santa Claus during a July clearance?

That was Quick Change Quentin!

The kid with the cigar, the floor walker,

the piano-pinching old lady, and now Santa clause.

What have you got to say for yourself?

1 goofed.

That stoop Snoop has got to go.

Going down, watch your step, sir.

[Snooper] Yow!

[crash]

He's a smart one, Snoop!

What's your next move?

Two can play at this Quick Change game, Blabber.

Observe.

I'm observing, Snoop!

A few dab strokes, and "viola," as the French say,

l change an elevator door into a safe.

Sheer genius, Chief, but how you gonna find Quick Change Quentin?

Elementary, my dear Blabson, watch.

Here's the money.

Hand it over, Snoop.

And here's the fly.

If you want it,

follow me into the safe.

Give me that dough!

Yaaaaah!

[crash]

The next change you make, Quentin,

will be into prison stripes.

March!

Take him away.

Well, that's the last we'll see of Quick Change Quentin,

eh, Snoop?

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

[Blabber] Hey, Snoop!

Wait, wait!

What's gonna happen to me?

At this point, Blab,

how do I know it is you?

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

[howls]

[announcer] Kellogg's! Your best choice in cereals!

...has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw McGraw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you alright?

S'awright!