Original subtitles

I could definitely everything is going phenomenally.

My GPA is up, but professors are happy.

My internship is a formality.

The next steps are clear.

It's just a series of inputs and outputs.

Are you going to ask me anything doctor?

Or should I just continue on with my self assessment?

I'm just listening.

See, you're very good at describing the machine.

But I have yet to hear you describe how the machine feels.

I told you it doesn't feel that's the problem.

No feeling at all.

No more.

No joy for your 4.0 GPA.

No anxiety about the future.

No desire.

My desires are logical preferences.

I prefer to succeed.

I prefer a clean and orderly environment.

I don't know what that has to do with anything.

It has everything to do with why you're here.

You're not here for a tune-ups, you know.

You hear it because you're worried that the machine might be broken.

I'm here for a professional opinion.

And you're going to get one.

See, you present a class case of the lexmethia with dissociative traits in simple terms.

You have a profound difficulty identifying describing your own emotions.

You exist in a constant state of detachment.

Constantly living your life from the outside as opposed to actually participating in it.

Now, we can work on this.

It's going to take some time.

A lot of time.

Years probably.

Years?

I don't have years to work on that.

I came here for solutions.

Not a fucking life sentence.

You didn't cry.

Your parents funeral did you.

You just stood in the back.

Feeling nothing but quiet.

Clinical curiosity is to why everyone else was so emotional.

Now, that night, you went home.

And you studied the tors of your law class,

because that was the next logical step in your daily schedule.

That's not the behavior of a machine, you know.

The machine follows program.

You, you're hiding from something.

You're afraid of what might happen if that wall ever collapses.

That's why you're really here.

You're right about everything.

The night I left here, I went to try to feel something.

I watched a sad movie.

I listened to music that people said made them cry.

I even went to a bar and kissed a stranger and felt nothing.

It was like kissing a mannequin.

Nothing was there.

The only one who's seen it is you.

I see what you show me.

The rest is just a good detective work.

I can't live like this.

I can't keep going on a ghost of myself.

And you said it would take years.

I don't have years.

I will go insane.

Please.

Is there a new medication, a new chalk treatment, anything?

There is.

Theoretical framework.

And experimental protocol.

It's not standard.

It's not studied.

It's not approved.

It bypasses the conscious mind entirely.

But I have to be honest with you.

It's risky.

We'll be navigating uncharted territory.

And the risk for a significant trauma is pretty significant.

I don't care about the risk at all.

I'm already traumatized by my own emptiness.

Please.

I'm begging you.

It requires a level of trust and surrender that most people are incapable of.

You have to completely surrender over to me.

Complete autonomy over the process.

And you have to continue through it.

And that's how difficult it is.

Are you okay with this?

There's no backing out.

I'll do it.

Whatever it takes.

If you're serious, this is an agreement.

It expresses consent to all of the protocol and seeds all authority over to me.

It's legally protects me and binds you.

But I must advise you again.

This is the point of the return.

Hey, where do I sign?

Good.

So I'll see you tomorrow.

Same time.

I will be given treatment.

I'll see you tomorrow.

All right.

We got the camera set.

Are you ready to begin?

Yes.

We need to start disrupting.

What?

It's part of the therapy.

I don't know about that.

You agree to it.

It's part of the contract.

Remember, you're giving full authority to me.

The matter how uncomfortable it is.

You do as I say.

Okay.

There it is.

Continue.

All of it?

All of it.

Remember, we're working on your emotional feelings right now.

There it is.

How do you feel?

The same.

The same.

Meaning nothing.

Nothing.

Maybe a little awkward.

Being naked.

That's part of the very first steps of the therapy.

This is part of the therapy.

We're going to be changing this.

In order to get to your emotional feelings,

I need to move through the physical.

What do you mean by physical?

I don't know if that's something I can do.

It's not a matter of you knowing whether or not you can do it.

It's the fact that you're going to do it.

I remember.

This is all being documented.

There are several stages of feeling.

Part of it.

This pain.

Keep your hand by your side.

Any sensations right now?

Just from my body.

Good.

Means we're starting to feel something.

You want me to feel pain?

To start.

Stay right there.

Put your hands behind your back.

You're straightening me.

It's through the next part of the process.

Will you let me out?

If we're making process,

stay put.

Moving on to the next sensation.

You've seen this before.

Yes.

But you don't use them because you don't feel anything correct.

Correct.

We are going to change that today.

There we go.

Starting to feel something, right?

Is that what this is?

Starting to wonder what you're doing.

So it's a curiosity, not an actual feeling.

Is this treatment really necessary?

Of course it is.

You signed off on it.

You can expect this.

It's not a matter of what you expected to expect.

It's a matter of what's happening and you're getting feeling of sensation from.

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I'm...

I mean...

I mean...

Physical sensation.

But we need to...

eliminate one of the other senses.

It's...

Open your mouth.

Once we eliminate several of the senses, it heightens...

Everything else.

I think we're starting to make some progress here.

I'm trying to move on to the next procedure.

I'm trying to move on to the next procedure.

Now that we're starting to feel a little bit more physical emotion.

Get those sensations running through your body.

Yeah.

I think we're ready.

We're gonna lose this.

This is gonna come in handy in a second.

Drop your knees.

You're not calculating.

I think just reacting and feeling.

We're up in this therapy session to the next level.

Trust me.

This entire theory is based on trust.

I'm...

Got relax.

It's all about reaction, emotion, and feeling.

There's no thinking about this.

Do you welcomes natural?

Yeah.

We're gonna break down those walls sooner or later.

You feel like something.

Anything?

It's over.

Get in there.

It's over.

It's over.

I'm in control and you're doing everything that I tell you to do and follow me.

I don't think about it.

Just do it.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I'm not.

I've gotta bring you some emotion in you.

Wasn't a death of your mother.

Wasn't a funeral.

Gotta get out somehow.

I don't believe that.

What are you doing?

You're not the question.

You're too real.

Don't cover that.

Bein' forward.

Just like that.

Remember when we were talking about pain?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Keep your arms out, stretch, just like that.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I feel something.

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

Do you enjoy it?

Yes.

It feels good.

Give me the sign.

You're doing good so far.

It's a surprise.

You know I get this much feeling out of you, so we're the...

I need you all to feel like that.

You're playing with my body.

That's my smile.

Oh, my gosh, it feels insane.

Oh, oh, yes.

Yes.

Oh, oh.

Oh, it's so warm and you're going, yes.

Oh.

I've never heard of something like that.

I've never heard of something like that.

I've never heard of something like that.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my gosh.

I feel you're stretching my nose a little bit more.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

That's right, keep playing with yourself.

Start experiencing a little bit more.

Uh...

You gotta explore yourself.

Um...

Hey...

Hey...

Oh...

Oh...

Ooh...

Uh...

Oh...

Fuck...

Uh...

I'll be able to see his bones feel...

Oh...

You're giving it to me really good.

Oh my god.

Oh my god, this is so good.

Oh my god, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, what did I do?

What did I do?

You don't have permission.

You have to control your emotions.

Oh my god.

Let it happen when I let you.

Oh my god, yes.

Oh shit.

Oh my god, please grab me.

Oh my god, yes.

Oh my god, yes.

Oh my god, yes.

Oh my god, yes.

Oh my god, this is so good.

I was around hitting my hips on you.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Oh, oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, you're like...

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, my god, it feels amazing.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Woo!

I couldn't feel it and your body, you want more.

You want more?

Please, please.

Please, please, please.

I wanted to feel it, I was just grateful for it.

Oh, my god.

Oh, baby, my body, feelin' me as music and music.

You look has natural.

Mmm.

Um, like...

Yes!

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Please...

I mean, when we're...

Please let me...

Please...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Oh...

Fuck...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

I want to see those perfect tits in my...

Get up there.

Oh my god...

Uh...

Uh...

Fuck...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

It's...

It's...

It's...

Uh...

Uh...

Fuck, yes, it's amazing.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Oh my god...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Yes...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

That's her.

Don't hold back.

Yes.

Fuck me.

Yes.

Fuck.

Oh my god...

Let's take your hands and walk like that.

Then I'm feeling your strength for me.

Fuck.

Yes.

Uh...

Oh my god...

I can't do this fucking thing.

Oh my god...

Oh my god...

Uh...

Oh...

Fuck you.

Oh...

Oh my god...

Oh my god...

Oh...

Oh, keep riding me.

Just like that.

Just like that.

Just like that.

Fuck you.

Oh...

Oh...

Fuck...

Oh...

Yes, that drives me crazy.

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

How are you feeling right now?

Yeah...

I can do everything.

It doesn't matter.

Great session.

I need to continue this therapy.

I have another client coming in in a couple minutes.

I need to get the fuck out.

Okay.