Original subtitles

Zoe Lund.

Yeah, sure, let's just toss that name around.

Star of Miss 45.

Writer, bad lieutenant.

Author, model, poet.

She saw the world for what it was, diseased and desperate.

She was in your fucking indie, darling. She made art that bled and died for it

at 37.

I tell myself it's admiration.

that I love Zoe's mind, her politics, the way that she would talk about heroin

like it was her religion.

But let's be real.

Those eyes, that bone structure, I let her ruin

me. Hell, I've already let the idea of her ruin me.

Don't talk about Zoe.

Like you know her, know something.

You either worship her or you're just like the others.

You saw a pretty face.

I saw a prophet.

Please tell me your name, age, and relationship to Zoe.

Well, my name is Robert Lund, and my age is 79.

And my relationship to Zoe, well, that has changed over the years.

We met at a New Year's Day party and dated for a while. She moved in two

months later, and we were married for 10 years.

And then she died, so I guess I'm officially a widower.

What happened to your head?

What happened to my head?

Well, it happened 29 years ago now. In 96, I got mugged

as I was walking into the courtyard of the apartment building where we lived.

There was a guy standing there with a long black leather coat, his back to me.

As I walked up behind him, he spun around and hit me real hard, and he took

the money out of my pocket.

Who knew I was coming home?

with my pay, but of course, in retrospect, Zoe, obviously, her debts

got out of hand, and she had told someone, all right, look, you can take

it all when it comes to, you know, I'm sure she didn't anticipate me getting

wounded, but, um... How did you meet Zoe?

Well, how did I meet her? Let's see.

Um, there was a man named Willoughby Sharp.

We got to this bar, and Zoe was at the bar with her extra loan.

cigarettes and extra long fingers.

And there were several men around, just, you know, quick draw, just waiting that

her cigarette went out.

They'd be there with the lighter, you know.

So when I met her, yeah, I had no idea of this, of the heroine Zoe, of the Miss

45 Zoe.

She was just this wonderful, charming, beautiful girl who seemed to click.

When did you guys first have sex?

First time I brought her home, we fooled around.

But I didn't go all the way.

I wasn't in the mood. I just somehow... It just didn't... It wasn't a thing.

We had some sensual experience, but we didn't.

The second time she came home, we did.

And then she was, oh.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, I thought you were injured in the war. I thought you

had a war injury or something. This girl... Because I don't fuck you on the

first night, you think I'm damaged? I mean, come on.

Whatever.

How did she convince you to do heroin?

Oh, start using heroin.

Well, Zoe had been addicted back in the days of Miss 45, I think is when she

started doing it. She had these long, graceful fingers.

Oh, you have to learn to listen to its song to get the full benefit of heroin.

It's like a marriage.

It takes a certain commitment.

Did you guys ever have sex on heroin?

Ah, let's get into heroin sex.

And when you're doing heroin every day all day for years,

your libido goes to zero.

It goes flatline.

You don't stop wanting sex. That's just enough. You don't need it because you

don't need anything except dope. But yeah, it was kind of a sexless life for

the final years of it.

Can you tell me about the rats?

The rats.

Well, Zoe loved little furry animals.

And we got a rat, Ivory.

And she loved Ivory.

But then it was not so good that Ivory should be alone, so we got Ben.

And Ivory and Ben, they do what animals do, only rats do it much faster than

cats. Yeah, you got to be a lot of rats.

So Ivory was her precious.

I mean, even when we had hundreds of rats, Ivory was on her shoulder.

Ivory had cancer of some sort.

We brought her to the vet.

$70.

Heroin addicts to spend seven bags on the rat. You know we love this rat.

Every time Zoe would sit at the table and open the bag and scrape the stuff

into her spoon, and she'd put the bag down, and Ivory would come and lick the

bag.

Which we rationalized that, yes, this is a terminal cancer patient. She can have

a little bit of opiates, you know.

So Zoe's prancing around the house. Oh, it's time. I'm gonna put Ivory to bed. I

said, okay. And I go to kiss her goodnight. And she takes a bite out of

my lip.

Slice here. There's a little scar there.

And I distinctly recall being in that bedroom. And I held up a look at her.

And I look in those little pink eyes. I said, why?

Why did you make this necessary?

Why? You know we love you. Why'd you have to do this? You know, blah, blah,

blah. And I went out.

What?

Threw her on the floor.

And she looks up at me.

I heard Curly's voice.

Yeah, what'd you do that for? I mean, it's as though she would look at me like

that, you know.

I realized I only heard her, so I went, boom. I did it.

What kind of things do

you have of Zoe's?

I actually found one of the spoons we used.

it still had the cotton stuck in it another thing you know going through

boxes you never know what you're going to find things remembered like a jewelry

box and i open it and there's a clump of her pubic hair

the virgin mary was when they were shooting bad lieutenant

abel sent her out to a prop store get a virgin mary So she found the Virgin Mary

out of the prop store They used that and then when the shoot was over when they

were finished with bad lieutenant Abel said I don't know you could have it if

you want So she took it home

Compared to other women I've known, she was relatively stable. I

mean,

I realize I'm talking to a woman, but I mean... Robert?

Robert?

Well, I'm coming home.

Robert?