Original subtitles

[coughing]

[man] You gonna eat that?

Authentic souvenirs.

Hollywood Boulevard souvenirs.

[harmonica playing]

Ahh.

- [growls] - How are you doing, buddy?

[barking]

Oh, yeah!

Oh, you're so pretty!

Hey, baby.

- See anything, Jerry? - [dog growls]

Some stakeout.

Looks dead to me.

Thank you, sir, God bless you. Get that!

- [growls] - God bless you, sir. Thank you.

Waitin' on Jesus!

Well, our shift is through.

Time to pack it in, my friend.

[whimpering]

It's not going to be that bad.

It's just starting a new chapter in our life, that's all.

Think about it.

Think of all the free time we're going to have to do all the things we want.

By the way, keep an eye on that tambourine.

We're gonna need the cash.

Well, how about that.

Well, I guess we get to go out in a blaze of glory.

- Let's go! - [barking]

[honks]

- Get out of the way! - Watch out, buddy!

Drop, Jerry. We're coming in through the back.

- Go through the front. - We got you, Dooley. We're in the front.

Glasses.

Where's my back up? Where's my back up? I'm coming in!

I'm a cop, I'm a cop, I'm a cop.

Freeze, assholes!

[all] Surprise!

[laughing, clapping]

Dooley! Dooley!

You think we'd let you go without a party?

- Get in here! - Oh, I can't--

- Congratulations, old man! - Ohhh!

- It's all downhill from here. - You guys!

Officer needs a beer, officer needs a beer.

- Give him four beers! - [Dooley] Officer needs a lot of beers.

Happy retirement party, baby!

Come here. Give me kisses!

Wow, this is really...

a surprise!

[cheers]

[harmonica playing]

- Thank you, it's very nice. - [clapping]

I will put this in my collection.

- What's this? - I don't know. It's a beautiful box.

This is from... the auto pool.

Wow! Look at that.

- How about this! - We put batteries in it,

so you wouldn't have to go a day without a squad car.

That is really cool. You wanna try it?

- He's already happy about it. - Fire that thing up.

-Yeah, let's see it. -Jerry Lee, look at this.

- [siren whistling] - Rrrr! Rrrr!

Look out, it's a police car. Look out, Jerry.

Come on, you can get it. Look out, Jerry Lee!

- Don't hurt it, Don't hurt it! - Whoa!

Look out, look out! Your feet, your feet!

You got it! Oh, don't break it!

- Come on! - [cheering, clapping]

Alright, boy. Oh, man, you broke it.

- [barks] - Come here, boy!

What a good boy. Good boy.

- How about that. - This is the last one.

It's from the girls in the dispatch.

- Well, thank you. - [man] Dispatch!

It's for Jerry Lee's collar.

- Man #1: Beautiful. - Man #2: Very nice.

[Dooley] That's really nice. Oh, look at that.

It's a picture of you and a picture of me.

[barks]

You know, I love those guys.

I do, but I am so glad this job is over.

I am done being a cop.

I am done with the shoot-outs.

I am done with the fist-fights.

Let me tell you something, Jerry Lee,

the next time I get punched, bit, kicked or yelled at,

it's gonna be because--

because I have a girlfriend!

[growls]

Here.

Happy retirement, partner.

That a boy. That a boy, Jerry Lee.

[belches]

My sentiments, exactly.

- [belches] - Ohh!

- That's bad breath. - Come on, Dooley.

Whoa! Come on.

- Closing time. - I love you, Petey, I really do.

You're the best friend a man could have, except for a dog.

I love you, too, but we got to go home.

- I know you're probably right, - [barks]

but just one more. Jerry Lee wants one more!

One more, just the detectives!

You got a big day tomorrow. It's your first day off.

I know and I'm going to pick up my retirement check,

my pension check, then what I'm going to do

is I'm going to have my car detailed

and then Jerry Lee and I-- Jerry Lee...

and I are going to hit the road, Jack!

- [Pete] A vacation, that's nice! - Why not?!

I've already got it mapped out!

We're going to go coast to coast on Route 66!

[Pete] You're not driving anywhere until you sleep it off.

[detective] It goes to Chicago, I think.

[Dooley] That's not a coast? Lake Michigan is a coast!

- Ahh! - [barks]

What the hell was that?

[sighs]

Alright, buddy, we slept that off.

I feel a little hungover,

but I know I'm going to get through that, too.

I'm going to get through this retirement. You and I are out.

We're free! We're out!

[Jerry Lee grunts]

Out...

of...

gas.

We're out of gas!

Out of gas! I can't believe it!

I shouldn't have canceled that AAA card.

I am so cheap!

Alright, we're retired,

we're free, we're just out of gas.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call a cab.

Yes, retired people ride in cabs all the time!

Where are we?

That's the 10.

Ooh, give me that cell phone.

Retired people have cell phones!

- We'll call a cab! - [growls]

Yes, can you give me the number of the Yellow Cab company?

- [barks] - Hey!

Jerry Lee?

- [barks] - What's up?

Jerry Lee?

- What's going on? - [barks]

What do you got?

Oh, no. Man.

Let me see.

Just our luck.

- Okay, buddy, where are they? - [dialing]

Yeah, emergency.

Take it easy. What do you got?

Alright, buddy. These guys are serious.

Easy.

Hold up.

[electronic beeping]

[panting]

Attaboy.

- [sneezes] - Don't! Don't sneeze!

- [sneezes] - Jesus!

- Jerry! - [barks]

Come on!

[barking]

Stop! Police!

- Hold it! - [gunshots]

Jerry Lee!

Hey, wait for me!

Get 'em!

[murmuring]

Get this out of here.

[barking]

Oh, shit!

Oh, easy boy.

[engine humming]

Ow!

[barking]

Ahh!

[growling]

[screams]

- That's mine, dog. - Jerry Lee, down!

Ahh!

[barking]

Ahh!

Jerry Lee!

Jerry Lee!

Jerry Lee, come here.

Come here. Are you alright?

Stay where you are! Hands in the air!

Hands in the air! Now drop your weapon!

- I'm a cop! - Control that dog!

- Control that dog! - Drop the weapon!

Heel, Jerry.

Heel.

Federal agents. You're under arrest.

- For what?! - It's alright. Now, calm down.

That's the one!

You guys make it a practice to arrest officers while you're doing backup?

That's mighty fine police work.

You're pretty cocky for a cop who got busted.

Busted? Are you suggesting I'm involved in this thing?

- You got a different point of view? - Let's hear it.

I was on my way home. I observed a 211 in progress.

- Observed? - Jerry Lee heard something.

- The dog heard something? - The dog heard something.

We approached the premises, found a dead guard and I called it in.

I went into the premises, found another dead guard,

Jerry Lee tracked the perps, we observed them during their heist,

they heard us, they fled. I followed in pursuit,

the one guy killed the other guy and then took off

while you guys and your three-ring circus were arresting me.

The perp who escaped-- what'd he look like?

Six foot, 185 pounds. Armed. Skilled shooter.

Agile. I'd say he had a military background.

Distinguishing features?

Couldn't tell. He had gloves and a mask on, like the dead guy.

- Any idea what he was after? - I'm sorry, guys.

I was going to make him some tea and biscuits and have a chat,

but they were too busy trying to kill me!

If you want to find out what they stole, ask the lab!

Better yet, why don't you find the guy you lost, and quit sweating my ass?

- I was just doing my job! - You have no job.

- As of midnight, you were retired. - That makes you a civilian.

A civilian who's now mixed up in a federal investigation.

[growling]

Calm down, calm down.

You don't worry about a thing, now.

They got nothing on us!

What could they possibly do?

What?! They froze my pension?!

Tough luck, Dooley. It's department policy.

You'll get your pension when the Department of Justice closes its case.

Those clowns couldn't close their own zipper.

I'll be dead before I see that money!

It's out of my hands, Dooley. It's a federal issue now.

Those guys have no idea who this guy is, how to fi--

the only way I'm going to get my pension back is if I find the guy myself.

Oh, no. No way. Uh-uh.

You are retired now.

You're not a cop anymore. Is that clear?

- Yes, sir. - Then go home.

Practice your whittling. Take a cooking class or something.

But you stay out of this!

No problem, sir. Sir.

Sure, no problem.

We're really sorry, Dooley.

If there's anything we can do for you, just say the word.

Actually, can you spot me $100?

Wife's birthday. I can't do it.

Hey, Petey, old pal.

Can you spot me a couple hundred bucks,

just to tide me over until I get my check?

- I'm still paying off the boat. - Oh, sure. I understand.

Hey, anybody-- listen up!

Listen, you know...

I'm kind of embarrassed. As humiliating as this sounds,

I'm kind of in a financial jam

and I was wondering...

if anybody could lend-- you know, one of your own--

a couple hundred bucks to see me through this difficult...

transition to retirement.

It would be a great opportunity

for you now to say so.

Anybody?

You still got your P.I. license, don't you?

- Yeah. - So use that.

Terrific. What am I going to live on in the meantime?

How are you doing, fella?

- [whimpers] - What about breeding Jerry Lee?

- Pimp Jerry Lee? - Yeah.

I can't do that. He's a rock-solid champion police dog.

People are looking for decorated sires

like Jerry Lee all the time.

I hear you can get $1500 a pop.

$1500 bucks a pop?

Hello? Hi! Dog owners?

Dog owners? Hi!

Any of you looking to breed?

Any for puppies? Cute little puppies?

You know, the cute, little furry things?

I got a champion dog right here.

If you are, here's the dad, right here.

He is a stud!

And he's hot to breed.

Hey there, handsome. Looking to stud?

I'm sorry. I think you got the wrong idea.

I was just talking to your dog.

Oh, Jerry!

- I'm sorry. - Maurice Charles...

- Oh. - ...professional breeder.

This is Champion. He thinks he's a big dog.

Breeder, that's great. I'm Thomas Dooley.

- This is my dog, Jerry Lee. - [barks]

Please, Mr. Tough Guy!

Well, he's a big one.

This animal has remarkable structure

- and the loveliest markings. - Thank you very much.

- Does he have his papers? - Papers?

American Kennel Club, Kore Klass rating, Schutzen titles?

Yeah, I got papers. I got a lot of papers.

This is a champion police dog. A-one decorated dog.

- You don't say. - Stud! He's a stud!

I think you should come around my place. I don't know, say around 3:00?

- 3:00? - Yeah, I've got clients I think you should meet.

- That would be great. - Let's go poop.

Thank you, Maurice.

Did you hear that?

I don't care what you think. This is non-negotiable.

Did you bring the chips?

They're at home in my safe.

Oh, yeah? All of them?

Including the alpha?

You surprise me, Frankie.

When did you start taking interest in computers?

About the minute I heard you were having a problem

at the lab, Mr. Thyer.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's being handled.

Good, because my client doesn't like risk.

You got until the end of the week.

After that, no deal.

Tell your client he'll get his precious microchips,

but the price just doubled for his lack of faith.

[Maurice] Mr. Dooley?

- Mr. Dooley? - Yes.

Yes.

Maurice, how are you?

- Hi! - What a lovely home.

- Thank you. - Probably set you back a few bucks.

Detective Dooley, I'd like you to meet

Jack and Jackie von Jarvis,

- and their bitch, Jacqueline. - How do you do?

- Jack: Greetings. - Hello, Jacqueline.

Aren't you a pretty dog?

Yes.

Well, it's so nice...

to meet you.

How old is Jacqueline?

Get your nose out of my ass! What's your problem?

- Did you bring his papers? - Yes.

- Good. - They're not all--

I got some coffee stains on them,

but you can see that he's a nicely bred dog.

There you go. This is his papers.

Jerry Lee! Excuse me.

- Jerry Lee! - Jackie: Absolutely not!

We cannot possibly breed our Jacqueline with this unruly mate.

We demand nothing less than perfection! Isn't that right, girl?

Isn't that right? No, we don't like the bad dogs.

No, we don't like the bad attitude!

No, we don't like bad training!

We don't like the dirty dogs, do we?

[speaking German]

[slaps]

Good girl. Good girl.

♪ Nothing from nothing leaves nothing ♪

- ♪ You got to have something... ♪ - No.

Please. Ahhhhh!

♪ Nothing from nothing leaves nothing ♪

- Oooh. - ♪ You got to have something ♪

- No. - ♪ If you want to be with me. ♪

No, thank you.

- [barks] - No, I don't think he--

- he doesn't like her. - One more.

Please, I think you're going to love her.

Jesus.

Hi, I'm sorry I'm late. Sit, Molly.

Good girl.

Detective Thomas Dooley, Jerry Lee,

Catherine Coleman...

and Molly.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Catherine? - Yeah.

Why would you and Molly want to have puppies?

My sisters each have kids and I wanted to give each one of them a puppy.

German shepherds are so protective.

So I was hoping we could work something out.

Well, I, uh...

I don't see why not.

- [growls] - Where do we sign?

[barks]

Okay, bud, we're home.

Come on.

Come on! Come on, let's go!

What's with you, riding in the backseat?

You've been weird all day.

You alright?

Come on, let's go!

- [groans] - You want to stay here tonight?

Fine. Stay there.

I'm going in. I'm going to get something to eat.

Some pizza, some miso soup.

You stay there tonight.

Bye!

Come on!

Leash?

Good boy!

You know, I got you for free.

I can go to the pound and get another one for free.

With this attitude like this, I just might do that.

- [toy squeaking] - [Dooley] Ahhh!

Shark attack! Shark attack!

You're hurting me, I'm a big shark!

You've got bad, bad gums.

Pizza in there, or something. That's it.

Yeah, nice and sharp.

- Hi. - Hi.

- This is for you. - Thanks.

Come on in.

[man] Using the dog as cover.

Clever.

Very clever.

Come on, Jerry. Come on.

- Have a seat, please. - Thanks.

- Sit Molly. - Sit.

- Good. - Good girl.

Molly, this is Jerry Lee.

- [Molly barks] - [Jerry Lee growls]

- Is there something wrong? - No, nothing.

I'll just be a second.

Jerry Lee, what's the matter with you?

[groans]

I know you're nervous, and you just met this dog,

but this is how you guys do it in your world.

You meet, you do it!

Excuse me, is there a problem here?

No, I just think he's a little nervous.

It's the first time he's ever done it.

What I think he needs is a little professional assistance.

- Why don't you let me help him? - [Jerry Lee groans]

Help? You mean, help?

- Help. Yes. - I'll talk to him!

Come here. Look at me!

You've got to do this for the team, man.

You've got to step up!

You've got to look at that girl, and make it happen!

Come on! We need the cash!

Do you understand? We need the money!

Believe me, you don't want the alternative.

- Do you want Maurice... - [grunts]

- ...huh? - [growls]

- [grunts] - Alright, then.

Just pretend!

Pretend it's...

[growling]

Don't fight me on this one. Come on!

- Are you sure about this? - Trust me.

She's just his type. Take a look.

Will you just take a look?

Pretty, huh? You like her?

She likes you.

[whimpers]

[grunts]

Half now and half when we know if it took,

- less my handling fee. - Thank you, very much.

Well, my work here is done.

- We'll be in touch. - Okay.

Stud. You're a stud!

Hi, Molly. I'm so sorry about the costume,

but I told you it would work, didn't I?

- Yeah. - You're going to give me one of the pups?

- You'll have the pick of the litter. - Really?

- Yep. - Alright.

Jeez, look at this. You drive a truck.

Yeah.

I know, it's just that you don't see many...

Women driving pickups.

- You just don't. - I do a lot of gardening,

some landscape architecture, that sort of thing.

- It comes in handy. - You know, I love plants.

And trees.

Sycamores.

Elm.

Willows.

Shrubs.

- Shrubs. - Shrubs.

Okay.

- Nice doing business with you. - Yeah.

- We'll see you again. - Bye.

[Dooley] Bye-bye.

Ha ha ha. Oh, yeah.

Look at this, buddy.

Look at all this money.

You know what I think we're going to do?

I think we're going to reinvest in ourselves.

We're going to go to the newspaper,

put an ad in for our P.I. business--

just until we get the pension check.

No, no, you can't spend money.

No, that's not yours. I'll get you some kibble out of it.

Look at that.

[growls]

I don't like that dog.

Why are you guys tailing me?

You're a suspect in a federal investigation.

- It's our job. - I gave you everything I know.

You already screwed up my pension.

You want to do me a favor?

Leave me alone for the rest of my life.

- Sorry, Dooley. - No can do.

Rules are rules.

[air hisses]

Hmm.

I can't believe you did that!

The dog bit the tire.

Hey, see ya!

Good boy, Jerry.

[agent] Look at this guy.

Don't wave back.

[slaps]

Morning, assholes!

That's it. That is it!

Oh. Oh, how terrible.

Suckers.

No! It's not worth the suit. Come on!

It's not worth the suit.

Here it is, here it is.

'K-9 Private Investigator,

at your service.

Need to collect a loan?

Worried about loved ones?'

What are you doing up there?

That's it. We're definitely going to the vet.

Now.

There's your problem. Right there.

Jerry Lee swallowed something he shouldn't have.

- He's constipated. - Very.

- What the hell is it? - Your guess is as good as mine.

Give it a couple days. It will pass.

When it does, give me a call. I'd like to know what it is.

In the meantime, you might want to buy some air freshener.

Air freshener?

[flatulence]

Stop that!

[groans]

[flatulence]

What the hell did you eat?

What did you swallow?

- For crying out loud! - [doorbell rings]

Probably those assholes out there.

Jesus. Whew!

No, you can't use my can...

I help you?

I'm sorry. Did I come at a bad time?

No, no, no.

I was looking for Thomas Dooley,

K-9 Private Investigators.

Yes, that's me.

Come in, please.

Please, come in.

Thanks.

There you go. It's clean.

Okay. So...

You need a private investigator?

I don't really know where to begin.

Well, just start. Just go. Just start.

I think something horrible has happened to my fiancé.

- Oh. - He disappeared a week ago.

- A week ago? - Yeah.

Has this happened before?

No, never. We were in the middle of...

wedding plans...

at dinner...

and we had an argument...

over the invitations.

Well, he stormed out of the restaurant,

and I called him all night on his cell,

the whole next day.

Nobody answered.

And that was the last time I saw him.

[weeps]

- Here, please. - Oh.

- Thanks. - It's dirty.

I mean, it's clean enough.

So... lookit,

we're going to find him,

if he's out there.

Does you future husband have a name?

Kevin Wingate.

Wingate. Did he owe any money?

- Does he have any enemies? - Kevin? No.

It's impossible.

He's never been anything but kind and reliable, respons--

[flatulence]

[growls]

I'm going to need some more specific information.

Do you have any kind of social security numbers, or--

That's everything I could think of.

Social security numbers, phone numbers,

old credit card receipts, e-mail.

The photo is from our engagement party.

Please find him.

Money is no object.

I'm glad you brought that up because it's kind of expensive.

It's $100 an hour, plus expenses.

I can show receipts for all the exp--

Will $1000 be enough for a retainer?

It'll work.

[flatulence]

- Oh. - Oh.

I just-- step over him.

Jerry Lee.

Thank you, Detective.

I feel better already,

and I'm not usually like this.

As soon as I find something out, I'll be glad to give you a call.

How do I find you?

Here's my card.

Laura, don't you worry. You're in good hands and paws.

- [growls] - Is he alright?

He's a little jet-lagged. He gets a little weird.

But as soon as he gets some rest, he'll be on the job.

You can't find a better sleuth than Jerry Lee.

If you say so, Detective.

- Please, find Kevin. - Yes.

Why must you do that with a client?!

- What is with you? - [whimpers]

It's going to be a long night.

Kevin Wingate.

Princeton undergrad.

Harvard MBA.

Lettered both in golf and tennis.

[flatulence]

Investment banker.

Holdings in major companies.

[flatulence]

You stink.

Beans?

Oh, yeah. This will make it happen.

How about this? Cabbage?

That's good. That'll blow it out for you.

- Prunes? - [barks]

Just one?

Okay, just one.

Alright.

Dodger dog. Yeah, oh, yeah.

This looks like mineral oil, but it's not.

Mineral oil...

curry powder.

Hot.

Mmmm! Okay, bud. Ready?

Oh, yeah. That's good, man.

That's good.

That's gonna make it happen, brother.

Pizza!

Mmmmm! Look at that!

How does that look?

Do you like that? Huh?

Mmmm. Here we go.

Come on. Come on.

[groans]

I know this is killing you, Jer, but trust me.

You're going to thank me in the morning.

[whimpers]

You want some Alka-Seltzer?

[groans]

You want some Alka-Seltzer?

- [groans] - I'll get you some Alka-Seltzer.

Alright. Go poo-poo.

Come on, hurry up.

Poo-poo, caca.

Do you want some privacy? Is that it?

Go on.

I'm not watching.

- [dog barking in distance] - Go ahead.

I'll park my butt right here.

You work your butt.

- [grunts] - Come on, hurry up.

- [growls] - I'm freezing my nuts off here.

[groans]

[flatulence]

- [barks] - Oh!

[whimpers]

[flatulence]

- Oh! - [yelps]

- [barks] - Hey, hey. Sparky! Sparky!

Sparkster! Come back here!

Jerry Lee? Whew!

[barks]

See, what did I tell you?

Pizza!

- You feel better? - [barks]

[breathing]

Oh, man.

[groans] Oh, Jerry Lee.

What's this?

So, what's up, Sato? What is it?

I don't know who you've been hanging out with,

but you've got some smart friends.

Check this out, man.

This is a beta-test schematic of your microchip.

See these design patterns and those extra lines of code?

- Right there? - Yeah.

This technology has been in development for years,

- but no one's ever been able to crack it. - Until now.

You got it. This device-- light-years ahead

- of anything I've even read about. - Hmm.

It's worth something then, huh?

Well, you'd be stoked if you had the whole string.

This chip is what we call an '‘alpha.'

It's kind of the big kahuna of microchips.

It contains all the data that allows the slave chips to function properly.

Judging from these patterns, there's about three more chips that go along with it.

If you had all four, there's no telling what you could do with it.

Okay, pretend I got them.

What then?

You could put the technology on the market,

start a whole new generation of computers.

And the bottom falling out of a billion dollar industry.

Bingo.

Yeah.

Tom, you're not on the job anymore.

What's the matter with a couple guys just shooting the bull, huh?

Come on, Timmons, I need to get cleared on this FBI thing.

What do you want to know?

Thank you, Carlos.

I need some information on that lab heist--

at A.I. Microlabs.

For some reason, I keep thinking I've heard of that place before.

Isn't that the same place that had that fire last year?

- Fire? - Yeah.

Arson thought it might have been set.

Insurance companies didn't want to settle.

Everyone working the case had to sign a statement.

It turned out to be this big litigation deal.

- We all signed a statement. - Was there a suspect?

Dooley, what are you doing here?!

Captain Thomas, I just brought some doughnuts. Would you like some?

No, I don't want a doughnut.

This area is for detectives only.

- Come on, Captain, he's still one of us. - Shut up, Timmons!

And you-- you listen to me.

You are under investigation.

Not me. Not the department. You.

Which is why I don't want to see you or Jerry Lee

anywhere near this place until your name is cleared!

Is that understood?!

Yes, sir.

No? Okay. Come on, Jerry Lee.

It's obvious we're not welcome here anymore.

What the hell is it with you two?

Don't you understand basic police procedure?

The man is retired.

He is under investigation.

He is not allowed in this area.

Cuesta, when's the last time you walked a beat?

You keep this up, you're going to be renewing old acquaintances.

Stay low. Stay low.

Timmons, the next time you question my authority,

you're going to be taking a little vacation of your own.

- You hear me?! - Okay.

- Cuesta, wipe that smirk off your face. - You sit here.

[Thomas] ...and I'm sick of you eating lunches in the squad room.

It smells like onion...

When I come back, I want to see you guys doing some real work!

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hey, Jerry Lee!

What are you doing here?

Good boy.

Oh, yeah, thanks for the late warning.

Okay, come on. Let's go.

Easy, easy.

- Oh. - Dooley.

- Why are you still here? - I had to pee.

Why am I still talking to you?

Go pee somewhere else! Get out of here, Dooley!

Yes, sir.

What the dog sees in him, I'll never know.

[laughs]

[laughing]

- Hello. Hi. - Creep.

This is it here. Where's the stairs?

[grunts]

- [rave music thumping] - Alright.

♪ I traded in my face ♪

♪ For staying out so late ♪

♪ I wake up, I wake up ♪

♪ I got so ugly ♪

♪ It's no matter what I do ♪

♪ It's always alright by you ♪

♪ Face down in acne you tell me I'm looking good ♪

♪ Why do you love me? ♪

♪ I cannot stand it... ♪

[girl] Hey!

♪ I got so ugly ♪

♪ Why do you love me? ♪

Do you guys know Billy Cochran?

- Billy Cochran? - No.

♪ You're singing out of tune ♪

♪ You think it sounds great ♪

♪ I think that I look sh-- you knew me, I am ♪

♪ I think that I won't play ♪

♪ I look stupid... ♪

Excuse me, do you know where Billy Cochran is?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you. No, never mind.

Jerry Lee?

- Hey, baby! - Hi.

- Hi! [giggles] - Hi. Hi.

- Come on, Daddy! - I'm not your daddy. Thank you.

Jerry Lee?!

He should be here.

Do you know a Billy Cochran?

- Billy Cochran? - Who?

- Billy Cochran. - Yeah!

This is a '‘scary.' [screams]

Okay. Billy Cochran-- do you know where he is?

- Yeah! - Where? Where can I find him?

- Right over there! - There?

- [screams] - Whoa!

[laughing]

Whoa! Oh-oh-oh!

Yeah, yeah! I got to go!

- I'm going to be right back. - Okay.

If you see a dog, point him this way!

Jerry Lee?!

What? Jerry Lee?

What-- what--

what are you-- get in here with me!

What are you doing with that on your head?

Come on. Come here. Let me get this.

What is this? Are you a party animal now?

I can't take you anywhere.

Mr. Popular.

We've got work to do. Let's go.

Hey!

Are you Billy Cochran?

Cop! Shit!

[barking]

Okay. Go get' em!

Hey! Hey, slow down!

I'm not a cop!

Yeah? What do you want?

I just have some questions!

Some other time, perhaps.

I'm throwing a party!

Party? I can't party.

Here, boy. Be a good boy!

- You want the drugs? - [barking]

Here you go!

I'm losing my patience!

I'm losing my breath.

- This way! - This is your last warning.

Yeah, whatever, Grandpa!

- [gunshot] - Ahh!

Now, I'm pissed.

Ahh!

Hell of a shot.

- I got keys. - [barking]

Cigarettes.

Parking ticket.

- That's all I got. - [gunshot]

It's all I've got.

[barking]

Get away from me!

Ahhh!

Thirsty?

Yes.

Hey-y! What, are you crazy?

Okay, I'll talk, alright? I'll talk!

Whatever you want! Just be cool! Don't drop me!

Why were you a suspect in a A.I. Microlabs fire?

It was a setup. They knew I had a record.

Like 1000 other guys who like to play with matches!

Alright, okay! I was approached by a guy.

- What guy? - I don't know what kind of guy!

Okay, it was a good-looking guy. He wore fancy clothes.

Pretty guy! Good-looking guy!

- Frankie the Fence made the connect. - You know Frankie?

Who are you looking for, Frankie or the guy?

- The guy! The guy, wiseguy! - Oww! Hey!

- Okay! - The name!

I don't know. It was like a year ago.

- You buy that, Jerry Lee? - [barks]

You buy these? Bad fashion statement.

Ohhh! I lost my grip, I lost my grip!

- Oh my God. - The guy! Give me the name!

Okay, I think it was Shier. Oh, mean Thyer!

- I can't remember exactly. - First name?!

- Charles Thyer! Yeah, that's it! - You talk to him lately?

Never! He got somebody else to do the job.

- Are you lying? Are you sure? - I swear.

Alright.

- Ahh! - Did I hurt you? Huh?

- No. - Are you sure? You got a nipple ring?

You don't have a nipple ring, do you?

- No. - Oh, good.

Where are you going? You can't just leave me here.

- That's for calling me grandpa. - [barks]

[Dooley] Look at that. Search results.

No match. No Charles Thyer.

I don't get it.

I don't think Cochran would lie to us.

That kid was scared to death.

Half of it's mine! Half!

Which one do you want?

This one?

Here you go. That a boy.

I got to tell you...

Whoever we're looking for,

he's going to come for this.

So we better hide it in a good place.

How about the little locket the girls gave you?

Come on! It's hard to believe that a little thing like this

can crash a billion dollar industry, huh?

Okay, now it's safe. You don't want anybody near it.

No.

No.

No! Okay, I get the point!

Charles Thyer doesn't exist on this planet!

Alright, calm down. Cool it.

Cool it.

Retired people don't get crotchety like this.

We're just going to move onto something else.

Kevin Wingate file.

Okay. Can you accept that?

Stupid machine.

Yes!

Born: Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Technical school.

Employed by Pittsburgh Steel Company.

Vietnam?

[phone rings]

- What? - Wo[man] Hello, Detective?

Hi, it's Catherine Coleman.

I didn't wake you, did I?

No, no. Hi, Catherine. No, not at all.

I was just fighting with my computer.

- How's Molly? - Well, it's--

She's doing okay.

She seems a little different.

I have this feeling that it worked.

- Really? - Yeah.

It's just the little things,

but I'm sort of keyed into her moods.

I know that sounds kind of silly, but--

No, no. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Jerry Lee-- I can always tell when he's happy,

or he's sad, or he's pissed off at me.

Yeah, they're kind of like kids, aren't they?

Yeah, kind of.

You know, Jerry Lee's my partner,

but he's more.

He's ...special.

I thought you guys were going on a road trip.

Oh, yeah. We are.

I just have to wrap up this huge P.I. case

I'm running right now.

Wow. So you're...

an actual private eye like in the movies?

Well, I mean-- kind of.

- I love those old movies. - Yeah, me too.

Have you ever seen '‘The Thin Man'?

That's one of my all-time favorite private eye movies. And he had a dog.

And he's very thin.

Yeah, he was.

[laughs]

Listen... Catherine,

I was thinking you, me and the dogs could--

[phone beeps]

Could you hold on? I've got a call coming in.

- Sure. - Thank you.

- Yeah, Dooley. - Wo[man] Detective?

- It's Laura Fields. - Laura?

This is really embarrassing.

Okay. That's all done.

Thank you, very much, Detective.

You're welcome.

It's just a little leak,

but you want to have it fixed by tomorrow.

You don't want to drive around without a spare.

It's probably not the right time to ask,

but have you had any luck finding Kevin?

Let me ask you something.

How long did you know Kevin before you decided to get married?

About a year.

Did he ever talk to you about what he did?

Investments. Technology stocks.

Some real estate.

Well, Laura...

I don't want to sound like a pessimist,

but you're going to have to consider the possibility you won't find him.

You think something's happened to him?

No. Just the opposite.

I'm not sure he wants to be found.

Right.

He was looking for a way out.

Your fiancé wasn't who you thought he was.

Who's this?

According to the US government, this is Kevin Wingate.

- Is this some kind of joke? - It's not a joke.

The social security number you gave me belongs to this man.

And he died in 1995.

What?

That's not Kevin.

Kevin-- whoever he is-- why would he do this to me?

- I don't know. - Why would he lie to me?

I don't know. I have no idea.

Here, let me help you with that.

I'm fine. I'm okay. I've managed this long on my own, I'll be fine.

I'm sorry, and thank you for taking the case.

If you'll just send me the bill, I'll settle my account.

Look, you hired me to find your fiancé.

- You just said-- - He's not who you thought.

That doesn't mean the case is closed.

I guess when you set your mind to something,

you don't really give up, do you, Detective?

Nobody's perfect.

Come on.

Take care.

I'll call you.

Okay, Jerry Lee, this morning we've got some lessons.

Because, you know what?

There aren't many people in this world that I trust.

- [groans] - But you are one of the people.

So, since we don't belong

to the police department anymore,

we can't just call Dispatch for backup, right?

You and I are going to have a little training session

this morning after breakfast.

We're going to learn how to cover each other's back.

Okay, Jerry Lee-- here's the cell phone. Here are the pencils.

Cell phone's down on the ground.

I got the pencils. I'm going to throw them.

Stay right there. Stay right there.

When you hear a bang, you go get' em.

- Bang, bang! - [shots fire]

That's it! That's it!

That a boy! Bring it here, bring it here!

That a boy! No, the phone.

Pencil to the phone.

Like this. Like this.

Like this, see.

No, no. Don't knock the phone over.

- [gunshot] - Hey! Go get it.

That a boy. Any pencil.

Get the pencil. Bring it to the phone.

The phone, the phone.

Pencil into the phone.

You're getting it. The phone, the phone!

No, no, we're not playing. This is business.

Give it back. Give it to me.

You're not helping. You're not working with me here.

No, no, Jerry Lee. It's not a bone.

It's a phone.

Jerry! Jerry, give me that pencil!

That's it, that's it. See?

Oh! Here.

Now I have heard that certain individuals

have difficulty adjusting to life after retirement,

but this takes the cake.

Hi, Petey.

I'm just trying to train Jerry Lee how to use my cell phone.

I don't think he has figured that out yet.

It's still a work in progress.

Okay, buddy. Go get it!

Go get that pencil!

I got your message. What's up?

Hey, Petey. Thanks for coming.

I think I know who torched the place.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

Don't tell me. Because if you tell me,

I'm going to have to reopen the entire case.

If I can find him, he can lead me to the guy who did the heist.

Is this the misery loves company group? You want me off the job now?

Come on, Petey, this is your chance to be a hero!

- Save me the sales pitch. - Alright.

- What do you got? - Thyer. A name. Thyer.

- Charles Thyer. - Thyer.

If you think this is the guy,

what makes you think he'd torch the place before he robbed it?

You told me the Microlabs changed insurance companies after the fire.

Insurance companies need to approve blueprints and alarms

before they can sign a new policy.

So you think he took a look at the plans?

With all that security, he knew his way around pretty damn good.

- Alright, I'll check this guy out. - Thanks, Petey.

- But listen, this is the last time-- - Last!

- You are not a cop anymore. - Not a cop!

Can't even spell it.

- Thanks, Petey. - Good luck with the phone thing.

You'll know if it works. I programmed your number into the cell phone.

Sometimes I wonder about you.

Most of the time I wonder about you.

Me, too, Petey. Me, too.

What-- not all the pencils!

One pencil. Just one pencil. What are we going to do?

I think I have a better shot at teaching you how to use a pay phone.

So?

Are you certain he was a cop?

Oh, yeah. This guy was a cop.

This guy had handcuffs.

He had a police issue nine millimeter.

He had a big-ass German shepherd, alright.

Yeah, he was a cop.

You said nothing that would lead him to me, right?

Nothing at all, man.

I played this thing totally cool.

You know me. I'm a loyal guy, right? Loyalty's everything to me.

- Yeah. - Right?

- Relax, Billy. - Yeah?

- It's alright. - Okay?

- Yeah. - Alright?

- Yeah. - I swear, I didn't say a thing.

It's cool.

- Okay? - Yeah.

Okay, 'cos if you're good with that--

Hey, hey! Don't worry about it.

Okay? Get out of here.

- Alright. - Yeah.

- Okay. - Okay.

Loyalty is everything to me, too, Billy.

Here we go, my friend.

Jerry Lee?

[growling]

What's the matter?

Seek.

Okay, boy.

Come on.

- [groans] - Seek.

What the hell happened here, Jerry?

- Freeze! - Oh my God!

[barking]

Out! Out!

- This is me. - What are you doing here?

Kevin was at my house.

- Who? - Kevin...

whoever he is! Whatever his name is!

He was there, waiting for me after work!

And he knows that I've been looking for him!

He knows all about you, too.

And I tried to confront him about all the lies, but he...

he went-- the guy's out of his mind!

He started saying things to me, really horrible things.

And then he threatened--

he threatened to hurt me, and I didn't know what to do,

- so I got in the car and tried to call you... - Okay. Okay.

but there was no answer and I got scared.

Why don't we go in here? Take it easy, honey.

Take it easy.

Sit down. Just sit down. There you go.

- [weeping] - Just relax, okay?

Here, let me get something for you.

Here, here, here.

- Take this here. - I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

- Are you alright? - No, I'm sorry.

- It's okay, really. - I'm sorry I keep doing this to your clothes.

Don't worry about the shirt.

Listen, does he have a key to your place?

Yes, of course he does.

Well, you can't go home.

You should find a hotel.

I can't. I've got Lana.

- Who? - My dog.

I can't keep her in the car all night.

Why don't you just stay here?

I'm not sure that's such a good idea.

Oh, this mess I can clean up in a few minutes.

What happened in here?

I don't know.

I don't think I can impose.

No, it's not an imposition, honest to God.

I'll just straighten up all of it.

It'll take me a few minutes.

I'll make up the couch. You can sleep here.

In the morning, find a locksmith,

and change the locks on your place.

- You sure you don't mind? - Oh, no, no, no.

- Not at all. It would be a pleasure. - [grunts]

I'm not so sure Jerry Lee thinks it's a good idea.

He'll be fine.

Okay, I'll go get her.

You don't want her sitting in the car.

- I'll be right back. - Okay.

Come here.

You see those legs?

Huh? Now listen to me.

I don't care what kind of rat dog she's got,

I want you to be kind, friendly, and share your toys.

Otherwise, I'm going to lock you in the bathroom.

We're back!

[grunts]

You happy now?

- Come on in. - [barks]

Thanks for helping clean the place.

It's the least I could do.

Why someone would do something like this?

They were looking for something.

Did they find it?

It wasn't here.

Well, well, well.

[grunting]

[Dooley] Look at those two.

I think we should give them a little privacy.

- You think? - I don't know.

Yeah.

[grunting]

Be gentle.

This is the bathroom.

Kitchen, of course.

This is my room. Sheets are always clean...

in there.

The living room. The door is locked,

so you should feel very comfortable and safe.

You're all set here,

so breakfast and coffee is served at 8:00.

- Okay, thank you. - You're welcome.

I didn't plan on this,

so I don't actually have anything... to sleep in.

That's fine.

- Can I borrow something? - Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, sure, sure.

A shirt!

I'll get a shirt.

Jerry Lee and I-- we don't sleep in pajamas,

so we don't have any around.

That's pretty nice, huh?

- Perfect. - Yeah. This one's clean.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

- You'd like to change, wouldn't you? Yes. - Yes.

I'd like to step out while you do that.

[groans]

Well, looks great on you.

- Heh, it fits. - Yeah.

Is there anything else I can get you before we--

I mean...

you hit the sack?

A glass of water would be nice.

Agua. Mineral ale!

Water on the way!

[grunts, groans]

- [plastic crackling] - Thank you.

- Is that enough? - Yeah.

Great.

Is there anything else I can get you?

You know, a nightcap, piece of fruit,

floss?

You wouldn't happen to have any raisins, would you?

Yes, I have raisins. Hold on.

Raisins, raisins, raisins.

Raisins...

Yeah, I got raisins!

I got raisins.

Raisins are really good.

Two, three, four, five...

- Mmm. Here you go! - Mmm. Great.

- Thank you. I love raisins! - I love raisins, too.

- They're so good. - They're actually grapes, you know.

- Mm-hmm. - Vineyards use grapes for wine,

and the grapes that they don't use, they turn into raisins.

So we're actually eating Merlot.

Or we're eating shitty grapes.

- Something like that. I don't know. - Mmmm.

They're very...

- moist. - Mm-hmm.

And tender.

And tender.

And low in cholesterol.

Wait.

- I'm sorry. - What?

I just have to ask you something.

I got some. They're in the bedroom.

They're a little old, but the expiration date says they're fine.

No, no, no. Is this...

the beginning of something special or is it a one-night stand?

I think, maybe, we're getting ahead of ourselves.

Moving along too fast.

Okay.

Maybe we should talk about it in the morning?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Dooley? - Yes?

- Are you okay? - I'm fine.

Son of a bitch.

Looking for something?

You scared me to death. Yeah, I'm looking for a pen.

I wanted to leave you a note.

There's one right there on the desk behind you.

Duh!

How about breakfast?

I make a mean breakfast.

Dooley, I would love to, but I can't.

I've got a crazy day at work,

- and I have to walk Lana. - I can do that for you.

I'm going to walk Jerry Lee. I'm taking him to the dog park.

- A benefit of retirement. - It's not a good idea.

She's really finicky.

Is this about last night?

Don't worry about last night.

Bye-bye.

Alright, I'll call you soon.

[groans]

Stop your gloating.

You know, I made a choice.

You're a dog.

Hey.

Hey! Who jacked my place...

while you were supposed to be watching?! Who jacked my house?!

- What the hell's going on? - You're supposed to be watching it!

- I can't stand these clowns anymore! - Take it easy!

This isn't an investigation! It's an invasion of privacy!

- The captain wants to see you. - I'll see him once I'm done with these feds.

They can wait. The captain wants you in his office, now.

- Now?! - [barks, growls]

Come on, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?

- Get in the car. - Come on, Jerry Lee.

- We're going downtown. - [barks]

[barks]

Breathe.

What's so important I need an escort?

Sit down, Dooley, and shut up.

We found a body in the reservoir this morning.

Billy Cochran.

Is there anything you want to tell us

about your relationship to the deceased?

What, am I a suspect again?

You tell me.

Somebody with your description and Jerry Lee's

gets into a gunfight with him in his loft--

and I know for a fact you were in my office looking him up on my computer!

Captain, I did not kill Billy Cochran.

Then what the hell are you up to?

This came from the DOJ this morning.

Here's the guy you asked about-- Charles Thyer.

This is Nicholas Burrows,

and this is Kevin Wingate.

[Thomas] Burrows and Wingate are aliases for Charles Thyer.

According to the feds, he's some kind

of industrial terrorist with a penchant for disguise.

They think he's the one who jacked the lab.

[Timmons] There were four microchips stolen.

They were prototypes, but one is an alpha chip.

Without it, the other microchips will not work.

I know that. Where's Thyer?

Nobody knows.

They almost got him twice, but both times he got away.

They think he might have someone on the inside.

[Dooley] Cochran gave up Thyer,

Cochran's dead, my house has been ransacked--

- You think Thyer is behind all this? - I am sure of it.

Is there anybody out there who can corroborate this hunch?

Maybe. Frankie the Fence.

Find Frankie, bring him in.

Captain, you can't do that. If he finds out about it, Thyer will be gone.

- We'll never get him. - You're not a cop anymore.

- Let it go. - You have to understand--

Jerry Lee and I have been working on him.

We know what he's looking for.

We can find him, but we need Frankie to do it.

- What am I supposed to do? - Leave Frankie alone.

Give me 24 hours. You'll get your killer,

the feds will get their thief and I'll get my pension check.

And you'll never see me again.

- 24 hours, that's all. - Not one minute more, Dooley.

Yes, sir.

Well, if it isn't the former Detective Dooley.

Well, hello, Frankie. How's the fagioli?

Gives me indigestion just like you.

You just hurt my feelings.

Does that mean you're not going to ask me to join you?

You want to talk, you get a warrant.

Oh, I forgot you can't. You're not a cop anymore.

[growl]

In that case, get lost.

[growling]

Ahh!

Okay. I'll go.

Sorry to bother you. I know you're eating.

- Enjoy your meal. - Wait! Dooley!

- What? - Tell him to let go of my sport.

You want me to join you? Why, thank you very much.

- Don't mind if I do. Beans look good. - [groans]

I understand you're moving some pretty hot property.

I don't know what you're talking--

- Ohh! - [growling]

Well, yeah, business has been good.

I'm glad to hear that Frankie,

because I'm looking for a vendor.

- You're a cop! - Not anymore.

They took my pension away. This is for my personal growth.

No way. I got a strict policy.

- [groaning] - [growling]

Alright.

In your case, I'm willing to make an exception.

- Thank you, Frankie. - What are you selling?

A microchip.

- You heard of it? - [grunts]

Jerry Lee.

[sighs]

You know what I'm talking about?

It wouldn't happen to be a prototype, would it?

You tell your buyer to bring the other three,

and let's see if they match.

What's your price?

- Two million. - Dah! Ohhh!

That's reasonable.

I want him there. In person, with the money.

Midnight, tonight. At the foundry.

- Alright? - Good.

- Huh. - Come on, Jerry Lee.

No dog.

No dog, no deal.

My client's coming alone, so can you.

Come on, fair is fair.

Alright, dog will stay in the car,

but I want him there, in person,

with the cash.

- Alright. - Keep the bread.

I'm on that protein thing now.

- Right. - Come on, Jerry.

[recording] Hi, you've reached Kevin and Laura.

- Please leave us a message. - [beeps]

Yes, Laura, I've been trying to reach you.

Will you please call me as soon as you get this message?

Okay, buddy.

Here we are.

Okay, give me that little...

chip.

- Okay. - [groans]

Here's the deal. Here's the phone.

Phone there.

Pen-- it's right here.

You hear anything,

anything at all,

You call Petey with the pen.

Bang! That's it.

Bang! Good. Okay.

Okay, buddy, I'll be back.

[barks, whimpers]

Use the phone to call Petey, if you need to.

[groans]

[Thyer] That's far enough!

Well, if it isn't Charles Thyer.

Or should I say, Kevin Wingate?

- Does it matter? - To some people?

The IRS, your fiancée,

Blockbuster Video--

Detective, put down your gun.

- You got the money? - No.

- Give it to me. - No.

[barks]

The next one won't miss.

- Take it easy, Chuckie. - Hey!

Do not call me Chuckie.

I can understand that. You must have had trouble as a kid calling you Chuckie.

You know, the little doll with the knife-- ehhhh!

Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie! Okay.

Easy.

Back up, back up.

[gun clatters]

Okay.

Do you have any idea what you put me through?

I didn't do it on purpose.

I didn't know Jerry Lee swallowed it.

You don't want to blow that thing off, Charles.

I mean, another bang!

You don't know who's going to hear that.

You keep popping those things off--

Bang, bang, bang! Bang bang, bang!

You need to shut up right now.

[whimpers]

You've got the chip.

What else do you want?

From you? Absolutely nothing.

[gunshot]

He was gonna kill you.

I had to stop him.

Yeah.

Thank you.

[growling]

You said you'd find him and you did.

- Ah-ah! - Laura.

You are good.

Really good.

I always wondered how Thyer

knew his way around that lab.

When I finally figured out that Charles Thyer

and Kevin Wingate, your fiancé, were the same guy,

all I had to do was take one look at your business card

and bang! I had my answer.

Insurance adjuster.

Fire, blueprints. Bingo.

You were in on it with him, huh?

What happened? Why did you lose interest?

What went wrong? What?

You decided to split up after he lost the chip?

He always told me partners only get one mistake.

That was his. You're pretty smart, Dooley.

I guess that's your mistake.

You set me up.

You put me onto Wingate to find Thyer for you.

I hired you to find my fiancé.

- You did your job. - Thanks.

Can I use you as a reference?

[ringing]

LAPD, Detectives.

- Hello? - [barking]

Must be a prank.

- Some dog on the phone? - A dog?

Dooley was training Jerry Lee

to dial me on the cell phone if he got into trouble.

Give me the chip, Dooley.

You want it?

Go get it.

[gun cocks]

You had to be a boy scout.

[barking]

Get my gun!

That a boy. Good boy! Come on, where were you?

Damn it!

Laura!

Laura, come on!

Jesus! Jerry!

- You don't have to do this. - [gunshot]

- Jerry Lee! - [barking]

Easy! Easy!

[panting]

- Watch it! Watch. - [groans]

Jerry...

you go that way. Go on!

Good boy.

- Oh! - [gunshot]

[barks]

Come on, Laura.

You don't have to do this.

You could turn yourself in,

and work out a deal.

A deal? No deal.

It's all over, Dooley.

[clicks]

Shit!

Why do I always pick the psychos?

Where you going?

The police are coming.

You're trapped. You've got nowhere to hide.

Please, be reasonable here.

Screw you, Dooley.

Nice mouth.

Whoa! [screaming]

Hold on!

Come here, give me your hand!

- Hold on, hold on! - No-oo!

That's it. I got you!

Now, easy, easy. Hold on!

- [screams] - [barks]

I got you. Hang on!

[groans]

[screams]

Jesus!

Jerry Lee! Jerry Lee!

- Hold it! - No!

Don't you dare let go!

Jerry Lee!

- Jerry? - [barks]

Come on! Hang on.

Grab my pants!

That's it. My foot! That a boy!

- That's it, pull! - [growling]

That's a boy!

Little more! That's it!

- Ahhhh! - Pull more!

That's it!

Come on!

[Petey] Dooley?!

- Come on. - Dooley!

- Here! - [barks]

I'm alright. Don't worry about it.

Who the hell is she?

This is Charles Thyer's partner.

- Arrest her. - I guess I just picked the wrong guy.

That was your mistake, huh?

No. My mistake was going soft on you.

It happens, you know.

[scoffs]

[sighs]

Good work, Dooley.

Your pension's in my office.

- [barks] - Congratulations.

Thank you, sir.

So, Dooley, you're retired?

Yeah.

- [dog groans] - [laughs]

- Well, that dog did it again. - Hey.

[yelps]

Jerry Lee, do you hear that?

Pension check is waiting. We've got our money.

We're retired. We're going on a trip, buddy.

- A big trip. - [howl]

Give me five, give me five! Yeah!

And where were you?

Were you chasing squirrels while I almost died?

Leave me hanging over here.

What, it wasn't challenging enough for you?

You have to wait until I'm almost dead

before you come and save the day?

You need more discipline as a dog.

You know what I need? I need a pizza.

- [barks] - I am so hungry.

Hey, Maurice!

Oh, so there you are. Finally.

Come on.

- How are you, Mr. Studly? - I'm just fine, thank you.

Okay, where are they?

Just keep your knickers on. They're right over there.

Okay. Here we go.

[Maurice] So, I heard you went on a little trip.

Yeah, we went across country.

Right there, and the balance of payment.

- Oh, great. - Mm-hmm. Skip along-- she's waiting.

- Thank you, Maurice. - You're welcome.

My God.

Jerry Lee, you're a dad!

Come on.

- Hi! - Hi!

- How are you? - I'm good. How are you?

I'm a-- I'm great.

I promised you the pick of the litter.

So which one do you want?

Can I have them all?

No, I promised two of them to my sister's kids.

- Oh my God. How do you pick? - [laughs]

Look at how beautiful they are.

Jerry Lee, you are a stud. Come on over here!

- Yes! - Looky, there's one!

- Oh my God. - Hi, baby.

- Look at you! - [flatulence]

Ohhh!

Oh! We'll take this one.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Jerry Lee, look at this one. Look at this one.

Yeah, you can smell your own, can't you? [laughs]

- [groans] - You're so beautiful.

Thank you. Well, thank you.

- Don't cry. - [chuckles]

It's the puppy thing, I don't know.

So, what do we name him?

[puppies barking]

I don't know.

How about '‘Nick'?

- Nick's good. I like Nick. - Nick.

- Or something like 'Mike.' - Mike. Nick.

- Peter. - Paul.

- Peter, Paul, Mary. - [both laugh]

[Dooley] We clearly can't get a name out of this.

We're pretty good at breeding.

How about you and I go into business? Breeding dogs.

I don't know. It depends on the split.

- 50/50 split. - No, I don't think so.

- [Catherine] Wait a second. - What do you mean, wait a second?

- Is this a negotiation ploy? - [Catherine] Maybe.

- You got him? - Yes I got him.

Alright. You're about to lose another one.

Dooley, will you relax?

This negotiation thing is really important.

- Really? - I don't want to--

There goes another one! Jerry Lee, go get 'em!

I think he's after that terrier.

[Catherine] Wouldn't you be? Look how cute...

♪ Ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ♪

♪ One more than two ♪

♪ Her, me and you ♪

♪ Lost at the end ♪

♪ Found at the start ♪

♪ That thing I know ♪

♪ Lovers are blue ♪

♪ There it began ♪

♪ But I've done that part ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ♪

[vocal harmonies]

[vocal harmonies continuing]

[music ends]