Original subtitles

Enjoy your time,

This is Henry, poor old Henry, married for more than a year.

Henry is more than a year's worth of memory and never being allowed to forget it.

Can you imagine that Henry would dare to be unfaithful,

you know, have an affair with another woman?

Of course not.

But you'd be wrong.

Because that's exactly what the poor chap did once.

Just once.

One day, while his wife was out shopping for the day,

Henry threw caution to the winds, bought a model-girl home,

and went to her in his wife's bedroom, if you please.

Silly fellow.

He must have been absolutely desperate to make such an elementary blunder.

You should have known he was asking for trouble.

Henry.

Henry.

Henry.

Henry.

Henry.

Henry.

Henry.

Oh, wow.

Henry. Henry.

A film by Theitute

Henry?

Henry, where are you?

That was too close for poor Henry.

He gave up the whole idea and sold his mistress

through a box number in the sex magazine.

Like, if you think that's far-fetched,

I must tell you that in Germany recently,

a wife obtained a divorce

because her husband made love to one of these dolls instead of her.

However, it does illustrate, in a rather amusing way,

how nice it would be if it were that easy

to keep your mistress out of sight.

But alas, most men do not find it that simple.

Ever since marriage was invented,

husbands have been tempted astray by the sexual wiles

and attractions of other women.

Man vice versa.

But that's another story.

Man is essentially a polygamous creature,

and although he willingly binds himself to one woman

by a contract of marriage,

he finds it very difficult to stifle his natural instinct

when mesmerized by a beautiful female.

If he succumbs completely, we call it adultery.

And in our society, that is sufficient grounds

to end his marriage in a divorce court.

Let us not forget, however,

that nature has given most of the powers of attraction to women.

They provide the magnetism.

Men are merely the iron filings.

The classic situation in which the husband is tempted away

is the eternal triangle,

consisting of the husband, the wife,

and the villainous of the peace, the other woman.

Now, in this film, we have dramatized four different situations

which are actually all based on true stories

and which have one basic fact in common,

the other woman, the seductress.

She motivates the situation

and manipulates the poor husband into submission.

He becomes a victim of an extramarital sex adventure.

This girl had one burning ambition.

Find a wealthy lover who could keep her in luxury.

This kind of woman is usually referred to as a girl's digger.

I come from a typical middle-class suburban background.

Like many young girls,

I'd always dreamed of marrying a very wealthy man

and leading a glamorous and exciting life.

Then one day at the tennis club,

I met the very man, rich, handsome,

but married, of course.

They always are.

Would you like a peppermint?

Oh, thank you.

I adore speed. Show me how far she goes.

Certainly any time.

What about now? Then you can drop me off at my place.

What about Arthur? Arthur, who's Arthur?

Well, your boyfriend.

Oh, him? Oh, he'll be all right. He can find his own way home.

OK, jump in.

That's the ton. You satisfied?

I thought they could do 120.

Oh, they can easily.

See any patrol cars around?

Well, it looks clear.

Anyway, who cares?

Put your foot down, Red. I love speed.

Right, this it?

Yep, this is it.

Thank you very much, Red. It was fantastic.

Any time.

What sort of work do you do?

I'm a model.

What sort of modeling?

Oh, mainly fashion.

Women's magazines. Usual old stuff.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

No, I'd love to, but I afraid I can't.

We're having guests for dinner tonight.

Friends of the wine.

I'm not sure.

I'm afraid I can't. We're having guests for dinner tonight.

Friends of the wives.

Oh, yes, I was forgetting. I'm married, of course.

No, if you're free, the weekend, we could get together again.

Go for a flip, maybe.

A flip?

Yes, I've got a plane.

And you're a plane?

Well, it's not exactly a 707, but it's great fun.

Does the idea appeal to you?

Appeal to me? You try and stop me.

It sounds crazy.

Good. Well, look, I'll pick you up here at 3 o'clock on Saturday.

OK, bye, Rosie.

Till Saturday.

The old charm had worked beautifully.

Get a man to show you how well he can handle a fast car,

and it does wonders for his ego.

It was pretty obvious that his wife was a drag,

and that they didn't lead a very exciting life together.

And I was just the girl to change all that.

Saturday simply couldn't come quick enough.

This is Golf Alpha Victor, Juliet Tango,

climbing up on heading with 2-8-0.

Juliet Tango, maintain present heading,

and report clear control, sir.

We'll go.

Make a dive or something.

My car's hit.

I'm going to get a lift.

I'm going to get a lift.

Make a dive or something.

My car's here.

It's controlled zone.

It's marvelous up here.

It's so secluded and private.

Hey, what are you doing?

Getting undressed.

I'm feeling a very daring move.

Hey, there he is!

Hasn't this thing got an automatic water?

An autopilot?

Yes, why?

Well, let that drive it then.

What for?

I want you to just...

I want you to just use me.

Well, I can't hear you.

It's illegal.

Then I'll just use you.

Juliet Tango, your position, please.

Juliet Tango, please report your exact position.

Tango, Tango, please give me your exact position.

Some story.

Yeah, some position at all.

How big was it then?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe it was some position at all.

How big was it then?

Pardon?

Was it a big one?

It wasn't exactly a jumbo.

It sounds quite a catch. Pity he's married.

Personally, I like that sort of challenge.

Ask him if he's got a rich friend.

What a jumbo size.

The bigger the better.

I hate to interrupt you, but we are working.

Coming on, Walt.

Our tits are up, tannies are tannes in.

You're supposed to look glamorous, you know.

Oh, it's stuffed on.

I'll make my own arrangements, thank you.

I wasn't really concentrating on Arnold and his kinky underwear.

My mind was on more important things.

Like how nice it was to have a rich boyfriend

and what my next move would be.

I wondered if it was too soon to suggest we went off somewhere for a weekend.

Or would that be pushing it?

I saw Reggie more and more during the weeks that followed.

He came down to my flat almost every day.

And I always made his visits worthwhile.

He became really crazy about me,

showering me with very expensive presents.

You know, diamonds, perfume, even a min-coat.

But he never said much about the other side of his life.

Like where he lived and what his wife was like.

Reggie. Hello, my love.

You came just in time.

I have just decided to leave you.

You what?

Do you know it's been a four days.

Four bloody days.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Oh, but I am. Deadly serious.

Look, never mind, I can make it up to you.

My wife's gone away.

Oh, Reggie, that is good news.

Did you tell her about us then?

Oh, don't be bloody stupid.

Look, I was about to say before you interrupted me

that Flora has gone to the Bahamas with a friend.

Well, perhaps we can get Flora to stay away for good.

Look, there's no chance of that.

Anyway, it does mean I can be with you for two weeks.

In fact, well, I could stay here, couldn't I?

Uh, not here, Reg.

Why not?

I have an idea. Why don't we stay at your place?

Well, that's not such a good idea, is it?

Why not? Flora's away, no problems.

Well, what about the neighbours? We might be seen.

Let's live dangerously.

Take me to see this place of yours.

I'll smuggle myself in.

No one need ever know.

Look, what?

Promise.

This was the opportunity I had been waiting for.

By the time we reached the penthouse,

I was bursting with curiosity.

Wow, he certainly lived in style.

I felt a bit uneasy at first, as if I was trespassing,

which I suppose I was.

It was her home, his wife's home,

and I was only his mother.

It was her home, his wife's home,

and I was only his mistress, after all.

But this was the life for me.

I was determined to use every trick in the book

to get Reggie all to myself.

Now it was me against her,

and I was playing to win.

Reggie!

Reggie!

Reggie!

Reggie?

Yeah?

You do love me, don't you?

Of course I do. It's a neat question.

Better than you love your wife.

What do you think?

I'm very happy.

Good.

Why does she say that she found out about us?

God knows. She's a very possessive woman.

Reggie, you did say she went to the Bahamas, didn't you?

Yes, why?

Well, I don't think she went.

Of course she went.

Well, would you mind telling me who that is out on the balcony then?

What?

Flora!

Nice big smile, Reggie darling.

You won't prove anything with that.

The two before were much more interesting, weren't they?

You photographed very well, sweetie.

Ah, gee, thanks.

Don't mention it.

I thought you were...

In the Bahamas? I thought you would.

Now I forget that divorce I wanted, won't I?

You can leave, sweetie.

That goes for you too, loveable boy,

and don't think you're coming back.

Reggie moved out and took a hotel sweep,

so I was able to see him more often.

Flora meant exactly what she said.

She lost no time in suing for divorce.

Of course I realized that Reggie would have to make some sort of provision for Flora,

but I didn't really mind.

After all, he was a wealthy man,

and soon I would be taking her place as his wife.

Meanwhile, I started to make plans for a nice, long, romantic holiday.

Reggie?

I'll make you such a good wife

that you'll never dream of being unfaithful to me like you were with Flora.

Let's get the plane and fly off somewhere far away.

Alone.

Can't use the plane, I'm afraid.

It's, um...

It's out of action.

Oh, well, we'll have to take the car then.

No, I don't feel like driving.

Are you feeling all right?

Yes, it's just that...

I don't feel like going anywhere.

It's all right, darling, it was any suggestion.

Look, I'm sorry, it's just I've got a lot on my mind at the moment.

I said it was all right.

Liz,

would you love me just the same if I had no money?

What a thing to say!

Of course I would.

In Christ willow.

What?

Look, you might as well know the truth, darling.

We are skint.

Oh, pull the other one.

It's true. Flora's a rich one. There's nothing in my name.

I mean, you saw her. Why do you think I married her?

Look, it's different now, isn't it?

I mean, who cares about money?

I care about money.

You can't be serious.

You said you loved me.

I did, Richie.

Where are you going?

You've just been stood up, lover boy.

But we're getting married.

Oh, that was when you were rich.

Things have changed now.

Listen, you're not leaving me now.

I bloody will am.

Honey-grabbing bitch!

Well, I suppose he asked for that.

A more common situation,

and the one which many wives seem to fear the most,

involves the girl at the office.

Now, not the traditional image of the private secretary

sitting on the boss's knee,

but the attractive typist in her tight sweater and miniscuit.

Wives, suspicious, and menacing.

Wives, suspicious, and jealous.

Look upon this kind of sexual distraction as a major threat,

and let's be honest, they're often right.

These young teasers can pay havoc,

even with the most happily married men,

young and old alike.

What can a fellow do when a sexy girl throws herself at him?

Turn the other way?

It may sound like that.

He'll nibble at the bait and get hooked.

After a few twinges of conscience,

he's flatter, you see.

What's more, he's part of his wife's reach.

This is Chris Barlow, a ready-made target.

He's 24, they're not in love with his wife.

They've been married eight months,

and he's on his way to start a new job as an accountant.

Nothing could be further from his mind

than the thought of an encounter with the office vamp.

Morning, sir.

I'm Christopher Barlow.

Oh, good morning, Barlow. Glad to have you with us.

Sit down.

Well, there are plenty of opportunities here.

And from what I've heard, you're just the sort of young man we need.

So it's up to you.

Anything you'd like to ask me?

No, I don't think so.

Well, if you have any real problems, come and see me.

Thank you, sir.

I'll just get one of my secretaries to take you down to Mr. Kershaw,

who you'll be working with.

And Miss Hargreaves, ask Miss Biggs to come in, will you please?

Thank you.

I think you'll get on well with Kershaw,

if you come and nose the ropes.

Here, look after you.

I'm his bigs. This is Mr. Barlow.

Show him down to Mr. Kershaw, will you?

Good luck, Barlow.

Thank you, sir.

Lisa.

Hmm?

I'm Lisa.

What's your first name, Mr. Barlow?

Oh, uh, Chris.

This is Mr. Barlow.

I'm Mr. Kershaw.

I'm Mr. Kershaw.

I'm Mr. Kershaw.

I'm Mr. Kershaw.

I'm Mr. Kershaw.

This is Mr. Barlow.

Hello, Mr. Barlow.

When are we going to have that dirty wicket in Brighton, then, darling?

You'll be lucky.

That's Lisa the teaser.

By the way, you married.

Yes, why?

You want to watch out, that's her speciality.

Speciality?

She specialised in married men.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if she's found out about you already from personnel.

By the way, this is your desk.

Oh, thanks.

She obviously wasn't called Lisa the teaser for nothing.

There was I.

Trying to make a good impression in a brand new job.

And every time I looked up, there she was.

Flaunting herself for my benefit.

Oh, yes, it was for my benefit, all right.

Kershaw had hit the nail on the head.

She was after me.

She was wasting her time.

She wouldn't have any effect on me.

Two lamps, darling?

Darling?

Sugar?

Oh, oh, yes, yes.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Two lamps, darling?

Darling?

Sugar?

Oh, oh, yes, yes, please.

Thanks.

I suppose the office is full of dolly birds?

Oh, I wouldn't know about that.

Too busy to notice.

What do you mean, too busy?

Well, there was one I couldn't help noticing.

Ah, that's more like it.

What's so special about her?

I do believe you're jealous.

Jealous?

You're sexier than all of them put together.

I don't believe a word of it.

But seriously, Chris, I...

I don't know what you'd do if you started

larking around with other women.

Don't you worry your head about that.

No chance. Come here.

What do I want with other women?

That's very kind of you, Chris.

Oh, it's all right.

They come into the social life.

They come into the social life.

They come into the social life.

They come into the social life.

They come into the social life.

They come into the social club tonight.

What social club?

The firm's social club.

Well, it's not really a social club.

Just a crowd of us from the office

have a drink on Tuesdays after work.

I usually go straight home after work.

The wifey, I suppose.

Well, pity I could have introduced you to everyone.

Well, I suppose I shouldn't be unsocial, really.

No, you shouldn't.

I'll see you at the Duke of York tonight at six.

She knew I'd go, didn't she?

I suppose I was flattered that she was paying

so much attention to me.

In spite of Kershaw warning me off, too.

Actually,

she turned out to be Johnny Good Company.

A great fund.

I don't think I'd ever met such an uninhibited girl.

Mind you, she got sex on the brain.

She also dropped big hints that she was free for the night.

Now, what could I do about that?

I was tempted, certainly.

Who wouldn't be?

It took an awful lot of time.

I wouldn't be.

It took an awful lot of willpower to pass up the opportunity.

But I managed to do it.

No, it just wasn't worth it.

If she wanted me that badly, she'd have to bloody well wait.

I had a feeling it would only be a matter of time

before she did get what she wanted.

But right now, I had to get home to Sue.

Lisa had turned me on so much

that I was right in the mood for a session

by the time I arrived home.

Hi, darling.

Have a good day.

Yes, thanks. You?

Yes, fine.

What's cooking?

I'm making a souffle.

Ah.

Sorry I'm late, darling, but I had

a lot of things to clear up for.

Chris, not in the kitchen.

Have a mouthful of this instead.

Mmm.

What about the souffle?

Mmm, it's on the souffle.

Hello.

No lunch today?

No.

Watching your figure?

No, as a matter of fact, I've got rather a lot of work to do.

Look at this.

What?

My figure.

That's very nice.

That's your wife, then?

Yeah.

I wouldn't have thought she was your type.

No lunch today, then?

No, no.

As a matter of fact, I...

I'm feeling a bit off-colour.

Yeah, you look a bit off-colour.

Take care that if I was you. Very nasty.

Very nasty.

Oh, that was a bit close.

Come on. I know a safer place.

Why, isn't there?

You must be joking. We'll never get in there.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is ridiculous.

Oh, come on, get out of here.

Oh, my God.

Is it bad?

It's all right, I think. Seems busted.

You and your bloody green pappards.

Come on, I could do with a drink.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, I could do with a drink.

No doubt about it.

This girl was quite capable of wrecking my marriage.

I fancy her.

And before long, I knew Jolly Weller would be unfaithful to Sue.

Hey.

I've got a great idea.

Get your clothes off quick.

Chucky.

Close the door.

It's stuck.

Yes, not going to work in here, is it?

Close the door on the left.

It's stuck.

You're very quiet tonight.

No.

Anything wrong?

No, no.

I'm not going to work in here.

I'm not going to work in here.

I'm not going to work in here.

I'm not going to work in here.

Close the door on the left.

No.

No, no, of course not.

Let me see if there is.

Just so that it's not like you to be so quiet.

If there is anything wrong,

you can tell me.

After all, I am your wife.

No, no, it's nothing.

Chris.

Hmm?

You...

You haven't been unfaithful, have you?

Unfaithful?

No.

No, of course not.

When on earth makes you say that?

I was only pulling your leg.

Suppose I'd said yes.

I don't know.

It would depend.

On what?

On lots of things.

Let's change the subject, shall we?

By the way,

I've got a bone to pick with you.

I've decided it's about time

you took me out for the evening.

Tomorrow night.

I'll take you out for a slap-up meal tomorrow night, okay?

Next day,

Lisa was conspicuous by her absence

and I managed to get through stacks of work and interrupted.

I wanted to get away dead on time.

I was looking forward to taking Sue out.

Oh, Chris, the manager directed this office just right down.

Have you finished that analysis?

Oh, yeah, yeah, here it is.

Oh, good. Could you take it up to him, please?

No, no, no, no.

Oh, good. Could you take it up to him, please?

Yeah, of course.

Right, I'm off. See you in the morning.

Oh, good evening, sir.

I brought the analysis.

Mr. Kershaw said you wanted it urgently.

He's so right.

Oh, my God.

You out of your mind?

You'll get us both the bloody sack.

Relax.

I told you I'd find somewhere better, didn't I?

Yeah, but this is...

I said relax. I lock that door and come and sit down.

Everybody's gone home.

Better than the lift, isn't it?

That's better.

No, I can't.

I promised my wife I'd take her out tonight.

After all the trouble I've gone to, put her off.

Tell her you can't make it.

Hello.

Hello, darling.

Sorry about this,

but something's cropped up at the office,

and so I'll be late.

Yes, yes, I know we were,

but we'll have to put it off till tomorrow.

Yes.

Well, I must go. Bye, darling.

Yes, yes.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Of course I do.

Bye.

There you are. Easy, wasn't it?

Now, pour yourself a drink and let's relax.

Right. Now show me your analysis, Mr. Barland.

Where were you today?

I thought you were away.

I'll tell you later.

You'd better take these off.

We don't want any more accidents, do we?

Grace.

Grace.

Grace.

Christ, it's the cleaners.

We better get out.

We better get out.

Good night.

Good night.

Have you finished your nails, sir?

Yes, thank you. Good night.

Good night.

Hi, darling.

Hello.

Sorry about tonight, but there's nothing I could do about it.

It's all right, darling.

I understand.

There's some bits and pieces in the fridge if you're hungry.

Oh, no, I had a bite at the office.

I'll have a quick wash-up and then I'll come straight to bed.

Okay, darling.

You know,

you're a very sexy woman.

Ah.

I think I can't see you tonight.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I think I can't see you tonight.

But you must be very tired.

Tired?

I'm not tired.

You know,

I'm very lucky to have you.

You don't know how lucky you are.

Mm-hmm.

Now, what a close one.

Not all husbands are as lucky as Chris

and get away with it.

Not all wives would react like Sue

when faced with such a situation.

You could say that she had

a very wise head on her young shoulders.

Intuition had probably told her

that Chris was a very good man.

Intuition had probably told her

that Chris's affair had been a passing infatuation.

And she had decided

that it wasn't worth upsetting their marriage

because of it.

Furthermore,

she was confident enough in her own attractiveness

and ability to cope with any

threat from this other woman,

whoever she may be.

You know, sexual attraction

is not confined to the young.

We can span widely different ages

in the most unexpected

circumstances, although it is more

usual for the man to be the older party.

Take our next case, for instance.

I doubt

if you would find a more solid example

of a respectable middle-aged husband

than Guy Parkinson,

an architect by profession,

happily married,

free from financial worries,

and a daughter at boarding school

who considers him

bit of a square.

I thought I'd be the last person

in the world to get involved with another woman.

Did I say woman?

It all started

when my daughter Louise brought a school friend home

to stay with us one weekend.

Hi, Daddy.

No.

Where's Mum?

Louise, how are you?

Your mother just popped next door for a minute.

Everything's buzzing with activity, as usual.

Why didn't you put some music on or something?

I was just having a quiet read.

Oh, by the way, this is Sarah.

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Parkinson.

Been looking forward to this weekend.

You're very welcome, Madel. Make yourself at home.

Come on, Brooks. Let's go and sort your room out.

Then we can take these glossy uniforms off.

Mm-hmm.

Well, here we are then.

This is your room.

Lovely.

All mod cons.

Bathroom and Lou, right opposite.

Thanks. I think it's super.

You're all man's not nearly as stuffy as you may down.

He's quite dishy.

Dishy?

But he's ancient.

I like the picture.

Who did it?

I can't stand it.

As a matter of fact, Daddy painted it.

I think he's very good.

I think he's very good.

Come on, get changed. I'm hungry.

Sarah seems an awfully nice girl, don't you think, Guy?

Yes, very pleasant.

Her parents live in America, you know.

Father's a heart specialist or something.

You really?

Oh, good.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

Sarah had transformed from a schoolgirl

into a very beautiful young woman.

It must have been obvious to her from my reaction

that she'd had some sort of effect on me.

All through dinner that evening,

I had the feeling that she was a very beautiful woman.

All through dinner that evening,

I had the feeling that she was watching me, too.

I didn't quite know what to make of it all.

Maybe it was all imagination.

Probably wishful thinking at my age.

Then next morning...

Well, have you had the doctor?

Oh, all right, Mother.

I'll be with you about 12 o'clock. Guy will drive me out.

Bye-bye.

Now what?

Mother said another of her nasty turns.

Oh, no, not again.

She's all right, but you know what she's like.

I said I'd go over and keep her company.

You don't mind taking me, do you?

I'll take you, Mum.

You don't mind, do you?

Well, it's a long way. You know, you've only had your license five minutes.

Oh, please, Daddy. I'll be able to see careful.

Oh, all right then.

But do not go over 15. Do you understand?

Come on, Sarah. You're coming.

No. You take your mother and I'll stay

and keep your father company.

I'll be back.

I'll be back.

I love watching people paint.

Does it put you off, Mr. Parkinson?

No, not at all.

By the way, what are you going to do with yourself all day, Louise?

Won't be back until late, you know?

I'll just watch you if you don't mind.

Uh-huh.

Do I always paint flowers?

No, not always.

I bet you've never painted in years.

No, as a matter of fact, I haven't.

What on earth made you ask?

Just a thought.

Shall I try one today?

I don't think I quite follow.

Paint me, Mr. Parkinson.

I've always wanted a model for an artist.

Don't be ridiculous, Sarah. It's on to the question.

I wouldn't be embarrassed or anything.

I'm not going to be a model for an artist.

I'm not going to be a model for an artist.

I'm not going to be a model for an artist.

I wouldn't be embarrassed or anything.

No, I couldn't really.

Please.

It would be much more exciting than flowers.

I was shocked at first.

Here was this beautiful creature,

a comparative stranger,

posing naked in my study.

And yet, she made it seem

the most natural thing in the world.

What followed made me realize

that this was not just a dizzy schoolgirl.

I was shocked at first.

Here was this beautiful creature,

a comparative stranger,

posing naked in my study.

And yet, she made it seem

the most natural thing in the world.

This was not just a dizzy schoolgirl,

but a sexually mature woman.

Age just didn't come into it.

Do you think I got a good figure?

Yes, I do.

Sometimes I stand for hours in front of the mirror,

looking at my body.

Do you think that's terribly vain?

No, not really. I believe all young girls do it.

I fantasize too.

A dishy man

caressing me all over

and making passionate love to me.

People shouldn't be so inhibited

by sex, should they?

They haven't given it a great deal of thought, actually.

But it would be a great help

if you managed to keep still.

Suppose that I wanted you to make love to me?

I haven't shocked you, have I, Mr. Parkinson?

I think you're rather a precarious woman.

I'm not a precarious woman.

I'm not a precarious woman.

I think you're rather a precarious young lady.

Oh, and Sarah, for heaven's sake, keep still.

I'd love to see their faces if they walked in now.

Then they won't be back for hours yet.

Uh-uh-uh.

I think it would be better if you stayed where you were.

I was getting a bit stiff.

It's very good.

I want to give you a big kiss.

Sarah,

you're a lovely girl, but I don't think we're short.

Our secret affair flourished over the weekend.

And every time we came near each other,

I had consciously to hold back.

I was really quite sad when the time came

for the girls to go back to school.

I was absolutely certain, however,

that neither Louise nor Cynthia

had the slightest idea of what was going on.

My dearest Mr. Parkinson,

I haven't stopped thinking about you

since our lovely weekend together.

It was the most wonderful thing

that had ever happened to me.

And I've fallen deeply in love

for the very first time.

I know how awkward this could be for you,

but I can't help the way I feel.

But nobody need ever know our secret.

I simply can't wait to see you again.

I shall get Louise to ask you

and Mrs. Parkinson if I can come and stay again

during the summer break.

Please, please say yes.

Do right soon and tell me you love me

as much as I love you.

All my love, Sarah.

I had a lovely letter from young Sarah this morning.

Sir, here it is.

Thank you for having her.

What a charming girl she is.

Yes, delightful.

And Louise is asking if Sarah can come

and stay with us again in the summer.

Of course. Why not?

I'll write and tell her then.

The summer holidays arrived

and once again, Sarah was back with us.

Thankfully, she gave no indication

that there was anything between us.

And although it was very difficult,

I managed to hide my feelings too.

I dreaded to think what might happen

if ever Cynthia found out.

I always had always been a happy marriage.

Not exactly passionate in a sexual sense.

But I certainly didn't want to jeopardize it

by running away with Sarah or anything silly like that.

I couldn't sleep.

Well, go back then and have another try.

Well, please let me stay.

We haven't had a chance to talk yet.

Well, why do you want to talk now?

Us.

Don't you love me anymore?

Why on earth do you ask that?

You seem a bit off hand, that's all.

You're worried about what happened at half-term.

Well, not worried exactly.

Little silly.

I'm not worried about you.

I'm not worried about you.

Not worried exactly?

Little surprised at myself, I suppose.

It wasn't the first time you know.

And then you must have realized that.

And I am on the pill.

And that's not the point.

The point is that you are young.

I know. I'm a guest in your house.

And I'm young enough to be your daughter.

And I'm in love with you.

And you're married.

It's a ridiculous situation.

So, Mr. Parkinson, where do we go from here?

To bed.

Oh, good. Come on, then.

No, no, no. I didn't mean it that way.

I want you to make love to me.

Shh. No, Sarah.

I'll scream and say you try to write me.

Shh. You wouldn't dare.

I'm not some silly little school girl with a crush.

I'm really in love with you.

And I want you.

Sarah.

I'm sorry.

Don't be afraid.

I will.

I'll be back.

Okay.

I'll be there.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

I suppose I should have felt guilty.

here but I didn't. The strange thing was as the days went by our affair seemed even more natural.

What's more we were doing it under the very noses of my family.

Well, Sarah of course was thoroughly enjoying the situation. She never missed the opportunity

for a bit of mischief either. Even though it was hard to keep a straight face sometimes.

We only every night during that hot August, Sarah came to my study and it began to get

later and later when we went back to our own rooms. Cynthia being a heavy sleeper didn't notice, thank goodness.

Oh thank you both. It's beautiful. Towards the end of the holiday at Bacera's birthday,

her 18th and I decided to give her something rather well a woman's present.

No give me perfume. Well it's different you're our daughter besides you're not 18 yet.

Happy birthday Brooks.

Oh Louise it's beautiful. Do you like it?

Yes I do. Your perfume is super too. I'm not going to wear it though.

Oh why not? I read a book once. Clever mischievous. Don't wear perfume.

You're a wicked girl Sarah. Let's inaugurate my 19th year. I'm an adult now.

Here's to a doubt rhythm.

You know me, it's unridiculous. I wish I could tell Cynthia about her.

She wouldn't even make him to understand.

I don't think I'll ever want to get married.

Yes you will. One day.

Well if I do I hope it's someone like you.

Ow! Didn't they say anything about bracelets in that book?

Oh yes he said take them off.

Hey aren't you ready yes? Oh you're ready. I've had a fabulous holiday here.

I've really enjoyed myself. I bet you have. There's something I want to ask you Sarah Brooks.

Did you lose anything last night? No I don't think so.

What about this then? Where'd you find that? You knew Jolly Well where I found it.

I know exactly what you've been up to and it's not the only thing I found either.

The tits are a bit wrong but there's no mistaking who it is. Give that back Louise.

You can have it you can't. It's all right I won't say anything. Good luck to you.

If I was in your place I'd probably fancy him too. You're not mad then?

Just don't want mum to find out that's all. What are you going to do then? Take it with us.

Bye bye dad. Bye bye.

I know all about you and Sarah. I'm taking the painting. You're taking it with us.

You wouldn't want mother to find out about it. Now would we?

Bye bye.

And although Guy had found it impossible to resist the advances of this promiscuous teenager,

he was also sensible enough to realize that there could be no question of developing the

relationship with Sarah. It was strictly a short-term passing affair, a pleasant experience

to reflect upon, but scarcely liked it to be repeated. The greatest danger in this particular case

was that it was conducted in the victim's own home under the very noses of his wife and daughter.

There's an old adage that you never foul your own doorstep unless of course you can get away

with it out of pure cheek or unless a strange combination of circumstances works it all out for

you. Now I'd like you to meet Ted, a hard worker by day and a fast worker by night. He's not exactly

doing it on his own doorstep but comes pretty close to it by having his wife's best friend as his mistress.

How many men watching this, I wonder? Fancy their wife's best friend.

For me it was every Tuesday and Friday with Shirley. She was a real fine that girl.

Absolutely ideal for a mistress. Smashing to look at, lovely body, nice generous nature,

no kids, no ties, a most important no husband. She was a young widow you see and you could say I

was providing a sort of service to keep her happy as well as me. It was only natural she missed the

old you know what. Not that she made a habit of it, she kept herself exclusively to me you know.

It was an ideal setup. What's more she had her own house so there was no fear of being interrupted.

The alarm told us when to pack up and as long as I left Smartish my wife had no reason to suspect

I was doing anything more than having a harmless game of darts with the boys.

Music

Shirley and I had it worked out to a fine art. No blonde hairs on the coat,

no makeup anywhere.

Music

And most important a clever little trick I picked up from one of the chaps at work.

We always made sure I had a bottle of beer to show I had been drinking.

It's amazing how much you have to think about when you've got to cover your tracks.

I was lucky too that the lads I played darts with were grand sports and would always have been okay

for an alibi if I'd a needed one. In spite of my affair with Shirley my married life with Barbara

was as good as ever. It hadn't suffered at all and I loved her as much as I always had.

Music

We lived just over the road from Shirley and sometimes I was bloody thankful for that short walk I can tell you.

Music

There was another good thing about choosers and friders. Barbara's mother, the old battle axe,

always seemed to come round on those particular nights and I was glad to be out of the way.

We didn't exactly hit it off together, me and my mother anymore.

Music

Barbara

Hello, what's this then? How are you feeling well or something?

I feel fine darling. I just thought I'd turn in early and wait for you.

Don't I get a kiss then?

Did you have a good game?

Yeah, very good thanks.

Do you like my new perfume?

Not bad.

I should hope not. I had a fiver of bottle.

How much?

Five pounds.

That's what I thought you said.

It's supposed to drive men mad.

Well this joker's not going sex mad tonight darling. Perfume or no perfume. He's too bloody tired.

Can you come back tomorrow?

Ted, I'm in a randy mood.

Music

Music

Most blokes would have given their right arm to be in a predicament like mine,

with a mistress like Shirley and a wife as attractive as Barbara.

But a man can only do so much in one night.

Barbara, leave off. Your ends are cold.

But I thought you liked that.

What's the matter with you?

I've been drinking haven't I?

Well you better give it up then.

Give it up?

Drinking.

Yeah, anything you say darling.

Now be a love and let's get some sleep.

I'll never be up for work in the morning.

No.

Music

Music

Music

Music

Music

Dear Mrs. Wilson, I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but I feel it my duty to tell you

that your husband is carrying on with your friend at number 12.

It disgusts me to see you deceived by a woman of such low morals, a friend.

Music

Music

Music

Music

Music

Music

Hello Barbara, come in.

I'm just having a quick snack, like a cup of.

And no thanks.

Don't mind if I carry on eating do you?

No, go ahead.

Have a seat you all week love, harsh head.

That's what I've come to see you about.

Anything wrong then?

He's told me.

Music

He's uh told you what?

He's told me all about you and him, that's what.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

There's no use denying it Shirley.

You've been having it off with him haven't you?

Barbara.

Well it's true isn't it?

You're asking me or telling me?

Don't.

Shelly, shally.

Yes or no?

Well if Ted's told you all about it, what are you asking me for?

Just wanted to make certain that's all.

Now I know.

Oh I'm not going to deny it.

I don't know what to say Barbara love.

If it was anyone but you, I might know what to say.

Oh you must think I'm a right bitch.

Can't understand him.

He gets plenty of sex at home.

It's not only sex Barbara, we love each other.

And he loves you too, I know that.

It's got a funny way of showing it I must say.

Anyway, how could he love two women at once?

It's not all that unusual, lots of men do.

Don't you read the Sunday papers?

All I know is that I love Ted and I don't want to lose him.

Who said anything about losing him?

Did he say he was going to leave you then?

No he didn't to tell the truth.

What made him tell you?

He didn't discuss it with me at all.

It's not a bitch.

I'm not going to lie to you.

I'm not going to lie to you.

I'm not going to lie to you at all.

It's not a bit like Ted.

He's no good Shirley, I can't kid you any longer.

Ted didn't tell me, I bluffed you.

Well what made you suspicious then?

I never suspected anything, until this arrived.

How long has this been going on?

About a year now.

I see.

Darts night I suppose.

The old cow.

Nice name as we've gotten.

Well, what are you going to do now?

I don't know, I honestly don't know.

It's been such a shock.

I can't think straight.

It's funny you know, but I don't feel angry with you.

Barbara, you're sweet, you really are.

I'm sorry, terribly sorry.

But, well since Jack died you and Ted have been so good to me.

Well Ted's a lot like him you know.

Let's say I was only borrowing him.

There must be an answer to all of this.

But I can't think of one at the moment.

Right.

If only I'd known what had been going on while I was at work that day.

I could have prepared myself for a few shocks when I got home.

Shirley was there.

Hello darling.

Nothing unusual in that.

Hello Shirley.

But there was something unusual about the atmosphere.

What's up?

You two had a round or something?

Not exactly a round, no.

I'm pleased to hear it.

Why the funny look?

Well we had rather a problem, but I think we've sorted it out now.

Good.

Ted, Barbara knows all about us.

Hmm, good.

Well you bloody will listen to me.

Shirley, tell him again.

Barbara knows all about us.

Oh, no.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know how to.

How do you mean she knows all about us?

I know all about your affair.

And Shirley didn't tell me if that's what you're thinking.

Well, he'll have to come out sooner or later I suppose.

How did she find out?

Doesn't matter how.

I did.

Well, where do we go from here?

You know I can't stand things going on behind my back.

And I'm not going to divorce you so relax.

I've had a much better idea.

We're lucky you've got such an understanding wife, Ted.

Just wait till you hear this.

Shirley's going to come and live here with us.

Geez, what?

If you're going to be unfaithful, I'd rather you did it here.

You can't be serious.

Well, I'm serious all right.

It's the only way.

So you'd better get used to having both of us around from now on.

Well, don't I get a say in this?

No, you bloody won't, don't.

You started all this.

You're bleeding mad.

The pair of you.

He'll have us all in the Sunday papers.

It won't work.

It's not right.

It's out of the question.

Needless to say, they got their own way.

And Shirley moved in with us the very next morning.

Time to discover

the truth

to the unknown

in dreams uncovered

no one's alone.

Oddly enough, it worked out better than I'd expected.

The girls were the best of friends.

And they seemed to really enjoy fussing over me and keeping me happy.

No one's in play

when no one's in need.

Everyone's gaming.

How lucky can we be?

Being together

working it out

making it easy

when three goes into one.

No one's in play

when no one's in need.

Everyone's gaming.

How lucky can we be?

It goes without saying

that I thoroughly enjoyed keeping them happy too.

Especially on my birthday

when the girls worked out a special treat.

I'm not going to be happy.

I'm going to be happy.

I'm going to be happy when the girls worked out a special treat for me.

Being together

working it out

making it easy

when three goes into one.

Everyone's gaming.

How lucky can we be?

How lucky can we be?

What do you mean she lives here?

She's part of the family now.

I don't understand.

She lives here with me and Ted.

You mean she's a lodger?

Well, yes, sort of.

What do you think? It's wise.

I mean, how do you know the woman about the house?

I know what I'm doing.

Well, I'm not so sure.

She's a very attractive...

She's a very attractive woman, Barbara.

You know what men are.

I think you're asking for trouble.

Look, Mum, I know you won't understand this.

But she's Ted's mistress.

She's what?

Ted's mistress.

His girlfriend.

You know the other woman.

Oh, you poor thing.

Well, I always knew he was no good.

Seems I was right.

But you don't have to put up with that.

You can come and stay with me until you get the divorce.

You are getting one, I hope.

Steady on, Mum. It's not quite like you think.

What is it like, then?

If you give me a chance, I'll explain.

I think perhaps you'd better.

Six months ago, I found out Ted was having an affair with Shirley,

so I went over and confronted her about it.

Well, to cut a long story short,

rather than break up our friendship and my marriage,

we came to this arrangement.

You mean to say you approve?

Of course I approve.

It was my idea in the first place.

I realize it's a bit unconventional,

but it does work, really.

Excuse me.

What about...

You know what?

Do you mean sex, Mum?

Well, yes.

That's no problem. We take it in turns.

Oh, really?

Oh, don't be so stuffy, Mum.

Well, I think it's absolutely disgusting.

I've never heard anything like it.

What other people think?

We don't care what people think. It's what we think that matters.

I suppose it doesn't matter what I think. I'm only your mother.

Your father will turn in his grave.

Look, Mum, a lot of married people have problems,

but they don't face them. We have.

And what's more, we've done something positive about them.

So what's so terrible about that?

How do you know he won't leave you and run off with her?

You still don't understand, do you?

That's why she's here. Ted's perfectly happy the way things are.

All right, then.

Suppose he gets involved with another woman.

You're going to invite her to live here as well?

Don't be stupid, Mum. Ted's not like that.

You'll never convince me of that, my girl.

Look, take my advice and get that woman out of your house quick.

I can see nothing but trouble.

I don't know what the world's coming to.

Calm down for goodness' sake.

I'm not a one-for-interfering Barbara,

but I'm telling you that you won't see me in this house again

until you come to your senses.

Mark my words, you'll live to regret this.

What was that all about?

For months, the arrangement worked like a charm.

Life was much more peaceful without the old battleaxe poking her nose in everything.

Then one day, suddenly, out of the blue came the crunch.

I'm pregnant.

Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to have a baby.

Do you mean I'm going to be a father?

How about that, then? Me, a dad?

What does that make me, then?

Well, you'll be a mum, too. We can share him.

You don't mind, do you, Dad?

Well, I mind.

We agreed no babies right at the start,

me not being able to have any.

I'm sorry, I...

But you've broken that agreement, Shirley.

You'll have to go.

Well, if that's the way you feel, I'll go now.

I thought you'd be pleased.

I am pleased for you, but it's not fair on me, is it?

You can stay until the baby arrives and then you'll have to go.

Now, steady on you two.

Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it?

We don't want to break up the happy home, do we?

We'll work something out.

As it happens, things did work out beautifully.

It couldn't have been better if I'd planned it myself.

You've got to hand it to Shirley.

She's a marvel, that girl.

You know what she did?

She had the baby girl she'd always wanted, that's what.

And she also had a baby boy as well.

She presented that baby boy to Barbara straight away.

Talk about two proud mums, not to mention one proud Dad.

So, you see, things can work out if fate's on your side.

So take a tip from me, fellas.

If you've got a problem with the other woman,

try introducing it to the wife.

You never know, you might have my luck.

By the way, can you think of a better way of getting rid of your mother-in-law?

No, I can't.

Now, give it some thought.

I'm glad to say you're going to eat.

Is she one dream?

She's got time to contemplate.

Can she tell by looking in your eyes

when you finally get home?

Don't you guess that you've been to see

the other woman?

She's a danger to your life.

Whatever you may do,

see the other woman what you do.