Original subtitles

Life stands still during the day when we

earn our bread in this square world.

But the nights, the nights are special in

the turned on world of smoke and flesh.

Hey man, what happened with that chick last

night?

Get in?

Get in?

Man, all I got in was trouble.

Trouble with my bike, trouble with the fuzz,

trouble with some smart ass beware.

What happened?

The first this bitch shows up, she's wearing

this tight ass skirt.

She can't throw her leg over the wheel

without exposing more than enough to get his

boat busted for an even exposure.

So I finally square the chick away, see,

by setting her side saddle on the bike.

We take off down south.

Come on, come on, Romeo.

Shoot the shot.

The longer I take to shoot, the longer

you get to keep your money, right?

Cock-eye.

Yeah, man.

Soon be over.

So anyway, I'm pulling up to this stoplight,

see, and I start to lose the wheel

on the wet cobblestone.

Why don't you make yourself comfy, chick?

You want a pillow?

Where was I?

You were laying in the street.

Very funny, very funny.

So there I am, see, I'm sitting on

the street with 500 pounds of Harley on

me.

The chick's screaming her head off.

John Lawson.

So they start to do a number on

me.

With the motor number, my license, registration, all

that.

To top it off, they're putting the make

on the chick.

Wow, what a big pair she had.

Bigger than you'd think.

You know, she slid with the cops after

finding out my wheel was out of commission.

Man, I'd like to run into her again.

Just a common courtesy.

Now, dear, you sit right there while I

fix you up with some sheer delight.

I can't wait.

If when I die, I could take with

me one personal treasure, this would be it.

Butterburkel ice cream.

That wouldn't be very practical where you're going.

Don't you think it would melt rather quickly?

Flattery will get you no more than your

share, dear.

Spoons, spoons, I've got to get the spoons.

Spoons, spoons, spoons.

Spoons, spoons, spoons.

I've got to get some spoons.

Spoons, spoons, spoons.

And who are you going to eat, you

big bad wolf?

Butterburkel, dear.

I've got to scot me some butterburkel.

Butter what?

Brickle.

Butterbrickle.

Here, baby, now let's see who gets to

the bottom first.

Here goes another ten pounds.

Well, what have we got here?

We've got the butterbrickle.

I wonder if someone would get beaten to

it.

That's wild.

There's something missing.

In mine.

Hold it, hold it.

Stop the production, I have here the missing

link.

In mine.

You know, I think the cream is better

than the ice cream.

So you really come to these parties to

do research and research now, huh?

Yeah, it's a matter of fact that I

was wondering if you might not be interested

in helping us.

Me?

I haven't even graduated high school.

The education you need to assist me you

don't learn in a classroom.

You see, what I'm primarily interested in is

something all us animals have at birth.

Sexual drives.

Look, Buster, if you're proposing what I think

you're proposing, forget about it.

Because I'm still old fashioned enough to still

like women.

Oh, no, young man, you misunderstand me.

Not me, but my wife, Charlotte.

Hold on a second, let me get one

thing straight.

You mean Charlotte and me?

Yeah, now sit down and I'll elaborate.

When Charlotte and I were first married, we

had a very happy and normal sex life.

And then I developed a very serious flangular

condition.

An operation followed.

Well, then I discovered that I wasn't able

to fulfill my husbandly duties.

You know what I mean?

So we worked out a solution that would

be agreeable to both of us.

Walter lets me have relations with a partner

of my choice.

And I let him watch.

And he enjoys it.

He takes notes for his novels.

And a few pictures for the family album?

Sounds like a typical well-adjusted family to

me.

Care to demonstrate your virility for the purposes

of your studies?

Certainly.

Why not?

But on one condition.

You look and don't touch my stuff.

Agreed.

I'll go out and get my thing.

I'm flat broke.

Somebody loan me a buck?

Don't look at me, baby.

How about you, Skip?

Hey, not a chance, man.

Why don't you go out and steal some

hubcaps?

There's no market for hubcaps anymore.

So steal some motorcycles.

Maybe Ben will buy some parts for his

wheel.

That's an idea.

How about it?

Hey, look, we'll talk about it later.

Hey, let's go pick up Stubby.

Maybe he can get the old man's car.

What happened to him anyway?

He was supposed to be out of it.

He had a date with some chick.

Okay, you

won that one.

Let's try it again.

Hey, are you kidding me?

You're much too easy.

Anybody else care to take on the world's

champ?

I'll take your own champ.

We should be working together, honey, not against.

What's the matter?

Afraid I'll embarrass you?

Don't underestimate me.

I'll tell you what.

Seeing that there's a chance that you could

possibly embarrass me, why not give me the

chance to make you blush?

What do you have in mind?

Just a bit.

Oh.

Whoever loses the race has to take off

an article of clothing.

Now, we'll keep on playing until either one

of us is in his or her briefcase.

Sort of a Grand Prix strip.

You groovy chicks are looking for an excuse

to take your clothes off anyhow.

I get the Jaguar.

Anything your little old heart desires, honey.

Yay!

Just to show you my heart's in the

right place.

Take your choice.

That's mighty sporting of you, darling.

Let's start with the skirt.

You two relax and just enjoy yourselves.

I'll sit over here and take some notes.

And an occasional photo.

I hope the flash bulbs don't disrupt the

mood.

Now you've got me at a disadvantage.

How's that?

How can I concentrate on a game with

those things staring me in the face?

On with the race, darling.

Now that looks good enough to eat.

I thought that was the idea.

I'm not talking about the cream, baby.

The cream will do for starters.

Then, who knows?

Hey, stubby.

Stop.

What's wrong, chick?

There's a wheel back there.

I want to go get it.

Bring it home with me.

Are you out of your head?

You're going to ride a hot wheel from

here all the way back down to your

place?

Yeah.

You must be really hard up for Joe

to do a stupid thing like that.

No sweat.

Call it.

Someone's coming.

Relax.

This should be soon.

Huh?

Guess you can make it.

That's her.

Man, that's the chick that left me laying

in the street.

So what?

Hey, I owe that chick something.

Look, let's sniff around.

Maybe we can find some action, huh?

What about the wheel?

Screw the wheel.

I'd rather have an hour with her.

Huh?

Yes.

Did you have much trouble getting out of

the family compound?

Just a little bit.

Well, I've got a reward for you.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Get out of the way, get out of

the way.

Do you see what I'm seeing?

Hey.

That looks like one wild birdie.

Ha ha.

Hey, is he that chick anywhere?

No.

Maybe she's upstairs.

Let's get Stubby and Chick and see if,

uh, we can let ourselves in.

Yeah.

Boy, these fish sure do multiply quickly.

What else do they have to do?

You know, I've often wondered and thought about

what it would be like to be one

of those.

Have you come to any conclusions?

Oh, yeah.

Just that people, like fish, are always preoccupied

with feeding their faces and sex.

You make it sound so cold.

Well, it is when you're alive.

Only we humans use a gimmick called emotion

to cover it up.

Hey, speaking of emotion, why don't you and

I work up a little bit?

Why don't you make it with one of

the fish?

Well, I would, only I can't hold my

breath that long.

You'll do.

How could that be?

Would you believe a Girl Scout selling cookies?

There's nothing tastier than a Girl Scout's cookie.

Be right back.

Something I

can do for you guys?

Yeah, Sue and I just had a party.

Yes.

Oh, yeah?

She did?

Yeah, for Cousin.

She said if you were in the neighborhood,

we should stop in.

Cousin?

Uh, these are some friends of Sue's.

This is...

Skip.

Hey.

Stanley.

Stanley.

My friends call me Stompy.

Chip.

Look, you all introduce yourselves.

Make yourselves at home.

Whose is in there?

That's my finished business upstairs.

Are you buying cookies?

No.

But I think I brought myself some trouble.

What do you mean?

I just let four characters in downstairs, one

of which says he's your cousin.

My cousin?

Yeah.

He says his name is Babe.

I don't have a cousin named Babe.

You do now.

Wait a minute.

Is he kind of skinny and short with

a beard?

Yeah, that's him.

But if he's not your cousin, who is

he?

Some guy who gave me a ride on

his motorcycle.

Well, is he cool or what?

He's probably mad at me.

I ran out on him.

Wow.

Too much.

Look, I invite some friends over here to

smoke some pot and have a little fun,

and I might end up with a brawl

on my hands.

How did they get here?

Look, I don't know.

They showed up right after you did, though.

Then they must have followed me.

Yeah, probably.

Look, I'll hide you upstairs in the attic

till I figure out a way to get

rid of them.

Okay.

I still haven't seen that chick yet.

I think I ought to go look for

her.

Hey, what for, man?

Hang in down here, have some fun.

Hey, come on.

Hey, she's my boy.

Hey, she's my boy.

Hold it.

Look, I think we've got bad friends who're

super eager to hurt us.

Well, let's throw them out.

No, no, we can't do that.

It'll cost too much noise and some nose

-in-the-air and the whole apartment will

get busted.

I've got a better idea.

Do you have any RSD cubes on you?

You, my friend, are an evil man.

I'll cut the acid.

Do you have any acid?

They're downstairs in my jacket.

Hey, how are you going to fit it

to that?

No, just to the big one, the leader,

the one they call Skin.

Go downstairs and get me some.

It's an anesthetic, and you need to be

back in the bathroom.

Give my regards.

Who's there?

It's me, Turk, Lady Godiva.

I have your clothes.

Can I come in if I promise not

to look?

I don't know what you have in mind,

but I guess so.

It's your house anyway.

Hey, how are you going to fit it

to him?

I'll show you.

Now, all you have to do is make

sure he's straight with that thing so I

can slip it to him.

Oh, where am I?

I guess you're Caboose.

What are you two up to anyway?

I'm just going to send somebody on a

little trip.

You're going to send somebody on a little

trip?

Yeah.

Hey, bring me some of that cold wine,

Turk.

Wine?

Man, you must have a cast iron stomach

for a scotch without wine.

I'll do up some Coke.

Coke?

That's a great badge you've got here.

How'd you like it?

That's a head.

Safety.

Everything's safety.

Caboose.

Caboose.

Rod.

Ha!

There he is.

Where'd she go?

She said she'd be here.

Oh, she's up in the johns.

You know those drawers.

They get in front of the mirror.

Hey, why don't you let me open that

for you?

I've got a corkscrew outside.

Who belongs to the whale out front?

That's a twin carburetor job.

It's got a lot more power.

Ah, this is real good wine.

Hey.

Chip.

You want to take me on in that

game?

Hey.

Play.

Sure.

Sure, Skip.

Where's Mark?

Here, man.

No.

Me, Ed.

I want his.

Huh?

Depth.

Dull.

Or both.

Put the cars on the track.

Well, let's...

That's some wicked wine.

What are you all doing?

Stop stealing.

Stop stealing!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop it!

All right, all right.

Sue in there?

You want to maybe, like, look in the

medicine cabinet or something?

Hello, Sue, baby.

No, stop!

Stop!

What the hell is happening to me?

Hey!

What the hell's the word, Jeff?

Skip, he's off his rocker.

What are you talking about?

He's screaming something about dying.

Come on, man, we have to get him

out of here.

All right, all right.

Look, baby.

You're lucked out this time.

Then I'll get you again, see?

Calm down, baby.

Calm down.

Calm down.

What seems to be their service?

I think it's all over now.

I'm sorry, babe.

Me too.

Sorry about what?

What's going on here?

Somebody on a bad trip, Walter.

I don't know what to say.

He didn't get anything but a heart attack.

It had me worried.

What happened to make the least of it?

Oh, it's just a case of...

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!