Original subtitles

What's up?

Come on get it done faster come out into the light my child You come over

here in the dark and this might go a little quicker Not gonna get me spend

any more time in the dark anymore during this lifetime it takes a lot of work

to Decisions stay out here Get a little

God's vitamin D on you

Who broke the tip of that, uh, on that oil refill?

Did you break that?

Oh, it was the Mexican.

The Mexican would have said something, don't you think?

No, I don't. Did you break it and just not tell anybody you broke it? Now

you're blaming it on the Mexican? Don't be an ass.

So the first 60 years they weren't so hot. I said the most famous paramilitary

force to come out in the last hundred years was an Irish paramilitary force.

You've never heard of the IRA?

What age are you? I've heard of the Green Berets.

The IRA was just Irish killing Irish, wasn't it?

Not exactly.

They went somewhere?

That's all we hear about here is Irish killing Irish. I'm just waiting for a

car to pull in here so I can avoid the history lesson.

I mean, this is... Over here, we don't... You know, they don't say, well,

we're going to send the IRA in. We send the Green Berets in.

First of all, what I'm saying, paramilitary, we're not talking about a

regular military. We're talking about a guerrilla force, right?

Well, they don't send them out, though, right? They can't send the guerrillas

out.

No, they don't send them into the the the conflicts that We started out

talking about that's true. Yeah I'm just trying to keep up with you. Your brain

is lightning fast this morning But if you want it so I

don't understand that So you got a reputation, but it's not necessarily for

helping other people out

Why am I even talking to you about this shit at this hour in the morning?

Is there some work to do or something?

Is Irish Marines?

I mean, how tough can an Irishman be?

Don't worry about it.

Okay, what would you like?

Well, I'd really like something with custard in it. What's in those custards

right there? Is there really custard in there?

There's lemon, actually.

In those?

Lemon? Yeah.

Yeah, donuts.

Yeah. Okay, how about in the cherry? What's in the cherry?

This is when we begin to understand the rule of chaos.

It looks infected, doesn't it?

It's disgusting.

Some people like lemon.

But if some people like lemon, then why is there 40 lemons here and none of the

yellow custard?

They just weren't here today.

Is there anyone with cinnamon? What are those? Oh, no, those. Give me one of

those cinnamon, please.

Yeah, that'll be fine.

Yeah.

Thank you.

In the morning, it's all organized.

They have everything that they say they have.

What do you expect?

It's not late afternoon food.

That's a daily routine, that little song and dance to get a donut?

No, I normally don't come in here at this time. I just thought we could have

a little Male bonding.

92 Foxtrot, a petroleum supply specialist.

Petroleum... What's that?

Refueling?

More or less.

Where? In Iraq?

Kandahar. Know where that is? In Afghanistan?

Mm-hmm.

We feed the juice into the, uh...

Into the machine.

Weapons?

You know, we maintain, we repair supply lines, tactical storage, bulk

storage,

valves, hoses, pipelines, everything.

For what machines?

I was attached to an airborne battalion, so I was...

Mostly operating with Blackhawks, Apaches, and attack helicopters.

How did you get in... So you were in our military?

Army? Army?

National Guard.

National Guard?

Hmm. How did you get to be in our Army?

Same as anybody else.

You can just do it? Basic education.

Meet the moral legal standards.

I don't know if you'd make it, but... Uh-huh.

How long were you over there?

12 months.

That's it, 12 months?

On an airfield.

Where was the airfield? In like... Kandahar.

Was that near lines?

Near front lines?

No, it was non-combat.

I went in non-combat. That's what that MOS is.

It's non-combat.

How is that non-combat?

Well, it's technically non-combat.

You were in Kandahar in the last year, two years.

And you were serving in the military. That's kind of combat, isn't it?

Well, you have to make a distinction between being at war and being in

combat. They're two different things.

What's the difference?

Is it not self-evident?

Some people go out and fight on the front line, shoot guns, and some people

keep them supplied. I'm part of the supply line.

By extension, you're in combat, though.

It's a sense of it. You've got the sense of being in combat, right?

I mean, it's a distinction.

I refuel people so they'd come back, so they'd make it home. You were refueling

people so they would...

do a little human destruction as well, right?

But we do it to save people.

Save who?

Which is to say I believed in the mission.

Why would you look at it as saving when the reason you're there, the

reason we're there is not to save?

Of course it is.

Well, if it was to save him, we would just stay over here, right?

So the reason you go over there is to... is to kill a certain group of people.

That's not the end.

That's not the... That's the means to the end.

Right, but that's what you're doing on a daily basis.

That's what... Yeah, that's the operation, obviously. We're trying to

route out those guys.

Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out why you're so weepy.

Yeah. What's happening?

Fine.

All groovy?

Fine.

Hey, you alright?

Yeah, you're fine.

Got your keys?

No. Huh?

Got your keys?

Yeah.

Drive

slow

and steady.

Seatbelt. Got it.

And how about coffee in the morning?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

Good.

Hey, man, you all right?

Mm-hmm.

Something's... Something's bothering you from... from the war?

No, no, it's not that.

No, I... I liked it there.

I liked being in there.

Hey buddy.

How you doing?

I'm alright.

Thanks.

You alright?

Yeah.

You doing alright?

Cheers.

I'm going to prescribe you a high-potency benzodiazepine.

I'm going to give you a prescription for that. Is that all right with you?

Yeah, if you think that's what it's going to take, then I'm going to try it.

353.

Thanks.

What about the red? You like the red?

You see

the flame on the building?

Yeah, I see that. That's the heat.

See that? It looks like water.

Yeah, it looks like water.

But that fire, I know, the smoke looks like water.

Who played you was in?

Madison will show me how to do that.

Oh, she did?

Uh-huh.

What'd she show you?

Don't hit the fire.

Oh, she taught you how to stand on your head.

Uh-huh.

One, two, three, four, five. Let me see.

Yeah.

Can I help you?

Excuse me, can I help you?

You looking for Sean?

You all right, man?

Can you hear me?

Excuse me.

Need some help?

What are you doing here?

Hey, Sean. How you doing?

Hey.

Know this guy?

Yeah, I work with this guy.

Okay. Walking around the house like you're trying to break in or something.

I didn't know what was going on.

I don't know what he's doing here.

What are you doing here? Let's go.

After your cup of tea or something?

No, I don't think. I was just worried about what he was doing around here.

Did you just follow him the whole way around?

Yeah.

Yeah, he looked in through about every window.

Hey, thanks for looking out, man.

Appreciate it. You're welcome. Anytime.

Appreciate it. Neighbors fun, yeah.

Feel very good.

You woke me.

That's not very optimistic of you, a single bed in there.

I only just got here. I've only been here a few weeks.

Well, like I say, it's the seed you plant today that is your future.

Tell me about this guy, Walt Whitman.

Say something he said.

Captain my captain.

Oh, yeah, I've seen that in the movie Secular Saint yeah,

it looks like it's like He's supposed to look like a saint or like a monk or like

a lot of people say oh That's what God looks like We can't know what God looks

like It's something you can be sure of that's what I like to look on man

I like to look on woman, but with the chaste eye.

I understand what you mean when you say man. I can see how you're dressed.

Once you get outside of a certain book, there's no stopping it, you know? You

can just keep going and going and going.

That's what's so wonderful about it, surely.

No, I guess I'd have to disagree with you there.

The wonderful thing is to have your life and your world and your focus condensed

to one thing, and you just keep zeroing in, zeroing in.

You'll never figure out meaning, never figure out where you're going if you

just keep looking at a new place all the time.

When there's one place, there's one place that you can look, and you can

look forever.

When you don't know where you're going, all roads lead you there, that's for

sure.

All roads are worth walking.

But you can't walk all roads, so there has to be a worthlessness to some of

them.

But the Bible, though, you got a Humvee, you don't have to walk.

Yeah, I've ridden in a Humvee and I've walked.

I know which one I prefer.

Refill, take about like three minutes and we'll go back out.

Hey my teammate surrendered.

That's why I need to surrender.

Not on my team.

Amen.

Let's do a little grace.

Oh, excuse me.

Amen. Amen.

Beautiful. Thank you, brother.

Have any of y'all ever paintballed with a woman?

Me neither.

I know a couple I think would be good.

I don't know if I could do it, shoot a woman.

Well, I could.

It's legal.

So we'll get you to come out again, huh?

Yeah, that'd be nice.

You know what kind of shape you gotta be in.

You guys are pretty good on the hold, aren't you?

It's fine, man.

You really feel what it's all about out there, you know?

In the woods.

Play a whole little song, Steve.

Ricky was saying Steve's friends got married on that island.

Hey,

Walt. Hey, Sean. How are you, man? You want to come in?

No.

My mom got this cat, and the

cat's not doing too good, and we got the kids.

And we don't want the cat to get sick or die around the kids.

I got cat allergies.

Well, are you sure?

Because I really need someone to take the cat in.

I never cared for a living thing, Walt.

Left front, left rear.

Put your nuts back on, boy.

Screw her. Screw her. Harder. Harder. Get the nuts out your hand and onto the

car.

Tighten it up. Tell me when we're ready for this one.

We're good.

Huh? We're good for the next one. Good for the next one?

Come on, come on.

I'm hungry. Aren't you hungry?

Didn't you work up an appetite?

Some minors.

Huh? You got any minors?

Yeah, I'm walking on the outside of the street. I'm supposed to let the lady

walk on the inside of the street, and I'm walking on the outside of the

street.

I was raised a gentleman.

Against all odds.

Thank you Thank you

You know, totally slipped my mind to say grace today. Yeah.

That, I'm afraid, is the kind of Christian I

am sometimes.

It's good.

You know, the grace I remember from when we were kids was really simple.

Thanks be to God. God bless the cook.

I'm sure, you know, I feel pretty right.

But, you know, in the twinkling of an eye, you never know.

Right there, right there, right here at lunch.

Mouthful of BLT.

No grace. Not the way I want to go. Not the way.

You know, H. St. Peter.

Because It's important, you know it is important to be ready at all

times

You

know then I thought like

you know who came like a flash like it's not

It's not like a global end, you know, a global apocalypse, because that

certainly will occur.

And that's when the most people will receive

judgment at once. But every man receives judgment,

you know, at our personal end.

the prophecies that talk about wars and rumors of wars.

People say, well, that was true then. That was true 2,000 years ago. It was

true 500 years ago. It was true 25 years ago. It was true last year.

Yeah, it was. It is.

It is true.

And it always is going to be true. And that's why it's a sign to each

individual person that

that the end time is coming, you know, and it's a reminder,

it's a warning sign, a warning sign, a warning sign for each of us as we go

through our day.

We're told what the signs are and the signs are there, which is to say that at

any moment that twinkling of an eye is going to, you know, take us down.

I'm working on a little project that

I want to share

with you.

I'm making you a tape of my favorite book.

And it's longer than I thought. In the Bible, you know, it's like, it doesn't

look like it's anything.

This is 90 minutes.

It's not all on here.

It's John.

This is 1 through 8 1⁄2, and then it ends. I flip the tape over, and this is

8 1⁄2 through 17 1⁄2. There's still a little more, but... You

know... I have a love for you, you know?

And so to hear... And I want you...

You know, I want you to be right.

It's important to me that you are right.

So I hope you have a tape player.

Do you have a tape player? I do. Yeah.

Good.

Well, then I hope that you can hear in there, you know, care and concern and

love because I'm trying to transmit to you.

a degree,

an amount of love, but inherent in the words that I'm reading is all

the love in the world.

And it's coming from Jesus Christ and it's coming from God.

Well, I hope that this outmoded technology is strong enough to handle

all that love and all that sentiment.

Anyway, that's for you. Thank you.

It's $2 for the tape, though.

What's walking?

Look.

That ain't walking, I'll tell you that.

If you stop on one of your feet, then you're not walking. It's just balancing,

balancing, balancing.

It's not... It's not its own thing.

It's funny if you watch people walk in the mall and you just think, they're

like, stick, stick.

It's like most things, it doesn't stand up to that much scrutiny.

Gospel according to John, chapter 1.

Before the world was created, the Word already existed.

He was with God and he was the same as God.

From the very beginning, the Word was with God.

And John gave this testimony.

i saw the spirit come down like a dove from heaven and stay on him i still did

not know that he was the one but god who sent me to baptize with water had said

to me you will see the spirit come down and stay on a man he is the one

who baptizes with the holy spirit i have seen it said john and i tell you that he

is the son of god

The next day John was standing there again with two of his disciples when he

saw Jesus walking by.

There is the Lamb of God, he said.

So they went with him and saw where he lived and spent the rest

of that day with him.

One of them was Andrew, Simon Peter's brother.

At once he found his brother Simon and told him, We have found the Messiah.

Then he took Simon to Jesus.

Jesus looked at him and said, Your name is Simon, son of John, but you will be

called Cephas.

you

Let me pray real quick. Father, thank you for your word. It is a light unto

our path.

It is the truth that will set us free.

And we ask God tonight that we listen to you and Holy Spirit, reveal more of your

truth through my word tonight that you have given me. In Jesus' name, amen.

to be set apart for holy use or to consecrate yourself unto the Lord.

Justification is that position of being declared righteous before God. We just

read Romans 4, 5, but to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that

justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.

We also read last week Romans 5, 9, much more than being now justified by his

blood, we should be saved from wrath through him.

Justification is being declared righteous in the eyes of God.

Sanctification is the growth in the life of a Christian in holiness,

understanding, intent, thought, action, etc., etc.

When a Christian understands the difference between justification and

sanctification, well then they can understand the difference between what

saves a person and what doesn't save a person.

We read several scriptures last week that teach us how we are justified.

Romans 4 and 3.

For what sayeth the scripture, Abraham believed God and it was counted unto him

for righteousness.

Romans 5.1, therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God.

Galatians 2.16, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law,

but by the faith of Jesus Christ.

The Bible teaches us that we are justified by God and declared righteous

before him, not by keeping the law or by works, but by what?

Faith in Jesus Christ.

Righteousness. is not earned or retained by any effort of the person.

Being justified is based completely and solely upon Jesus' sacrifice on the

cross. No works are necessary whatsoever to obtain justification.

If works were involved, then it wouldn't be a gift.

And the Bible says, for by grace are you saved through faith. It is a gift of

God, not of works. I don't know any other human being.

that is like him.

There's only one Jesus.

And I love it. Don't you?

Yeah. Come on.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Make us truly thankful for these and our many blessings.

These things we ask in thy name.

Amen.

It's showtime.

Just like to have both you and I here to share this

extravagant meal.

It's lovely to be here. I appreciate the invite very much. We had a lovely

service today.

brought me to his church.

Oh.

You been going a lot lately?

Yeah, very regularly.

At least once a week.

That's good.

Always good to be on the good side of the man upstairs.

Yes, sir.

The congregation at that church likes it.

a mixture of type music, like some of your more, I won't say classical, but

new classics, and then some like modern day, and then some like the old time

hymns. Right, right.

The spirituals, whatever, things of that nature.

What about yourself? What do you like? I like pretty much the old time and

spirituals.

So these will be songs from the fields and such?

songs that were written in earlier times yeah i think so a lot of them back uh

probably some of them weren't even written they were kind of handed down i

guess and somewhere along the way they got written right right but uh oh maybe

we get to sing or harmonize something after we beat our face oh that'd be

lovely that'd be lovely it's reasonably peaceful where i was and because of the

technical job that i do well protected

Pretty well protected, you know, so it was good from that point of view.

Yeah, no, there was time to do some reading and thinking and talking and,

you know, I met some people out there who, you know, showed me and taught

me things I'd never come across before, you know, so it was good.

Did you get scared much?

No, not really, no.

I wasn't scared there much.

I wasn't.

I mean, you're aware of being at this sort of historic

moment of being part of something historic that the whole world is

watching.

I tried one of these songs. It's one of my favorites.

And since you don't sing, Sean, maybe I might join in, but

I don't know.

Take My Hand, Precious Lord.

Do you remember that one? Oh, yeah, of course.

Okay. Do you know that one? I don't. No? Okay. I recognize that one when it

starts.

Okay.

Precious Lord, take my hand.

Lead me on.

Let me stand.

I am tired.

I am weak.

Through the storm, through the night, lead me

on to the light.

Take my hand, precious Lord,

lead me home.

Precious Lord, take my hand.

me stand I am tired I am

weak Lord I'm worn through

the storm

Gracious Lord.

He's resting.

He'll be sleeping.

No time.

He's a nice man.

That's the truth. Yeah.

He made me feel at home.

Reminded me of home, actually. Singing. It's beautiful.

Nice.

Yeah.

It amazes me that with all the things that he could perceive as strikes

against him, that he can still give in that way.

He's taken his hardships, I guess, and dealt with them in a very

admirable way, very humble.

I think he...

He's a very good example in that way, in the way that it seems as if he...

It's like an imitation of

Christ, like carrying your burdens as

if they're blessings almost. It seems like it's crazy.

But yeah, the humility.

Hey, take your shoes and socks off.

I'm pretty comfy.

No, no.

Just take them off.

Know what's coming?

You don't have to do that.

Will you listen to what I was just talking about?

Look, your socks don't even match.

Give me this foot, please.

Please, raise it up.

I'm doing all the work. You don't have any reason to complain here.

Okay, rise up.

Gimme this one.

Yeah, I'm gonna stay over here.

So, I don't know, I'm actually about ready for bed.

But I'm very grateful that you came over.

It was a good day.

Okay, here's your change in receipt.

Here's the phenobarbital. It's going to be one tablet twice a day, and if it's

not working or something's wrong, definitely give us a call, okay?

How do these days, how do they seem to you?

These days here at our shop here?

These days in your life, like, do you feel like you're in a

transitional moment?

Uh-huh.

Do you feel like you're in a holding pattern?

I haven't really settled since I came back, you know.

Spent that time down in Virginia Beach and just

not settled.

Do you feel scared?

Between you and me?

Yeah. Between you and me.

My whole fucking life.

When you know you don't have to feel scared.

You don't have to feel scared, man.

When I was a kid, a priest came to the school and he talked

about the Lord's Prayer.

Yeah. He gave us all a prayer card, a picture of Jesus on it.

I was kind of a pious kid.

Took it home.

I taped it on the side of my bed.

I would say the Lord's Prayer every night.

Later in the school year, he came back again.

He said, the Hail Holy Queen, you know this prayer?

Hail Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, hail our life, our sweetness, our hope.

In the end, he gave us a prayer card.

This one had Our Lady on it.

I took it home and I put it beside the other one.

And then every night I would pray the Our Lord's Prayer and then I would pray

the Hail Holy Queen.

Right.

But I would look at these pictures while I did it. Yeah. And one night after,

I realized it was the same face.

What do you mean it was the same face?

They were the same face.

Jesus' face was a woman's face with a beard on it. It was the same face.

And I knew they were fucking with me, you know?

On some level, I didn't even understand. I don't even understand it now.

I don't trust the man.

who comes with the message.

This thing that looks so foreign and strange to you, scary,

it's simple.

It's salvation and it's simple.

If you look at this side, look at this side

of salvation, you see that there's a place for you already. There's a place

for you waiting.

And it's easy.

Man, being saved is easy.

Because there's people waiting by that place that's made for you.

And they know how to love you.

And God is waiting for your love with,

man, bucket loads of love. He's just ready to pour it on you.

I'm waiting for you to be saved.

That incident at work last week was attacks.

I mean, I've had those since I was a teenager.

It's not just anxiety, it's like a complete loss of self.

You're so disoriented, you're so frightened, so completely lost.

And I've carried that with me all this...

my whole life, and it's become who I am.

My burden is who I am. It defines me.

It makes my decisions for me.

You know, and I realized last week I went to a doctor for the first time, and

he told me, he just looked at me like another patient, not like a fucking

monster, and said, benzodiazepine, you know.

I mean, he read my symptoms to me.

There was no mystery.

What's benzodiazepine?

It's a chemical. It's a drug.

He gave you the drug?

Mm-hmm.

And you take it?

Describing symptoms, that's... That's not magic.

I can describe the symptoms to you. It sounded like magic to my ear.

Because he understood what I... He understood how to turn you off.

No. No, he heard my burden.

He knew what it was.

I don't want... You don't... It's like... It's not that... The pills are

something that... It keeps you from moving forward. It keeps you... It

stops... Your feet from putting one in front of the other. What do you know

about it? You don't know shit. What do you mean I don't know about it? I'm

sitting right here. You don't even know the name of it. One minute ago you

didn't know the name of it and now you're going to tell me what it does.

You don't know. I've heard of these other ones. I've heard of other ones.

You don't know. I'm sorry.

It's... I

can

see you at this.

Pivotal point.

And you're going to fall one way or the other.

And what I'm here for is to be sure that you fall into... No, I'm not going to

fall. I'm not going to fall, Ike. I'm not going to fall anymore. Good, that's

what I want to hear. Because you're going to rise. I'm not going to fall.

I'm going to choose.

I'm going to choose. Yes. With my eyes open. With your eyes open, exactly. Not

clouded by a magic... I'm done with the hocus pocus.

This is clear.

It says, I understand this, and that's how I'm going to move. That's how I'm

going to go forward.

I understand it. That's not going forward.

You saved the world. I got to go.

I'm not saving the world. I got to go.

Man, right now, you're at a very critical moment in your life.

Extremely critical.

Very, very important moment in your life. You're at the tipping point.

You don't have to be, you say, since you were a teenager. And what happened

before then? Before then, you were clear, and you were clean, and you were

innocent.

And you can clean yourself again. I haven't got time for this.

You got time.

I've got time. I love you. I've got time. Jesus loves you. You have time.

All right. Take this, huh? Take this.

Yeah. Right?

All right.

This is...

I've said some of these things. I've felt some of these things.

This is an exciting time.

This is a wonderful time, a beautiful time, a glorious time for you.

This is your time.

There's something waiting for you.

Through baptism... I gotta go, man. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

I gotta go.

Say goodbye.

Keep your eyes

I think it's not a running nose.

When did Whitman die?

I'm not even sure.

I could look at my book.

How do you go back in time?

I don't know how you link up.

It's kind of difficult.

You said damn!

No word from Ike this morning?

No, ain't heard nothing out of Ike, man.

That's unlike him too.

Yeah, yeah, he'd usually call in. Yeah, I don't know what's up with that.

Quiet around work today.

Ever been okay with you?

Dad had a stroke.

It's gonna be all right.

Would you give them my best?

Sure.

Here's your chili.

Mmm. Thank you.

What else do you guys need?

Okay, enjoy it.

Mind?

No, please.

Lord, thanks for good food, good company.

Amen.

You all right?

Yeah.

I'm good.

Don't do that.

Wallace.

Don't do that.

Thank you.

Precious Lord Take my hand Lead me on

Let me stand.

I am tired. I am weak.

I am worn.

Through the storm, through the night, lead me

on to the light.

Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.

when the darkness appears and the night

draws near and the day is

past and gone at

the river i stand guide my feet

hold my

Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home