Original subtitles

No, I know swamp land. But not all places are like that. Like over here,

you can totally build a house here.

No, it's totally swamp land over here.

Regardless of where you're at in the Everglades. Don't people live in the

Everglades? Some people do.

In fucking huts, but not houses.

People live in huts out here. Yeah, the real Indians who live out here.

Living in little huts Why do I watch all the shows where people live out like in

in the country of Florida over by the Everglades and they have You know that

yeah, they have invasion of fucking Gatorade Gator gators and shit coming up

to the house and stuff But their houses don't look like that's they look like

real houses We're not here

Not here, supposedly, but... You're in the middle of the fucking Everglades.

There's no houses anywhere.

It's really peaceful out here.

It is really peaceful. But there's nothing to do.

Of course there is.

Like what?

Go on sightseeing.

I'll admit, that is fun.

I like to do that.

There's one road that...

takes you up to Gainesville from here well takes you up north to Orlando and

gators are up against the fence line like that's alligator alley right yeah

alligator alley is that near here no no more north yeah but this is the same

shit yeah yeah this is the same shit there's gators what's Mako

Mako what was that sign? Mikasuki that's the casino we have

here in Everglades well yeah but that's an indian name like yeah it's an indian

reservation you know indians won't won't shower in tubs but

they'll they won't shower in tubs indians won't like i've seen tubs on the

outside of brand new houses where do you come up with this i'm telling you

indians don't shower in tubs but they build casinos what did i just say where

did you figure this out from okay in iowa

No, listen.

They built all these houses out in the country for Indians.

All right? You want to hear me out? Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to listen to

this shit.

And, like, two weeks after all these Indians moved in, you saw the tubs out

on the fucking, like... So they ripped the tubs out of our houses. They ripped

them out and just put them on the side.

And people came and picked them up because they don't fucking tub. What are

you doing? I'm going to fill up, bro, because once we get on this street,

there's no gas stations, no nothing. It's just plain woods.

Alright. Yeah, so they don't fucking... They don't shower in tubs, bro. You can

look it up. I guess stand-up.

No, I guess it's stand-ups. What I'm not getting at is how do these guys... They

build casinos and make a shitload of money off casinos.

Exactly.

Nothing makes sense to me. But the Indians aren't building the casinos.

They're just letting us build in their reservation, in their land.

I'm pretty sure all these casinos aren't owned by, you know, Indians. Like, they

didn't build it.

They just let us build on their land. Yeah, they get a cut.

Yeah, but they... How does that own with... How does that work with

ownership and shit?

You know? I'm pretty sure they just get a cut just for their land.

They're making mad cash off casinos, dude. I'm pretty sure that it's, like,

rent. Like, whoever built the casino is paying them rent.

That's probably what it is.

Can you get me a... Hey, give me one of those...

Yeah, see if you see those G, the new G ones. The ones.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

Collectors items, buddy.

You got to collect those. Give me a red one. Yeah.

Shit's still broke.

Hi.

Hi. Hey, can I record you for a second?

Uh, sure.

Oh, cool. What are you eating?

Well, it says Subway there.

What's your name?

Tessa. Tessa, I'm Preston. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. You don't mind if

I record you with this big camera, do you?

Um, kind of different, but all right. What the hell is there out here to do?

You know, go to the beach, pretty much.

There's no beach out here. This is like the Everglades. We're near it, aren't

we? Drive to the beach.

Pretty much it.

I, um...

I'm here with my friends here. We wanted to go sightseeing. There's a lot of

birds and gators and shit out here, we heard.

Do you know this area at all?

Not really too well.

I'm from Colorado.

You're from Colorado?

Yes. Do you have a boyfriend here or something that's going to come up and

kick my ass? No, I don't. All right.

Cool.

So what are you doing? What's your story?

Just out here in my dad's tire shop. Oh, okay.

Oh, he owns this tire shop?

Trucker's Tires, huh?

Yep.

That's cool.

Fuck, it's hot out here. How do you sit out here?

Be used to it. Gotta be out here with him.

Do you help him, or what?

Sometimes I do.

You're not helping him right now, you just... Lunch break.

You are really pretty.

So he lives here and you live, you live in Colorado?

Yeah, my mom lives in Colorado.

Oh, okay, they split up and shit. Yeah. I won't get into that, that's not cool.

No. You don't even look like you belong out here.

Out here, way out here.

Yeah, way out here.

Have you seen any alligators yet?

I haven't.

I think it'd be cool to see one though. Have you seen any cool alligators? I've

seen them, but not today. We're gonna, we're gonna go out sightseeing in a

little while. We're gonna film it all.

They in Florida?

About seven, eight years.

Nice. Yeah, I like it.

That's cool.

I'm from Iowa. I'm not from anything like this at all. I'm not used to it.

It's a lot different.

Colorado's different.

It gets cold there, huh?

It does. The weather is so much different.

You like the weather out here?

It's a little hot.

It's a little hot, especially today.

You like it out here?

I do.

Well, do you want to go sightseeing with us? I mean, we're not really sightseeing

we're gonna go look for gators and stuff We're gonna hang out We get a film about

40 minutes worth of stuff and cut it up and see what we get But you're more than

welcome to come with us.

I Mean see if I can fly the guys down

hey come over here

Tony and Ruben. That's who you're sightseeing with?

Yeah, they're my buddy.

We chill. We don't do much.

You know, we just hang out.

So are you just filming your trip or what are you doing with the camera?

Yeah, we're going to film.

Hopefully we're going to get in and see some alligators. That's pretty much what

we want to do.

What are you doing, homie? We're ready to go.

We'll get going in a second.

Ruben, Tony.

Hi, I'm Tessa.

Tessa.

She's so pretty. I had to talk to her. But her dad owns this place, so if he

comes out here and sees me... I'm not getting shot for you, man.

I'm not getting shot for you.

There's three guys around here.

I'm not getting shot for you. Did you say you'd be down to hang with us?

Yeah, I think so.

It's better than sitting out here, ain't it?

Get your lunch and we'll go.

Did you give me what I wanted, bro?

No fucking... What?

Wow. I was looking in there for, like, fucking ten minutes, so.

All right, this will work. Look, we have the same. All right.

Same drink?

Same drink.

All right, so I'm going to head over there to the bus so I don't get shot

when she's moving with her.

All right, well, I'll tell you what.

Do you have to ask anybody, or can you just come?

I just let him know later.

Maybe I should go tell him, though.

What do you think?

Just go tell him we're gonna hang out for a couple minutes.

Would you hang out for an hour with us?

Like around an hour? Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool.

Alright. Okay,

cool. That's our van right there.

Okay. Alright, we'll wait for you. Okay.

Alright, babe.

She knows what she's getting into.

Of course not.

You're so pretty.

Thank you.

I talked to him. He said it's all good.

Oh, he's cool? Yeah. Well, come on in. Let's do this. Back here?

Yeah.

What do you think of our little wagon

we have going on here?

Look at our ceiling all of our friends signed it Yeah,

do you want to sign it here shit do we have

anything start with a pen and

There's a good spot.

Right here. Right there? That looks like a good spot. That looks like a good

spot. Wow, you are fucking cute.

Thank you. Yes, she is.

She's from Colorado.

Colorado? For real? Yeah. Man, she's going used to this heat, huh?

Are you from Aspen?

Aspen, Colorado?

Where the beer flows like wine.

Is that their slogan?

I don't think so. That was from Dumb and Dumber. I was like, wait, is that their

slogan? You haven't seen Dumb and Dumber?

I've seen that movie 10,000 times.

Trade it up for the wagon for it. Trade it up. I don't know what he says.

Your pen don't work.

Bro, we gotta find something.

Hey, I found a marker.

There we go.

Would this work?

We gotta buy some markers. New markers.

Do you have a boyfriend or anything?

Babe? No, I don't. Because I don't think it's respectful what he's doing to you

right now, touching you like that. Well, you know, she turned and she almost fell

over. No, no, I'm kidding. That was nice of him.

Very nice of him. Can I see your fingers?

Look at that. She's got a nice little manicure going on.

Colorado girls are very clean, you know?

They are.

They are, but there's a variety.

I have a question.

Why does your dad own a tire place in an Indian reservation?

That's kind of cool.

That is kind of cool. They separated, I guess.

Her mom lives in Colorado.

Nice. Yeah, he's owned it for quite a few years.

I'm guessing because property's cheap here. Like I said, you fucking build a

house out here.

You can't build a fucking house here. No, but you can build a fucking office.

With air conditioning, with rooms. I don't know what the fuck to tell you,

man. Exactly.

It's a fucking hut. Yeah, whatever.

It's not a hut.

Here, come sit here.

Me? Yeah.

Of course he is.

Alright. Oh, by the way, um, our new friend here hasn't ever seen any

alligators. Never seen alligators? So, if you can, if you can find, yeah, if

you can find some, we'll pull over.

on the lookout.

It'll be cool.

What is there to do in Colorado where you're from? Besides drink, because

that's every college.

There's a lot of snowboarding.

A lot of snowboarding. But not this time of the year.

No, not this time of the year.

A couple months snowboarding.

Where do you live?

UCF, is that right?

That's the college?

CSU.

Is there a lot of mountains in your area?

We want to go shoot there. We want to meet people there. We want to shoot in

Colorado. Is it worth it? Yeah.

Should we do that? You guys should go shoot there up in the mountains. That's

a good idea.

I want to go to Aspen.

Aspen? All the things I've heard about it.

All I've heard is there's a lot of snow.

Man, how much fun would that be?

I thought that's all there was out there was just snow.

What's that?

I thought there was only snow out there. That's it.

there's sunshine dude there's a mile high city there's areas where you can

you can go snow skiing up like in the mountains and in the same day you can

come down where it's like 75 degrees isn't that right yeah the weather is

very different here i want to go really bad oh did you find some beaters already

We're not going to let you get eaten.

Do I have to sign a liability?

Do you have a ride with you guys?

Unfortunately, this video is not going to be. We have no insurance for this

video. See if you can see it so I can stop.

Liability.

You know what happens if you get your leg bit off?

We run like hell.

If you get your leg bit off, you can't run like hell.

No, we will.

We're going to leave you hanging.

We don't have any money, babe.

This amateur video here.

God, you are so cute.

Thank you.

You are.

You have a little baby fat. I like it. It's cute.

Oh, you just tucked it in.

Let me see it. Let me see your stomach.

Come on, please. Can I stand up?

Yeah. No, actually, I went... Oh, I thought you had baby fat. I saw a couple

rolls. I'm into real girls. I'm not into, like... I'm not into, like, you

know... Perfect girls.

Are your boobs real? Yes.

They are?

Being from Miami, most girls don't have real boobs.

Colorado boobs.

It's not really a fake.

We're gonna look for some gators.

There's always someone... Water dog!

Oh shit, dude. There's one right there, man.

I can't see. He's blind.

He's blind?

Yeah. Baby, look at this gator. Here comes Allie. Look.

Allie's coming around that other dog over there. Come on, Allie!

Fucker's huge.

See Allie?

Over to your left, right in front of that dog. Come on, Allie!

Hey, get in here, babe. He's blind.

He's not going to see you. Just get in there. Whatever, you're lying.

Oh, that's just a little guy. Can you jump up there? No way.

They don't have ankles.

They can't... Baby,

just get over there for a second. I'll stand right here. You said you wanted to

see him. I can see. It's cool.

That's crazy.

It's not food, dude.

Look around like that.

He's not that big.

What do you mean he's not that big? He's big enough.

The other guy's big.

Look at the other one.

Look over here.

Oh, there's another one coming right over there.

We got tourists.

They love tourists.

Do you have a stake we can throw in?

Hey, look over here. There's another one coming.

Maybe my leg.

Here you go.

Here you go.

You guys relax.

Look, there's four right here. There's one, two, three, four over there.

I only see one.

Where's... Back there.

Okay. That's two.

You got another one right here in front of you.

Okay. And you got another one over there by the dock.

They love guests because they love to eat.

Baby, just jump in.

Jump in for us.

You're so cute. He's going to like you.

Here,

come on. Jump in.

No, I'm not jumping in.

Give me your hand. Hey, stop saying no.

You just put your foot in the water. I don't trust you.

What are you talking about? Look, they're very friendly.

I've done it before.

I only got bit.

You're out of your mind.

You know, I'm not supposed to be the most excited one here. You are.

You're like, oh, I want to see alligators. I'm excited, but it's the

first time I've seen it, and it's scary.

Don't be scared. You're trying to get me to jump in and shit. Not jump in,

just... Bro, there's a lot out here.

There's a shitload of gators.

Come here baby

He's

waiting for you to throw food in that's what he's waiting for Yeah,

there's some big gators

He's about six feet

That's

pretty big

He gets fed well.

They're all over the place, man.

That's crazy.

That's what we wanted to see, gators.

If I dropped this can, bopped.

Not only the camera, but he would probably eat it.

I wonder if alligators are, like, in the same species as, like, frogs.

Because look at their legs.

They might be. Look, their legs look like... I don't know, you don't watch

the Discovery Channel?

Their legs are webbed.

He's gone.

He don't like me no more.

No food, no service. That's what he says.

Yeah, he's like, you guys don't have food, I'm leaving.

Let's just go find another spot.

What is this, an amusement park? That's what he's thinking.

He's supposed to feed me.

I've seen enough.

Let's keep going. Let's roll.

Come on, babes.

She is hot, dude.

Go ahead, bro.

Let me tell you, it wasn't...

to put your feet in the water and just start jiggling them around. Oh, come on,

guys. I was watching them the whole time.

Haven't you seen those shows where they put their hand inside the gator's mouth?

Yeah, they know what the fuck they're doing. Haven't you seen those shows

where they get their hand bitten off?

I try to stay away from those shows.

Fuck that.

Yeah, like he said, they could have come under the dock and just... And that's

when I thought, okay, you're probably right.

He's like, I didn't think about that before, but now that you say it...

At least you saw some gators. I know, I'm excited. That was really fun. I want

to do that again.

It was awesome.

Do you guys travel like this all the time?

Make a left.

We just sightsee wherever we're going and we film everything we can.

That's awesome.

We try to pick up hot chicks if we can.

So I'm not your first one you picked up?

You're hot. You're beyond hot.

Wow, thank you. So you look like a bumblebee with your glasses on.

God, you're cute.

Yes, she is.

She's real sexy.

What do you think, bro?

She's one out of ten. What would you... Can we rate you? Nine.

You can rate me. I rate her a six.

You're such a fucking... No, I don't know you yet. Six? I haven't seen...

Wow. What?

I mean, you gotta get to know someone. That's like a point.

You know, I haven't had sex with you. That's a point.

Well, if I'm rating her on just what I see, a nine.

Well, you're nice.

Oh, you're married, so you don't count.

You fucking ass.

He doesn't count. Let's say, just on looks, let's say an eight.

An eight? You're a bitch.

All right.

Pretty good.

I'm going to stick to my six.

You're going to stick to your six? Yeah.

I don't normally get along with white girls.

Yeah, I don't usually like blondes, so. They're normally boring.

Blondes have to be boring.

Blondes are a lot of fun. Yeah, but you're not really blonde.

You're actually brunette, but you pretend to be blonde.

No, I'm actually dirty blonde, but since I dye my hair super, super blonde, it

makes my roots look darker.

But dirty blonde, there's no such thing as dirty blonde. There is?

I have, like, dirty blonde hair. No way.

Yes.

You've got reddish hair.

Reddish hair? Really? Have you never heard that before? Never. What's a dirty

blonde? You have red hair.

Yeah, you're red, bro.

You have red hair.

He's like, fuck! You're more of a mixed breed than...

How do you how do you become red?

How do you become red?

Did your mom bang like an albino?

Your

nipple

hair that's disgusting a guy with nipple hair that's red

I'm not looking at your fucking nipples, bro.

He looked.

No, I didn't. His eyes went down. I'm not looking at your nipples. No, I

didn't look. You're fucking, no way.

Wait, so you're telling me, what is red? Italian and what?

I don't know. And albino? You know reds are going out of breed?

Did you know that? What?

Reds are going out of breed.

What does that mean? Like, they're getting, they're going extinct.

Because there's not a real gene for people with red hair. See, you should be

happy with yourself. Yeah, you should be happy. There isn't very many people with

red hair anymore. I don't have fucking red hair.

Wait, why is it a bad thing? We look really close. Get out of here!

In Boston, do they call you red?

I'm not from Boston.

Where are you from?

Philly. Same thing.

Philly.

Boston and Philly are the same thing.

He's all gangster.

Philly.

Would you consider yourself trustworthy?

Hey, red.

Hey, red.

Bro, why? What's wrong with that? Hey, red.

What's wrong with red?

Well, now that you don't like that, now you're red.

You might as well tattoo it on your neck there.

Your neck is so red right now.

Your face is getting red.

Oh,

man. Fuck you, guys.

Nothing wrong with red, bro.

You're different, that's all.

Some people only date redheads.

Have you ever been with a redhead?

No, I haven't.

Would you consider him red?

Yeah. I have people that tell me I got blonde hair.

Who tells you that? Everything says something different. This lady says, you

look like you're Swedish. Well, I'm going to tell all of our friends that

you're red.

Go ahead. So if you ever see him on the street, call him red.

Tony Red Rubino.

Tony Red Rubino.

Tony Redd is fine with me. Tony Redd. Tony Redd.

I'm gonna change your name since I came up with it. Well, you came up with the

name. I started, you know, I started the label.

You get credit for it. Yeah.

You're so pretty and I can tell by your eyebrows that you're not blonde at all.

That's how you did it.

Eyebrows. Are you shaved down there? I know that's a really disgusting

question, but is it?

Are you shaved down there? Yeah. You are completely?

So we really can't tell if you're completely, like, brunette or if you're

dirty blonde if you're shaved on that.

Well, I shaved my arms, but you can kind of see my little blonde hairs.

You're not blonde.

Okay, lift your hair for a second.

No,

lift it. Like, lift.

You see your... You're not blonde. I knew it.

Blondes do have more fun, but you're not blonde.

It would actually be down to do that. You want to know the truth? You want to

know the truth?

Look at the fucking van.

Take a look at the roof.

Girls come with us. Girls come with us all the time. We've actually had girls

like flash us.

A lot of white girls?

No white girls. Oh, no white girls. They're kind of white. Oh, no, some

white. I was in Daytona. I was in Daytona. Sorry, you didn't come with us.

No, I wasn't there. We went to Daytona and we picked up a white girl. But she

was more like a guy white girl, you know?

Like a guy? Like you didn't know whether it was a guy or... No, not like that,

but... You know, like really ugly white girl.

I always think when I think of a really ugly white girl, I think of a guy.

You know what I mean? I usually think of a trailer park or something.

Exactly.

Horrible, right?

Do you live in a trailer?

No. I used to, so I can't talk too much shit.

I lived in a trailer.

I've never lived in a trailer. Shit, now they're making two-story high trailers.

Yeah, trailers are different now. Just like Wally World, man. Walmart used to

suck. Now I love it.

Because they sell food.

They sell everything.

They got everything at Walmart. But I used to go to Walmart when I was dirt

poor.

My jeans were from Walmart.

They were called his.

His jeans.

Yeah, dude. I got made so much fun of, bro.

Horrible.

But they still don't sell any name brand stuff, though.

I don't know, dude. It's still nice stuff.

It's better.

Better than before?

Yeah.

They don't have his jeans anymore. They have Wrangler.

That's name brand.

God, you are fucking cute.

You're so cute.

What do you think of Tony?

I've been realizing that Red's been looking at you like for... Look how nice

you are to him. You're like touching his... He's not mean.

He's not mean at all.

Did I say mirrored or mean?

He's not mirrored.

Tony Red.

I like that name.

That's your new name.

What's your real name? Tony what? Tony Rubino.

Tony Red.

I'm Italian.

Spell it. R-E-D. R-E-B-I-N-O.

It's red.

Don't you guys travel all the time together?

It's red.

It's fucking red.

I'm gonna bust my balls for the rest of the fucking ride.

No, for the rest of every ride.

You're stuck with red. What's wrong with you being red, dude?

If I was red, then I would say yeah. You don't like it?

Come on, fucking call it. I got a t-shirt that says it. I'm gonna get you

a t-shirt.

I'll wear it.

I wish I had a red t-shirt. I know a place we could get one made for you.

I'll even get a red t-shirt.

We don't want a red t-shirt. We want to see your boobs.

Damn.

That works.

I do want to see your tits.

No, you have some nice tits, but what size are they? Are they Bs?

No, they're Ds. They're not Ds.

You're so full of shit. I've seen Ds.

But these are real Ds. You've probably seen a lot of fake boobs. Oh, so they

like sag down to your belly button?

No. What do I look like, a dried up old lady?

No, you look like you're a white girl.

Yeah, so... I don't know, they just... I mean, your boobs look amazing, but

aren't you wearing a bra?

A push-up bra?

No, I'm just wearing a regular bra.

It's a push-up. No.

It's a push-up.

Your D's?

Yeah. Those are barely B's.

B plus.

Maybe a C, maybe a C.

Maybe. Look at him staring red. Stop. Seriously.

Yo, I'm not gonna answer that fucking question.

Actually, I looked what you said it to. Look how nice she is, man.

She is. She's really cool. Just fucking make out with him and get it over with.

I thought you wanted to see my titties. I would love to see your titties, but I

didn't think you'd actually fucking show.

If you ask me really, really nice?

Show your tits.

It's not really, really nice.

Would you show me your tits?

Do I have to say the P word?

Yeah, you say the P word. Please?

Alright. Do it for Red.

I'll do it for Red. Oh, this is fucking beautiful.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

She's like getting all ready.

Oh my god.

They are nice. Baby, they are beautiful.

Yes, they are.

You have the nicest boobs.

You like them?

I think they're fucking sexy.

So now do you feel bad for me? You're talking all that smack about them? No,

there's no smack.

They're just not D's.

Yes, they are. Those are not D's. Yes. Let your shirt go.

No, no, no. Put it down. Let me see. No, no, no. Put it up and let it go.

Now, maybe move to your side.

Oh, they're beautiful B's.

They are. They're amazing. Whoever told you they're D's?

They're beautiful. Can you do me a huge favor?

They're bigger than a ham.

Yeah. Okay, so they're maybe small C's.

Can you do, oh my god, that is so pretty.

Your titties are amazing.

Can you take your bra off for me?

Yeah.

Can you believe she showed her tits, bro?

They're nice.

It's not a big deal anymore showing tits. Every girl does it.

Girls are okay to show their tits.

Can I see this?

Oh, I'm about to call you a liar.

She's looking for the side. But I gotta tell you, there is nothing wrong. No.

Look at it.

Exactly. No, no, no.

Okay, grab it then. This side doesn't have a hook stuck.

Let go no, no, don't don't pull the tag on actually says the seat, but it's

useful. What is this?

What is all this cushion?

What is all this cushion? Hey, do you see that size there?

36c okay, that's a CNN this these were too big for her and look at the push-up

look at the push-up Stop roll down your window. She doesn't need these

Alright, she doesn't need it. This is what you get for lying.

I didn't lie! This is what you get for fucking the stranger in the ass.

No, don't throw it out.

These are too nice.

These are from some guy named Victoria.

Who the hell is that?

Victor.

Victor.

Oh,

you have the nicest boobs.

Yes, you do.

So nice.

Thank you. Wait, wait, wait.

They've been out for a while. Why do girls wear bras?

Because she wanted everyone to think. See, now look.

Look at the difference.

Those are B's. They still look nice, though. They do. Really.

There's just no... Why did you tell everyone that they're D's? They are D's.

No, they're not. Do you have a measuring tape? Yeah, it's called my eyes.

Okay, pull them off from... Pull them off from, like, the top, maybe.

Okay, and let them go.

See, if they're D's, they'd be blowing up right now.

But there's nothing wrong with that. They're still beautiful.

Yes, they are.

They're so fucking beautiful.

Just listen. Say this. That makes me very upset.

Don't be upset. Look in the camera and say, I love my beautiful B cup boobs.

I love my beautiful D tits.

They're not Ds.

Yes, they are.

You need to stop lying. I've been living with these for 18 years now.

You're only 18?

Yeah. You had those when you were 18?

Well, I didn't have them when I was like one, but...

But I did get started getting my boobs were big and like six seven great. What

are you doing, man? Why are you looking at her like that?

Will you kiss this guy already fucking likes you he's looking at you like

crazy. It's driving me fucking stupid back here

Oh man, they're

kissy

You wanted me to fucking kiss her. You kiss her.

I can't stand this shit. He's like, let me get another one.

Yeah, man.

Goddamn. And titty grab.

Wow. I'm starting to really like

Colorado chicks.

Colorado white chicks.

So all the girls you pick up do this? No, not all of them.

No, I just don't make out with all of them. Are you sure?

No, only the courtyards.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. Did you just kiss him for real?

Yeah. Did he taste like a dirty Philly kid? He's from Jersey. No, I'm not from

Philly. He's from Philly.

Philly, Jersey.

South Jersey is like Philly, but it's not as rough. Well, some parts are.

You're rough, dude.

North Jersey is like New York. South Jersey is like Philly.

People get shot up.

Little white boy like you walking down the street in Philly.

Little red boy.

Yeah,

they run like night time. Talking to an OG right here.

Yeah, they run parking lots in front of the basketball stadium. Go to South

Philly and say that. Yeah, they do.

They do.

That's how they make their money. They run all the fucking... Good thing your

face isn't on this saying that.

What's that?

They run the streets.

They do. I'm not fucking around with those fuckers.

I actually know more than I want to know about that shit.

God, you are... I just can't stop looking at your body.

It's so nice.

Yes, it is.

I like your jeans. They make you look like a cracker.

You know what I mean? I don't think she's wearing jeans, bro.

No, like, jean shorts.

The way she's got those... Is that in style, having the pockets out like that?

Yep. That's how short the fucking shorts are. What's your dad say when you leave

the house like that?

You know what?

He doesn't really have a say in things.

Is he dating a girl like your age right now?

Probably? A few years older.

Like what, 22?

Like 24, I think she is. How old is he?

Yeah, he's like 40.

Something. 41.

Shit. Yeah.

Were you an accident?

I mean, did he tell you, like... Were you an accident?

Did your mom and dad ever actually get married, or was it just like, oh, we're

gonna try it out, and then after six months of you, like, finally you start

walking, and then he's like, I'm outta here. They're like, I guess they gotta

keep you now. You're already here.

Did they fuck in Florida? Did they fuck in Colorado? I think I was made on prom

for non-graduation.

Really? So they're young.

Your mom just doesn't know how to use a rubber, huh?

They probably didn't use it that much.

Yeah, probably not.

They didn't have the cool rubbers.

How many kids did your mom have?

And how many dads?

Your dad had three kids with your mom?

Okay, cool. Then you're cool. That's not cool. That's not bad. You're not crazy.

That's not bad.

I was thinking she was going to say three. Three kids with three dads.

Three. My mom's not a whore.

I didn't call her a whore.

But that's what you imply.

I was gonna imply that, but now that I heard the news, she's not that bad.

You didn't get to imply it, so you're good.

Does your mom know you shave completely?

Like, completely?

You know, I don't think she ever really asks me if I shave. Does she shave

completely? Have you seen her? You've never seen her?

Does your mom know?

Of course she's gonna say yeah.

Now she's like, okay, you know?

But you're hot.

She's definitely hot. She's very hot.

Yeah.

I don't know what else to say. This has been a fun trip.

It has. I think we got everything we need.

Did we really get everything we need? What else do we need?

She's not down to do anything else.

Why not? You don't know that.

She's pretty cool.

She sends more checks.

Talk to her. I don't give a fuck.

Okay, we had a girl once completely get naked and blow him.

But she was a whore. We had to pay her.

Are you serious? Yeah, we don't have to pay you.

You just picked her up on the street corner?

I mean, we would pay you, but we don't have to. No, we're not going to pay her.

Why?

You have money?

Yeah, I got money.

I don't know if I want to pay her.

Can we pay you to do something else?

She doesn't want money. She's just cool.

Do you give head like most girls from Colorado where they just don't know what

the fuck they're doing? I did hear that.

Yeah. Colorado girls can't get that. Utah girls.

There's many dudes in Utah that do nothing but watch porn.

They don't know how to get that out there, either. And the girls, I've heard

bad fucking rumors about the girls.

Like, cocky as fuck, too. Like, oh, don't come too early, and then they

don't know how to get that.

You know, like, don't worry.

That's the second thing. I've never had a complaint, ever.

And then, you know.

Yeah, well, here's your first complaint. You suck.

Have you ever had a complaint?

I dare you to complain.

Blow him, and then he's going to complain and tell you how horrible you

are. And that'll be your first complaint or your first gator sighting episode?

Have you ever had a complaint about giving head?

How many guys have you given head to?

No, tell us.

Tell us.

10 guys, that means 30.

Times 3.

You've blown 30 dudes and you're only 18.

You whore.

I wonder how many guys your mom's blown.

I don't even want to know.

Has she ever banged your boyfriend?

No. Have you ever caught her like... Getting finger fucked by your... Ew, no.

No?

You've never seen your mom getting... I don't have one right now. You think she

takes it up the ass?

Ew, I don't want to know.

You don't think your mom takes a finger and lets it, like, shove it up my ass?

You've never come home and seen her like that? I don't know. You want her number?

Maybe you can call her and see if... Don't tell him that. He actually will

call. Put it in my phone right now.

He actually will.

No, that's fucked up. See if she'll let you stick your finger in her butt. No,

honestly, do you give good head or not? I'm not even going to fuck around with

this question.

I don't know.

Hey man, that's sticking with you, so get used to it. He doesn't want you to

look at that.

Yo, dude, stand up, bro.

Tony. I won't talk about your red hair anymore.

Just fucking show her, dude. She's down. She just doesn't want to fucking admit

it.

She's like, what the fuck are these people doing? We won't tell anybody.

It's nice and bright.

Dear, three o'clock.

No, that's nine o'clock.

Look the other way, look.

Just grab her hand, dude.

Do it.

Are you serious? You're a lesbian? You're a fucking dyke?

You're a dyke from Colorado?

I'm not a dyke.

You got a dick in your face and you don't know what to do with it. You're a

dyke.

You can grab it. I'm not going to say anything.

We won't tell your dad.

Just do it. You sure you're not going to tell my dad?

Just take your hand and just fucking grab it.

Take your nails and fucking chop this dick off.

No, don't do that.

I don't care.

That would be funny.

Seriously, that's not so bad, is it?

It's the funniest looking dick you've probably ever seen in your life.

It's the funniest looking thing I've ever seen.

Why is it funny?

I don't know, dude. It's just weird, dude.

You got a weird fucking... You look, your pubes are red too.

You're fucking red.

What do you think?

Is that normal to you? Not really, right?

It's cool.

She's a dyke. You're a fucking dyke. I'm not a dyke.

It's cool.

You've sucked 10 dicks.

Yeah. You're horrible at it, aren't you? Classic ones.

I'm dying to tell you how bad you are at it.

Really? Prove me wrong.

Why do you think I'm so bad at it? Because every girl says they've never

had a complaint, and I want to give a complaint. You know why a lot of girls

say they've never had complaints?

Because a lot of guys don't have the balls. Wow, look at this. She's going to

explain it to me.

Tell me, tell me. Because a lot of the guys don't have the balls.

Look at Tony, bro.

Is this offend you or is it okay?

Is this too much? Because I don't want to record this shit.

I don't want to get in trouble with this.

Put it in your mouth. Just do it.

We're dying to fucking see.

We're dying to complain.

Here, let me see your tongue.

She has a red tongue. Did you already suck them off?

Oh, shit.

Oh, that was the Gatorade, my bad. Red.

Is the red dying off?

You motherfuckers.

I think your, uh, pube hair, the red... She's not interested in them at all,

dude. This is so funny. She's worried about the redness.

Why aren't you interested in red?

Honestly. I'm just not used to this.

Sorry. No girl's used to this. What the fuck is he doing? Dude.

There's a ton of shit in here.

This guy's like my fucking sure so Do

it I dare you just put your mouth on Come

on

You're gonna say yes.

He's like, yeah, let's do it. He's like, yeah, I don't think I should.

You're so fucking sexy.

You are.

What's your name again?

I'm just kidding.

It's horrible.

She's like making love to it.

Be honest, bro.

She's getting there. She's getting there.

Let's see what she's got. This is just the beginning.

Damn it. That's not what I wanted him to say.

See? I'm proving you wrong already.

I didn't say she was good yet.

What? I'm not saying you're horrible, but... Look in the

camera. Now we're making a porno.

This is like that movie. What is that movie?

Zack and something.

Zack and Myra make a porno. Zack and Norv or something.

Zack and Myra make a porno. Well, we know it's Zack.

We all got the Zack part right here.

Do you really think I'm bad?

I don't know. You haven't even done it yet. I know, I just started.

So far, yes.

I don't know, dude.

She likes this camera.

Look

in

the camera honey. I want you to look here.

God, this video looks awesome. I should become a porn star.

Can you pull one of your tits out?

They don't do that enough in porn.

Really? No, they don't pull tits out while they're sucking dick.

There's not too much porn in Colorado. Just your left tit. Oh, there's plenty

of porn. Just go to the internet.

Just one? Just your left tit.

Yeah.

I love your tan line. Baby, right there, your boob looks like a D cup.

Because it is.

No, I have a wide-angle lens on it.

Just kidding. It's fucked up.

It is fucked up.

They don't have to be big to be beautiful. You are sexy.

I don't think they're these, but they are amazing.

You're one of the prettiest girls I've ever had in this van.

I agree. What? Yeah, you're the second girl I've ever had in this van.

You say that to all of them.

She didn't hear you, but... She didn't get that second part. All right, no

hands. What was the second part? Just your mouth. Just your mouth. But no

hands. Hands?

No. What did I just say?

Well, I got to use hands just again. No, no. No? No.

Just do it? Yes.

It's like bobbing for apples or something.

Exactly. Let me see if I can even do this.

Sorry. Goddamn.

Sorry, man. Sorry.

You gotta be careful because one of these girls is gonna bite down.

Yeah. Be scared and just bite really hard.

Can he sit on there and you can get down on your knees?

I love to see girls beg.

Yeah? I like to beg every once in a while.

Do it. Let's see.

Sit right here, man.

No, bro.

Over here.

Oh, this is so fucking awesome. Can we show your dad this?

No. He said, look what your daughter just did.

She was just coming to hang out with us for an hour.

Yeah. You think he'll beat my ass?

Yeah, I think he might.

Is he like a skinny little bitch?

No, he's a pretty big guy.

Is he? I'd beat his ass.

That's like your friend here chasing after you.

Really bad.

Well, then I'll put my friend on him and then I'll be on his side.

No hands.

And you slap your face with it

Really?

No, I mean really slap it like right in the eyeball.

Right in the eyeball?

Yeah. Give yourself a black eye.

I don't want a black eye. Do it, do it.

Nah, that's just easy.

How's that?

Is that hard enough? That's beautiful.

Can you hear it?

I do hear it.

So, what do you think?

Has it gone up? What did I give you before on your rating?

When we were rating you?

I think it was like a 4.

No, was it a 4 or was it a 6?

I said she was an 8.

You said she was a 9.

No, I said an 8.

Now, I'd say she's about...

A four.

That's what I was thinking, too.

What? Because you keep fucking talking.

Jesus Christ. I know.

Fucking suck the dicks. We like dirty bitches.

We don't like these conversation dick suckers, you know?

You know those conversation dick suckers? Yeah, they're like, hey, what's

going on?

What are you going to do this afternoon?

You know, why don't you suck my dick? We'll talk about it after.

After you're done sucking my dick.

I have people emailing me, bro, come to Utah.

I'm like, what the fuck for? For work for this.

You are cute, babe. She's fucking sexy.

So cute.

I'm calling this over to the app.

This is a bit crazy, huh?

Are you having fun at least?

Yeah, it's pretty fun.

You're very cool.

Thank you. Yeah, you're actually the first girl to do this.

What? Yeah, we were kidding before.

I thought you told me more people have done it. No, we're just joking. We're

just trying to get you to do it.

We didn't actually think you'd do it.

I mean, what kind of fucking crow has the right mind?

You know?

So, thank you.

Fuck it up. Keep going.

Do you like Red? Do you think he's cool?

Yeah, he's cool. He's got two girlfriends.

Wow. Yeah.

Little Mac Daddy.

They're redheads.

You're his first blonde.

That's cool. Blondes have more fun.

She's crazy. She is crazy.

Why don't you go back there and get acquainted with her?

I'm going to stay up here. He wants to go back there and say hi to you.

You want to say hi back there? Yeah.

He wants to ask you a personal question.

Personal question.

Yeah, like this isn't personal enough.

Yeah.

Can you come here real quick?

Go ahead.

What?

Your boobs. Can I just poke them?

It looks like a big C right there. A big C. Oh, what were you about to say? D.

Almost D.

Like some boobs.

Which one's bigger? Let me see.

They're the same.

They're pretty fucking the same.

And I see some that are like bigger than others.

Kind of like off like this. Mine are actually, I got pretty lucky.

You got real lucky. Yeah.

You look like you have a double chin from this angle.

Do I? I don't like that angle.

No, look down again. Look down. No, I don't want to. No, do it.

Look down.

She's moving her eyeballs, but she won't move her neck.

Oh, there you go.

It's not that bad, though.

It's just my skin, because I don't have a double chin. Shake him.

Oh, my God.

What do you think of Tony? He fucking loves you.

You know, he hadn't had sex in, like, three years, for real.

Are you serious?

Yeah, and he's back there. He's, like, flipping a condom on, thinking you're

gonna go fuck him. What?

Yeah.

Are you serious?

When's the last time you fucked a dude? Honestly.

Mmm, last time. A couple days.

She's thinking about it. She's about to lie.

No, I'm not about to lie, but it's been a while.

Well, obviously he believes in safe sex.

I mean, that's good. That's a good thing, right? Why don't you go back

there and see?

Maybe he'd be interested.

Do it. I want to see you fuck him.

Yeah? Yeah.

Ruben's not saying anything.

Why not?

Because it's a bit creepy.

It's up to you.

What do I do?

She's asking us.

Shit.

Oh my god, dude, look.

Damn.

So hot.

She's like uncomfortable, but yet she wants to keep going.

It was a great time.

Oh my god, she is so fucking hot now.

Babe, I just gave you a 10.

Yeah? Yeah.

You got a 10 now?

God, your pussy is like coming already.

It's like yogurt coming out.

You don't breathe much, do you?

Yeah.

Jesus. Jesus.

Can I put another dick in your ass?

No. Please?

She's cool. I don't know if she's that cool.

Come on.

Bring your hands around so I can see your pretty face.

Oh my god.

You're a winner.

I'm ten?

Yes.

You're eleven.

Let's shake that ass for real, for real.

Want to put your feet up there?

There you go

You're so pretty now. I'm sorry for anything I said.

Let him put it in your ass.

I don't know.

Put it, shove it inside your asshole.

I don't do that.

I don't care.

Brett, put it inside her ass, dude.

Is that how she looked at me?

You don't do anal?

No. Damn it.

You're back down to a nine.

Unless I went down two points.

I said 11 earlier.

Yes, you're down two points.

No,

leave it on. It looks good.

It looks so fucking good.

Just lift your legs.

Fucker. Both legs like you had before.

Yes. And hide your face, Red. God.

How about like this?

Much better.

Lock it in and take a shove inside here.

Don't stop.

Damn.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit.

Goddamn.

That's gross.

Wash that shit off. But you are sexy.

Too bad we don't have any towels or anything.

You don't? I don't think so.

You don't keep those things around?

Here, let me try and find one for you, okay?

Okay.

Where are you taking this anyway?

That spot that I told you that there's usually a shitload of gators.

You want to see some more gators? Yeah.

That's cool.

It's like a dock, like the same dock we were in over there.

But it has usually a bunch of gators.

More than the other place?

Yeah.

I want to get closer than before. I mean, I don't want to put my feet in the

water or anything.

How much closer were you in? You were like right there. I know, you were

fucking... I thought you were going to be able to see me. Come up here.

It's more or less the same thing.

I want one to hiss at you.

Tanner's hiss?

Yeah, you didn't hear that one?

Oh.

Like that.

Leave me alone.

Yeah, they don't fuck around.

I can't believe what just happened.

I didn't think another day at dad's office would turn into this.

Maybe you should just get out more. Take his truck or his car or whatever.

How far away from this Looks

like

they make you just walk right up on the grass Pull all the way up there

This guy looks like he's fucking all over it.

Alright, I'm getting out.

Let's go check this out.

This is a spot all this doesn't look so bad this looks kind of nice I

See I think I see one right now

Really Don't swim

This

is fucking nice, dude

I don't see any, dude.

Docks are rocking.

Oh, it's one of those floating docks. Oh, fuck. It's a little scary now,

though.

Oh, shit.

Look over there.

Where?

I see little fish.

This looks like a fucking boating place.

Where do you see the little fish?

Huh? Where do you see the little fish? Where do you see the alligators? I

don't. Yeah, this sucks.

There should be some. I thought you said there was some here.

There's usually a shitload. He's getting kind of excited.

Is that one right there?

I want to see someone wear it.

There!

No, go, go, go.

Go, go, come on.

She's coming.

Step on it.

See you later, bye!

She waved. Yeah, she waved. She's freaking out.