Original subtitles

[ soft instrumental music ]

[ The Writer ] I want to write whatever happens.

Even if I'm condemned to file

my non-existence.

We start from a void.

From the euphoria of a man who has lost hope yet persistent.

[ woman ] Good morning. Come, Tina.

[ The Writer ] I write personal dream of success.

I'm incomprehensible to my fellow men.

I have to put up with my neighborhood,

my family...

...and myself again.

Succumbing to a nervous breakdown.

- Actually, I've done little more. - [ doorbell chimes ]

[ The Writer ] To survive, I write.

[ doorbell chimes ]

[ The Writer ] I feel like peace here.

I transcend my soul's life with ease.

- [ utensils clattering ] - [ man shouting in a distance ]

[ speaking in Chinese ]

[ The Writer ] "The enlightenment started when the people realized...

...they were no longer living in the Middle Ages."?

[ laughing ]

[ bell tolling ]

Okay, so, I have present for you,

the seven ecstasies.

The seven themes that we're gonna really focus on.

You're gonna choose one. Now, the ecstasy of the social,

we have the ecstasy of the body, the ecstasy of information,

ecstasy of time,

ecstasy of the real,

the ecstasy of sex,

and the ecstasy of violence.

History is a luxury of the West.

My intents of humanity live on the margin of history.

The naïve illusion is that... [ inhales sharply ]

...the media is controlled by the those in power.

Ironically, it may just be the opposite.

We experience time and history as if in a deep coma...

...predictions and foresight...

...are the memory of the future.

He's talking Chinese.

[ chuckles ] You're too young to understand.

It's about Clandestine Revolution.

Okay. I want a, in two weeks,

a paper based on one of these things on my desk, okay?

Okay.

Okay or I'm gonna jump off the tower.

[ all ] Okay.

- I want to hear it. - [ all ] Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

[ students chattering ]

You had a hard on.

- When? - You had a hard on in class.

[ unintelligible ]

[ both chuckles ]

[ gentle instrumental music ]

Who? Who is watching me? Humph?

Why, why does it seem impossible

for me to have a relation with a normal human being?

This is impossible. It is for me to leave the island.

So...

Today everything hurts and yet I feel at peace.

The habit of pain.

I don't feel it's constant buzzing or burning.

- [ phone ringing ] - [ phone beeps ]

[ Julia ] Hola! This is your ex-girlfriend,

Julia.

Haven't seen you in some time.

Javier misses you.

I thought...

...maybe we could play family.

Next Saturday?

[ phone beeps ]

[ light suspenseful music ]

"How can we build a city when it tells lies...

...and forgetfulness?"

[ bell tolling ]

"I write on pavement, on paper, and on toilet paper.

I came to search for you, but did not want to find you.

Read me. Decipher me.

I will be back on Wednesday at 12.

I hope to see you without talking.

I prefer to read you and you read me."

[ people chattering ]

Hi. Tomorrow...

Okay, thank you.

[ upbeat music ]

[ man grunting ]

No, no.

[ grunting continues ]

- [ car honks ] - [ tires screeches ]

- [ Julia ] That was the exit. - [ The Writer ] Hmm.

[ Julia ] You just missed the exit.

- [ Julia ] You should've turned right. - [ The Writer ] Right.

- [ Julia ] Ugh, now it's too late. - [ The Writer ] Mm-hmm.

Told you, it was a cut off to Caguas.

- You've wasted half a morning in this. - Yes, I did it on purpose.

I told you we needed to leave early.

So why don't you go inside with him

and I'll park the car and meet you there?

Javier, let's go.

- [ upbeat music ] - [ Javier giggling ]

I want that one.

[ The Writer ] You do?

[ muffled chatter ]

[ muted ]

[ The Writer ] We know the rings we will never buy.

And make travel plans for places we will never visit.

[ Javier giggles ]

Hey!

- Hey! - [ Javier ] Mommy, those are for you.

- Where did you get these? - Over there.

[ people chattering ]

So this crazy is following you...

...without measuring her words,

some kind of intellectual seductive manipulation--

I didn't say that. I don't even know if it's a man or a woman.

I thought you said it was a woman.

I never said it was a woman.

So why are you even telling me this?

I don't know.

Obviously, I had to tell someone.

So I'm just someone?

[ Javier ] Mommy, stop.

We're never going to be more than just a handful of needs in

search of a resolution, we're both incapable of fulfilling.

- It's just-- - Here you go again with that mumbo jumbo

word justification for us not being together.

- [ Javier ] Mommy, stop. - Julia.

Sorry, Julia, I can't listen to your pain.

It doesn't belong to me.

This was, this was just a big mistake.

You know what? Stop the car.

- [ Javier ] Mommy! - Oh, please. Come on.

- Come on. - Stop the car.

- I'm not gonna leave you here. - Please, stop the car!

[ Javier ] Mommy, stop.

[ suspenseful music ]

Stop the car!

All right, just calm down. Calm down!

- [ Javier ] Stop. - Okay, okay, okay, wait.

[ Javier ] Mommy.

[ The Writer ] Hang on, hang on.

- [ Javier ] Mommy... - What are you doing?

Hold on. Hold on. Wait!

[ Javier ] Mommy, mommy! He's really, really mad.

[ Julie ] We'll be okay, Javier. Don't worry, baby.

We'll be home soon.

Passing story.

[ sighs ]

[ door opens ]

[ Julia ] Don't forget the glasses.

[ The Writer ] Give me.

- Here. Here. - Yeah.

Too bad he isn't yours.

[ romantic music ]

[ belt clattering ]

[ unzipped trousers ]

[ Writer softly grunts ]

[ Julia soft moans ]

[ both moaning ]

[ Julia ] Hey.

Wake up.

- Wake up! - [ mumbles ]

[ Julia ] Come on!

- [ exhales sharply ] - I can't let Javier see you in my bed.

- Come on. - [ grunts ]

I'll lose my alimony.

Here.

Thank you.

[ melancholic music ]

[ The Writer ] I shouldn't kid myself

that the center of the messages is a woman.

A woman I could fall in love with.

I've been dying a bit every day.

I've been dying slowly every day from my life.

[ birds chirping ]

"Paying attention to another human

is the purest and rarest form of love."

S. W.

[ mysterious music ]

Excuse me. Did you see anybody writing on the pavement there?

- Uh-uh. - Right there on the pavement.

- Did you see anybody writing? - Uh-uh.

[ light suspenseful music ]

"I don't like simpletons. If they were in charge,

literature would have disappeared from the face of the Earth.

I hate that great part of humanity called normal,

which each day destroys my world.

I hate the people they call good natured

because given the opportunity

they have the potential of doing extraordinary evil."

Wait a minute.

I know this.

No. No, no, no, no. I know this. I know who this is.

Enrique Vila. Enrique Vila.

[ laughter ]

Enrique Vila.

That's right.

[ phone ringing ]

[ phone beeps ]

[ Julia ] Hello.

- Are you there? - [ The Writer ] Could it be Julia

- sending me messages? - [ Julia ] Hola. This is Julia.

- [ The Writer ] She knows my taste. - [ Julia ] Are you there?

- [ The Writer ] My place of work. - [ Julia ] Pick up the phone.

[ soft grunt ]

[ Julia ] Are you there?

[ exhales sharply ]

[ Julia ] Are you listening to me?

Hello?

Can I bring Javier by tomorrow?

[ The Writer ] Better not be Julia.

- [ Julia ] Are you there? - Yes.

[ Julia ] Can I bring Javier by tomorrow for a couple of hours?

- I... - No, no, no, no, no. Not here. Um...

- Not here. I... - You are all right?

Yes, yes. I...

Why don't you bring Javier to my friend Diego's place tomorrow?

Cause I'm checking in on some renovations I'm doing in his house.

- You sure you're alright? - So... Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Listen, I'll take care of him. Don't worry. Okay?

Okay.

[ hangs up the phone ]

[ Carmen ] I have only two things to say.

One...

...I'm really sick and tired

of using the term "humanity"

to refer to all people, "manity."

Why not just use men and women?

Two little words and half of the human race would be grateful.

[ audience laughing ]

And now we finish with a, a thought

from the French philosopher Deria.

Derrida. Why did she say Deria?

"Forget logic. It is cut in the conflict

between truth and lies."

[ applauses ]

[ Pedro ] Thank you, professor Carmen Lindo.

Our past is our proud reminder

of our solid commitment

to the development of educated citizens.

Since 1903, we have graduated highly skilled students prepared

to compete successfully in our complex world.

The future is full of great opportunities.

- [ Lina ] I'll see you later. - [ Pedro ] To continue our dedication

- to carry on our mission of excellence. - Wait a minute. See you later.

- [ Pedro ] To celebrate our accomplishments... - [ The Writer ] Excuse me. Sorry.

...is part of our life.

[ light suspenseful music ]

[ Pedro ] ...of dreams.

[ The Writer ] Who is stalking me?

How do they know where I live, work?

Even the contents of my dreams.

[ woman ] Well, you application is missing page ten.

"You knew that only an exact copy could guarantee the truth."

"You knew that only an exact copy could guarantee the truth."

It must be Kafka.

Excuse me, did you see somebody go into my office?

No.

[ woman ] Forget about him. No chance with that man. We've tried.

[ The Writer ] How could someone fire

a random shot and hit the target?

Who could know how my brain works?

How could a message express my inner feelings?

[ light suspenseful music continues ]

[ The Writer ] I've kept people at a distance all my life.

Now I yearn for someone I've never met.

- [ Javier whispers ] - [ The Writer ] Javier?

Where are you?

[ Javier giggling ]

Hide-and-seek. You hide, I seek.

- [ Javier giggles ] - [ imitating monster ]

Grrr.

[ The Writer ] I used to play this game with my friend Diego

when we were kids.

But, he's in Argentina.

Where are you, Javier?

- [ Javier giggles ] - Who's that?

Who hit my butt?

Who's the little butt monster?

Where is he?

[ both screams ]

[ Javier ] ...protect me.

[ imitating monster ]

[ The Writer ] The irony doesn't escape me...

...the dialogue, when it begins

is another writer's words.

[ Javier mumbling ]

[ light suspenseful music ]

Game on.

[ thunder rumbling ]

[ rain pattering ]

- What? - [ skateboard rolling ]

"You have not understood anything.

Tomorrow on Paz Granela, El Ático de la Abuela...

...search for me...

...until you find me.

S. W.

S. W.

S. W.

Shakespeare William?

Simon West?

No, Simon-- Simone?

Simone Weil?

Simon Weil but Simone Weil.

Simone Weil.

[ keyboard cackling ]

Aha.

But why is she searching for me?

[ skateboard approaching ]

[ panting ]

[ The Writer ] Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

[ The Writer chuckles ]

[ doorbell chimes ]

[ woman ] You are going to have to come in

to see for yourself.

I don't keep a file on my books.

Yes, it is in as good enough alphabetical order as I can manage.

Good day, adiós, and fuck you.

We're closed. Fermé. Cerrado.

[ stutters ] What do you mean closed?

You deaf? Surd?

No, I'm not surd.

The door was open. Ouvert.

We're closed for inventory.

Well, how am I suppose to know then?

Hmm... [ clicks tongue ] Aha!

The gust of the wind.

Okay, listen, I am, I need your help.

It's very important.

Important to you, huh?

Well, obviously.

- [ speaking in French ] - [ stutters ]

Listen, did someone leave something for me here?

A message from a young girl.

G-- uh, glasses, short hair, 19--

No one leaves messages.

- Are you sure? - Cross my heart.

They, they said it was here somewhere.

- Please. - Go ahead.

Help yourself.

- Okay. - There's a room.

[ gentle music ]

Simone Weil.

YOU ARRIVED!

Humph. [ speaking in French ]

Un cadeau? Gift?

- [ chuckles ] Anything else? - Who sold you this book?

I don't understand.

[ speaking in French ]

Uh, I, I don't know. Someone.

Let me see.

Let me see it.

A woman. Une femme.

When, when did she come?

Several times. She, she buys our things.

When was she here, exactly? D-- what is she like?

When did she give you this book?

[ speaking in French ]

Humph. Maybe, uh...

a week ago, um,

[ speaking in French ]

[ laughs ]

You know, you're loco.

Well, I am a writer. What do you expect?

Please.

Please, do you know her?

You know her name?

Do you have a receipt?

[ clicks tongue ]

I'm sorry. It, it is crucial.

Life or death?

All right, let's see.

See, there it is. Simone Weil.

No, no. That's the title of the book.

- No, that is her name. - No, it's the, the title. Look.

No, that is her name.

[ woman chuckles ]

All that matters to me is numbers, not names.

It says three, three books. Trois livres.

She bought two other French books.

[ speaking in French ]

You see, that is her signature.

I pay five dollar.

She signed. See, all it is in black and white.

Why would she not write her real name?

Huh? Why?

[ staff chattering ]

- [ Glenda ] He's reading the book. - [ Li ] Yeah.

I need to bring him something.

- [ Glenda ] Ha! I'll get it. - Wait. Wait.

[ muffled chatter ]

[ sighs ]

You like Simone Weil?

What?

[ stutters ] You like Simone Weil?

Oh. I...

I...

- Here. - [ stutters ]

[ light suspenseful music ]

[ The Writer ] The oddest question I've been asked in my life.

Is she messenger or sender?

"Page 46."

"Simone Weil was not aware of the carnal nature of everyday life

nor was she aware of the conventions, and rituals, and social behavior."

[ water splash ]

[ romantic music in Spanish ]

[ moaning ]

[ The Writer ] How could I not dream of love with a body made of words?

[ phone beeps ]

Hi, I'm Simone. About time, I present myself.

Please forgive me if I have created a great inconvenience.

I can't see you till Thursday, which is my day off.

Let's meet at the book store in Rio Piedras by your Three in One.

I said "Hola" to you, but you didn't recognize me.

Five p.m.

You don't have to.

- [ laughs ] - [ beep ]

Hi, I'm Simone.

About time, I present myself.

- [ laughing ] - Please forgive me if I have created a great inconvenience.

I can't see you till Thursday, which is my day off.

Let's meet at the book store...

[ upbeat music ]

I said "Hola" to you, but you didn't...

Five p.m.

I may not will be the same again.

My fortress has been breached.

I've never felt more a prisoner of the unforeseeable.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I'm Simone. About time...

[ The Writer ] Although I counted the days

and the hours, I did not wanted it to happen.

I had fallen in love with the tactics of approach that seemed a work of art.

[ suspenseful music ]

Hola. Um, do you know where my collection of Three in One will be?

Um, they sold the last one.

- Who bought it? - Sorry, uh, I was on a break. I'll...

Uh, they have a receipt of purchase,

but-- not a name.

Sorry.

You know how to arrive.

Hey.

W-- well, d-- you know how to hide. [ chuckles ]

Please forgive my entanglements.

So you're using the phone again... [ inaudible ]

If I had done that, you wouldn't have come.

I've been to two of your lectures.

Why Simone Weil?

I like her name.

[ chuckles ]

She would study on her knees.

- On her knees? - Yeah.

She would read for hours on her knees.

She was half insane yet lucid.

She never pretended to escape from her reality.

Why play all the games?

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Ultimately, nothing can be hidden.

Ciao.

[ The Writer ] After waiting so long for her,

no beauty could ever compare to the one I imagined.

- [ Glenda ] Li. - [ speaking in Chinese ]

- He's here. - [ speaking in Chinese ]

Hey.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

[ melancholic music ]

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Hmm.

Li no cook.

- [ speaking in Chinese ] - [ all laughing ]

[ Li ] Come on. [ chuckling ]

[ gentle melancholic music ]

[ The Writer ] From the cold, humid,

and smoke-filled plains of Beijing,

from the time of the cultural revolution,

the child arrived in Puerto Rico at the age of six.

She does not allow herself to remember the... [ unintelligible ]

The unending rice fields,

the taste of boiled potatoes,

the lap of her grandmother, a couple of songs.

[ sighs ]

Notice your lower self

to remember a family broken.

This is for you.

[ Li giggles ]

[ The Writer ] Her father dying from cold and hunger

because he had Russian manuals of geometry,

an old translation of Madame Bovary,

and records of Charlie Parker.

Some cultural revolution.

- Keep going. - [ The Writer panting ] Okay.

All right.

Okay, okay. Stop.

- [ The Writer ] Huh? - [ Li chuckles ]

Okay.

[ dramatic music ]

What do you think?

I, I have no words.

[ laughs ] A writer has no words?

[ both laughing ]

[ exhales sharply ] Hmm.

I craved the luxury of silence.

I lived in noise all my life.

From Beijing to Hong Kong

to Arecibo,

to San Juan.

Noise in the kitchen.

Noise from the traffic.

Noise from family.

It's just noise.

Can't you leave to find your silence?

The world of [ inaudible ]

[ inaudible ] is, um,

- consist of one inhabitant, me. - [ The Writer chuckles ]

But it's, uh, planet in the universe on the Chinese laws.

It's a planet where reading is a weapon of choice.

Hmm.

[ The Writer ] A man and a woman are transformed...

...when they can hold each other's gaze in silence.

From that moment on,

you build a story from which you can not back away.

I, I must tell you.

I'm a lesbian.

And I must warn you...

...I'm a dinosaur.

[ both laugh ]

Oh, I have to go.

Hurry.

[ bell tolling ]

[ The Writer ] We are on a journey to where no maps exist.

[ woman ] He's just coming in. Alfaguara, Spain.

Hello.

Yes.

Publication of my books? But...

So, you're not gonna

accept my story because... [ inhales sharply ]

...of the date of the publication of my books?

No, no, no, no.

Wait, I thought this was in Anthology. I--

No, this is insane. What about Máximo Noreña?

No, that's-- you gotta be kidding me.

You know what? That's fine. That's fine.

Because I see what it is. Okay?

So, obviously, recognition follow some sort

of whim or, or, or friendships

or something like that. You know what? That's fine.

That's fine. Fuck Spain. Puerto Rico will publish us.

- Viva Puerto Rico. - [ woman 2 ] Sí. Viva.

Eso.

[ suspenseful music ]

[ The Writer ] So...

...where would you like to go?

Are you deaf?

I'm sorry.

The publishers of...

...in Anthology just decided not to include me. So...

...I know it's no excuse, but you think I have thick skin by now. But...

I'm sure they didn't read you.

I, I'm sorry.

I must filled your head with so many questions.

If it's any consolation, you must done the same to me.

[ The Writer ] There are no answers.

So... what would you like to do?

Take me to your house.

Only to promise not to--

Breach the great wall of China?

[ both chuckles ]

[ engine revving ]

[ gentle music ]

[ The Writer moans softly ]

[ breaths heavily ]

[ Li moans softly ]

[ sighs ]

[ moaning ]

[ both moan ]

[ belt clacking ]

[ gentle music continues ]

[ moaning ]

[ The Writer ] The battle to find an answer had ended.

We went in blind, not seeing the abyss before us.

A lesbian had fallen in love with the man

and he had responded.

But she wrote the rules.

[ "Haze" by Calma Carmona ]

[ shutter clicks ]

[ Li laughs ]

Oh, wait.

Okay.

[ The Writer ] A Chinese girl was creating a work of art

with materials from a local pharmacy.

This work was born from love and rage.

This one. This one. This one. This one. Okay.

We're gonna put it high and it's gonna be okay.

I found it.

Here.

Come.

Here. [ giggling ]

Here.

Okay. Okay, okay.

Save me.

Here, take my photo.

[ shutter clicks ]

[ police siren wails ]

[ upbeat music in Spanish ]

[ moaning ]

[ both giggling ]

[ inaudible ]

You okay?

Hmm?

[ sighs ]

How about now?

- [ chuckles ] - You like it?

Oh, you might get this too.

[ exclaims ]

Oh! [ gasps ]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. [ giggles ]

Thank you. [ giggles ]

[ sighs ] Anything for my Li Chao.

Diego. Die-- [ laughs ]

I got, I got a lot to tell you, but so far so good.

Yeah, I know, I can't right now, but let me call you back tonight. Okay?

Okay. God bless.

[ grunts ]

[ speaking in Spanish ]

I can't even get into my own bookshelves anymore

because I have put my stuff in there. This is pretty crazy.

Li Chao. Li Chao.

[ laughs ] This is crazy.

Oh, my gosh.

[ light suspenseful music ]

[ The Writer ] They like it.

[ chuckles ]

[ gentle music ]

[ chattering in Chinese ]

Wait. My uncle is here.

Okay.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

This is Wen Da, my great-uncle.

- [ speaking in Chinese ] - This is my cousin Bai.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Do you like Chinese tea?

- Yes. Yes. - Chinese tea.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

If you drink the Chinese tea every day, you'll live long and be healthy.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

- What happened? - Oh. [ chuckles ]

Please, forgive Bai. He's always been like this.

Wen Da was a notary in China. He studied arts.

These are all his paintings.

Beautiful. Tell him.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Uh, do you wanna have a look?

[ Wen Da chuckles ]

[ speaking in Chinese ]

This is what were used for calligraphy.

Oh.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

- This is Zen. - Oh, Zen.

- I have read the, the Tao. - Tao.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Uh, Tao is the divine way of the universe.

[ The Writer ] Okay, uh, why are you in Puerto Rico?

- How, how--? - He came with our group.

Um, he's not really my great-uncle,

- but I love him all the same. - [ Li and Wen Da giggles ]

He was a cook for our restaurant for many years.

But he's different from the others.

D-- do you see, he have... [ giggles ]

...books and he's a painter.

Yes, no, you, you are an artist.

- [ speaking in Chinese ] - [ Li chuckles ]

So, do you come to see him often?

As often as I can.

He's the only one I consider family.

What about the other guy? The, um... [ clicks tongue ] uh, um, your cousin, Bai?

He doesn't count.

Something happened?

[ snickers ]

A lot of things happened, but it doesn't matter anymore.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Nice to meet you. Thank you.

Come back.

Oh.

Li Chao...

...never love.

[ man shouting in the distance ]

Why didn't you translate all that?

Too complicated.

[ romantic music ]

[ The Writer ] Hmm.

[ The Writer grunts ]

[ The Writer moaning ]

[ moaning continues ]

[ Li exclaims ]

[ The Writer ] I did not understand why she needed me to give myself to her.

Why she was so insistent in possessing me.

As the future did not matter.

But I could feel the birth of terror.

I felt on the edge of the abyss.

Are you ever gonna let me?

Let you what?

Let you what?

To make love completely.

[ sighs ]

[ The Writer ] I could not continue to stare at the wall of China

and not know why I couldn't enter.

Why was I so obsessed with a woman who kept herself from men?

I love you, Li.

It's natural for me to want to.

It's important for me.

Yes.

So then why not?

We do everything else and you seem to like it.

[ Li ] There are things that are difficult.

Okay.

Explain.

[ Li ] I can't.

Maybe it's a Chinese thing.

But you trust me.

I mean, it's different between us, no?

[ Li ] I know.

And you started this game, you...

...could stop.

Well, I didn't.

You prefer women?

Is that it?

That's...

That's not very clear anymore...

...since I've been with you.

Let's think about it, Li Chao.

What could happen?

Everything.

[ suspenseful music ]

[ phone ringing ]

[ phone beeps ]

[ Li ] I can't see you for a while.

I'm not well. I'll let you know when I'm better.

[ phone beeps ]

[ eerie music ]

[ melancholic music ]

[ The Writer ] I was driven by the vague hope of finding a way out

into another lifetime in another world.

I, like the island, I'm obsessed with salvation and the escape.

I felt the pain between these four walls

accumulated throughout the years.

I feel it's eternity.

When I die, my pain will live on here.

Who knows for how long? [ sighs ]

[ skateboard rolling ]

[ bell dings ]

[ sniffs ]

[ clears throat ]

[ door opens ]

[ Li ] I have more chances of saving myself in hell than in heaven.

Come to the Cinema Paradise

and find me in the image making machine.

[ melancholic music continues ]

[ birds flapping wings ]

Li Chao?

Hello?

Image making machines.

[ unintelligible ]

Come on! I'm here. Where are you?

[ giggling ]

I'm not getting anything easy.

THE THIRD "THREE IN ONE" DO NOT BE LATE

[ thunder rumbling ]

[ rain pattering ]

[ light suspenseful music ]

Excuse me.

YOU DID NOT COME

What--

[ unintelligible ]

What?

She f-- Shit! I hate these fucking games.

[ grunts ]

Hola, Alfredo.

Have you seen a Chinese girl?

A Chinese girl?

- Yes, Chinese girl. - Uh...

The girlfriend of Carmencita?

- Girlfriend? - Yes, the Chinese friend of Carmen Lindo?

Yes, that one.

She was here, but she left.

Do you know where she went?

By the way, do you know when Carmen come back from California?

[ The Writer ] I now stand looking into the abyss

of what she has not told me.

Silence.

Lies or truth.

[ tires screeching ]

[ car honking ]

[ panting ]

Oh, God.

[ speaking in Spanish ]

[ melancholic music ]

[ eerie music ]

[ The Writer ] Hot chocolate and cheese.

My mother used to give us during hurricanes.

I don't dare ask if she had been Carmen Lindo's lover.

I hoped life would give us a chance to be reborn.

[ "W.I.W.Y.G. 2.0" by Calma Carmona ]

[ laughing ]

No.

[ Li giggling ]

Hey.

[ giggling continues ]

[ both screaming ]

[ The Writer ] Look at this. [ grunting ]

[ classical music ]

[ Li ] Oh!

[ Li breathing heavily ]

[ both moaning ]

[ both moaning ]

[ moaning continues ]

[ both moan loudly ]

[ birds chirping ]

[ footsteps receding ]

Is this how you say goodbye?

[ sobbing ] No, no.

[ sniffles ]

What did your cousin Bai do to you?

He raped me.

When?

When I was 13.

And, when I was 14.

And, when I was 15.

[ sobs ] He would come to my room after I fall asleep.

[ sighs ]

I didn't know what he was doing.

I didn't want to know what he was doing.

I knew it was something terrible.

I couldn't tell Mother.

[ inhales sharply ]

I tried to convince myself

that it was something to do with love.

Like in Hong Kong pictures.

When I was 15...

...I got pregnant.

The owner's wife gave me some special herbs from Hong Kong.

They locked me up in a room on the rooftop for ten days.

Until between fevers, and spasms,

and hemorrhage.

I aborted my baby.

They sent Bai to a restaurant in San Germán.

And I didn't see him for years.

I was surrounded by rumor and dirt.

[ sobs ] My mother died...

...thinking I had disgraced her.

Convinced that I would never be happy again.

[ sobs ]

Even you can't give me what Bai took.

That's why I'm going.

I wanted you to know that I was willing to go to places that I never thought I could.

I needed to know Bai was not in you.

Was he?

Was he, Li?

No.

[ sobbingly ] No.

[ sniffles ]

You don't deserve my problems.

Your book dazzled me.

And when I saw you, I liked you.

You can't imagine how much I enjoyed fantasizing with a man.

I had only been loved with women before.

I never thought we could meet, so it happened. I...

I wasn't prepared.

I was very alone.

I wish something different could happen.

I wish I could be like everyone else again.

I don't know. The love I feel for you is a form of use.

That's also why I'm leaving.

Please, don't try to understand or forgive me.

[ sobs ]

I can't stay. Everything will be worse.

Is it Carmencita?

What?

Carmen Lindo.

College professor.

She knows you.

So, you've seen her.

I have spoken to her.

She just came back.

So, that's why you are leaving me.

No.

So, it's just a coincidence then?

No. Like I told you in the beginning.

I was a lesbian.

I share a history with her, like I share with you.

Li and Lindo.

- Like a joke. - [ clicks tongue ]

- Don't make fun of her. - [ The Writer snickers ]

[ Li ] I don't care what do you think.

She's my teacher and she helped me.

- Now, you know my story. - I don't know your whole story.

And what you've told me is too late.

I don't think you prefer that I didn't come for the first meeting.

I wasn't substituting you for her.

[ sighs ] And why are you running away

after what happened last night?

Because I don't think I can live with you.

Why not, Li Chao?

Why not?

Because I told you.

Bai raped me and I didn't do anything.

I didn't protest, I didn't call out.

Because I felt that I was in love with that dog.

[ melancholic music ]

And because after I couldn't be with another man, I...

B--

Because, I...

...I don't know how to love.

[ sobs ] I never felt it.

Not when I was six, not when I was 13, and not when I was 15.

[ sobbing continues ]

Not with Carmen, maybe, maybe with you.

Li Chao?

[ speaking in Chinese ] Li gone.

You no come back. [ speaking in Chinese ]

Li big trouble with the boss.

Why? What happened?

Li go up to roof. Bang on Bai door.

[ speaking in Chinese ] Cannot get up.

Big fight. We go up hearing Bai, people are awake.

Li took her bag and run.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Li love you.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

[ speaking in Chinese ]

[ traffic humming ]

Li gone.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

That's my fault.

She disappeared.

I'm sorry. Uh...

But, I love her.

I love her art...

...her soul...

...but her art...

She's-- you, you...

You taught her well.

She's gifted.

Gifted. [ speaks in Chinese ]

[ speaks in Chinese ]

[ Wen sighs ]

Li Chao.

More... [ speaks in Chinese ] than me.

No.

I... [ chuckles ]

She's gifted. Yes. [ speaks in Chinese ]

I, I gave her this paper.

I gave her.

I wanted to send her to a great art school.

But, I couldn't.

[ speaking in Chinese ]

Oh, yeah. Yes.

Wait, there's a message.

She's trying to erase...

...the name of Bai.

She's trying to erase the name... of Carmen.

This art is a testimony...

...to her silences.

This is her attempt to...

...to battle...

...to, to exorcise...

...her pain.

You can see her anger in her pen.

[ Wen Da exhales sharply ]

[ speaking in Chinese ]

She didn't leave me.

She just lost her war.

[ melancholic music ]

[ The Writer ] Her drawing was her attempt to say what she already knew.

Li had given herself knowing she couldn't ever be with me.

That moment was her final goodbye.

She would not come to see me and tell me what I now know.

One day, I will hear from her.

When we mean nothing to each other.

Li's not here, okay?

I didn't come to see her.

I need to talk to you.

You're Glenda, right?

- Yeah. - Li told me about you.

Just a few minutes, okay? Look, I need answers.

Go to the park by the lagoon. I'll be there in ten minutes.

[ doorbell chimes ]

[ Glenda ] I was aware of you before you guys started.

What do you mean before we started?

[ Glenda ] Well, Li told me everything.

We're friends, you know.

The thing about the notes, and how you met,

and how she hid to watch you.

Yeah, of course. She was watching me.

Yeah. She's crazy.

She swallowed one of your sad books

and stared at your pictures for days.

When you'd come in...

...at the restaurant,

I'd run upstairs and tell her.

Were you two ever...?

Lovers? No. We're just friends.

I knew she followed you.

I went her many times.

Spying on your reactions, so as to confuse you.

She has a new little friend.

- The skateboard. - Hmm.

Lee could not do this alone.

So...

You never saw us. It--

It's kind of funny.

I kept telling her either leave him alone

or just say "Hi."

You are very patient.

And you know the rest of the story.

Not everything.

Well, all I can say is that Li loves you and was very happy with you.

[ sighs ]

Then, why would...

Why would she disappear?

Because the woman she was with before you came back.

Carmen?

You mean to tell me that it's that simple, that...

...Li just forgot about everything

that happened between us in the blink of an eye?

The view are strange, she's even stranger.

But, why Carmen now?

Wasn't she a, a thing of her past?

Yeah.

Look, they know each other from years ago.

When Lee started university,

Carmen helped her,

even paid her classes.

Lee has nothing, you know.

So you're saying Li owes her,

though she feels like she has to show her gratitude.

It's not that simple. You know that.

Then why, why would she do this?

She's to escape.

She could escape with me.

[ chuckles ]

You don't need to escape.

[ mysterious suspenseful music ]

[ engine turns off ]

Good afternoon, colleague.

Looks like you two are corralling to come into Carmencita's, huh?

Kind of.

[ Máximo ] Huh. She called me 20 times.

Drop everything for some visiting Spanish writer.

Humph. I guess she needed to provide

some local fauna who at least have read some of his books.

[ chuckles ] But he will not know a fucking thing about us.

That puts me in exquisitely bad humor. Humph.

Today will be Madrid against the Americas.

The revival of the conquest, a chance to rewrite history.

[ laughs ]

Come.

You do not want to get to the party too early.

[ pool balls strikes ]

Sir?

It's, uh, it's been a long time since I've smoked.

Oh.

I return to the vice of writers the same way I left it.

Smoking.

Produces an anxiety of low level vibrations

that helps me stay in front of that empty page.

- Hmm. - Writing is waiting.

You must dominate that dead time between paragraphs and words.

Smoking makes you stronger than the signs.

When I stop I read different.

[ Máximo ] Hmm.

Cheers.

Cheers.

How do you know Carmen Lindo?

I don't.

I was on a panel with her once.

Were you invited to the party?

I wasn't invited.

I came to see a woman.

That university world of hierarchies suits you even less than me.

Who's the chick?

Her name is... Li Chao.

Ah!

Extra ordinary... my student.

Yeah, that's why I came.

She's your... bo, bo, bo, bo?

Was, or is, I don't know.

I'm not sure. That's why I have to go.

I cannot say no to Carmen.

Long time ago,

Carmen and I, we had an affair.

And we were about to get married.

Books united us and women separated us.

I must warn you.

Professor Lindo has announced

with very little modesty that she's been hired by

I don't know who and she's going to Los Angeles.

- [ people chattering ] - [ Máximo ] As my friend, I guess you have.

Whoa! [ laughs ]

Hola.

I would like to present a friend.

I'm sure you wanna talk to him.

He's the author of Three in One.

How do you do?

[ whispering ] What are you doing here?

[ whispering ] I came to see you.

This is not an appropriate moment.

You gave me no choice.

You should go.

You'll cause me a problem.

And you don't think you've caused me one?

[ Máximo ] ...he's a very good friend.

And also a very talented writer.

I hope he isn't a bother.

Of course not.

Li has spoken to me about you.

I was anxious to meet you.

Besides, the two of you should talk.

[ Li ] Hmm.

Stay as long as you like.

As Daria says, "I never give in to the temptation to be difficult."

- [ The Writer ] Hmm. - [ Carmen ] Right, Li?

[ chuckles ] I'm happy.

I can assure you

there is no bad blood on my side.

I wouldn't have thought any less of you if there was, my dear.

Mm-hmm. "To pretend,

- only pretend to pretend." - [ Máximo ] Derrida.

My dear, can't you quote someone else?

Máximo, you haven't make me laugh in 20 years.

[ Máximo ] Mm.

And, here he is.

He's wearing his uniform.

I bet you, he's not wearing any socks.

Garcia Pardo, here are your friends,

excellent Puerto Rico writers.

Just call us writers, Carmen.

My editor tells me, for the size of Puerto Rico,

it imports an extra ordinary amount of books from Spain.

You may not have noticed, but we're just as Spanish speaking

as any other country in Latin America.

Yeah, but you are, uh, part of the monster of the north.

As José Martí call it, Uncle Sam.

That doesn't make us less of a nation

than Spain, Argentina, or Mexico.

In Spain, a writer can be a professional.

It's harder to do that here.

Madrid, Barcelona are cultural industries

where writers can live by writing.

We can only dream to write for the world.

No disappointment leads to literature.

Disappointment doesn't create readership.

And I like to be read.

Hmm.

- Huh. - [ Máximo ] So,

nobody really invited you to the Ireland?

Well, actually, no.

Not a group of fascinated readers?

Not any university or y-- cultural institute from somewhere from here?

Spain financed your trip to promote Spanish culture to sell more books, no?

And what's wrong with that?

You have the main successfulness

writing into simple salesmanship.

I perceive a little frustration.

Maybe Puerto Rico being such a small island

- has to do with it. - Maybe.

Spain has always been provincial

around like us. She doesn't realize it.

She's incapable of any humility.

You and your countrymen are living in a bubble

inside your own heads.

Don't take your frustration out on Spain.

We're not your enemy.

A writer is an athlete of the feet.

And that is the problem

- and tragedy with Garcia Pardo. - Enough.

Garcia Pardo is a guest.

It is not the treatment he deserves.

And what treatment is that?

Come. I have someone else to introduce you.

What were you doing?

I can't talk right now.

- So when? - Later.

Later-later or later-never?

Later.

What's wrong?

I'm scared.

Of what? Why?

Cause I'm alone.

You have Carmen.

And you can be with me.

[ snickers ] It's the same.

It's not true. Let's just--

We can fix this. Let's just talk about it.

I told you, I can't. Not here, not now.

And don't think Carmen is a bed of roses

and don't think that I don't care about you.

I'm trapped.

Why would you say that?

How are you trapped?

'Cause I can lose my only way out.

So you really are leaving Puerto Rico?

Yeah.

[ sighs ]

I really hope that she helps you with your art, Li.

You have to fulfill your talent.

Yeah.

So, this is it?

- Hmm? - [ sobs ] I--

- Hmm? - [ sobs ] I promise we'll see each other again.

Have you met Glenda?

- Hello. - No.

We're working in the same restaurant.

[ Glenda ] Yeah, nice to meet you.

- Uh, you're Li's friend? - Mm-hmm.

- Delighted. - Same here.

Carmen is calling you.

Ah. Li, we go?

Wait. Wait.

[ Carmen ] Come on.

[ melancholic music ]

[ The Writer ] "Paying attention to another human is the purest and rarest form of love."

[ computer chimes ]

Happiness is linked to hope.

I hope Li would come back.

I hoped for happiness.

I hoped for the impossible.

The anxiety that I felt was only comparable

to when I waited for her messages,

to when I fear that I had lost someone

I hadn't found.

This tastes like the final agony...

...the absurd absence of a body

and soul I believed in was blind faced.

[ horn honking ]

Writer?

Writer?

Writer?

[ horn honking continues ]

Writer?

Writer?

- Writer? - [ slams on door ]

Writer?

Writer?

[ melancholic music continues ]

Writer?

Writer?

Writer?

Writer?

[ horn honking continues ]

Writer?

Writer?

Writer?

[ honking continues ]

Writer?

Writer?

Writer?

My Writer?

[ unintelligible ]

Li, get in. Come on.

[ Li sobbing ]

[ Li ] I've learned to live with minimal needs.

My lesbianism is an irony.

I've never known the feeling of respect,

of being on the same level as another human being

as I did with you.

I don't know what it means to be free to escape.

I must go far away.

This is my attempt to say,

"I'm sorry."

[ melancholic music continues ]

[ The Writer ] This was the answer to "Why me?"

Why I was the one.

She was my other half.

The impossible half of two bodies that have not learned

to recognize themselves in anyone else.

[ Li ] The city with all that he had left.

The territory to which he belonged.

Everything he had.

[ water rushing ]

[ glass cracking ]

[ The Writer ] I could never leave this city that I had walked without shame,

Using it as a blank page.

The agony tied me forever to its streets.

I want to write.

No matter what.

[ gentle music in Spanish ]