Original subtitles

You can look all over this great big world. You can look down every street

and every bookstore on every dance floor and every girl you meet.

You can drive out to California and chase down all your dreams.

I know you'll find someone beautiful, but you'll never find

me.

I'm just a slave to the web that you spin.

I'm in so deep, hanging on by a thread.

You know, I hate oatmeal. It's not food, it's pain.

I want to have what you're having. How about a grilled cheese?

No, you can't have cheese. It's not on the doctor's list.

It's doomed, all right?

Scotch. Call me crazy, I'm going to say no to that too.

How about a measly old beer?

Okay.

Really, Colonel?

Torture.

Tell me about it.

Hey, Owen.

How's it going? How's he doing?

Baby steps.

Do I need to send in a rescue team for you?

No. Are you between scenes?

Yeah.

Yep.

Well, listen, thanks for calling to check up on him. I'm glad the movie's

going well, and I'm really proud of you.

I'll talk soon, okay?

Okay. Bye.

Guess his leg is broke, huh?

Don't you get it?

He's checking up on you, okay?

This is his big break, his dream.

Is it ever enough for you?

You don't have an appointment.

I'm sorry.

Please help.

No, I'm not prepared to do a reading. No.

I'm sorry.

Please.

I'm lost.

And I need you to do what you said you would do.

Yeah, well, you know, sometimes there's energy blocks between people, and I

think that's what's happened to us.

I'm so tired. I can't.

Do this any longer.

All right. I'll try to find a way to help you.

How you going?

Hey.

Cheers. Cheers.

How you doing?

Good.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Nothing. Boy, I have known you for a long time.

Something's not right.

Is it your father?

No.

Then what's going on? Why don't you let me help you out?

Lost a movie weeks ago.

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

I really am. You know what they did?

They hired the producer's son.

So fucking embarrassing.

Dude, that happens all the time.

Come on, man. I mean, the entertainment industry is all about... This was my

shot. This was it. Really?

Yeah. Oh, and they're going to be other parts.

Now, what you need to do is tell your family.

They'll understand.

If I know Gina, she's going to want to kick somebody's ass. And Gaia, she's

going to rally around you.

Boy, you need to start talking.

Yeah.

What about Sammy?

I mean, that's what relationships are based on, isn't it? Love and trust and

being honest. I've been lying to her the whole time.

What is wrong with you?

You know, it's beautiful outside. Why don't we go for a walk?

No, thanks.

You have to leave the house eventually.

Yeah, well, I'm not going out with the cane anymore.

You know what? Ever since I was a little girl, you cared more about appearances

than what was actually going on in your life. It's good to see nothing has

changed. That's not true.

The doctors say if you don't exercise, you might lose the use of your legs.

Doctors are all quacks.

Will you just be a good daddy and humor me? For once.

I got a question. What are you doing here?

What? What are you doing here? I mean, you had this big, important job, and you

got the real active love life. You never cease telling me about why you're out

doing those things.

You don't want to know about my life, especially my love life.

Are you in between women?

Oh, no. Yes or no?

Do you really want to have this conversation?

Yes.

I'm taking a break.

A break?

What's a break?

No, okay? No, I'm not in between women, okay?

I just realized.

Realized?

I realized I'm in love with someone.

Someone so special I didn't feel worthy when I was with her.

ended up breaking her heart.

And now we have a friendship that I cherish.

But she's with someone else, and she's happy, and I'll just have to love her

from a distance.

And I accept that.

You accept that?

What the hell kind of crap attitude is that?

Hi, Alan. How are you?

Well, I'll tell you how I am.

You are either not giving Gina my messages or she's too busy to call me

back.

And with a major deadline looming, I do not have a finished design on my desk.

Well, I know she's been working really hard on them. I'm sure she'll be done

very soon.

Well, I hope so, because I'm...

going to ask for those finished designs to be delivered to my office in 24

hours. And if they are not there, I'm going to have to pull her off this

project, which means a lot of money down the drain.

My money's on Gina.

That's it.

She'll have them to you by tomorrow.

Let's hope so, because all those investors have lawyers, and those

lawyers like money.

Gotcha.

Hey. Hey, yourself.

Beautiful day, huh?

I know.

I know. I thought I'd try to finish my book.

What's up with you?

Oh, just taking a walk. Trying to clear my head a bit.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm hung up about a decision I have to make. I'm trying to decide if I'm going

to keep a secret from a friend that I care a lot about, knowing it would kill

me.

And I can't figure out what to do.

It'll take time to consider everything, but in the end, I think you should tell

them.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think you're right.

I think you found it right.

Show the rest of the book.

I will.

See ya.

Bye.

Enjoy. Your life, then.

Have a good night. I'm going to go hustle someone down at the pool hall.

Okay. Good night.

Oh, wow.

The hustler.

So, things are really heating up with Brandon.

He's an old soul.

What? What?

How's the movie? How's Sammy?

It's good.

Well, that's really boring. Okay. Thank you. Never mind. Gina, you?

I'm just peachy.

You're never going to believe who I ran into.

Richard McAndrews. I mean, it was totally random.

Are you kidding me? Well, that's perfect. Why don't you send him to see

the colonel? He's always the perfect son he wanted. Oh, my God. So what's he

doing in town? Is his family still here?

His mom. We're going to get together and have coffee and ketchup.

Ketchup? And then you're going to tell him you... Okay?

What? What?

He doesn't know that? No.

You never told him.

Because? Because of what?

Because things were complicated and there were a lot of things going on at

the time.

Is it? Yeah, because you took off when you broke up. Well, because, you know, I

was trying to avoid certain people.

Oh, speaking of which, how is the asshole? He's a fucking... Oh, no. Wait

a minute. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm trying a new tactic here.

Nice. Okay.

He's what you might imagine.

Him to be an asshole.

So, let's play this game.

And no one knows it.

If I were an asshole. We haven't done that in a really long time.

That's a good idea. I like it.

Wait, wait, wait.

What's that?

What's what?

If I were an asshole?

You've never played asshole?

No. You're an asshole. Hey.

What? If I were an asshole, you pick a topic or a person, basically. You say

whatever you want to say about them without worrying about going to hell.

Oh, this is like fun.

Okay, what's the topic?

I don't know. How about the colonel?

Oh. Easy? Yeah, that's easy. Okay, I go first.

All right.

If I were an asshole, I would register him as a Democratic gay man.

Oh!

Ouch! Can you do that?

Yeah!

They'd love it.

Oh, my God. You know, if I were an asshole, I would change my fucking last

name and never talk to him again.

Oh, that's such a Debbie Danner. Is that too much? Oh, yeah, that's way too much.

A little harsh? My turn.

All right.

If I were an asshole, I would get him drunk and take him to a strip bar,

leaving him only with his military ID for identification.

Come on, that's good. You know that's good, right?

He'd hang around his ball bag.

No,

stop it. Your aunt is present.

Oh, if I were an asshole, I would dump all of his expensive scotch and replace

it with generic.

Oh, that's just terrible. That's awful.

That would kill me. I love it.

If I were an asshole, I'd take that fucking Bobby Bowden football I put on

eBay for five bucks.

Oh, my God. That's worth anyway.

I mean, all right, Ted.

But really.

Honestly, it's been really hard seeing him struggle like that. I mean, just the

fact that he could cut his food today was like a really big deal.

I know your mom's birthday is coming up next week. That's got to be hard for him

too, you know.

Oh, I know it's like totally crazy, but I really think you should come by and

see him.

I will.

I promise.

Okay. Okay.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

I miss you more.

Well, okay.

I miss you guys, too.

I miss you so much.

Check, please.

Get Brandon back here.

Let's make you the topic. If I were an asshole.

I don't know.

I don't know how it happened.

It was a beautiful picture-perfect California night, and Katie and I had

the best time at the concert.

The Grateful Dead.

We were singing at the top of our lungs on the way home.

I can still hear her laughing, and I can still see.

We had just picked up Van from the sitter.

He was in the back seat.

Somehow, he got out of his car seat and started to climb up front.

I was so scared, I swung my arm back quickly to stop him.

It was an accident.

I hit Katie's hand.

The hot coffee went all over her.

I can hear her screaming about how hot it is, but I'm trying to put Van into

his car seat.

And when I turn back around, I see the tree.

We're headed straight for the tree.