Original subtitles

( music playing )

ANNOUNCER: Starring tonight,

Stuart Whitman,

Harry Morgan,

Kim Hunter,

Norman Lloyd,

and Sondra Locke,

Ladies and gentlemen, good evening,

We offer up hopefully salutary,

possibly educative,

but certainly a few terrifying

little items in this,

the Mausoleum of the Malignant,

An art house full of bogies,

elves, pixies, bad fairies,

and a few demoniac inhabitants

all put together for your pleasure

and titillation in what we call

the Night Gallery,

Painting number one,

having to do with fishermen

and what they fish for,

or more specifically in this case,

a fisherman and what he wasn't fishing for,

What appeared in his net one afternoon

defies logic, reason, and belief,

But there it was: Lindemann's Catch,

Miserable, floatin' hulk,

- Looks like a lugger, doesn't it?

- Too square in the stern,

She's ketch big,

A trawler of some kind,

So you better put some water between her and the coast,

or she won't be seeing Boston this time,

- She'll not make Boston,

Who says?

The cards,

Where do they put her down, Master Suggs?

The cards, I mean?

She hole her bottom on a reef

or strip her sails in a gale?

Don't these cardboards squares offer

anything but disaster, huh?

High seas, crosswinds,

man overboard--

that's all you offer us,

Isn't there one single cheerful prediction

in this net of doom you weave every night?

Come on, give us some fair winds,

good fishing,

or maybe a keg of treasure to be washed up

on this benighted little place

to make our lives easier

than what they were,

I only say what the cards tell,

What about your fortune, in the cards, Hmm?

Or in the palm of your hand?

The price of a small brandy,

maybe I'll see a fortune coming your way, huh?

A fortune for me?

( laughs, coughs )

Ahh, The only fortune you'll see for me, Suggs,

is a bony rider on a pale horse,

Ask your cards how I outlive my patients, huh?

( coughing )

Oh, this damp fog chill,

"Physician, heal thyself"-- that's what they say,

- ( Suggs laughs ) - ( coughing )

Not in this place, no, not here,

- Filthy night, - You see that ship out there?

That two-master?

Too shallow of draft for too big of sail,

And badly skippered--

too busy shifting ballast

to look where she was going, she almost ran me down,

But that's all in a night's sport--

hopeful idiots like myself

to be killed by a fearful fool,

Captain, Lindemann, maybe the cards

will offer up a better fortune for you,

Here, take one,

Maybe the palms of your hands

will show a windfall on the way,

Or the tea leaves,

Let me read tea leaves for you, Cap'n,

( chuckles )

Ooh,

Many a pretty picture

is painted in the bottom of a cup for a man,

A potion,

Would a potion of a sort interest you?

I've got ancient bottles that are the perfection

of the soothsayer's art,

Mr. Suggs,

I have to live with the fog,

because it's hell's blanket

and it creeps up through the earth

to bedevil seamen like me,

And there's nothing I can do about that,

And I'll go out every freezing morning

and come back every wind-screaming night

with just enough in my net to keep me alive,

Now, all of that is my miserable lot, Mr. Suggs,

and will be

until God turns my sail into a shroud

and throws me back into the sea,

But what I don't have to do

is to come in here night after night

and look at that wormy little face of yours

and listen to all these bile of potions

and palms and tea leaves,

Now, this is what your fortune is, Mr. Suggs,

where a man spits!

You had no call to do that, Captain,

- Didn't I? No call?

I'm going to give you your fortune,

and because you've wasted so much of my time,

I'm going to wind you up on your back

with a bloody mouth!

Must you take your miseries out

on harmless little men who'll do you no harm?

On whoever, doctor,

if he throws his lines in my waters

during my one free hour

to get myself drunk

and forget my miseries,

You're an evil man, Cap'n,

You've got no heart in your body,

You can't love,

you can't give,

you can't share,

Share?

Share, Mr. Suggs?

Now, you've just had a share of it,

a spoonful of what's inside of my gut,

the hate that I have for this place--

the company,

the time,

the weather, and the catch!

And how about you

half-frozen cod catchers, huh?

What would Mr. Suggs have you love?

The sea, maybe?

Shall we love the sea

even though it frightens us

and ages us

and in time kills us?

And yet we still go out every morning

to embrace her,

That's because we're fools,

we're damn fools,

and we don't deserve any better,

( door opens and closes )

MAN: Captain,

Either we're out of our minds or--

- Likely, or all full up on bad grog,

Maybe you can tell me why four full-grown men

kneel around a fishnet and shiver, hmm?

Lookee here, Captain,

You see what we see, you'll shiver too,

MAN: I'll get another light,

Did you see, Captain?

- Illusion, - And we've all have seen it,

( wheezing )

( wheezing continues )

Kill it,

Throw it back in the sea,

- Captain, it's part human,

It's all monster!

Fifty years I've sailed, Captain,

and I've never seen the likes of this,

It would be sacrilege to harm this creature,

Are you suggesting you take it home?

Fondle the face

and then fry it from the waist down?

That's not from Davy Jones,

that's from the Devil himself!

- I wouldn't believe it

if I weren't seein' it with my own eyes,

Cut her loose out of there, somebody,

Your catch is it, Doctor?

Or are you confiscating it

in the interest of public health?

MORDECAI: She's half frozen,

She is a finned and scaled nightmare,

that's what she is,

And this knife would be better used to--

- You call her a nightmare, Captain Lindemann,

but the gesture--

the gesture is human,

MAN: Captain?

Think of it-- we could keep her alive,

We could keep her on exhibition,

I've seen men pay good money

to look unearthly objects

in a jar of alcohol,

What would they pay to see a mermaid,

a real mermaid?

With that end, Captain,

count this an offer,

Let me take her,

I'll feed her and take care of her

and put her on display,

What's more,

half the take will go to you and your crew,

I've no doubt but the take won't be minnow-sized, either,

because Charlie's right--

Barnum himself couldn't come up

with anything to equal this,

I'll think about it,

MAN: It's a gold mine we got here, Captain,

Woman or fish, she's a gold mine,

Now, I be thinking we should keep her onboard,

- You be thinking too much, Charlie,

You're not the master of this boat

and that catch isn't yours,

it belongs to me,

Now, I said I'll be thinking about it,

And while I'm thinking,

I want all of you to leave me alone,

Captain, you can't leave her in that net and--

That's enough out of you, Doctor!

That's enough out of all of you!

Now go on,

go off to your houses

or go back to that pig trough

that Mr. Bennett calls an inn

or lie in the gutter for all of me,

but just leave me alone,

Now go on! Get off the wharf!

Oh, no,

Not back into the sea,

the sea gave you to me,

The sea gave you to me

and now I'll ponder it a bit,

MORDECAI: What does he want to see me for?

CHARLIE: He said come right aboard

and go to his cabin,

MORDECAI: Captain Lindemann?

( knocks on door )

Well, come in, Doc,

Sit down,

What's it all about, Captain?

Warm yourself first,

Thanks,

The men say you haven't shipped out in three days,

A little shore leave for them,

- What about you? - What about me?

Captain,

that creature you caught in your net,

no one's seen her since you brought her in,

Uh, Bennett's willing to give you cash,

work out some arrangement

that might seem fair,

And put her in a tank someplace

where the bumpkins can stand around drooling?

- Captain, - Doc, she's sick,

She's not eaten anything in a day and a night,

She just lies there on the deck,

Where is she?

Down below in the hold,

Seems to be wasting away,

We've got to help her, Doc,

We've got to treat her and give her some medicine--

we must keep her alive,

She's more human than anything,

We communicate together,

She speaks to you?

Not in words or language,

but she makes herself understood,

as I to her,

You must see what you can do, Doctor,

Please do what you can,

( moaning weakly )

It--that is to say she--

been out of the water too long,

You know what has to be done--

you've got to throw her back,

Give her medicine,

something to give her her strength back,

MORDECAI: She gets her strength from the sea, Captain,

- Save her, - I wouldn't know how,

- I treat only humans, - She is human,

MORDECAI: Three nights ago you said

she was a nightmare, a monster,

I'll tell you something, Captain,

She's a little of both,

And I'll tell you what she isn't--

she's not a companion to man--

- any man, - Help her!

Help her?

You help her,

Give her back to the sea,

( waves rushing )

- He's crazy, I'm telling you,

he's turned crazy is what he's done,

- Keeping her down there in the hold,

Planning on selling her,

that's what he's a mind to do,

That's the last we'll have seen of him,

- Did you expect different?

- That's what I've told you a hundred times about Lindemann,

He's got no heart,

He's made out of iron and wood and ship's tar!

MORDECAI: But with sufficient heart, Suggs,

to call me out in the middle of the night

to help that creature,

- For what purpose?

To keep it alive so's he can torment it?

To keep it alive because he's a lonely man,

That lonely, Doctor?

- As lonely as it's possible for a human being to be,

- But it's a creature, It's not human,

-- Whatever it is,

it won't survive more than a few hours,

- We could all go aboard,

A boarding party,

And tier her up and take her up to Boston

and sell her while she's still alive,

- All right, You do that,

You do that, Bill, You better draw straws

who's to be the first man down the hold,

because whoever it is won't be alive

when he gets there, do you understand?

Captain Lindemann,

in the manner of solitary, friendless men,

has found something he can care about,

Reptile apparition,

specter from the seaweed, whatever it is,

it's given him something he can love,

SUGGS: That won't do it, Captain,

- What will do it, Suggs? Tea leaves?

That trawler you saw out there the other night?

It went aground off Connor's Cape

just like I said it would,

That pleases you, doesn't it?

No, not a bit, Captain,

I may cry doom,

but I don't take pleasure from it,

What do you take pleasure at?

From helping,

I take pleasure from helping,

I'm offering up a hand when I can help,

No, you stick that hand back in your pocket,

I'll rather take my lunch out of a bilge bucket,

You don't understand, Captain,

I've come here to help, as only I can,

You help yourself by causing a distance

between yourself and me,

Or have you forgotten how many times

I've laid you on your back

or how many teeth I've loosened in your mouth?

It's all forgotten, Captain,

I told you I had potions,

powerful nostrums with miraculous properties,

Enough to burn my insides, no doubt,

To make a whole woman out of a half a woman,

Now you be careful what you're saying, Suggs,

I mean it!

You pour this down the mouth

of that creature you have down there

and by dawn she'll walk on two legs,

It's two bells now--

by seven bells,

a miracle will have occurred,

I'm a desperate man, Mr. Suggs,

and my desperation is called insanity,

I know that,

But it's sufficient enough to break you in pieces,

if this be a joke,

Captain, it's a scrawny, brandy-soaked carcass

I carry around with me, but it's all I've got

and I value it, Do you think I'd come here in the dead

of night just so you could tear me in half?

Make her drink it, and then leave her alone,

In five hours, give or take a few minutes,

you'll see the change,

If this be as you say,,,

if this be as you say,,,

I'll bless you, Suggs,

and I'll not forget it,

She means something to you,

She means life itself,

She'll have life itself,

as a gift from me to you,

with my compliments,

( bell ringing )

( music playing )

( boat creaking )

( moaning )

( moaning, sighing )

That you call a miracle,,,

or whatever, you're a woman now,

It's worked!

Suggs!

Suggs, it's worked!

You made it happen!

She's a woman now!

She's no creature, she's no reptile--

she's a woman!

You don't believe me, gentlemen?

Well, I tell you what I'll do--

I'll walk her out here onto the deck,

that's what I'll do,

I'll walk her out here

so that you can see for yourselves!

( moaning )

HENDRICK: Come on up and show them,

Come on,

( screams )

Wait, please don't,

Don't!

( panting )

NICHOLS: We have fed our sea for a thousand years,

and she calls us, still unfed,

though there's never a wave

of all her waves,

but marks our dead,

Mr. Suggs?

( coughs )

Anything to add?

Doesn't have to be your lot, Doctor,

What about a palm reading?

Let me take a look at the tea leaves for you,

your fortune, eh?

Let me read it for you, Doctor,

Let me read your fortune, You'll never regret it

Or a potion perhaps?

I've got a treasury of potions, a fair trove

of delights never tasted by any man, Doctor,

A dead man splattered on a concrete walk,

Not the most appetizing of scenes

and not the pleasantest of stories,

but if you're interested remotely

in homey homicides,

this may be your bag,

We call it, The Late Mr. Peddington,

Ahh, Better, Better,

( doorbell rings )

MAN: You want me to get it, Dad?

No, no, I'm on my way,

( door opens, closes )

Forgive me for just barging in like this,

but you see, I'm somewhat in a hurry,

Oh, that's quite all right,

I'm Thaddeus Conway, madam,

Won't you have a seat?

Oh, thank you,

I'm Cora Peddington,

How do you do, madam,

I'm looking for a good, economical undertaker,

We are extremely, uh,

flexible here, madam,

Let me assure you of that at the outset,

Good,

That's more than one can say

as some of your competitors,

You've dealt then with other morticians in the past?

I've been dealing with them

this entire morning,

Please forgive me, madam,

but I don't seem to follow you,

Well, it's simple enough, Mr. Conway,

I have to cut expenses to the bone,

As a result, I must shop around,

Shop around?

Well, yes, of course,

Naturally,

I'm glad you understand,

None of the others did,

Well, some of us

are more progressive than others,

Now, before we proceed

with the financial aspects of the matter,

if I could get a few

of the pertinent data together--

( chuckles )

I'm training myself to economize,

May I offer you one?

Huh?

Oh, no, Thank you,

I'm trying to quit,

Pertinent data,

I beg your pardon?

You were saying,

Oh! Uh,,,

now, as to the recipient

of our services,

My husband,

Oh, dear, I completely forgot

to mention him, didn't I?

I'm afraid so,

Has he,,,left us?

Left us?

In a manner of speaking,

Oh, I see what you mean,

Yes,

You may say he's left us,

Permit me to convey my sincere condolences, madam,

It is at a--moment--

Well, now we may as well begin

with your husband's full name,

Adam L, Peddington,

- Age? - Fifty-one,

Address?

Eleven Briarwood Gardens,

Briarwood,,,Gardens,

Uh,,,occupation?

Adam is controller--

was controller, I should say,

of Vidal Electronics Corporation,

Oh,

Did he leave suddenly

or was he taken by a lingering illness?

No,

It was sudden,

Quite sudden,

Um, one could call it precipitate--

It can be a blessing that way,

Just how did he go?

Out the window,

Here today and gone--

Did you say Mr. Peddington went out the window?

Our living room window, yes,

Oh, my,

It opens on a balcony, as a rule,

Uh, but the balcony was removed a few days ago

when it was discovered that several

of the supporting lag bolts

had rusted away at the mortise,

Oh, my!

Well, it presented a hazard as it was,

And so it was removed

until a new balcony could be installed,

Unfortunately, I forgot to tell Adam,

He's home so seldom these days,

But this morning

he wanted a breath of fresh air,

Oh, my,

And before I realized what he was doing,

he pushed open the window

and stepped out,

You were married how long?

Twenty years,

Well, you shared two decades,

that's more than many of us have,

I won't be a hypocrite--

twenty years of living with a business machine,

that's what it amounts to,

No, no, no, no, You're distraught, madam,

When we were first married,

we had to save every penny

for his night school,

After he became an accountant,

we saved for a house,

only to sell almost immediately for profits,

The profits went into other real estate,

and then into stock option plans,

The same pattern, year after year,

with the gulf between us

growing wider and wider,

No, I shall not mourn him,

Worldly success, I fear, is no guarantor of happiness,

- We never had a honeymoon, - Nor I,

I never even had a marriage,

If you'll forgive me, madam,

I can't help wondering

about the contradictions in your situation,

What contradictions are those?

Well, obviously Mr. Peddington

was a man on the way up, so to speak,

before he went out and down,

That would seem to mean money,

if I may say so,

Oh, it does mean money,

Well, then I'm at a loss to understand

why you, his widow, are so concerned

about cutting his funeral expenses to the bone,

I have no choice,

I must cut expenses to the bone,

But surely, you inherit--

Not immediately,

My husband always professed

a strong antipathy for rich widows,

He felt that between the time

of their husbands' deaths

and the time they gain control

over the legacies,

a purgative period should ensue,

to give the widows

a balanced view of past and future,

I see,

In my case,

the will stipulates

that I inherit nothing

except the money from his life insurance

for a period of two years

following his death,

Moreover,

I must live exclusively on this sum,

I may not work,

I may not borrow,

I may not pawn such personal items

as furs or jewelry

to supplement the insurance benefits,

An unusual document,

What are the consequences of just ignoring it?

Clear,

In that case,

I inherit only a tenth of the estate,

the remainder going to

the Douglas McArthur Memorial Fund,

How much insurance did he leave?

Two thousand dollars is the face value,

You mean, you're expected to live

on $2,000 for two years?

Why, my dear lady, that's only about,,,

twenty dollars a week!

Adam pointed that out to me,

When we were first married,

he was earning 2,000 a year,

We lived on it and saved money besides,

But the cost of living was much lower in those days,

Also, the cost of dying,

But $2,000, madam,

you can't possible survive on that,

except by charity,

Well, the insurance policy

does carry a double indemnity clause,

That makes it 4,000

in case of accidental death, doesn't it?

And falling from a 10th story window

is usually construed as an accidental death,

I believe,

Yes, I would imagine so,

Shall we discuss basic costs now?

I'm really pressed for time,

Mrs. Peddington, while I appreciate your desire

to economize, I feel I must point out

that in most instances of violent death,

certain cosmetic services are required

to restore the features of the deceased to a semblance--

We shall dispense with that,

I see, A closed casket ceremony,

- I don't plan on a casket at all,

Nor any ceremony,

No casket,

I should think a basket would do it,

Do they come with lids?

Yes, they do come with lids,

Fine,

Now, as to burial attire,

do you wish to supply it or would you prefer

to leave it to our discretion?

Why not let him go as he is?

Well, my good woman, it's never done,

Whatever the poor man was wearing when he fell,

it's probably all,,,rumpled!

Probably a bloody mess,

No earthly good to anyone else,

So let him take it with him,

Adam would really like the economics of that,

He hated waste,

Oh my,

Well, next we must decide on the place of interment,

unless you already subscribe

to a memorial association?

We shall cremate him,

Adam respected the value of real estate,

Sir?

Thanks, I needed this,

You heard?

I had the intercom turned up full,

Do you think we got the job?

No doubt about it,

She didn't say so,

She will,

There's not a mortuary in town

that can underbid us,

Well, why didn't she just say so then?

Why didn't she just tell us

to come over and collect the remains?

John,

you're a first grade embalmer,

but as a brain,

you're a disaster area,

Sir?

She was shopping, John, Shopping,

She had to make certain that under the conditions

of her husband's will she could realistically afford

the price of even a cut-rate funeral,

So?

So now she has to go home and--

( screaming )

In the general, generic area

of costume jewelry,

note girl, and note expression,

Obviously a lady much disturbed

by whatever little bauble

she has recently been the recipient of,

said sentence improperly

ending on a proposition,

But this story ending on a much more deadly note than that,

We call it A Feast of Blood,

Blasted cheap glass,

( doorbell ringing )

It's 7:00,

Dead on time of course,

( door opens, closes )

Look, darling, look,

Isn't Henry kind?

Mother, why must we carry on this charade with Henry?

You know I'm going to marry John,

Well, we know you want to and you say so,

but it isn't official yet, my dear,

Now-- Oh, the crystal vase, I think,

But I hate Henry Mallory!

- You never know, my dear,

What if something should happen to John?

Henry is insurance, is what he is,

'Orrible 'Enry,

Small and soft

and repulsive as a slug,

There's something

not quite right about him,

- My dear, there are few girls

as beautiful as you,

And poor Henry can't help it

if he's not as handsome as John Coleridge,

I say! I wonder what's in here,

Good things

come in small packages, they say,

Well, I shall accept no presents

from Henry except flowers,

Oh, don't be so old-fashioned, my dear,

Henry said you simply must

wear this tonight,

But isn't it enchanting?

What an original brooch,

Oh, let me pin it on your coat, dear,

Oh, it's realistic,

YOUNG WOMAN: So squashy,

- It's simply enchanting,

And you look sweet, too,

But come along, darling, Come downstairs,

or Henry'll be getting impatient,

MAN: Hello, Sheila,

Thank you for the flowers, Henry,

And the clever brooch,

- I believed you'd like it,

Shall we all have a drink?

- No, thank you, Mrs. Gray, we'll be late for dinner,

Oh, of course--

Dinner? Where?

- The Arlington,

The Arlington? How lovely,

Such good food, But naughty, naughty Henry,

so expensive!

Your daughter deserves it, Mrs. Gray,

Oh, how sweet,

But you must be going,

Your taxi will be costing you a fortune,

I've hired a car,

Naughty, naughty!

Still, we're only young once,

Good night, Mother,

Shall we?

Good night, dears,

Remember, Henry,

she's my only baby,

Take good care of her,

I will, Mrs. Gray,

( music playing softly )

Oh, please, no,

My--my head is positively swimming,

How many times have we gone out now, Sheila?

Four, five times?

And yet, you've never asked about me,

Well, I--

Well, why don't you tell me all about yourself, then?

Not much to say,

The only child of a widowed mother,

like yourself,

Childhood of lonely dreams,

not very popular at school,

Until I discovered the secret,

Secret?

I began by being the best at small things,

Once my reputation was established,

I became the best at everything,

Just like that, were you?

Well, were you then the best

in football throwing?

( chuckles )

Everything,

You see, Sheila, there were always ways of winning,

Take you and me, for instance,

You think you'll be marrying John, don't you?

You wouldn't want to change your mind, would you?

You're exactly the kind of girl for me,

Well, I--I am flattered,

but I'm in love with John,

Love,,,

that's what they all say,

It never lasts,

Being a good husband

is what really matters,

Besides, he hasn't even asked you,

( laughs )

Well, shall we say that

I'll take my chances,

Since your mother is so enamored

of prattling old sayings,

I'm surprised she's never told you

that he who laughs last,

laughs best,

You can't insult my mother like that,

I can do what I want,

because, as I told you,,,

I never lose,

You will never marry John,

Well, we shall see, shan't we?

How do you like that brooch?

Well, it is very unusual,

It's a vo-du,

Very rare kind of mouse--

true ancestor of the bat,

Bats? Why, I hate bats,

It's a mouse, not a bat,

Besides we have all sorts of bats,

from our domestic ones

to the bats of the caves of India,

Look, I will show you something,

I am removing the vo-du,,,

from its brooch pin,

It'll stick by its feet to the coat--

it has prehensile feet,

It will stick to anything,

and however much you shake the coat,

it will not fall off,

You speak about it as though it were alive,

Do I?

How foolish of me,

- This is good-bye, Sheila, - I'm afraid so,

I'll give you one more chance to change your mind,

because I like you so much better than the others,

What others?

The other girls,

And none so pretty as you,

I might add,

Let's go,

Well, yes, sir, I'll manage to get back,

Thank you for your trouble

and understanding,

Thank you,

Well, you will make a good husband

- for some girl, - But not you,

Well, I can't help loving John, can I?

Ah, yes, John,

Tall, Dark, wavy hair,

Masculine jaw,

- Fine teeth, - Really, Henry,

I ought to know what he looks like,

Broad shoulders, a deep clear voice,

- A strong sense of,,, - Must you?

,,,humor,

Comfortable income, due to a generous father,,,

I am politely asking you to stop,

Mr. and Mrs. Beautiful,

Are you sure there'll be enough mirrors in the house?

You're insulting,

"Accurate" is more the word, peacock,

You wouldn't speak to me like that

if you really loved me,

I not love you?

What man wouldn't love you?

The face that launched a thousand ships?

Really, Henry, I don't know

what's got into you this evening,

I thought we wouldn't go straight home,

After speaking to me like that?

You have a filthy mind,

My idea was Fox's gaming house

to have ourselves a little gamble,

Well, I don't like gambling,

I don't like insults, and I am tired

and I want to go home,

John will never marry you, I tell you,

Not if I live to be a hundred,

Don't you dare!

Do that again and I'll slap your face!

I'll do as I please,

Let me out of this car!

You can't go out, silly girl, it's three miles,

I don't care,

All that way in the terrible darkness,

I'd sooner die than stay with you,

Wait,

You've made the choice,

You're disgusting!

You're slime, that's what you are,

When you think of me,

think of me in John's arms making love to me,

The ugliest woman in the world

wouldn't have a toad like you!

I shall remember you as you were, Sheila,

Beautiful,,,

and deserving,

( crickets chirping )

Oh!

Oh!

He took it off its pin,,,

( screaming )

Oh! Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Ow!

( screaming )

( both singing drunkenly )

♪ So I says to me mother, me mother-- ♪

Ah, Ha ha ha!

Ah,,,all right,

You in your cups again, Frankie?

God love us!

I know he does,

You didn't see it?

Are you seeing that pink elephant again?

Almost as big as one,

It crossed the road up there

and went into the woods,

How many times do I have to warn you

about that gin, that jubilee juice?

Like a big hedgehog it was,

His whole head was black and shiny,

like it was covered with blood,

Come on, Frankie,

I'll take you to your door

and I'll explain everything to your old lady,

- Ohh! - Come on,

All right, mate,

HENRY: Let me guess,

The telly--

you were in the beauty contest,

- I thought you should've won, - I'm supposed to be flattered?

- You're very beautiful, - I know,

- And I am something less than a film star,

- We can't help how we're born,

( men singing drunkenly )

MEN: ♪ Jolly old pal ♪

( singing continues )

( singing stops )

( crickets chirping )

What is it?

It was a woman, it was,

Uggh!

Allow me,

A token of my appreciation,

What is it?

I want you to have it,

Accept a gift from a total stranger?

My name is Henry,

Now we're not strangers,

You have to understand,

this doesn't mean anything,

Of course,

It's just that I am compelled to honor beauty,