Original subtitles

Kellogg's, the best to you each morning from Kellogg's.

Brought to you by Kellogg's your best choice in cereals the best to you each

morning

Hmm, snagglepuss, it's your morning paper.

Let's see what the human race is up to this saluvrious morning.

Well now, amalgamated lamb chops is up one point.

Speaking of lambs, here's a tasty bit of news.

Wooly boy, cinch to win blue ribbon at county fair.

Hmm.

Wooly Boy's a cinch for a larger than average roast pan, too.

Snail Puss, it looks like your sheep has come in at last.

I'm going to the fair because Wooly Boy is there. He'll soon be in my roasting

pan without his wooly hair.

Oh, there it is.

County Fair, my destination.

Hey, Quickstraw, how... How come we have to guard this woolly boy?

On account of that's the reason, wanted old Snagglepuss for making lamb

sandwiches out of season.

Heavens to Murgatroyd.

What a vicious looking beast he is.

Quickstraw, it's Snagglepuss.

Hold on there, you sheep stealer.

Hold on to our ware, friend.

I'm not hastening off of nothing to be ashamed of.

And before you do, Snagglepuss, I'll have you canned like a kipper.

Am I my brother's kipper? I'm not, Snagglepuss. I'm his honest brother,

Snaggletooth.

Gorsh, I'm sorry, but there is a strong family resemblance.

True, but I have kinder eyes.

Where is that sheep-stealing brother of yours?

There, even now, he approacheth.

Where? I don't see nothing approacheth him.

There, by yon yucca tree.

All I see is yon yucca tree.

Me too.

Yoo-hoo, quick draw, tis I.

The scapegrace brother.

Hold on there, snagglepuss.

After him, my friends.

While I pull the wool over my eyes.

I didn't see him.

He got plum clean away.

Hold it, wooly boy.

For my morning constitutional.

What do you suppose makes me so woolly?

You're woolly enough.

Go back to your pen pronto.

There's something mighty suspicious going on around here.

Aha! We meet again, Snagglepuss.

Here. Take your sheep.

And when I catch that snitcher of an honest brother's snaggletooth, he'll rue

the day and the night even.

Exit stage right.

Keep your eye peeled, Bubba.

You mean for Snagglepuss?

Right. There's no low-down, scurrilous trick he won't try to get Wooly Boy.

Help. Help.

Don't let him get me.

Stop. You're on a snitch and there's a rover, Snaggletooth.

Won't someone save me from an overwrought brother?

You won't get away with it this time, snitcher.

Quistra, don't you think... Keep out of it, Baba. It's a family affair.

Oh, please.

Oh, please, please, please.

Help an honest wretch.

Hold on, boy.

Have mercy on an honest wretch.

Bring me Wooly Boy, and I might considerate it.

Wait here, and I'll have him delivered to you, Snagglepuss.

Heavens to Murgatroyd. It worked.

I get it, Quicksprong.

Snagglepuss? Well, then you're Woolly Boy.

He grabs you, then you grabs him, red-handed.

Right, Bubba. Now deliver me to Snagglepuss.

Here you are, Snagglepuss. Here's Woolly Boy. I seen.

Thanks.

Ever so ever.

Simmerin' Mint Sauce.

He's a big one.

Methinks my hood has been winked. Wooly boy, no more sheep stealing

for me.

Well, wooly for you, snagglepuss.

In fact, I'm dropping it as of now.

Shall we go, wooly boy?

Stop, you varmint!

I'm not a varmint, so why do I stop?

There he goes, Quickstrap! Into that cave!

A cave, indeed.

For a knave in need.

Hold on there, Snagglepuss!

You can't eat a blue ribbon winner!

Why not?

They're the best kind.

Hold still, woolly boy, whilst I trim you of your woolly locks.

Would you like a little off the...

up, sir.

It's a little long on the sides.

How are the wife and kids?

How are the Dodgers doing?

Heavens to Murgatroyd, woolly boy.

You're all wool and an inch wide.

Oh, I'm coming in, snagglepuss.

Don't bother, friend.

It would be unkind of me to eat this mutton-nothing.

And when they called him woolly boy, they weren't kidding.

Since winter approacheth, I might as well weave myself a cozy haversacker.

100%. Wooly boy, of course.

That's why I spin and spin and spin.

Snoop to Hazel. Snoop to Hazel. Hello?

Hello?

Hazel must be taking her coffee break, Snoop.

Hazel to Snoop. Hazel to Snoop. I can see you from the window, boss. Your

helicopter looks like a crazy cake mixer.

Hazel? Yes, boss?

How would you like to go back to your old job, mixing concrete?

Sorry, boss.

May I interject if I got any calls?

Oh, yes. The circus owner is frantic. He wants to see you right away.

Will do.

Over and out.

What's up, Snoop? It's a 983.

Trouble in the Big Top.

Wowee, the circus!

Oh, boy!

Ah, here we are.

Bringling Brass Circus.

President.

Come in.

Mr. President, uh, we're at your service.

Boys, your funny get-ups are great, but I've got all the clowns I need.

Uh, you got our identities misconcepted. I'm Super Snooper. And I'm Blab, Snoop's

trusted assistant.

I'm sorry, boys, but I've got trouble.

And there it is, my new act.

Bringling Bride.

presents Hardy Har Har, the laughing hyena.

What's your problem, pray divulge? A laughing hyena is very funny.

That's it.

He isn't laughing. And who wants to see a laughing hyena that isn't laughing?

Can we take a peek at this nonconformist hyena? Come with me.

That's a laughing hyena?

Maybe he's crying on the outside and laughing on the inside.

Snooper, you get Hardy Har Har to laugh for tonight's show, and I'll pay you $10

,000. It's a sad case, but the fee is a happy one. I'll take it.

Oh, dear. Oh, my.

Oh, dear.

Oh, my.

Now, remember, I tell the jokes.

Right. And when you get to the punchline, I laugh it up.

Right. Let's go.

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

Say, did you hear the one about the teacher?

The one about the teacher.

The funny one.

That's not the punchline.

Gosh, I'm sorry, Snoop.

Do you think this feather tickle will work, Snoop? For $10,000, I tickle his

palate. Get going, Blam. Here goes, Snoop.

Kitsy, kitsy, kitsy, kitsy. Kitsy, kitsy, kitsy.

Oh, dear.

Oh, money.

Oh, dear.

This is a real...

I'm sorry, Snoop.

That's all you ever say.

I know.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

I always say, I'm sorry, Snoop.

Now, uh, here's the accepted theory.

They say laughing is contagious.

So, uh, I'll start, then you join in.

Blab, what in Tonkett are you doing?

always gets them. It'll flip them, Snoop.

Doody, Rudy.

Oh, Doody.

Where are you, Doody?

Here I am, punk.

Holy mackerel.

I got a surprise for you.

Gimme, gimme, gimme.

And I got a surprise for you. I hate to say it, but...

I'll do it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hardy Har Har, the Laughing Hyena.

Oh, me.

Oh, my.

Okay, Snoop, you're on.

Snoop will do anything for laughs.

And the $10,000.

Good morning, Mom, Papa.

Good morning, Augie.

Augie, what's with that get-up? And what's it supposed to be?

I am the chef of the day. And I will take the breakfast order.

And what has the chef got on the mezzanine for today?

We have the eggs, the chicken, over easy, the sunny side up, the

boiled, the hard, and...

Okay.

I'll take three eggs, least gram bread.

Three eggs, least gram bread coming.

Arrivederci, mom, papa.

That's my boy who's talking Lithuanian.

get some fresh eggs for my dear old papa.

Oh, Chef, how about them eggs least scrambled?

Coming right up, Le Papa.

Dad,

oh, Dad.

What's the panic, Augie?

It's your scrambled eggs, Dad. Slightly overdone.

Something is scrambled around here, Augie, because that's an ostrich.

Oh, boy, an ostrich is my very...

Hold the phone, my son.

Who said anything about keeping him? But, Dad, he won't eat much.

Hey, that's my favorite pipe, Dad. Oh, too late, Dad. He swallowed it.

Hey, Dad, where are you?

I'm in the closet, son.

What is it?

Do you realize we got Archie six weeks ago today?

And do you?

Realize I can't find my favorite bowling ball?

Oh, no.

He swallowed my bowling ball.

Last week, it was my golf clubs. The week before, my prize mandolin.

And I'm thinking that overgrown parakeet has got to go.

Please, Dad, give Archie one more chance.

For six weeks, I've been giving him dozens of one more chances.

And this is the last one more chance, and that's finale.

I'm surprised, Dad, with this clay statue of myself, Archie.

Maybe he'll be so happy he won't be mad at you anymore.

Oh, Oggy, dinner's ready.

Coming, Dad.

Oh, I wonder what's keeping that boy.

Augie!

Oh, no!

He gulped down my one and only little Augie.

Cough up my only son, you overgrown canary.

No son of mine is gonna beat for the points.

Sit tight, Augie boy.

I'll get you out.

Where did he go?

Ostriches have a peculiar way of hiding, but I'll find him.

Aha!

Found you, didn't I?

Okay, hand over my son without further ado.

Dad, Archie, where are you?

Where did everybody go?

Something tells me Archie is hiding and Dad is looking for him, but I'll find

him.

Soggy, my lost boy.

I thought Archie coped you down.

Not me, Dad.

It was my statue.

Statue, smatch you.

This time that ostrich goes.

Dad? Yes, Soggy?

I think he already went.

There he goes, back into the house.

Look, Dad.

Archie's going to swallow that box of bullets.

What do you mean, going to? He has.

Run, Loggie. The bullets gave him the hiccup.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an ostrich who shoots his mouth off.

There's our lost ostrich egg.

Only he ain't an egg anymore.

Get the net, Bill, and we'll grab him. Right, Joe.

I got him.

Dad, look.

They're taking Archie back to the zoo.

He'll be safer there, son.

So will we.

And now that things are back to subnormal... Dad!

It's time you learned the facts of life, Augie. He didn't leave no egg. She did.

Dad, look!

Hey! That's my favorite pipe there!

It's too late, Dad.

Cough up that pipe, you pipsqueak!

Best choice in cereals. The best to you each morning has brought you Quick Draw

McGraw.