Original subtitles

This is a singer-songwriter whose debut album sold over 10 million copies

worldwide. Someone who sold over a million concert tickets and gone from

pubs to clubs to arenas and enormous festival crowds in just a few years. And

he's done so while remaining resolutely himself.

So please welcome to the stage, Lewis Capaldi!

I think I've never been more insecure in my life than I am now.

The success of the first one made me feel more insecure and sort of self

-conscious about my own abilities.

Do you spend a lot of time thinking about that, then? Oh, yeah, big time.

I'm thinking about it now.

You're really anxious.

I mean, I find it difficult to watch you.

It's one of these things. If it's not, we can't just... What can I do about it?

Yeah, but you're in pain because of it.

I feel like I'm in a race against the clock to get my mental health in order.

What's the date today?

What's the date?

The 26th, Thursday the 26th of December 2018, the day I became a celeb.

That famous that I've now got my own private shitter.

That I let other people use. Hello, ladies.

This here says he looks so fucking cool. I guess so, mate.

Thank you.

I guess fucking so.

From here on, I will climb through the celeb hierarchy.

I'll start naturally on the C-list.

Right, I hope you'll enjoy this. I'll sit there and I swear.

Sure enough, I'll climb up through the Bs.

I don't even know who Lewis Capaldi is.

Hope he's watching. I feel like I fucking know you. I've seen your face

absolutely everywhere.

I'm through the years.

No white English now.

I'm a fucking celeb.

Number

one

in fucking America.

And now making his U.S. television debut.

The fabulous Lewis. Lewis. Lewis Capaldi.

Royal superstar.

Clubs. Yes, guys.

Parties.

I shall wear the finest garments.

That's perfect.

Make it look.

I will dine in the finest restaurants.

In the finest cities.

What a fucking view. And when all is said and done, I shall lay at the bottom

of a pit.

A shadow of the man I once was. But I won't rise.

I will rise.

Is it worth it?

Making you feel like this?

There's nothing further from the Grammys than Whitburn.

Small towns, loads of pubs.

That's it.

I always saw myself as someone who would not live in their hometown and stuff.

See, that's not such a bad thing.

It's just like the antithesis of, like, all the fucking mad shit.

Ordinary is such a remarkable thing, do you know what I mean?

There's something to be said for that beauty in everyday life.

I do love the fact that I am a Scottish

person and I like the power that people have.

I do like the mindset of, like, realists.

Everyone just stays on that kind of level of, let's give this a go and we'll

probably fuck it up, but we'll have a good time while we do it. Do you know

what I mean?

I've kind of learned how much that I actually do love where I'm from.

It's that feeling when I come home and everyone's just, like, the same as it

always is.

That's actually quite a nice feeling, do you know what I mean? I mean, obviously,

I've kind of picked the wrong career now if I want to do that.

Anonymity is not something that I am familiar with.

There's that woman in the opticians point.

It's weird that she can see us from that distance despite being in an opticians.

You don't need to be there.

You're cured.

But as a test, if you can just look out the window, if you manage to spot loose

capillary...

Your glasses are working. Thank you.

There you go. See?

Hello.

This ain't any dog bones.

God's sake.

Hello? Who goes there?

It's I, Lewis Capaldi, the ugly bastard.

What's happening?

Fuck all, Greg. Oh, OK.

Wanted to let you know where we are with the US Airplay campaign that you have

been working so hard on and so... Before you go right now, it's firmly in the

number one position.

It's the longest journey to number one in the history of the Billboard

airplay chart. Fucking hell. And the media base airplay chart as well. Thank

you so much, Greg.

And Lewis, stop bringing us fucking slow sad songs. It's too fucking hard.

I'll speed it up for the next album, honestly.

See you, Greg. Thank you so much, mate. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

There you go.

Back it out.

A global pandemic is only, like, in the top three weird things that have

happened to me in the last three years.

Thank you so much for everything that you've done for me over the last wee

while.

My life has been fucking incredible, so thank you so much for everything you've

done.

Look at how far they go.

I hadn't been away from home.

The first time I went to America was because my music had, like, taken us

there. In the last two years, people have become really nice to me, but it's

just coincidental.

You're having a flippin' disco next door.

Making the first album, touring the first album, recording it.

Just don't get the cock in.

I think it was as close to, like, dreams coming true as you could possibly get.

But as soon as your first album does well, it's like, can I do it again,

though?

So there's that tension all the time.

You can only be the next big thing for, like, a year.

The clock's ticking.

You get, like, your whole life to write your first album, and then, what is it,

a year or six months or something to write a second?

I'm in my parents' shed.

This is where I've been doing most of the second album from.

This is not how I expected to be doing a second album, do you know what I mean?

If we're in doing a bit of recording, everything's fine.

And I just go, right, this isn't going very well.

I'm off for a whack.

Do you know what I mean? It's just like, it seems like a very, it's just a much,

much simpler thing. Maybe not a whack. I do love my parents, remember. But that's

not, it's not, it's a dangerous situation to be, to be masturbating in.

I did do it the other day when I was here.

You don't volunteer.

I did it. I volunteered to do it. I just did it over my own accord.

It just all seems very bizarre.

It's as if you're watching a movie or something. It's very, very strange.

He still wanders about in his pants and it comes up. I've not got any clean

underwear. You need to give me some.

Sometimes you think he's very adult and then other times you think...

You've still got a lot of growing up to do.

You need to phone your mother to come and pick you up from your one-night

stand. That's not a story that needs to be told.

I'm glad you brought that up.

Well, wee Luigi, he's got a heart of gold.

He is what you see. He's just a nice kid.

There's no airs and greys to put on.

Why are you pretending you're a kid?

I do a solid thing.

That's it, Mum.

I don't want him to change.

I don't want this to change him. I think that would be really, really bad.

It wouldn't be worth it if he becomes a different person from the person he is

just now.

Frank's a bit sad, is he not?

Can't believe you're taking that dog.

Mum wants me to. No, she doesn't. She does.

She's getting her little cunt out of this fucking house. That's me she's

talking about.

No, she says little prick when she's talking about you.

So you do get it from me, then?

A friend of mine who's a musician told me that...

Your fame doesn't change you, it changes everyone around you.

Dad brings my name up every time he's on the phone to some cunt, eh? And it's

like, my son has lots of Instagram followers. Do you know who I am? I just

used it as a superpower to get what I wanted.

You definitely bring it up a lot to people.

I don't know as much as I used to.

I've got a mellowed.

I'm getting used to it now.

He's bad for it. And, like, do you know get a discount off that hot tub?

No, I would have got a discount off the hot tub if you'd sat next to it.

Not only would I have got a discount as I've got a sauna, free, but would you

sit next to it? And the hot tub was actually called Lewis.

Yeah, there you go, so... And all I wanted to do was plant a cheek next to

the hot tub.

No, I wouldn't do it.

There you go, eh?

This haircut as well.

Mullet.

Let's come back in on a big way.

That's a belter. Oh, fucking hell.

That's an absolute belter.

These are all brand new baby ones, look.

I can't see them.

I was born in Rotten Rule Hospital, Glasgow, on the 7th of October in 1996.

25 years ago.

It is, this year.

By all accounts, easy business.

Straight out, no bother.

I asked my mum.

She had had three kids before.

Oh, fuck, yeah, my dad was supposed to get a vasectomy.

The snip.

For those who don't know, a vasectomy is when you get your tubes cut.

Can you still cum?

Mum was like, don't you get to be sexy anymore, I'm fucking pregnant.

Me.

Three was a bit odd.

And Lewis came along.

Yeah, completed the family.

My oldest brother, Warren.

He was the person that kind of got me into playing music.

He wanted to play guitar and I wanted to play guitar.

Lewis would always go in his room, just sit for hours practising, then come

down. We'd all be excited to go in the kitchen and he'd say, I've learnt this.

We'd all have to tiptoe round about me singing. You could probably hear us all

in the background as we're bumping past him a lot of the time.

When I was younger, that was your first audience with your parents.

I've got loads of, like, fond memories of, like, coming out and playing them

songs when I just was doing it on guitar. And now, obviously, when I have

songs that are finished, I kind of fire them off to them if it's on WhatsApp

or... Yeah, it's still something I do to this day.

as the gap unplugged. Now, Lewis, how you doing?

I'm doing it. The youngest person we have ever had on the gap, what age are

you? 12.

So how long have you been playing guitar for, mate?

Since nine.

When do you think you'll be ready to start gigging across Scotland?

Eh, whenever.

Not in the scene much.

I was just a driver.

Happy to go along for the ride.

My dad used to take me to all these fucking gigs.

Drive me to Glasgow, drive me to Edinburgh.

Sharp doors.

My kid's a singer. People go, oh, fuck, I don't know, all that kind of stuff.

I think he was 12 or 13.

We lied about his age, obviously.

Next week, we're playing in the garage attic in Glasgow.

I would rock up.

Literally, the person would go... Two speakers on their big stands.

A tiny wee mixing board.

It sounds fucking shite.

It'd be like... Because that's how it sounded through that fucking speaker.

Whatever the song was.

The place is fucking, like... Everyone's, like, talking about each

other. No-one's listening to you.

No-one's turned round, no-one's fucking looked at you.

We might have two people.

I would just do that for years and fucking years and years and years.

And play these fucking shite pubs where no-one gave a fuck.

Ten past seven at the minute, p.m., when I am in Scotland, and I'm going to do a

session, and it's going to be lovely.

How I write is I basically sit here at piano, at

piano, and then bust through a bunch of ideas, put them all on my iPad here.

Then I just kind of bank them all and blast through them.

And then when it comes time to do a session, I pick what ones I'm taking in.

So like, if you see it, just label it cool.

Because that's obviously what my music is.

Do you know in documentaries where like people go, oh, you know, I've got a song

and they play like a really scratchy version of it. And then you cut forward

like a year.

And I'm like, I hope it does well.

And then it just, and I knew, you know what I mean, documentaries where it

skips forward and the crowd's like, oh God, man, oh, and they're all singing

the song. And it's been a hit. It'd be good if one of those did that.

If that has happened with any of these songs, we'll skip forward to that now in

three, two, one.

Still here? Well, it happened for fucking none of them then. Thank you.

Can't even begin to explain.

With such an unfamiliar pain Where it comes and it goes And it

leaves me alone in the dirt, dirt

It's

nice to hear you back on the guitar, mate.

It's been a while. Thanks a lot, yes.

You always come back, you know. Nice to have you back.

Nice to have you back, mate. Nice to hear you out.

Mate, second number one record in America.

Yeah, that's pretty wild.

You're bonafide now.

You got an idea or something?

I've got a couple, yeah.

I guess there's some of the words I'm not picking out so much. Oh, yeah, I

mean, it's just, I'm just kind of like, yeah, moaning. I like that. I do like

that kind of verse bit of like, can't even begin to explain.

This all too well familiar pain. It's an interesting place to start. It comes and

it goes and it leaves me alone in the end.

And I did have another bit there.

Yeah, I love that. It's all too familiar pain. That's cool. It flows nice.

Yeah.

Cos it's only the beat of my heart Now it's waiting on

the answer, my star

If you ain't on the island, if you tell me, tell me, tell me,

leave me again.

Good? Woo!

Yeah. Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah.

I had nothing left to lose.

Fuck. Can't survive through it all just to keep you... If the words in the song

make me feel anything, it's probably a good...

thread to follow, whether it's a happy song or a sad song or whatever.

If it evokes enough of emotion that I'm like, this is stirring up something in

me, I think that's the thing to follow.

Fuck off.

It's hard to get that on fucking key.

I wasn't a fucking poet.

I didn't have a journal. I still don't have a fucking journal. I don't read.

It's not cool to read, like I wish I did, but I just don't have the attention

span for it. What I have the attention span for is standing on stage and

playing songs to people, because there's no better feeling than just having that

fucking rush to it, do you know what I mean?

The

only

reason I ever started writing music was so that I could play it live.

With the last album, the first thing we brought out was this single called

Bruises that we didn't really think was that big of a song.

King Tut's in January 2017.

I had to perform like a bunch of new songs.

Bruises was that song.

I need you

And then it kind of went like viral.

And you see the smile on his face when the crowd sang back.

You knew that that's what that kid was gonna do for the rest of his life.

Spotify picked it up and put it number one on New Music Friday in America.

And yeah, it just, like, flew.

This is the Radio 1 playlist for next week.

That's my fucking name right there, buddy.

Fucking hell.

This is my bedroom.

I just love the big city.

Completely hypnotised. What a beautiful voice and what a handsome boy.

Fucking yes!

Distinctive features. I don't know, maybe my eyes.

I've got chubby fucking cheeks.

When people meet you, are they more interested in talking about your music

or your Instagram?

I get people come up to me in the street and being like, I love your Instagram,

man. And you're like, I'm a singer too.

I didn't really know quite what I was getting into when I was posting those

videos.

So I went out last night, just having a dance and stuff.

People actually started getting their phones out.

Why are they taking pictures of us? Why is everyone so interested in what we are

doing? And then I remembered it's because I'm fucking famous.

Friends that I hang out with now are still friends that I had at school.

Michael is a gravedigger.

Connor is a roofer, turned DJ.

Niall is a student recruitment officer.

Dec Duff works with welding engineers of some form.

I don't know what an engineer does, so that's why I think welding.

Aidan Halliday plays piano for me and is musical director.

Aidan Beattie plays bass in my band, so two of them are hitched to my wagon.

Shall I watch?

If you talk about being grounded and stuff like that, trying to keep your

feet on the ground when you don't know where the fucking ground is for a lot of

the time.

But your relationship with your friends, I think, is the main thing.

Really, really good for making sure you're not a cunt.

I've definitely noticed you realise you can pay someone Someone for anything.

That's the bad thing. It's free drink. That's the first bad thing.

Getting in place, getting in place.

That's what it is. Getting in place, getting in place. No queues, no queues.

What you really want to ask the other is, Joe, has Niall changed since I've

become famous?

And the answer's a big fat fucking yes.

You know I feel all right.

Feel pretty good, yo.

Thanks, mate.

Cheers. Thanks, mate.

I just got my passion's done. I think we're trying to make a song. Is that

what we'll do?

Yeah.

Uh-oh. Lager. Is that lager?

Sometimes cider.

Fiji, lagers.

Different drinks for different needs.

Don't you need to, like, nail it?

Listen, I'm a professional, so I'll probably nail it first thing.

Whatever, mate.

Just do it line by line.

Let's rock.

One,

two, three.

It's so low, man.

It's bloody rock, mate.

Bloody rock and roll. Let's have a roll here.

Hello. Hello, mate. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Pretty good.

Thinking about timelines, like, realistically, we want, you know, a song

out.

the type of next year at some stage. And then theatrical writing, what are you

thinking time-wise?

Yeah,

we need to do more.

Should we do the fucking Mad Blitzer Cunts in London?

I mean, literally whenever you want.

We'll see you, man. Oh,

it's closing!

Yeah!

And one piece, all you have to do, all you have to do, it's crucial, is be

fearless.

He's it.

I feel like I'm on these tenders or something.

What do you want to do today?

Oh, fuck that. That's a million-dollar question, isn't it? Million-dollar sad

boy question.

Sounds like you've got 120 sad songs to pick from. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

121. This is it.

A bit too depressing to start

the chorus with, do I cry...

Every night.

Are you fine? Are you... Did you listen to the first record? I'm happy to be led

by you.

There's kind of a beauty that you kind of left a line on your first record. Oh,

totally. At times it was a bit nerve-racking because it was like, we

don't know how to make an album.

But it turns out, if you just write songs that you like and release it...

Hey, Lewis, what you gonna say?

I don't know.

I feel dizzy.

Sorry that you're feeling rough, mate.

I'm not confident in my abilities as a songwriter.

And I think that's got worse the more successful I've got.

Summer You Loved was really fucking big.

If you want to talk about turning points, that's a fucking turning point.

Things just blew up.

You're not here to get me through it all. I let my guard down and then you

pulled the rug.

I was getting kind of used to being someone we loved.

Six weeks at the top. It's been streamed over one billion times. Smash hit

single, Someone You Love. Someone You Love. Love. Love. There's Lewis. My

friend, Lewis Capaldi. Now the tabling into 94.

For the song of the year goes to...

My name is Lewis.

Thanks very much for this.

Contrary to popular belief, a lot of people think this song is about my ex

-girlfriend, who you can now see every night on Love Island.

But it's actually about my grandmother, who is sadly...

Sadly passed away a few years ago, and I hope to God that ITV don't contact her

to be on a reality dating TV show.

But, yeah, no, thank you so much. This has been the best year of my life.

Thanks to everyone like you.

Thanks to the label, thanks to my mum and dad for, I don't know, making love.

And, yeah, thanks to my grandmother for... Dying?

Sorry. I'll see you later.

Bye-bye. Thanks so much, sister.

Big celebrity bash tonight at the Brit Awards.

It's going to be electric, so I obviously felt like I had to push the

boat out and buy a new pair of vans.

One to award, the last one.

It was nice.

I was performing at the last one.

And this time, I'm just... there, quite literally.

It's just quite sad.

Since I wonder what Elton John's going to sing today.

He sent me quite a lovely email.

Have I told you about this email?

I was having a few beers with Ed Sheeran, and I was telling him about my,

you know, imposter syndrome situation.

Elton sent me an email saying,

I was talking to Ed yesterday and we talked about you.

He said you were feeling a bit like an imposter.

Bollocks! That's in full capital L.

You are totally your own man. Your album is still riding high all over the world.

And it's your first album that's also in capital L.

You write beautiful songs which resonate with millions of people.

You are a great live and a wonderful singer. You are also very funny and

original. I mean this sincerely.

Stop it now, please, or I will come up to Suffolk and bring out the latent homo

in you.

Buckets of love, Elton.

Eh, no, I mean, it's nice to hear and stuff, but you obviously still feel a

bit like that.

Imposter syndrome, I think you can have that at any level.

That sort of, like, bleeds into every single decision you make and everything

you do.

For me, it's always just seemed quite alien. Putting that turn up and...

see me live and see me play.

I love the fact that people do give a fuck and listen to my music.

I just don't get it. I don't get why people would turn up and see it. But I'm

eternally grateful, and I fucking... I can't thank people enough, but I just

don't... I love you, but I will never understand you.

That's what I'm trying to say to you all at home.

Yeah, I just don't get it.

Yeah, I just don't... I don't know.

Like you're like you're doing better than you actually are

I'm just an actor.

I'm just an actor. I'm just a... That's cool.

I'm the pretender.

I'm the pretender. That's cool, yeah.

I'm... hiding the real me so that you see, like, a stronger side or you're

painting a picture of who I am. Yeah.

I'm the pretender, why can't I tell you?

Designed to deceive.

Just tell me who you want me to be.

It's called Designed to Deceive.

That's a Capaldi lyric, I think.

Come on, that's got to be.

I feel like everything I do is a lie.

And all the words just further pull the wool over my eyes. I know

I'm no good at being who I am away from the light.

I'm the pretender.

Why can't I tell you?

Designed to deceive.

So tell me who you want me to be.

I came to my school, like, quite small town-y, like, I know loads of folk who

are married, but who are in my year of school and who have kids when we're in

school.

I always remember I was, like, 25 was the age I put on, like, right, I'll have

things, I'll have my career set, I'll know what I'm doing.

Really? Fuck, I've never thought about that, Jesus.

You hoped you'd figured out what you want to do by then, and it's not as

simple as that, is it?

Well, you still don't have it figured out. Go for it, so he's changing.

So you don't ever enjoy something because you're like, oh, fuck, the next

thing is like... I guess it's that thing of, like, you're always looking forward

and never looking at what you've actually done.

And all the words just further pull the wool over my eyes. I know

I'm no good at being who I am away from the light.

I'm the pretender. What can I tell you? And I'm an imposter.

But hell, there's a man there.

I'm the pretender. What can I tell you? This I didn't see.

So tell me.

Is that it?

Is that it? I wouldn't say it's one of your better ones. No.

I feel as if the stuff that you've written before, the writing was better

than that.

Obviously in my professional opinion.

And I like the one that reminds me of...

You won't release Ali Ali.

It's never musical ever in their lives.

What's that one? I'm not saying I'm musical at all.

You don't need to be.

I'm not annoyed at all. You used to come in and ask me your opinion. No, no, no.

And I would give you.

You don't need to be musical to know if you like someone.

I'm not saying you do.

You're getting too defensive here. What I'm saying is, it's funny now.

When I first started playing, it was always, oh, that's good or that's bad.

And now it's...

And the lyrics here, I would never change those lyrics.

What do I know?

What the fuck do I know?

That's a good point.

But is the music the real Lewis, though?

Good question, my way. I guess you'll never know.

Hi. Hello.

Lewis, what's going on with writing then? Who have you been working with?

It's starting to get to that time where we're going to have to start mixing up

and being in with more people. Yeah, I think... Yeah, it's been slow, bro.

We're not going to lie, it's been slow, hasn't it? We'll see how we get on with

it. Listen, if it's shite, it's shite. It's your guys' job to make it

successful.

Have you had any word on live, any gigs and that, when you're going to do them?

Everyone's, you know, pretty pessimistic.

You're writing and it kind of feels aimless because you're like, well, what

the fuck am I actually like?

writing for if we don't know if we're going to be able to play fucking gigs or

if we don't. Do you know what I mean?

It just feels right now a bit thingy, so hopefully it all starts to open up back

up. See you soon.

Bye.

I definitely think they thought they were going to hear some music now.

Oh, come on now.

He's going to make me want to go find a trampoline somewhere.

And suplex my friends.

Good old days.

Right, I keep my Johnnies.

Keep them right by my WWE wrestling trading cards.

My parents are moving.

So I'm moving all my shit out of the house.

They've lived here for 15 years.

So it's pretty heavy.

Fuck.

I don't live here anymore. or something.

Who cares?

Me and my pals used to just come in here and get pissed all the time.

And there wasn't any plaques or anything on the wall when I was, like, coming in

and I was trying to write songs and stuff.

And, um... Yeah, it's weird to then, over the years,

I actually have it fill up with plaques.

Some of you loved it, actually.

I started writing... here.

Right here.

So yeah, big room.

And I still think about it sometimes when I think of being back at school and

being like, oh, I didn't know that this was going to, this sort of path of your

life is going to go down as this fucking mad, mad thing.

This is the first one I got that my manager gave me with his TPs.

And I'm pretty sure this is the equivalent of 1.5 million units sold,

and I'm pretty sure he made that up completely.

This feeling of getting older now, I'm like, I'm an adult.

It's just fucking shit.

And you know to not have your childhood home when you grew up is better.

That's also a bit of a regret.

I don't know why, but when I think of...

That, I feel really odd. I don't like it. I get that knot in my stomach.

This not being here anymore feels like one of the last things about

my life before hand that's not there.

Feels like a safety net kind of thing. And with this not being here anymore,

that kind of feels a bit strange.

this is a very definite this house is like someone else's house now

cool

hold that okay someone else will come back and get it

obviously pay the man

Oh, my God, he's so normal. Look at him.

He's hanging up his own watch.

I don't know if this smells.

We've got a really tight shot.

I think the clue's... I've been away doing this other thing.

In a personal standpoint, I'm probably in the exact same position as I was in

three years ago, because I haven't matured at all in the last three years.

I'm moving in with my pal Niall, who I've never lived with someone else

before.

But that's just fellows.

The rest of my pals are happily shacked up with their lovers.

And I am not, so I needed someone who could just pacify me

for a bit.

Home is something that you're becoming increasingly

harder to, like, stay connected to.

Did you look through this list of songs you've written?

No. This is literally 54 songs you've written.

I feel like I've written more than that.

This is, like, four songs.

It comes and it goes, but it gets in my bones all the same.

So what do we think?

Is it a hit single as it is, do we think?

What a fucking question, Ryan. I don't know, but those are the questions.

That's what we've got to fucking answer.

It doesn't feel as, like, widely appealing as Something Loved.

Yeah. Do you want to listen to how this ends?

Let's do it.

The string is going to be incredible.

I don't really think it's a single either. I don't think it's a single. The

song is fucking amazing. The song is really good. And it's really emotional.

It's really emotional.

And it'll make people cry. Yeah.

Which is the aim of the game.

Of course.

What else is there?

Do you want to listen to Haven't You Been In Love Before?

Yeah, let's do it.

And she said this Haven't you ever been in love

before?

So... What are we thinking then on that?

Haven't you ever been in love before?

It's quite like, I was getting kind of used to being someone you love. And

fucking what?

Well, that's what I was saying, just making sure. So that's a good thing.

That's a good thing. Yeah, cool. Well, good.

Not to be condescending to people, people love stuff that sounds the same.

What's your thought, Aidan?

Folk want something a bit exciting coming back.

Do they? Do they just want the fucking same, but the better or the same?

But then that's the thing. If the song's fucking great, does it matter?

Maybe it doesn't.

Which is why we're... Fuck, it's a real... It is.

Fucking pain in the ass, innit? And I've definitely put all my eggs in one

basket. I mean, I know you have as well, but fuck it up.

Well, you're saying that as if it's not my name on it. You're talking about him.

You're talking about that basket.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is definitely an all-in-one-basket situation.

So that's what makes it even more like... Fuck it up. Obviously, you know,

still do good live business and stuff.

He's saying that like he says that. I put all my eggs in my basket.

I'm not here.

And I'm not the person that's called Lewis Capaldi whose name's on

everything. Do you have a big single?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Are they as good as Someone You Loved Before You Go?

Is there any point in coming out with a single if it's not as good as Someone

You Loved? Then you could sit there and never release a song ever again.

No, of course there's pressure.

There's pressure on you to manage it correctly.

Yeah, which I'm terrified of. OK, well, you worry about that and I'll worry

about writing this one.

Let's do it.

Lovely. Safe road.

Smashing. I'll just go knock out someone you love.

Hello. You're

not

allowed in her room.

Hello.

He's quick, isn't he?

You're twitching again.

I am.

I'm twitching. I twitch every day. Every single fucking day, man. I thought you

were going to fucking something about it.

Well, what... Chiropractic. What does one do?

Chiropractic doesn't help it.

So what helps it?

Fuck all.

Should I keep that twitch? See if you Google anxious twitches. Right. You will

find shoulder shrugging is the top one. Are you a good idiot?

Don't know.

I can't tell you.

I get it when I'm in traffic. It flares up.

Do you get it when you're in training?

Yep.

When I get proper exhausted and I'm in a big thingy, it gets really bad.

So maybe stop training?

No. No, cos that triggers it, so I should stop.

You're not supposed to mention it.

How?

Cos... Why am I not supposed to mention it? Cos you draw attention to it.

So you just kid on it's not there, then? And you don't deal with it?

Yes. Yes? How are you dealing with it?

It comes and goes.

Part of life, brother.

Get used to it.

You make it worse when you mention it.

We know he does it, so you just ignore it.

I don't know why I can't ignore it.

Why? So that you can draw attention and make it worse?

It's going to get worse.

It was. It's getting closer and closer to...

This happened to be finished.

I don't know.

Yeah, I think it's more pressure on him than we thought it was.

He's going to be worried that it's not going to be as good as people are

expecting. And then he's let everybody down, I suppose.

But you can only do what you can do.

I know you think he's quite laid back.

We think you're quite laid back.

And most things, but... Clearly not.

What?

Just... You come across as somebody that's quite laid back.

Do you know what? I suppose you could always say he had a good run.

I can say that for sure.

Well...

I'll do it.

I've ordered new shoes, which should come today, I think.

I am going to Los Angeles, the city of angels, to do a big chunk of writing,

which is exciting.

Ideally, I would like to come back with, like, an album's worth of really good

songs.

writing with all these amazing people that we didn't write with the first

album because we weren't that successful.

It's nervy as well, cos obviously I've been a bit twitchy and a bit panicky at

points, so that's a bit of a... It's definitely something that's crossed my

mind, that I'm going to be over there alone.

Oh, God.

Ooh!

It's packed.

And then, like, a plane going... And then we're in LA.

That'll be the next one.

Oh, yeah!

Let me see y'all. Come on.

I want to see y'all standing right now.

Let me... Cos we can do it!

Sammy, how you been?

This is a good pause.

Anticipation fills the air.

Ellie?

What's up?

You must just love it.

These are my yogas, my yoga notes.

Down dog, warrior one, triangle, twisted triangle, side angle.

Improves digestion metabolism circulation and sex drive Let me be up

an absolute fuck machine wet a missus down Have

you guys worked yet dad and I do the song of my first ever EP ah, you know

when I heard bruises I remember being like I need to work with this person

like this is but like this song is Yeah, do you have a bunch of shows lined

up so we've got em festivals

To those books fucking all over I do love it, but it's like well, I think

it's like quick daunting there Yeah, I mean because of covers which is or just

because just cuz I'm not done This is the longest I've ever been in my life

You'll feel like that probably till your first one you're like on stage and then

you're gonna get so fucking happy Yeah, but it's gonna be good man. I'm chuffed,

but it's like that's more I'm kind of can't think past the album just now

either

Yeah.

Because the end one, I guess, isn't going to be... Because you can maybe go

rogue on the end one.

Yeah, but I like it.

Yeah.

I don't know if... Does good news feel strong enough? I can't tell. I wouldn't

really put it where we're putting it.

Yeah, you wouldn't put it there? I would put it right at the end of it.

Like, and it would be like...

That would be the thing at the end, but you'd have to be whatever the lyric

would be. I'm also not tied to that concept.

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what the emotional angle to Good News would be.

Yeah, totally.

Because I feel like that's what's so strong about your songs is they're

always like, they're just fucking emotional and you had to make that term

feel like that.

Yeah.

Again, I'm not tied to that as well.

The way I write songs is I sit at a piano for four hours and I hate myself.

It feels like this is fucking hard and I'm shit at writing songs.

My twitch that I have gets worse when I sit down to play piano.

Physically painful.

And I get really short of breath and stuff like that and it's like a bag

fucking kills me when I've got to do it.

Which is quite... frightful.

This here is just trying to work out.

What I'm going to do

Everyone

at Spotify calls you Lulu now, and I'm sorry cuz I started that They sent like

you got a billions plaque for before you go. Oh, yeah Yeah, and so Spotify emails

me and they're like we got Lulu's billionaires

I look forward to Ryan and go, I'm sorry, I have the entire team calling

him Lulu, and I'm okay with that. Can we hear anything?

Yeah, it's all still a work in progress, and he's right too.

I mean, it's undeniable. Yeah, thank you. Can I try to work out, like,

how to come back? Because you don't want to just come back and put us on there.

No, it's got to be a moment. What have you been up to, like, outside of writing

before you got here? Nothing.

Does it feel good to get off the island for a second, or no?

It's definitely weird.

Yeah, it's like a feels like pure like not real.

I've got a twitch now.

I've never had a twitch before. I do this a lot. Yeah, you've always done

that. I feel like, yeah.

Oh, thanks guys.

It's part of the personality.

So I need to go sort that out before I... Do you think it should be guys like

pent up energy?

No, I think it's anxiety, but I don't know where it's coming from.

Once I sort this out, I'll be good to go, but I'll stay.

You see a therapist at all?

No. I've been gone for the past year.

Changed my life.

I think it's probably worth finding someone now that you can stick with

through this.

Can

I

just be clear? Are we actually firing the pyro?

Yes. If I can turn this.

Okay, fine. The numbers are good.

way too early we need to get a time

Good gig last night. I can't remember anything because I was so scared.

But hopefully a good gig tonight.

All the way through the whole arena tour, you could just see him.

Every time he played a gig, it was a struggle.

And then it came to a head at Wembley.

So I'm just gonna have to stop for two seconds out there

He fucking, he stopped singing.

So I bolted, ran down the stairs, and I'm fucking, the crowd's out in choir,

I'm shouting, Luigi, come on, and just fucking, keep going, keep going, and I'm

breaking my heart.

But you see him, and that's fucking, it's bad.

This twitch became out of control.

And it was awful. It was absolutely horrific.

It started to get in my head about, you know, these pressures about things being

like, oh, fuck, there's, like, there's, like, skin in the game there.

Rather than just me singing my silly little songs.

Other people are depending on me.

Is it worth it?

Making you feel like this?

This next year?

If all goes well, it's going to be even bigger, so it's even more pressure and

you think, how is he going to get through it?

Hello?

What's happening?

Fuck all, what's happening with you?

I took Thursday and Friday off.

Because I could go home now.

Well, you could just come out and you're like, all right, I could do a month, two

months, three months out here, whatever.

Already, I'm like, fuck, I could go home.

I will speak to you tomorrow, probably.

Love you. Bye.

I never really thought about, like, failing with things before, but it's

definitely something I've thought about over the last couple of weeks a lot

more. And I don't know if that's maybe playing into...

me not wanting to write songs.

My own confidence and my own abilities being lower now, despite the fact that

we've just done something quite incredible, still stems from that, like,

sort of... I won't be able to write any good stuff.

Let's go to LA, where the best writers and producers are, and write with them,

and maybe they'll come up with some magic or whatever.

It just doesn't work like that.

Some days I think, oh, this album's fucking...

read it going to school class and then other days I'm like fuck this is I'm a

million miles off so yeah I'm not really sure

Do I even know what I like now?

I think we're putting so much focus on making this album a more cohesive

altogether body work that it would be nice if people would listen to

it in that way

Is the music the real blues?

I feel like I'm in a

race against the clock to get my mental health in order.

If the phone rings at a certain time, then I know what the issue is.

When I have a panic attack, it feels like I'm going insane.

Completely disconnected from reality.

I can't breathe. Like, I can't feel my breath going in.

It's fucking, it's wild. And I get dizzy and I feel like there's something

happening to my head.

And I'm sweating.

my whole body starts to do, like, what my shoulder does.

Like, pure convulsing.

And the big thing for me with it is, like, that thing of, like, I'm always

going to feel like this now. This is me. I'm, like, perm mode.

And, yeah, I'm just like, oh, fuck, this is it.

Either I feel like I'm going to be stuck like that forever or I'm going to die.

His heart's pounding really, really fast.

He sometimes feels as if his vision's going, his pulse is racing.

It's just... It feels as if he's dying, that's what he says. I feel as if I'm

dying. It's not Lewis speaking.

Panicking to the extent that we can't breathe correctly, and she's calm,

getting breathing and talking through, kind of like, for hours, up to seven

hours.

Although that helps, it's not as good as having somebody physically there with

you. If something happens to you, there's nobody there to help you.

It was such a big change to his life. You just think you're going to be a bit

overwhelmed at times with stuff, so just try and relax. You're absolutely fine.

But because he's such a hypochondriac, everything Lewis always thinks that

there's this big catastrophe going on, that he's...

maybe got a brain tumour or something, cos he told me the whole way through

primary school that he had a brain tumour. I've always been, like, I've

always had hypochondria and been obsessed with, like, fuck it, like...

Like, if something's wrong with me, I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm dying.

I went to a therapist and she was like, do you not think that's maybe got

something to do with the fact that your grandmother and your aunt both died when

you were, like, three and four within a year of one another in such a short

space of time, so you're surrounded by this...

You're immediately faced with this, like, thing of, like, oh, people die.

Pat was Carol's sister.

She committed suicide.

I was there.

I saw a lot of things and stuff.

We were outside the flat.

the night my dad went upstairs and found her.

You feel so guilty that you didn't manage to stop it.

But I think you could drive yourself absolutely insane with it and you need

to get to the point and think, well, you can't stop somebody doing something.

Do you know what I mean? You can try and help, give them as much help and support

as you can, but unless they want to help themselves, there's nothing much you can

do about it.

I still feel guilty about it. I still feel as if... I need to stop.

What's wrong?

I was talking about...

Before

you go, I was talking about my hand.

I'm coming at it from an observer's standpoint.

But I've never, like, discussed what that must feel like for hearing that

tune.

Sorry.

My sister has had problems for a long time, so...

I don't know.

It was a hard time, but the song just seems to have taken a capture.

the whole feeling, if you know what I mean. It's like the questions that Carol

definitely asks herself on a daily basis.

People might get to 40 and not have a fucking...

relative to that.

So I think something that's like trickled in to my subconscious is that

our time here is like finite.

That feeds into my anxieties about my own health and my own mortality.

You think, where is all this coming from? All these deep, meaningful words

that he manages to get into us all.

He sees humanity, that darkness, and he understands it, and he can vocalise it.

I mean, I think everybody's complicated.

They've got things that they keep to themselves, and that's just Lewis. He's

not just the comedian that we all think he is.

And that's where the conflict possibly is as well, because the darkness comes

over, the happy-chappy guy, and...

manifests itself in all the tics, the anxiety, and all the other things that

he's kind of surrounded in.

Yeah.

But definitely makes me reflect a lot on how I've got to go forward and kind of

deal with my boy.

Hello, everybody.

This is a singer-songwriter whose debut album sold over 10 million...

copies worldwide someone who sold over a million concert tickets and gone from

pubs to clubs to arenas and enormous festival crowds in just a few years and

he's done so while remaining resolutely himself so please welcome to the stage

lewis capaldi

how

are you i am warm life all right

living one day to the next before my eventual demise.

Do you know what I mean?

The expectation is huge. The success of the first one made me feel more insecure

and sort of self-conscious about my own abilities.

Have a song that does well.

You get a song that does well and you're like, yes.

Oh, let's get an album that does well.

Okay, cool, nice work.

Let's have another single that does well. Okay, cool.

And then it's like, oh, let's do another album. Hopefully that does well.

It's been a looming thing, this sort of pressure.

I think I've never been more insecure in my life than I am now.

Do you spend a lot of time thinking about that, then? Oh, yeah, big time.

I'm thinking about it now.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for coming. Thank you.

You all right?

I was fucking so on. You were really anxious as well.

I mean, you were great, but it's obviously very difficult. I mean, I find

it difficult to watch you.

It's one of these things. It's not. We can't just... What can I do about it?

You're in pain because of that.

Oh, that's good.

OK,

cool, let's do it.

It's been a while, man. How are you feeling?

Like we're saying, you turn someone's fucking world upside down, you change

their life, loads of fucking cunts know who they are.

It's for singing songs.

For me, it seems like a completely normal reaction to this.

If you're put in this situation, you're going to have something.

like this, especially if you're already quite an anxious person, which I guess I

was. I didn't ever have the pressure that came to make me go, like, full

-blown.

But we're there now, so... ..we just need to do it.

Oh,

yes!

So, what do you think, Lewis?

When he was younger, he used to blink all the time.

We thought it was just because he was sitting in front of the TV too long

staring at it.

And he would occasionally make this wee noise.

But then it went away. He did that when he was about five or six and then it all

came back.

The twitch, there's no control over it.

To watch it, it's fucking horrible.

You used to get all these comments on everything as well. Oh, he's been taking

Charlie or whatever it is.

Drugs. And that's when we had to make a stand to say, right, we need to find

what the fuck this is. What's happening here?

Just this twitch became out of control, and I didn't know what it was at the

time. I've since learned that it's, I have Tourette's.

Oh, right, that makes complete sense now when I look back. I got told I had

Tourette's two weeks, no, a week ago.

Do you know how many people have told I have Tourette's since then?

It's outrageous.

People think I'm bragging.

But it's just like, it's just good to, like, I've got this thing, by the way.

That's what it makes me do.

Do you know what I mean? If I know I'm not... I know I'm not dying.

They had given him a plan of how they could treat it.

So, it's a relief.

Now, come in. Come and take a seat. Thanks very much.

Their thing to me was, like, I think it's just if you can decrease your,

like, baseline anxiety by as much as possible, you'll see a marked

improvement in any tics or twitches or whatever.

All the way back.

Toes in.

Come up a little higher.

Jesus.

Jesus on the cross.

You can see a complete difference from this muscle to the muscle on this side.

There's a treatment therapy that they can give for it.

Is this therapy where they try and change your tic?

Two, one.

Awesome.

Take five breaths when you go in.

Maximum there.

I'll go to a therapist.

I was just finding one as a fucking pain in the ring.

One gave me homework, which I was like, you added more anxiety to my life. I was

fucking doing the homework in my car outside the fucking house.

Just before I went in, and I was like, this is fucking awful.

I'm on these fucking pills, sertraline.

They're not really doing anything except for I can't get a fucking hard-on to

save my life.

Sorry.

And they gave me these shits for six weeks, so that was great.

I know what the steps are to get better. The onus is on me to do it.

I can't expect anybody else to clink their fingers when it's done.

And I know that in myself I can... I can do it.

That's nice stuff.

yeah that's nice cheers mate thank you

we're

hardcore peloton addicts now you don't just feel good afterwards you're ripping

with sweat and you're just like i feel like i've just done something my

worthless day

Started exercising, really only properly last week.

I'd say I shifted, like, a stone initially.

And now I'm back up, like... ..six pounds.

So, half a stone down.

Woo-hoo! And then this lady's been cooking me food, which is also nice, but

it's just not... Most of it's more of it.

And she keeps, like, putting... I don't like cheese.

And she keeps putting cheese in it. I mean, this actually looks pretty fucking

gross.

I'm gonna give it a go.

I mean, yesterday I had a McDonald's, so... But you worked out?

I did work out. I worked out twice yesterday.

Once in the morning, once at night.

So... I don't think that's the point, and I think... You don't do that and

then go, I've exercised twice, I haven't had a McDonald's.

But, um... And I was a bit hungover, so I had two McDonald's.

So, OK, so I actually had two McDonald's yesterday.

Yeah, it was class.

A welcome break.

I mean, you have it.

Chicken masala with cashew nuts that I don't like and under.

In two minutes.

Sort of see the therapist lady.

She's been great.

So I speak to her once a week at the moment.

I'm doing stuff even when I feel good, rather than just waiting until I feel

like shit.

I mean, there's still days when it's a bit of pain in the ass.

But, for the most part, it's a much more manageable thing.

I'm working on a song called Forget Me, which I like a lot.

It seems everything's been a bit more of a considered approach, rather than just,

oh, Mum will just change stuff for the sake of changing it. Like, actually

thinking about the song.

and what it may need.

It's rock.

I wish I looked cooler. I'd look like a wee boy. I'd be a high-chairer

over there.

Praise Lewis Capaldi!

What's going on here?

All right, let's do some work.

I'll do the vocal on Forget Me now, I think.

Hello, hello. Hello.

You all right?

Let's just go for it.

Days, aching nights are long Two years and still you're not gone Guess I'm

still holding on Drag my name through the dirt Somehow it doesn't hurt, though

Guess you're still holding on Forget Me feels like a funny way to come back as

well, with a song with a main lyric, because I'm not ready to find out you

know how to forget me.

for someone who's been away for three years and all the rest of it. It does

speak to my ego slightly.

I'm not ready to let you, forgive me to let you, forgive me to let you, oh.

I'm not ready to let you, forgive me to let you, forgive me to let you, oh.

I'm not ready to let you, forgive me to let you, forgive me to let you, oh.

What the fuck?

He's done it.

This fucking sounds amazing. Yeah, that's really good.

The vocal sounds fucking great. Yeah, I'm really chuffed about that.

Amazing. That's something I really care about.

One of the two things I actually care about enough to put that much pressure

on myself.

If it's only you putting pressure on yourself, then it's only you who can,

like, stop.

What I want to do is a tune that's totally fucking different, like that. No

one's going to think that's you. I do think that's going to have that vibe of

like, what, that's Lewis?

Which is pretty cool.

I think that Forget Me would maybe be the first thing.

Having that done is just a big weight off my shoulders.

It's a buzzer to have. It's class.

Me thinking someone else has the answers to my problems and I can't expect

anybody else to do that for me.

I need to take responsibility.

Yep, that works.

Hello?

I feel

like

we've got quite a lot of laundry related filming in this.

Bingo. Hello, how you doing? I'm going to come and sing with you.

It's been a tough day, has it?

Hello, all.

I'm Lewis.

Thanks very much for coming and doing this.

I'm proud of the album. I do fucking think it's great.

It alleviates a lot of stress.

Thank you so fucking much. Honestly, it means the world. It sounds fucking

incredible, so...

I'm about to lock the US tour.

What we should really do is make smart decisions and not play too many shows.

Definitely not doing four shows in a row.

Even with two in a row, want two days off afterwards.

If we're going to do this, we're doing all the things again and we're doing it

properly. Work at the pace you're working now. If you want to do two weeks

on, two weeks off, that feels good.

See you. Nice work. See you later.

And you.

I can't fall apart anymore.

If you knew what I know, you'll be terrified.

Haven't you ever been in love before?

That's fucking brilliant.

What's that?

Haven't you ever been in love before? That is the catchiest melody I've ever

heard. And it's a feel-good chorus.

Everyone. Even though it's like a heartbreak, it's very up.

It's going to be a good album.

I do feel like we're in a good place.

The last two years have been a bit all over the shop.

The fact that the album reflects that in some ways.

I listened to the album and I'm like, I really like this.

He's back. I'm back.

Lewis Capaldi is back.

But you're properly, this is it now, you're back. I'm back.

But I just want to put into perspective what's about to happen.

You're back with new music.

Your first album came out in May 2019.

True. That's a long time ago.

It is a long time ago. A lot has happened in the world.

There's been a pandemic, a war, and still, Lewis Capaldi's got a new single

out. It's the worst thing that could potentially be said to the British

public, but it's good to be back.

This is highly anticipated.

Your first album was the biggest selling album in the UK in 2019 and 2020.

I'm nervous.

Why? Because, as you just said, it was highly anticipated.

Yeah, but there's a lot of love coming your way. All right, hit the spacebar.

Has that worked?

Michael! Michael!

Michael!

Launch.

That was a bad omen. That was a bad omen.

Launch. Launch. Hit it.

This feels very like Kurt Cobain that kind of 90s grunt

Would you like a rim? Would a what? Would you like a rim? I thought you said

a rim.

The time now...

Looking forward to finding out

who's number one today, rooting for Capaldi.

Which means...

We have a brand new number one on the official chart.

David Guetta featuring Bebe Rexha up against Lewis Capaldi's brand new

single, Forget Me.

Lewis, you are number one!

Lewis,

how are we feeling straight in?

Congratulations, you are number one, Forget Me.

We're back!

We're back!

And vitamins.

Vitamin D.

10,000 IUs.

And B12.

Yeah, baby.

Laser. Laser.

And B12 helps transportation of oxygen.

Great.

I'm going to pick you up a little bit. Lovely.

Right now, I find it very hard to see our way back to playing on stage.

This thing I did every single fucking day, I'm like, I can't believe I ever

did that.

Having this feeling of, oh fuck, this feels like, it feels like you're

starting all over again.

Kind of wrestle with the magnitude of things.

It's now become this sort of bigger thing and it means stuff to other

people.

There's a lot of pressure.

There's a third one you need to worry about.

I'm fucking nervous.

There's a second one, Shane.

Okay,

should I be changed? Do you want me to change? Yeah.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, shit!

Hello!

Hello! How are you, bro? You okay?

Oh, I'm nervous sometimes.

You're not normal.

There's a documentary about you? Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. When the cameras are up.

It's called This Is Me.

Is it? Is it? Yeah.

It's me riding around scooters in the O2. Is it?

I've been singing the best I've ever sang. Got so much more energy.

It's almost been like a big sigh of relief.

We're doing all the right things to get to a point where I can handle it all.

We're still seeing him as Lewis and then there's this other Lewis who stands up

from the stage and sings to thousands of people.

I mean, if you can go through all this and even the things that you're

struggling with, it'll make him stronger as well.

I'm extremely proud of him.

Hopefully we'll be enough to keep him going until he finds the one.

Very proud, very proud of him.

As far as I'm concerned, his health is more important to me than anything else.

to kind of look out for him.

He'd know he doesn't want it.

The only reason I ever started writing music was so that I could play it live.

I really like it to become like a full-on career thing that I can do till

I'm, you know... I mean, I won't live till fucking whatever age Mick Jagger

is, but...

I just want to do the people around me proud and myself proud.

Going out on a stage in front of 15,000 people.

That just feels right.

you forgive me if i'm coming off a little bit obtuse well it's been a

minute now since i have had to tell the truth i know i can

i won't suppose i

thought that by this moment i would have it figured out but instead i tend to

spend my days consumed by seeds of doubt i know

I can.

I won't.

Oh, darling, it goes on and on and on.

Always forever till I'm barely holding on.

End of my tether and I know it won't be long.

It won't be long till it's gone.

That seems to leave me so unsatisfied No sense of self, but self

-obsessed I'm always trapped inside my fucking head On and on and

on, on and on and on On and on and on, on and on and on

Try to tell myself my besties are the ones that lie ahead.

But I'm always looking back on things I wish I'd never said. I know

I can.