Original subtitles

THE

GENERAL STATEMENT

Stay close!

You can even take a shower in his

calmness.

Yes, goddamn it!

Stay still!

Ah, that, too.

Hello?

Thomas.

Hello, Monika.

I wanted to ask, are we going to

see each other tonight?

If you want to know, you're talking to

a fallen girl, who is being forced by

his admirer.

Does that mean that you give up?

Are we going to do it today?

Are we going to do it today?

You have a kind of back-to-back

woodpecker.

Just say, you're forever just Knudsen.

What do you mean forever?

We've just met twice.

Exactly, and the third time you get punched.

That's how it works with me.

Very interesting.

I want to tell you something.

You get punched when it's my turn, but

when it's your turn...

Leave it, you bastard.

Listen, what's that sound?

Nonsense.

This time I'm talking to my Blackie.

But you two, you fit together.

When it's your turn, you can wait a

long time until you get me.

I don't rely on orders.

And for tonight, I don't feel like it.

Bye.

Damn, some women are a little complicated.

Just because you don't want to move on

the third night?

I would have a woodpecker method, she said.

One thing is clear, none of you care

how exhausting it is these days.

Even if it makes you too easy.

Even if it's exhausting.

That's it.

Look for another one.

There are enough women around.

That's one possibility.

The other one would be that you really

make a little more effort.

Hello, what rare words.

It sounds like it's actually getting deeper this

time.

Right, I like her honestly.

Are you coming to the cinema?

There's a movie next door.

It's called Just Like My Concerned Child.

Okay.

But we've been filming for five minutes.

Well, the other people wouldn't have watched everything

yet.

Can't you come on time?

Don't get upset, Grandpa.

The whole hall is empty.

Don't you have to stand in front of

us?

We have to, but it's midday.

Don't forget your suit.

Shut up.

Come on, let's go.

Please, why not right away?

Sweet as the sun.

Appetizing, aromatic, air-cooled.

This is Monika.

From profession to beer companion.

Hello?

Yes, Sausage.

I'm already dressed up and ready.

Ring the bell at three.

What do we do then?

Boom, boom?

At least we don't have a winner.

And that's what makes this Sausage wait.

For the pure white sweetness.

Until he comes, I'd like to go there

myself.

Could you put your cheese feet down, please?

What?

Now he's starting again.

Look, I just washed them for Christmas.

Rona, listen!

Quiet!

Hey, no touching!

If you keep disturbing the show, I'll let

you sit in the air.

Shameless boy.

What's going on over there?

Oh, Sausage.

It's time for you to come.

Either this Sausage is a blue-beard and

now has a whole hair, or he's stupid.

But Monika is a patient little angel.

Do you like it, too?

Here, have this one.

Try this one with lemon, they're fragrant.

How do I find them in the dark?

I'll find you one.

Oh, I think I've got one.

Lemon, that's right.

Quiet, you pervert!

Is this supposed to go on forever?

What's with the constant quacking?

Here, do you have something to lick?

And now we forbid any further disturbance.

Shameless boy.

Should I throw you out?

Call the police!

To hell with it!

Can we finally watch the movie in peace?

Yes, who's there?

What?

You have to...

You have to...

a meeting?

He thinks I'm stupid.

Just like me.

Monika is disappointed, but not defenseless.

She has her weapons, too.

And she certainly makes use of them.

Monika up there is not so ticklish.

I wish mine were so free, too.

How come?

That she treats you like a banana?

You're crazy.

What do you know about that?

Besides, who knows?

Maybe she's looking for a substitute nurse.

You can't go anywhere without

me.

Stay down, please.

Unfortunately, you're no substitute.

The evening had come again.

Beate's hot blood drove her on the street,

full of longing for an adventure.

A enchanting girl was sitting on a lonely

bench.

She seemed to be sleeping.

The little one looked almost innocent, and Beate

was caught by an unconditional desire to take

her home and be nice to her.

The little one, who was called Marianne, could

smile like an angel.

She seemed to take it for granted to

go with a stranger.

Beate was worried about Marianne.

She hadn't had such a sweet creature for

a long time.

Her heart beat faster when she thought of

the wonderful, passionate night she would spend with

Marianne.

Marianne's nudity attracted her irresistibly, and when she

sat in the tub, Beate couldn't help but

play the tenderest of all the bathers.

It pulled through like an electric shock when

she washed her charming guest's charming hair.

Marianne had to laugh.

But she was a pretty sharp master of

bathing.

She burst out laughing.

I only have one question about this film.

Where is the next forest?

Here, young man.

Thank you.

Well, take care.

Bye.

The inviting bed that Beate had experienced so

many hot nights of love didn't have to

wait long for the couple.

She enjoyed the beauty of the youthful body,

the softness of the long, silky hair.

She increased her anticipation for what was to

come later, when she was only looking for

the simple touch with the expectant body.

Her sensitive finger glitters long over Marianne's skin,

approaching the dark, seductive fleece.

But she hadn't touched it yet.

But it didn't take long for Beate's lips

to bend over Marianne, until Beate's tongue gave

way to her sweet play.

Soon, the other woman was caught by her

passion, which Beate radiated.

In the wild heat, the soft bodies came

together, caressed each other, embraced each other, rolled

around like playing cats, always thinking about giving

the other person the greatest pleasure, until they

experienced a devastating climax together.

Oh, little angel, why do you make it

so difficult for me?

Yes, we could have it so nice.

Yes?

Ah, Thomas.

I was just thinking about you.

At least something, huh?

What are you doing?

I just came home from the cinema.

The film was called Monica, but she was

a sharp ass, unlike you.

Not so prude.

Do you think I couldn't be sharp?

What's the matter with you?

You're all out of breath.

Tell me about the film.

What did the other Monica do?

She was constantly replaced, like me.

But she knew how to help herself.

How?

Tell me.

I already told you.

First she took care of herself, with all

kinds of objects, and then...

Yes, then?

Tell me.

Then an installer came, and he left her

in the shower.

How exactly?

If you were with me now, I'd show

you.

What?

What would you do with her?

Tell me.

Yes, I know.

Your lips suck my nose.

It's crazy.

It's...

It's crazy.

What's the matter?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.

Why are you so scared?

You think I haven't done anything?

I hope the camera is still working.

Hello?

The telephone for care has been set up.

Is that the latest trend?

Orgasm by remote control?

That was Thomas.

I haven't told you about him yet.

Who knows if there's anything out of it.

It's obvious that you need it very much.

Maybe, but I hate it when the guys

think that a girl always lies down right

away.

He will still bite my teeth.

Something else, I have to go over the

weekend.

Pack me a little suitcase, the usual.

Okay, dad.

Here, you stiff tooth.

You're lucky that I'm your father.

Or bad luck, this stinky disc could cut

off from you.

Don't worry, Inspector, we know what belongs to

you.

Good morning, here I am.

Good morning, my dearest.

Is that what you want?

Bravo, you're developing.

I love you, but I won't let you

kill me.

Who's talking about killing you, I'm curious about

you.

Oh, what?

We're going on a wonderful trip on this

wonderful day, that's all.

Exactly.

Can I help you?

Manu, is that yours?

I borrowed it from a friend.

And of course you're sitting down.

We're not going to use it.

You're making me think of your eternal sex

thoughts.

Here you are, darling.

Isn't it wonderful to be so carefree?

Not burdened by erotic problems.

Do you want to hug me?

In reality, you're making fun of me in

a fort, so that you can get rid

of me as soon as possible.

In a fort?

You mean in your Opel?

In any case, uninterrupted.

Oh, darling, that's a great idea of yours.

Believe me, your yesterday's sandburger really helped me.

Cute.

Come here, come.

Hey, I hope you brought something to eat

for me.

Look, the little brownie hasn't come yet.

Come here.

There you are.

He's really greedy.

Don't you want to go up there?

It's fun there.

Up there.

I've decided that we're going to be happy

and innocent as kids today.

You're really stupid.

Am I?

Yes.

Come on, let's go down.

Oh, Satan, do not tempt me.

I may not be as strong as these

monks.

Of all people, the monks are the worst.

Do not talk nonsense.

Convince yourself.

Good day, where can we put the basket?

We bring something to eat and drink for

the poor men.

Go ahead.

You do not know that?

Have you never read the Bible?

How can you be so uneducated?

Brother Andreas, how do I find this?

And how are you?

Lord, keep me in heaven above all.

Wait a minute.

Now they're in.

Maybe we'll find a window to look through.

Come on.

Put it there.

Pretty hot today.

Would you like a glass of wine, my

daughters?

Why not?

Yes, I'd love to.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Here, for you.

Well, a harmless glass will be allowed to

you.

The first glass is always harmless.

Are you so stupid or are you really

stupid?

Oh, my dress.

The devil, Andreas.

Lots of red spots.

Here, take it.

I'd better not take it off.

Well, what did I say?

I'm speechless.

No, that's not possible.

Or would you warm me up a little?

No, thanks.

I'm a father, I don't dare to try.

A human child, that's the purest virtue.

Come on, it's getting on my nerves.

Oh, please, stay.

By the way, yesterday at the telephone booth,

what was going on there?

A terrible evening hour.

Suddenly my old man was in bed.

Hey, do you call that happy and innocent

like me?

What about the children?

I told you right away.

Watching is risky.

Good thing you kept me yesterday, otherwise I

might have gone to bed now.

And would be hungry with you.

You would defend yourself, and in the end

there would only be a crash and probably

an accident.

Probably even.

Thank you very much for saving me that.

You're welcome.

And now on with our fragrant walk.

I think I pulled in a splinter.

Can I see?

It seems to me.

Sit down, I can't see anything.

Take it apart.

No overlaps.

I don't see anything.

Neither left nor right.

Missing.

Maybe I just twisted a little.

Look there.

There simply.

Oh, Sarah, now I've made the dress all

wet.

I'm just doing.

It dries quickly on your body.

Do you think I want to freeze to

death?

Then take it off and hang it to

dry.

But not here.

We're looking for a lonely light.

This guy even does.

We can take a short sunbath.

You have a crazy figure, you have to

get rid of that.

Your first compliment today.

That means heaven's will, not that I want

to eat you.

You're behaving like a gentleman today.

You didn't even kiss me.

What for?

Kissing is part of sex, when you're red.

You totally misunderstood me.

I just said...

Do you recognize me?

That I only fart when I'm hungry.

It's also possible without, as you can see.

Look at us both.

No quarrels, no tension.

In front too, yes?

If you still don't like it, I'll give

you three little sedatives.

And if you can't take it anymore, you

can still go to the massage parlor.

Why?

What does the massage parlor have to do

with sex?

This time you're not on the running, honey.

I've heard some people, but what exactly?

Have you ever been to a salon like

this?

Reinold told me.

A friend of mine, a very strange story,

in which his wife also plays.

What's going on?

The two of them were sitting around at

home, and Reinold was somehow in the mood

for a change.

He told his wife about a meeting and

got depressed.

His bad luck was, that he left the

newspaper lying, in which he had crossed the

massage parlor.

With the newspaper he left behind, he got

a good tip from his wife.

It's just that she followed him.

On the contrary, she did it in a

much better way.

When the old man came home, and acted

as if nothing had happened, his wife threw

him the newspaper, and asked him if he

felt really relaxed.

Reinold fell out of all the clouds, especially

when his wife told him how she had

used the time.

In the end, they both laughed.

Thank God, they are very tolerant.

If it upsets you so much, I can't

tell you anything in the future.

If I had a boyfriend, I would treat

him in such a way, that he would

lose his appetite for massage parlors.

Oh, don't give me that.

You think I'm a sexual blind man?

As far as men are concerned, yes.

What does that mean?

Well, you're happiest if you do it yourself.

You should be ashamed to say something like

that.

Don't get upset.

We want to enjoy this silence together a

little more, and then we'll go eat something.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Well, cheers, my darling.

Let's drink to the best memory of our

being together today.

Cheers, my love.

Two strong breakfasts, please.

Don't you want to have lunch like the

other ladies?

Oh, we probably slept a little too long,

so bring us the coffee, please.

Of course, I'd love to.

Because they slept too long, and they were

so drunk, that they had a bad hangover.

Can't you tell?

But, Thomas...

I mean, of course, they also got drunk

because of that damn sex devil.

Disgusting.

Look at that.

Come on, kids, hurry up.

Come on, quick.

Let's see if we can find your father

here.

Annemarie!

David!

Emilie!

Fritz!

What are you doing?

My dear, who is that?

You're still asking?

Only a deceitful wife can do such things.

Turn around, or I'll kill your father.

Is that so?

You're married, and you have a three-time

father.

There!

You fat pig!

Sabine, where are you going?

Where have you been all night?

In this junkyard?

Excuse me, we're in a hurry.

You be quiet!

Isn't that our food?

It looks like it.

Let go of me!

I'll kill you!

Don't be afraid.

I'll kill you!

What are you doing?

Give the poor girl a break.

Come home, you're making a mess.

Come on!

There!

Don't forget your clothes.

You fat pig!

You're a traitor!

There!

There's your dirty stuff!

There!

There!

You dirty pig!

What's wrong with you, you shameless person?

She's even wearing a dress!

There!

Wait a minute!

Pick up your stuff and get out of

here!

What's wrong with you?

Pick up your stuff!

What's wrong with you?

He gave it to me!

I don't care!

Where did you get the dress?

What's wrong with you?

Come on, get in the car.

Don't smell anything.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry!

How much longer are you going to make

me suffer?

Excuse me, gentlemen, don't you think it's always

like this here?

She barricaded herself in the toilet, we have

to break open the door.

I'll give up my mind.

Help, is there no more cavalry?

I can't let that sit on me.

Here, maybe you can do it.

Thank you.

Here, give me that, you beast.

Come to our table.

That could suit you, just running away.

That's enough, you should get undressed first.

Don't let me catch you again.

A double schnapps, please.

You can't sit here like that.

What should I do?

I know.

Don't you have anything for her?

Next time I'll bring some spare clothes, then

you can play cavalry unhindered.

And you, you don't rent your room to

marriage breakers anymore.

Thank you for saving my life.

You don't have to thank me, darling.

You have nothing against me.

Don't be afraid, we're like brothers and sisters.

At least you can't slip into such shit.

A double, please.

One more, miss.

A single girl can experience a lot, I'm

telling you.

It was the same with my sister.

She tried it recently as a housemaid.

That was one of those things.

She got the address from the newspaper.

A young married couple was looking for help.

Multi-faceted.

What they

meant by multi-faceted was clear when the

young wife of my sister gave French fashion

to put on.

So it went on for a few weeks,

then he was totally worn out.

And they didn't have any use for the

house spirit anymore.

So we both are single all of a

sudden.

Thank you.

You ate the six with spoons, didn't you?

Sure, it tastes great.

My companion doesn't make any sense at all.

You, maybe?

In God's free nature, without sexual problems.

Children, you're stupid.

When do you want to catch up when

you're 80?

Listen, you take me with you to the

city and I'll take you as a reward

to a live show.

In a closed circle, you know.

Like the famous private shows in Copenhagen.

Oh, that's great.

Before that, we just have to pass by

the travel agency where I work.

There's a dress of mine back there.

No, we'll look until the posters...

Oh, you

want to leave right away.

Is that true, Thomas?

I don't know, darling.

Such a vacation is only for couples who

really belong together.

If you're lazy and don't have anything to

do...

You get some sleep, eat, lie around in

the sun.

You're too tired for everything, but not for

one thing.

For love.

You think about it all the time.

Love plays the main role on vacation.

Sea air makes it hot.

If you have a girl with you who

mimics the game destroyer...

The game destroyer is really mean.

And he's right in the clique.

No one is allowed to exclude themselves.

Otherwise, there will never be a vacation.

Good day.

Typical.

The whole week you don't see anyone in

the living room.

But when you're half-naked, you meet the

janitor, the cleaning lady...

...the partner Schröder.

Why is the fat guy always looking at

me like that?

Thank God there's at least no one in

the office.

Where is he?

On Saturday afternoon.

A nice back can also tickle.

Mr. Bleibtreu, what are you doing here?

Actually, I wanted to work on something in

the bookkeeping.

But I had the feeling that something special

was going to happen to me today.

No false hope, my dear.

I'll be expected outside.

Not just outside.

Inside, too.

Mr. Bleibtreu, have you gone mad?

Just wild.

Wild?

Wild, to see your mops in all its

glory.

I've been waiting for you to come to

the office.

So, show your twins your beauty, and you'll

get your dress back.

Yes, hopefully they won't go blind.

Really wonderful things.

How many men have you driven mad with

them?

We're not really compatible with them.

Don't be so small, not compared to a

beloved colleague.

That's how hours of fun are made.

Too bad you can't take these machines home

for processing.

I can take it home with me.

It's not crumpled, it's just in the fingers.

That's how it should be.

But that's enough for us.

On the contrary, now I want to get

to know your Mieze cat.

Far too far left.

I carry right.

That's enough, boy, or I'll get mad.

So.

Come on, you little beast, that the whole

office is sharp.

Stay away from my body, you shit.

Do you want to rape me?

Why not?

Would certainly be a nice memory for the

whole life.

But first you have to take off your

pants.

No.

No.

You know what?

Now we'll do it on the desk.

A little more comfortable.

Let me go, you stupid dog.

Do not think that you impress me more

in underpants.

One should not praise the day before the

evening.

Yes.

If only I had heard the number 2.

You must have heard that.

You and me, exactly.

Do not think that you can fool me

so easily.

Just wait.

The colleagues in the office should burst with

envy.

You poor fool.

I'm getting curious.

Damn.

Shut up.

Maybe I should play the guide.

But you have to rape me alone.

No.

That's harder than I thought.

What are you doing?

I do not complain to the old man.

What a bitch you are.

Dear Mr. Director.

Your bookkeeper, Mr. Bleibtreu, is a big swine.

He attacked me in the office this afternoon

to rape me.

What is it?

If I write about rape, you have to

do it.

It does not work suddenly.

I do not know.

Maybe it's a pipe cover.

It's no use.

Too much noise for nothing.

I'm sick of you.

And what now?

You can get dressed again.

What should I do?

The colleagues will burst with envy.

How do you feel?

Not bad.

But I heard that chickens are very busy.

That's because the chickens like it.

Wait a minute.

That was a nice painting.

The woman with the lily.

That's the famous Mexican woman who makes women

disappear.

Now you're in trouble.

Do not tell such scary stories.

Concentrate on the picture.

So you know what you're doing.

What do you do?

Stop that.

Brahmi therapy.

I'll call you Roll and Neighbor.

I'll see you later.

Of course, Robin.

Well, how do you like the shares?

I'm just checking the different offers.

You can still get involved.

Where are you sitting?

I'm coming over there.

Very well spent.

In any case, it has great momentum.

Well, how do you like it?

Not a bad shop.

I think you can let off steam here.

Especially when the stage show begins.

Then the three whites from the Morgenland will

probably appear.

But with their favorite song.

Well, that's a surprise.

What are you doing here?

Thomas.

Unfortunately, we were only noticed today on this

pool of sins.

Just like us.

Come, I'll introduce you to my caretaker.

But be nice to her.

I will love to hug her.

Not so nice again.

Good evening, anyway.

Take my chair.

I have to go to the bank for

a while.

Thank you.

I have to go to the bank for

a while.

How was your trip?

Oh, very pretty.

Really.

Did you ever come here?

Yes, you can say that.

Of course, in recognition of the necessary respect.

Wasn't it, darling?

Dear guests, we're starting our night program with

the international hit Miss Eva in her candle

orgy.

I have to go to the bank for

a while.

I can't come to the live show.

I have to go to my own home.

But you have to go.

You show me a map, then everything is

okay.

Address is on it.

Thomas, does that have to be?

Look, if we don't do the sex show,

we can at least have him perform.

Sit back.

No one will see you if you turn

red.

So, have fun.

The second number is called Visiting the Photographer.

Missing something, angel?

Oh, it's empty again.

Miss, you have a fast train today.

Two new whiskeys.

Actually, you're a great guy.

I've always said that.

And now I want a kiss.

To your responsibility.

Do you want another one?

Don't you want to sit on my lap?

Then you can see the stage better.

Really?

Then I can do it better.

Don't you want to kiss me?

Do you want another one?

Can I see something?

Only to see what I feel.

You can't go down like that.

I can't.

Of course you can't.

By the way, Thomas, you still have my

movie.

Oh yeah, right.

You'll get it back tomorrow.

What movie?

About my Italy vacation last summer.

I don't know that one.

I didn't know you back then either.

Who were you there with?

Oh, come on.

That's how it goes when you're too curious.

And now our sensation Matthias and Klaus.

Yes, hello.

Two men.

Why don't we run away?

I'm not interested in that.

You don't see that every day.

I don't think that's for me.

Could we skip to the live show?

As you wish, little angel.

Good evening, Miss.

Good evening.

He'll be nice again.

I hope so.

Good evening.

Who are you?

Miss Sabine Wagmann invited us.

I see, yes.

Let's go in.

As an inconspicuous flea, a noble woman, and

her flock, around the closet, and the last

piece of clothing.

I think that's a flea.

For heaven's sake, where?

I've never seen anything like it.

Where did he come from?

I don't know, madam.

Now he's in there.

I can't get him in there.

I have to take his blouse off.

Now he's coming to you.

You'd better hurry.

Why, madam?

I'm sure you got that from the milkman.

Madam, I saw him on your blouse.

May I?

Then go ahead.

How beautiful you are.

I've been waiting for this moment for a

long time.

Look for the flea!

Maybe I can.

Now let's look for it in your house.

Where is that damn animal?

A flea isn't that bad.

Or do you have something against pets?

Maybe it's in the hair.

I just can't find it.

Madam, let me look for it in your

house.

If I were a flea, I would have

jumped to you, and not stayed with me.

Look for the flea, you whimsical little pig!

There!

There!

There!

Now he's in there.

I can't get him in there.

What now?

There!

There he jumps!

Exactly!

Maybe there?

Is it in there?

Of course.

I think so.

Of course.

Now he's headed for the gentleman.

No, no, he's heading for this one.

I'll go.

I have to search for it.

The flower must be made harmless before it

grows.

Don't worry, it won't hurt.

I got it!

I got one too, but it's much bigger

than I thought.

Mine too, just as scary.

Besides, it's mine.

This is mine.

Please, then keep it.

We'll look for new ones tomorrow.

So, my dear girls and boys, after we

managed to get you in a good mood,

we'll show you...

We'll show you...

what you can do later on, too, when

you're strong and healthy and over 21.

And daddy and mommy won't have to look

after you anymore.

See you later, Ingo and Sam, in your

chain show.

Are you back already?

You whore!

You think you can fool me, but you'll

never succeed.

Get me out of this chain.

Set me free.

Then I'll stand before you with my head

held high.

But I'll never be at your mercy.

I never wanted anything to do with you.

You don't have to be so mean.

You want to ruin my plans, just before

the end of the tournament.

It's their fault.

If it's too much for you, I can

take you home.

I understand.

Go away!

No!

No!

No!

What do you want to do next, Miss?

Could we see the movie you have from

Irina?

He's very brave.

He can't be braver than that.

Psst!

Mrs. Köhler, I have a telegram for you.

Nice of you.

Do you want to come in for a

moment, sweetheart?

Sure, why not?

Then the weather, there it goes round.

So this is what your lustscape looks like,

storm-free and very inviting.

And there?

Are you looking for something?

The strokes and the curves with which you

mark your shots.

I have them in my head.

Take something to drink.

Okay.

Where can I take a seat?

Sit on the bed from there you see

it best.

I almost thought so.

Would you turn off the light?

So now Irene will show you what a

tempting Italy vacation looks like.

What's wrong?

Are you crazy?

If I do that, it would mean that

we are really together.

That's logical.

Do you think I'm stupid?

No, but you didn't want that on the

third day.

The only thing I'm afraid of is that

there are boys who just want to seduce

a girl.

And the faster a girl seduces a boy,

the sooner it's over with love.

Don't worry, little angel.

Our thing takes time.