Original subtitles

Anyone seen Jacky? You've seen Jack, Ozzy?

I'm always looking for Jack, I don't know where he is.

I have something that I have found.

- Here we are then. - It's a surprise.

- What is it? - It might help us.

Go on.

No more pee breaks.

You can just let it go.

[laughing]

All right, the drinks are on me.

[Jack] We may be the first family of darkness,

- but not all of us are true believers in the paranormal. - Ooh!

They wanna believe...

Has a ghost ever been caught on film?

Yes.

[Jack] And I have the evidence that will blow their minds.

[laughing maniacally]

I think you're starting to believe.

Seeing is believing.

[man] Whoa. What is happening?

Oh, God, no.

[laughing maniacally]

- All right, here we are-- - Hit us with it, Jack.

We have gathered here today...

- Go on. - Dearly beloveds.

This clip is awesome.

It's actually a clip from...

There's, like, an hour-and-a-half-long documentary

about this location.

I'm gonna read you this blurb

- to kind of give you some back story. - [Sharon] Go on.

"In 2007, this family was experiencing

some weird activity in their home,

most notably the pantry door opening by itself.

They would go to bed with the pantry door closed

and wake up to find it open.

So they set up a camera filming the pantry

and sure enough every single night at 12:34 a.m.,

the door would open on its own,

and an entity would appear behind the door...

So check this out.

Righty-o.

[Jack] So, this guy is a paranormal investigator

who is following this family online,

and he asked to come down to see the house

and the pantry ghost for himself.

The owner of the house, who wishes to remain anonymous

is behind the camera filming.

Those are the only two people in the room.

Now watch the glass.

See the hands?

[man] Oh, my God. Go, go, go, go. [bleep] Go. Go. Go.

Go on.

What the hell is that?

[Jack] Hands in the glass.

[man] What the hell is that?

- [man 2] Oh, my God. - [Jack] There's a face.

[man] Oh my God, dude.

- [Jack] Do you see the face with the hands? - Yeah.

- [Ozzy] Oh, yeah. - [bleep]

Now watch, it opens by itself.

Nothing there.

Wow, that's pretty cool.

[Jack] Isn't that [bleep] crazy? Look at that [bleep].

[Ozzy] Definitely seen two hands and a face.

[Jack] Now, it got worse for the family, though.

So they brought the raw footage

to a special effects, uh, studio in L.A.

and they could not find any indication

- that any of this was altered. - It looks pretty convincing.

[Jack] Anything.

Uh, they eventually tried putting a lock

on the door and still the door would open.

Uh, they even took the door off completely

and that's when things got really bad for them.

Their daughter Ariana began playing with a woman

named Mable who only spoke to Ariana

while her eyes were closed.

They brought in an energy worker of sorts,

and she picked up bad energy in the house

and even drew a woman with dark hair

that she said was in the house.

That same night, Mable pulled Ariana's hair...

- [girl screaming] - so the family decided to move out immediately.

The entire week they were packing,

they heard crying every night.

After they moved they, uh, developed some family

pictures and they saw a roll that somebody had taken

pictures of the family while they were sleeping at night.

They knew it had to be Mable.

Would you go spend the night at that house?

No.

-I wonder what happened to that house, -I don't know.

'Cause if you sell it, you have to say

- that there's something there. - I don't think you have to...

I don't think there's a ghost disclosure, really.

- You... - [Jack] Do you have to...

- You have to disclose. - If there's a murder.

You don't have to say anything if there's a ghost.

No, if there's anything unusual or whatever,

- you have to disclose. - "There's something wrong with that door.

I don't know, acts up."

[laughing]

I would-- do you know what I would've done?

- What? - I would've got rid of the door

and, like...

[Jack] They took the door off.

Put the, put a wall over to cover it.

I would've just said, "Hey, Mable, [bleep] off.

- You're not welcome." - [chuckles] See ya.

On the Woogie-Boogie scale, I give that a nine.

I'll give that a nine as well.

- Mum? - Oh, a ten.

- A ten? - Yeah, probably the most...

- Out of the gate. - Convincing

ghosty footage I've seen.

Tens. Only tens up in here.

Uh, all right. Moving on.

[Sharon] Yeah.

Uh, triplets see ghost.

This is Georgia, January 26th, 2021.

Now, this woman named Caitlin overheard her two year-old

triplets talking to each other in their room one night.

So, she checked the monitor and saw them walking around

pointing and totally freaking out.

And they were, like, having a conversation

as if someone was there and no one was there.

Um, check out what she caught.

And they're just little babies, right?

- And they're so cute. - Okay.

[Sharon] They're messy little so-and-sos.

[Ozzy speaking]

[Jack] Those are the triplets.

It's looking like they're causing all sorts

of havoc in that room.

Now, watch how they keep going back to the same spot,

and appear to be arguing with something.

At points, they're even yelling.

[yelling]

That corner right there seems very dangerous to me.

[Sharon] It does, doesn't it?

[Jack] Whatever it is can only be seen by them.

The mother says the girls have woken up in the past

claiming there's a monster in that very same spot.

She's talking about a monster on the wall.

[screaming]

[Jack] That's just a night light.

[Sharon] Those little dolls.

Little peanuts.

What do you think?

Do you think they were visited by a ghost?

When we were little, did we do anything weird like that?

All of the time.

You wouldn't sleep in your room

because Spider-Man was on the wall.

- I had it painted... - Also, you thought a shark was going to bite you.

I remember being scared of the sharks

and then you got me the pet shark

that jumped out of the cage one night.

Yeah, it used to do that to the lid.

So the lid was always doing that.

- [teeth chattering] - The shark was only this big.

[Jack] Yes, but it was still a shark in my bedroom.

- Could it have got bigger? - I think, what, Dad,

you guys got rid of it 'cause you said

it was getting too big for the cage.

[Ozzy] No, no, no. You were screaming

- and you wouldn't go to sleep. - We gave it to someone 'cause you didn't like it.

[imitates crying]

Um, I think that they were too young

to wind each other up with something being there.

- They were just a bit too young. - They're just playing.

You think it was all just make believe they're playing?

- No. - No, I think...

- kids are very good at winding each other up. - Mm-hmm.

And I have such a vivid image of you

both saying that,

but I reckon young girls are very susceptible

of a poltergeist ghost.

And it could look like to me,

that the kids are having a ball of a time,

which is very possible,

or it was the other thing was throwing [bleep] around.

[Sharon] Jesus. [laughs]

That room looked like a [bleep]

- bomb had gone off. - Like Kelly's room.

All right, where would you put that

on the Woogie-Boogie scale?

- Five. - Five, definitely.

- [Jack] Five? Okay. - Yeah.

It could go either way because of just,

you know, kids play, kids have a good imagination.

But then again, some kids do see [bleep] that's dead.

Um, okay.

So, this next clip reveals spooky footage

from a ghostly figure walking past the camera

in a cemetery at a haunted manor.

Uh, this could be a spirit of a plague victim who died in the 1400s.

This ghost hunting team goes to this location.

It's a manor that has a graveyard

associated with it.

- Okay. - Um, and they said

they felt a presence.

- Mm-hmm. - Um...

And they caught a figure on camera.

- Oh. Let's go. - [Ozzy] Is it Christmas?

Is it Christmas? No, it's March.

[laughing]

[Jack] Now, keep an eye on the right side of the screen.

- What am I looking? - What am I looking at?

It's like someone runs up behind him.

The guy says he heard footsteps,

but didn't see anything

until he looked at the footage much later.

[Jack] You see?

It looks like someone's feet and arms running.

[Sharon] I can't see anything, Jacky.

- [Jack] Look, right here. - What the [bleep] am I looking at?

Look right here.

[Jack] See that circle?

- See? - [Ozzy] I can't see [bleep].

You just can't see 'cause of the glare. It's right here.

There's like a figure, you can maybe see it in the computer.

I can't see it because there's a [bleep] arrow going up and down there.

Look, Jack.

Look, there's an arrow right here. Look. Right here.

[laughing]

[Jack] Right here.

[Jack] You can see an arm.

That looks like an arm and, like, a bit of a leg.

[yawns] I can't see [bleep] 'cause there's nothing there.

What do you give that on the Woogie-Boogie scale, Dad?

Minus 15.

- It's not an option. No. False. - [buzzer rings]

- Oh, [bleep]. - False.

Half.

A negative 15, I don't accept that answer.

[imitates Donald Trump] I want a recount.

We are going to recount the Woogie-Boogie.

Yeah.

[Jack] We'll recount it. No, only tens. We only have tens.

[imitates Donald Trump] That was a load of crap.

They should be burning China.

[Sharon] I've had enough of this guy.

All right. Well, fine,

- we'll move on then. - Yeah, you'd figure it's [bleep].

We'll move on.

With that negative [bleep] 14 or whatever it is you gave me.

I'd like to see what you can dig up.

The LAPD said nothing about it.

Dad, have you ever been that high?

Higher.

What is your understanding of the Illuminati?

- This is-- - [Sharon] What the [bleep] is that?

[Jack] That's in the Denver airport. Mum.

- Yes. - Bigfoot.

Well, you know I'm a Bigfoot groupie.

[laughing maniacally]

How are we feeling?

Ten now, son. We're getting there.

Are we believing?

Ish.

- Ish. - Okay.

- I'll take it. - It's rolling "ish" today.

It's an "Ish" -ish.

[laughing maniacally]

Okay, UFO sighting, May 25th, 2019.

People thought it was a jetpack guy.

Yeah.

The police even sent a helicopter

to go check it out,

and the police never said a damn thing about it.

Look.

That doesn't look like a jetpack guy.

No.

Look, it's like a weird U-shape.

Everyone thought, "Oh, it's a jetpack guy."

But the police are super close to it.

It's a person, isn't it?

[Jack] It's not.

It's a-- I don't know.

[Ozzy] It's a person. You see his arms and legs.

I don't see a person.

[Sharon] Where was this, Jack?

[Jack] This was in Sylmar.

[Ozzy] Where was this?

- [Jack] Sylmar. - [Ozzy] Where?

[Jack] California. Sylmar, not far from here.

Like an hour away.

That was recently, yes.

I saw that and I saw the footage,

and they're flying, and they look out of the airplane

and there's a guy in a fuckin' jetpack.

- Oh, it was a guy. - [Jack] Yes.

- This, though-- - That looks like a guy.

Look, his two legs.

You think that looks like a guy?

They do jetpacks as sophisticated

- as that for the public? - [Jack] Yeah.

[Jack] No, it's like a--

No, well, this guy's obviously--

Obviously, like, a buff and built one of them.

Yeah, I think he just built it.

- Does that look like a jetpack? - [Ozzy speaking]

I don't know.

[Jack] I thought maybe it was a drone.

No, it looks like a person, you see,

them two things are his legs.

I give that... seven.

- So you give it a seven on the Woogie-Boogie? - Yup.

[Jack] Mom, what do you give it?

- A seven on the Woogie-Boogie. - Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Well, why didn't the helicopter

say what it was?

Well that's the thing.

The LAPD said nothing about it.

If it was a jetpack guy, he would be doing it

illegally, you can't fly that high in a jetpack.

No. And you would've been arrested.

[Jack] So the cops would've been like, "The [bleep] are you doing?"

Like, "Hey, you, the [bleep] in a jetpack, land."

- Yeah. - That never happened.

There never was anything that came through.

Any other-- They never released the footage of it.

Like, that would be amazing footage.

So the kids that were filming didn't follow him?

Maybe, again, it's the military testing out a...

- [Sharon] A jetpack. - A jetpack.

And the cops got to him and he's like, "[bleep] off.

I'm testing this out."

[laughs] "[bleep] off. I'm testing this out,"

in Sylmar of all places.

Area 51, eh. Sylmar, eh.

To me, that looks like a guy in the sky.

[Jack] I don't know what it is.

- [Sharon] No, don't-- - [Jack] If it was a guy,

I feel like the LAPD would've released the footage.

- It would've been a thing. - So it's probably military.

I'm guessing if that's probably a high likelihood

that it's some military tech.

Yeah.

Or a UFO.

Dad, have you ever been that high?

Higher.

[laughing]

Dad, in your best baritone voice,

can you say, "From the vault"?

[Ozzy] From the vault!

[Jack chuckles]

Um, okay, this next segment is a "From the vault."

This next clip, it's called the Westfall UFO encounter

and it's kinda considered Australia's Roswell.

It was a huge, like, pinnacle UFO encounter

for that just changed the way the country thinks of UFOs.

- Oh. - Okay.

Lovely.

I'm looking forward to seeing this.

[Jack] So, the encounter occurred Wednesday,

April 6th, 1966, at 11:00 a.m.,

and lasted for almost 20 minutes.

200 students saw this for 20 minutes.

[Sharon] Hovering. It's hovering.

[Jack] Yes, and it landed in a [bleep] field.

Look at that.

[Sharon] Oh, [bleep].

[Jack] That is not [bleep].

It's just super imposed [bleep] photo.

That is as real as it gets.

[Ozzy] Mmm.

[imitates Trump] I don't believe it's real.

This photo was actually taken by the US Air force.

They took it and they added it

to their archives, um, and--

[laughing]

And did they get to the field?

Um, this is one--

- What happened to the people? - I don't know, actually.

I'm assuming they went and checked the field out.

But it was one of the biggest mysteries

in Australian history.

Yes, but if 200 people there.

Surely one of them would've have the brains

to phone the local [bleep] police.

They did. And they even took a picture.

- [Sharon] Well, you see... - Not a film?

They didn't have cameras?

I think they were short on iPhones back then.

[Sharon] See?

You know, if you're an Aussie.

What happens when somebody gets killed?

[Sharon] It's just a really crude version

of what we think a flying saucer looks like.

Yeah, but why wouldn't it look like that?

Why would it? Because it looks ridiculous.

[Ozzy] It's just a classic [bleep].

You've seen what Bob Lazar, who worked at Area 51--

Have you seen the UFOs that he drew?

I disagree with that statement.

I think that Bob Lazar is credible.

He's had over a dozen polygraph tests.

- Never [bleep] liar. - He's a [bleep] nutcase.

This was witnessed by 200 people.

[Sharon] Mm-hmm.

It's gotta count for something.

I just think that the...

- It's too convenient-- - The saucer

- is something out of E.T. or... - A comic.

Bloody, yes, it's too crude.

Okay. What do we think?

What do we give this in the Woogie-Boogie scale?

- A five. - [Jack] Mom?

Four.

I'm giving this an eight.

- [Sharon] You are? - Yes.

I think the fact that there were 200 eye-witnesses

to this, and I think it's a--

Hmm.

[Sharon] Not in 1966.

Yeah, Australia was pretty strict back then.

- [Ozzy] Next. - Uh, all right.

Let's move on.

What were you guys doing in 1966?

You'd have been 18.

[chuckling]

Mom, what were you doing?

'66.

Did you have big hair? Flower dress?

Yeah, and I used to paint little flowers here.

- Oh, you [bleep] hippie. - You were a hippie.

[bleep] try hard hippie.

A UFO hippie.

[laughing]

[Jack] Were you just hanging out in London

in like high, white boots?

I did. I had, they were made by a company called Courrèges.

Courrèges boots.

- Fabulous. - [Jack] Yeah?

- Oh, yeah, I can see that. - [Jack] Can you see

the owl? I mean, these are weird photos.

Check it out. This is the ceremony in robes.

I could well get blind to that.

Bigfoot's a load of old bollocks.

Why are you so cynical?

[Jack] Why is there a gorilla running around in the Russian forest?

Because there aren't such a thing as [bleep] Bigfoot.

[laughing maniacally]

Oh, you know what I'd give it?

- What? - Nobel prize.

- That's what I'd give it. - A Golden Globe.

Yeah, Golden-- I'd give it a Golden Globe.

Golden Globe right there.

I actually think the Woogie-Boogie scale

carries more merit than the Golden Globes.

[laughing]

I think you're right, Jack.

Right?

[laughing maniacally]

Okay. What is your understanding of the Illuminati?

I don't know, but it was in a film with Tom Hanks.

Okay.

And they were chasing it, looking for it,

something for it.

I believe you're talking about The Da Vinci Code.

Yes.

[Jack] And, yes, so they were featured.

The theory of the Illuminati was featured there.

[Jack] Buckle up, we're going down another rabbit hole.

In short, there is a conspiracy theory

that the Illuminati is the real life secret society

of extremely powerful and wealthy people

who run the world.

I-I-I could well get blend to that.

- I agree. - [Ozzy] I think was a--

It's like a body of people

that you don't really see. Never.

They never go on the press.

Nobody ever knows where they live,

nobody knows anything about them.

The Illuminati was the real secret society,

and it was founded in Bavaria in 1776.

The organization was a complex network of spies

and counterspies who reported to superiors who are unknown.

In 1785, the spies had infiltrated

governments holding high-profile positions.

The Illuminati was then banned,

but conspiracy theorists believe--

- Went underground. - Yep.

Fully went underground

and it's still running the world now.

Wouldn't surprise me.

[Jack] There are lots of symbols associated with the Illuminati

and they've kinda been hidden in plain view.

They're everywhere.

Um, all over DC, uh, in our dollar bills.

Uh, I mean, the list goes on and on.

All over Europe.

It's not just like an isolated American thing.

The Illuminati symbol, the eye of the providence,

is on the US dollar.

The one-dollar bill.

It's the weird pyramid with the eye.

And the motto is "Novus Ordo Seclorum,"

translates to "New Order of the Ages."

Conspiracy theorists have interpreted this

to mean the new world order, and believe this,

the Illuminati is behind it.

- The eye? - [Jack] Right in front of our eyes. Yep.

- You've got the eye. - [Ozzy] The pyramid with the eye.

[Jack] And then there is an owl.

An owl hidden in the dollar bill.

It's very hard to see, but right there.

The original seal of the Bavarian Illuminati

features an owl on top of an open book.

- [Sharon] Yeah. - [Jack] There's a little, tiny owl.

And no one knows what the [bleep]

And why the [bleep] it's there.

I have it on the screen zoomed in.

Also, the shape of the Capitol Hill in DC

is actually in the shape of an owl.

- [Ozzy] Where? - [Sharon] Oh, yeah. I can see that.

- [Jack] Can you see the owl? - Yeah, the eyes.

- Where is it? - [Jack] The eyes?

[Jack] Look at this. Look at it. Think of an owl.

- [Sharon] Look at the eyes and then the round body. - Where's the eyes? Show me.

Look, up at the top, to the right and the left.

- [Jack] Look, right there. - [Ozzy] How?

[Jack] Look.

All right.

So, this same Illuminati owl symbol also appears

at the Bohemian Grove in Monte Rio, California.

Conspiracy theorists believe that this secret

society is a modern day incarnation of the Illuminati.

Also a place where rich dudes go bone each other

in the woods.

Oh, the owl.

[Jack] Here's the owl again.

- [Sharon] What does it say? - It says, "Weaving spiders

come not here."

And that's the, um, Bohemian seal.

So the thing that makes this even more odd

is there are photos that go back to the early 1900s

depicting a ritual being conducted.

I mean, these are weird photos.

Check it out. This is 1909.

This is the ceremony in robes.

Here's a ritualistic hanging of a mannequin.

This is also another photo from 1909.

It's a ritual with someone bound to a table.

Um, there's also another photo

of a man wearing robes.

On the ground, kneeling over another man on the ground.

Like, it just feels weird to me that they

have these events--

No, but I just think it would be odd, like...

It would be the equivalent, right?

Of once a-- once a year, every summer,

you and every rockstar from the 70s, '80s, and '90s

all went away for two weeks

and hang out in the forest together.

Like you're in the same business,

but what the [bleep] are you gonna do there?

But when you're worth billions of dollars,

you're supposed...

You've been around your own kind...

- I guess-- - It would be more safer than go--

'Cause people will go, "You know, that guy is a multibillionaire.

We'll [bleep] hijack him, hold him to ransom.

Get a cool bill."

That is a very good point.

So, the Denver airport.

Do you know about this with the Illuminati?

- Uh, Denver? - [Jack] Denver airport.

Conspiracy theorists point out that multiple symbols

used by the Illuminati are all over the Denver airport

and many believe there is a secret bunker underneath.

In addition to the symbols,

one of the main reasons for the staying power

of this conspiracy theory is the money.

And it's believed that Illuminati money

was used in exchange for the use

of the property underground.

It was massively overbudget for what it was.

And we're talking, like, was it hundreds

of millions of dollars overbudget.

And when every-- When they did an audit,

the amount of concrete that they used

to build the airport

was, like, ridiculous amounts of concrete

to where people were like, "Well, that's impossible.

Where's all this concrete?"

And everyone was just kinda like... "I don't know."

And they just kind of ignored it.

Um, the imagery, there's mosaics

and there's imagery all over the airport

which are really kind of [bleep] weird.

A lot of people think that it's hidden imagery,

um, about the coming apocalypse,

the new world order, um, and a lot of people think

that that is a link to the Illuminati.

All right, if you really wanna get weirded out,

take a look at this mural that was painted

in the Denver airport.

Look at that.

What am I looking at?

- [Jack] This is-- - What the [bleep] is that?

[Jack] That's in the Denver airport.

[Ozzy] What is it supposed to be?

It looks like a Nazi or some kind of communist soldier.

He's got an AK-47, like a skeleton gas mask,

he's stabbing a dove of peace

and it looks like he's moving people.

[Ozzy] The thing about these Illuminati things...

[Sharon] Why would anybody put that there?

- [Ozzy] ...is you know-- - [Jack] I don't know

- and that's exactly... - Ugly [bleep].

Exactly. Why the [bleep] is that in the Denver airport?

[Sharon] With a machinegun and a [bleep] sabre.

[Jack] Stabbing the dove of peace.

Look, it's got the LGBTQ rainbow.

So, it's like this whole-- There's a lot of symbolism

in this and everyone's like, "What the [bleep]

is going on? Why is this here?"

And they don't give an answer.

It's the weirdest thing.

It's weird, but...

[Sharon] That's an ugly ass picture to put in an airport.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, but...

But I think, people, is just a weird picture, you know...

[Jack] I mean, what doesn't help this theory

is the airport's dedication marker credits

an organization called

The New World Airport Commission

for building it.

Who could they possibly be referring to?

And there's a whole thing going

about the new world order which is what the Illuminati's

trying to usher in.

Now, check out this time capsule.

This is-- This is the marker, and it says,

uh, The New World Airport Commission.

Look at the Masonic symbol.

That's the symbol for the Masons.

And so there's a really weird connection

- [Sharon] Mm-hmm. - To the Masons and, allegedly, the Illuminati.

And a lot of people believe

that it is there because they're the people who paid for it.

But I wanted to say, you'd think by now

some truth would've released out...

- [sighs] - It's been around since 17...

But, here's the thing, if they own the news media

and if they own the magazines, and they own the internet...

[Jack] Listen, it's one of those things were,

yes, stuff can exist on the internet,

but maybe there is that deal with the media,

so newspapers don't run it.

[Ozzy] What are we looking for? What are we...

[Jack] The point is that I'm showing a connection

between this alleged Illuminati,

the secret societies and how there actually is

suspected evidence of them everywhere.

You know, the owl on the dollar bill happens

to be the symbol of the Bohemian Grove.

I think it's odd that a secret society's symbol

is hidden in a dollar bill.

[Ozzy] It's not that secret if you searched it up.

'Cause I know what's going on.

I dig deep.

We're gonna do a new scale for this one.

Believability.

So, on the believability scale, do you believe

that there is an Illuminati,

a secret cabal of people running America?

I don't know.

I don't give a [bleep].

I think it's an absolute 12 that there is.

[Jack] Okay. I agree.

Actually, I believe 10/10 that there is

- someone running the show aside from the president. - [Sharon] Yes.

[Sharon] Absolutely.

So, the Bohemian Grove.

Just gonna give you the name of people

who've been seen there or known to have gone.

Richard Nixon, George W. Bush.

George H. Bush...

[bleep]

Uh, Ronald Reagan,

Clint Eastwood.

[bleep]

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld,

Walter Cronkite,

[bleep]

Bing Crosby, Steve Miller,

[bleep]

And the Koch brothers.

These are people who have been seen there,

and the odd thing is when [bleep]

from [bleep].

Which is [bleep] weirdest thing to me.

I'm like, why's the dude from [bleep] up there?

I mean, it's awesome...

I can't see what this is all leading to.

It's all leading to that there's [bleep] going on, man,

that you just don't know about.

You sound like you should be outside the [bleep]

Federal Building with a flag.

Leshy or Yeti?

A Leshy or a Yeti.

[Ozzy] Probably a fox or something.

I don't foxing know.

What do we [bleep] say?

[laughing maniacally]

What are we doing?

Elaine has a question for you.

I can't hear that.

- What's on your socks? - What's on your socks?

[Jack] Are these dolphins?

[Ozzy] Dolphins, I think.

Fish.

These looks like socks you'd wear at Mar-a-Iago.

[imitates Trump] Oh, I only wear these at Mar-a-Iago.

These are my Mar-a-Iago socks.

[laughing]

I love the Miami Dolphins.

It's the best team ever in any sport.

[laughing]

I remember the Miami Dolphins.

[laughing maniacally]

Um, all right.

- So, Mum. - Yes.

[Jack] Bigfoot.

Well, you know I'm a Bigfoot groupie.

Oh.

[Sharon] Oh, my Lord.

Oh, my Lord.

Oh, you are just beautiful.

You know what they say about big feet.

I think Bigfoot it's a load of old bollocks.

I don't.

Are you denying the existence-

It was the Abominable-- Abominable Snowman.

[Jack] Well, yeah, Abominable Snowman, Yeti.

- Bigfoot, Sasquatch. - The Grassman.

Grassman. Swamp man.

It's all Bigfoot.

All right, so this one comes to us from Russia.

Uh, March, 2019.

Whoo.

[imitates Trump] Only the best.

Look at that thing. Look at this [bleep] running in the forest.

Look at that.

See how big the arms were?

[Sharon] Mm-hmm.

[Jack] That does not look...

That looks like a gorilla.

Man in a suit.

[Jack] That's not a-- Look at the arm span when it jumps.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Boom. Look at that.

[imitates Trump] It's a man in a gorilla suit.

[Sharon laughing]

Look. Look at that. That's not a...

I think-- I think that's a Bigfoot

and I think that's incredibly good footage.

It's a Russian in a gorilla suit.

- It's... - [Ozzy] From China.

It's Putin--

I's Putin in a suit...

[laughing]

Riding his horse with no shirt.

[Sharon] He's naked under that.

I don't buy this Bigfoot [bleep] at all.

Niki Naki nude under that suit.

- Okay, is that-- - It must be able to get around the planet--

Because they're everywhere.

- [bleep] off. - [Jack] They're everywhere.

Yet nowhere.

I'll give that a three.

But what the [bleep] runs through a forest like that?

[Sharon] Jack, do you see him jumping?

[Ozzy] I don't think it is Bigfoot.

Maybe some Russian in a [bleep].

[Jack] Look. Look at that.

- Look at that arm span. - [Ozzy] It's in a gorilla suit.

I would believe it was actually a gorilla

before I believed there was a man in a gorilla suit.

Yeah.

- Look at those arms. - All right.

- [Sharon] Ditto. - It's not Bigfoot.

It's a gorilla.

Why is there a gorilla running around the Russian forest?

Because there ain't such a thing as [bleep] Bigfoot.

[laughing]

Why are you so cynical?

I'm choosing... My truth is that it's Bigfoot.

[laughing]

That's my truth.

[imitates Trump] Well, you would say it's Bigfoot.

That's my truth, okay?

And it's my truth that it is a fabulous Bigfoot.

Bigfoot actually has been, uh, reported

in Russia since the 1700s.

What's his name?

Um. Boris.

- [Sharon] Good one. - [Jack] Boris Bigfoot.

And they, actually, the Yeti comes from Russia.

You said it was Bigfoot.

Bigfoot and Yeti, the same thing.

It's like saying dog and canine.

Bigfoot's supposed to be Bigfoot

and Yeti's supposed to be Yeti.

[laughing maniacally]

Well, what do we give that on the Woogie-Boogie scale?

- Three. - Ten.

Three? Ten?

I give it a ten 'cause that is not a [bleep] human.

- No. - Okay.

It's not a bear.

[Sharon] Nope.

They don't jump like that.

Well, there's a Russian-- There's another word

for a Russian Bigfoot and it's called a Menk.

M-E-N-K.

Not to be confused with a Manc,

someone from Manchester.

Let me see your little Minky.

[imitates Trump] Only in Russia do they have the Yeti

and the Menk.

[laughing]

[imitates Trump] I used to have a Mink coat.

[laughing]

[Jack in Trump's voice] I had a coat made of Mink.

I killed it with my bare hands.

Put the [bleep] video on, Jack,

'cause I wanna have a laugh.

- This-- - Leshy or Yeti.

A Leshy or Yeti scared a hunter in a forest in Azerbaijan.

Oh.

Where's that?

Azerbaijan is in former Soviet Union.

It's kind of in between central Asia and it's--

- It's Russia. Basically, but not. - [bleep]

It's kind of Middle Eastern Russia.

- Like Georgia. - [Jack] It's like Middle Eastern Russia.

- Okay. - [Jack] If that makes sense.

[Jack] So, the Leshy is a cryptid

from the Slavic mythology

and they are said to live in the forest.

They can also change their size,

from as small as a blade of grass

to as tall as a tree.

That's convenient.

This guy looks to have caught a Leshy on camera.

You'll see it in a second.

Keep your eye in between where the trunk splits.

Right there. You see it?

[Sharon] Yes, I did.

[Ozzy] It's probably a fox or something.

[Jack] What the...?

There's, like, no, It's just like a weird...

It's a... [bleep].

- [Jack] It's got balls hanging off his head. - [Ozzy] Fuck. Yeah, yeah.

It looks like him, yeah.

I don't foxing know.

For [bleep] sake.

I don't know.

[Jack] I thought it could've been an owl.

- Yeah. - [Jack] But owls don't...

- I've never seen a black... - It's a creature of the night, man.

Faced owl. Like, they usually have white, you know.

- It could be a cat, dog, fox, wolf, bear. - No. The shape wasn't a cat.

I'm choosing to believe it is a Leshy.

You know what it is?

It's a Bigfoot that identifies as a Leshy.

- Okay. - What do you give it?

Seven.

- [Jack] Seven? - Mm-hmm.

- Three. - I'll take the seven.

- [bleep] your three. - [Sharon] Yes.

[imitates Trump] It's a Vladimir Bigfoot.

It's Boris Bigfootovic.

Good. That's convincing.

Boris Bigfootovic.

Don't believe in Boris. He's a load of old bollocks.

But he likes caviar.

I know, but he's--

A quick shot of the old vodka to follow.

Vodka.

[Jack] Watch this.

[man] We believe we have caught a ghost on camera.

I don't know why.

Look at the mirror behind the lady.

What the [bleep] is that?

[laughing maniacally]

No [bleep] way.

A used coffin or a new coffin?

[producer] Either way.

Would you sleep inside a coffin for a night?

Nope.

- [Jack] Every night. - [Sharon] Nope.

Ugly, couldn't do it.

No way.

- [laughing maniacally] - [Ozzy speaking]

[laughing maniacally]

All right. I know how much you both love mirrors

and old spooky things from Japan.

- [Sharon] Yes. - Um, so I think

you guys are gonna really like this.

This was a couple,

they were touring an apartment in Japan

in 2007 and they decided to film inside their new place.

[Sharon] Right. As one does.

As one does.

And they captured this.

You wanna look in the mirror behind the lady.

So, checking her out. You see it?

- [Jack] Watch. - [Ozzy] Where?

[Jack] Watch again. We'll pause it.

Look, he's filming. He's filming.

[Ozzy] Yeah.

[Jack] What the [bleep] is that?

- There's an arm, a shoulder-- - [Ozzy] A coat's hanging.

[Jack] No, you see fingers.

[Ozzy] No. [bleep] off.

[Jack] You've changed. You've changed.

I don't know what has happened, but you've changed.

You think it's a coat on a coat hanger?

Mom, what do you think?

I think it's a piece of clothing hanging out.

[bleep]

[Ozzy] Of course it is.

[Jack] I don't know.

Like, 'cause I can see, like... Look,

it looks like fingers, an arm, a shoulder.

[Ozzy] What do you give it?

On the Woogie-Boogie scale, I'd probably give it a five.

What do you give that one?

Three.

All right, two, three, five.

[Jack] I cannot work under these conditions.

Yes, you can.

A mysterious light appears moving across

the sky in [imitates Trump] China.

[imitates Trump] China.

[Jack] Look at that.

That is not a meteorite.

[laughing maniacally]

Leatherface.

[laughing maniacally]

[Ozzy] Leatherface.

[Sharon] Such an [bleep].

What's that?

Uh, is there a horror movie you refuse to watch?

Um, Human Centipede.

[laughing maniacally]

All right.

Mysterious light appears moving across the sky

in [imitates Trump] China

[imitates Trump] China.

[Sharon] You are joking.

- [imitates Trump] It's in China. - [Sharon] Oh, not again.

[imitates Trump] It's-- It's China.

- This was October 30th, 2020, China. - Mm-hmm.

This one's pretty cool, it was a mysterious light

moving across the sky.

Now, before you write it off as explainable,

keep in mind this got 1.7 million views on Weibo,

which is, uh--

Come on, play the [bleep] video.

- Chinese... - It's Chinese Twitter.

So, Communist Twitter.

- Weibo? - Weibo.

- Okay. - [Jack] Damn commies.

Look at that.

That is not a meteorite

because look how slow it's moving. We've all seen shooting stars.

They go much faster than that.

[Ozzy] [bleep] meteor.

That is not a meteor. What meteorite goes... [bleep]

[Ozzy] It could be a rocket, I don't know.

[Jack] It's very low in the sky.

[Ozzy] It's a UFO,

'cause I don't know what it is, but it's in the sky.

Military.

- Do you think it's military? - [Sharon] Yeah.

- Maybe like a missile or a rocket or something? - With that light? Yeah,

- it's military. - [Ozzy] All right.

So, what do we give that?

I'll give that a five.

You give that a five?

Uh, yeah, no.

I, uh, I don't know what that is,

I don't know what to give it on the Woogie-Boogie scale

because I don't know what it is.

It doesn't look like the UFO I've seen.

Well, if you don't know what it is and it's in the sky,

it's what you call UFO.

[Jack] All right, it's a UFO.

[laughing maniacally]

Um, all right. How are we feeling about this episode?

We've had some highs, we've had some lows.

I think the [bleep] conspiracy thing was a bit much.

- I believe it. - [Jack] You do?

- Yeah. I do. - [Jack] Yeah, I do too.

- I absolutely do. - I absolutely believe it.

Well, that's it.

Where are we at with being a believer?

All right, that's it.

Tune in next time for some more conspiracies, folks.

[Sharon] Oh, here we go.

- [Jack] Loch Ness, Scotland. - [bagpipes playing]

[Sharon] Scotland.

[Ozzy] I don't believe it's real.

[Jack] You'll go in the cage. The cage is in the water.

Nessy's in the water. Our Nessy.

[Sharon] Oh, where's the haggis?

[Ozzy] I do not believe

that was the Loch Ness Monster.

[Sharon] That's Nessy.

[Jack in Scottish accent] We're Nessy's waters now, lads.

Full steam ahead.

Pop, we got her in our sights.

Ooh, Mum, watch out.

You can take my Nessy, but you can't take my freedom.