Original subtitles

- Hi again, Osborn.

What's going on? Amy? You on second season? I'm good.

Season two. I almost like missed you guys.

That, that creepy. Almost. Almost. No, truly, truly.

But mutual. I definitely, oh, okay. Thank you for lying. I,

- I swear because it's been nice to have a

mediator, you know? All

- Right.

I, I think I've been preferring this then

to the podcast, to be honest with you.

Oh, I, I've been having more fun with this.

Not that the podcast isn't fun. I'll stop.

I by, I just think it's kind of interesting. Yeah.

Drop in for sure.

- It's been so fun. And now that some

of the episodes are out, how are you feeling about

it? I have

- No, it looks great, by the way, DIA, about season two.

Do you, like, do you have any memory of it at all? Because I

- Don't, I have a little bit, a little bit.

The beginning of it, I, I know how it starts.

I just don't remember how it ends.

- Mm. I I - Can't remember any of it.

I can't remember any of it. Nothing.

- I just, all I remember is that is around the time

that mom got sick and then,

- And then you were doing your album.

So you weren't really in LA very much.

- I was - Really?

- Yeah. Because I came back some of this You're in New York?

Yeah. Mm. Which we'll get into.

But yeah, there's definitely ups and downs this season.

But you can almost kind of see a change.

Like you definitely see in the first episode

that it's gotten a lot of attention.

- Mm. - And you're adjusting to that. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Well, let's kick it off

with Ozzy once again.

And a remote. Ah,

- Round two with the remote.

See, this is what I want about simplicity.

I've heard this too for about seven years.

This is how it works. You power on it comes on

because that TV is massive.

- It didn't come on. - Volume control.

Piece of piss works every time,

- But it's not working. Oh, there we go.

- The fuck's this shit. This is not allowed.

What's happened to it? This is not allowed

- Jack Easy every time.

Every time it stopped working. It was always

- Jack.

Yeah. Yeah. Technology issue. Jack and then Sharon.

He rarely screams Kelly, I've noticed you are like,

I can't help, I can't help with this tv.

- Don't get me involved.

- Although I do think you've got a little bit more tech

savvy over the years.

- What you mean? - Like you are better with like, like,

you know how to like, get your iPad going.

Like, you know how to work your Alexa, you know

- That much better.

Better. Not that his

- Phone and everything.

- You's good with You're pretty good on your phone.

- Addicted to YouTube. Yeah.

- Yeah. I mean, texting has become his like,

number one form of communication.

- I love that. - Yeah. Which

- Is because he hates talking on the phone.

- Yeah. Like you text more than you call.

- Oh, I don't call at all. - Yeah. No. You on the phone.

You're Mike. Hi, how are you? You're like, good bye.

But a text, I'll get like a para, you know,

a big long paragraph.

- Love that. Ozzie. I love Dad's text. They're great.

Yeah. Because there, there's certain ways

that dad spells things as well that make me giggle. Like,

- Hi, - Hi.

HIGH instead of HI love that.

And it, it always makes me giggle when I get it.

- Ozzy tell me about that workout room.

- Every morning I'd get up and do an hour on the cross

trainer on a bike.

- That was your routine.

- That was a great, that was a great gym every

- Single morning.

- Nice. - That was a really good gym. Do you remember?

Do you remember? Okay, so later on we did a,

a Pepsi commercial and we filmed it at the house

and it was for the Super Bowl.

And Donny and Maria Osmond were in it,

and they made that their dressing room.

And it was when we were filming the show.

So there was cameras everywhere.

And I just remember like going in

and like into the control room and like watching Donny

and Maria Osmond, like just kind of in the

- Gym in the color.

Somebody said, please don't trust anyone.

He was alright. Right. Donny. I like him.

Donny Osmond's an alright guy.

- He really is. I got to work

with him on Dancing With the Stars

and he is just a, that really lovely. Nice.

- You're Outie and Donny,

- Was it like an Osborn's versus the

Osmonds commercial? Yeah.

- Yeah. It was like Dad was having a nightmare

that we had turned into the Osmonds instead of the Osborn's.

And then he wakes up

and he's in bed with Florence Henderson. Was it? Yes.

- Oh, interesting. - Yeah, it was like a nightmare.

- He first come down. - Yeah. It was a whole thing.

- Love the Super Bowl. - Yeah.

And we were supposed to have other Super Bowl commercials,

but What was his name?

Simmons. Simmons.

- Richard Simmons. - Richard Sim. No, no, not

- Richard Simmons.

Russell Simmons. Russell Simmons. Oh, Russell Simmons.

- He very - Different people

- By the way.

He like kicked up a stink about that. We were doing it.

'cause we, we weren't,

it wasn't diverse enough for Interesting.

Yeah. So, yeah. So Pepsi, it it, they, he just,

- Because it was your family.

- Yeah. It was just like, it was, it was only

white people in the commercial. He

- Was like, he had an artist.

One of his artists was doing it,

and they didn't renew his contract and they gave it to us.

And basically he used our color against us to get

the contract back

by saying we weren't diverse enough as a family.

And it's not fair. So he was

- Trying, you're a - White family.

- We'd still have, we ride back. But Russell Simmons

- Is kind of a piece of shit, right?

- Yeah. Well, exactly. - Oh yeah.

Listen, one of my, one of my friends in New York,

- He and one of mine too.

- Yeah, he - A little creepy.

- But there, - But there are multiple allegations

- Of gas.

Oh. Multiple, multiple, multiple cases. Interesting.

And the thing is, at the end of the day, it all comes around

and it came around on him.

- It's funny, everybody that complained about the show

and got like some major publicity

from it we're all pieces of shit.

All ended up being pieces of shit.

Like when you think about it, bill Cosby. Oh,

- Bill Maher.

- Bill. - No, not Bill. No.

I was like, sorry, bill O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly.

- Bill. I forgot about that piece of

- Shit. Yeah.

- And - Russell Simmons.

- Russell Simmons, - There was a lot.

- Who was Bill O'Reilly's complaint about the Osborn's

- Parenting - Parenting.

He goes, I would never bring my

children up. This, this you're homo phone.

- So - I

- Wouldn't bring my kids there.

- Then mom goes, Tim, well, well how old are your kids?

And he's like, four or five or whatever. Mom.

Just like loft at him.

- I love that. The share and laugh.

Well, speaking of the music industry, this,

this season is very like you getting into your music

and performance career and your singles out.

So that's gonna be so much of these two episodes.

- Oh, do we get to hit single?

- Oh, he is gonna play mine with them. If you want.

I, I played yours this weekend. It's

- Just the gift.

It fun. The cute song giving

- What Moms? I was

- Mine.

- Well, no, but I, the ki the the kids the other day didn't

believe that you had released

and, and they were like, it's good.

And I put it on and they were like dumbfounded.

They like, could not believe that that was you.

They're like, there's no way.

There's no, and I'm like, no, I'm telling you. That's Nana.

That's enough. That is no. Fuck.

- That's enough dad. That's enough. It's a hit.

- Dad, listen. I know you're used to being the only

- Star in the family - Singer with a profound catalog.

- What's going on too long?

That fucking girl. Different joke.

- All - Right, well mom needs to release a new album then.

- That's a good idea. Yeah. Okay, well let's bring it backs.

Watch Ozzy throw some knives. Oh.

Oh

- Boy.

Oh, Lola pip. I'm talking.

- I've got here. Come on. Gray Garden. Come on.

- Solid garden. - Gorgeous. Oh, great.

Got the Zoomies Ppp. Who's

- Home?

She goes, my

- Gosh.

She goes, go back a projectile. Did you see Lola?

Look, look at Lola

- Because she was always eating crazy stuff

and drinking pool water, right?

Yeah. Oh,

- Crushing - It.

- She gotta find the rhythm. That's mo Fuck me.

I'm out of here. Gloria

didn't, can you go and tell Sam turn the sprinklers on

because there are a whole bunch of people on the lawn.

Thanks. Bye. That sweet flip phone.

- I know, Jake, you really,

you really mastered the flip clothes.

- Okay. So those sprinklers, we, we had like a,

an automated sprinkler thing

because so many people would like hang out.

Yeah. And just come to the game. I

- Love my hair braid at the back.

- Yeah, I did. - It was a good look.

- Yeah. - We don't have done again.

- Nah, not now. - Oh,

- It always early two thousands.

We could get you a piece that you could clip in at the

back purple. What

- Was the water?

Your idea, Jack?

- No, it was the secure we had.

So we ended up, because the show got so big,

they had to pay for security for us.

- Yeah. And because people would just hang

out on your driveway. It

- Was was crazy.

They'd come and just sit on the driveway

or buy the kin ring the bell and one.

- Yeah. - And so we had like

20 by walking gate. It was nuts.

- 24 hour, like old, like off duty

- Spray water.

Then people would run, then people would want drink out.

We just spray us.

- Yeah. It became - A thing.

Oh yeah, we'd see that later. Yeah.

- But then we had to stop doing it

because people, when we would spray them,

they would run into the street

and people nearly got hit a couple times.

Oh my God. So it was like this whole,

- But they wanted to get sprayed after a

- While. And they did. Yeah. 'cause it became a

- Thing.

Oh, just let the dogs out to bite though.

Know that To projectile on them.

- Yeah. We should have just held

Lola over the fence. She could have

- Just opened that mouth.

- Just vomited. - Ozzy,

did you install this knife throwing area yourself

just to blow off steam?

- Yeah. Yeah. Because deep for walk.

- You are not getting any of it.

- Got good distance. Right. You know you

- Yeah.

- Do you know, do you know that like ax throwing

is like a thing now?

- What? - Ax throwing. They have these very

- Popular for dates.

- A girl bounced back into ter in a fucking head.

- I've Yeah, I've seen that. - Yeah. I

- Nearly - Bounced.

Feel like that would be the worst idea ever

to take me on a date.

To go ax throwing. Well, you're

- Allowed to drink too.

You can drink alcohol and throw

- Axes. No. Yeah.

- Yes. It's like a

- Whole thing.

It makes mom, it's very confusing. Ax throwing bars.

It's the kind of throwing bars.

But you would imagine seeing Jason Momoa in throwing

axes. Do you know what I mean?

- There's a, there's a X actually riding up. Why

- Jason Momoa?

Because, because he looks like he could throw an ax.

- Yeah. I'm sure he can. He's a strong man.

- Well, so can - Dad. Yeah.

It's not going that well, but it seems fun.

What's in that big container?

A generator. That's the generator for the house.

- Oh. Just in case there was like a,

the power went down. We had

- Backup generator.

- Did it ever have Oh, you had to use it

- From No, it was just backup.

Like if the power went down,

the house could still still power

- Rolling blackouts or whatever. Yeah,

- Exactly.

You know, ing it in England. So

- Yeah.

I thought it was a storage container.

So what part of the backyard is this?

This is behind the guest house. The

- On - The guest house.

- Oh. - This is where Michael appeared paid from.

Got caught crawling around at night. Yeah.

After all of that random stuff happened.

- So were the people outside the gate mostly just

regular fans?

Yeah. And not paparazzi or a combo?

- Combo - Combination. Yeah.

The, the paps would usually wait for us

to leave and then follow us.

- Yeah. Oh right. I imagine they, they,

they would show up like literally an hour before we'd go out

and then they would just follow us everywhere we went.

- Yeah. That's awful.

- It was, it was definitely worse for mom

and Kelly and dad than me. I was just, yeah,

- It was pretty bad.

Were spraying them.

- I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. No, they, they were,

but it was at a time when the Paps were super aggressive.

- Yeah. - They were. Now they're kind of not anymore.

They just stay, keep their distance.

But back in the day they used to like,

- 'cause of lawsuits.

I don't know. I just think it's not, the price

of a picture isn't the same.

- Yeah. Instagram kind of killed that

- Because people put up - Their own

- Shit. Exactly.

- Yeah. You're like, here I am at home. Now you can look.

Yeah. Let's move on to Sharon.

- You see this here. See this?

This is a gold filling that was in my mouth. Oh.

I swallowed it and it took 10 days to pass through my body.

- 10 days to shit it out.

And you tried to hand and you had

tried to hand it to Melinda.

- Yeah. Do you see the way Melinda

politely was like, fuck no.

She's so trusting. I'm not touching that. She's, oh, wow.

It was mom's filling that came her gold filling

- That came - Out.

She swallowed. She swallowed it. I know.

And then she was just letting everybody know

that it took Yeah.

Yeah. She did. You finished it

- Outta your shit.

No, I didn't. Sharon, I went to the toilet.

I peed and I heard a ding in the, it came outta your pee.

- I think that's a fucking - Lie.

- I - Think that's a lie.

- I swear Sharon. I wouldn't go through my

- Crack to find a feeling.

She thinks she acts like she shits gold.

- She does. How did it come out if you didn't fish it?

I didn't. It just fell

- Out.

Thought the fuck of your asshole. Mom.

You had to hot shoe shuffle and hot shoe shuffle.

What? Hot shoe shuffle.

- Anyway, she got it back. Get,

- Thank you. Why did tell

- Sticking with her, her routine theory, talking about shit.

- You love it. Excuse me? You brought it up.

I didn't, I didn't bring it up. You did. I didn't.

I just said it was, you said 10 days.

You were the one that brought it up.

She said 10 days. No, you said

- 10 days.

You, because you just said it fucking really the

day. No, I did. I said it.

- I did. And I was like, 10 days. And you were like, yeah.

And then you explained that

- It, yeah.

- Here - We go. It just magically appeared in the toilet.

- Let's - See this. See this? Oh, look at Maggie.

This, oh, see this.

This is a gold filling that was in my mouth. Oh.

I swallowed it and it took 10 days to pass through my body.

Wow. That's been a long way.

- Come - On.

- Like, oh God. What else?

What else is in all those boxes you're going through?

Do you know? Jewelry. Nice.

You guys really love to sit on the

bathroom floor, I've noticed.

- Yes. Yeah. - It's just cozy in there.

- Yeah. But like, it's the first

thing I do when I come here.

My mom is always in the getting ready process.

So I sit on the bathroom floor while she's doing her bits.

I still, it's still the same. I love that.

- Is this time the most amount of dogs

that you have at one time?

No. Yes, it was. No. Yes. We had 16 at one time.

- Yeah. But I don't know if it's right now.

- No, it's not right now.

- No. I think that was Mo when you moved to Hi Hidden Hills,

when you guys had the, the, the murderous

Pearl Boxer named Pearl.

Yeah. Then my daughter is also named Pearl

- Jeffrey Dharma's friend.

- Yeah. - But 16 is the top.

- That was when we had Little Bit as well.

- Yeah, - She was great.

- Oh, see, do you remember? Little bit? Yeah. Little

- Bit was gorgeous.

- Little bastard too. - Little bitch. We called

- Her.

- Yeah. She only liked that. - Oh,

- She - Attacked us.

Martin. Martin

- Little Martini.

- Well, this is a very big episode for Sharon and Ozzy

because you're going to the White House.

- Oh, that's right. The Obos.

- Wow. We're flying to Washington tonight.

To, so we've been invited to these press

press dinner with the president

of the United States at the White House.

- Guess what? Did you hear that going? It's pretty cool.

The president's house.

- I, I dunno how to handle it. I come from on my street guy.

I come from the backseat of Birmingham.

- You need to take that one - Where my, my my van leave.

- Where's the van leave? - Always the van.

- Don't take that one.

- Why? Because it's an evening when you wear it with you.

- Look at your, look at your cufflings.

- It's all like new to me.

I don't know how the etiquette is.

I'm a slub, you know,

scratch my ass when I wanna scratch my eyes.

You, I'll be getting noted digging the rib

by my doing the rib by my wife all night.

That's exactly what happened.

- Yeah. Literally Mom was digging you in the ribs all night.

I was pulling on his jacket.

Were you farting at the White House? Ozzy? No.

- No. He just stood on a chair and wouldn't get down.

And I kept pulling on his jacket.

- The, but it was funny though

'cause when they got invited

to the correspondence dinner at the White House, it was like

before celebrities went.

- Yeah. And - Now

- It, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, what?

It wasn't that long after nine 11.

And you've never seen any, the fucking security was a,

an absolute joke.

- Yeah. What? Like a lot or a little?

- No, a little. Really? That's wild.

Are people clamming at you?

If you don't even know a go with a bomb,

you could killed the fucking lot there.

- Wow. Were you surprised to be invited?

And how and how did that happen?

- I was shocked. - Yeah.

- Yeah. It, it happened

because mom befriended Greta Van Suran.

- Oh, right. - And, and she

- And Greta had a table and she invited us.

Yeah.

- Yeah. I love that. - Yeah.

- And it was like, like I said,

it was at a time when like celebs didn't go to things.

- Yeah. - It just wasn't a, I think occasionally,

but now it's such a celebrity heavy thing. Yeah.

- Especially that event. Yes.

- There was celeb, there was actors there,

actress were there.

- A few. Yeah. A few. Yeah. What were you nervous?

- I don't know. I was, course Colin didn't,

- We didn't really know

what was gonna go on there. I had no idea.

- It was like fucking pandemonium.

I remember it was just fucking crazy. Had loads of people.

- Yeah. It's pretty crazy

- Because that them people never see the likes

of us in, in Flat.

You feel like a fucking something zoo.

- Feel like an alien. - Fucking major generals came up

and fucking, it was just nuts.

- It is pretty crazy to just have a big drunken

party at the White House.

Like, right. 'cause I think it's spring 2002 at Yeah. Yeah.

It's nuts.

- 2022 years ago. Because it just happened.

The, the the, the

- Nine 11 hour just happened.

- Yeah. But I'm just saying this year's correspondence

dinner happened like two weeks ago,

so it was like 22 years ago almost to the, to the day. Wow.

- Right. Well, it's too bad that you couldn't go Jack,

because you seem to be pretty suited up

for terrorism at any time.

- President Nixon, what's his name?

- Bush. Bush. Bush. - Oh, we have some distinguished guess.

Actors, actors, politicians

and Ozzy Osburn

- Burn.

Ozzy Osburn. Yeah. Did he give you a

- Nickname?

Actually, my mother is a big fat.

I recently talk to Pocket

- Politic - With the animals.

- Yeah, - Yeah,

- Yeah.

Let's see. Jack,

- See?

- Oh, I'm ready. Yeah. Always ready

when in doubt case nine 11 comes to Beverly Hills.

- Hey, you know, I had to be ready.

So Kelly covered Madonna's Papa don't preach

and I believe she's gonna be performing it live.

What do you get from Jack Movie Awards next week?

That's right. So weird.

- I think I just got it from like a

- Are you wearing it while playing your

video game? Yeah. Yes.

- I'm mentally unwell.

- And girls had crushes on you watching this. It's amazing.

- Fucking Beyond Amazing. It's like a are really

- Short, huh?

Huh? The clips are really short.

- They're, they're all over the place.

Some will be short, some are longer. We're just

- Keeping it punchy.

- This - Just, yeah, I

- Just, Jack, you're so funny.

- Always - Cosplaying. Where did this

- Like prepper obsession Start History Channel?

- It was, I think it was a combination

of like growing up watching History Channel with him

and then nine 11.

- Where do you get a gas mask like that when it's not like

- Before you could buy it online.

I think I went to like an army surplus store and bought it.

- Yeah. Yeah. There are strangely, a lot of those in LA

- Yeah.

- Every time there's one right here.

- Yeah. They're on V - There's one

- And one on Santa Monica.

But every time I pass one I'm like, who is,

who is buying a gas mask now?

- I know. Well, you never know when you

might need one. Right?

- You need them just for the - Dogs alone.

- Well, this is true - With the pandemic.

- Well, exactly The amount of phone calls I got when the

pandemic started being like,

do you have any face masks or anything like that? I'm

- Like, I feel like smelled really weird under that mask.

- Yeah. It was just a - Like an

- Old, yeah, like an - Old a dead disgusting.

What video game were you playing?

- Oh God. I think that, I don't even

know what that game was.

I have no idea.

- I keep saying, but can you remember when 10,000 people

that died were dying from the book?

- From from Covid. - Fucking nuts.

- Yeah. - Sharon, what did you think at this time?

Just, oh, my son's a little quirky.

- No, I just thought he was just being a

kid. No, I think you, I think you

- Described me as an oddball a little

a few times on the show.

- Yeah. Did I? - Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

- Oh, in the first season. Yeah.

You say basically he's weird but perfect.

Which is a good mom thing to say. Yeah. Yeah.

- It's okay. I, I accept that it's the truth.

I'm not, I'm not trying to be something I'm not.

- So whatever Jack is prepping for, I don't know.

But at this time, Kelly, you're also

- Just, but you've also gotta give mom a bit of credit.

Credit in the sense that she'd let us be

what we wanted to be.

Yeah. Like, like sure.

- Yeah. Do your own thing.

- Yeah. Do you think there were things you wanted to be

that she wouldn't have supported Jack?

- No, I don't think so. I always, I think that, yeah,

- I always thought that he wanted

to join the Army. Yeah. Well,

- I I thought he was gonna Or the police force.

- Yeah. - Yeah. No, I probably would've,

if we hadn't done the show, I probably would've

- Been a police officer.

- I've gone into the, I I did become a reserve police

officer for a while, but I probably would've joined the

military if we hadn't done the show.

- Did you ever find a use for your gas mask?

- Actually, yes, I did. I absolutely did. Yeah.

There was years later I moved out

and I was using, I was like trying clean my oven

and you know how those chemicals are like really gnarly.

I put it on when I was cleaning my oven because I

- Love it.

- Yeah. Well, I, - I know there several times when there

was a few poopy dpe that were intense.

- I think I jokingly put it on Yeah.

With, with with Pearl when she was little.

- Which stinky. - Well,

you're being very supportive at this time too,

of Kelly's burgeoning music career.

Oh. So we're gonna, we're gonna be prepping. Wait,

- He's being nice or not nice?

- Well, he flips, you'll see.

- Aw, - Gu

what do you This is this Kelly's song.

Yeah. Oh yeah.

- Cut. Gus just sat there.

But it sounds like it's audio of the actual

- Board.

Yes. Audio. So it's flipped from her.

Can I just say, the outfit that I'm wearing right now is

what Billie Eilish wear Now.

Now. Oh, were you her inspo? Absolutely not.

But come to terms, it's just weird how

that has come full circle.

- Big part to do with her drum kid getting signed.

So you got it for me. My birthday one. Yeah. It's kind of,

- Wait, can we just rewind that?

- What? - Let's go back.

- What? So I also wanna see

what your jacket says. Do you know what it

- Says? I'm trying

- To remember.

It said

- You wore that a lot.

That jacket. Yeah, I know something.

Stars kiss my fat, fat, my fat ass, my

something of stars kiss my big fat ass. Wow.

- What does the top say? - Wow.

- So cute. - So crass Kelly.

And then dad touched your collarbone and you went nuts.

- Ah. Do you know that the baby loves doing that now?

And it drives me insane. Oh, look at Gus though.

You don't like a faller bone touch? No,

- I'm coyotes.

- I, because one time when I was a kid,

I saw they were playing this game so beautiful

of rounders in England, which is kind

of like baseball, but not

- Gimme - Check. And

- Instead of you - And wouldn't she Gorgeous.

I, this girl slid into a tent peg

and her collarbone broke because it hit the tent

- Peg. Oh. So painful.

- And it, I heard it.

I saw it and it made me feel so like, oh,

that I've never liked my collarbone being touched.

- Wow. Do you ever, anyone ever try and dig down under it?

- I would die. - I've never seen my collarbone,

so I don't, can't relate to any of this.

But that's really interesting.

Were you nervous for the MTV movie awards?

- I have to tell you, I was so fucking scared to do it.

I'd never sang in front of anybody before.

- Not karaoke or anything.

- No, it wasn't. It was just like you

- Did fucking great at MTV.

- Yeah. Yeah. Brilliant. It was

- Really like,

- You came in them steps like fucking somebody

else. I was like, whoa.

- You were so proud. - I was blown away. I just thought,

- Fuck it, let's just do it. Yeah.

- And everybody in the business, in the audience,

I was like, fuck.

Yeah. Yeah.

- But you were overseas. - Yeah. Yeah.

- I see. There - We were. There you weren't. I was there.

- No you weren't. - You're in the video.

- I was there when you came down the fucking

cell. Me and mom were good.

- You, I do remember,

- But you do a video.

I was there intro. Okay.

- Via satellite. Honestly, can't remember.

- No, - You dad wasn't in the audience.

But dad was backstage, wasn't he with you?

- I was sitting in, I don't, when, when me, me

and mom going, oh my gosh, we

- Never went backstage.

You threw us out.

You're backstage in the show. When she comes off stage. You

- Came down the big flight of stairs.

- Yeah. We'll see it. Let's

- See.

I was sitting in there and not breathing.

I was thinking, oh my God.

- Do you still play drums, Jack?

- No. No. That was a short-lived endeavor.

- Yeah, you have. Yeah.

At this time you're kind of in

and out of trying a bunch

of different interests, which is really fun. Like

- Drum is not one That's pianos.

Guitar, fucking drum.

- That was like my experimental years. Of course. Yeah.

You're a teenager. That's what it's supposed to

be. Okay, let's finish

- This.

The terms. It was actually, I had a part, a big part to do

with her getting signed.

So she's kind of denying it.

You know what I mean?

- Pop stars. Yeah. I know.

You're gonna fucking totally accent Jack.

I'm not having chicks in my band. It's not a chick band. No.

Kelly. Yeah. She's an amazing drummer. Undeniably.

But I don't want a chick band.

- It doesn't have to be an old chick band here.

A girl drama that's being sexist. Kelly.

- No, it's not. It's just saying I don't want,

it's not sexist dad.

That's sexist. Jack. You just made it for work.

- It's, I've been off the coast

of same Barts playing with Spider Monkey.

Stripping on acid changed my whole perspective on shit.

What the fuck am I even

a Zoolander Lost my mind tonight. Jack, please.

- Going out. Jack, I love you. It I lost my mind.

Come on on. You're just quoting Zoolander. Yeah.

Zoolander quotes bought him a present.

- What? Some cufflings - The present. Oh.

You're not gonna walk to the president

and give him some cuff links out.

- Well, how else is he gonna get 'em?

- Did you give them to the president? I'm, you can't. No.

Ozzy I can do remember. Why not? You can't.

He's not allowed to accept gifts.

- That is true. No, he - Is not. Yeah,

- You were right.

The president can't accept gifts.

- So you never gave him the cuff links? I can't remember.

Do you remember what kind you bought? Or if they do accept

gifts, doesn't it belong to the White House?

- It does. And it goes to, like you,

they they will put them on display in that library.

Yeah. 'cause every president gets a library afterwards.

- Oh. So are there some Sharon Osborne bought cuff links in

the Bush library?

I don't, no. This is all like a blur. I don't remember it.

- It's crazy. Crazy. How much, I don't remember this.

- Why didn't you want girls in your band, Kelly? I

- Don't remember ever having that sort of like,

mindset, a chick band.

I, I think if it's like vaguely

hinting that I didn't wanna become like the pussy cat dolls.

- Right. - Yeah. And because I wasn't that kind of girl.

- Well, and that was big at that time.

If you had a lot of women in your band,

then it just became like chick music no

matter what it was. Yeah.

- And I think that's what I didn't want to happen.

- Isn't it funny that I'm just noticing like season one

as I'm watching it, as I watched season one,

I remembered a lot about the time what was going on.

Like that wasn't on camera.

But this, I'm just like, I have no fucking recollection

of anything surrounding it. I

- Neither because it's, are you fucked up

- Probably?

- No. I think honestly Jack, yeah, I do think it's like a,

a trauma response of our brain being like,

it's, remember nothing.

- There's a lot of sad shit going on in this season.

- Yeah. This - Season we're gonna ease into it.

- Woo. It - Sucks.

Yeah, you can, some of these times you just have

to block out because it's, you know.

Yeah. It was too scary at the time.

You're just getting through it. Yeah.

And then you put it away, you know?

Is it true that you got Kelly signed?

- Okay. - Have you settled this fight yet?

- So what happened was, I was,

I was interning at Epic Records in the a and r department.

I was a scout. And they had,

they had done a deal with Mom to do the soundtrack

for the TV show.

'cause back when people bought CDs,

they would make soundtracks for everything.

And they tried to get my oldest sister to do a song.

And they were asking me like, Hey, can we get to do a song?

I'm like, it's never gonna happen. There's no way.

She's just kind of off the reservation when it comes to,

you know, wanting to do things

publicly with the family at this point.

And I said, but Kelly can sing.

And they went, well, has she ever sung? I was like, no.

But I hear her singing in the shower and she can sing.

And so they then called mom

and were like, Hey, is is it true Kelly can sing?

And then it just kind of went from there.

- Did you give him credit for that at the time?

- Probably not. - What was the process?

I probably didn't even know all that.

- Yeah. - What was the process

for getting the song from

Madonna or getting her to s say that?

- Well, no, 'cause I, I actually, I remember,

I remember coming home and being like, Hey Kelly,

do you want to, do you want to sing a song?

Something? I remember.

And then, and because they had reached out

to the guys in Incubus, they'd reached out to Mikey and Jose

or Caz had, because he was doing their a and r

and Yeah, it just, it it it came really

- Organically. Oh yeah.

- It was very organically.

It wasn't like forced, like, all right,

we're gonna take you kid and we're gonna make you a

- Star.

But you do want the credit. For sure. Back

- Then I did, but now I don't.

I mean, now it's like, I, I I, I literally made a suggestion

and then everyone else who was far more educated

and powerful than me just we're like, all right.

- Right. But it seems like the more you want the credit,

the less you're willing to give it to him

- At this time. Yeah. That's fair.

- That's probably fair.

- But look how that, look how the tables turn.

Remember in season one how you are like,

everyone cares about Jack.

Everyone cares about Jack.

They already write mean things about me.

- That's a good point. Yeah.

You're very much the star of this season so far. Yeah.

Well 'cause Jack's at home spraying the visitors with

- Water. Yeah.

- Yeah. I think

- Give us the point, Tony.

I gotta call the president a put him on the phone now.

I dunno. Him gonna suck up to the old Prezi.

- Oh no, no. Shout. I'm getting excited.

Suck up to the old Prezi, said Monica Lewinsky.

- Oh my God. I love that. Rude.

Here we go. Jackie.

- Living my best life right here.

It's all been downhill since then. Who's that?

That's, Hey, that's mom's hairdresser.

I, what's the hell?

Look, those people in a van literally just sat

there watching the house.

- That's so creepy. - Yeah.

- But why did you spray Kay? - Because it was Kay. Why not?

- He knew she wouldn't mind. Both of

- Those vans are just

- Full of just people watching us. Yeah.

- And do you know, the craziest thing is Kay did my hair

when I was the age of Jack's children

and now she's doing Jack's children's hair as well.

- Oh, I love that. We - Still,

- Yeah.

- CK It's crazy.

- How often do your children need their hair done?

Kids hair grows. Like, it's really quickly. So

- Like it perfect every six weeks they go through.

Oh, you're talking about regular hair? Oh yeah.

Just like a little haircut. No,

they're not getting blowouts.

Okay. Extensions. So, yeah.

As much as Andy would, Andy would love

that. It's not happening.

- My daughter like wishes she could be like JonBenet Ramsey

with big hair and like full makeup.

- Yeah. Yeah. But you're not with it.

- I mean, I let her like have fun

and play with makeup and watch videos.

But she is, yeah. Andy is all about the full makeup's.

- Does she come over to grandma's house

and find makeup? She's a girly girl.

- Very much a girly girl.

My eldest is not very much a girly girl, but my,

- Well what a fun grandma to have

because you, you know, all the jewelry

and the she makeup and

- She slept over here on Saturday,

yesterday comes home at like seven 30 night walks in the

door with bags from Neimans wearing like off white

and all this like couture stuff and like

- Cream linens.

- Yeah. And like busted out like a Dolce Gabbana like

- Dress.

Dress. And I'm, and mom picked her happening.

Aw, I love that.

Stood in front of the mirror and had herself measured

and sized and it was, it, I love taking her out

and doing girly stuff like that

- With her.

She really, really loves it. Yeah.

She gets such pleasure out of it.

- Yeah, she definitely inherited

- That for, isn't it funny that some

people are just into it?

Yeah. And then your other daughter's just like, no.

- Yeah. - Shem good.

- Yeah. She like one brush her hair for like a

- Week.

What did she call us? The shopping sisters? Yeah.

You should maybe give her the gas mask

as a little, hand me down.

Maybe she would like something like that.

- Probably. - Well we're, we're prepping you now

for the MTV movie awards.

So we're gonna see rehearsal

- Is this Mc rib episode?

- Oh yeah. This is, no,

it's either this one or the next one told you. But I

- Don't, I made a comment about the mo rib,

which is a sandwich at McDonald's

and it's haunted me for 22 years.

- Yeah. Why? Every time was so excited.

- But every time the mo rib returns I get messages.

Oh, the McRibs back. The McRibs back. Oh, still.

And the fuck thing is,

you would think McDonald's would've offered me a Yes.

A commercial for the McRib.

- Never did. At least free McRibs.

- That's right. - Never. I wouldn't. Would you eat one now?

- No. - No. It's such a weird meat.

- It is. It's not meat. - Yeah.

- It's like, - It's like a weird shape.

- Yeah. They like press, they like spray the rims on it.

Don't they press something on

- Dog bone?

- Yeah. They basically just take like lips and assholes

and just like put it in like a waffle made. Have you seen,

- You seen 3D printed meat?

- Yes, I have. It's disturbing.

- It's so scary. - It's so disturbing.

- But is that what like McDonald's

- Is?

Yes. No. What they do is they turn the pork into like a

liquid and then they basically

- Shape it like a rectangle.

- Shape it. Yeah. Like ribs

- And then like put indentations

- In it like ribs.

Do you know what the most dangerous thing to eat is?

That is like I

- Was about go on.

- I was gonna say assholes. That would,

that's luxury compared to what I'm gonna tell you.

I look at him smiling.

Do you know what it is?

- What? - Corn oil?

- No. Canola oil,

- Vegetable oil.

Corn oil. Corn oil. Canola oil. All of those. Well,

- Canola oil isn't actually oil derived from any

plant or anything. It's

- The only thing I have oil wise now is

avocado oil. That's it. Yeah.

- It's, - Or olive oil. That's it.

- Or butter. That's like the best. Yeah. Bur bur.

But no canola oil is industrial lubricant.

- It's great. - Yeah.

- For machines.

- Yes. They fuck.

I swear to you, if you go

and look at like industrial lubricant, it's canola oil.

- That's disgusting. - There's a there

and there was a a gun company

that made like gun oil that everyone went like crazy at.

'cause they're like, you're selling us canola oil.

And this company came out

and went, you guys are all fucking idiots.

Canola oil is

- Is gun oil.

- Is gun oil. It's like industrial lubricant.

- Deep fry your gun and eat it. Yeah. Dumb. Dumb.

All day long. I'm sure you've tried it.

Okay, let's see. Rehearsal.

- I'm just going to rehearsal. Not much really?

There's a cup ball. Exciting.

- Oh, there's Lisa Vega. Lisa Vega

- Behind Lisa.

I'm here. I've gotta go. I'm sorry. Tracy.

- Let's go to Kelly. Who's Tracy? The trailer over

here for the news

- Thing.

Oh, Kelly's trailer. Queen of the universe. T-shirt.

You need sprints. Do you remember sitting in that room?

Everyone we met Eminem we met.

- Yeah. - And they would bring everyone to us to meet.

- Just - Because you have a fucking

- Hit song doesn't mean you get to spritz to everyone.

Yes it does. I remember you really annoyed me with that.

You went that nice. Didn't give him an infection.

- No, I couldn't - Give him an infection.

Kelly, stop my pot jacket.

- Oh my God. That was the gayest thing you've ever said.

I know. Stop praying my PR jacket.

I wipe my ass with your Prada jacket Jack. I

- Wiped my ass - With your face.

- Never. - Kelly

- Wanted to be - Famous. Never stop.

- I never did. And now that she has complete fame

and success with herself, I'm happy for her.

I'm glad that she knows she got what she wanted.

- Happy. Jack wasn't all but he was a

- Man.

Oh boy.

- He lived in, she - Here.

- She here. - So creepy. Get away from her door.

The kids would all see, take

- His, what did I do to that?

Good luck. Don't fall down the stairs.

- Remember they wear those heels. Yeah. No way. Right?

Yeah. I still have those heels somewhere. Don't

- Do that out.

We sitting right there. I

- Think Kelly stop. Wow.

- She - Just so well pushed it to the end. Really

- Pushed it with that water spray. Didn't know

- Is did spritz.

It's just it Avion spritz.

You know, like that's just trying. I remember thinking,

fuck sake, don't trip. Well they,

- Yeah, I mean that's why you got rid of,

- I never really worn heels to anything before.

So having me wear like six inch

Versace heels,

- I pry and others, - I still have those heels.

Did you have to fight to get to wear the sneakers? I

- And they wanted you to run down.

- So I had to fight to wear the sneakers. I did.

I remember that. That's crazy.

- The sneakers got better with the outfit anyway.

I, I think so. Absolutely. Yeah. Heels.

- Not Kelly. Those silly shoes. No, not

- At that time.

So you rehearsed in them and then changed later. Yes. Yeah.

- Do you remember when you were doing the music video?

I don't know if it's in this season.

I, I think it might have been before we

started filming again.

And you were, you were at the thrift shop on Melrose.

- Yes. Yeah. - And you had me removed from set.

- Did I? - Yeah.

- Why? - They're like, I don't want him here.

He needs to be, get him out of here.

- 'cause you were being a pest so

- Cruel.

Cruel to each other. I think I just came

to a like, I don't know.

I I, I think I made a comment. Is that true? Really?

I really? Yes. I swear to you, you had me removed.

A Melinda came out to me and was like, you need to leave

because she's refusing to film.

Because it was when they had you do the dance.

And I think I like made a comment.

- Oh, of course. Then that's - Why I made a comment about

you dancing and then you were like, get him out

of here. I'm not gonna film.

- It's amazing that they were constantly at each other

but they never left each other alone.

- Yeah. - Yeah. We were

- Together all the time.

Yeah. You could tell during

- This time, time from the moment I woke up

to the time it was fucking tit for all day long.

- Because you are like, you're fucking with her too.

But in this big moment.

But you do seem supportive and nervous

and you're filming everything.

So it's like this like supportive brother thing.

But then you're being a do remember Portman from that

- Night?

- Oh yeah. Was she? Oh yeah. We'll snobby. We'll

- See that too.

She was lovely. Aww. No, she lets him sit in her lap.

And I remember Jack was really excited. Yeah,

- Well - Really excited.

Oh yeah.

- But there was that very much the vibe.

Were you like nervous for Kelly?

- Yeah. Oh yeah. I remember being really nervous

- And you wanted to be there for it.

- Sure. Yeah. No, it was exciting.

We all, it was like really like

- Yeah.

- A year prior to this, Kelly

and I were just, we were watching Mt. V just

- Yeah.

And we were just kids. Yeah. Yeah.

- March of 20, you know, March of 2001

I was finishing eighth grade and you know, and

or may of, you know, I was finishing eighth grade,

Kelly was go, you know, going into 10th grade

and we were just kids.

Yeah. And then fast forward we Kelly's performing at

something that we religiously would watch.

- Yeah. Which - Was the MTV awards.

And so it was, they were

- Massive at that time to do that show.

Huge. I still can't believe

that was the first time I'd sang in front

of people like that.

It's really a kind of a crazy thing to do. Yeah.

From never singing in front of anybody

and then all of a sudden and

- The mt.

An auditorium full of like the biggest names in in movie.

'cause it was the movie awards.

- Yeah. - And then

- I remember Ben Affleck was there.

- Yeah. JLo was there. Yeah. It was like a whole

- Yeah, we're gonna see - Some.

- It was just no one. - JLo. I love J-Lo.

She invites me to everything

that she does when she's launching new things

and everything is always so much fun.

And her and her mother have a great relationship.

She knows all the dance moves. Nice.

- Have you seen that video? - What video? Her movie. It's

- Fucking unbelievable.

It's too intense. What is

- JLo's movie about her love affairs of her life?

She'd made a movie about her three marriages

- Have seen It's - All dance I want.

It's a singing and dancing.

- Oh, okay. So - Like an intern

- Making the book.

- Yeah. - Do you think you

would've been invited to the White House

before if the show had never aired?

Fuck. No. No. Fuck no.

- Nor nor the MTV awards nor fucking anything thereafter.

- We weren't invited anywhere. He must be joking

- When he would get nominated for Grammys.

They'd have to, they'd have to be like,

can we please get some tickets?

- Yeah. - They'd be like, oh we don't want,

we don't want that Osborne here.

Something's gonna happen.

- Well the president seems

to be very happy to have you there.

Let's get back to Ozzy and she in DC

I think guys, come on.

- Oh fuck up. Oh, more Glen close.

- No, you look like Harrison Ford.

Don't you think he looks like Harrison Ford?

- I think you look like fucking Betty Boobs and fucking I

- Do.

You look like Harrison Ford.

- Thanks a lot. You can't, - I don't

- Know if he looks like Harrison Ford Word.

- And why does that deserve

to be called thought I'm say that word.

What? The C word.

You know, I'll found out

that it could say anything to a woman.

You mentioned that C word

and you, you suddenly get this feeling of death come over.

You know,

- Look Dad.

Someone's a little blitzed. Yeah. Something.

Someone's so someone's dipped into the stash

a little early that day.

- Oh yeah. Look at him. Does. He's not even you

- Fucking did like bouncing off the rings

of satin my fucking trousers for them.

My ankles should wear a bell. But I can sew

- Them - Don't I Don?

Don't don't do that. Please. Should have not wear a belt.

- Whereabout - You still have eh,

- Look, he's wearing that belt right now.

Hair. It doesn't look. That's awesome.

It looks like you just got out of bed.

I got in that for his 25th anniversary. It's gorgeous.

What do you think you're gonna look like, Daniel. Now

- It's the way I look.

Please don't at with what I look like. Cher. Don't

- Make - Me look

- Like - Cher.

- Is that Minnie? Who is it? Hey Minnie, that's John. Hello.

Hi. Hello. How lovely Guy Greta's husband.

John you big song. Nice to see you. Nice.

See you look lovely. Nice to see you again.

How's how you guys came? We so

- Excited.

Limo on the way

to the White House tomorrow morning.

- You're so pretty. Is that dress, those titties?

I'm allowed to say that. They've all gone down.

Can I ask a question in a bag? Did you borrowed her?

- Kelly's like, because I - Want it. No.

'cause I've just never seen it.

- Everyone's just like, what?

- Caressing Some general, - I like your suit.

- Oh, there he is. Oh that is so funny.

What a fantastic audience we had tonight.

Washington Power Brokers celebrities.

Hollywood stars. Here it is. Ozzy Osborn

- Around - Screaming.

Thank you. Hey John, thank you for coming.

It was a pleasure Dad.

You are the fucking, I just wanna say I had the best night

of my life

tonight. Drunk

- A little bit - Before.

Before you got there. Yes.

I love that you went to the White House. Fucked up.

- Completely fucked up.

But it was the, the funniest part

of it is sometimes dad would take so many pills

that he just didn't blink.

- Yeah. - So he was, he would

- Just like froze. He

- Froze in night.

- Like you know when you see those videos of online

where they're like, we're living in a simulation

and there's like a dog that's frozen that was,

he'd be so biked up. He'd just be like,

- So do you remember this visit to the White House?

- Kind of. - Yeah. Was it the greatest night of your life?

Oh God, apparently every night. Who was the actress?

- Every night that I got fucked up

was the guy he is known my life.

- There was a very famous actress, I'll think of her name

and she'd broken her leg

and Ozzy said, did they give you painkillers?

And she said, oh yes. He goes, what were they?

I can't remember what she said they were.

And then Ozzy said, can I buy some from you?

And well I'm like going Whoa,

- At the fucking White House.

No drug transactions here.

- That is so funny. That actually, yes, Glen. Glen close.

- Oh you for pay. She goes, perker said, I said,

you wouldn't give me a few what want that for,

for fun Because, because this night is to get

- Lit.

- I'd be fucking flying. You still there?

- Well what was the vibe at this time?

'cause I imagine it was very like, you know,

it's early 2002, whatever party you're in,

we're all friends right now.

We're just like, you know, pro America.

- Oh - Yeah. That's all of it.

- Well, yeah, party. And it kind of

what I mean now everyone was like

- The thing, the thing was then it wasn't

the case of if you don't agree with me politically,

I can't be your friend now it's like that.

Then it was okay, you believe in this.

I believe in that. Well,

- Especially right after you were allowed your opinion.

- Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was no biggie at all.

And it was much nicer times.

- But them kind of, people have no fucking idea the way

the rest of us live.

Love fucking spice aliens.

- You mean like the DC crowd? - Yeah.

- I've got no fucking idea. What we're, what reality?

- Well yeah it seems like people are just kind

of staring too, like why is Ozzy Osborne here?

This is crazy. Like the looks

- That you're, but some of 'em are like,

- Well I mean a lot

of those hardcore Christians too I imagine are just like,

- Oh, just the way dad walks in.

Scream the devil's in this house.

- But it, but the, the thing was that kind of ended

the whole like, you know, boycott Aussie, you know, from the

very conservative Christian world had ended

when the Osbornes came out.

Everyone was like, we love him.

- That's so funny. - Yeah. Who knew?

- Yeah. Yeah. It did go from him being banned everywhere

to He's a dad. Yeah. Just like me.

- Yeah, - Yeah. Yeah.

- That's so wild. Wow. Power of tv. Yeah.

Did you get to tell Harrison Ford that night

that you think dad looks like him?

- He didn't like me. He didn't?

- Oh no. Daddy asked him the same thing three times

and he got kind of pissed off.

Which one do you have any weed? But he, lemme tell you.

Harrison Ford, great actor, but he ate no shits and giggles.

- I, I - Serious man. Oh,

- A few years after this I became good friends with his son

and I used to go to his house and one time I went

and I would always, I would always fuck

with, it was Malcolm.

We'd always fuck around. We had a real like sarcastic

friendship and I rang the intercom

and just thinking it was Malcolm gonna pick up

and IP whoever picks up the phone and goes, hello?

And I went, no. And he goes, fuck you. And hung up.

And it was Harrison Ford.

- Oh no. Jack. So annoying. Yep.

- So annoying. - You'd think he

would be more of a fun time. 'cause he is a huge

- Stoner.

No, he, he's cry all the time.

He's no shits and giggles at all.

It's like he has no sense of humor. Listen,

- Muhan Solo and Indiana Jones,

he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Yes, true. He gets a whole pass for being the nicest guy

or the biggest asshole ever. Good in my books.

- Speaking of assholes,

let's see Jack and Kelly fighting again.

Oh no, no.

- Please. We always remember

as a performer, you first public appearance.

My first public appearance was a fire station in

Birmingham, England.

- Is that true? Yeah. - There was three firemen

and a fucking Janis in it. I'll

- Probably - Put this

- In the audience and I was like,

- Hi dda.

- Smell nice Jan because - I shower.

- Why'd you throw a TV out the window?

- A TV out the window. It's very 1980.

This is when you threw the TV out the window. Two,

- Just don't fuck around.

I love you.

- Arthur's - So feisty.

- Yeah. And Arthur also does,

takes a flying leap into the shitty litter

and shouts down park and i's disgusted. So gross. Wait,

- What do you, what - Did you say?

It's like I go there.

- Can we, can we back? It's definitely about shit.

- And Arthur also does, takes a flying leap into the shitty

litter and chows down park and now's disgusted. So gross.

- Oh, about the dog eating the cat. It's like I go

- In there, he's like,

- No graphics.

- It was Arthur - What? Recycled fish.

- Hey. - And then he got sick from it as well.

- Guys, can we just stop? It's really not necess. Sorry.

You're bad. Move. No, I'm not.

I'm just don't feel like talking about boogers,

vomit and shit.

- Who are the two people you're getting in tomorrow?

- Tim and Jaime. - Fuck

- Off. They're not

- Coming.

You know what, Kelly? Tim and Jaime,

you do your little fucking rock show

and let me enjoy myself. Okay?

- I hope someone beat you up. - You know what Kelly? I

- Hope your album fails. Oh,

- Shut up Jack.

She just hoped I got beaten up. All is true. I love that.

Kelly goes, I hope you get beaten up. Nothing from you.

And then it might say your album fail.

- I'm sorry. If you could never be

happy for anyone again your baby. Where do you want your,

- Don't even worry about it.

- It's chaos. Who are those friends that you didn't want to

- Come?

Don't ask me. All it was was I do this at a tennis match

- Back and course he's - Still son know exactly the same.

My friend Tim Gavin, who's still my friend.

- Yeah. - Yeah. You don't like him or you do not?

No, I loved him.

- Yeah. Tim's awesome.

And then he, his buddy HeNe, who I haven't seen in over 20

- Years.

Yeah, I haven't seen him in a long

- Time.

But yeah, they were just friends of mine.

- Why didn't you want them to go

specifically? Because they were like my,

- My, they were like my potty friends.

Like we would just drink and do drugs and like, oh,

- 'cause you thought that might be annoying altogether.

- No, they're naughty.

- Oh. And might get you in trouble. Yeah,

- Probably.

Yeah. I definitely got up to no good with them.

- Did you guys start fighting more in the second season

because people enjoyed it in the

first, or this is all just real? It just, it was

- Never like, oh we're gonna do this. 'cause yeah,

- That was just - How we

- Communicated.

- And - Why are you

so interested in mocking Kelly for all of this?

Like were you kind of jealous at the time or was it just I

- Think maybe, I think maybe I was like,

- Because the attention has shifted. I

- Don't think - It was jealousy.

It was more like, well what am I gonna do now?

- It it, I think maybe a part of it was that,

but I also think it was like, well

what the fuck am I even here?

Like why am I even here? Look it, it just felt weird

- Because you were the antagonist.

- Yes. But as we will see,

it was Kelly was also giving it pretty hard,

- Which as I was, I do, I do.

I I watch some of it back and what I was saying

before is that it, if you were to watch this,

you would think, oh my god,

she absolutely hates her brother.

All they do is bicker.

But I have like such fond memories of Jack

and like I think of him and I, I'm like, oh Jack.

You know, like it's never like, oh yeah.

- And it is very sweet at the time just that you're there

and supporting in your way.

- Yeah. Yeah. No, it was,

but it was funny that time MTV at the MTV movie awards gave

me a camera and they were like, do a diary.

And they added it into the MTV awards,

like post thing, whatever they did.

Yeah. It was like Jack's diary, camera, the whatever.

- Which, where does that even go at the time?

- Yeah. I don't know. - Well, you don't wanna miss this.

It's Kelly. It is the movie awards. You wanna see it?

- Yeah, - We're gonna see it. Yeah, we're gonna see it.

Well, she's Scott Wolf at that time.

- Wow. But not is out there, man.

I was actually at a big doing with getting signed, so

I don't look at my sister in the shower

and I don't go anywhere near her in the showers.

Oh yeah. Who's that? That rule? It's

- That jaw rule.

Yeah. You're managing a band, right?

- Hoodwinked. Bamboozled.

Let astray, tell me how your record labels going.

I don't have a record label actually.

- Who was up? Kelly? I that wrote the Jack.

I'm here to perform and he just a Exactly.

I Lee. So need to go find

- Natalie Paulman.

I, I was just there just to stalk. Be there, right? Yeah.

I'll just be like, when she's there, you're there.

I'm the guy in the corner. Yeah.

When she looks you're there. Look. N wk.

Do you know how publicist Very well, Vinny.

Is she with her tonight? Oh my gosh.

W can you just, yeah. Yeah.

But it's, it's like a fucking

mouse fought now compared to what it used be.

It's Paulman. Vinny was an executive at MTV. Oh, there

- She is.

There she is. There she is. And he was our favorite.

- God, this is embarrassing.

- It's great how casual everyone is too. Yeah. Really?

Wouldn't that be nice? Yes. To wear jeans

- To an workshop.

We had a moment. We had a moment. There was a

moment from that moment.

It grows a seed that's been planted.

It's gonna develop through the evening. It's gonna, oh yeah.

I love anything I can do.

I don't know if I can do this whole,

I don't think I can do the rest of this show.

- I'm just letting you know, Jack.

You don't have to perform.

- I don't. I'm just a leach.

- He's stalking. But that's why like,

at least like Walker is

- Cubed now look, that's Rod Asa.

Rod Asa was the guy who green lit the show.

Oh, here. Oh, suck this. Suck this. I still have

- That jacket too.

- Yeah. Punk rock. Yes.

I've had a moment with Natalie Portman.

See, I've told you this is, I've peaked at 16,

all been steady downhill since one

- Two.

Here it is. Oh, my next

one is my dirt.

Fuck. No, it's

about to go on.

- I don't think - Natalie, can I sit on your knee? Okay.

You must have been watching it live though.

Somehow was achieved. I'm sorry.

Oh, there's wasn't

there in spirit.

You were there in spirit. I'm here.

- There is a young new charming singer.

- Are you singing a track or are you live? My God,

- Kelly.

- I was, - I think it's live.

Yeah, we were singing. We had to do

- It live.

I had to do it live. I didn't have the option of Oh,

your band was the

- Rub of pure rubbish.

- Yeah. So Pure Rubbish was a punk band

that was signed to the label that they had

and yeah, they were, they were,

I wonder whatever happened to those guys?

- I don't know. - They were pretty talented.

- Natalie Paul was a good, good looking woman.

- Sweet. Didn't she look sweet? Natalie Portman.

- Yeah. - It's great. It's a little creepy.

- Listen, - At some point you're like, great ass.

And I'm like, you're shut. Do you me say that?

Did you miss that? Yeah. Yeah. Running Jack. Say sorry.

Sorry. Natalie. Pullman. Sorry.

She's, it'd be creepy coming from a grown man,

but your teenagers, it's just like, ugh.

- It's it great. Yeah. It's, it's,

it would be creepy from a grown man's just icky from

a 16-year-old.

- Yeah. Yeah. Especially when you're just

stalking her with your camera.

Yeah. You're lucky she didn't go slap. I don't think I said

- It to her.

- No, no. It's just, it's just in the show.

- You didn't No. Okay. I didn't say it to her.

- But there are, yeah, there are other creepy moments.

Oh no. That's very funny. But so Ozzy,

you were in the uk, I guess in the uk.

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. And you just shot, he shot

that via satellite at, yeah, the little intro.

I love this.

We're gonna get to the McRib, but I also just love that

after like you guys go right back

to being little kids with your mom.

Yeah. In the car. Like it's just so sweet.

You're like having these huge moments

and then you're just, they're kids.

I didn't think I could do it.

- Thumb sucking. Still sucking. Still sucking the thumb.

- Muck rib is back. Oh, I'm so excited.

Are you serious, Jack? That is so good.

- You are getting excited over the muck rib.

- You know what Kelly M it's the little things that count.

- Jack goes Muck rib is - Back.

- Shut up. - You know you're such a twin Jack. The mo rib.

- Fuck you. Fuck you. And little, it was the Goss thingy.

- Fuck you year oldy. Just because

- I'm really, really, really good looking.

- You're jealous. - And you're excited about the mo

rib. Yeah.

- Mo rib is back.

You wish you could get excited and little things like that.

Thank you. Here we are. Joy to the

- World.

We are home again. Lala Lala. Lala.

- Mom. You're just like looking at this like,

- I know. I'm like,

- Okay.

- By - The way, Jack, you're so right.

Like perfect McDonald's commercial.

It's the little things that count.

- Yeah. McRib. But why? - I never

- Got a, it's something.

Never got nothing from gold. It was cheap. Fucking,

- Maybe Jack, they'll do like a retro commercial

and you'll finally get your McRib.

- I finally get my, yeah. Yes. My McRib moment.

- Do you notice they don't really advertise on TV anymore?

- Yeah, they do. - Yes they do. Do they? Oh yeah. Sporting

- Event.

Yeah. We just don't see as many commercials anymore. Yeah.

Yeah. But when I'm in a hotel,

then there are commercials and it's

- Weird.

- So LA during the first season, we were trying

to figure out when you stopped the thumb

- Sucking. Thumb sucking. Well I'm,

- But at this point it's going, I'm strong.

- I'm still continuing that glory. When she

- Was tired. The

- Thumb - Sucking.

It's a big night. Yeah. It's probably comforting.

So do you know, so it was like, is this maybe the last year

of it or did people ever come for you

for the thumb sucking in the show?

- I can't remember.

They came for me for so many other things.

- Don't, yeah. You keep - Track. The thumb

sucking wouldn't have bothered me.

Right, right.

- It's so sweet. This moment though Sharon,

that they're just like your babies again

after this like, you know, being out

and being celebrities for a night

and they're just leaning on you.

Did you get the McRib? You drove through? I

- Think they must have - Done I

- No, I, no, we - Didn't get

- McDonald's. We didn't get McDonald's.

- No. The only thing I like at McDonald's is the fries.

- Yeah. They're so good. And they're even real potatoes.

- Love those fries. - Yep.

- Yeah. No, I, I actually,

I think I've maybe had McDonald's since then.

I could probably. It's less than one hand. Like

- Yeah.

- Maybe three or four times. Me too. Yeah.

- Yeah. - Last time I had, it was about 10 years ago at

- Apple.

Don't you remember Daddy's Sabbath show afterwards we

stopped and we got it on the bus.

But it was so bad we couldn't

- Eat it.

Tasteless. It didn't taste of anything.

- Yeah. I had at an airport not long ago, I was like,

this is the grossest fucking

- Thing thing ever.

- There goes now there goes my McDonald's looks

- So perfect.

It tastes like nothing.

- Tastes like cardboard - Sadness

- With - Ketchup.

Do you ever miss these times Sharon of just like

the kids being sort of on this verge of

- Well be out.

Well Sharon and I lucky when it Sunday it's kind of quiet

because everybody, they, they come, they still,

I been going each other to this day

- Rolling their eyes at each other. You know,

- I don't do the eye rolling ish.

- Even Pete just laughed. I - Think we have it.

Even Pete just laughed at that.

- I do the eye rolling. I do the hing Eye rolling is like,

we have some rolling in this podcast for

- Sure.

Oh really? Yeah.

- Yeah. - Come on. Let's see the eye. Rolling.

- Let's hear from Sharon on this time.

This is a little bit the like, they very much set up

that something bad was going to happen

at the end of this episode.

And they even called it like this episode's called

- What - Code Up, what Goes Up And the next one's called

Comes Down, which I'm like, Ooh, ominous.

But yo Ozzy

so pleased with yourself. I love your

- Hair York for two months.

Big giant bro. So cute. Why does mom have so much?

- I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why your mom has

so much shit. 'cause she's the boss.

- Shit. Fucking bollocks. Oh my God. Come on

- Great dining. Let's

- Go, let's go guys.

Come on. I can't quite believe it

'cause it's all happened so quick.

Just a few months.

Our whole lives turned upside down

and everybody's off doing different projects.

- I'd always have my hands in my pockets when

I was in the, everyone's

- Off doing projects and I'm sat there.

- It's your own project.

Really great for us that I think something's gonna come

and like, you know, knock us on the chin and,

'cause I can't believe that everything is so good.

I am always like one of these people, like,

I know typical Jewish mother, something's gonna happen.

It can't be this good, you know? Next time on The Osborn.

- What do you think made you say that?

Are you a witch? Do you feel like you predict things?

- Time to time. Everything. We church off the rip to scale

- It.

It was just really odd because

- Everything that we tried to do was a great big success.

- That's - Great.

- I it when you get mugged at airports

and in its mania, it sort, something's gotta give.

- Do you remember having this feeling of like,

oh no, something's coming.

- I remember that conversation so well

and it was when we got to the hotel that I found

- Out - It was literally within hours.

- Whoa. Do you think she has powers of prediction ever?

I feel like my mom does for sure.

- Definitely. My mom has crazy spidey senses where she will.

- Is that when I broke my neck? No.

- No, not yet. No.

- That was about a year and a half after this.

- Were you not feeling well at this time

and then thinking like, oh, maybe there's

something I'm ignoring or this is

- Cancer when you got - Yeah.

Touch Tired. Yeah.

- Always tired. Yeah. Yeah.

- But you still look fondly back at

- This time, - But you never had any pain, did you?

- I did in at night. I used to get bad stomach pain.

- Mm. Why didn't you go sooner?

- Because you always think, oh, it's nothing. You know?

- Not me - All worked out.

- Yeah. Anything lasts more than half an hour in me.

I'm striped down the fucking road.

- That's good way. Yeah. Good way.

- Oh, he loves a good doctor. - I hate it as well. I can't

- See. Yeah.

- When you were camped out spraying people,

did they often think it was your dad

and then go like, oh, I've interacted

with him, he's sprayed me.

But it's like, I don't know.

- I don't - Know. It's crazy that it was You also,

- Yeah, I don't know.

I, I just, I don't, that's a good question.

I don't know who they thought it was.

Yeah, I think it, they, I'm assuming,

I just assumed they thought it was security doing it.

- Yeah. - But they probably,

I mean they're like screaming Aussie,

so they probably thought it was dad spending all his

time, you know, not

- Touring.

Yeah. Those guys were probably so excited.

They made it on the show.

- Yeah. - Which, how did you, yeah.

How come their faces don't have

to be blurred or anything? Like,

- Because they probably signed a release.

Yeah. So after that happened they, MTV would've sent,

Hey, will you sign this?

You know, if you want to be, you know,

so we can use your face.

Yeah. Because that was a, they would have like teams

of like three

or four kind of low rung production assistants

that would just go and get releases wherever we

- Went. Right.

- They would have a giant clipboard

and just, Hey, will you sign this, sign this, sign this.

Well, and that's what was interesting about the MTV movie

awards is that we didn't have to have anyone sign releases

because by turning up they were giving MTV the

right to use their

- Oh, perfect.

- Yeah. So it's why we - So,

and with any MTV event, that would be the case.

Yeah. It says as you go in that you are gonna be filmed

and you give permission like entering,

- Well that was episode one on the second

- Season.

Oh, woohoo.