Original subtitles

- Hello.

Osbornes. Hello, Amy.

- What's going on? - Welcome back.

- Thank you, Amy. - It's been minutes.

- It has. - Yeah. We're into episode seven now.

You guys are zipping through this.

- Oh, Lord. How many more episodes did we have?

- Hundreds? No, I don't know.

Well, in this season it goes to episode 10.

- Okay, - So the next ones, I don't know, do you know,

Jack, do you have an idea of

- Go ahead.

- 50 something. How many seasons did you all do?

- Oh. Oh no. We technically did three and a half seasons.

Yeah. So all in all, there is fif 50 episodes of the show,

and then there's like four

or five like specials that we did.

- Do you feel like you have it in you to do 43 more things?

Oh my gosh, let's not think about it.

- Yeah. - Well, this is a fun one

because there are multiple special occasions going on,

and we know you love a party and a holiday.

So let's start with some share home making My favorite.

- Oh my God,

there's something over it. No, no, no.

- What's, what the fuck did Rosie? The rivet of bandana mom.

- She's doing hard work.

Is that Dana crazy? I

- Love that you put it under the water like it

was gonna put the fire up.

No, I put it in the disposal. Oh, okay.

- I have no idea what that was.

'cause it looks like a chicken wing,

but it was in the toaster, a toaster.

- So I'm - Really confused. I think it was a bagel

- About what that was.

Do you think it was that cu couldn't have been a bagel? Look

- At it.

Did you just say that Cunt. Be a bagel.

- That's a cunt bagel. - Cunt bagel. What is it? I have no

- Idea.

It looks like you're gonna throw it over the

neighbor's mats,

- But also too, why such a small toaster?

- Well, so where did I purchase all these hats from?

- I think all of your kitchen appliances should have been

unplugged at all times.

- I agree. I think so. - This kitchen is a fire hazard.

Ozzy, has Sharon ever successfully cooked you a

delicious meal?

- Yeah. - What's your favorite specialty?

- Chicken Sunday lunch. - Chicken

- And potatoes.

Yeah. And veggies. Yeah.

It's like a traditional Sunday lunch. And you still do that?

Yo,

- I was gonna say, when was the last time

- Christmas.

You did not cook a Christmas? Mom. You did fucking cook.

You heated up stuff

- You ordered from.

I did not. I, Joan on

- Third made everything from scratch.

You are lying. Everything. No,

- Not the only thing you did from scratch was your ass while

you were watching tv while it was

- How - You were waiting for Postmates

- To deliver it.

Dare you. How dare you.

See you're going back to the 16-year-old now. Oh,

- Okay. We're going

- Backwards. Yes.

- Okay. - What about during Thanksgiving,

Christmas type holidays?

Were you mostly cooking?

- No. We get these things from different restaurants that,

like these pre-made meal boxes that give, they come

with like very accurate instructions of how to warm it up,

so you can't really fuck it up. Well, in

- The last episode, we saw you get injured

and Yeah, it's, it's spreading. The injuries are spreading.

- It's spreading. It's like covid.

- Well, I, I'm quite,

we never discussed the cat with herpes.

- Yeah. Wait, I, - This, I did just skip right over that.

Yeah. Yeah. It's so gross. Did did he have herpes?

Was it pus or guus? No, it was pus. Gus Pus. Perfect name.

Yeah. With herpes. So

- It's one you might wanna avoid. But don't

- All - Cats carry the herpes virus or something like that?

I have no idea. Not at all.

- No. I Amy's very defensive of cats.

Look at her. She's like, absolutely

- Not.

That is not true at all. None of herpes. That's crazy.

They come in with a big sore on their lip. Where were

- You all night?

Apparently this was hanging out in the dock. Huh?

This was in the cat's eyes though.

- In the eyes. Herpes in the eyes.

- My eyes. Maybe She was hanging

- Out at the Roosevelt Hotel. The rainbow.

- Oh. Shots fired.

- Let's see who's injured now. Get stuck.

- I didn't break my foot. I broke the shin bone.

It's so stupid. I got out the shower and I slipped.

I slipped in the, in the bathroom and I broke my foot.

- Ah, what's the, what's happening here? It's

- Really, really awfully painful.

Okay. I think Doctor said, rest your legs.

You're in my room. The thing is that I'm a human being

and I can only know what God gives me.

No, he's there. But when he just had his leg,

- What, what is Lola eating?

The sound just killed me.

- Aw, bless me too. Rest in peace. Lola,

- I thought of - You when

- I knew that - Was coming.

So we f we found that we solved a mystery.

You slipped in the shower and broke your shin. I

- Can't remember.

- And then continued to tour. - That's right. Wait,

- Were those ladies making Lola's food?

- No, I think they were making dinner, but I maybe they, I

- Don't know.

I think they were just cooking

for Lola. Oh, I think the way,

- Because that didn't look like what they were

- Cooking.

No. Look, those look like,

- Is that lemons?

- No, - That's little Keisha. Maybe minced pies.

- No, I don't know what is happening.

- A corn on top. Right.

Those are corn on the cob or potatoes maybe.

- All I remember it - Have mini quiche to me. Oh, squash

- Something.

I have no idea what they are.

- I think they could possibly be minced little

baby mince pies.

- Why? There's no Christmas tree

- Bowl - There. Bowl of vs.

- Boli vs. What? - A Vons. What

- Little s aren't they?

- Yeah. - Oh, little kis. Yeah. Oh, vivant. Oh

- Yeah.

That's actually gonna be my rap name is Little Ki

- Delicious.

- I'm gonna be dropping a SoundCloud track pretty

soon. So, you know,

- And you can hang out with this lady while you record.

- That's right. That's She's my hype lady.

- Okay. Well, one of your other favorite activities,

of course, Sharon is helping style Ozzie.

Yes. So we'll see the current outfit that he's mad at.

- Oh no. - I am feeling like Mr.

Lucky today,

- The reason I've got

this big smile on my face. I don't,

- This big - Smile

- On, - On my face in the whole rat race. Oh,

- I wouldn't be happy in that.

- I just wanted, it's a simple song.

I just wanted to keep the fucking video simple.

Don his own fucking bats and fucking

- Shit.

Daddy's got something on his foot, I think.

Yeah, I think it's amazing. And it's gonna read clean.

- It'll read real clean. Just try it. Bat wings.

I, I want, I don't want to, I don't want

anything to do with bats.

I'm sick to death of these fucking new bats.

So that's all my fucking career.

You talk about a fucking bat.

- Do you like bats more? Now? I'm stuck with it.

- It must be exhausting to have to talk about all the time.

They just put you in a bat outfit. It's crazy.

- And then came Covid.

- It's a, it's enough to send you batty.

- There we go. - Hey,

- Little Kih - There. We got a little kih

- Coming at you little.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you know if you ended up

wearing the bat costume? Ozzy? I

- Don't know.

- Okay. Yeah. I'm trying to remember

what video this was for.

- I believe it was for the Dreamer video.

- No, no. - I, I,

no, I think you're right. I think I'm right.

- I think he's right. - I think I'm right.

- Well, let's see. How did

- You, do you wanna see back one of the tapes?

- Yeah, - Because Rob directed it.

- Have you seen that stupid gay bat coat

I've got in my dressing room.

I haven't seen, oh, man, I, I,

I said I want, I want him to be a plane.

I, I look like fog and a jump boat at the fucking window.

Damn, Logan. I mean,

that's totally casual dreamer

with a fucking skull on my chest.

- Then my, I've got a plain black shirt. I said

- That to - Bit when I first you.

I'll give you you a plain black shirt. Want a plain black?

Do we have a plain black long sleeve?

- I think it was a wise choice with the plain black.

What sleeve? I do,

- I didn't like.

And I'm sure that he didn't wear that coat in the video.

- No. But you wanted him to.

- Well, I didn't see him wear it and look at it on set.

I don't think it got that far. I just

- Making it up.

And who directed? I can't fucking

- Remember - Who directed this video.

- Rob. Rob. - Oh, Rob directed it. Oh, cool.

Ozzy, was it your idea

or Rob's to have that so strict down simple, just you

- Singing the song was about saving the fucking planet.

I hardly wanna stand with a

glitzy fucking skull on my chest.

I didn't think it was would, would work. Yeah.

I didn't think it would. Good sense. Or,

- Yeah.

So in the final version, it's just plain black T-shirt.

- Believe - So

- No Bat outfit, songs, - Bat.

Oh. I mean, bats nearly did destroy the world though.

- I said - Covid Covid. Yeah. You know?

- Yep. So they say, - So they say hot. I'm

- Surprised it was never linked back to Ozzy Summer.

- That rumor has it, rumor has it that he was, you know,

waning around a meat market at, you know,

in Wuhan at one point, his back costume.

- Well, I like to prep you a little bit, Kelly,

for your upcoming cringe moments.

Oh, no, I'm good.

But Jack's been working hard on his label

and you are feeling a little bit competitive.

Am I? Oh dear. I want some

- Credit.

Just like, okay. What really bothers me is like,

when I like open and write magazine

and read something on my brother,

and it, it never says, never says anything about me.

It's always like she's working at Epic.

Well, because, and there's no, and makes

- Hannah's like, well, nothing.

- And I'm such like fucking news a kid.

Like, I have nothing to show

for my achievements or anything that I do.

Right. And actual fact, you don't need other people's.

No, no, I know that. But actual fact, I found the band

that Jack got the development deal, me and my friends did,

and all this stupid shit.

And it's just like, I did, do I get any credit for it?

Little Cals.

- Little Cal and Hannahs.

- I so, so sorry for Hannah.

She's like not getting in the middle of him.

- Look at Hannah looking at me. But you, sorry.

- She's such a co That's I'm such a cock.

Yes, you are a cock officer.

You can get out my fucking room. Thank you.

I'm not in your room. Wait, are we getting Yeah,

- I like the knocker on the door.

That's gotta be the longest towel I've ever seen.

- It was a big towel. - I Yeah, it's a long towel.

Kelly, was this an ongoing feeling

or just would come up at some moments,

- But moments.

But why did you just like, come into my room

and then call me a cocksucker and then

- Leave?

I talked you, was I waiting for you

- For I don't know what you were doing. We

- Just, I think Hannah was wanting to hang out with you.

- Okay. - And that's when you say like, well,

he is your friend, so if you wanna go in there, fine.

But then you immediately calm a cop sucker. Yeah.

- Hannah was, Hannah was a good friend. She was awesome.

- Is that Elijah's sister? Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

- Yeah. And then we, she's lovely. Lived together for years.

- How do you feel watching that back, Kelly?

- I'm just, do you remember - Feeling that competition? No.

When there would be more stories about Jack out than

- You.

I remember feeling like the way

that I was being portrayed was like, I didn't do anything.

And it made me feel bad because I didn't do anything.

- But we were - Also kids. You kids.

- Yeah. What are you meant to do at that age?

- Work for Epic Records. Duh.

- Start your own label. Go out to show scouting.

- But wait, I'm so confused by your lisp not to be mean.

- No, - I, I'm just like, I don't remember you

ever having a lisp.

- But if I'm gonna be really honest with you, I look at

that footage and I'm like, oh gosh, I'm so high.

- Yeah. - And that's where the lisp comes from.

- But you always, Kelly always had a list.

- I've always, and Jack, there's certain videos I,

I watch back of myself and I have this lisp and it,

and I'm like, I guess I have a lisp.

- Yeah, but you did, you were as a little one.

You always had a lisp.

- Did I? Yes. - Look that.

- Yeah, exactly. I, I never realized that. How strong it is.

Yeah. It's a doorway.

- She would hold her arm up with her hand.

- It seems stronger when Yeah.

Potentially when you're high,

but also when you're like, when you're upset. Yeah.

- She's a great baby. Anyway. I love the

- Beautiful baby that the baby photos of both

of you are so cute.

- All of them, all of them are great babies.

- Were you the only one that sucked

your thumb for a long time?

- Yeah. Yeah. - Aw, that's so sweet.

- And like, it's weird, like, even now,

I'll wake up in the middle of the night

and I'm doing like the mouth motion of sucking my thumb,

but I'm not sucking my thumb.

It's the weirdest thing ever.

I feel like thumb suckers kind

of subconsciously do it their entire lives.

- Mm. Yeah. Put something in there.

I didn't know where to go with it. Okay, moving on.

Stop speaking. Please don't.

- Kelly, just turn the color of a jacket

- I'm pushing too.

I don't know. Things just come out sometimes.

Well, as usual, you will go to your dad

for some advice on how you're feeling.

- Wonder what advice? Are you sucking your thumb there?

- Yes. Probably. - You are?

- Yeah. - No,

- Dad. I hate

- Jack.

I hate Jack.

- Oh, don't be stupid. No, - He's such a dick.

- Just, just take No, no,

- No.

But it's like the, can I tell you why?

Married him? You listen to me.

- Okay. Okay. I'll listen to,

- You know how Jack wants to be like Mr.

Music man, and like being the music.

- Do you know when Jack wants, - You know how Jack wants

to be in the music business

and like, do what mom does eventually someday

- I'm with you.

- And he's been working at Epic and whatever.

- Yeah. And - The first band that he like helped,

helped whatever I found.

But he didn't give me

or my friends who found them any

credit for it. Blah, blah, blah, blah,

- Blah.

So what, what do you want me to do?

- No, but listen. Right. - You, you can't work it out.

Ignore it. What, what, what? What can you do about it?

What do you want me to do about it?

Well, you know, you should do kill. I'm not being sarcastic.

You should try and get your own thing going.

- I, I don't want my own thing going.

I would just really appreciate some fucking credit.

- No, it's not. Dad. I, well then Kelly,

what the fuck do you want me to do, Kelly?

So what do you, do you want me to do?

You want me to go and say something to him?

What do you want me to do? Kelly?

Sit I tell you about I'm not

doing anything that I wouldn't do.

I do it myself.

Help bla What,

- What did you say?

I, if I wanted to do something, I do it myself.

It's, I something about not wanting to.

- I'll - Do it. I know you're saying I don't wanna do my

own thing, but I want, I just want some credit. But

- Then I couldn't hear what she shouted after that.

Yeah. I didn't hear it clearly. Come. Yeah.

- Yeah. Let's, let's do it. That's an instant replay.

- Well then Kelly, what the fuck do you want me

to do, Kelly?

Well, what do you want me to do?

You want me to go and say something to him?

What do you want me to do? Kelly said that

- I'm telling you about, I'm - Not doing anything.

I do myself. Help. You're not even helping.

Oh, it's your fault now. It's

- Your fault.

- Wobbler. Definite wobbler. - Definite wobbler.

- Ozzy, your kids have a knack for coming to you

with problems when you're doing art in a quiet space.

- It's just all the time. Still to

- This day.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Ozzy will be trying to get like half an hour to himself

and just do his little thing.

And then there's always something.

- Kelly, were you jealous of me?

- I think I might have been.

Oh, this is another breakthrough.

- Totally break. I, I think - I might have been.

I mean, but why the beha? I don't know.

I'm because you, like, I'm still trying to remember

all of this. Yeah.

- It sounds - Like you're, I like, Jack, if this

wasn't being replayed for me right now,

I would have no recollection of it.

- Mm, no. It sounds like there had been more

coverage about you.

Well, that was the first thing you brought up.

- Mm. - That all these stories are coming out

about my brother.

- It's all right. Kelly. Kelly laughed

me pretty quick to me.

- She'll come to me with a problem. Tell me a problem then.

What, what am I supposed to do? Then? The end of it.

Why end up getting yelled at?

Because I mean, don't fix the problem

- Because she doesn't want solutions.

She just wants you to listen. Just wants to

- Vent.

- But you're willing to help. - But you, you know what

- I love.

- So I'll help you. You help me help you.

- The best part of this clip is that it starts with,

Kelly just sat there thinking, and she's just thinking.

And she gets up and turns, looks back at Dad

and goes, I hate Jack.

- Yeah. - So you must have been sat there thinking

all these horrible things about

- Me. Yeah.

- And it just concluded with, oh, I hate Jack.

- Well, it's perfect 'cause Ozzy didn't hear you at first,

and so you say it again very comfortably.

Oh, I hate Jack. You gave me. Yeah.

- Wow. - Jack, do you confirm

or deny that you stole the band?

- No. Delusion. I didn't. I didn't.

- From Kelly, - I didn't steal it.

Kelly's friend went to see them

and was like, Hey, you gotta hear this demo

played me this demo.

I was like, that's awesome. I want to go see him.

And we went and they were good. And, yeah.

- You said that earlier, in an earlier

episode. You said that.

- Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I was talking about it like,

I think it was like episode one or two of this.

- Did you later give her any credit?

- Yeah, I think I, I never, maybe back then I was like,

I'm not saying shit, but I, I never,

'cause it was always, it was Kelly's, what was her name?

She, we had these two blonde friends. I think one was,

- Yeah.

What it was Daniella and Jenny.

- Yes. Yes. - Do you have any memory of

- How you responded to this fight?

Jack?

- I, I'm guessing it wasn't good.

- Who knows? - Oh boy.

- They never ended. Well, - No, no. Let's see it.

- She just started going off of me saying,

just making up shit.

Like she, she found delusion and all this stuff. I'm like,

- Ozzy, let me tell you something.

I can't sort it out. Please leave each other alone.

Deaf each other. It's not each other.

I tell well just leave each other alone. Fucking left

- Dog ball, - Man.

- Oh, what a weird place to put the dog ball

- Dogs, man.

Fucking like

- Under the,

- And I've gotta spend hundreds

of thousand dollars on these place.

I can't even get a fucking mark.

- I love that you're doing this while you're wearing

leather pants.

- Oh

- Yeah. Go this way.

- Is Lou back this - Way?

- Oh, he's had his hair shaped. How did that break the cat?

Oh yeah.

- I'm sick to death of living in a fucking dump.

Everybody needs a break from time to time.

Stack of cash on the floor. 65 days every minute of the day.

And you just want some quiet for yourself sometime.

Today's the day.

- Oh, you guys home? Or are you guys leaving?

- He's leaving. - Leaving up by himself.

He was so sweet and so kind and nice.

Mom. Always c mom always

- Cries when she has to leave Dad

- Loving even.

I just felt so bad that he had to go out there

and finish this tour and I wanted him to stay.

- Hello, it's Kelly. Hi Daddy.

Hi Danny. How you doing?

- Alright. I just go ahead. It cold.

It's, it's colder than a witch's.

- Yeah, it's, - It's colder than a witch is tick. It's not

- Beyond cold.

So you had to go all the way into the bathroom

to get loan time, Ozzy?

- Yes I did. - Yeah.

- It's - Like a

- So you deny all, all allegations of stealing delusion.

- Yes. I stand by my word. I did not steal them.

I was gifted them from Kelly's friend.

- I think after this show

as maybe Delusional, get back together again.

Oh, that'd be nice. And do a reunion.

- Jason actually went on to,

he's a pretty successful producer and songwriter.

Like, I think he actually was

nominated for a Grammy and stuff.

So he's, he went on to have

- Yeah.

- A career. - Yeah. Sharon, how often was your advice just

to leave each other alone until it blows over?

- It's always say, just leave each other alone.

Leave each other alone. Just, that's

- It.

But you were kind of inseparable

for a lot of that time, right?

So you'd fight, go away, come back.

Yeah, we still together. There was

- Just too much, much time.

There was just too much time spent together.

And it was just too, I mean we were only, we were only like

370 days apart age wise or something like that.

So we're, it was like we were just

too, too much time together. But

- They were always close as little babies.

They were very close. Yeah.

It was always Kelly and Jack together.

- Ozzy. I like how often your solution to something

that's pissing you off is just to throw it

outside the door. Just toss it

- Outside. Yeah. Open the door.

- Well, it sounds like you were really needing some alone

time because this is one tour that Ozzy decides

to do by himself.

- Hmm. Well that was a lot of drama.

- Yes. So he's decide. You went out on tour by yourself?

No family. It didn't last long.

You do go meet him and surprise him on tour.

So you don't know they're there right now. Ozzy,

- Where's the chocolate?

- I love that house in the same hotel.

- Love the chocolate. I was having withdrawals on the plane.

- We are here in Chicago

'cause it's our dad's birthday on Monday.

What am I? And told us basically the fuck off

and didn't want us coming, but we're surprising him.

What am I doing? If he finds out we're here

before his birthday, he's gonna go

- Mental.

What are you doing Jack? He hanging out in the background.

Shut up. Sit down. Are you settled in? Okay. Hanging out.

Out in the background. In the background.

And he's pissed off with me. He's not talking to me.

So if he sees me before his birthday and

before there's kind of like an audience around to save me,

he'll be pissed off that we are here.

Why? Why is he pissed at you though?

- I still have those boots. - Yeah.

- Why? Because he says he spend too much money on it.

- Yeah. So we are just gonna have a nice low key dinner.

Kelly. What? I dropped my collar down the toilet.

My Valentino mink stole. Fell down the toilet.

- Well you what? It should have fallen down the

fucking toilet.

You should never find mink.

- Good evening. - I got angry. I am.

- Oh, I love that you supported the animals then.

- Hey. Yeah. - This smells like an old

crutch now. It's been

- Down the toilet. Smell it.

- No. Fuck you.

Disgusting.

- You said both - Of you

- Fucking garlic.

What are you doing? Turning my teeth is most ferocious.

Toothbrusher you'll ever fucking, because

- It'll still make me throw up.

No, I'm not kidding. I'm serious.

- You'll never meet anybody

that brushes their teeth more ferociously than my mom.

You should see the mirror after she's done.

It is like covered in like watermarks toothpaste.

And you love a girl.

I've never seen somebody more violently brush their teeth.

- And then I have to, to scrape my tongue.

- Yes. Then I - Do all the mask.

- I do the tongue thing too. But like the, it is just, it's

so intense watching my mom brush her teeth.

She's very thorough.

- It's an - Operation.

- It's no, it's like you're jackhammering the sidewalk.

- Sharon, did you really feel like you might get in trouble

if Ozzy found out you were there?

- Yeah. Because I mean, it's his work.

And when he would say like, I don't want you guys here.

I need peace. And then you don't do that.

It's kind of like you really like, you know.

- But going out alone on your birthday,

that's just too much to ask.

- Yeah. - You guys couldn't stay home?

- No, we couldn't. - No.

I've, I've been having this fight with my boyfriend

that when I love how you smell the mink.

'cause you're like, this is disgusting

smell and you won't smell it.

Mm. I feel like my, my sisters will always smell it. Yeah.

You can be like, this tastes disgusting. Dry it.

We all men just say no.

- Yeah. - But it's like we're trying

to commiserate. You have to smell it.

- You have to like join in. Yeah.

Join in on the the grossness.

- Yes. Yeah. And at first you say no

and then you're like, actually let me smell it.

Yeah. It's really cute.

And you're like, you guys are both disgusting.

- Yes, that's correct. If somebody

- Says this smells like shit, smell it.

I will always smell it.

- Yeah. - Why? I know. Well

- We did yesterday with those pants

that you said smell of fish.

Fish. So we had to smell them. Yeah. Over and over what the

- It's very normal to me.

Yeah. Yeah. All the women in my family will smell the men.

They won't smell. I don't know. It's a mystery

- I think.

'cause women just don't wanna smell bad,

so you have to check it out.

- It's just like a teamwork thing, you know?

- Is it, - If you had to go

through this, I'll go through it too.

- Yeah. I'll suffer with you. It's

- Like, it's trauma bonding.

I love this next scene Ozzy,

because we've seen so many big like media appearances,

Conan and TRL and all this stuff.

But then you also had to do local radio,

which is Hell

- Yes.

- I do it sometimes. It's never good.

So we're gonna check in with a very,

very North Dakota couple of guys.

- Ozzy sitting here with us.

Talk about a kick butt show here at the Big Al today.

I was just gonna ask you

how you feeling? How's your leg doing?

- Well, I'm not one of these guy guys that can sit

around getting better, you know?

And when, when? As soon as I've had like two weeks at home,

I've gotta get back on the road, you know?

- Gotta rock and roll. You bet. What's

- Up Barr?

- What would you do if you got Storm stayed in Grand Forks

for another three days?

- Well, it, it's, it's a, I mean I,

everybody goes on about the cold and you go to the cold.

It's at the end of the world. You, you know,

you know I'd rather be heard than in Afghanistan right now.

- There's a lot of Afghanistan jokes in

season one. 'cause it was going, I know

- On at the time.

I love the radio guy's notes to himself. Oh my God.

I know you Questions. There was

- Just two questions on a little piece of paper.

- Oh, that crazy - Accent. Like the writing.

Big writing. Yeah. How

- Are you feeling?

- He was like a Chris Farley character. Yeah. What was that?

- That I think you were - In South Dakota.

- South Dakota. North Dakota. - Well we're back in Chicago

and I love how much you guys love occasions

and buying each other gifts.

It's so adorable. So we're gonna see guys, funny guys.

I got really excited today

'cause I just want my daily gift. Did he get it yet?

- No, not yet.

- Did you know that you had a surprise

gift coming from Kelly?

- No. - Are your kids good gift givers?

- Yes. - Yeah. It seems that way.

We're gonna see you guys prepping to surprise Ozzy

for his birthday on tour.

- Hey Jack. Come on. Shut up. I'm writing his fucking card.

That's nice. We keep it on the phone talking about fucking

car rails for the last 20 minutes.

Break downstairs. We have to meet up.

Jake, you seriously have some anger

management control problems? They'll

- Give us some fo in the restaurant.

Get there early, Jackie. They'll give it as there.

- Here's your god damn template. Oh yes. Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much. Doing That's great doing.

Jack likes to wrap presents in the Do

- I still do?

- You do have to it. Jack.

Happy birthday. Dad. You've got a boat.

Oh, you've gotta put it on there.

- Done. See that? - That's very

- Nice. Nice.

- And it looks festive. - And you still wrap Gibson foil.

Yeah. No, I mean, so me and Jack do it with each other.

- Yeah, Kelly. Kelly will do it for me as like a joke.

But like I, I do it occasionally. Do you? Yeah.

- On - Paper or

- Yeah.

- Foil. Yeah. I keep it real. A paper

- Bag.

Yeah. Do you have a guess what DVDs you got?

- I saw there was a Pink Floyd one I think I

- Saw. Yeah. On top.

- Yeah. Yeah. I don't - You don't remember the others?

- No. - So at this point you're still not sure if he's

gonna be upset or excited to see you.

Do you remember how it went?

- Probably it went well. Yeah, - It goes well.

- Yeah. I think if I'd have turned up on my

own, I'd have been in trouble.

- I just saw your birthday list. That's

- Back to back shows.

- That's why you share it with Andy Williams. Oh great.

Andy Williams. Fuck me Rich.

- Because I know he's gonna be What the fuck you doing?

And Big Dave Roberts. Bobby.

Oh, Bobby

what?

- Kelly's still - Hiding. Oh,

we've been hiding from you all day.

- Where's the babies?

- I don't - Remember this. You today

- You don't.

No memory of this. Oh really? We're like two

- Poles below - You.

Okay. To the

- Prince of darkness. Ozzie

- The prince of di, prince of dying.

This poop skirt. This is the new sign. Dad.

I didn't want to come to, I was trying

to get outta, I

- Wanna where these pictures went.

Happy,

- Happy birthday.

Thank you. I have no

memory of this at all.

- Meal Meal, man.

You see the note?

One miserable,

- Happy birthday.

Yeah. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday

- To you.

That because Ozzy's tour manager

who was also his very close friend.

- Oh, - He's no longer with us.

And so you see that and it just brings it all back.

It does, doesn't it?

- I'm sure that's the man standing next to you and

- You're blood out the ship.

Yeah. Yeah. And he, he's such

- A good guy.

- His kids were basically brought up with our kid.

- Such a good guy. - I'm really good friends

with his youngest son to this day.

And like, we'll text each other at least every week.

Do you remember this party? Do I I do remember this party.

- Yeah. - I, I, I forgot about the dog,

but I, what did we do

with that dog? Yeah, where did that dog

- Come from?

We had it Zach Ozzy's guitar player.

Zach Wild bought it for him

and his wife Barbara Ann bought it for Ozzy

for his birthday.

But it was a Rottweiler

and it didn't get on with our little dogs.

Yeah. Because they're very dominant

and we had to give it them back

because it was just too violent. It would've killed the

- Dogs.

Aw. But you were just traveling

with this puppy? Yeah, it was gorgeous.

- Aw. A beautiful dog. Just magnificent.

But they're great with other rottweilers.

Yes, but not other breeds.

- Do you know what birthday this was?

- This would've been his, this was the end of 2001.

So this would've been his, let's see, 48 or 49.

- 51, 52, 53.

Did you ever get it talking to about the surprise

or It was all good.

It was good. Yeah. Good.

- It was all good. - You seem very happy to see them.

- Yeah. - Even though you wanted to go by yourself.

- Do you remember that birthday?

- No. Yep. Yeah, with the dog?

- Yeah. I have no memory of that. I don't even remember.

I don't know why. I don't remember being in Chicago.

I don't remember the do I don't remember

that dinner. Nothing.

- And do you know what happened to that camera?

Do you have those photos? That would be amazing.

- I actually found that camera recently

- At Welders.

- No, no, no, no. I found it in my storage.

- Really? - Yeah. I just don't know

where the pictures went from it.

'cause I think, I think I put them on an old laptop,

which is long gone pre-cloud, you know?

Yeah. So it's like if you didn't transfer

everything, it was gone.

- Yeah. Did anyone ha, was there a time, any

of you got a surprise?

You were pissed off about surprise parties?

Surprise appearance?

- Oh, we, we sprung stings on other people.

Taylor Stripper grandma. So

- Yeah, there was a few, there was a few

strippers that we got for people. Yes. Colin New

- One time. Oh God.

- And your - Aussie Aussie's business manager accountant.

It was his birthday

and yes, we got him a very unattractive stripper that he was

at his local restaurant where he was holding it. The

- Indian restaurant?

- Yeah. He was his favorite restaurant and he was not happy.

- Well, because you guys have a tendency to be like,

we're gonna get you a stripper,

but it's gonna be the most fucked up person.

- Ugly, - Terrible. Like fell off the fucking ugly tree

and no wonder people get pissed off.

It's not like you got

Marilyn Monroe to fucking strip for him.

- Ozzy, did you choose ugly strippers on purpose?

- No, I never picked them. Sharon would get them

- Nice. Like a pimp?

- Yeah, like a fucking mean pimp. Like a

- Cop - Blocking pimp. Yeah.

- It was like Ozzy when a stripper for my birthday.

Okay darling, I'll get you a stripper.

And I would purposely go to the Fugly agency to say

what is the

most ridiculous looking stripper you have to send over?

And I say, well, I got you what you wanted.

- Well, ugly strippers need work too. Exactly.

Need something. And on that note, happy belated birthday on.