Original subtitles

- Hello Osborn.

Hello, Amy. How's everyone feeling today? Really good. Good.

Hanging in there. Good. Okay.

Well we're, we're so deep in now episode six.

We're starting off hot, Kelly with some

of your clumsy ways. Oh no.

- Oh boy. That, that hasn't changed.

So I wonder what we're gonna see. Which one? The clumsiness?

Yeah, let's look

- Trouble in paradise.

I have no recollection of this ever.

- Meina, were you there when she fell down the hole?

No, but Jack was, and I was just watching.

You're gonna, have they gonna put that

- Leg in cast tomorrow?

No, they're not. No, I was just about to go reach to sit,

shake my hands up when I stepped up on the curb.

And that was just whole, it was the exact size

of my foot, like that big.

And my foot just went punk right in it. And I fell.

Oh, I was just like, your foot crack in.

No, that was in the manhole. This was a different one.

- That was a, - I always trip.

- I feel like you could have sued the city for that.

- The manhole thing. Yeah. - Yeah.

Well, just a hole in the sidewalk like that.

- You need to knock out.

- Oh, count.

- Have you seen that clip since it happened?

- No. - I like how they shut it over and I know it.

It's so painful.

- Well, I just fall over all the time. I still do.

I think, what is it, dyspraxia, where you are like accident.

- You love a good, you love a good name for a problem.

- I feel like it could be that though.

Because I go on, I fall over all the time.

- Or general clumsiness. What happened from that fall?

Did you end up in a cast?

- I have no idea. I - Can't remember. I think you did.

- I think you did. Yeah. Yeah, - I think you did. That's

- The cast was think that's, I think they just showed this

episode out of order.

And I think that's why you were walking

around in a boot in the previous episode.

Because there is a lot of like jumping through

- Time.

No, I'm telling you though, Jack, there was the manhole

that I fell down, which was at a different time as that.

As that little, that on the pavement,

a little pavement thing that happened.

That was a different time.

- So, but you, you kind of like your dad

because dad always brushes up.

Like if he's going through a doorway, he kind of miss,

- I don't - Measures it.

And you do the same. I

- Don't know how I look at a space

and I think I can just walk through that, but I can't.

I knock off it like a bumper car.

- And you get that from - Dad?

- Yeah. Yeah. They're both clumsy.

Always hurting themselves. Always.

You know, if there's something in the room, like, you know

how you go in a room and you scan the room kind of.

Yeah. But you are not aware awareness. You actually are.

Yeah. And they don't have that.

They walk in

and there maybe a foot stall here,

you know, they'll fall over it.

- Right. Yeah. And I don't know if you caught it,

but in the second chunk, you're begging her not

to go on tour with Ozzy because Jack gets too crazy.

Is that what I said?

When you're left alone, can we watch that again? Yeah.

- All righty. - Sides of my foot.

Like that big and my foot went punk right in it. And

- I fell forward - On it

and I was just like going to crack head.

Why do I always have to fall?

I always trip and fall smack on my face, see that I fall up.

It sucks when you're both gone.

'cause there's no one to mediate.

Jackson who did it in the red,

used to beat the shit out me.

- I feel like, I think we'll find

as this progresses the times

where anyone is getting the shit beaten out of.

It's you repeatedly, repeatedly hitting me in the face. Mm.

- So, - Mm.

- We'll see about that. There's a lot

of violence both ways for sure.

But was he extra crazy when you were left alone? Yeah.

- Yeah. - I remember that back

- Then. Jack was,

- Yeah.

- I was like wild. Yeah,

- Wild.

And I didn't like it when mom and dad left

- Because he just, when the cats away, the mice will play.

- He just did whatever he wanted.

- Right. Ozzy, did you get a lot

of phone calls about Jack when you were on the road?

- No. I used to. I used to. You got monitor the calls,

- But you would always like,

don't make me get your father on the phone.

That was always, that was always the threat.

- Yeah. - I'll get your father, don't,

don't make me do that.

- So you took the calls,

but once it was very serious,

then you would tell Ozzy? Yeah.

- Yeah. - Because as much as I would try,

it would take Ozzy coming in at the end of the day

to say, just stop.

'cause they, you know, oh it's mom again.

But when Ozzy would come in, when it was really too much.

- It's funny 'cause it, my, my kids kind

of do that at my house.

Like I'm always having to be the one that's like,

if I come in and drop a hammer, they're like, oh shit.

- Yeah. Yeah. Do your kids have a nanny

- That they've had - A long time?

- We do. We do have, she actually just started

working for me.

She's a retired FBI agent.

- And I said to Joe, think he's the only person in the world

that would get a fucking nanny that is a retired FBI agent.

I'm like, he's, it's awesome. Any secrets to share?

- You know, no, I, I, I haven't asked.

I haven't asked. No, she's, yeah,

- She's great.

You respect the mystery of it.

- I, well, I do. And it's also like, you know, less,

maybe knowing less is better.

- Well, for some reason you still had a nanny at 16.

- I did. Yeah. Yeah, I did

because I, I couldn't, I didn't drive, so I had

to have someone like drive me places.

- Yeah. Yeah. So, so she's more of a driver for you?

- Well, look, Melinda, she would, I mean, what else?

She's not like, she was putting me to bed with a fucking,

you know, a bottle warm milk at night.

- No. Let's see. I mean, let's see what she was doing.

'cause

- Went through, oh no.

We put her through hell. And it makes me feel

so bad when I watch this

and I realized like how young Melinda was at that

- Time. Yeah.

- Because we are older than now than she

was when she was our nanny.

- She was only 23 or 24

- And we were insane kids.

Like, I would not want to have had to be in charge

of looking after our

- Child.

She fucking loved it though. And she, Melinda still does.

That's why she still works for us.

- She does seem to be laughing through a lot of it.

- She is. Yeah. She was always laughing.

- She's, but I will say like, she, she's one

of the best things that ever happened to our family.

Aw. And when I go back

and I see this, it does make me super emotional

because we've been with her for so long,

so long. She's like,

- She's now my nanny.

- Yeah. - Literally. And it's, it's just weird.

'cause now she has three children Right.

And she has two girls and a boy.

- But who are all adults now, basically.

- Yes. Yeah. Pretty much.

No, she's still got little Mimi and, but Scarlet and,

and Luke Lukey are really grown up now. Yeah.

- So, Jack, do you feel bad about some of this footage,

the way you talked to Melinda? Well,

- I, I think I probably will feel bad.

I haven't seen it. Yes. By that question is letting me know.

I probably should feel bad. Okay. Okay. Let's

- Make Jack feel bad - For a sec. Yeah. We

- Go socks.

Jack, let's go. Let's go Put my office check.

You're not ready yet. Come on.

It's a barbecue chair and I'll give you an OJ

and some toast in the car.

- When you say nanny to Melinda,

she actually thinks whack my ass

- Bed. Oh, Lola.

- Lola. - Morning.

- When I wake up, I'm 16 and six days. Come on. Really?

- Please. You can play it when you get home.

You play all day. Please come on. Oh. So big 16, please.

We have the video games have not

- Changed.

Actually, I, I have, I've, I I no longer play video games.

Really? Yeah. Gave it up

- 40 minutes late for school already.

Just call them and let them know that you

were any late, but so sad.

Come on. Alright. Good on you.

Where are you going? School. Shut up. Really?

- Go shut up. You're fired. Jesus. You're fired.

No, Jesus was said. You're fired

- Here.

Get up in the morning.

- You see you at three 15. Bye.

I think it helped that Melinda being Australian. Yeah.

'cause they have very good sense of humor

and like, like English.

Got a very busy lifestyle.

- Yeah. - People have a very busy

- Lifestyle.

- That's probably day. - Look at Lola.

- Yeah.

- Isn't it crazy how

the generation Z are now going

to on the rocks

and dressing in the chrome hearts hoodies and

- Looking almost - Exactly how you used to dress.

- Yeah. Yeah. Baggy jeans and a, you know, and a chair.

- It's a big holes in your ear loads. No,

- It's, and the necklace.

- Yeah. Yeah. The jelly bracelets. It's all,

- It's all coming back. It's crazy.

- I know. I was, - Well, it all goes in cycles. Yeah.

- I was hip, - I was cool.

- I do like how Melinda gives it back to you. Yeah.

I've had a lot of nanny jobs.

I never said fuck you to the children. That seems fun.

- Yeah. - She says it to you guys a lot.

It spices it up a bit.

- Well, I mean, it got, I will say like, I,

it got fucking crazy at one point as far as like

how shitty I was to Melinda.

Aw. And so I, yeah.

I don't, I don't blame her for, for getting to that place.

- Ozzy, what do you think about Jack getting home at four

30 in the morning?

- Oh, oh, oh, okay. Oh, I had no control.

I was scared of you though.

- When the print of darkness tells you no.

- Yeah. Oh yeah. You do.

You, I, as I recall, there is a, there is a few episodes

where, remember the pocketknife when you wouldn't let me

leave and like you were like adamant that like,

I don't carry a pocket knife.

- I remember that. - Yeah.

- Yeah. Not while also doing drugs.

- Yes. That's very stupid. I had, I had a t-shirt.

I was, it, it's a later episode,

but I have a t-shirt that has like cocaine on it

and I have a knife and you're like yelling at me.

- Yeah. Pick one. Basically.

What was that green screen dancing?

- I, - It's very Six flags. It's very funny.

- I think it was just like them trying to pee don't

- Know.

Six Flags. I know exactly what you go in those

boots and like Yeah.

That was MTV trying to spice it up a

- Bit.

Yeah. They would throw, they would throw in some curve

balls every now and then.

- It's kind of embarrassing.

- It's very just a, a bit's hilarious. Yeah.

Amy, if you haven't been able to tell,

this whole experience is embarrassing.

- I'm having a great time.

So that night out, were you scouting bands

or that was just a typical night?

- That was like a Wednesday. - We went out like night.

- It was terrible. Like I, the notion now, like I'm,

I maybe go out twice a year now.

Three times a year. Yeah. Like out past like 10 or 11,

- Like tonight I've been asked to go to an event

and I'm, it's literally like plaguing me in my head.

Should I, should I, should I shouldn't I, should I?

Are you gonna go? Honestly, I don't know

because I hate leaving my baby

and I hate being out past

8:00 PM Past eight. Yes.

- Well, you guys went out enough for a lifetime.

- Sensely. I did it. I did it.

I went out every night until like

four in the morning. I think they did.

- You did it at the time that it

- Was still - Magical.

And also it was somewhat not

as crazy as it is now.

And you went out at the right time.

And I think that at your age now,

you are doing the right thing too.

- Yeah. As I said, I, I peaked.

- Nobody wants a mom that still goes out every night.

- I peaked at 16. Trust me.

- That's how you end up. Why do you say that?

I don't think you peaked at 16.

I think you look better now than you looked at.

- I mean, look. Mean I don't know about looks,

but you know, kind of my, my output in life definitely,

definitely peaked at 16.

- What makes you say that? I don't know.

- I just, I feel like I had so much more fun back then

- In your Army outfits.

- Yeah. - I do think that you were a lot more

- Like bullshit.

- Oh yeah. I think I, I, I had

- That came with the age.

It was everybody at 16 that was getting a bit

of attention in their life.

And you know, this town is full of kids like that. Yeah.

And so you were behaving like a typical 16-year-old

with some success

- With behaves.

I was saying not to like make this into like a downer,

but I was saying, I, I was saying this to my mom last night.

Like, the thing that's really jumps out

to me about the watching these episodes is

how much we all used to laugh.

- Yeah. - Like, life was so much simpler.

And we, I don't know. That's kind of my takeaway.

Like, we were always, it seemed like we were always laughing

and like, fucking around and like having fun.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Well I've witnessed you guys laughing together a lot.

Just watching it back. It's, which is nice.

- Yeah. It was, it was so much fun. Day after day after day.

And especially at those ages for you.

It was so much fun for me.

Kind of like seeing history repeating again,

what I did they were doing.

- And - It was just like, as I say, oh,

I've been there, I've done this.

And now you are doing it in the same places, you know,

at the same age. Right. And

- Right.

Well, let's see a little bit of

what you might have been doing out so late that night.

- Oh - No. It might be time to call Ozzy.

- Oh, I know what this clip is.

- Oh no. - Yeah. This is dark.

- Well, let's see what you might've been doing until

that hour of the morning.

- Okay. - And how Melinda felt about it. Poor

- Melinda's bitch. And I know what this is

- Forward.

So I was vomiting with fear.

The thing is, is that I was worried sick Ozzy,

that he was fucking dead in the middle of Sunset Boulevard.

What? Usually we get along very well

and he's very good and respectful.

But it's just that he's got caught doing something wrong.

And he's pissed off at me. 'cause I told Sharon,

- He smokes a bong.

You must tell me because he, he smokes a bong.

You must talk, but the person's parents are not in town.

And it's up to your discretion. It's your responsibility.

- Okay. Ozzy pull. Melinda right back on. Melinda.

Even her hair looks like she's at the end of her rope.

She's just frantic.

- Yeah. - Were you smoking the bong,

- Jack? It was much worse. Worse. Where

- Did she catch you?

- No, I just, I came home at like 4, 4 30 in the morning.

- Where were you? Somebody's house?

- No, no. It was, - That was probably on the rocks lock in.

- No, it wasn't.

It wasn't on the I'd Started it on the rocks

and ended up at the Roosevelt Hotel.

There was just a a just a lot of

- A gathering.

- It is a gathering. Yeah. A gathering of

- A peace - Party.

Lesser, we'll call 'em lesser companions.

- Family sex party. You - Mean lesser companions

with extracurricular activities. So, we'll

- Just a love in Peace party.

- Sure. - You heard about the next trip?

- No, it wasn't. No, no.

It wasn't nearly as dynamic as that.

It was basically just like in a hotel room

doing a lot of drugs.

- Right. Oh, so then you weren't, if you just got in trouble

for weed, you're like, perfect.

- Yeah. I was like, - That's all I was doing.

- Yeah. - How did you get home? Do you remember?

- I think I just got a cab home.

- Okay. - Rec rehabbed everywhere back then.

- Yeah. - There was no Uber, there was no,

there was no anything like that. Like

- Beverly Hills cab.

- You took Beverly - Hills taxi everywhere.

- No. - Ozzy. Would you have given Melinda permission

to punish him in any way she saw fit?

No. Well, let's join Ozzy back on the road.

- Yes. - While you're causing trouble at

- All.

Probably more fun.

- Hi dude. - Hey,

- Why don't you just do the fucking right things on.

It's, it's, it's a man that can apologize to Wim, the con

- Melinda's bitch.

I can't apologize on the street face,

- Darling.

Whether you like her or whether you don't,

she spend night sleep worrying her fucking self to death.

Whether Melinda's not a bitch being mug stabbed,

shot or fucking arrested.

Just swallow your pride and say, I'm sorry.

It's not, it's no big fucking deal.

She's not gonna get on the roof with a high list out loud.

Hell. And go ladies and gentlemen.

Jack Osborne has just apologized.

- He's pissed off 'cause he thinks

that she's told me about his dope.

So is everyone else.

- I mean, we, we've known about your dog situation

for a lot long time.

You know, don't, don't think I know

what it means when you order a pizza at

fucking 12 o'clock at night.

- O Ozzy, that was your first clue about the pot.

Is all the pizzas showing

- Up?

Yes. I can't remember. Oops.

- Oopsie. Oh, are you gonna apologize to Melinda now?

- Yeah. Yeah.

I think I may have off

because I I, we saw that, I saw that clip

of probably like five or six years ago

- And you made a amazing, and

- I think I was like, I'm really sorry. Yeah.

- Well I love your advice, Ozzy, when you say

that a real man can apologize

'cause it's just like, just say sorry. Yeah,

- Yeah.

It's true. It's very true. It's

- Very Did you - It's very stage advice.

I don't know if I apologized then. Yeah,

- No, I feel like you walked in the house

and just went, sorry. And then like, walked away.

- I mean, if I were to make an apology back then,

that's probably what it would've looked like.

- Are you good at saying sorry, Ozzy?

- Yeah. - Dad's really good at saying, sorry.

I will say that. Like, and he'll say sorry.

Even when he doesn't have to just to make peace again. Yeah.

No, he's, he's really good at saying sorry.

I will say that true Sharon.

- Yeah, he does.

He he would much rather it be peaceful

than not, you know?

- Right. Are you good at it now too, Jack?

- Yeah. - Yeah. I'm much better at it. Oh yeah.

And I don't, yeah, I also don't think I would,

I guess, I guess it ultimately comes down to what I'm,

I supposedly did

- Kelly's disagreeing with her face.

- Are you? I'm not good at saying sorry.

- Oh, here we go. Look at - That face that

I don't think I've heard the word.

Sorry. Come outta your mouth in like 40 years.

- What are you talking about?

I am the most apologetic person ever. I

- Don't - Know,

- I can't live with myself until I say sorry.

But do you say sorry to Jack?

- No, when - I need to. Yes.

I'll be the first one to say sorry out of the two of us.

If there was an apology to be had. Even if it's his fault.

I will say sorry first.

- Is that true Sharon? - See, I don't know

because they have these little things now

where we don't get involved.

- Mm. - So I can't, I can't say, I don't know.

'cause they don't come to me with it.

They'll deal with it on their own. So

- Smart not to take a side.

- Yeah. - Okay. I fucking wish we were

that psychologically safe and like not and had boundaries.

No way. The first thing either one

of us do is pick up the phone and call mom.

- Mm. - And you are right in the middle of it.

So do not lie.

- No, I'm not lying. I stay out of it.

You can each tell me, but I don't say, oh

- No, you don't get involved.

- I know they jack's just call me or Kelly's just call me.

I know. I try and listen

and then it's like, hey, you are on your own.

- Do you ever tell them to apologize to the other one?

- Yes. Sure. If I think they need it. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

I will. But I don't know whether they carried that out.

'cause it's down to them to,

otherwise I'd be falling out with, you know?

- Right. - Each of 'em and I don't wanna get involved.

Yeah, that makes

- Sense.

- Like I tell them I have enough problems of my own.

- Why don't you guys just say sorry, now let's just get it.

Just get it out. Get it. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. - Oh, that was beautiful. Yeah.

Wasn't that hot?

- So much healing. I'm not a therapist. Yeah.

You can tell they're both on the program.

These meaningful

apologies and Hmm.

It's beautiful. I love to see it.

- It just is, it's it's miracles happening right here.

- Yeah. Okay. We'll take the heat off you for a second Uhoh.

And go back to Ozzy

- Girl.

I'm sorry.

- Scatter around. Normal photo shoot. What the fuck?

Does anyone get down there anymore?

- Definitely. We get canceled today

for this photo shoot. What's, what you

- Doing when you're down there? Why?

- Why - They have to

- Work too.

Yeah. Everyone's like overly sensitive about this stuff.

That's what? That's it. The hands. Ozzy the hands

- Sign.

Fucking, it's a good one though.

Love Rob. Oh, that's sad. Mom. Look who it is.

Look, I see

- Mark Weiss.

Aw. The same shirt that you trimmed Ozzy.

Can you tell us about that photographer?

- Photographer from a long time?

- He was 18 when he first started to take pictures.

- Wow. - And he, it was Ozzy's first solo show in New York

that he came to.

And he came up to us

and he was like so young and innocent.

He said, please, can I take pictures at the show?

And I'm like, sure. Sure.

And then he's been around ever since.

And to see him, his career progress and grow.

And then he was like, there were two big rock

and roll photographers at that time.

One was English Ross Hin

and the other one was Mark Weis American.

And they're both still doing it.

And they're both still at the height, you know,

and it's just great to see them mature and now their lives.

That's awesome. Have panned out.

- And I heard you say I love Rob. Oh, Rob's so nice.

- I love Rob. Yeah, we all do. Yeah.

He's a genuinely great, great guy

and a great artist too.

- That's so nice to hear. I love to hear who you guys love

and who you speak ill of.

Yes,

- Of course. We speak ill of

- No openly far.

It, it all just comes out.

Well we haven't checked in with any of the pets, but

- Oh boy.

- Yeah, of course. Let's get back to some cat issues.

Shitting

- Good.

Put in the fucking cat skirt.

- She's supposed to be fat Cross it. Can you will

- Please.

Fuck. At least she's over her herpes. Ozzy What?

Puss has had herpes.

- What? Pus had herpes on her eye.

She did. She didn't.

Did he say you've got keep it elevated.

- She, I I've gotta have a naked lady lying on me

for about the next three weeks.

- How long do you have to wear the boot for?

- Four. It was four weeks.

- Look at the two of you. You could share shoes.

- Oh, dueling - Boots. I forgot about that. You

- Are dueling boots.

- Are you all right Sharon?

- You got a little choked up there?

- No, just like,

I'm just like looking at them both like this

and then it, it brings it all back.

I remember the whole thing now

where they both had it and just, yeah, I

- Don't, I don't really remember

- That time.

Double ces. Yeah.

- How did you do your foot? - I can't remember.

- Do you remember? - No,

I think he did it on stage, didn't he?

- What did you kick? - Did do it.

Did you on stage, did you, like you kick the drum rise

- On something.

Yeah. I feel like kicking the, there was a kicking

of the drum rise or something. What

- Was No.

You are thinking about when we lived in the Palisades

and you kicked the kitchen kitchen door.

- No, - No. That, no, that was because you spread your legs

and then he kicked the wall. Well

- What, - That's spicy.

When, when like dad, like dad was really pissed off

and he was like, I ran.

He went like this and mom went like that.

And then dad kicked the space in the wall.

- Oh, better than me. Yeah.

- Right between your legs. Yeah.

I think there was an injury and then on stage it got worse.

Got worse. Yeah.

There's a particularly big jump where you land on your leg.

- I, yeah. I feel like you jumped off the drum

rise and hurt yourself.

That's what I remember.

- It was never really a drum rise guy. No.

Let's see if we can see. Does it show?

- No, I don't think - So. No. Oh,

- The great mystery.

- Did you ever take a doctor's advice when you had to rest?

- I couldn't because I had to work.

- Yeah. Yeah. I know.

You're like a professional fucking wrestler.

- Broken and still get outta Yeah.

- Really dedicated to the game. Yeah. I love it.

- It's like rocky. Just cut the eye. Just cut the eye.

- Well Kelly, you've been going out quite a bit too.

- Oh boy. - With some illegal help.

- Illegal help. Oh, not a fake license.

Fake Id. Fake. Got a fake id. Yeah. Yeah. Where did

you get those things

- From? In downtown

- La.

Kelly's turning into LA trash. A fake id.

'cause I have to get into all the cool clubs. Good

- Job.

Yeah. Good. She's just called you la Trash. That's fine.

She's a real one. And mine's the fake one. That's fine.

- Kelly - Yout, you gonna get arrested? Hey mom.

- Yeah. - Can I sleep over at Sarah's house tonight?

- No, you cannot. Why?

'cause you are gonna go to that stupid rave

and you're not going, you are not going, Jack. No,

- I'm 16 though.

- I don't care - If you're 26. You're not going.

You're so mean. You are really mean.

You're not going to arrive. You're not going.

I don't care. 26.

- Why a rage? Bad. But go to Oz.

Best isn't Shut up. Lola would let me

- Go.

Lola, why don't be so, oh,

- Wait's.

It was Lola's foot too. Look.

- Oh, Lola. Is she wearing a sock?

- Yeah. I think she hurt her foot. She kept

- Eating her foot.

- So we put a sock on it because Bulldog suffer from like

- Skin, like a eczema. Skin

- Irritation.

Yeah. And she kept look at that face.

So everybody was injured at Gorgeous. She was.

Look at her little pore

- And her chest was so cuddly.

- Where did you get this Id? I feel like what?

With the tattoo and the id. When like where did you get it?

It's always like some guy.

- No, it was some guy. Guy.

Like my friend knew this, of this like service where you had

to go down to,

- It was like six in Alvarado.

- Yeah. Alvarado Ski Skid row. Yeah.

Like the middle of like, I would never go down there today.

And how much did you pay for a hundred dollars?

- That's not bad actually. - I

heard it was a pretty good one.

Jack said it was a good one. It was a good one.

- Really good. - But it didn't seem like you'd had trouble

getting in anywhere you wanted to go. So

- It was a bit of both.

- Sometimes you had to buy, you could buy alcohol.

No, it was just like, get in because I was on

pills, so I didn't drink.

Did anyone ever take it away or not let you in?

- I think, - I can't remember.

- I think maybe you did. I think you showed it.

I feel I have a memory of of you being like going nuts

because someone took your, your fake. IPI

- Did.

I think it was mom that took it away from me

because I gave myself alcohol poisoning.

- Yeah, that probably - Makes sense.

- Yeah, that was, that was a fun night. I remember

- That.

You're so mean. I am so mean. No raves, no fake Id

- That tough.

The alcohol poisoning.

- Do you remember what this rave was, Jack? Why?

- Ah, I don't I really, - Why'd you wanna go so much?

- Yeah, I don't know. I, I don't, I don't really remember.

I wasn't much of a rave I

- Used.

Yeah. It seems like an uncool thing for you to

- Yeah, it wasn't, it wasn't really my scene.

I think I just wanted to go just

to go see what it was all about.

- And do Molly, - I wasn't really a Molly guy.

No, and Molly wasn't. Well it was just ecstasy back

then, but yeah. It was never Oh,

- Just, - It wasn't my vibe.

- Just, just ecstasy. Just ecstasy. No biggie.

- Well, I was scared of ecstasy

because I came, I grew up in the, in the era

where they kept telling you if you did ecstasy, it'll,

- You die.

- You'll die. Your brain will

overheat and you'll have holes.

- You just have to drink a lot of water.

- It's - Not a big deal.

- You cut to Amy.

I pounding water right now. Now don't, like

- Sometimes you get that feeling

where you just wanna stretch outta your skin.

Yeah. And it's horrible. Yeah. That's when you dance. Oh,

- And you just eat, like eat the candy bracelet.

- No, not my thing. These are things I've heard

- You.

Yes. You don't, you know nothing on the internet.

You know nothing of rage, Molly or ecstasy.

- I love the, like this whole episode, you're like,

I'm 16 in six days, I wanna go to a rave.

But you're just drinking like a tall glass of milk. I know.

Like a straight up child. Yeah. Melinda. My milk

- For the rave, my hot chocolate in the morning.

You warm, you warm milk at night.

- I love that. I go, oh, it's not

as if Melinda was bringing me like a warm bottle of milk and

- There she was. There she

- Was.

And she was coming in bringing me a hot

chocolate in the morning. And

- She did.

- Yeah. - Just trying to get your ass up the school.

- Oh God. - Can you imagine your daughter wanting to go

to a Raven in four years?

Three, almost four years.

- I actually could imagine my daughter trying

to go to a Raven in four years.

I actually could. Which one? Pearl?

Yeah, I would just,

you the good the good thing is I think my,

she thinks my wife is cool enough to

where she would be like, you can come with me.

I feel like that that would be, that would be a a,

a plausible scenario.

- And I'm trying to work into being in the position

of being the cool aunt to where they'll be like, I'm going

to a club tonight so that I could be like there

with them at least.

- But Kelly, you don't like going out.

- I know. I don't like going out,

but I would go out on

FaceTime. But I lemme tell you something

- On FaceTime, - If I go to go out with my nieces

and see them have a good time in a club, I, I would go there

and be like, yeah. And keep an eye on

- 'em.

Yeah. Do you know, do you know what I,

I think about the whole thing of going out at, at the age

that you did go out and party.

It's sad when you see people

that never had the chance to do that at a young age

and they start to do it in their late forties and fifties

and they kind of like, that's what's so sad

and you think gets cringe.

Oh, you poor old. So you know you're doing it at this age.

- Like our - Neighbor, wrong time.

- Like our neighbor. I'm - Like the neighbor.

Yeah. Okay. I am offended by

- Some of this, but that's, do you know, do you know?

Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, I do. It's like I do.

Oh no. Well that was exactly it.

No, I don't party anymore, but I was a

- Christian - Teenager. The

- The reason why we brought you here today, start late,

is we want to talk about your partying.

We feel you're too old. We feel you need to pull it back.

- I am. It's all in the past,

but it definitely went on longer than it should have

because of Jesus, you know?

Yeah. 'cause that was my thing as a teenager, was Jesus.

- Yeah. Vacation. Oh, - I'm sure that

- Pray vacation Bible - School.

I'm for you too at some point. Oh really?

Yeah. You're welcome.

- Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah.

I used to, I used to hear

that a lot people would come up and say that

- I still have that.

- Yeah. - Oh, I sure. But you were in our present night

and like, I'm

- Like, thank you.

- Ozzy used to get that all the time.

- Of course. Oh yeah. Well my pastors thought you were the

actual demon from hell.

- They used - To like the antichrist.

- They used to send him bibles.

I mean they were coming in by, you know, the dozen.

- Do you remember at one point, do you remember that time we

were in Hawaii at the hotel

and that fucking guy came up to you.

- I remember this,

- We, we were at this hotel in ho in really

nice hotel in Hawaii.

No, not when we were, not when were filming. No.

But we were in this, in this hotel and we were checking out

and we were getting ready to, you know, we just,

dad was just at the concierge

or the front desk paying the bill.

And this guy kind of, I saw this guy just kind

of milling back and forth.

And I would always just be like, okay,

that person's gonna ask for a picture or whatever.

But he was at this nice hotel with us in a nice,

he wasn't like a freakish dude

and he just walked right up to you

and was like, started like going off about you need

to accept Jesus into your heart and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

And you just looked at him and said, why don't you

just fuck off?

And then all then all like the hotel staff came out

and they were like, oh, we're so sorry. We're so sorry.

- You need to accept Jesus into your heart. You're crazy.

- Well you're a nice Catholic boy.

No, Sharon, did you get to the point

with the going out where you were like, bring people here.

At least it'll be under my roof.

- We did that a lot. Yeah, we did that a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

- Ozzy were the weekends crazy with

so many people partying at the house.

- Used to - Get crazy. Yeah.

- Yeah. And I, I can remember,

do you remember when the kids first left the house

and suddenly the house was like quiet,

the phone wasn't ringing for them,

the doorbell wasn't going.

And then suddenly you go, this is

so strange when your kids move out, everything, you know,

their life just changes from night to day.

And it's like, oh my lord, what do we do now?

- Yeah, you missed it a little bit.

We may have moved out, but we are

literally still here every day.

Aw, I love that. The,

- The, I think something that I kind

of reflect on very weirdly is like, I moved out.

I was mo I I didn't move out.

I was moved out because they sold the house while I was,

I was doing a, a production where I was like traveling

around the world and I left in like February.

And then when I came back in August, they'd sold the house

and moved and I was traveling.

I dunno where I was over the phone.

And like someone that worked for us was like, oh,

we found this house for you if you want it.

And like showed me pictures and I was like, great. Buy it.

And I, and I came back to like the house gone

and it was the weirdest thing.

- You loved your house. - Oh my god.

My, my house was amazing. I the best, best house.

But, but yeah, it was weird to just think,

oh, I'll be back here.

- Yeah. - When I come back from this trip

and then never go back to the house again.

- Right, right. That is tough. - Yeah.

- Well there was one point Sharon,

where you both wished the house had been quiet.

- Oh - Boy. Where

- You been to last night?

- I slipped over Jody's house. Did

- You have any gun?

- No I didn't. Why - You did lie. Second shit. No I didn't.

You smoking that boy that didn't.

Smoking the evil bun.

- Smoking the devil. What have you got planned for tonight?

The devil's lettuce. I dunno what? I don't

- Know.

- Yes you do. I don't know.

- Are you coming home? Oh, you're not coming home?

That's crazy days

- To crack too. In a dark alleyway.

- My house is like a revolving door, like the

after hours fucking nightclub.

I'd like that to stop 'cause I'm lying in bed

and there's pinball machines wrapped

until five. Who's

- That on the sofa?

Oh wait, what was his name?

He, he worked with, he did,

he did like talent scouting as well.

I forget his name. Ohla.

- Oh. And the guy in the red tra

- Again.

Yeah. Yeah. That's Jason.

- He was in that band. - Yeah. Oh

- God.

- God. - What I sorry.

So far

- Down.

I'm gonna smack your bottom.

We have to try and talk to them.

It's like one continual party

- Where the games are over.

- You - Can't, it's not a fucking never ending party

because it doesn't work that way. Oh

- Boy.

See I did most of my partying outside of the house,

whereas Jack brought it all home.

- Yeah, that's probably accurate.

- Well, so you could still hang out and party

but not take responsibility for who was there.

Exactly. I didn't wanna bring any of the madness

- Back there.

Well, there was something. You were, you were,

you were there because, well, Carly popped him.

So you must have been in the house somewhere.

- Yeah, but I still didn't partake in in

- The - Bringing back tons of people the

- Way you did.

No, no. You would, you know, you didn't do that.

It got it, got it.

Particularly got ramped up though when Rob moved

into the guest house.

- Yeah. - And like that turn,

that was like a 24 hour a day.

It was, yeah. Yeah, it was, it was corrosive.

- And can you clarify this word

for weed that I've never heard

- Was what? Ganja

- Wga. Wonga

- Wonga - Is? Yeah. I don't know where. I dunno

- If that's English or It comes from Jamaica.

- Wonga. Wonga we used to. Huh?

A pea and I used to call it, that's what you

and Pete used to call it.

Yeah. Were you

- Smoking the wonga?

- I was, I was definitely. Yeah.

Me and the devil's lettuce were tight.

- So Michael had the night shift. Right.

But then how did he know who to let in?

He just like, he just, oh, you're anyone in Michael? Was

- Anyone in, he was like, he was like security adjacent.

- Right. - He wasn't really security,

- But he was so funny.

- He was, he was very nice.

And he was trustworthy sort of

- Ish.

- Ish. Wow. I mean he, he would be asleep a lot of the time.

- Mm. Sharon, did you ever consider just changing

the locks or something?

- We couldn't because the crew had access in and out

because the crew room was in our garage.

So they would just go. And actually

- At this point it was in the office.

They were filming 24 7 in the laundry room downstairs.

- Oh. 24 7. It was 24 7. They were filming us. Yeah.

So there was always people in and out. So.

Well you can see we should have just put a neon

sign outside club.

You know, we could come in too. Pretty much. Club

- Is open.

Well at least we didn't have you build a club in our house.

Like someone we know.

Who's that didn't in,

wasn't it in Nancy Davis's old house? It was Club Davis.

- Yes. - Do you remember that?

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They had a full nightclub in that house,

- Which is kind of smart when you think about it.

- Yeah. We, yeah. I mean, Ozzy,

we basically did the guest house was a fucking nightclub.

- Oh, was it? Was this Oh, only on the weekends.

Ozzy or all the time weeknights.

Whenever there's just kids over

- Now all working.

- What? You were there then. - It was,

- It, it was a, it was a lot of, a lot

of weekdays and weeknights.

Yeah. It was, there was no, yeah.

It was just kind of a constant thing.

- Well, you've said a couple times since I've been coming

over that you wished you'd had more structure.

They do try. At some point you would never have listened.

There was a serious attempt.

- Okay. In this - Episode.

- Is that what this is turning into

now? The serious attempt?

- Yep. We're gonna - Oh fuck.

- Have a meeting while you watch a meeting. Okay.

- The meeting. The - Meeting.

- Curfew. Curfew. False id, curfew and school.

That's what it's about.

- Big Daddy's just fed over with the bullshit.

- We have to put our foot down and school and that's it.

We have to be strong.

But you'll see Kelly will start screaming.

- She's gonna go fucking IBE shit tonight.

There's gonna be World War iii.

- We can never have a family meeting without like,

someone getting all defensive.

- What Sean will you,

will you keep the curfew off? Forever.

- Forever. - Forever.

- Tell me this. Do you think it's right that night

after night after night, you both go out late.

What am I wearing? You both party. And there's no structure.

We've got no structure. We've gotta work to a plan.

- We have to have, we have to come to some kind

of agreement about going out, going in.

You can't keep fucking running around town.

All, all the hours I've got said in the week. You've gotta,

- I don't know.

This is the thing. I'm not out till two in the morning every

- Night.

This fucking thing sucks. I hate it. Sit here

- With me, Ozzie.

- Alright. When you're in your room, what do you do?

You play your computer, your fuck room play tool.

You fucking, you, you, you're not actually, you don't go.

Okay. Actually I'm reading. Listen.

And you don you got fucking definitely wasn't reading.

- I mean, look, last night, two 30,

somebody drops off to play pool.

It's just not normal.

- I haven't paid all this money for a fucking amusement.

I'll go, I might as well stay in a fucking hotel.

Would you be allowed to drown their house

to play pool at two o'clock in the morning?

I don't think so. If we say good point.

Oh, what, what, what's a reasonable time, Joan?

- I think 1230 in the week.

- That's it. Then it's all sorted.

- Sit - Ke. Can I just talk to you about the id

- Mom?

I will never use it to buy alcohol.

- How old are you? - I'm how old is s You know how old I

- Am?

Yes. Okay. If you get busted, it's fucking over.

Your ass won't even touch the fucking landing strip. Man.

You, you're gone out of here.

I don't think that you should be hanging

around fucking clubs at 16, 17 until you are 21.

'cause if you and you come on

with fucking fake IDs, that's bullshit.

- What you and dad have to understand is that me

and Jack have been brought up very

differently from everyone else. So

- Serious.

- What we mean, bill? No, - She means generally,

- Generally general.

We like everyone. No other kid. No other kid. Regardless.

Parents in the, in like music editions.

Ever take their kids on tour?

- I know the way you were brought up.

I chose for you to be on the road with us so

as we could be a family.

And I always want us to be a family.

- No, I like that Mom. I don't, I wouldn't have it

any differently.

It's just that everyone else is very immature

and very fucking coming.

I get it. And it's so hard.

Kelly Mom, can you, lemme finish.

It's very hard for me

to walk into a classroom every day when I went

and be verbally abused.

I made fun of, they still can't get over the fact.

Even though it happened 20 years ago.

That dad bit the head off a bat.

I, I think I'm quite a good negotiator for my age. I was

- Gonna say it's very serious business. I

- I I went straight to the fucking childhood.

- I, I will say, I actually think that's good.

That was some good parenting.

- What were do book on?

- Well, no, I'm, it's what I'm thinking

as I'm doing this, I'm like, yeah.

I would probably be saying the same things you were saying

- Kelly was, even though it's only a year, a year apart,

she was like mentally way above at that time.

Yeah. You, because you were still going through thes phase

of a teenager went NeeNee.

You were like that. Very much like that.

And Kelly was, she could talk back and forth.

There was a discussion. Yeah.

But with you, it was just like, get no me.

- Yeah. You were - Like a little politician.

You were making very good points though.

- Very good points. - You would,

you were dropping the hammer.

- Yeah. And did it work Jack, when they tried

to give you the structure?

- I think I, I feel like there was a window where it, it,

they were keeping it like, Hey, no more going out.

You gotta be home at this time.

There was a bit of a kind of feet

to the fire, but then it just

- Disappeared.

- It just disappeared. Just wasn't,

because everything got so busy. And

- When we started to get busy

and we had to start promoting the show

and we had to be up at like

six o'clock in the morning.

No, it was earlier most days.

And we'd do promotion from like,

- Shit just got busy.

- It, we'd be working from

because you used to do all the morning breakfast shows,

then you'd do your radio.

Radio and then it was like all day.

- And then it was morning tv

and then it was, you'd go and you'd have a break

and then you'd get ready to do late night tv.

And it, it just was a, you went around in this cycle that

and we, we all enjoyed it and we'd always show up.

It wasn't like we, we didn't enjoy it.

We liked everything that

- Came.

It was a new kind of structure.

- Yeah. It was a different, so that I, I think

that the being home by 1230 kind of went out the window.

- Really? Jack, can you explain that?

Why those cameras look so different from the rest of the

- Show?

So that when we were having a family meeting, we were like,

yeah, but the cameras aren't coming in here.

Like Kelly. And I remember Kelly being like,

there's no fucking cameras in here.

- It does seem very candid.

- Yeah. So they hid cameras in that room

- Yeah.

- For that meeting. - And then they went

ballistic when they found out.

- Yes, that's true. - But it was like typical us the kids

are telling us the ground rules of

how we're gonna do this meeting.

It wasn't just like, yes mom, yes dad.

We'll we'll come in, we'll have the meeting.

No cameras, no this. Then we'll come in.

So it was the typical,

- It got, by the way, it doesn't end there like season

two or three.

We did the same fucking thing. But they brought in Dr. Phil

- Also. Not

- A real doctor.

Same shit, same conversations, drugs, partying out late,

doing things we shouldn't be.

And there's Dr. Phil going, oh, oh yeah, no, no.

Then what happened? Okay, you. But then

- I thought, well, we weren't getting through.

So maybe somebody like Dr.

Phil, Dr. Fields, who does have, you know,

the right attitude.

Yeah. He won't, won't take any shake.

I, and so, but that didn't help either.

Jack, were you reading in your room?

- No. I could have been porn a little bit.

I mean, it would've been like maybe reading a magazine like

a, you know, music magazine or something.

But I don't think I was, I would, I wasn't reading like,

you know, Shakespeare's, you know,

sonnets or anything like that.

- How often did you have family meetings, Sharon?

- Not very often. It was only when we got in trouble. Yeah.

When it got too bad, you know?

- Yeah. - When it would build to a point of like,

this is just ridiculous.

- Did you feel like you were pretty good at

talking your way out of it? Kelly?

- I was quite impressed that I came up with that. Yeah.

Yeah. But it was also like, I'm looking,

thinking back on it, knowing.

Yeah. Because I remember that meeting

and I remember knowing, yeah, they're right.

We shouldn't be. But I don't want it to stop.

So what can I say? Yeah.

- You know what's kind of funny though is like mom

and dad aren't yelling.

- Yeah. - And like, we are getting so pissed off

with them and they're not yelling at us.

Yeah. They're just like kind of saying like, Hey, no,

the this, this has to stop.

And then you're like, will you just let me finish?

- Well, no, because mom was talking over me when

I was talking.

- Yeah. Oh, shame on me.

- It does seem like the requests were reasonable.

1230 on school nights.

- I mean, that's a, that's - Pretty good.

That's fucking crazy. Yeah. I still think

- That's crazy. I wouldn't,

- I mean, - I, yeah. Yeah.

- That's only 'cause you're in bed by nine 30 now.

No, it's way earlier. Mom,

- I'm referring to you saying that I will not have dope

smoked in my house or drugs of any time in my fucking house.

Quit this fucking smoking issue.

'cause it ain't gonna lead to anywhere

but bad places. Look at me.

- Everyone thinks I have a problem, Don.

Look, I don't, I don't drink because I ha I like crave it.

I don't smoke pot because I crave it.

I do it because I choose to do it.

- Yet when I started drinking

and taking pot part, I wasn't addicted yet.

But as time goes on, I became very addicted.

It is all, when I was, when I,

- 80% of the population of this country smoked pot.

- To me, Charlie, that's no excuse.

Because you know, you know what it's like 90%

of the population has a tattoo to say you gotta have one age

of the pop send of the population, poke

themselves in the eye every Wednesday.

Would you fucking wanna do it?

- No. But you think I have a problem? You did admit to

- Smoking it every single

day to help you go to sleep. Whoa. You.

- I wasn't. - You said you were.

- I never, I look this Yeah, true. You under the bus.

I'm such a lie. Right? Then fuck off. I have to go.

No, Jack, don't look. I have to go somewhere. I know.

Could you just, no,

because this isn't even a fucking structured conversation.

It's you dad and Kelly. I have no fucking safe.

So I'm gonna go now. Goodbye.

- Kelly said to me, you know what mom, I've been thinking

and a lot of my friends,

I'm not gonna see them anymore. Oh,

- I'm gonna change.

That's Kelly. But what about Jack?

- Can I order a delivery? Just one plain cheese pizza?

- Yes. The pizza. Kelly.

I love how fast you were to throw him under the

- Bus. I know that was brutal.

- When it was kind of going both of your direction

and then you're like, wait. I do. I will

- Say, I remember thinking this is my fucking moment

to make it about him

so I can continue doing what I wanna do. And but

- The, but the thing is, what do you do when you're

Jack, you're a fully grown

young man.

What, what were I meant to do? Get him in a headlock. Yes.

Put him in a room and lock him in a room. Yes.

He would've climbed out the window,

- But then you would've tried.

- Yeah. I don't know.

I I, I I guess it's one of those things where I don't know.

- I do, I think ultimately Jack would've listened

to you. No,

- No. I I would've,

- I do not think he would've listened to you.

He was so strong-willed when he was younger.

- I just had fomo. What's fomo? Fear.

- Fear Missing. Fear - Missing

- Out.

- Oh, gotta be a part of everything.

- Yeah. - Do you, your dad's like that in the morning.

- What do you mean? - Daddy gets up.

He's done it his entire life.

He will get up early

and in case there's something going on that he misses. Huh?

- How do you feel about your strong argument

that you weren't addicted? You just,

- That's a very flawed argument.

- He's a very flawed - Argument. He's

a very flawed argument.

And you were very right. You fucking called it,

- It's just so precious and you're, yeah.

You're not even 16 yet and you're like, I don't crave

- It.

I have places to be. I have somewhere to go.

- Yeah. And the whole conversation was about not going

out, not doing this.

I have somewhere to go.

- Okay. So say that.

I like, how would you

have wanted it if it wasn't what it was?

Like, would you guys, would you guys have liked it if all

of a sudden I was like, you know what I'm gonna, you know,

join the football team and you know, and go to AP Math

and just become like a nerdy student.

- I would've supported it. Of course I would.

- Dad, whatever you did, I wanted to be good at it.

Besides living the lifestyle of drugs. I

- Was really good at that though.

I was really good. I went pro young.

I was like, I was like Kobe getting drafted in the

NBA at like 18.

- But not 'cause you craved it.

- Not 'cause I craved it because

I, no, because it was a choice.

Choice. It was because I chose to do it.

- Yeah. Choice. - It's a choice.

- And you got all the tattoos also.

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. - And then when did you hear,

when Ozzy said about,

because somebody has a tattoo, does it mean that you have

to, and you, you started to laugh? I

- Did. No,

- He was looking at me making fun of me because I had a

- Tattoo.

Oh, okay. Yeah.

- But you are already at this point with the statistics and

- Yeah. I mean,

- Gross, 80 million people in this country smoke pot. Like

- Yeah.

- Just coming from nowhere.

- Yeah. Just making shit up. Like got

- His, - He got his argument down.

He's a numbers man.

- Yeah, yeah. Still I was crunching numbers, statistics,

you know, that's what I, I really excelled in.

- Well that was the end of episode six.

I'm sure that in episode seven, all

of this structure has taken place

and you'll just be new kids.

- Yeah. We've gotta be, it's like again,

new episode, new me.

- I can't wait. Yeah. Footballer.

- Yeah. Oh yeah, exactly. Yeah.

- Cheerleader. - Let me go get, and my DeLorean

- No, I see.

I, I ain't complaining. I'm happy with,

with the way we were brought up,

- Getting my DeLorean go 88 miles an hour back,

back, back in time.

- Perfect. - It's funny, it's like a,

I wonder if I would've go back

and like go up to 16-year-old me

and be like, look dude,

I wonder if I would even listen to me.

- You would not. I'd be like, fuck

- This guy fucking tool.

He's this fucking guy. I think he is.

- Really? How dare he? - You don't know me.

- Yeah. You know nothing about me. You don't know

- Anything about me