Original subtitles

- Hello, Osborn's.

Hello. What's up Amy?

Welcome to episode four of the Basement Tapes. Woo woo.

Truly. I wanna see if any of you have a guess.

It's one of the most talked about iconic episodes.

I feel like it has The moment everyone brings up.

- It's the ham over the fence.

- It's the ham over the fence. Oh, Sharon's shining moment.

- Speaking of TikTok. - Yes.

- Yes. That's quite, it's quite a TikTok

favorite that that clip. Is

- It?

It's so funny, this episode

- Before we supposed to hammer with it,

- Your lady.

- Good old show. - Do you remember what you threw for a

- Burning log? A burning

- Crack. It was,

- I know. Definitely

- Was.

Do you have neighbors? You like now

- The neighbor we have now, she must be stoned deaf.

She'd never hear a pee from us.

- That's perfect. - Oh, that. Or she's terrified

- Maybe.

So she occasionally will say,

can you stop the dogs from barking just a little bit.

But you can't. But she's, but they, she's okay. But

- Fucking my - Street there.

My, my neighbor is legitimately a cult leader. What

- Do you mean? Oh wow.

- My neighbor in my house.

Like just, if I'm facing out, the guy to my left,

he is a cult leader.

He has this cult called the Creative Society.

- Shut up. I swear to God. Yeah. What do they do?

- They're like a doomsday, kind

of like a, again, they're a doomsday cult,

but they're like eco doomsday.

So they think that we're in the end of, of humanity

and the only way to bring us out of it is like,

through their method of creativity.

- Well, you're a good neighbor to have

for them. 'cause you're prepped.

- I'm pre I'm ready to go. You - Got gear. I'm

- Ready to go.

- Kelly, do you have neighbors? You like?

- My neighbors are actually really nice.

- Good. To be honest.

Well, we're gonna hear at the top of the episode about one

of your favorite neighbors that you've ever

had. Let's start there.

- Come on. It did end nicely though with him

that the neighbor, he ended up being all right.

- Did he? - Yeah. I remember it was kind of,

- You guys wrote each other a letter. I remember he

- Was Alright, Terry, - Remember he was

- British.

That's not what the internet says. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, really?

But we'll get to it. Yeah. Yikes.

- Mild has I, I used to live next door to Pat Boone,

and I gotta tell you, people think Pat Boone's in Nerd

and I, I must confess, I, I was under that category

for a while until I met him, believe or not.

And he really is.

I mean, living next door to the Osborne bricks goes,

rocks go through the window

and cats goes flying out the door

and he never complained once.

- I love that. I'm just sat during an interview just eating

- Ozzy.

You loved, you

- Loved Pat Boone as a neighbor

- Is Pat.

- He was lovely. - He was a very nice guy.

- Very, very nice man. Does he still have that house?

- Yeah. Yeah, he does. - Wow.

- Ozzy, why did people think Pat Boone was a

nerd? 'cause of his music,

- But he was a lovely man.

- Did you know Pat Boone as well?

I didn't know him that well. We just knew him in passing.

But he was always very, very

- Nice.

Pat Boone once got a meet love on

- The other. Oh wow.

- Yeah. - That's a, that's

- Rock buck.

- I - Mean, Jeff paintball

- His out.

Yeah, we shot his house up with Paintballs

- Meatball.

- Yeah. - Meatball meat.

That's what I call, I call meatball.

Well, Sharon, you seem really friendly with the neighbors

because in this first chunk, there's just some ladies

that drop by unannounced and you're very friendly.

- Whoa. You beam. What did you move

- From here?

I live, well we, this is our height. She lives our Cherokee.

What we is, we go down Loma Carla Ridge and back home.

And there we are at home. LO

- They all look the same - Half

- Miles. Yeah.

- 'cause we timed it. Yeah. I mean

- It, I've been saying, I've been sending them.

- Me too. It's like I'm driving and I'm like, oh my.

- It must all go to the same cosmetic surgeon.

- Now we're gonna get in trouble. No weeping in next.

- What happens to, oh

- God, now walk.

Every day we say it pops up in another episode.

You find out what happens.

- Michael. All right. When I see you

tomorrow, I, you should walk with

- Us sometime.

- Did you ever walk with them? I'm

- Telling you.

No, we undercover security.

He wanted to see my id. I said no. Then I wouldn't be

- Undercover.

All those trees at the front door with a spiral.

Thank Those are beautiful. Yeah.

We, I have two in my yard

and I love them, but mine aren't as big. But

- I love that you are trying

to have like a normal people conversation.

I know mom, mom in a normal person conversation is like,

she's like parents. Robot of

- The least neighborly parents ever.

- We - Know that. He's a musician.

Raw meat, throwing raw meat, pouring raw meat. Raw meat,

- Raw - Meat, wild things.

Killing animals, wild animals.

- Killing it. What? Look a lolly of acid

- Rock.

- We're really dating myself.

- I don't know. This really sage on us.

- I'm like, - Let me get outta here.

- No, it's just so funny.

Watching mom trying to have like,

and I watch her do it too, was like,

what I consider people like normal people

that aren't in the, those aren't normies.

Yeah. That aren't in the music industry.

Or, or a celebrity themselves.

Because mom literally, it, it's like

she doesn't know what to do with her hands.

She doesn't know what to do with her

body and she's just, oh,

- Must.

- Yeah. You guys have never been ones to like

ingratiate yourself into neighborhood

and like get to know neighbors. Yeah.

- No, - No,

- No.

What? You know what? We've moved so many times.

- Sure. But

that all the more reason why you should get to know people.

We've just never been

that way. I know. You've never, ever, yeah,

- Never ever.

- We've, but at the same time,

we've never been never shunned them

off. You never shunned them away.

- No, no, no. I would never do that.

But we are just not that kind that wants

to be part of a community.

- So when I, my old house,

Selena Gomez lived like a block down

and there was a woman in the neighborhood

that if anyone moved to the neighborhood,

she would come over and bring like pastries

and was like a really nice thing to do.

Yeah. And say, Hey, welcome.

And she had no idea who moved into this house.

And she goes up, rings the doorbell

and is like, got some nice pastries.

And she's like, Hey, welcome to the neighborhood.

I just wanna, you know, I live down here

and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

And if you ever need anything, I'm, and,

and her security basically said, get the fuck away from here

and don't ever come back.

And she was like so like shocked by it.

- But you remember that's, that's a,

do you remember that guy's ghost?

Was he Halloween? We went to a guy's house

and he was fucking home to everybody.

- Oh wait, the Halloween party we went to.

- It was fucking nuts. Well, that's what,

- Like, - That's

- No, no, no.

It's weird. You dunno if somebody's coming into

- You, probably.

No, he wasn't letting people in.

No, they weren't invited. But

- No, what you mean people would fuck

his marching didn't there? No

- They weren't.

No, they weren't. It was all invited.

- Well, we are invited. Yes.

- Kelly, did you say LOL of those ladies?

'cause of watching your mom talk to them. Yeah.

Do you remember those ladies at

- All?

I have. I have no recollection of those ladies.

- I mean, they're such perfect, like Beverly Hills,

like they are Xanax,

- Everybody.

Same cosmetic surgeon. Yeah. They all look the fucking same.

- Exactly. Yeah. And she has no idea what's going on.

- You go, mom, look the freeway and then old

people look different.

- I - Dunno. I

- Feel awkward.

- It's like when she dunno - What to say.

- I dunno - What. It's weird to stop by too.

Just walk onto someone's property.

Well, Michael, see the security guard is Michael. Yeah.

He seemed like he's flirting

with these women every time. It's

- Very likely.

- It's highly likely. - Yes. Definitely. Yes.

- Yes. But it's, it's weird.

It's funny you should say that.

What happened to your neighbor with Selena Gomez?

Because the people next door to us here

where we live now,

- This side, this - Side, that side, that side.

- I've never heard from any of them.

- We sent our house manager over when we first moved in here

and we said, we are very sorry about the noise

with all the building, everything going on.

But if you, you know, if it's ever too much,

just feel free to call.

And he said, here's my number.

And the guy said, I don't want it.

And don't ever come back here again. So we did that number.

- Mm. - Wow. But they're not like

well known.

So it's not that they wanna keep their

privacy, they're just miserable.

- Yeah. Yeah. That's - Another

- Thing's, a few of those in my neighborhood. Yeah.

- Well, we're gonna leave the neighbors for a second

and get into, there's a, there's a sort of a cameo

by, but not in person.

She's done something that pisses you off. Kelly.

Oh. Oh wow. What's

- Up Kelly?

- What have I done? You haven't done anything.

It's your fucking daughter.

I just got a call when I'm in Tiffany from some woman

telling me how I should prepare my vagina

for my gynecologist appointment tomorrow.

She booked me a fucking gynecologist appointment. Look,

- Tell her to book me a a

gynecologist appointment. I wouldn't

- Mind.

I her fucking mind, I don't think any of her business.

- What? Check, Amy. It's done on my fucking business.

I guy in the car. Thank God.

I'll go Melinda's laugh because I feel like a cunt.

- That's so funny. - Do you have an appointment all? No.

It's a practical joke.

- No, it wasn't a practical joke.

She was gonna get me to be the dentist.

She was gonna get me a new car.

She was gonna send me to the fucking gynecologist.

I'm like, my teeth, my car, my vagina, my business.

All you gotta say is the famous line.

- What the vagina doctor called.

I say what kind of a conscious thing I am.

- Dad's such a sweat.

- Is Louis our brother? - No. Dad,

- This is such a classic Kelly conversation.

- I know. Don't ask me questions like that. Mom,

- You dad, nobody would ever message her with you.

I'll go fucking, I'll be getting that up there fucking ass.

- That's just it. Ozzy, there's nothing wrong

with Kelly. There's an absolutely.

- Well, don't forget about it then.

Want you time I mention the vagina Doctor,

you got a smirk on your face. What have you been up to?

- Dad? - Oh my God. So awkward. Kelly.

- Think I'm like as uncomfortable now as I think I was then.

- That's a weird talk to have with your dad.

- Yeah. You said I feel like a cunt. Can I go?

- Yeah. You said I feel like a cunt. Can I go? Can I go?

I'll go. I'll go for you because I feel like a cunt.

- Maybe they can tell me what kind of cu I am. Kelly.

Wait, why did you think

that the gynecologist will put a finger in your asshole

without your permission?

Wait, did I really think that that's what you say?

They're gonna put a finger in my asshole.

- Well, it's not just that. Like now they stick a finger up

your asshole and no one is sticking a finger up.

My asshole.

- I have no idea. I had all these, like,

you had a little lisp going there.

It, no, the craziest thing is I'm watching this

and I hear myself and I, and I, I have a lisp.

- You know why? - Yeah.

- You had that thing in. Remember that?

- Like an Invisalign or a retainer?

- It was like a, it was this thing

to stop you from sucking your

- Thumb.

No, I, I didn't have it in there.

Was out then it was way out by then. Oh, interesting.

- They probably come from me. It just sucking dummies.

- What? Yeah. Maybe.

- What, what, why age did you stop doing that?

- When did I stop sucking dummies?

- Oh, last week. But you went to school?

- Yeah, - About

- Five, six.

- When you went to school for the first week, then

- You started, but where were you so upset

that she made you an appointment?

- I am very shy about stuff like that. Sure.

Like, I, I don't, I wasn't at that age. I can say it now.

I wasn't having sex at that age. Which is

- What Ozzy was worried - About.

- Yeah. Yeah. - And I,

because I was still like boys ha like terrified

and I was just like absolutely mortified

that somebody had called me and,

and told me what I was supposed to do.

And what are you supposed to do? I've never on speaker phone

- And But she was just setting up appointments for you?

- Yeah, - Because she still does that.

- She, I think assumed

that I was doing things that I wasn't.

- Oh, gotcha. That you needed to be checked out. Did you?

That famous saying that

- You at the end, my teeth, my car, my vagina, my business,

- My teeth, - My car, my vagina, my business.

- Did you - Ever make merch? There was, there was a doll

- That there was, - We pushed the

button that said it. Yeah,

- But we're gonna be making 'em now.

- Oh, that would be great.

Oh, a little Kelly doll

that said it when you pushed the

button. What are the other phrases?

- All the Kelly dolls

that they made look like men with pink hair.

Like a Kendall with pink hair.

They, they weren't like cute dolls.

- Yeah. They're never very precise.

- No. - It was very like, what

- She trying to say?

- Did you end up doing the appointment?

- No. - Oh.

How many more years was it

before you had your vagina checked out?

Probably by the doctor Today.

I'm a doctor's probably like three years. Yeah. From then.

That's normal. Yeah. Yeah.

Once you started She was virgin. She's still a virgin. Yeah.

- Glad I wasn't in for that conversation.

- I know. Why. What made you go to your

- Dad?

Dad? I wonder.

I still go to my dad for everything. He gives good

- Advice.

Or at least a good joke. Yeah. Yes.

- Talk to me about vaginas.

I don't know what I, I know I'd like play around one.

I dunno. I know what, what it's like to own one own

- Moving right along.

It's weird. It's okay.

Well, we're gonna get back to the neighbor fight

or see the beginning of it.

It's a very cute opening Jack,

because I just love

that you would hang out in his room

sometimes. Let's see that.

- Jay, you play music at this time of night.

We are so disgusted

that music is the worst music I have ever heard.

Why don't, why don't I open up if you wanna.

- I still have that teddy bear.

- Why - Don't, why don't I open up?

Why don't we open up the windows downstairs. Sabbath

- And Blossom. Sabbath. Is that

- You Sarah?

- You should just read it out and let it go across there.

It's all this fucking sexy.

- It is a big line to what? That's, remember Sarah?

That was Kelly's, that was Kelly and i's friend.

Oh, wouldn't she a lesbian?

- I dunno. Fucking Wanka have no respect for your neighbors.

I, no, no. That's my dad. Why? Why would you do that?

Why would you do that?

- That's why do you do She was giving birth.

Some people do like to sleep.

It's two o'clock in the morning.

You have a perfectly bigger house to go inside

and talk every single night.

Drinking,

having your little cocktails every night. Why are you so

- Mean, - Karen?

'cause I am Karen. Pleasure. Of course I am darling.

- Come on Black Sabbath louder.

- You wanna hear some Black Sabbath?

You said you wanted to beat up Ozzy Osborne.

The front door's open.

Come on playing your awful middle aged music

for everyone to hear

- So awkward. What?

- We haven been here for six weeks.

Weren't you the one that wanted to beat us up?

Dear, come over. Come on, come on big boys.

You were just sat there saying

that you were going. I love it. Kill my

- Husband.

This is so uncomfortable. Come on big boys. Very cool.

And very nice. You, you've been very difficult.

- So like the wicked whisper, which these

darling the wicked witch has nothing on me.

You are already living next to the neighbor from hell.

Come on, big boy. Come here. Come on.

Cocky little Englishman. Come over here. Little rich boy.

Live off Daddy and mommy's money. Do you, have

- You met the wife?

- Oh my God, this is so uncomfortable. Why?

- I wasn't thinking Might have some

and I, I'd rather you try and not be an enemies for us and,

and use us allies.

We're neighbors. But you don't wanna do that.

And we try to have, everyone in my family thinks they should

just have war with you.

And by the way, it's not your husband.

We all respect Ozzie Osborn. We respect.

He's done his career. We don't respect you.

We think your kids are great. You are the problem.

Everyone else is great. Is that you so rude.

- Fuck that guy. You come over

and let me give you a cup of tea with poisoning

so you can catch us before we go to church.

Church services at once.

So if you could come at noon, it would be perfect.

What are we, what are you saying?

- What the fuck do you go on about?

- That's really disgusting. We should get Pat Boone bag.

See, we should see, wants to move in next door. Was

- He the best neighbor ever?

He was just the best mom. You are always scrubbing.

I always am scrubbing when I'm in the kitchen.

But like, even now, you are always scrubbing good. You know?

Do you know what I'm saying? How lucky we had it.

He was such a lovely man.

I've never known people so fucking noisy in my life.

I thought we were bad.

- Now it's fucking automated machines that are clean. What?

- Oh, scrubbers. Scrubbers. - Oh, oh, okay.

- Battery operated.

Oh, I need to hear more about scrubbers,

but I mean, we're missing some co Clearly some shit

happened before this.

- Yeah. And do you know - Confrontation? I can't even,

- They no.

They, they loved having their like garden parties, but,

and they were, but they would play music all

- Night. We had

- Coco - Champagne. We

- Had a charity event, which we held in our garden

- After this.

- Before that. - That, no, that was after this.

- Oh yeah, it was after this one.

- 'cause we, that was after the show was

successful. Then you had,

- And - Then he, then he complained.

We had to listen to Elton John, didn't it?

- He said we had to Elton John performed in the garden

and then Tony Bennett

and he said we had to suffer Elton John and Tony Bennett.

I'm like, what?

- That's worth getting a log thrown at you. Yeah.

- I mean, I'd probably get pretty annoyed by

that right now myself.

- If you, if Elton John was playing in the garden next.

- Yeah. No one wants to hear that. Ting.

- No comment. - Is that when you threw the, you didn't

- Throw

- The hammer? Did I throw the hammer over that night?

- No. No. I think it was later.

Later. I think it was closer to Christmas.

- It's coming. But I like that you guys seem

to have a really good time getting ready for this battle.

- Yeah. Like did you have - Jack?

- I love that shit. - Jack probably, if I'm correct.

Did you put full Army fatigue on?

- No. - And then go and do it. That would be great.

- No, no. That's probably, I would do something that now.

- That's - Why I was like army fatigue.

But you're like a little fighting team.

You are very excited. Did, did I, they don't even remember.

- They were just like, you are the problem.

You're this, you're that. And, but you wanna kill my

- Did they, did they threaten to like fight?

They said they were gonna go over there and beat

- Up dad.

And then, but then they keep saying, we love Ozzy.

You're the problem.

- And by the way, it's not your husband.

Well, we all respect Ozzy Ooz. We respect.

He's done his career. We don't respect you.

We think your kids are great. You are the problem.

- He says, we love the kids. It's you.

- You know, that's kind of like the,

sometimes the global consensus.

I'm just kidding. They moved in right after we moved in

and it just became like party house.

Like every night.

They were in the yard drinking and you could hear,

and they were, and they had outdoor speakers

and laring music. It

- Was, I remember that we went over again when I had cancer.

Yeah. And I think you went over

and said, could you turn down the music? Yeah.

- Do you remember when that guard wanted

to get rid of the COEs?

And he said to put the, the, the chicken on the fence.

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And - The police came around.

I forgot about it. Police came around about six weeks later

and he goes, we've had a complaint.

I go, oh yeah, what about?

And he goes, you've been leaving black

magic on back.

Oh God. He said, there's a chicken

with blue stuff dripping out.

- You know, you should have said first amendment

motherfucker and shut the door.

They, they, we had a coyote problem.

They kept eating the animals.

And so the security guard was like, just get chicken

and fill it with antifreeze and you'll kill the coyote.

And they thought, the neighbor thought

that it was some kind of black

- Magic. Oh my god.

- Ceremony. - Oh, well, is the internet,

is the internet correct?

About who that guy was?

Is it Owen Paul, the singer? Owen Paul.

Have you heard since then?

- It could have been fucking, - Who

the fuck is Owen? Paul? Paul

- McCarney. For all I know.

- He is a really bad singer from the uk.

Owen, can I google it? Yeah, please.

And I watched, 'cause if I saw it, well, I watched this clip

and then I watched an interview with Owen Paul.

And it is the same voice.

So I think it's likely

that we never knew. We never knew. Knew

- It could be What what, what, what kind of thing is it?

- You wouldn't like it. It's like

- Old variety. Classic.

- Yeah, it's like very schmaltzy,

like eighties pop.

- Let see. - That was him. Sometimes the internet's right.

- So look, yeah, that may - Have been him. So look,

- Putting it up.

Show Ozzy that was him.

- Oh. Oh. It could have been.

- Oh, I him mean you gotta see his music video now.

- He - Like a lounge singer.

- Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. Very like Barry Manalow.

- Was he right in the new wave or no?

- No. Even, - Okay.

- No, no, no. And his big hit was a cover.

It wasn't even his song.

So, so how did he have the money to the bear?

- He, he, he was very, the way he spoke English,

it was posh.

Very posh. So he obviously went to a good school,

but he was the typical type

of Englishman that I hate.

That is everything is was given to him.

- Right. - Parents hand it to him. You

- Know, I love that when you're like,

enjoy your daddy's money.

Come on little boys.

- Come on. Cocky little Englishman come over here.

Little rich boy. Live off daddy and mommy's money. Do you

- I fight exactly the same way with men.

Yeah. It's like,

because it's just like, you want attention? Yeah.

- Yeah. How come you, so the thing, the thing

that gets me is

because I'm a woman, I can't complain

that you are making noise.

Right. So I'm not allowed to tell you to be quiet.

- Why didn't you just call the cops? And

- That's the thing we usually did.

- I feel like we did. Yeah, we And did,

we were gonna do something to get like a noise.

- I don't think you did. - We did.

We called the police a lot to go over there. But they,

- The other one called the cops

and when we made you play was some punk band.

- Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

You're gonna blast metal at them in, in one

of the next scenes, but Oh, we do.

Yeah. The other internet rumor is

that they were loud playing tennis.

So then you let the dogs shit on the tennis court.

- Other No other side. Other side. Other side.

And what No, what happened was our cats were going over

there and shitting on their tennis court,

and they kept saying to us,

keep your cats off our tennis court.

I'm like, I can't. How could I, how do I

- Do that?

Yeah, but you don't think that one

of the neighbors killed the cats?

Oh, that's a good No, it was, that's a,

that's a prominent rumor about this.

- Could, that could

be a, that could be factual. You know? It

- Could be, could, could be be because they just banished.

- They literally just disappeared. There

- Was no trace food that brought

- Boys doing.

Well fuck Owen Paul.

- Who - Is he? It's like exactly.

- Any, anyone with the last name? Paul, you know? Yeah.

Logan Paul. Jake Paul.

- That's say what you want about them,

but they're very fucking smart.

- Let's go when desperate and feel smart.

I think attention in the family today come,

- Especially coming from you.

- You're like, let's go, let's go.

- Well, Kelly, they're gonna try

to rope you into this battle as well. Oh.

- How many times have I told you about these people? What

- Happened?

Well, you went over there and told them to

quiet down and they didn't.

- No, I didn't quite say it like that.

I said, shut the fuck up.

You middle age something or others.

They've said, oh no, we've heard Aussies. All right.

But you, and then they were saying in conversation,

they said that I'm a a lunatic.

- Well, I'm sorry. There are a bunch of cuts

that play the lady from at all hours of the night.

It's one thing if you're making noise like six o'clock,

10 o'clock in the evening,

but two 15 in the morning is a little bit obsessive.

- I said, who going to - Church at one?

- And ridiculous things like, good one moms

- Is on your - Doors and like, play Black Sabbath musical.

- Well fuck off because he wrote that music

and he walked for those fucking

doors with the crosses on them.

So fuck him.

- I hate that. Small mindedness.

I fucking hate it when he comes here tomorrow.

I wanna hold him down too sharp.

- Look at Marty Martin - Lulu when I said to him

that you don't work and you live off daddy's money.

He never said one word. He didn't. No

- Nothing.

He drives most obnoxious car too.

He drives up one of those like family mobiles.

- I'm not gonna let you see if I'm gonna play music like the

people next door.

- We might - Look what time it is. Oh my God, mom.

Two 10 in the morning, I farted in my car. Oh God.

- Oh, I hate that. No. Do you know what I did?

- This is it. - I screamed. I was like, excuse me.

And I talked to one of the guy, I go, your ballet guy

just farted in my car.

And it smiles ungodly. And they go, well, we're very sorry.

Very sorry. I'm like, no, it's disgusting.

- The fuck - No. The valet guy. The valet.

I got into a car, my car, and it was so bad.

I just remember thinking to myself like, this is, I,

I could possibly throw up.

Did it feel intentional? No. It felt like he was sick. Oh,

- You think he shit used, but okay.

Real talk. Do you think he like, maybe like,

like little Hershey squirted in your car? Probably.

- It was that bad. Where was it?

I can't remember where I was,

but I remember the smile. Oh my Lord.

- But I just love the fact that it's two 10 in the morning

and everyone just sat around having a conversation.

- Yeah. Just, just having a fight.

- Yeah. - With stranger, the neighbors, neighbors.

Kelly, what is the lady from Iba?

It's just this hokey song.

The girl from Yeah, that's what they were blasting. Yeah.

- Yes. Yeah. That's kind - Of a

- Soothing song.

- But they were like, they would play like kind of the girl

- From e - The music,

but they would rather be playing like euro like dance music.

Right. Or kind of like lounge music.

- Which is kind of what he sings what

- He does. Yeah.

- Yeah. But not that.

Well what flavor was this T

fart? Like you

- Just muskie You - Feel like you could have I'm go

in the in the egg.

- Egg grown egg sulfur. No. God, that is

- Lovely.

Ugly. I wonder if that valet guy when this ed knew

that that was him that did it.

- I think so. I've always wondered

that. That's funny you said that.

- Yeah. I think he was like, oh, that was me.

- Maybe he went to a doctor

that the next day that would be good.

But it's like the things that I say when I was a kid

that I don't realize that I just wouldn't talk like,

but now, like I was in Tiffany

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, of course. And the valet guy and like all of that.

I'm like, ugh.

- My baby's all grown up now.

- I know. That's for sure.

You also say that the neighbor drives like some sort

of family mo Is that family mobile minivan?

I think so. Oh, okay.

- I don't remember.

I love, but he doesn't have any minivans. Obnoxious,

- But he doesn't have any children, so it is weird.

- Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what you meant by

- That. I don't know.

- Yeah. - I

- Love your insult.

I wonder if he even still lives there.

- I don't know. It was, it was a great

listen, great street to live on.

- Everyone must be so sad to see that house.

It was always a lively house.

- What? I'm telling you, I've got to get

to find out who owns it.

- I, we should, I think I, I think he was owned

by Look an Arab someone. No,

- It was a Chinese guy because we went to, we wanted

to go film there not long ago.

And it was a, it was a Chinese family lived there.

- Oh. But they definitely haven't been there for a while.

It's really run down.

- Okay. Well I'm surprised that Owen didn't move out sooner

because this battle gets pretty crazy.

Oh dear.

- Oh boy.

- Who's this? Oh, girl from Edema.

How come those bastards never came over?

I think they're afraid of you. I

- I, I'm not, I'm not party people by any means,

but they don't own this fucking street, you know?

- I know, but you don't get it.

- I try and be a nice nobody fucking person.

- So - You don fuck with me.

I fucking with the wrong person.

I start, I'm fucking throwing dead animals

over the fucking thing.

I don't go a fuck. I'll throw fucking pig's guts

and things over there if they party

- Water.

We're always buttering bread. You know, fucking

- War.

We've gotta give you one. I got a pig's head from the

- Glitches.

I love that. He's talking about all this crazy shit.

And I'm just ignoring him. He's, I'm gonna get pig's guts.

I'm gonna get an animal head

and I'm just like buttering bread ignoring him. Yeah.

- Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Is that a, is that a normal thing in, in England?

Ozzie to you still do throw

- Gut to people talk.

I talk to myself. That's why I mumble a lot.

Because I can only listen to me anyway.

That's, I I decipher the mumble when you

want, when you want. That's not

- True.

And when you wanna hear us,

- You hear us.

No, I don't. I got, I got these mechanical

- What do you mean?

What do you mean I hearing is what you've got.

You can't lump me into the group.

- I think he did. - He lumped me into the group. Yeah.

- Wow. - Oh,

is there some significance Sharon be

behind throwing guts at people?

- Yes. I would say

- Just that it is really fucking horrible.

- Is that from your days in the slaughterhouse?

- Yeah. It kind of became a thing

with him in his early tours.

He would like catapult guts into the crowd.

- Oh, right. Like the neighbor lady said. Yeah. Raw meat.

Yeah. Yeah. So they kind of do know what's going on.

- They do. They they were, they were somewhat aware.

- Well, it seems like you, it's very easy

to rope Ozzy into a fight.

- Apparently - You're ready to go.

- If my wife's involved, I can. I do.

- Yeah. - She'll smack up. Has

- To protect his lady's honor.

- What? Of course. Well that's what's crazy is they think

you wouldn't fight when they're just shading on you.

Oh, like Ozzy. I'm

- Gonna finish.

Do you know what's really funny that you say that?

Do you know how many people throughout my life,

I have watched people be like, Aussie's All right,

but fuck you Sharon.

And they think that they can come back

and then be like, Hey, what's up man?

- Yeah. And it's your mother. - Yeah. I, it's

- Insane.

- You know who's the worst at that Is Nick six?

- Who? Yeah. Nick six. - Nick six. And Baldheaded Cunt.

- And you can leave that in.

- Oh, you mean the one that's got a 30 5-year-old son

and he's 67 this year.

That one. Well, what's wrong with

- Having 5-year-old - Son?

No, because he thinks he's a kid.

- Let's not, Nicky pretends to be a kidy. All right, Nicky.

- No he's not. He - Is not.

- He's - A pill.

- Yeah, it's, you're supposed

to talk shit about your own family,

but when other people do it, that's fighting.

It's fighting time. It is. Right?

- Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah.

- We're the same way. Yeah. And like I say, if

because I'm a woman talking to them like a man,

they can't fucking take it.

So if you are a woman talking like a man

and you stand up to another man

and you're saying like, don't fuck with me

and you are a woman, they're like, oh, what a witch.

What a this. If it was a guy tough

because the thing is, the thing is be tough.

The thing is, I'm a witch and I'm this and I'm that.

'cause I'm standing up for both stuff.

- But the thing is though, men get, probably get frustrated

'cause they can't eat. Women

- Hit.

But they hit us all the time.

- Yeah. I mean if a man was saying the things

that Sharon was saying, I couldn't get us back in the fight.

- Yeah. I hear what you're saying.

Well you come up with some very creative ways to fight back.

It's a beautiful neighborhood.

- It's a very peaceful neighborhood.

Oh, I love that fucking little

- Village of the damn.

- Shut up. It must have been him because he sings

and we never knew

Masu.

I love it.

Look at you mom.

- I love She's skanking.

You are nuts. You know, skanking stop you. I don't care.

- Please mom. No you're not. I'm no you're not.

You are literally awake.

I have to get up in the morning.

Really Fucking there shouldn't you?

Well, I'm trying to get to fucking bed

and you guys are singing fucking the whole world's in my

fucking hand. You

- Know, like that song.

Would you rather sing something else?

- I'd rather you shut the fuck up. Shut out.

What are you gonna come out and do? Fucking hit me.

That show Mature. That one really mature.

Fuck you, you silly cunt jack.

Little acoustic fucking guitar. Go show up your little

pompous ass Mandarin.

Sing you a lullabies. I sing you a lullaby. You silly cunt.

That was, yeah. Oh hero. The tree.

- You don't get it doing this. Just gonna provoke them. No.

- Shut - Off and go to bed. Why am I holding a gun?

- Ozzy? I love that Jack put on Norwegian death medal

and you're just asleep through it sleeping like a baby.

Yeah. Kelly was with me. Kelly Lord Kelly was very mad.

Yeah, it seems like you guys are always up all hours

and then just this night.

Yeah, we never, it's like everyone needs

to get rest all of a sudden.

I also forgot about those like sock monkey

- Shirts.

Yeah. Paul Frank. Paul Frank. Paul Frank. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or is it Frank Paul? Why is your hand down?

I think Paul Frank. What was that?

Why am my tit so pointy as well?

- You just were like yelling at me with your hand

in the back of your pants. God

- Only knows - How many nights would this go on.

- It went up for, it was every night.

I really, it was literally every night for weeks. The

- Neighbor.

Well now Kelly's up and fired up.

Let's see if we can wake up Ozzy to fight.

- Get - In the fight. Urban terror.

- I know, I know.

- Here's the hand. Follow the dog. The dog's eating it.

Probably throwing up his wife.

This is a picture of his wife's cunt. Oh

- God.

Terrible. So bad. Look at you. You're dying. You're dying.

You're like, look at me. Make yourself in. I for you. What?

I wonder what they did with the ham.

- They were making fun of dad.

They said you are a crazy whore. You just laughed.

That one. They said I was a crazy whore.

- I think they called the cops. Mom, mom mom, mom.

The door I think is the cops.

- Mom, I'm gonna get Nick. I'm gonna get Nick.

I'm gonna good Mom's. Good parenting. What? Very good

- Parent.

We something about throwing objects or something.

Was that happened. What was going on with that?

- I threw a bagel on a piece of hand. It's

- My window.

I'm so frustrated with them.

My window is on their side of the house.

I I, I can't have a full night's sleep at all

because of them Maggie.

And they'll have like their rave music on

and it just doesn't start.

- You wanna hear Kumbaya again? The acoustic set.

Just hang here and they'll do kumbaya again. All outside.

- Don't throw bagels at 'em. Don't throw cheese at him.

Don't acknowledge it at all. Just call 'em

or call us immediate immediately. We

- You guys, all the time.

You guys are out here all the time. All the time.

- We're powerless. We can't do - Anything. Yeah, I

- Know.

I know. Yeah. So don't be throwing stuff at 'em.

Don't, don't be telling 'em. I'm gonna call the cops.

Just call us quietly.

- Will you then will you come in here

and come in our back garden? And here

- You'd like us to if you want Will.

Yeah, sure. And we will deal with them.

But we have to witness the,

the violation. Have a good night.

- Thank you. And I promise no more bagels Bagel.

No more cheese. No, no wish.

- The good food. So. Alright, - Good. Goodnight.

- Didn't the house look nice for Christmas?

- It did look nice. I was thinking that. Yes.

We love a good fight during the Christmas season.

It's perfect timing. I, I guess that's why you had a ham.

Yeah. Couple of extra hams.

And just say again what you compared the ham to

- His wife's hunt. Wow.

- Pretty good. - Lot of sea bombs of sea. Sea bombs.

Definitely. We're gonna have to get this one

flagged on the YouTube.

- Sharon, why do you think people connect with this

- Episode so much?

Because I think that so many people argue with their

neighbors and it's, listen, it's, you never know

who you're gonna have living either side

of you on any street.

And it doesn't matter where you live

or the area.

It happens in Beverly Hills. It happens in everywhere.

Doesn't matter. You know, if you've got a noisy neighbor

and you don't wanna hear music at that time of night.

And I think because we all do what we do for a living,

people that live near you would think, oh they don't mind.

Look, they look at what they do for a living.

They don't mind if we're up all night playing

music and you know.

- Yeah. - All of this. So they think, oh well basically

- Fuck 'em.

Kelly had the cops come before this night.

- Yeah, I think - We ho before. Yeah, because you were

- Following them from both sides.

- Oh gotcha. - The Catholic, she on tennis court

and they that was singing fucking Kumbaya.

- They were probably realistically though,

when we moved out they were probably

so fucking happy we left.

- Yeah. But then Christina moved in.

- Yeah. - I'm sure that she had parties and things.

- Mm. Aguilera she bought the house from us.

- Oh nice. Yeah. It would be funny if when you get a new

neighbor you just give them a

ham when they moved in and they move.

They're moving. Yeah. I say

- Yeah, keeping one.

He should throw that one.

- Well let's see what Ozzy's gonna throw.

'cause he's finally waking up getting involved.

- But one thing's for sure I'm not moving.

I am definitely not moving.

- I love that you're like dying. You two are like the worst.

Ozzie. Oh, look

- At the break.

What the fuck are we doing? He's the little devil.

Look at ammo. Why are you ammo? They're good.

Your throw Manslaughter. Manslaughter.

The side of the house.

- Ozzy. Oh no.

I still can't believe we did this.

- Oh God. - The music shot in the dark.

Do you know where the log landed? Ozzy?

- I haven't got a clue. - Was the glass shattering reel or

- In Yeah, it was his, he had a little office

that we could actually see through the bushes

and he had an office

and threw it through his office window and broke

- The table. Do you, do you remember doing

- This?

It was just the, it was just the window.

It went through the window. Allegedly

- Doing, allegedly.

That was the time to having cameras there.

'cause when you were Arabic. Yeah.

- Well it's good tv. Yeah.

The, the, according to the internet,

it breaks like a glass table.

So what did the cops say this time

around when they stopped by?

I don't remember. Holter. God

- Wasn't enough.

- From the effigies that you were Yeah.

The ghosts were coming. The spirits.

So Greg, the ep Yeah.

For the show mentioned that maybe they were doing it to fuck

with the production.

Do you feel like that was part of it? I feel

- Like there was something, something about that. Like it

- Was They didn't want you filming. Yeah.

- Yeah. And remember because this was,

I think they didn't like all the traffic

that the production would bring

and it was like kind of disrupted to the neighborhood.

- Oh, so they would play music.

You didn't have the rights to,

and then you can't use the footage.

- Yeah. I think it was - Something park up down the road.

- Yes. Because - The production would

park all over the road.

- Yeah. And during season one we had there,

there was no permitting.

There was, because it wasn't, it wasn't a scripted show

and reality wasn't a thing.

So they LA didn't have rules

and regulations that productions had to follow.

So all the crew would park on the street.

And so there'd be like 30 cars just con, you know?

And so I think that was part of the reason

- Coming you live here.

Yeah. You having camera crew in your house.

- Nobody knew what it was. No. - Yeah.

- That's so great. And it's so funny.

I truly think it's one of the funniest episodes of TV,

but probably doesn't get included on a lot of lists

because it's, you know,

'cause it's, it's celebr reality. But

- Yeah, - It's just hilarious.

- It's a funny episode for sure. And you want

mom cackling the whole time.

- I'm just like that.

But when I think about my childhood, it kind

of sums it up in that episode.

- Yeah. - A little bit.

- You guys have the most fun

- Together when you're fighting all the same fight.

- Yeah. - Giggling. Yeah. Like little devils. Yeah.

I love it. It's like good foreplay. Just fight together.

Yeah. For along a good fight. Keeps a family together.

- Something like that. - Yeah.

And that's solid advice from the Osbo. That's it.

That's episode four. Cool. Yay. Nice work.

- Thank you Amy. - Yeah. Episode four.