Original subtitles

No, it's all right, it's all right.

Hey, it's all right.

My buddy's just around the corner.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's all right, I'll help you.

I'll help you.

Don't worry.

Seven years

ago, I was killed in the

crash of an airplane.

My face was crushed and burned.

My body was pulled from the wreckage.

But to the ordinary life of the

world, life among people, I

have been dead for seven years.

And so now I have decided

to bring this living

death to an end.

You are the last experience

of my life.

You are my last adventure.

But you just can't.

I can.

I will have you tonight.

You won't have to look at me.

You will only have to look at this.

My dear, take all the time you want.

Just perfect.

Too easy.

It's too easy for the last experience of

my life.

You'd better hurry.

If she drinks any more of that stuff,

she'll be on the move.

What a thrilling sight.

After all these years.

Memories.

It's like a flood of memories.

All those

years.

All those years I was in paradise and

didn't know it.

You're wonderful.

Wonderful.

It was never like that before.

I feel like a...

It was like a shock.

It felt as if I was on a

different plane.

Living in another dimension.

How can you talk of dying?

I can feel the power in you.

It's running through my fingers into my body.

You should live to conquer your handicap.

To triumph in spite of it.

You haven't seen my face.

You can wear this mask.

Do what you have to do.

This mask isn't me.

I can't live without women.

You can understand that.

Sooner or later she would have to see

my face.

Then she would always think of me that

way.

Can it be that bad?

If I could believe that I could find

a woman...

...who could look at me without horror...

...then I could live.

But surely for a man like you there

must be someone.

I have to have proof.

Proof?

How can there be proof for something like

that?

A kiss.

What?

If a woman could look at me and

then kiss me with her eyes open...

...then I could believe.

Could you do it?

Could I what?

One kiss.

You could stay with me.

I have plenty of money.

We could build our own world and live

in it together.

Stop.

Please stop.

I pleased you.

You said I made you happy.

But you're hurting me.

One kiss to save my life.

One kiss.

One kiss.

Fantastic.

Just fantastic.

What an affair.

She just passed out.

Not bad.

Strip to see me at Fantasma Caucus.

A typical case.

She'll pull through.

Oh, I'm a doctor.

Just help me get her into a cab

and I'll take her back to my office.

Ah, dear lady.

You are awakened up.

We are so happy to have gotten you

in time.

How did I get here?

What is this?

This is the seventh astral sessional.

The plow is furrowing in the orchard.

And in a very short while...

...we will perform the sacred ritual of transformation

to the god Apu...

...of the seven fountains of wisdom and hope...

...principal deity and only true father of all

the gods.

But how did I get here?

What's all this got to do with me?

Oh, it has everything to do with you.

You are the sacrifice.

What?

Your astral charts are the most propitious ever

cast by the high priest.

Seven sacred tortoises have been burned and the

snake has shed his skin.

All the readings are favorable to an almost

frightening degree.

Sacred wine blessed by the god Apu...

...for the illumination of spirit and mind.

Oh, god Apu, allow thy celestial brilliance...

...to illuminate this sacred ointment...

...so that the illusion of earthly flesh may

be dispelled.

Apu smiles upon us.

All the constellations were in conjunction over your

birthplace...

...at the very moment of your birth.

And it has since been learned...

...that constellations previously unknown were also in conjunction.

I confess to you, dear lady.

I can never remember the name of the

city of your birth.

Weehawken.

Weehawken.

Ah, yes.

Oh, you are the most promising of sacrifices.

Tonight, the high priest, the guru of gurus...

...source of energy for all things on earth...

...will be transformed into the living image of

Apu...

...at the very moment of your sacrifice.

You're going to kill me.

Oh, no, no, no.

Apu does not delight in bloodshed.

No, yours will be a very different kind

of sacrifice.

What kind?

You will see.

You can't do this.

It's kidnapping.

No, no, no, no.

No hostility.

It produces harmful vibrations.

When the worshippers come into the temple...

...you must respond to the waves of reverent

love emanating from them.

Worshippers?

Only the priests of the sixth platform will

be present.

The leading spiritual advisors from all the 50

states.

The most loving people in all the world...

...to be sacrificed to Apu...

...is the rarest privilege you will ever know.

The ceremony is certain to be the supreme

moment of your life.

Only one other sacrifice in memory...

...and half so good a forecast as yours.

And she expressed just such doubts as you

are expressing.

And she is now the sacred vestal of

the temple of Kansas City.

Oh, joy.

It is beginning.

It is beginning.

Oh, God, Apu.

Make thy presence felt tonight.

You know...

...we should have rigged it up some way...

...so that it would have looked like they

were carrying candles.

Ah, you're a perfectionist.

I thought it was an inspiring ceremony.

So did I.

Remain silent until I tell you to speak.

What did you do with them?

You know perfectly well what.

The secret plans for the liquidation of our

organization.

I didn't have them.

We've been following you for some time now.

You had those plans in your portfolio.

And you're going to tell me what you

didn't.

Well, you've made a mistake.

Mistake?

Mistake!

Let me tell you that our leader himself

is interested in your case...

...and he does not make mistakes.

You've got the wrong girl.

You think we don't know who you are?

We know who you are!

Apu!

Hi.

Hi!

You are Agent 69 of Counter Security.

Special courier for the forces assigned to Operation

Deep Fry.

Argue with her!

Well?

You've got the wrong girl.

Jones.

The truth serum.

Did you swallow it?

Open your mouth.

Open your mouth.

Raise your tongue.

Did you really swallow it?

Yes, I did.

Now we shall have the facts, Jones.

I don't know anything about it.

I don't know anything about Deep Fry or

you or anything.

I'm just a model.

That's it, Jones.

They found an antidote.

Yeah.

Looks like an antidote to the truth serum.

Give me Super S.

You'd better bring in the table.

She'd better take this one lying down.

Let's see you shake this one off.

Put her on the table.

No, no.

I'm afraid of needles.

I won't do it.

I won't do it.

You won't do it?

Oh?

Put her on the table.

It's working.

Don't go.

That's it, Jones.

We're behind in the antidote race.

What are we going to do over and

under, Rita?

No problem.

I'll get that information and what she did

with those plans at the same time.

Hey.

The iron brassiere over and under, Rita?

Too messy.

The tongue extractor?

Don't be a simpleton, Jones.

She's got to be able to talk.

Give me the new one they rigged up.

Goes on the head, doesn't it?

I believe it goes on the foot, sir.

You sure?

That's what they said, sir.

Yeah?

Here.

Put this on the instep.

On the heel.

There.

I believe this goes over the instep.

Please don't hurt me.

I keep telling you.

I know what you keep telling me!

You keep telling me we've got the wrong

girl!

And that's damn silly nonsense!

Screw that down!

Feel anything?

Damn it, Jones!

You don't know how to work it?

Look.

I still say this part goes on the

head.

You screw it down and it pulls all

the teeth out!

They said feet over and under, Rita.

Jones!

Give it to me!

That's one thing I hate about this!

I'll have to drill for it.

I'll just have to drill down to the

neural synapse, which controls your power to resist.

You'll have to hold perfectly still for this

one.

Quarter of an inch either way and I

lose all this information.

Is this a one-eighth or a one

-sixteenth inch drill?

Oh, one-sixteenth over and under, Rita.

Fine, fine, fine.

I don't mind telling you we've had some

unexpected results with this one.

All right, now.

Here we go.

Oh!

Yeah?

Yes?

Yes.

Well?

What is it?

You've got the wrong girl, sir.

What do we do now?

I guess we'll have to send her to

the breeding farm on the mountains to breed

followers for the leader, sir.

Well?

Send someone in to breed her.

They're all in geriatric class, sir, except for

the ones posted for special duty.

What about Henderson?

I saw him sitting on his butt in

the day we were reading a comic book.

Tell him to get in here and get

to work.

Has to clap.

What about you?

Oh, I'm posted for guard duty over and

under, leader.

Looks like you'll have to breed her yourself,

sir.

By God, do I have to do everything?

Sorry, sir.

Get out!

Get out!

To you, my leader, I dedicate this new

follower to the movement who is about to

be.

Two, three, four!

That's military efficiency, my dear.

What will he do with me now?

Oh, now don't you worry.

You'll have a very nice life at the

breeding farm.

I think it's best expressed in their motto.

Light duties, heavy labor.

And from time to time, I'll come up

to see how you're getting along.

Nice weekend all around.

One of the best.

Well, this one's ready for the breeding farm.

All right, I'll take her down.

My dear, you've given me a new lease

on life.

I have so enjoyed our little adventure.

I have so enjoyed our little adventure.

That I have decided to have another and

another.

Since I am not going to die, I

cannot let you go.

What are you going to do to me?

In my travels, I once met an Arab

sheik.

He is always willing to purchase maidens for

his harem.

You will be sent to our novitiate in

Nashville.

What a happy life.

Very nice

girls.

Say, I've

got to hurry.

I'll meet you down there.

Nice adventure for them.

You know what I did?

I set an alarm clock to go up

with her halfway across.

I sure would like to be there when

they start comparing notes.

Yeah, they'll have some real stories to tell.

Nobody would ever believe them.

Too bad.

What about next weekend?

Same scene?

No, I was thinking about something new.

Something about time travel.

Yeah, something about a time machine.

That'll take a lot of equipment.

No, just some knobs and switches and things.

Yeah, and a lot of flashing lights.

And a big plastic tube.

Something with a time machine.

You put her in a time capsule.

A big plastic one that lights up green.

Right, pipe in a little gas so when

she wakes up she's in another century.

I like it.

Listen, we could advertise for girls interested in

taking part in advanced scientific experiments.

Yeah, and tell them that we had to

use women because the metabolic tarsal metabolism makes

them able to withstand depression better than men.

Another century out of this world.