Original subtitles

- Thanks. - Oh, shit.

Does anybody know what's fucking going on here?

I don't know. I was contacted on SeekingArrangements.com.

Me too.

So this is some kind of, like, sex thing.

Dude on dude?

Like, we do each other?

Oh, no. Hold up. I ain't never doing none of that.

Well, you ain't gonna ever make easier money than that.

Listen, a boner that knows it's gonna get paid...

...starts reaching for the sky.

Cialis? Anyone carrying?

Good evening, degenerates.

I love the sight of every one of you roughnecks.

And the smell.

You changed into your dirty laundry just for me.

You know what? It all works.

Chud studs straight from the gutter.

This is like a kink thing, right?

Like, you're gonna give each of us a bath or something?

The underwear I got on will cost you a hundred bucks.

Mine's gotta be 200.

- So come on. - What are you into, old man?

Kink ain't what it used to be.

When I was a young juvenile delinquent, the shame and the pain

and the thrill of getting your rocks off just went hand in hand.

But today, with parents accepting every kind of sexual reinvention,

it just takes the sting out of good, guilty sex.

Kink today?

Feels as fake as a butt plug with trainer wheels.

Or is this one of those things where you get off watching us feed one another?

You want us to chew slowly?

Or with our mouths open?

No sploshing necessary.

I don't wanna see that stuff.

Just delightful smiles on your face.

Have a good time.

Think slumber party.

Have a snack.

Milk and cookies.

Freshly baked.

Go on.

Go ahead. Have seconds.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

That's enough.

Your work is done.

My lord and master.

I am overjoyed to meet you.

It's all happening.

What a moment for mankind.

And those ruffians in the other room, that was your doing?

Yeah, I killed that witch too.

We had to get this human iguana past 100 by any means necessary.

I got you the roughest of trade. Thirteen of them.

Half of 'em were bank robbers, the other half were murderers.

All of them had more crabs than a San Francisco seafood platter.

Tough shells, sweet meat.

That was my gift to you, Dark Lord.

And this is meant to help me.

Of course. You sent me here to serve.

When Constance was nowhere to be found,

I'm the one that had to think of a way to push you over the top.

I tried to imagine a gay Jonestown.

And if I was Jim Jones,

who was a bossy bottom from what I hear,

here was a flock that I could snuff.

Why have Kool-Aid tea dances

when we could have wholesome milk and cookies

laced with spoonfuls of crystal meth?

What a hopped-up, horrid, horny, hot way to go.

I admire your ingenuity.

When the last person croaks, it will be hell on Earth.

What a glorious time to be alive.

Actually, Mr. Phibes,

your plan has hit...

...an unfortunate snag.

Go no further.

Listen, mister. I gotta see the money first, okay?

I can smack it, squeeze it, edge it. You just gotta pay up front.

And-And I have Cash App, if that's okay.

Get on your feet.

I just saved your life.

Now run.

You let one go?

That was a lot of work for me to track down those guys.

I had to text pimps, parole officers, pornographers.

How... How could you?

We almost got the world to be exactly what you wanted.

You know, people always just assume that I'm cruel.

But the devil shows his other dimensions.

There's a softer side of Sears.

Suffice it to say, whatever comes next...

you'll be getting your just deserts.

Hail Satan!

Everything you ever desired, faithful servant...

except in hell.

g, whining]

New patient alert.

Nan,

don't you need a break or something?

Or, like, a snack?

Some string cheese?

No.

- Guess what? - What?

- It's a shih tzu. - Oh, God.

Meet Patsy.

Nan, I told you to stop naming them.

It makes it a hundred percent worse for me when you name them.

There you go.

Night night, Patsy.

Now?

Yeah.

Sweet, sweet, sweet little Patsy.

You sweet, darling dog.

You perfect creature. I'm so sorry.

You don't deserve this.

But I promise, wherever you're headed, it is so much better than this.

With lots of furry friends and...

shoes to chew on.

And so many kisses and so much love.

Nan!

Nan, are you ready?

I have to get this over with. Goddamn it. Please.

Let's let this one live.

You really are the worst, aren't you?

Yes.

I knew your hell would be an endless shift at a kill shelter.

And you delighted in it, didn't you?

You absolute monster.

Do I look like a monster? Look at me.

You'll see some good if you bother to notice.

Evil can be hypnotic. Erotic.

Be open to all of my possibilities.

I sure am.

Now, kneel.

Never.

I would rather stay here in hell than bow to you.

Surrender, you stubborn witch.

- No. - And close your eyes.

Trust me.

Just disgusting, isn't it?

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

I mean, what did I even want with this shithole anyway?

You can keep your precious Earth.

I don't want it anymore.

Well, what do you want from me?

You want me to sit here and watch as you rain hellfire on this city?

Will I be smelling brimstone?

No.

With my 100th birthday fast approaching,

I decided to keep things simple.

- I ended the game. - "The game."

We are nothing but sport to you.

Correct.

Managing humans? Billions of them?

No, thank you.

I much prefer the tempting, the tormenting,

remaining a menace among the good, the great game of it all.

I can't tell whether you're really giving it up...

or whether you're as committed to sadism as ever.

Well, call it a satanic midlife crisis that lasted nearly a century.

But admit it.

You never would have gotten out of your hellscape without me.

Not even with a twitch of that witchy little nose of yours.

I could have damned you for all eternity.

So just say it.

I won.

I will never give you that satisfaction.

You've got spunk, you know that?

I like it. I always have.

Not enough spunk to kill you.

Kill me?

That's like killing a metaphor.

Impossible.

You see, evil thrives where good thinks that it's triumphed.

As soon as you think I'm gone, I'm gaining on you.

That's not true.

Evil starts out small and builds momentum.

The world is way more fun with chaos always lurking.

Just like it's more interesting with you in it...

Cordelia Goode.

The virtuous will always rise up against you.

You're relentless.

You're also my offspring.

So I look forward to watching how those inner demons wrestle inside of you.

Bucket after buttery bucket of popcorn.

Now...

...get back to your Coven.

I'm even gonna toss you the keys to that tomb with a view

on the Upper West Side.

Call it your slice of the inheritance.

But fortify yourselves,

because you never know when you're gonna see your dear old granddad again.

Maybe when you least expect me.

Cordelia! Cordelia!

- Oh, God, thank you. - Queenie.

Oh, Queenie.

You know I could never live in a world without you in it.

But how?

How are you here?

Ben. It was Ben. He came and got me from hell.

You did it, right?

Right? Cordelia, please.

No, no, no. Please tell me we won.

Please!

No.

But as far as I can tell, we have not lost everything.

We still lost!

How long can we keep fighting this fucking fight?

We may have to fight this until the end of time.

I am just asking you to give me a minute.

The sun is out.

The light has found us.

So, please, let's just live in it for a little while.

Please.

Mallory.

What are you doing?

What I should have done months ago.

Tempus Infinitum.

No.

There's knowledge out there, scattered across time.

Something that could end him for good.

It's too dangerous.

There should only be one Supreme in this timeline.

It's not safe for you if I stay.

It is not safe for us if you go.

You cannot leave us.

We need you here.

I'll come back.

You can't know that.

I promise.

- Mallory, Mallory, don't. - Tempus Infinitum!

Mallory, don't!

Don't!

That should've felt better.

Thanks.

Oh. Sorry.

I just mean, with everything going on,

sneaking away feels a little skanky.

- Ma-Madison? - What?

I think the condom broke.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

I know. But, hey, I'm here.

Honestly, whatever happens, we will figure it out.

- Ben. - What?

What's happening?

Whoa. Oh, God.

- Benjamin, help! - I'm here. I'm here.

Push. You got this.

Push for me.

One, two, three.

Okay, another one. Give me one more. One more.

Ready? One, two...

Here.

It's not breathing.

Come on. Baby. Come on.

Come on. Hey. You're good.

Allow me.

There we are.

All my progeny have had their flaws and failures.

Antichrists with their own ideas.

Nuisances, mostly.

But, Ben, perhaps you've just redeemed yourself.

And thank you, Ms. Montgomery.

This baby has star power.

Congratulations.

It's a girl.

Hey.

It's okay. I know. I know.

eerie music playing]

Make sure you get all the corners, child.

Bad spirits lurk in each crevice.

And may I suggest that you imagine all your possibilities

without such metal?

No one with a face like yours needs to hide behind the work of a blacksmith.

Dearest Mallory,

I leave you this letter with the hope you will discover it in the future.

Time moves differently for you now, I imagine.

You have to feel it in your spleen, you know. The anger.

And then...

...send it out from there.

Some of our Coven chose to remain in New Orleans, as you know.

There will always be new witches

who need our house of instruction.

Well, hot damn.

You mean, all this time, I could have burst a man

or a haunted fucking house into flames

with just a flick of my wrist?

So we left the walls we knew to make new connections.

To open ourselves to the wider world.

To welcome twists of fate.

Evil forces the good to rise up,

to gather what's broken,

to build something better and brighter than before.

I once met the darkness with fear,

but now it gives me purpose.

Anything worthwhile demands the best of us,

whether it's saving the world

or simply showing up for the ones who need us most.

But a Coven always survives the same way.

With one woman reaching out a hand to another.

So we reach out across the city,

onto its streets and into its shadows.

That is how our Coven now grows.

Though, perhaps none of this surprises you, Mallory.

In any case,

you know where to find us.

Every day, I pray you'll come home.

Oh... You came back.

I promised you I would.

Come.

What is this dress you are wearing?

Salem chic.

God, you would love it there, Cordelia.

And I did so much good.

I stopped the trials and helped our sisters burn the wicked.

You discovered a new spell.

Yes, I did.

Tell me.

I danced under the maple leaves with their Coven

under the light of the moon.

And our sisters gave us the gift of neglected sorcery.

A 17th-century spell that just might do the trick.

Turns out, Sarah Good and all her trickery

helped inspire the magic of Dorian Gray.

But to complete the spell,

we will need someone's help,

though they may not be willing to give it.

What?

It will require the ultimate sacrifice.

What's happening?

God, I was just on a diaper run.

Why did you guys bring me here?

We need you, to help save the world.

And you are the only one who can help.

Because I am the son of Satan?

Yes, the Antichrist.

But there have been others before you.

Caligula, Xerxes the Great,

Attila the Hun, Torquemada,

King John, Napoleon, Leopold II,

Stalin, Franco, Mussolini, Hitler...

Michael Langdon.

Altogether, 12 before you.

Making you lucky number--

Thirteen.

The most powerful of them all,

which is why we need you to destroy your father once and for all.

You found something?

Good. Christ. Okay. Tell me.

Tell me what I can do. I'll do anything. Anything.

Tell me what it is.

You must end your existence.

But... You...

You're asking me to give up everything.

I just became a...

I just had a daughter. I don't...

- I just fell in love. - Yes.

It is the ultimate sacrifice.

It is you truly denying your birthright.

It is a refusal of everything that he stands for.

His blood runs through your veins,

filled with all of his power for hurt and hate.

But by destroying yourself, you'll destroy that power.

Cordelia.

You're not gonna ask this of me... and Madison.

Please.

Do you think I have a choice?

Trust me. I know the cost.

I will have to look into Madison's eyes.

I will have to tell her that I asked you to do this.

I will have to tell her it was me.

Then don't.

But she will understand.

And she will be so very proud.

Ben...

I am very sorry,

but the more difficult, the more power it will summon.

And we will need all of it we can get.

They will know you left them because of how much you love them, Ben.

But there truly is no time.

We must do this now, before he catches on to us.

Me with a daughter.

What are we supposed to even do?

No one taught me how to be a good parent.

Maybe we can make the world a better place for her.

Give her parents a fighting chance at keeping her safe.

Hey.

Tell me.

Tell me what I have to do.

Come.

Care to share what the fuck you're doing?

You missed me?

All humans long for the thrill of temptation in the end.

We are not your average humans.

We are witches.

But not just any witches.

Two Supremes united today for a brief period in a single timeline.

That is how powerful we are.

And together, we realized our mistake.

- Which is? - To let you go on, destroying our world.

To accept the fact that good cannot exist without you, without evil.

Well, that may be your philosophy, but it is not ours.

Not anymore.

We want you gone. Forever.

And with you, wars, pain and suffering.

And, how do you plan on exiling me?

You shot your shot. You failed.

You witches have had centuries to try something clever.

You're out of clever.

- What about folk magic? - Folk magic?

- Courtesy of Old Salem. - - How charmingly pathetic.

Ever heard of the Vinculis spell?

It chains the soul to whatever it truly desires.

Angels are perfect, pure beings without the need for a soul.

You gave up that perfection when you rebelled.

God cast you down into hell.

Gave you a soul.

An eternal life force that could experience pain.

And pleasure.

You can't resist being looked at, admired.

Nothing would please you more than being called a masterpiece.

You dumb bitches don't got the juice.

They do...

if they have my help.

Ben, what are you doing? Put that down.

You just became a father.

And I will not let my daughter grow up in a world with your evil in it.

We've been afraid of you for far too long.

But no more. Goodness reigns supreme.

You fucked with the wrong Coven.

Let my blood be a symbol of all that is righteous and good.

Let the spilling of it bestow the spell

with the everlasting power of that light.

Fuck you, Dad.

All my life I've been afraid of the number 13.

But I am afraid no longer.

It is more than a fear.

It is more than my number.

It is my destiny. The purpose of my life.

Vinculum Picturae!

Judas, the deadly betrayer.

The devil himself.

Forever the 13th guest at the table.

So now, we keep watch.

No.

He's already taken enough from us.

It's tight, but it'll hold this time.

Finally, finally.

Okay. Busty, say the line with double the gusto.

And on this next take, when you hit Brutus,

I wanna see some blood.

He's biker deity.

The ultimate meal penalty.

Give him what he deserves.

Motor Psychos from Hell, take 7,894.

Gonna get it this time, Mr. Phibes.

Vroom, vroom.

Oh, I could do this for eternity.

Okay, take your places.

And... action!