Original subtitles

Hotline, you've got a friend.

I'm gonna kill somebody.

Am I gonna be blind?

No matter. We can help him. You talking about insulin, Tommy? You're a diabetic,

aren't you, Tommy?

Tommy, answer me.

He's passed out. He could go into diabetic comaganzo. This kid could die.

The police will track him down pretty quickly. Well, they may be able to find

him, but they won't know how to treat him. I better go help.

I just can't wait, John.

Grab your knife and do your thing.

Because I've got nothing to lose.

Hello. Vinnie?

Sorry, wrong number. Is this...

Yeah,

that's the number, but nobody named Vinnie lives here. In fact, nobody lives

here. This is a parking lot.

Well, actually, I live here, sort of. I mean, I park here, but it's a phone

booth. I don't have time for games. This is a long-distance call.

Just tell Vinnie that this is Gail. Hey, I'm not playing any games. This is the

parking lot for the San Francisco Memorial Hospital.

Where are you calling from?

Philadelphia.

Listen, Gail, Vinnie gave you the wrong number. I'm sorry.

Hello,

Gail, right? Look, man, I know Vinnie's there, so you can stop trying to protect

him. Gail, believe me.

Hey, you crying?

Look, tell Vinnie I think I'm pregnant.

No, scratch that.

You tell that no good friend of yours, the rabbit, died.

Oh, so, uh, Vinnie's the father and he told you to call this number just in

case, huh?

Oh, boy.

I told her it was just indigestion, but she wouldn't listen to me. Insisted I

come, insisted it was my appendix. Yes, well, uh, don't worry, madam. There's

nothing to worry about. Your husband's going to be fine.

I'm going to be just fine, dear.

Of course I'm sure.

I told you it was nothing, and that's exactly what it was, nothing. Maybe next

time you'll listen to me.

She never lets up. Nag, nag, nag. It's all I ever hear from her.

Stanley, the boy number five is throwing up.

All right, all right.

Busy today.

You'll excuse me. Well, you will excuse me. There's an emergency.

What's going on here, Starch? Do I have to do everything?

I mean, am I the only person on the staff?

Where's Gates? He worked all night.

What about Rombeck?

Homesick, food poisoning.

Armbruster? Sicker. He had dinner with Rombeck. I hear you're busy, Stanley.

Can I help? Oh, this is sheer madness, John. I mean, I've got a kid who's

throwing up. I've got a girl with a ball bearing in her ear. I've got a midget

with giant hives. I've got a death mutant there with marital problems, and

I don't have anybody to help me.

Where's the sick kid? Number five.

Come on.

Dr. Coe, line four.

Dr. Coe.

What happened? They found her laid out in front of some tacky motel with a

wrist slash.

Any idea how long she's been bleeding? No, no idea. All right, nurse, let's get

her typed and crossed for two units of blood and get me a doctor. Any doctor.

Rombeck, Gates, somebody.

Let's go.

So it doesn't mean you're pregnant. The same symptoms can result from the kind

of stress you're putting yourself through right now.

You want it.

Uh, Gail, I gotta go.

Gail, listen, you shouldn't be alone right now. Call somebody, anybody.

Apart. And Vinnie, who's left?

Oh, come off it, Gail. Everybody has somebody they can talk... Gail?

Gonzo, come on.

Man, I've been up all night.

So what else is new? Are you coming? Come on.

Yeah.

Young lady, all we want is a little background information.

Well, if you refuse to cooperate, I'll have to turn your case over to the

police. Attempted suicide is against the law, you know.

What have you got, Steve?

Well, all I know is that her name is Denise.

An uptight ghetto girl surrounded by white doctors and nurses. It's

impossible to get anything else out of her.

Well, can you try?

Be my guest.

Hi, I'm Dr. Gates.

It's amazing, isn't it, how long it takes to bleed to death? Everybody

thinks it's easy, but it takes forever. Why don't you butt out, Gates?

You need help, Denise.

Like what?

A shrink?

You want to help me?

Give me 35 cents for the bus home.

Why, so you can go try and kill yourself again?

Maybe.

Hey, where you going?

Out to raise 35 cents. I'm a little short.

See what you can do with it.

It's probably not going to work. I know the type. Quiet.

When I want to janitor, I'll yell.

You got it wrong, Denise. I'm the blood steward around here.

You know, A, B, X.

Any preferences?

Don't shout at me, nigga.

As a cultural group, we're not in the habit of committing suicide.

It's not our trip.

You're fouling up the ethnic statistics, Denise.

When did you sell out to join this honky establishment?

Look, kid, I really don't have time for this, all right? If you really intend to

check out of this veil of tears, let me know the time and place we'll organize a

pool. Someone should get something out of this.

What's this, the platoon system?

First team coming back in?

I'm gonna show you the proper way to cut an artery.

We can use the blood for the blood bank.

You weirdo! Just saving you 35 cents.

Now, you take the knife, you...

Where were you this morning when I

needed somebody to talk to?

You should have called this hospital.

I did.

They put me on hold for 15 minutes.

Well, yeah, I feel I'm still on hold.

My kid brother OD'd on Thursday.

I lost out on a job at the bank.

And I'm gonna need a C&I dog.

Just across the lousy street.

Who told you that?

Some doctor at the free clinic.

It took me six hours and four transfers to find out I'm gonna be blind.

And that's why you tried to kill yourself?

How many reasons do you need?

Well, since you're here, why don't you let us examine your eyes?

What's the point?

Maybe that guy at the free clinic was wrong.

With my luck, no way.

Well, if that's the way you feel about it, I guess I better retie your hands.

No, it's okay.

Well, I don't match your drapes anyway.

Okay.

What's it look like?

Oh, hello.

Calcium above the cellar.

Like a craniopharyngeal compression of the optic chiasm.

Oh, brother.

What am I going to tell Denise?

I don't know.

It's a long shot.

We can't remove the tumor the usual way. It needs a transnasal approach.

There's one neurosurgeon in Seattle who can do the job. A friend of mine, Philip

Malcolm. Can we call him?

He's semi-retired. Come on, you can talk him into it.

Relax. I've already called him. He'll be in town tomorrow morning.

This never would have happened if Denise had had somebody to talk to.

What, the tumor?

Slashing her wrist. She called here and they put her on hold for so long she

hung up.

Damn it. See, that's the trouble, being understaffed and overworked.

I'll talk to Slocum about it.

You gotta do more than that, Trapper.

There's too damn many people like Denise buried under problems they can't cope

with.

Why do I get the idea you're selling me something?

Look, what we need around here is a 24-hour hotline, a phone service for

people who need sympathy, a friendly word, a little advice that... Yeah, I

know. We don't have the funds.

Nor the time, nor the personnel.

I was thinking we could all volunteer. Each of us take a shift.

Listen, two minutes ago, you were asleep on my couch from overwork.

Now, it's a noble idea.

But you're asking untrained volunteers to deal with desperate, emotionally

disturbed people.

We'd need a battalion of psychiatrists.

I forget I mentioned it. Just my youthful idealism.

Your friend Malcolm can really handle this job?

It's up to him.

Look, Trapper, if we don't remove that tumor, the girl goes blind.

Right.

And if Malcolm decides to do the operation...

One of four things will happen.

She'll be cured, she'll go blind, she'll have a stroke, or she'll die.

Now explain that to somebody over a telephone.

The tough part is we can't spend our breaks together anymore.

We're gonna have to stagger them so we can each take a shift on the hotline.

I wouldn't mind putting in some time when I'm not working. Me too. I keep

thinking of people like Denise Calloway. People like that, if she'd only... Uh,

what you got there?

Got these at the phone mart. These are different phone styles we can get.

Look at this one.

Four hold buttons.

Nobody gets put on hold.

Right. Remember, we're dealing with potential suicides, nervous breakdowns,

and mass murderers.

This one looks like Little Bo Peep.

Somehow I don't think that would be quite appropriate for the hotline.

Just where do you think you're going to install this hotline? Hi, Stanley.

You hungry, Stanley?

Well, how about the doctor's lounge?

There's a key word in what you just said, Jackson. Lounge. The doctor's

lounge is where the doctors go to lounge. They don't go there to head off

potential mass murderers. It's just a thought.

Well, it took us five years to get that lounge installed. Now you people want to

turn it into an upholstered telephone booth. Well, I won't have it. Yeah,

what'll you do?

I'll tell.

Trevor, how good to see you.

Marvelous, Laurie. It's been quite a while. Come in.

Oh,

I'm sorry. I'm afraid I have an apology to make. Phil called up a few minutes

ago from the university. He's going to be delayed.

One of those seminars.

Well, I should have expected it. Since his retirement, he has been busier than

ever. You know, lectures, consultations, constant demands on his time.

Is there anything I can do?

Well, I have the reports on the patient I told him about.

I'd like him to look them over and examine the girl as soon as he possibly

can. It's pretty critical, Laurie.

I will put them in his hot little hands the minute he comes in. I appreciate

that. I would ask you to stay, but I'm meeting some friends and about... No,

no, I understand.

Besides, I have to get back to the rock pile anyway.

He will be in touch with you, I promise. Thank you, Laurie.

See you soon. Bye-bye.

And you agreed to let our doctors evaluate them. What's the point?

The doctor in the free clinic was right, wasn't he?

Well, his diagnosis was right, but things aren't quite as hopeless as he

said.

There's this hotshot surgeon named Dr. Philip Malcolm who specializes in this

kind of operation, and he's interested in your case. Now, Denise, before you

start fighting with me, why don't you just meet the guy?

Talk to him. Let him decide what can be done. He's had a lot of success with

this kind of surgery.

What about his failures?

Hey, you're right.

What am I fighting you for?

The sooner he lays the bad news on me, the sooner I can check out.

I don't just mean out of the hospital.

I mean check out.

Dig?

Fill it out.

Too many saturated fats.

Stuff is poison.

Worst thing in the world for my... Health.

Hi.

Paul.

What's this about saturated fats?

Nothing. You must be Denise.

And I must be Dr. Beaker.

Dr. Beaker is a psychiatrist, and he's all yours.

Oh, Gonzo, listen, I gotta have another checkup right away.

We have our problems, too. Don't tell me, the old belly fever again? Or is it

the sinuses? No, it's my back.

No, I mean it. It's right about here. I picked up some shrapnel and nom. Paul,

another time.

I want to get a commitment out of you. Now, what about tonight after work?

This is serious.

Just like the valley fever?

I don't have valley fever? No, you don't have that duodenal ulcer you're always

talking about either. It's all in your head.

The psychiatrist.

Well, what about lunch? On me. We'll go to Captain Freddy's. Ooh.

What? All they serve is fried foods.

So?

Bad for the heart.

What do you know about it?

I'm into food.

Health food.

Really?

I've been thinking about changing my diet.

I've got an ulcer, you know.

Goat's milk.

Goat's milk?

Really? Tell me about it.

Just go to a health food store.

These strong-arm tactics never work in the long run.

Guns, we got us a phone. And it won't cost a penny.

One late model, slightly used telephone.

Courtesy of Ma Bell. And we won't have to go through the hospital switchboard.

You guys are geniuses.

I'll take a rain check.

Well, say, what if somebody wants to use the phone during peak hours?

All right, I'll meet you all at the Titanic tonight. We've got a lot of

things to talk about.

How about that?

There. Got a problem? Get it off your chest. 24-hour hotline. Call 555-8675.

You've got a friend.

Strictly confidential.

Underline confidential.

It's open.

Paul. Hi.

Hi. Is this your idea of a private examination?

Oh, Paul, I forgot.

How could you forget? I'm dying.

We're gonna run off on a couple hundred of those.

Do you have any idea what you're getting into?

You know, there's an awful lot of sadness out there.

Eight million stories in a naked city.

And that's a conservative estimate.

I just set up a hotline in Marin County. When I left, the phones were ringing off

the hooks.

Then you know how these things work.

I know why they work.

Because the person who answers the call is anonymous.

Those people out there, they don't care if you're a doctor, a lawyer, or an

Indian chief.

They don't even want to know your name. All they want is your ear and the sound

of a human voice.

For that, all you have to be is human.

At least I'm qualified.

Overqualified.

Oh, come on, Paul. We don't know what we're doing here.

We need some professional guidance.

I'm in no condition to guide anybody.

My ulcer's acting up again. And my back is killing me.

Get him some goat's milk, Jackpot.

Goat's milk? Goat's milk?

Well, I knew Paul might stop by.

Okay, so tell us about it. About what?

About a hotline.

Oh, well, you'll be amazed some of the things you hear.

I once got a call from a guy who opened oysters for a living.

Hey, this is good.

Oh, it's back of mine.

Okay, take off your stuff. I'll take a look at it. Will you excuse me, please?

As you know, I picked up some shrapnel and noms. Oh, sure.

Good luck.

Bye-bye.

It's called a visual field defect.

The field of vision is basically oval.

Your problem is the oval is being gradually worn away.

Vision gets fuzzy and eventually you lose it completely unless we go in and

fix it.

Hello, Trevor.

Bill, I'm glad to see you. Nice to see you. This is Denise Calloway. This is

the miracle man we were telling you about yesterday, Dr. Malcolm.

Denise, very nice to meet you.

One guy looks at my eyes and says I'm a hopeless case.

These guys look at the same eyes and say something different.

How come?

Well, Denise, the eyes are like the cameras of the mind.

If something is wrong with the lens, then you need that kind of a repairman.

But your lenses are fine.

The trouble is with your wiring.

So what kind of repairman are you?

I'm a neurosurgeon. Who just happens to specialize in this particular kind of

work.

Can you fix my wiring?

Denise, I'm going to be absolutely candid with you.

An operation may help, but there's no guarantee.

The procedure is dangerous.

How dangerous?

Well, if things don't go exactly...

But exactly the way they should.

Your vision could get worse.

You could develop a post-operative infection.

Or there's a slight chance you might develop a stroke.

And if everything goes right, there's even a chance that you might even be

cured.

Sounds like your pal here is trying to talk me out of it.

No, Denise.

You don't understand.

No, you don't understand.

If you send me home blind, I'm dead.

Send me home paralyzed. I'm dead.

Where I come from, nobody takes care of nobody but themselves.

So grab your knife and do your thing.

Because I got nothing to lose.

Hi, could you take a flyer, please, sir? Could you take one of these, please?

Hi. 24-hour hotline.

Hi there. Can you get into a fret, please?

Hi there.

You've got a friend.

Trapper John, you could lose your job.

Hey, Trapper. You're out of your league, kiddo. I mean, this is the height of

irresponsibility, setting yourself up as the arbiter of people's social and

psychological problems.

Hold on a minute, Trapper. Let me introduce you to a member of our staff.

Hi,

Trapper. Who is this?

Paul Beaker. I'm backing Gonzo on the hotline.

Paul, how did he drag you into this?

The kid worked miracles on my back. He told me to sleep with my toes pointing

north. I owed him one.

Here, I'm going to give you back to Gonzo.

Uh, Trapper, if you should ever have a problem and you need a friend...

Toes

pointed north?

Right. Okay. Give me the number you're calling from.

Yeah.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

Okay. What's going on here?

Hold on a second. Here, take this. Take this? I don't want to take this. I'm on

my way home. I've got the number he's calling from. Keep him talking. I'm

going to get the police to trace the call. The police?

Wait. Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Who is this?

I don't feel so good.

Who is this? Who's on the line, please?

Tommy. Tommy who?

What do you want to know?

Well, that's a ridiculous question.

My name is Dr.

Riverside. Did I just hear you say you don't feel well?

I'm scared of doctors.

Well, that's silly. Doctors are really very nice people.

Listen, actually, I'm not really a doctor.

My name is Stanley.

When I was your age, kids used to call me Stinky.

Tommy, are you still there?

Yes.

What I want to know is this.

What are you doing up at this late hour?

I'm running away, and I got lost and kind of

scared.

Okay, okay, I understand. I see. That's fine. That's okay.

Everybody has to run away sometime. Everybody. I did.

Of course, I was 23 at the time.

Listen, Tommy, um, are you still feeling sick?

Yes.

Can you tell me what's wrong?

Tommy, tell me what's wrong.

Tommy!

Forgot my medicine.

Okay, what kind of medicine?

Insulate. Insulate?

You mean insulin?

You talking about insulin, Tommy? You're a diabetic, aren't you, Tommy?

Tommy, answer me.

Tommy?

Tommy, can you hear me? I want you to answer me.

You've got to answer me. I want you to keep talking.

Tommy?

Tommy?

Tommy, listen to me. It's okay. The police are working on it.

He's passed out.

I think he may go into diabetic coma. Don Gonzo, this kid could die.

I gave him the number. The police will track him down pretty quickly. Well,

they may be able to find him, but they won't know how to treat him. I better go

help him.

Stanley, you are a bundle of surprises.

Well, somebody has to have a sense of responsibility around here.

Hotline, you've got a friend.

Hello?

Hello, anyone there?

I killed somebody.

What?

You heard me.

I'm gonna kill somebody.

Nice kid.

Doesn't deserve to die.

They don't understand.

I... haven't worked in a

year.

Can't do it anymore.

What are you talking about? What kind of work do you do?

Camera repairman.

I'm a camera repairman.

Listen, what's your name?

What is it, Denise?

What are you afraid of seeing?

Nothing.

This is a visual field test, Denise. It'll give us an idea of your peripheral

vision. Now, what I want you to do is look straight ahead, right here.

And Dr. Thompson is going to move the white tip of the pointer towards the

center, and when you see it, tell us, okay?

See anything?

No.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Yes, now.

All right, let's try it from another angle.

Nothing yet.

Nothing. Nothing.

Okay, there it is.

It's like I was looking out of a window and somebody pulled the drapes closed on

both sides.

Am I going to be blind?

Well, not if we can help it. Why don't you just relax a minute, okay?

I just can't wait, John.

My vision is deteriorating too rapidly.

Has Malcolm been notified?

Yeah, you should be here by now. I'll check.

Okay, Denise, let's try it from another angle, okay?

Hotline, you've got a friend.

Yeah, and I also got a husband, and he's no friend, believe me. He won't even

talk to me.

Oh, that's horrible.

That ever happen to you?

I'm not married.

I think I should leave him. Are you sure you're not overreacting?

Are you saying I shouldn't leave him?

Well, I don't think it's my place to say.

I thought you were supposed to give me some advice.

Um, have you figured out why he won't talk to you anymore?

Because I want to pursue a new career.

Oh, a woman has a right to her own life.

I gotta be me.

A woman's place isn't in the home, it's in the world.

Right. I gotta be a wife second and a woman first.

What do you want to be? A G-man.

So anyway, the guy said he was going to kill somebody.

And you have no idea who it was?

A crank, hopefully. I told the police about it, but they couldn't do anything.

And it gives you the creeps.

Speaking of creeps, if you're so crazy about phones, why don't you have one?

Every time I need you, I have to send a foot messenger to the Titanic, and that

went out with the ancient books.

I guess I never thought about it. Well, look into it, will you? I hear they have

a new model. It's just like Little Boat Pete. It starts.

I know, I know. You're waiting for Malcolm.

So am I. I've been calling all morning.

Well, doesn't his wife know where he is?

The hotel can't get through to anybody.

Nobody answers that stupid phone.

Where's the state?

The Dunbar Hotel.

See ya.

Okay, fine. You told me why you want to work for the FBI.

But you haven't told me why your husband's against it.

Well, I think he's afraid it'll interfere with his career.

In what way?

Well, I'd probably have to arrest him.

Arrest him?

Yeah, he runs this little bookie operation behind the barbershop. Oh,

well, I could see his point.

Whose side are you on?

I try to remain objective.

Well, don't you have any opinions?

Well, I don't want to influence you.

Well, then what the hell am I calling you for?

Well, I'm sorry.

Okay, okay.

Settle down. I won't bite.

Hey, maybe I could toughen you up a little.

Look, that really isn't necessary.

Look, don't be defensive about this.

Well, who's being defensive? I just... You need help, all right. You better

call me. You got a pencil?

Well, uh, yes.

The number here is 555... Oh, wait, I can't read this.

555-8966.

I'll be back here in about two hours on my next break.

Now, you be sure and call me, okay?

Well, if it'll make you feel better. No, I am trying to make you feel better.

Talk to you later. Bye-bye.

Just a minute.

Oh, I thought you were room service. I'm Dr. Gates, Mrs. Malcolm, San Francisco

Memorial Hospital. Is your husband in?

Oh, no.

No, my husband isn't here right now. I'm sorry. We've been calling all morning.

No one's been picking up the phone. Oh, well, we've been having problems with

the telephone. Did you get any of our messages?

No, you see, I've been out for a while. Do you have any idea where we can reach

your husband? Well, no, not at the moment. If we don't reach him, there's a

19-year-old girl who may lose her sight. She may even die.

Well, I'm sure he will be calling in very soon. Calling in from where?

Mrs. Malcolm, we have to know where you are. For heaven's sakes, I told you that

I expect to hear from him. I don't know what more I can do for you than that.

All right.

Thank you.

Camera repairman.

Beg your pardon?

Your husband, he... He said he was a camera repairman.

Dr. Gates, I'm not sure what you're talking about, and I'm sorry, I don't

have time to listen right now, so if you will just please... Wait a minute.

If your husband isn't available, Mrs. Malcolm, then you've got to tell me now.

There's a patient in that hospital... I told you that he will be available!

When? Well, I... I don't know. Soon.

Dr. Gates!

Dr. Gates, wait a minute!

I, uh... I don't think that my husband will be able to help you.

Why not?

Get some black coffee.

Go on, get it. A lot of it.

Trapper, have you called Dr. Malcolm?

We can't reach him. We can't delay any longer.

I've only done Malcolm's procedure in the lab. I've read his articles. I don't

know if I can handle it.

At this point, Werner, you are all we have got.

I'm putting on a ticket.

Uh, look, let me explain. I usually have an assigned parking space, but I gave it

to a friend today, and I knew my time was running out, so I ran all the way

here, and I'm just one minute late.

Sorry.

What does that say?

Expired. Does it say almost made it? Does it say only one minute late?

Oh, I hate your kind of mentality.

Uh-huh. Uh, mindless, nitpicking, three-wheeled civil servant. Right?

Right. Good.

I'll remember that the next time I see your car.

Roger.

Good. Very good. Looks like you're almost there.

I'm exposing the dura now.

I have to bite away a little more of the anterior wall of the sphenoid.

Trevor, Malcolm's here.

Yeah, it's about time. We'll have him scrub up quick. Be quick. He's doing it

now. Be right here.

Okay, let's go.

I can't go in there.

You have to.

Be reasonable.

You know I'm in no condition to help that girl or anybody else for that

matter.

Look at me.

I'm a hopeless drunk.

Go on.

Now, go on.

Tumor's exposed.

You can take over now, Dr. Malcolm.

Dr. Malcolm is going to talk you through his procedure, gentlemen.

Step by step.

But this is your technique.

You can do it, Werner. All you need is a proper coaching.

Right, Dr. Malcolm?

Yes.

That's right.

Okay, Warner, let's go.

Any difficulty so far?

So far, everything's been by the book.

Fine.

All right.

Now we're going to pull the tumor down and tease it out of there.

Good.

The tumor's collapsing.

Keep pulling down the stalk.

Hmm. A lot of fluid in there.

Here's the suction.

That's part of the tumor.

It'll collapse more as you keep pulling it down.

Gently now.

Gently.

Gently.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm waiting on someone.

Well, so am I. She asked me to call her. Well, can you use the one around the

corner?

Uh-uh, uh-uh. I got dibs on the phone.

Oh, it's you.

Ah, look, doll.

Listen, I gave you that ticket in the line of duty. Now give me a break. I am

waiting for a call from a very mixed-up kid. That's a public phone, and I don't

owe you any favors.

This is an emergency. Do not do it for me. Do it for this troubled person.

I... I happen to be calling a very disturbed woman who might be on the

brink of an emotional collapse.

I'm not talking about a mixed-up kid. I'm talking about an emotional cripple.

Write her a letter.

Look it, I don't care. Listen, you want to use the phone? Use the phone. But I

want you off in 60 seconds. Right.

Yes, operator. I'm having trouble reaching 555-8966. I'll check that

number for you. Thank you.

What did you just do?

The G-Man?

An emotional cripple?

A mixed-up kid?

Dr.

Gates, is it over?

Almost.

Oh, I hope to God that it's over for Phil.

Why couldn't you people leave him alone?

Didn't he give enough of himself when he was a whole man in control?

A man with his talent, his knowledge.

How do you leave a man like that alone?

I knew he needed help.

I just... I just couldn't stand for anybody to see him like that.

All I could do is protect him from the world, from himself.

Mark.

The girl, is she? She's beautiful.

We owe a lot of thanks to Malcolm.

For public speaking.

Darling, I... I talked Dr. Totson and Trapper through it.

They did a fine job.

And I want to thank you, young man.

For what?

There's always been a gray area in medical practice, just how to tell a

doctor he's washed up.

But you gave me the chance to bow out in style, and I'm grateful.

Oh, no, darling.

You are not going to bow out.

Now you're going to get the help that you need.

You're going to go back to work the way you should.

In style?

In style.

Excuse us.

And you saw yourself, Stanley. We provide a great public service.

It is strictly Mickey Mouse. Stop using a public phone for crying out loud. It

was good enough for that ten-year-old boy, not to mention the priest, the

meter maid, the stand-up comic. It is shabby, Doctor.

Shabby, shabby, shabby. Now, I've spoken to Dad, and he is willing to allocate $5

,000 to set up something really decent.

Really? Yes. Dr. Stanley Riverside. Right here.

Officer.

Is it true you recently used public telephone equipment in locating a 10

-year-old Berkeley runaway named Tommy Regan?

Who, me?

You are Dr.

Riverside. No.

Yes, I am, but I had nothing to do with it. It was him, that man right there. We

were told to look up Dr.

Riverside. No, it's a mistake.

You must mean Dr. Gates.

There, Dr. Gates. That's me.

Well, in that case, Dr. Gates, the department would like to award you this

citation for civic heroism.

Bill? Hey.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Okay, joke's over. I'm the guy you were looking for. Stanley, could you

gentlemen please make up your minds? After all, I'm the one who was

instrumental in... Wait a minute.

There's someone who deserves this award a lot more than we do. Who?

Follow me.

I can see it right there.

Beautiful.

From all indications, the operation did exactly what it was supposed to do.

Your visual fields are almost normal.

And I'm not paralyzed.

You're blind or dead.

Gentlemen, there is our herald.

We never would have thought of the hotline if it hadn't been for Miss

Denise Calloway. This citation rightfully belongs to her.

All right.

What's it mean?

That means you'll never be put on hold again.

Hey, beautiful.

So, what's for lunch? Tuna fish.

What, again?

I've got a vintage Chablis to go with it.

I thought you were going to answer it.

Hey Trapper, it's for you.