Original subtitles

TONE?

CAN YOU ROUND UP THE CREW?

TONE?

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

JACK!

OH, JEEZ! Jack: COMING!

♪ CRAZY ♪

♪ HEY, BUT THAT'S HOW IT GOES ♪

♪ MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ♪

♪ LIVIN' AS FOES ♪

♪ BUT MAYBE ♪

♪ IT'S NOT TOO LATE ♪

♪ TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE ♪

♪ AND FORGET HOW TO HATE ♪

Sharon: OZZY AND I ARE GONNA RENEW OUR VOWS

WITH ALL OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

NEW YEAR'S EVE, WE'RE RENEWING OUR WEDDING VOWS.

MY DAD'S GONNA WALK ME DOWN THE AISLE.

OH!

ROBERT AND JACK ARE USHERS.

YOU ARE THE FLOWER GIRL?

YES. YOU'RE KIDDING.

[ LAUGHS ]

I HEAR YOU MIGHT BE RE-- REDOING YOUR WEDDING VOWS.

OH, DON'T (bleep) REMIND ME.

[ LAUGHS ]

AND GUESS -- LISTEN TO THIS.

UM, I'M HAVING, LIKE, A LITTLE MOCK-UP OF RODEO DRIVE,

AND ASPREY IS GIVING AWAY A 2-CARAT DIAMOND,

AND YOU HAVE TO WIN -- GET THE WINNING TICKET.

I HOPE I WIN. OH, MY GOD.

IF YOU CRY, I WILL THROW UP, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT JEWISH,

AND YOU'RE HAVING A (bleep) RABBI RENEW YOUR VOWS.

I'M HALF JEWISH. NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOUR MOTHER WAS NOT JEWISH, AND YOU'RE NOT JEWISH.

I'M NOT JEWISH, JACK'S NOT JEWISH, AND DAD IS NOT JEWISH.

I'M -- I'M -- I'M NOT -- I'M NOT JEWISH, YOU KNOW.

MY WIFE'S GOT CRUCIFIXES COMING OUT OF HER ASS.

MY FATHER IS INCREDIBLY JEWISH.

♪ WHY DON'T YOU GIVE A YIDDISH BOY A CHANCE? ♪

IN THE JEWISH RELIGION, YOUR MOTHER HAS TO BE JEWISH FOR YOU TO BE JEWISH.

(bleep) MADONNA'S JEWISH.

ANYBODY CAN TURN JEWISH.

UM, I FEEL MORE JEWISH THAN I DO ANYTHING ELSE.

YEAH, BECAUSE YOU'RE SO (bleep) DRAMATIC, THAT'S WHY.

AND THAT'S YOUR EXCUSE -- "I'M A JEW."

OH, KELLY.

DAD'S THE MOST UN-JEWISH PERSON IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD,

AND YOU'VE GOT SOME, LIKE --

UH, EXCUSE ME, BUT MY HUSBAND IS CIRCUMCISED.

B-BEFORE I KNOW IT, SHE GOES, "I WANT A JEWISH RABBI."

I GO...HANG ON A MINUTE.

WHY HAVE I SPENT $8 MILLION CONVERTING MY HOUSE

INTO THE (bleep) SMALL VATICAN IN BEVERLY HILLS?

AND YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE (bleep) STARS

ALL OVER THE (bleep) PLACE NOW.

Melinda: JACK, ARE YOU GONNA LET ME HIT YOUR BROWS AGAIN?

HE NEEDS IT RIGHT NOW. YEAH. NO.

I NEED MINE DONE, TOO.

JACK, DON'T YOU TAKE ANY PRIDE IN THE WAY YOU LOOK? I DO.

PLEASE DO THEM. I'M JUST, LIKE --

JACK, YOU LOOK -- DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?

YOU LOOK LIKE A (bleep) PERSIAN-CARPET SALESMAN WITH THOSE EYEBROWS.

PUT IT THIS WAY -- I'M NOT GONNA DO IT AT THIS VERY MOMENT,

BUT I'M GONNA DO IT BEFORE THE WEDDING.

JACK, DON'T YOU HAVE PRIDE? DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT GOING --

YOU'VE GOT THE (bleep) BIGGEST UNI-BROW IN THE WORLD.

I'LL DO IT WHEN I GET OUT OF THE SHOWER. (bleep)

[ BELL DINGS ] I WANT TO TAKE A SHOWER 'CAUSE I REALLY STINK.

IT'S UNCALLED FOR.

LET ME SMELL.

SMELL. IT'S REALLY UNCALLED FOR.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT PEACHY.

Jack: HEY, GUYS.

HI, HOLMES. HEY. YOU ALONE?

Jack: MY FRIEND ANGELINA. I SMELLED YOUR SISTER'S ARMPIT.

Kelly: SMELL THEM. YOU LOVE ME. NO, I'M NOT -- I'M NOT --

YOU LOVE ME. YOU LOVE ME. KELLY.

I WON'T SMELL MY OWN PARTS. YOU LOVE ME. YOU LOVE ME.

CHECK THAT OUT. LOOK, CHECK IT OUT. RIGHT THERE.

JUST POINT IT DOWN LIKE YOU WERE, BUT DOWN THERE.

WHAT ABOUT MY ARMPIT? IT SMELLS REALLY NICE.

I WILL SLAP YOUR ARMPIT AND HURT YOUR GLAND.

[ WATER RUNNING ]

ARE YOU A MORMON?

MY BOYFRIEND'S A MORMON.

I KNOW. I HEARD.

THEY'RE VERY, VERY SWEET PEOPLE.

'CAUSE THEY'RE PERFECT HUMANS.

NO ONE'S PERFECT.

MORMONS ARE.

NO, THEY'RE NOT.

OH, MY GOD.

I GO, "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?" AND SHE GOES, "ANGELINA."

I'M LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU DO?" AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME.

"HOW OLD ARE YOU?" AND SHE GOES, "22."

AND I'M LIKE, "WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH JACK?"

AND SHE'S A MORMON.

YEAH, SO? YOU'D THINK THAT THEY'D BE BROUGHT UP BETTER THAN THAT.

I MEAN, IF I WAS MORMON --

BUT WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT SHE'S JACK'S FRIEND'S EX-GIRLFRIEND.

THAT'S SHADY OF JACK.

WELL, YOUR BROTHER HAS THE TENDENCY

OF HITTING ON LEFTOVERS.

I'VE SEEN THAT BEFORE.

YOU REMEMBER THAT (bleep) OTHER CHICK?

I WENT IN TO WAKE JACK NOT SO LONG AGO -- YOU TOLD ME.

AND THIS BLONDE WAS LYING ON JACK'S BED.

"GOOD MORNING." I SAID, "GOOD MORNING. IS JACK THERE?"

AND SHE'S LIKE, "YES. TIME TO GET UP NOW, JACK."

AND I, LIKE, LEAVE AND GO,

"WHAT THE (bleep) IS GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE?"

[ SNORING ]

IT'S LIKE A (bleep) BROTHEL.

JACKIE?

WHERE HAS JACKIE GONE?

WHERE HAS JACK GONE?

DID HE GO OUT?

OH, WHO'S BEEN IN THE BIN?

THAT'S DIS-- LOOK AT THAT!

A (bleep) CONDOM.

THAT'S NICE FOR MOTHER TO HAVE TO LIFT UP.

DID HE USE IT ON YOU, MINNIE?

LITTLE BASTARD. COME ON.

[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

TO BE TRUTHFUL, I'M NOT REALLY OVERLY EXCITED

ABOUT THE FACT I'M -- I'M RENEWING THE VOWS.

IT'S -- IT'S A BIT LATE.

LAST TIME WE WERE MARRIED,

WE NEVER SPENT THE NIGHT TOGETHER,

'CAUSE OZZY COLLAPSED IN THE HALLWAY

AND HE SLEPT IN THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE MY ROOM ALL NIGHT.

AND PEED HIMSELF.

AND SO WE NEVER HAD A-A REAL WEDDING NIGHT.

I-I ACTUALLY CARRIED HIM OVER THE THRESHOLD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

(bleep) WEDDING.

I DON'T HAVE T-- I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

I DON'T HAVE GIRLFRIENDS.

I DON'T LIKE GIRLFRIENDS.

GIRLFRIENDS INVOLVE TOO MUCH.

SO, THERE'S, LIKE, FOUR OR FIVE GIRLS IN HEAVY ROTATION.

I'M A MAN WHORE.

I'M A SHE-BITCH MAN WHORE. [ LAUGHS ]

♪ I DIG CHICKS ♪

♪ A CHICK'S A MAN'S BEST FRIEND ♪

♪ I DIG CHICKS ♪

♪ TO ME, CHICKS ARE THE END ♪

♪ I DIG DOLLS ♪

♪ THAT'S HOW I GET MY KICKS ♪

♪ WEAK ONES, STRONG ONES, RIGHT ONES, WRONG ONES ♪

♪ I DIG CHICKS ♪

♪ I DIG POLLY AND MOLLY ♪

♪ AND, BY GOLLY, I DIG MILDRED, TOO ♪

♪ I DIG JANIE AND MAISIE ♪

♪ I GO CRAZY OVER QUITE A FEW ♪

♪ I DIG BETTY AND BOBBIE ♪

♪ MAN, WHAT A HOBBY ♪

♪ DOLLS ARE REALLY FINE ♪

♪ I DIG GERTRUDE AND TILLY, IT MAY SOUND SILLY ♪

♪ I WISH THEY ALL WERE MINE ♪

OW!

BYE, JACK.

Jack: BYE, DARLINGS.

Sharon: JACK, HAVE YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND?

NO.

WHY?

I THINK YOU SHOULD BE SETTLING DOWN NOW.

I GET BORED.

GET A HOUSE, GET A WIFE, GET SOME CHILDREN.

I MAY BE MAKING MORE MONEY THAN MOST 35-YEAR-OLDS,

BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM 35.

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE A STEADY GIRLFRIEND, THOUGH, JACK?

I GET BORED REALLY EASILY.

WHY?

BECAUSE. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

IS IT YOUR A.D.D.?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE (bleep) IT IS, BUT I GET REALLY BORED.

WELL, KELLY'S THE SAME WAY.

THAT'S WHY I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT BERT. BUT WITH FRIENDS, I'M TOTALLY FINE.

LIKE, FRIENDS I CAN -- WHATEVER.

BUT IT'S, LIKE, JUST THE IDEA -- IT JUST GETS --

IT GETS TOO CLAUSTROPHOBIC. I'M JUST, LIKE (bleep) IT.

[ BUZZING ]

YOUR HUSBAND'S SHAVING HIS CHEST. [ LAUGHS ]

Sharon: OZZY, PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

OZZY, PLEASE.

I GOT IT.

I THINK WE'VE GOT A CUT.

OH, OZZY, DON'T SHAVE YOUR PUBIES.

[ CHUCKLES ] LEAVE IT LIKE THAT.

THAT'S GOOD. OH! OZZY --

NO, THAT'S GOOD.

THERE'S ONE LEFT. THERE'S A BIG WHITE ONE. OZZY, YOU LOOK ABOUT 21.

YEAH. YOU BETTER WAX ME NOW.

OH, THAT (bleep) HURTS.

I LIKE PAIN.

DADDY, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR TESTICLES DONE?

IN THE BEGINNING, OR --

MY TESTICLES? (bleep)

WHAT'S A TESTICLE?

OH, MY GOD! PLEASE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OZZY, HAVE A -- HAVE A BRAZILIAN.

NO, OZZY, OZZY, PLEASE DON'T. STOP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, THIS IS GONNA HURT.

OW!

Sharon: JACK, YOU SHOULD WAX YOUR MUSTACHE.

YOU SHOULD (bleep) OFF. WHOO!

NO, IF YOU WAX YOUR MUSTACHE,

IT WON'T GROW BACK SO QUICK.

OW! (bleep) THAT HURT!

DO HIS LEGS, BAREEBA.

LET'S GIVE JACK BIKINI WAX.

[ LAUGHS ]

BIKINI WAX?

ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE, I'M DONE.

LET ME SEE.

LET ME SEE.

T-THEY'RE TOO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER.

LET ME SEE.

MUM, I DON'T WANT TO BE TOO (bleep) GROOMED.

♪ DUM DA-DUM ♪

I GOT A (bleep) WHITE BELLY, MAN.

[ To tune of "No More Lonely Nights" ] ♪ NO MORE PUBIC HAIRS ♪

♪ NO MORE PUBIC... ♪

WHOA.

I GOT A (bleep) 21-YEAR-OLD (bleep) CHEST, SEE?

AND LOOK AT IT -- NO HAIRS.

[ SIGHS ]

(bleep) GREAT.

IT'S (bleep) CHAMPION.

[ SIGHS ]

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT?

LOOK AT MY PAJAMAS.

YOU AND YOUR SHAVED CHEST,

AND I'VE GOT CATS AND DOGS AND BONES.

CAN I JUST ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?

YES.

WHY DO WE HAVE THREE BROWN FINGERS?

THREE BR--

OH.

BECAUSE I PUT BROWN DYE IN MY HAIR.

AND YOU WERE SCRATCHING.

I'LL GET IT OUT WITH NAIL-POLISH REMOVER.

I'LL GET SOME NOW FOR YOU.

'CAUSE THE LONGER IT STAYS IN,

THE LONGER IT STAINS.

I WAS SCRATCHING MY ASS, YOU THINK?

[ LAUGHING ]

[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

WE'RE READY. MINNIE? OH!

MINNIE?

I'LL JUST CALL HIM AND TELL HIM WE'RE LEAVING NOW.

ALL RIGHT. MINNIE! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS, MINNIE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME SHARON'S IN THAT ROOM,

BUT WHEN SHE'S IN THAT ROOM UPSTAIRS,

WE CAN GO TO THAT OTHER HOLDING AREA,

WHICH IS JUST A LITTLE SMALL CORNER. WHAT'S THIS MYSTIQUE FOR?

I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO HER FOR 20 --

WELL, SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE THE DRESS, OZZ.

I-I-I DON'T WANT TO GO. I D-DON'T WANT TO SEE THE (bleep) CEREMONY.

I DON'T WANT TO GO.

OH. WELL, I THINK THAT'S A BIT OF A PROBLEM.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU.

♪ I MET A CHICK WHO WAS REAL GREAT ♪

♪ DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH ♪

♪ AND I FIXED UP FOR A STEADY DATE ♪

♪ DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH DAY ♪

AH!

OH...MY...GOD.

LOOK!

OH! AREN'T THESE MAGNIFICENT!

SHARON, COME OUT HERE.

OH, MY GOD!

WHO DID THAT? LOOK AT THIS.

♪ DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH ♪

IT'S YOUR SPECIAL LIKENESSES.

TONY, I'M SO EXCITED!

I NEED TO GET BACK FOR OZZY BECAUSE I'VE GOT TO GET HIM ORGANIZED AND GET HIM OVER HERE.

♪ WHILE SHE WAS SITTIN' NEAR ♪

♪ GOT A HOT TIP ♪

HE HATES COMING OUT OF HIS (bleep) HOUSE.

HE HATES COMING OUT.

HE'S LIKE, "ALL THOSE PEOPLE, I DON'T KNOW ANYONE."

I'M LIKE, "YOU KNOW EVERY ONE OF THEM."

Ozzy: I'M NOT DRINKING.

I REALIZE THAT I'VE GOT TO BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR TODAY.

YOU FEELING OKAY? I'M A BIT NERVOUS.

WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

NOW, THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET UP THERE.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO DO.

I'M GONNA WALK OUT WITH YOU GUYS, IN FACT.

I'M GONNA BE -- I'M GONNA WALK OUT

WITH YOU AND JACK IN THE VERY BEGINNING.

YEAH. SO, I'LL TELL YOU WHERE TO STAND.

I'LL HAVE YOU COME UP THERE.

I'M GONNA JUST ASK YOU, AND YOU'RE GONNA SAY "I DO."

THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO. BUT I DON'T.

BUT YOU HAVE TO SAY "I DO." [ BOTH LAUGHING ]

WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF THEY SAID "I DO" AND I SAID "I DON'T"?

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU'RE MY KIND OF RABBI.

YES. L'CHAIM, AS WE SAY IN HEBREW. YES.

TO LIFE.

[ VIOLIN PLAYING SOFTLY ]

I want to pee.

OH.

IT'S ALL THE WAY OUT IN THE LOBBY, DAD. LET'S GET A CUP.

MM.

MM.

MMM. MMM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YO, OZZY! YEAH, BABY!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WHO'S THAT?

OZZY COMING IN.

[ CLASSICAL VERSION OF "DREAMER" PLAYING ]

[ SPECTATORS MURMURING ]

NOW, IN JEWISH TRADITION, WINE IS A SYMBOL OF JOY.

AH, I KNEW IT.

I KNEW YOU --

[ LAUGHTER ]

I KNEW YOU WERE WAITING FOR THAT.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

I LIKE THIS GUY.

I TOLD YOU YOU COULD TRUST ME.

SO, UH...

AND THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST JOYOUS...

THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE,

SO I'M GOING TO HAND EACH OF YOU A CUP WITH WINE IN IT,

AND I'LL HOLD THE THIRD THAT'S EMPTY.

AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA POUR FROM THOSE TWO INTO THE THIRD,

AND THAT'S THE CUP THAT I'LL BLESS,

AND THEN I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU TO DRINK, OKAY?

REAL WINE?

YEAH, REAL WINE. RIGHT. I KNOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

TAKE A SIP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH, GET SOME MORE. THERE WE GO. BEAUTIFUL.

[ LAUGHS ]

GOOD, I NEED THAT FOR LATER.

HANG ON.

♪ BARUKH AT-- ♪ WAIT.

♪ BARUKH ATAH ADONAI ELOHEINU MELECH HAOLAM ♪

♪ BOREI PRI HAGAFEN ♪

EVERYONE SAY AMEN.

AMEN. AMEN. AMEN. AMEN.

THANK YOU.

OKAY. NOW YOU CAN DRINK, BUT JUST SAVE SOME FOR SHARON.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

DO I HAVE TO?

YEAH.

THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU ALCOHOLIC.

[ CHUCKLES ] GOOD.

SO, OZZY, DO YOU CHOOSE SHARON ONCE AGAIN

TO BE YOUR WIFE AND LIFE COMPANION?

I DO.

SHARON, DO YOU ONCE AGAIN CHOOSE OZZY

TO BE YOUR HUSBAND AND YOUR LIFE COMPANION?

I DO, FOREVER.

I KNOW THERE ARE SOME ADDITIONAL WORDS, A VOW,

THAT SHARON IS GOING TO SHARE WITH YOU, OZZY,

TO SYMBOLIZE YOUR LOVE TOGETHER.

MY DARLING OZZY,

FOR 20 YEARS YOU'VE BEEN MY LIFE PARTNER.

WE HAVE SHARED JOYS, SORROWS, TRIUMPH, AND TRAGEDY,

AND EVERY DAY WITH YOU IN MY LIFE

IS A BLESSING BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS.

THANK YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE,

FOR ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN ME,

AND FOR ALL THAT WE WILL SHARE TOGETHER

EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANY WORDS AND ANY VOWS AND ANY POETRY

COULD EVER CAPTURE.

I AM PRIVILEGED TO BE YOUR WIFE.

AND THANK YOU FOR MY BABIES.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN SPOKEN THE WORDS

AND PERFORMED THE RITES

THAT RECOMMIT YOUR LIVES IN MARRIAGE.

SO, I HAVE THE GREAT PLEASURE AND THE GREAT PRIVILEGE

TO DECLARE ONCE AGAIN YOU, OZZY, AND YOU, SHARON,

TO BE REMARRIED AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.

NOW I WANT YOU TO TURN AND KISS EACH OTHER ONCE AGAIN.

THERE WE GO. [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

20 YEARS OF PRACTICE, I KNOW.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA PUT THESE GLASSES ON THE GROUND.

YOU'RE BOTH GONNA WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS OUT OF THE WAY.

AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA SEE ABOUT -- TRY TO STEP ON THESE GLASSES.

THAT WILL MARK THE CONCLUSION OF THE CEREMONY.

OKAY. RIGHT THERE.

SEE IF YOU CAN BOTH STEP ON THEM. READY...GO.

STOMP. [ GLASS BREAKING ] OH!

MAZEL TOV. WE RISE TO GREET THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

[ APPLAUSE ]

Together: ♪ HAVA NAGILA ♪

♪ HAVA NAGILA ♪

♪ HAVA NAGILA ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

OH, HERE WE GO. I'M GLAD I SAID HELLO NOW.

THAT'S IT. HERE WE GO.

[ Slurring ] ♪ HAVA ♪ HA HA. ♪ NAGILA ♪

♪ YOU CAN BEST BELIEVE THAT HE'S A MACHO MAN ♪

♪ READY TO GET DOWN WITH ANYONE HE CAN ♪

♪ HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! ♪

♪ MACHO, MACHO MAN ♪

AAAAH!

MWAH!

NO TONGUE!

SHARON, HELP!

THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

♪ I'VE GOT TO BE A MACHO, OW! ♪

♪ MACHO, MACHO MAN, YEAH ♪

Jack: PLEASE DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, LADIES.

WE WON'T, JACK.

OH, YEAH.

YOU KNOW YOUR SISTER'S IN LOVE WITH ME?

IS SHE, NOW? YES, SHE IS.

WOW.

OZZY!

I AM SURROUNDED BY LADIES. I FEEL SO HONORED.

I LOVE THE LADIES! LADIES!

[ STRIPPER MUSIC PLAYING ]

OH, MY GOD. HELLO.

YOU'RE SO (bleep) HANDSOME, I CAN'T STAND IT.

OH, THANK YOU.

HOW ARE YOU? YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.

OH, LOOK AT THIS BOY.

[ LAUGHING ]

OH, MY GOD.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

OH, PLEASE MARRY MY DAUGHTER.

[ LAUGHS ]

♪ SAN FRANCISCO ♪

♪ YOU'VE GOT ME ♪ ♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ OH, YOU GOT ME ♪

♪ SAN FRANCISCO ♪ ♪ WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL ♪

♪ SAN FRANCISCO ♪

♪ SAN FRANCISCO ♪

♪ TAKE ME TO THE WATER, BABY, COME ON ♪

♪ SAN FRANCISCO ♪

♪ HEY, HEY, HEY ♪

♪ YOU GOT ME ♪ ♪ GOT ME ♪

♪ GOT ME, GOT ME, BABY ♪

All: FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!

WHERE'S OZZY? LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

JUST LOOK AT THIS. OH, HE'S IMPOSSIBLE.

JUST LOOK AT THIS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. BUT THAT'S WHAT MEN DO.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING --

THIS IS HOW WE SPENT OUR FIRST WEDDING,

BUT HE WAS IN THE HALLWAY.

THIS IS MY WEDDING NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]

TAKE IT FROM HERE. THERE'S MORE LIGHT FROM THERE.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

LOOK AT HIM.

THIS IS THE PHOTO OF THE NIGHT, ISN'T IT?

HE IS SO TIRED.

TWICE IN MY LIFE. [ LAUGHS ]

I THINK I'M GONNA GET SHTUPPED, AND HE'S OUT.

[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]

THIS ONE IS FOR THE NECKLACE-AND-EARRING SET.

326305.

WHOO-HOO!

LET ME SEE YOUR TICKET. HERE WE GO.

AND WE HAVE A MATCH.

CONGRATULATIONS. [ LAUGHING ]

I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD THIS IS A $15,000 NECKLACE-AND-EARRING SET.

THANK YOU, SHARON, JACK...

AIMEE. AIMEE...

OZZY, AND WHAT'S THE GIRL'S NAME?

AND, UM, SHARON, AND --

OZZY. [ LAUGHS ]

KELLY AND OZZY. DON'T FORGET OZZY.

AND OZZY. [ LAUGHS ]

AND THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS TO US.

AND THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS TO ME.

SHE'S VERY EXCITED. 2003, WE LOVE YOU.

BYE!

EHHH!

I'M RENEWING THE VOWS. IT'S -- IT'S A BIT LATE.