Original subtitles

(BELL TOLLING)

-Good morning, Mr. Roarke. -Good morning, Lawrence.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles!

(♪♪)

LAWRENCE: I believe that's Audrey and Judy Jennings, sir.

Sisters, of course.

Yes, Lawrence, they have arrived at the conclusion

that nobody ever takes a pretty girl seriously.

LAWRENCE: And what is their fantasy, sir?

To show the world that, uh,

they are more than just pretty faces.

Not to mention figures.

And there'll be no unexpected complications?

I didn't say that, Lawrence.

Their fantasy may well have all those elements

so dear to your heart.

Perhaps, even more.

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Wilson.

They don't seem like the happiest couple

to arrive on Fantasy Island.

Yes, Lawrence.

Mrs. Wilson is worried because her husband has never been able to satisfy his ambition

to be a dancing star

like his childhood idol, the great Bojangles.

LAWRENCE: A lofty ambition indeed.

And his fantasy, sir?

Mr. Wilson's fantasy is to make up for all the years of failure

by dancing, not like Bojangles, but, uh...

...actually performing with the great entertainer himself.

And why should such a fantasy distress Mrs. Wilson?

Because she fears her husband's fantasy

will kill him.

And she may be right.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

And now, ladies, uh,

don't you think it's time to explain

why you really came to Fantasy Island.

Mr. Roarke, you know what we want.

We want to be taken seriously.

But isn't what you really want

a little more complicated than that?

Your true fantasy is not so much

that the world take you seriously,

but that you take yourselves seriously.

To truly accept yourselves as competent people.

Not just, uh, pretty faces. Isn't that it?

Look, nine out of ten men think that every woman

with a nice face and a good figure is...

...just a bimbo.

And we're not bimbos.

Certainly not.

You'll never prove that with a feeble attempt

to disguise yourselves with a pair of glasses

and a scarf.

Haven't you surrendered

before the battle has even begun?

-(BOTH BEGIN TO LAUGH) -ROARKE: Hmm?

Bravo, ladies. If you've got it, flaunt it.

ROARKE: In the case of the Jennings sisters,

you're absolutely right, Lawrence.

And now, ladies, um... Oh, don't bother unpacking.

Put the bags in the car, will you?

Lawrence and I will pick you up

in precisely...

...47 minutes.

Be prepared for a new adventure.

Mr. Wilson, Mrs. Wilson... It is obvious you two disagree

over the advisability of this fantasy, don't you?

Right. Look, Mr. Roarke,

Joe has a heart about as reliable

as a kid sending home money from college.

Dori, I'm sure Mr. Roarke doesn't stay in business

killing off his customers, right?

Right.

Excuse me, sir.

You've had opportunities, Mr. Wilson.

Dancing in a chorus line or in specialty acts

is just as strenuous as dancing alone.

So, it hasn't been only your heart condition, has it?

I don't know, uh, what it's been, Mr. Roarke

Uh...

Luck, maybe.

Being in the right place at the right time.

Maybe just getting a break. You know what I mean?

I see.

Well, you are now on Fantasy Island.

So, you're in the right place.

Perhaps, your fantasy itself will provide what you call...

Luck.

Dori...

I want you with me.

That's got to be part of it, Mr. Roarke.

In that case, um...

Will you be kind enough to step through that doorway?

What, that door?

Yes, hmm.

(JAZZ PIANO AND TAP DANCING) (LAUGHING)

MAN: A lil stop-time.

(LAUGHS)

Ooh, yessir.

Stop.

Oh, that's him!

That's him, Dori! That's Bojangles!

That's it. That's it. Now, that's exactly

what I want to happen, see?

-Wow... -Mr. Roarke did it, Dori.

We're back when Bojangles was alive.

AUDREY: Thank you.

Oh...

This place is so beautiful, Mr. Roarke.

Yes, you will be staying at the North Shore Hotel, ladies.

Managed for me by Mr. Rex Reinhardt.

Wait a minute.

You mean the Rex Reinhardt who used to play

the jungle man character on TV when we were kids?

Oh, yeah. People used to call him the "Bargain Basement Cowboy."

I suggest you forget that appellation, ladies.

Mr. Reinhardt is rather sensitive about it.

Howdy, Mr. Roarke.

Well, it's good to see you again.

Good to see you.

Uh, may I introduce Miss Audrey Jennings.

Well, how-d'ya-do?

And her sister, Miss Judy Jennings.

How do you do?

ROARKE: Mr. Rex Reinhardt.

Well, Mr. Roarke...

What have you brought me here, huh?

Two, beautiful little fillies, huh.

Two, very talented young ladies

seeking new horizons and new opportunities.

Can you sing?

Uh-huh... One other thing. Can you talk?

Oh, yes. When we have the chance.

Quite charmingly, I might add.

Well, all right, Larry! Right, yeah...

And how 'bout you, honey?

Yes, I talk.

And I remember, too. Like, when I was a little girl

and you were on TV, and people used to call you...

Ah, yes, Miss Jennings, yes.

And now, Mr. Reinhardt...

As you can see, both ladies have voices, um...

Larry and I must return to our duties.

And I'll see to it that they don't give me any trouble.

And vice-versa, Mr. Roarke.

Yeah, especially vice-versa.

-(LAUGHING) -REX: Come with me,

-and I'll show you your bungalows. -AUDREY: Okay.

-Come on. -(GUNSHOT)

AUDREY: Oh, my God!

(HORRIFIED) Oh!

(JAZZ DRUMMING)

(JAZZ PLAYING) (TAPPING)

♪ The good guy is the only cloud I have over my head

♪ And when I'm weary Mother Nature makes me a bed

♪ Oh ♪

A lil stop-time.

(LAUGHS)

It looks so easy.

No visitors, sorry.

Oh, you're Joe Wilson.

Yeah, that's me, but, uh, how did you know?

Your agent, uh... Some cat named "Roarke"

sent Bojangles your picture.

(CHUCKLING) That's me.

You as good as this letter says you are?

He's better, mister.

That's what they all say, lady.

(APPLAUSE)

Hey, you guys take five, huh? Marvelous.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta be Joe Wilson, huh?

I know you, but...

I don't think I know who this pretty young lady is.

(LAUGHING) I'm Doris Wilson.

I come with him. We're matched-paired...

-Mr. and Mrs. -(LAUGHING)

You, uh... You don't know what this means to me.

I, I mean, actually...

If what I've heard from your press agent is true,

you gonna be doing a number with me

in this motion picture that we're making.

I only ask one favor.

You be nice to an old man, now.

Oh, no, I saw you out there. Are you kidding?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Let's see what the man can do. Seeing is believing, Bo.

Yeah, you're right about that. But, uh, we got time for that.

-I wanna steal your husband for a minute. -Oh...

I want you to meet some of the musicians, some of the best in the world.

My husband is a nice man, and he's paid his dues.

You know what I mean?

I paid my dues too, Mrs. Wilson.

20 years dancin' in joints, washing dishes in between gigs.

Bojangles said this was gonna be my big chance...

...'til he got this letter 'bout your husband.

I hope you understand.

Rex.

I just heard what happened. Are you alright?

Yes, I'm fine, Hawk. I'm fine, thanks.

This is my pal, Hawkins.

He's head of security around here.

This is Audrey and Judy, the Jennings sisters.

-Hi. -They're gonna be putting on

a show for us tonight.

I wanna check into this. So, we've gotta talk.

Well, later on will be soon enough.

Old Hawk here and myself, we go back many years.

He was my stunt double for me on my show.

I couldn't get along without him.

Your taste is certainly improving, Mr. Reinhardt.

This is the Jennings sisters, Mr. Childress.

Hi...

Why don't you both call me "Charles?"

(CHUCKLES)

-Charles Childress, the author? -Yes.

You wrote Chained Lightning, didn't you?

CHARLES: (CHUCKLING) Guilty.

I've read every one of your books.

Well, ladies, you're wasting your time

if you're discussing literature with the present company.

I suspect the last thing Mr. Reinhardt ever read

was a biography,

Bargain Basement Cowboy. A tragedy.

That's a cheap shot. It was a hatchet job of a book

and I don't like to be reminded of it.

Ah, yes, I know. I know.

'Til later, ladies.

(CLEARS THROAT)

That man's got a hate going for me and...

...I don't know why.

(JAZZ PLAYING)

That's good, gentlemen. Thank you very much.

Well, Joe, if you're ready,

come on up here and show me what you can do.

-Yeah, sure. -Okay, then.

You just let it all go this time.

You can do it. Go ahead.

All right. Now, you know the guys

and the guys know you.

-Have fun. -Okay.

I'll be over here watching.

Okay, let's have it, uh, right in here...

(HUMMING THE BEAT)

(JAZZ PLAYING) (TAPPING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Relax. We're having fun.

One, two, a-one-two-three-four.

(MUSIC STARTS AGAIN)

(MUSIC STOPS)

I don't feel so good, you know?

Maybe I'd better get some air.

-Let him go. -But he looks sick.

He looks real sick. Maybe he needs a doctor.

No doctor can cure Joe's problem, Bo.

But thanks for caring.

I was just thinking.

Mr. Roarke said that he understood

what we really wanted.

Yeah, to take ourselves seriously, so that other people would, too.

And then he said to be ready for an adventure.

And Rex got shot at.

And Mr. Childress made all those cruel remarks about him.

Yeah. And what about Hawkins, the old stunt double pal?

I don't trust him.

No, me neither.

Where was he when that gun went off?

And if we are serious...

...and, uh, this is the "adventure" he meant.

Well then, you and I both know the easiest way for us to do a little homework.

Yeah. By, uh, being bimbos.

You got it.

You all right?

I been lookin' an hour for you.

I'm sorry, hon. I... I had to be by myself.

Look, Dori...

About what happened back there...

ROARKE: Just what did happen, Mr. Wilson?

-Mr. Roarke! -Oh, Mr. Roarke.

Am I glad to see you.

Apparently you had some problem

with your fantasy?

Um...

-It's not going to work. -Oh?

No, uh... Look, um...

The heck with the rest of the fantasy.

I met Bojangles.

Oh, that's more than I could have ever hoped for...

But that's good enough.

Is it? Ah...

How do you feel about that, Mrs. Wilson?

After all, you were against your husband's fantasy

from the beginning.

Leaving things as they are, is that, uh...

...good enough for you, too?

No. It isn't.

Dori?

I mean, you were the one that was worried about me having another heart attack.

You know... I almost did! I, uh...

Well, you were there.

It wasn't your heart giving out

back there on that stage, Joe.

It was your guts.

That's what it's always been.

ROARKE: What your wife is trying to tell you, Mr. Wilson,

is that if you die, it won't be your heart that kills you.

It will be your fear.

JUDY: Reach, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Jog, two, three, four, five, six, seven...

-And work, two, three, four... -(LAUGHS)

All right. Do it again!

Pretty good.

So, are you here to research a book, Mr. Childress?

Oh, no, no, no... Why don't you call me Charles?

I'm here on vacation and hoping to get away from it for a little while.

Hoping to meet someone.

Like you.

I have to tell you. This is so exciting for me.

I once read an interview with you where you said

your first novel was your favorite one.

Well, it was my favorite, too.

Well, we seem to have an awful lot in common, don't we?

(LAUGHS)

There's something that I've always wanted to ask you, Charles.

And now I can.

I never did understand why Lucy refused to marry Renaldo

at the end of the book.

What was her motivation?

Well, actually, I wrote that book a long time ago.

And I may have told an interviewer that...

...it was my favorite.

But, actually...

I can't remember it all that well.

You can't remember why Lucy said, "no?"

Surely, I'll tell you later, but...

Now, shall we talk about you?

JUDY: All right, guys. Let's take a break.

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING) You're good, Judy.

Well, thank you. You're pretty good yourself.

Did you used to be an actor, too?

No, I just did stunts. I stood-in for Rex.

I bet he wishes you were still standing-in

when whoever it was took that shot at him.

No way! Judy, gal. Mmm-mmm.

I couldn't afford to lose the old boy here.

(CHUCKLES) He holds this place together.

-(JAZZ PLAYING) -(APPLAUSE)

-Here we are. -(DORIS SIGHS)

Hi.

Well, you're the hit of this show, Bojangles.

Oh, you...

Oh, you mean all the people just applauding,

and recognizing, and everything?

You think I like that?

Well, don't you?

-You damn well right I do. -(ALL LAUGHING)

Let me tell ya something, Joe.

For a man that didn't have two nickels

to rub together for most of his life...

You know...

Well, it's like throwing the rabbit in the briar patch.

(LAUGHING)

Come on. What do you want to drink?

JOE: Well, what are you having?

Oh, I pass man. I can't drink that stuff.

A fire starts down here somewhere.

But that doesn't stop my friends from it.

I'd love to watch you drink.

-Well, I'd like some wine. -Well, make it two.

There you go.

My man, get me a big bottle of champagne

and bring it for my friends.

You know, I like you young guys.

I really do.

I'm gonna tell you something.

Well, we're listening.

Well, when I finish the movie I'm making now...

I'm gonna hang it up. Hang up the dancing shoes.

-You mean, you're retiring? -Yeah.

It's too much, man. You know, sweating all the time, and...

...my hands shaking, juice running out of my knees.

You know...

You can't quit over that.

You're not just some guy who dances, Bo.

I mean, you're, um...

...the living hope

for all the skinny little kids with big dreams.

You know, guys dancing on street corners

wearing sneakers and using, uh, using bottle cap tops

for taps, you know?

What you're saying then is, uh...

I'm giving up on myself? That I'm quitting?

I, I don't know what else to say...

(SIGHS)

Pardon my Latin. It's just that...

Giving up on yourself and quitting...

Isn't that what you did this afternoon?

You got an answer for him, Joe?

♪ No love could be better than this

♪ No man could make me think

♪ More like an angel

♪ When I see you beside me

♪ each day

♪ I know heaven's just a heartbeat away

♪ Heaven's just a heartbeat It's a heartbeat

♪ Heaven's just a heartbeat away

♪ Your love makes my heart beat away

♪ You say it's all up to me

♪ If I say the word we could learn ♪

You certainly have a winner, Reinhardt...

(CHUCKLES) ...for a change.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah. Yeah.

♪ Then you say...

♪ I know heaven's just a heartbeat away ♪

If anything, "too" good.

What is that supposed to mean?

I mean, they could be playing "top club" anywhere.

Reno, Las Vegas...

I wonder what they're doing here?

♪ Heaven's just a heartbeat away

♪ Heaven's just a heartbeat It's a heartbeat

♪ Heaven's just a heartbeat away

♪ Your love makes my heart beat away

♪ Heaven's a heartbeat...

♪ ...away ♪

(APPLAUSE)

Bravo! Bravo!

Sure was a lot of fun tonight, wasn't it?

Yeah, they were a great audience.

-I'm a little tired. But, you know... -I know...

Woops!

Well, I know I locked it.

Sure, Audrey.

Well, I'm glad I don't have any jewelry worth stealing.

-(WHISPERING) Judy wait! -What?

(GUNSHOT)

Make it swing.

You give 'em the tempo.

(SOFTLY) All right.

Okay, fellas, uh... Let's take it up about here...

(HUMMING TEMPO)

(JAZZ AND TAPPING)

(PANTING)

I just can't do it.

I'm telling you, we were shot at.

I don't understand it. First me,

and then these two little fillies.

It's too dangerous for you to stay here.

It would seem that you ladies do need protection.

Perhaps, it will be best for you to come back with us.

-Absolutely. -Not!

What?

We don't need to be bailed out of this.

We can handle it ourselves.

I agree.

We can handle it.

There are a couple of other things that happened that are strange too.

Yes, that's right. My gold watch was stolen and my diamond ring

last night.

And you know what that's worth? A half a million.

Dollars?

Well, that's what the Ali Khan said when I won it from him.

If there are any further problems,

I'm afraid I'll have to take action from my end, Mr. Reinhardt.

No, that's not gonna be necessary, Mr. Roarke.

Old Hawk, here... He can handle it.

And so can we.

Very well.

Look Rex, we can handle it, and we can help.

I mean, really, Charles Childress

doesn't know the first thing about his biggest selling book.

He's a phony. A phony who hates your guts.

I think you girls might have something on this Childress character.

I'm gonna check him out.

(CHUCKLING)

You know, there's a lot more to you gals than meets the eyes.

And that's saying something.

Look, Aud, we have one solid fact to go on.

He didn't write those books. So, he isn't Childress.

So, who is he?

Hey, you think you can keep Childress busy while I get into his room?

Do bees like honey?

(LAUGHS)

Thank you.

Uh...

Charles...

I really would like for you to see my new number.

I mean, that way I can get an expert opinion on it,

and, uh...

I'd know if I was right about it.

(HUMMING A SHOW TUNE)

(GIGGLES)

(CONTINUES HUMMING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(STILL HUMMING)

Hm... So, that's what he's up to.

(STILL HUMMING)

Come on now, darling.

My room is far better than this

for what we should be doing now.

What should we be doing, Mr. Childress?

You've got to be kidding.

"Mr. Childress," with the biggest come-on since Cleopatra?

You mean, you liked my number?

What the hell is going on?

What are you really up to?

How're ya, babe?

I guess I owe you, uh, some kind of...

...explanation, right?

Yep. I'd say you do.

I don't know what to say, man.

(SCOFFS)

Then, let me say it for you.

Joe, it's not just being scared.

I mean, you're...

You're feeling sorry for yourself.

Well, maybe I've got my reasons.

Like what?

Well, like, uh... No breaks, huh?

-And then there's the old... -Oh yeah, yeah...

The heart attack.

Yeah.

And that gives you a chance to build it up and keep building it up...

...until you really don't know whether you're any good or not, right?

You been talking with Doris, right?

Mm-hmm.

It's damn easy for you to say, though, Bill.

I mean you don't know what it's like

wondering if you're gonna drop dead the next minute or not.

Now, you listen to me.

Maybe I'd love wondering about it.

What are you talking about?

Well, um... You remember last night,

when I told you about the fire down here?

Lots of people have ulcers.

I'm afraid it's a little bigger than ulcers.

Yeah, it's big, it's mean, and it's...

...something that no doctor can do anything about.

And it's gonna get me.

Next week, next month...

Meanwhile it's down there, and it's growing.

Getting bigger and, um, just biding its time.

I, uh...

I don't know what to say.

Point is, I can't let it get me down.

I mean, those kids, the people that you told me about.

I can't...

I can't quite on 'em. I can't quit on me.

No matter how much I wanna feel sorry for myself. I can't do it.

And I don't think you can either.

Can ya?

No.

No, Bill.

I didn't think you could.

Now, come on. We'll go back there, and we'll do it again.

And we're gonna lay down some kinda iron.

Come on.

AUDREY: Judy! Judy, are you in there?

(KNOCKING)

Hello, Audrey. Come on in.

Hi.

What made you think that Judy was here?

Well, she was with Childress just a little while ago and...

(DOOR OPENING)

CHARLES: I know when somebody's gone in here,

which is why I want you as a witness.

I told you.

What is this?

-Hawk! -I'm doing my job, Rex.

You know this guy's passport? It says he's Eddie C. Bass.

Now, does that sound familiar?

Who's Edward C. Bass?

Why, honey, he's the dirty rat who wrote that lousy story about me

that almost drove me out of the business.

Take it easy, Rex.

Oof!

Oh, boy, did that feel good.

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, where's Judy?

I'm right here, Mr. Reinhardt.

Why you two are the damndest team of gals I've ever seen.

Listen, Hawk, you oughta use these two.

These are great lil fillies. They'd make great detectives.

I don't get it.

Mr. Hawkins knows I was in the closet when he came in.

I saw everything.

Like what?

Like him planting Rex's gold watch in Mr. Childress' coat pocket.

Hawk, what's this all about?

It's fadeout time, Rex, for you...

And you, too.

I'm sorry. Both of you.

Why?

I got a letter last week from an old friend...

The producer of your show.

He said he couldn't live with himself anymore because how you lied

when we were up for the same role in that series.

Wrong.

No, no. He didn't tell you the truth.

He told me the truth. He told me that you didn't have the star quality.

Or whatever it was he was looking for.

Well... (SCOFFS)

It doesn't matter really, anyway.

I have the diamond ring.

It's worth a half a million dollars.

And I have my own patsy lying right there on the ground.

Look, Mr. Hawkins...

You haven't committed any crime yet.

Mr. Reinhardt will give you that ring, won't you?

Yes, I will, Hawk. And no strings attached.

That sounds like a bargain you couldn't pass up.

-It's a nice try, honey, and you too. -JUDY: Audrey, now.

Oof!

Ow!

When did you two get here?

Just in time for me to eat my earlier words.

I would say those two gentlemen

take you both very seriously, indeed.

And now, do you?

Mister, from now on...

...everyone's gonna take the Jennings sisters seriously.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Joe.

It's okay, honey. It's okay.

Now, you just get out there and do what you gotta do.

-Okay? -Okay.

Gentlemen.

(SNAPS THE TEMPO)

(JAZZ PLAYING)

(TAPPING)

All right, go ahead!

(LAUGHING)

It's gonna be all right. He's gonna be all right.

Yeah! Alright.

Oh! All right!

(SWOONING) Oh...

(CHEERING)

-All right! All right! Yeah! -(ALL CHEERING)

(APPLAUSE)

BOJANGLES: Yeah!

-Come on. -Where we going?

-Home, where we belong. -But...

Get on up on that stage, Harry.

Come on, man, this is gonna be your big break after all.

Joe, I'm... What do I tell Bojangles?

Go tell him that you're good. And then, uh...

(TAPPING)

Show him, kid.

All right. Come on. Come on, baby.

(LAUGHING) That was great. Did you see that?

Oh! I can't believe it.

Will you tell me what's going on?

Well, I did it. Baby, I did it.

Oh, thanks to you... Thanks to you. You are so beautiful.

And, uh... Uh, thanks to Bojangles, huh?

And thanks to Mr. Roarke. Yes!

No more feeling sorry for myself, huh?

No more... No, I did it!

(LAUGHING) I know I could do it.

I knew I could dance back there.

But that's another time, another place, huh.

Right now...

Right now, I'm just glad to be here with you, hm.

Oh, Joe. Joe...

Mr. Wilson?

I'm sorry, but, uh... Your fantasy's over.

Yeah, I know.

How about a little, uh, a little traveling music, Mr. Roarke?

-And... -(JAZZ PLAYING)

How did I do, Mr. Roarke?

Just fine, Bojangles.

And thanks to you, Mr. and Mrs. Joe Wilson are going to be just fine too.

That's good.

I'm never gonna finish this motion picture.

But then you know that, don't you, Mr. Roarke?

Yes, I know. I'm sorry.

Ah...

Well, I've got no regrets. Do what you gotta do.

It's said, "a man has already achieved immortality

"if he's remembered and loved 25 years after his death."

I congratulate you.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke.

(SIGHS)

Take care.

You too, Bojangles.

(LAUGHS)

♪ The sky is the only roof

♪ I have over my head

♪ And when I'm weary

♪ Mother Nature makes me a bed ♪

Thank you.

Mr. Roarke, Lawrence... You're the first to know.

Joe's gonna open a dance studio.

Congratulations, Mr. Wilson.

Yes, a splendid idea. You'll make a fine teacher.

Yeah, well, I'd like to pass on some of the things that Bojangles taught me.

You know, and not just about dancing either.

He would have liked that very much, Mr. Wilson.

-Yes. -Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

-You're very welcome. -Lawrence.

-Goodbye, Mr. Wilson. -Goodbye, ma'am. Goodbye, sir.

Bye.

I still say you were taking a bit of a risk, sir,

letting him dance with his condition.

Sometimes, Lawrence,

taking a chance is the safest thing you can do...

...if you know what I mean.

I presume you're looking for the Jennings sisters?

As a matter of fact, I was, sir.

Well, they're not going back to the mainland.

You see, they found just the place to accomplish what they want in life,

together.

To work at something and be taken seriously.

-In the "Bargain Basement Cowboy's" employ, sir? -Exactly.

They decided to invest with Cowboy Rex

in a resort of their very own.

And I suppose they'll be in charge of security, as well as entertainment?

How did you guess?

I knew you'd be so happy for them, Lawrence.