Original subtitles

(BELLS TOLLING)

-Good morning, Mr. Roarke. -Good morning, Lawrence.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

(HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING)

-LAWRENCE: Mr. Alan Curtis and Ms. Patricia Grayson. -Hmm...

Isn't it pleasant, sir, when a couple's fantasy is

simply to enjoy a romantic sojourn on our island paradise?

An exceedingly simple fantasy, Lawrence,

especially in the case of Mr. Curtis.

But Ms. Grayson appears to be such an ideal partner for romance.

Oh, Mr. Curtis agrees with you wholeheartedly,

but they're here as friends, not lovers.

Although both their fantasies are to find romance,

Ms. Grayson has no inkling that she might find it with Mr. Curtis.

I have arranged for Mr. Curtis to enjoy the services of an excellent tutor,

the greatest lover in history,

a man whose entire life has been dedicated to romance.

LAWRENCE: What a lovely face, sir. A pity she looks so sad.

MR. ROARKE: Yes, Lawrence. Ms. Whitney Clark,

a fashion buyer for a top New York department store.

And she has good reason to be sad.

For the past four years she has been,

shall we say, seeing a married man.

-A kept woman? -Not exactly, Lawrence, no.

Ms. Clark loves him deeply, but the...

The torture of having to love him secretly,

uh, has become more than she can bear.

Her fantasy is to find the courage

to bid him a final farewell.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

With two such attractive people,

I don't think your basic requirements will be too difficult.

Well, it's got to be easier than back in Kansas.

I've known Alan since we were, what, in second grade,

and I don't think either of us has ever really been in love with anyone.

Not even a childhood crush?

Well, maybe I don't tell her everything, Lawrence.

We're not asking too much, are we Mr. Roarke?

It's been my observation, Ms. Grayson, that, uh, romance

can best be found in the spontaneous interaction

of two people.

Ah, like they say, "Live the fantasy," right?

Okay. Sounds good to me.

(LAUGHS) Come on, Alan. Let's go get lucky.

Uh, you... You go ahead, Pat. I...

-I need to talk to Mr. Roarke for a minute. -Oh, okay.

Come to think of it, maybe we'll both have better luck on our own, anyway.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS) I'm wasting my time, Mr. Roarke.

Pat has no idea she's the woman I want.

Why don't you just tell Ms. Grayson of your true feelings, sir?

Because it would change everything.

If she turns me down as a lover, I'll probably lose her as a friend too.

So we must make sure she doesn't reject you. Agreed?

Sure,

but I don't even know how to talk to her romantically.

Every time I try, I... I come up mute.

Perhaps, Mr. Curtis, you'll be more fluent in the language of love

if you observe the romantic technique of an expert?

I doubt it.

Who've you got in mind?

The world's greatest lover, Mr. Curtis.

I've made arrangements for you to go back to the golden age of romance,

to be tutored by the renowned

Don Juan himself.

The Don Juan, sir?

The one and only.

You will begin your journey in precisely half an hour,

if you meet us then by the Spanish gate. Excuse me.

Okay.

(SCOFFS)

Don Juan?

WHITNEY: I never intended to get involved with a married man.

I was on one of my buying trips

and Dan was showcasing his new swim wear line.

We had lunch to discuss a deal,

and before I knew it, I was in his room,

and it just happened.

When I found out he was married, I was humiliated,

and I told myself I'd never see him again,

but then he called and...

And you saw him again?

He treated me like I was his queen.

LAWRENCE: Tea is served, sir.

Ah, thank you, Lawrence.

-Uh, will you join me, Ms. Clark? -Yes.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Excuse me, madam,

but why do you want to end this romantic liaison

if it has been so meaningful?

That's just it. It's never really been meaningful.

Oh, it's been exiting, yes, and passionate,

but it's not where I want to be the rest of my life.

I need more.

If I'm in love with a man, I wanna be able to

shout it to the whole world if I want to.

Is Mr. Garman aware of your feelings?

You don't know how many times I've...

It's no use. His...

His wife won't give him a divorce.

Ms. Clark, nothing would give me greater pleasure

than to wave my hand

and make your fantasy complete.

I'm afraid, however, that at this time all I can do

is provide you the opportunity to end your relationship with Mr. Garman.

The rest is up to you.

When you are ready to begin your fantasy,

Lawrence will escort you. To the amphitheater, Lawrence.

Yes, sir.

MR. ROARKE: I believe you'll find it a necessary place to, uh...

To begin.

This idea about sending me back in time Don

so that Don Juan can teach me how to be romantic with Pat...

I mean, you're putting me on, right, Mr. Roarke?

Oh, indeed not, Mr. Curtis. Indeed not.

When you walk through that gate,

you'll go back to Old Madrid

during the golden age of romance.

Come on.

We're talking 500 years ago.

It's impossible.

Why don't you walk through the gate

and find out, Mr. Curtis?

Okay.

Go ahead.

Mr. Roarke...

CARMELITA: Oh, Don Juan.

Say my name, mmm? Say my name.

Oh, Carmelita, Christina, Marlena.

Oh, you make it sound so beautiful.

You're really Don Juan?

What have we here?

-Oh. -A spy for your husband?

So you will die, sir, now.

Hey. Hey. Mr. Roarke sent me.

Oh, he did, huh?

Well, I am going to send you back to him...

...perforated.

ALAN: Ah... Where am I?

Let go of me.

You let go of me.

All right, you wizard.

Return me instantly to Madrid

or I hand you over to the Inquisition.

Hey, hey. Look, I... I don't know anymore about this than you do.

I guess we're back on Fantasy Island.

Something must have gone wrong.

Any fool can see that.

Now, obviously you are merely a wizard's apprentice,

but the prick of my sword may enhance your ability.

-Now, en garde. -Mr. Roarke?

What is going on? Ahh!

Who are you?

I am Don Juan.

Well,

this wasn't exactly my fantasy, but, uh,

who am I to quibble? (LAUGHS)

And

what shall I call you, my fair rose?

-Sylvia. -Oh, Sylvia.

What a very short, but very lovely name.

Sylvia.

Your name slides off my tongue like a glissando.

-(MOANING) -Sylvia.

Excellent. There, there, there, and that's very good. I like that.

-First, we'll have... -What's he doing here?

I believe Mr. Garman is here to do a fashion show, madam.

He would be. Excuse me.

In the striped turquoise one. Definitely a brunette.

Okay? Now, I'll tell you what...

(STAMMERING) Whitney?

Uh, I'll be right back.

Talk about surprises. How'd you know I'd be here?

I was about to ask you the same question.

I'm closing a deal for Mr. Roarke.

He wants a designer label for Fantasy Island.

Oh, it's great to see you, Whitney.

Do you know why I'm here?

No, but I'm glad you are.

Is your wife with you?

Elizabeth? Yes, she is.

You didn't tell me you were gonna follow me.

Follow you? I came here to get away from you.

Look, uh,

let's get together after the show.

I'll send Elizabeth home,

and then

we can spend a few days together. Okay?

No okays. No more of this.

Well, then, uh,

maybe...

Maybe you're the one who should go home?

I tell you what.

Why don't I give your wife an education about your fun and games on the side?

I've been wanting to talk to that lady for a long time.

You wouldn't do a thing like that, Whitney.

Oh, wouldn't I? Watch me.

Whitney,

I love you.

I do love you very much.

It was awful, Mr. Roarke.

One minute, I'm there, somewhere,

And then that maniac, who says he's Don Juan, comes at me with a sword,

and... And the next thing I know we're back here,

-both of us. -Uh, now, apparently, Mr. Curtis,

somehow the connection between here and Old Madrid remained opened, you see.

As he pursued you out the window, you both fell forward into the present.

Yeah, yeah, well, that's your problem, and you're welcome to him.

He's in there.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(GROANING)

Stay away from my wife, you bum, or I'll kill you.

What kind of costume pervert are you?

Oh, gentleman. Gentlemen, please, please.

It is you, Roarke.

And just in time, I see.

I... I regret this disturbance, an unfortunate mistake.

Would've been a lot more unfortunate if I hadn't walked in when I did.

-You okay, Hun? -Yeah. Nothing happened but...

Please accept my apologies, both of you, please?

I feel amour.

Well, Roarke, you couldn't have sent

your bumbling apprentice for me at a worst moment.

-What is it you want? -You mean you two really know each other?

Yes, we met once briefly,

and Mr. Roarke used his wizardry to assist me.

I believe that the six brothers of a certain lady

were about to assist you into an early grave?

I was caught without my sword.

Not to mention certain garments.

(LAUGHS)

Now, I need you to instruct my young friend here

in the art of romancing a woman.

Uh, perhaps if he could watch you in action?

Study your technique? Your application of skill?

Just like that, huh?

Yes, and if you could do it in clothing a little less,

shall we say, conspicuous?

Very well. Come, young wizard to be.

First, a suitable costume of the day.

Then let's find some poor woman needing love

and, I'll let you observe

so I can return to my own pursuits.

Now, you watch carefully,

and you're gonna learn something.

ALAN: No, not Pat.

Oh, senorita, 1,000 pardons.

Um, this may seem very strange,

but I know I've seen you somewhere before.

No, no. I would have remembered you,

especially with that, "Seen you before" line.

-(CHUCKLES) Oh, no, no. No, you misunderstand.

I believe we have never met.

Yet I have seen you.

Really, where? In Kansas?

Kansas?

Oh, no, not in some strangely named kingdom

but in the mystical kingdom of my dreams.

For it is in those dreams

that I have adored your beautiful face

and marvel at your body's grace.

-You sure you've got the right woman? -Absolutely.

Maybe not the physical sort.

Visions have sent me, yet, in your case,

my dreams were but poor shadows

compared to the living beauty of your presence.

-Well, I don't know what to say. -Say nothing,

only I beg thee

let me touch your cheeks,

or else I'll think ever after that our meeting was itself a dream.

-ALAN: I don't believe this. -(MOANING)

-(GASPS) -(MOANS)

That's all the rapture I can endure at the moment.

Woman in my dreams,

I have some mundane duties to fulfill.

Will I see you again?

Without the slightest doubt.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

You talk funny, but it's so romantic.

See how it's done, apprentice?

She's mine for the plucking at some later harvest.

Now, on to lesson number two.

Can I help you, madam?

Yes. Where can I find Elizabeth Garman?

Ms. Clark, I hope you're not going to start behaving like a woman scorned?

Lawrence,

uh, that will be all for now, thank you.

Yes, sir.

I believe you'll find Mrs. Garman in her bungalow, Ms. Clark.

But, um,

I strongly advise you against using revenge as a motive for seeing her.

Mr. Roarke, I am tired of suffering all by myself.

I'm gonna let Dan's wife feel a little of the pain too.

Be very, very careful, Ms. Clark.

I can assure you that hurting someone else

will never help your own wounds to heal any faster.

I'll take my chance.

Come on in. It's as open as I'll ever get it.

You must be the girl who's supposed to

come for the bikinis. They're on the sofa.

-Are you Mrs. Garman? -Of course.

You are here for the bikinis?

Yes. Yes, I'm sorry.

Oh, you must be new in the company?

I haven't seen you around.

Yes, um, my name is Whitney Clark.

Oh, you one of the models?

No, I'm in sales.

Oh, um, that's news.

I didn't know Dan brought in new representatives.

Well, doesn't matter.

Is there something the matter, Ms. Clark?

Uh, no, I... I...

I just didn't expect the...

The chair, yes.

Well, don't apologize. I had the same reaction when I saw it in the hospital.

If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been...

Been disabled?

Well, let's see, now. About five years, now.

Dan and I were vacationing in Tahiti,

and we were diving into shallow water.

I'm slicing through a wave,

next thing I know I'm upside down in some traction rack

just like a Vincent Price movie.

The doctor said I had damage in my spinal column.

I'm sorry.

Like I said, Ms. Clark, there's no need to be.

You have to think positively when you're in my position.

Are you sure that nothing is bothering you, Ms. Clark?

Ms. Clark?

Oh, no, nothing's bothering me.

I gotta go.

Ms. Clark,

the bikinis, remember?

Oh. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, chow.

It's very nice having you in the family.

Thank you.

Ah, young wizard, a question.

Can you tell me what a telephone number is?

A very fetching young wench gave me hers,

and I don't know what one does with it.

Look, uh, Don,

this whole project is hopeless. I'm not you.

Doubtless, you are correct.

Hey.

Hey. Maybe it would be better if you plead my case for me?

Sure, sure, I mean, like,

talk to the girl I want to be romantic with and tell her how I feel?

A most unorthodox procedure,

but if such is your wish, I shall grant it, as a favor to Roarke.

Now who is this personage?

The good looking woman you conned in lesson number one.

Oh, the lovely senorita.

You have better taste than I would have thought.

Let us go in search of her.

Now, I don't want you to go too far, understand?

I... I mean, she's special,

real special. Watch what you say.

Young wizard, I am Don Juan.

I know what to say to any woman.

(SIGHS)

I want to know all about you.

Tell me about your land, your times.

My Spain is a sun kissed land

full of the world's most vigorous men

and most beautiful women, aside from yourself.

PATRICIA: You say such lovely things.

DON JUAN: Ah, I only wish you could see Spain through my eyes,

for you to see my villa in Valencia.

I'd say you were a man, not only of poetic speech, but of honor and passion.

And you a woman of perception.

So perhaps you know already there is a man

whose heart is full of nothing but tender thoughts of you?

Yes, I know. I know.

Oh, you know?

So if he should speak to you of his passion,

you will give him a sympathetic hearing?

Oh, most sympathetic. You can count on that, Don Juan.

Oh, Don Juan.

So you know who I am?

Yes, Mr. Roarke told me.

He said you were here to fulfill someone's fantasy.

I had no idea it would be mine.

Naturally,

any assistance I can provide in the case of somebody

so beautiful as you are, my dear...

Pat. My name is Pat.

Patricia.

Mmm.

Patricia.

(MOANING)

(ROMANTIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

-Hi, Pat. -Hi.

How're you feeling?

Oh, Alan, I just feel scrumptious. (GIGGLES)

Scrumptious?

Yes, that means better than I've ever felt before.

(EXHALES) Really?

So, um,

Don Juan talked to you?

Yes, yes, he did.

And he, uh,

told you there's someone who really cares for you?

And you, uh, you like this... This special someone?

I mean, you really care for him too?

Oh, Alan, I adore him.

That's terrific.

Oh, I knew I wanted romance,

but I had no idea it would be so romantic.

Oh, I just feel wonderful.

Yeah, me too.

Do you, uh...

Do you wanna to kiss me?

I want to kiss the whole world.

Oh.

Is, uh,

is that how you kiss when you feel wonderful?

Who would have thought that I would fall in love with the world's greatest lover?

The what?

Don Juan is everything I ever wanted in a man.

He's warm and passionate and romantic and caring.

I never knew life could be so scrumptious.

Aren't you happy for me, Alan?

Yeah, ecstatic.

Excuse me.

-DAN: Whitney? -Go away.

I knew you couldn't tell her. You're not that kind of lady.

I tried.

She told me about the lovely girl who came by for the designs.

Why didn't you tell me about her?

Tell me about everything?

How?

What would it have sounded like?

I don't want your pity, Whitney.

I want your love.

I love you so much.

(SOBBING) I love you so much.

(EXHALES)

No, I can't.

-(SOBBING) -Whitney, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, baby. I really am.

Don't you know I love you so much?

So much.

No. No.

No! Get away from me.

Whitney, you can't do this to us.

How can we do this to her? To me?

You should have told me, damn it. You should have told me.

If I had, you would never have let me get near you,

-and I love you. -If you love me,

you would have given me the choice,

-a choice to get out of this mess. -Please, Whitney,

-listen to me. -No, get away from me.

-Listen, I love you. -Get away from me.

-I love you. Don't you understand? -No.

-No. No. No. No. -I need you. I care for you.

-I want you, and I love you. -No, no. If you love me get out of here.

Get the hell out of here. Get out.

(SOBBING)

No.

No. No.

It's not gonna end like this.

Oh...

Oh, I hate you.

(SOBBING)

...good time, and,

uh, will you excuse me?

Damn it, Roarke.

You brought me to this island under false pretenses, didn't you?

You're not interested in a swimsuit deal.

You just want to stick your nose into something that's none of your business.

You are mistaken about our business agreement.

Mr. Garman, I am interested in your swimsuits.

Um,

with regard to Ms. Clark,

I hardly think you are a position to be accusing others of deception.

I'm not going to lose Whitney, do you understand?

And, uh,

as far as our little business deal is concerned, don't worry about that.

It's still on.

Oh, I assure you, Mr. Garman, I'm not worried,

not about our business contract,

but I would advise you to think very carefully about your personal life.

You may find yourself, as they say,

kissing goodbye your wife

and Ms. Clark.

...and when the crown was placed on the prince's head, the sun came out

as if to signify the blessing of the deity.

Oh, the coronation sounds thrilling.

I wish I could see the Spain of your time.

Oh, and I know not how I shall live in my time without you.

I almost want to stay here forever with you

or ask you to return with me to Madrid.

Is that possible?

If you so decided, dear lady,

yes.

I don't know.

I'd almost despaired of finding romance in my life,

but with you...

(MOANING)

Pat?

Pat? I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, not to be concerned, young wizard. She is with me.

That's my biggest concern of all.

Now, I'd like to talk to Pat alone.

Move out. Get going.

You foolish apprentice.

No, stop it. Stop it, both of you.

Don Juan, dueling has been outlawed for 200 years,

and besides, I don't want the two of you to...

Well, just stop it, all right?

Now, Patricia,

I must talk to Roarke once more about our immediate departure.

Except for you,

this strange place has lost its charm.

You're not going anywhere with that lecher, Pat. Alan,

I'm old enough to make up my mind now, thank you,

and I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you slander a wonderful man.

Pat? It's just...

It's just I love you.

(SIGHS)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

It's open.

Ah, good morning, Ms. Clark.

You're planning to leave?

Well, it would have been a beautiful day for flying.

Unfortunately the next plane doesn't leave until tomorrow.

You mean I have to stay here till tomorrow?

Quit playing games, Mr. Roarke, I'm in no mood.

You of all people should know why I want to leave here.

After all, you arranged this whole thing.

I take it you had a confrontation with Mr. Garman, huh?

How could you have possibly thought that bringing Dan and his wife

here would make it easier for me to make my decision?

I never promised you an absence of pain

breaking up with Mr. Garman,

only the chance to do so, Ms. Clark.

Well, you've given me that chance, Mr. Roarke,

and I can't do it. I can't break it off.

Ms. Clark, if you still want to realize your fantasy,

I suggest you take the path that you will find at the end of the garden.

-No more games, Mr. Roarke? -No,

no games, Ms. Clark,

I promise you.

Please...

-Hi, Ms. Clark. -Hello.

It's such a nice day, I'd thought I'd take a little stroll,

-or, in my case, maybe I should say a little roll. -Whatever.

Ah, you seem kind of down.

My husband fire you or something?

No, no, nothing like that.

Whatever it is, I've got the cure.

Look around this place.

Is this a paradise or what?

If you do the

favor of being my chauffeur, I sure would like some company.

-Why not? -Well, thank you.

Here we go.

You know, Mrs. Garman...

Oh, it's Elizabeth to you, Whitney.

All right, Elizabeth.

You know, Elizabeth, I really admire the way you look at life.

How you seem to be able to deal with whatever comes your way.

Ah, thank you. I'm strong too.

But you should have seen me after my mishap.

I was throwing this little pity party. I was the only guest.

I really couldn't have cared less about living.

I think the only reason I probably didn't curl up and die is because of Dan.

He just never cut me any slack.

He kept telling me what a special person I was.

Kept encouraging me, convincing me that I had everything to live for.

So I probably just did finally start believing him.

I think that's wonderful.

I've been trying to deal with the reverse of that.

Would you like to...

To talk about it?

You see, I've been going with this guy for a few years now,

and I thought I was pretty special to him too,

but I just found out he has someone even more special in his life,

someone that fills his needs a lot more than I do.

So I came to Fantasy Island to find the courage to

tell him it's over between us.

Mmm, that's strange.

Why do you say that?

I think I came here to do the same thing.

You know, men have their needs just like women do,

and I can't give Dan that kind of love anymore,

and even though he never lets on, I know it's really difficult for him

out there with all those pretty girls in the bikinis that I've designed for them.

Love's a lot more than that, Elizabeth.

Oh, I know. But,

oh,

look,

this is a decision I've been avoiding for four years.

I don't think if I can live with myself if I don't

cut Dan lose.

Give him his freedom

to love somebody else,

be loved totally.

I offered to divorce Dan, but he wouldn't take it.

Isn't that something?

Then it proves he really loves you.

You and your husband have everything

that make a real relationship work, Elizabeth...

Concern and devotion and all the years together.

You can't give that up.

You're a pretty good therapist, you know that?

Thank you.

I hope everything works out for you, Whitney.

It will.

If we are late for that swimming suit showing,

I'm still going to have to fire you. Home, James.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS)

MR. ROARKE: Mr. Curtis, this is the time for action...

...not contemplation.

What action?

How can I stop Pat?

You know,

I really think she wants to go with that...

That flowery mouthed Don Juan.

Perhaps if you punched him in that mouth?

Sure,

and Pat'd be there daubing his lips with her handkerchief,

and I'd be lying on the floor with his sword in my stomach.

Still, if you want to prevent Ms. Grayson's going, you must do something.

Madrid is a lot farther off than Kansas, especially in this case.

Yes, and if Ms. Grayson goes,

she will be gone forever.

Come, Mr. Curtis, shake off your lethargy.

If you really love Ms. Grayson, you must prove it to her, now.

Mr. Roarke, how can I compete with the greatest lover in history?

It's remarkably simple.

You love Ms. Grayson and Ms. Grayson only.

Don Juan can never offer that kind of love.

How do I know that's the kind of love she really wants?

Now, really, Mr. Curtis,

do you want to win her for yourself,

or do you want to think up excuses why you're going to lose her, huh?

If you don't really care enough, I'm sorry for you.

Oh, I'll do what I can, not for you,

but for Ms. Grayson.

Come, Lawrence.

(SIGHS)

LAWRENCE: A purple chevron striped sarong...

...with matching bathing suit entitled Flash Dance.

A flowered one piece tank suit entitled Herbaceous Border.

I wish I were south.

A white simple lace inserted bikini

entitled La Paloma.

Oh, for the wings.

A one piece tank suit with a plunge neckline and a simple peplum.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

feast your eyes on this magnificent creature

in a peacock combination bandeau bikini complete with wrapped skirt.

It can be worn as a sun dress during luncheon...

-...and then later for a sunset dip in the ocean. -Thank you.

(LAWRENCE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

Elizabeth, a little business I have to take care of. Excuse me.

(LAWRENCE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

I'll be right back.

Oh, poor Dan.

They never give him a moment's peace.

I wish he was able to slow down, but I guess he'll never change.

Oh, I wouldn't saym "Never," Mrs. Garman.

Sometimes changes come when you least expect them.

LAWRENCE: Now, ladies and gentlemen,

feast your eyes on this magnificent peacock combination bandeau bikini.

I got your message.

I had to see you before I go.

Whitney, listen. I've made up my mind.

I'm leaving Elizabeth.

Just let me wrap up this deal with Roarke and send her home, okay?

Then it'll be just you and me.

Oh, Dan, stop lying to yourself.

You can't leave Elizabeth,

and more importantly, you don't want to.

I do want to.

Then you would have said yes when she asked for the divorce.

Whitney, I'm sorry. I just couldn't run out on her.

I know.

But I don't want to lose you either. Don't you understand?

Yes, I do understand, Dan,

but you've got to realize it's no longer in your hands.

We could never be happy together.

Elizabeth would always be there, always be between us.

I love you so much.

Then let me go.

Dan, she needs you so badly.

-Whit... -She needs all of you, not just what's left after us.

I can't say goodbye.

Then I'll have to.

Can you?

Goodbye.

Roarke, I'm taking Patricia with me.

I'm sorry, Don Juan.

I cannot permit Ms. Grayson to return with you.

But... But I want to, Mr. Roarke.

Do you Ms. Grayson? Do you really want to?

Of course she does, Roarke.

Now, you stand aside.

No, Don Juan.

Tonight, my love.

We will have supper in Madrid, I promise you.

But, Don Juan, your castle in Madrid

is presided over by the elegant Countessa La Managua.

I doubt she will tolerate another mistress there.

(GROANING)

We'll go to my chateau in Andorra.

What of the beautiful Duchess of Burgundy and her retinue?

Ah, I have in my palace in Seville.

And there shall Ms. Grayson meet the lovely Princess Juanita de Sonora,

your youngest mistress whom you also love very dearly.

Love? You mean you love all those women, Don Juan?

Of course,

but not as I love thee, Patricia.

Oh, I found the solution.

I have always wanted to be in Barcelona.

So there you will have your castle.

I knew I wasn't the first but...

You're not even the 17,000th, madam.

Careful, Roarke. This is the finest, most rare brocade.

Ah! Enter the sorcerer's apprentice,

just in time to say, "Farewell".

You may be right, Don.

Give me your sword, Mr. Roarke.

Alan. Have you lost your mind?

Probably,

but I'm gonna prove I love you more than this dashing dandy ever could.

Bravo, sir.

You are convinced this is what you want to do, Mr. Curtis?

Don Juan is a renowned duelist.

Yeah. Yeah, I know,

but I'm gonna have a stab at it.

Oh, Alan, you can't. He'll kill you.

That's right, Ms. Grayson,

that's precisely what will happen.

Or perhaps I will just cut off his nose and ears

as a lesson, dear Roarke?

Oh, stop it, please.

Alan, I don't want you hurt.

I love you Pat, just you.

I always have, and I always will.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You see, Ms. Grayson, Don Juan was just brought here

to teach Mr. Curtis how to tell you what Mr. Curtis is now showing you.

How much he truly loves you.

That's right. I'm a one-woman man,

and I want a one-man woman.

But so do I.

(STRUGGLING)

What nonsense.

Surely you prefer the world's greatest lover

to this buffoon and his limited romantic imagination?

-PATRICIA: Oh! -(ALAN GROANS)

Oh, no, Don Juan.

Oh.

-Stop that. Stop. -Ah, Patricia, how anger flushes your cheeks,

like a peach's blush.

Oh, get lost.

Ah!

Oh, Alan!

Alan, you all right?

(SIGHS)

Perfect.

Just perfect.

Thank you, Don Juan.

My pleasure, Roarke.

Hello, Mr. Roarke.

After a weekend like this, I'm gonna take some time to set up a new course in life,

but thanks to you at least I know what direction to set it in.

I am very confident, Ms. Clark,

that you will find what you are looking for very soon.

And I'd like to add, madam, I've come to admire your courage very much.

Thank you. Thank you both.

-Goodbye. -Bye.

Goodbye, madam.

Charming lady, sir.

She's going to make some fortunate man a wonderful wife some day.

I couldn't agree with you more, Lawrence.

I couldn't agree with you more.

Mr. Roarke, thank you.

Things didn't go exactly the way I thought they would,

but in the end...

-You got the girl. -And I got the boy.

Mr. Roarke, what ever happened to Don Juan?

Legend has it that he finally gave up his mistresses,

married one woman, and settled down,

something to do with a lesson he learned

in a foreign land, I believe.

I think I learned a lesson in that same place.

-Thank you, Mr. Roarke -You're very welcome, sir.

-So did I. -Goodbye, sir.

-Goodbye, Lawrence. -Goodbye.

-Goodbye. -Goodbye.

Ah, love blooms eternally, Lawrence,

in many blossoms in many gardens.

When properly fertilized, indeed it does, sir.