Original subtitles

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[BELL TOLLING]

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

-Good morning, Mr. Roarke. -Good morning, Lawrence.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CAR DOOR SHUTS]

Smiles, everyone. Smiles!

[POLYNESIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

-LAWRENCE: Mr. and Mrs. Walters, sir? -ROARKE: Yes.

LAWRENCE: I understood the gentleman had canceled the reservations.

ROARKE: Oh, he did, Lawrence.

However, at the last moment, Mrs. Walters called to say

she talked her husband into coming after all.

LAWRENCE: He doesn't look very happy about it, sir.

ROARKE: Well, that's because he feels

his wife's fantasy is an assault on his male prerogatives.

You see, her fantasy is to have her husband learn

what it is to be a woman,

and have to suffer the arrogance of men.

In that case, he has my sympathy.

ROARKE: If you want my guess, both of them will need

all the sympathy they can get, Lawrence.

Oh, my.

LAWRENCE: Well, as they say, sir,

there goes the neighborhood.

-You know her, Lawrence? -Certainly not, sir.

But much though I hate to admit it,

I have had dealings with ladies of easy virtue.

ROARKE: Uh, just how did you become

such an expert on the subject?

I had to dismiss them with shocking regularity

from the bedroom of one of my former employers.

Oh, I see.

A task I had earnestly hoped would not be required of me

under your employ.

Her name is Ms. Shelley James,

and he's here for a fantasy, Lawrence.

To receive one or fulfill one?

Her fantasy is to be a normal woman

involved in a normal relationship

with a normal man for the weekend.

Then I pray she gets it right the first time, sir.

So do I, Lawrence.

For her sake, I sincerely do.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island!

SHELLEY: Mr. Roarke, I want to experience true love.

ROARKE: What's the problem?

Do you have any idea how many married men I've--

[LAWRENCE CLEARS THROAT]

Cream or sugar, Miss?

No, thanks.

Like I was saying...

people get married because they're in love.

So, how come so many married men come to me

instead of living happily ever after?

In other words, you don't believe such a thing

-as true love exists. -You got it.

Then why are you here?

Thank you.

Why are you here, Ms. James?

Because being in love is kind of a nice idea, you know?

I mean, not that I'm apologizing for what I am.

It's a living, right?

I don't know.

Sometimes when I see housewives pushing their babies

around the market...

or couples holding hands in the park...

I wonder...

what if something wonderful...

really can happen between a man and a woman?

[SIGHS] Is this the first time you've ever tried to find out?

No, I tried the normal routine once.

-And? -I, uh, swore off tricking

and signed up for typing school.

You know, so that I could meet new people,

make some friends, be a regular kind of girl.

And, uh, I lasted a whole three days.

I don't know.

I don't know if I couldn't cut it,

or I couldn't cut me...

but being your basic everyday chick

was definitely a lost cause.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Well, your stay with us

won't involve typing school, Ms. James,

but it will involve a young man here on the island

who is quite anxious to meet you.

What did you tell him about me to make him so anxious?

Oh, no, I assure you he has no idea

what you do for a living. Oh, no, no, no.

No, it seems he saw you at a party several months ago,

and for him, it was apparently...

love at first sight.

You mean, um, he wants to meet me...

because I'm me?

Because he found you very attractive,

and thought you were, no doubt, a very nice person.

Uh, he's waiting to meet you right now.

Wait. I can't meet this guy right now.

I mean, the only people I'm used to being with, guys,

are-- are johns.

I mean, somebody's gotta tell me what to say,

how to act, what to do.

What to wear is no small consideration, either, sir.

Yes, a-- a change of wardrobe is called for.

Uh, but as for your other concerns,

just let nature take its course, Ms. James.

You'll do just fine.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Dragging me to this island for some dumb fantasy

is humiliating, Mr. Roarke. Look at me.

Do I look like some flake who gets his kicks

lording it over his wife because she's a woman?

I didn't say you were a flake, George.

I said you were a male chauvinist pig.

Uh-- uh, Mr. and Mrs. Walters, please, please.

Now, you've come to Fantasy Island

to get some insight into your marital problems,

not to keep battling with each other.

If you would just be content to stay home,

and keep house, there would be no problem.

Keeping house is not the problem, George.

It's you taking me for granted and treating me

like I didn't have a brain in my head.

That is the problem.

Okay, okay.

Bring in your shrink, Mr. Roarke,

or whoever it is who is going to try to make me feel guilty

because I have bigger muscles than her.

Let's just get this thing over with.

A shrink? Oh, no, no.

No, no, Mr. Walters, psychiatry will not be necessary.

I've devised a more practical way

in which you might discern the nature of women.

A more-- [CHUCKLES]

A more realistic way, shall we say.

Whatever.

As long as this thing is over by the weekend.

I have a very important business engagement,

and I'm trying to close a deal in Montreal, Canada.

I believe a weekend will be quite sufficient.

Now, if you'll both return to your bungalow

and wait for me, your fantasy, Mrs. Walters,

-will start in exactly one hour. -[POCKET WATCH CLICKS]

ROARKE: All right?

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Mr. Roarke.

Mr. Brad Jacobs, Ms. Shelley James.

-Hello. -Hi.

Well, I believe you have something to talk about,

so, uh, if you'll excuse me.

So...

So...

BRAD: I, uh...

saw you at a St. Patrick's Day bash

the company I work for gave.

By the, uh, time I'd made my way across the hall

to introduce myself, you were leaving with somebody.

[CHUCKLES] You, uh...

still dating him?

No.

You ever been here before?

No, I've been to Hawaii, though.

Oh, yeah? Which island?

Uh, the one that Honolulu's on. I don't-- [CHUCKLES]

I wasn't paying very much attention.

Oh-- oh, you were there on your honeymoon, right?

[BOTH LAUGH]

No, um, I was working.

Oh. [EXHALES DEEPLY]

So, your, uh, job takes you to Honolulu?

What do you do?

-SHELLEY: I'm in retailing. -Retailing?

-SHELLEY: Hmm. -BRAD: Hmm.

LAURA: Only a few seconds before the hour's up, George.

Hurry.

You took your sweet time when you were here!

Now, just because it's my turn,

it's "Hurry up, George! Hurry up, George!"

Just like a woman.

You pluck your eyebrows, you wash your hair,

you shave your legs, you file your nails.

You cream your elbows.

All I want to do is shave and comb my hair,

but now, when it's my turn...

"Hurry up, George! Hurry up, George!"

You know, Laura, there's still time

to call this crazy thing off.

GEORGE: [AS LAURA] What do you say, huh?

LAURA: [AS GEORGE] Oh, my.

This skirt must have shrunk at the cleaners, George.

We could, uh, catch the afternoon plane

to Montreal.

See Ferguson about that shopping mall deal, hmm?

Laura?

Oh, my God.

Laura!

Look at me, Laura!

Look what you've done.

You and your damn fantasy!

He switched our bodies.

This is what Roarke meant by being realistic.

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

GEORGE: [AS LAURA] That better be you, Roarke!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later.

Okay, Roarke, okay.

Have yourself a good laugh

and then turn me into myself again.

Before I punch you into next week.

My, my, such ugly talk. And from such a pretty lady.

LAURA: [AS GEORGE] Yes, George, you be careful

about what I say.

Oka-- okay, just don't press your luck. Either of you.

Uh, excuse me.

Uh, does this arrangement disturb you, Mrs. Walters?

Well, I can understand why you turned George into me,

but why me into him?

Well, it seemed the only way to be fair to both of you.

-Uh, may I? -Oh, certainly, certainly.

Thank you. You see,

whatever your husband hopefully learns about women

uh, will be of little use unless you also learn something

about his problems in being a man.

But, Mr. Roarke, won't-- won't people think

that it's peculiar hearing

my voice coming out of George's mouth?

[LAUGHS] Now, you see, uh,

only Lawrence and I, and the two of you, of course,

will hear you as you are.

When you are with other people, Mrs. Walters,

you will have your husband's, uh, voice,

and you, Mr. Walters, will have your wife's voice.

In other words, the voice will match the body.

I, uh, thought it would avoid confusion.

Who cares about voices?

I can't be seen like this. I'm ridiculous!

You never, never thought my body was ridiculous before.

I never wore it before.

I want out!

Oh, easily done. But only if Mrs. Walters agrees.

It's your fantasy, and terminating it,

now that it has begun, is entirely up to you.

Well.

In that case...

you take good care of me.

-Laura, no! -Well, don't worry.

I'm not going to beat you or anything like that.

What kind of a husband do you think I am?

Wonderful! It sounds like this marriage

is starting off on the right foot.

Mrs. Walters.

Oh.

Mr. Walters.

[DUCK QUACKS]

ROARKE: What's wrong now, Lawrence?

LAWRENCE: Well, really, sir,

having a woman about to whom sexual favors

are nothing but a commodity is an open invitation to trouble.

Mr. Roarke, I've got to talk to you.

-I've got troubles. -The defense rests.

Brad expects me to meet him down at the lagoon in an hour,

and I want you to tell him I just can't.

But why?

Aren't the two of you getting along?

Yes. No!

I mean, the guy, he's just-- He's not my type.

And as far as he's concerned, I'm history, okay?

What you are is frightened, Ms. James.

-What do you mean frightened? -You like him, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, I like him.

The problem is it's difficult

for you to like people, isn't it?

No, it never used to be.

Back when I was a kid, I liked everybody.

And everybody, uh, liked me.

Especially my...

[INHALES DEEPLY] ...stepfather.

I guess I, uh...

stopped trusting people...

around the time my mother went out of town

for the weekend and left the two of us...

my stepfather and me...

by ourselves.

That was the first time he--

You don't have to go on, Ms. James. I understand.

And I can well understand why you're frightened.

Your love and trust were betrayed...

once with extremely painful results.

And now, no doubt, you're afraid that Mr. Jacobs,

of whom you're obviously growing very fond,

will somehow cause history to repeat itself.

You should be happy.

Happy?

Lawrence is quite right, Ms. James.

Under the circumstances, your being frightened

is a perfectly normal reaction.

And as I recall, normal...

is precisely what you came here to be.

Yeah, but it isn't gonna work.

You see, Brad thinks the reason that I'm acting so weird

around him is because I'm shy...

or proper. Can you believe that?

Are you saying you'd prefer he knew the truth about you?

Of course not.

He'd be gone in two seconds if he knew the truth.

But believe it or not,

I do pride myself on being an honest person, Mr. Roarke.

I guess I should tell him everything.

Shouldn't I?

[EXHALES] Well, you're the only person

who can answer that question, Ms. James.

Yeah. [INHALES DEEPLY]

Somehow I...

thought you might say that.

-[KIDS LAUGHING, SHOUTING] -[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Well...

good luck, uh, Mrs. Walters.

And until you get a hang of your new physical capabilities,

I'll be close by, uh, just in case.

LAURA: [AS GEORGE] Don't worry, Mr. Roarke,

I can handle it.

Splendid, Mrs. Walters. Splendid. Will you excuse me?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[LAUGHING]

Oh, uh, I-- I'm sorry, I thought this table was empty.

No, no, no, sit down. Sit down, relax, it's all right.

No, I-- I can find another table.

No, really, join us.

-It's okay. -Thank you. Thank you both.

Sure. I was about to get some drinks.

-You want one? -No, no, uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

Great. I'll go get us two.

-Okay. -Okay.

My, that's...

that's a lovely bathing suit you're wearing there.

Thank you.

To tell you the truth, I was thinking

-about buying one for myself. -[LAUGHS] Oh, really?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] But I-- I lost my nerve.

[LAUGHS]

You know, that's too bad. You would have looked, um...

-darling! [LAUGHS] -[CHUCKLES]

Well, I wouldn't have looked like you look in it. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, all right.

You know something?

I kinda like your way of coming on.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

-don't get me wrong. -Oh, no, it's okay, it's okay.

I was getting kind of bored with Tom anyway.

He's so, um, immature.

You mean it's this easy to make out?

Yes, we could. [CHUCKLES]

[TOM CLEARS THROAT]

-Oh. -What do you think you're doing?

Doing about what?

You're messing with my girl, creep.

I'm not a creep, and I'm not messing

with your girl. Sit down, have a good time.

Hey, listen, why don't you just get out of here, okay?

Hey!

Now, look, I'm-- I'm not what I look like, I--

Well, I guess you've got a point.

[LAURA PANTS]

Oh, there there, now, Mrs. Walters.

Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Roarke.

If that young ruffian meant you any harm, sir-- madam--

I shall call the constabulary.

Oh, no, no, don't, don't.

He just thought that I was making a pass

at his girl, that's all. Oh, it was awful, Mr. Roarke.

Oh, come now, Mrs. Walters.

Getting a taste of the temptations

that can cause a man to stumble

was also one of our objectives,

wasn't it? Hmm?

-LAURA: Uh-huh. -Yes.

[PIANO PLAYING]

[BOTH LAUGH]

Did I tell you the joke about the bear and the rabbit?

No, stop it, stop it. No, no more jokes. I mean it, I mean it.

If I laugh any more, I'm gonna sprain something. Oh!

I haven't laughed this hard in years. [CHUCKLES]

How come?

I don't know, I just haven't.

Does that mean you're having a good time?

[SHELLEY CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Yes, it means I'm having a great time. [CHUCKLES]

[BRAD SIGHS]

I can't tell you how special you are to me, Shelley.

First it was just the way you looked.

But now...

you're just so quiet.

Yet, you, um...

you stand out.

Like something whispered instead of shouted.

Brad...

I have something I have to tell you.

It can wait.

Shelley, would you...

rather say good night to me now,

or, uh, good morning to me later?

Good night to you now, okay?

[SIGHS DEEPLY] Okay.

I really like you.

You know that, don't you?

Good night.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Brad?

I like you a lot, too.

What's wrong?

It shouldn't have happened.

Why not?

I shouldn't have let it happen.

I, um...

Guess I did kind of force the issue, didn't I?

No.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't I just do what I should have done

in the first place, okay?

Brad, don't go.

Wait.

You didn't do anything wrong.

It's me.

I have something I have to tell you.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Remember when I told you I was in retailing?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, what I retail is me.

I'm a hooker.

I've been doing it since I was 16.

Brad, I was working that party...

when you first saw me.

I came to the island because I...

I wanted to find out

what it felt like not to be be what I am.

And now I know.

[BRAD EXHALES]

Would you just leave?

[♪♪♪♪♪]

BRAD: It's all right.

GEORGE: [AS LAURA] Laura, wait till you see this.

LAURA: [AS GEORGE] Mmm.

And they said it couldn't be done.

[POT SIZZLING]

Well, woman of little faith!

What is it?

You like cheese souffle? I made you a cheese souffle.

Did you have to cremate it?

So, that's what I get for trying, huh? Sarcasm?

No, no, no, I-- I-- I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry.

That just happens to be a line I stole from you.

That's what this whole thing's all about, remember?

Sure. [SNIFFS]

And I also remember your reaction to it, huh?

-Like this! -George!

I got a headache.

[WHIMPERS]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Ms. James, are you all right?

I've never felt better in my life.

I told him, Mr. Roarke. I told him everything.

About...

-what you were? -He knows.

And it doesn't matter. He's still in there, asleep.

He didn't walk out. Can you believe it?

-Well, I'm very happy for you. -I'm so excited I can't sleep.

I mean, all I can think about is how terrific

today is gonna be.

-Ms. James-- -I wanna do something

really special.

Do you think I should, I don't know,

bring him breakfast like they did in the movies?

Do you think he'd like that?

Oh, I'm sure he would.

You know...

this is the first time I can remember

that I've looked forward to the day.

[SIGHS] Ms. James...

there's an old saying that goes,

"Sorrow is born in the hasty heart."

Uh, when you're experiencing something for the first time,

especially love...

it's best to take it slowly.

She who hesitates is lost, Mr. Roarke.

See you later.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Oh! I was gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed.

We'll have coffee at the coffee table.

Shelley...

I, uh...

I can't-- I can't.

[DOOR SHUTS]

[PIANO PLAYING]

Thank you.

Oh, no.

-What is it? -Judas Priest, Laura.

I can't let him see me looking like this.

Go hide my body somewhere. Get out of here.

LAURA: [AS GEORGE] Who is he?

Jake Conway Ferguson,

my Montreal shopping mall deal, that's who.

Oh, now, for God's sake, be careful what you say.

George. [CHUCKLES]

Nice to see you, George.

Mr. Roarke told me you'd be here.

I guess you're a little surprised to, uh...

to see me.

So, you must be Laura.

CONWAY: Well, well, well.

George has, uh, talked a lot about you.

-Hmm. -CONWAY: But not nearly enough.

Yeah, yeah, she is a doll, isn't she?

I'm sorry to break in on your vacation like this,

but, uh, business is business, right, George?

You see, we're working on the,

uh, shopping mall deal together, and, uh,

I've got some details that I've got to straighten out

before, uh, I finalize your husband's contract.

I'm gonna make George a rich man.

You don't mind me making your husband a rich man...

do you, Laura?

[CHOKES] No, I don't mind at all, Mr. Ferguson.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Call me Conway.

Conway.

Yes.

CONWAY: This is wonderful.

[CONWAY CHUCKLES]

[PEACOCK SQUAWKS]

Ah, Mr. Roarke.

Welcome to the party.

Pour him a scotch, Lawrence.

Let's have a toast.

To fantasies, male...

and female.

Apparently, sir, she has experienced

some kind of a setback.

No, no. No.

I prefer to think of it as a chance...

to go on to bigger and better things.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

Mr. Jacobs couldn't accept what you were after all, huh?

Yeah.

And you should've seen him run, too.

And after I'd given him the best freebie of his life.

I don't know, the way I figure it...

if I'm gonna start being treated like a whore...

I might just start being one.

What about you, Roarke? Hmm?

What are you doin'...

for the next half hour? Huh?

Lawrence, I want to speak to Ms. James alone.

Yes, sir.

Of course, sir.

-Ah, you won't regret it. -[DOOR SHUTS]

You won't stop the pain by doing this.

What pain? Come on.

Pain and pleasure are part of my act.

Do you think I'm feeling pain?

Yes, I think you felt pain

when your stepfather betrayed your trust years ago.

And I think you feel that very same pain now.

Okay.

So, I met a guy I like for the first time

in my life and he dumps me, and it hurts.

What am I supposed to do? Thank you?

Learn from it, Ms. James.

-Yeah? -ROARKE: Yeah.

Well, I don't got the time.

The girls on the street I compete with...

are gettin' younger by the day.

And pretty soon...

they're gonna push me out of the running altogether.

And then, you know what happens?

You know what happens to hookers

who are past their prime?

They end up dying in a back alley.

And nobody gives a damn.

But you're no longer what you were, Ms. James.

You've revealed, most importantly to yourself,

that you are a feeling, loving...

normal human being.

Which means you've changed your future.

-Don't you see? -Yeah.

But I can't change my past.

I'm stuck with it.

Just like I'm stuck with me.

And you know what...

I hate me.

Damn!

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[PANTS]

-[HORSE NICKERS] -Well...

after a workout like that,

you must feel very good indeed, Mr. Jacobs.

[PANTS] I still feel like the lousy creep I am.

Oh?

[PANTS]

Shelley trusted me enough to tell me the truth.

And what did I do?

[PANTS] I threw it back in her face and ran.

I couldn't handle it.

Well, after all, she is a whore.

What kind of man could handle that?

-Damn you, Mr. Roarke. -Answer me, Mr. Jacobs.

[EXHALES] A man with guts enough to love her.

Really love her. That's who could handle it.

Or be willing to say that the only thing

that's important is the way they feel about each other,

and to hell with what everybody else thinks.

And that man isn't you, huh?

I wish to God it was.

[SIGHS]

I live in the real world, Mr. Roarke.

I just can't ignore what other people would think.

Nor can you ignore the fact that making decisions of the heart

based on what other people think...

is never quite satisfactory, is it, Mr. Jacobs?

Well, I'm sure I've taken too much of your time already,

so, uh, good day, sir.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

GEORGE: [AS LAURA] One thing I wanna know, Laura.

Just how many times have you been hit on

by guys like that drooling lech Ferguson

without telling me?

Why, George...

I thought you weren't the jealous type.

[PHONE RINGING]

Bar.

I've got a call for George Walters.

-I'll take it. -Right here.

I'm George Walters. I'll take it.

Way to go, George.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Conway.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah, I understand.

Well, I'll just wait here until he comes.

All right.

-What does he want? -My body.

You mean he goes...

-both ways? -Oh, no, no, no, no.

My body.

The one that you're in.

He wants my body to go to his bungalow

and help him make hors d'oeuvres.

And he wants your body to stay here

and wait for this man.

Until he delivers the contracts for the mall.

It's a setup.

He figures I can't chance ticking him off

until the contract's signed.

Wait, George, you're not gonna go

-by yourself, are you? -Why not?

It's another lesson to learn.

How to be chased around an apartment

by a sex-crazed maniac.

Oh, please, George. The contract isn't worth it.

You call off the fantasy, and I'll tell Ferguson

what he can do with his deal. There's no other way.

Still making conditions on your terms, aren't you?

You haven't learned anything.

It's your body.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[LAURA PANTS]

Mr. Roarke.

Oh, Mr. Roarke.

[CHUCKLES] Mrs. Walters.

Oh, oh, Mr. Roarke, you're absolutely right.

I've been playing with fire,

and I want to pour a bucket of water on it.

Does this mean you--

-you wish to end your fantasy? -Yes, yes, yes!

Mr. Roarke, I've only been looking at myself

-through my own point of view. -ROARKE: Oh.

Why, that's very good, Mrs. Walters.

Once you're able to accept the fact

that men must also deal with compromise

and humiliation,

then you're well on your way to making your marriage

a true partnership.

Oh, I know that. I know that now, Mr. Roarke.

And I think we should restart our partnership

by getting George and me back to who we really, really are.

If that is your wish, Mrs. Walters,

then...

It's done.

GEORGE: What the hell--

You mean to tell me I'm George again?

I-- I am George again! Listen to me!

-[CHUCKLES] -Listen to me!

I'm myself again!

Indeed you are, Mr. Walters.

Your personality is back in the body

it normally occupies.

And, so, at this very moment, is Mrs. Walters.

The fantasy is over!

[BOTH LAUGH]

But that means that...

Laura is trapped in that bungalow with...

the animal!

[GROWLS ANGRILY]

CONWAY: Laura...

I understand you're playing hard to get.

This is ridiculous.

You see, it's all over.

-You don't understand. -You don't understand.

Uh, see, something has happened, and I am me again.

-Yeah. [GIGGLES] -Laura. Myself.

-Yes, and I wouldn't want it... -[LAURA GRUNTS]

-...any other way. -Mr. Ferguson, cut it out.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, George.

Uh, oh, George.

There was a burglar that came in here.

[STAMMERS] He-- he-- he was, uh, a giant of a man.

And he-- he assaulted Laura.

Right, Laura?

Oh, you see, she fainted, and I-- and I--

And I was helping her to the-- to the couch.

Here.

-[BREATHES HEAVILY] -You all right, dear?

[EXHALES]

[CONWAY GRUNTS]

George.

George...

we're ourselves again. [CHUCKLES]

Promise me something, Laura.

Next time you get another idea like this...

don't.

[CHUCKLES] I promise you one thing,

if I do, you'll be the first to know.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

SHELLEY: Just a minute.

SHELLEY: Come in.

Oh, I thought you were the driver.

-Shelley, wait a minute. -No, I'm gonna miss my plane.

I have to talk to you.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] We talked this morning.

I wanna talk some more.

About what?

-Brad-- -I--

No. What I've been is what I am. A hooker.

You really think that my past is gonna change

just because you want it to?

Do you think you're gonna be able to walk into a restaurant

with me and not wonder who knows?

Or wonder why a waiter has a silly grin on his face?

You think you're gonna be able to handle that, huh?

-Do you, Brad? -[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Shelley, I wish I could.

Just get out of here. I don't wanna talk about it.

Just leave.

I wanted to say I love you so bad it hurt.

I still wanna say it.

The only reason I won't is because you won't believe me.

[EXHALES] Shelley...

just because I can't handle the--

your past...

doesn't mean some other guy can't handle it.

I promise you, someday you're gonna meet somebody

who couldn't care less about what you were.

He's gonna love you for what you've become.

And you wanna know something else?

[SNIFFLES] What?

BRAD: Letting you walk out...

[SIGHS] ...is something I think I'm gonna regret

for the rest of my life.

You're worth caring about, Shelley.

Go ahead and forget about everything else

that happened this weekend, but please

don't ever forget that.

[SNIFFLES] Do...

you have a handkerchief?

Sure.

I thought women had a dozen of these in their purse.

[CHUCKLES]

Women, yes. [SNIFFLES]

Hookers, no.

Hookers aren't supposed to cry. [CHUCKLES] Didn't you know that?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Dear.

Mr. Roarke, thank you for everything.

Especially Laura's fantasy.

And being a woman has made a new man of me.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] And you, Mrs. Walters, vice versa?

Vice versa, Mr. Roarke.

I may not understand the male,

but I can certainly sympathize with him.

Thank you so very much.

Entirely welcome, Mrs. Walters.

-Bye-bye. -Bye, Mr. Walters.

Ms. James, you look wonderful.

Ah, I'll take that as a compliment.

Are we to assume then that you have forsaken

your erstwhile profession?

For now. I can't promise anything.

I did try it once before, you know.

But you knew no other life then, Ms. James.

Now that you've had a taste of something different,

you're free to make a choice.

And I, for one, am confident you'll make the right one.

Thank you.

Oh, what the hell?

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪♪♪]