Original subtitles

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[BELL RINGING]

The plane! The plane!

-"The princess..." -[PLANE ENGINE ROARING]

Bye-bye.

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

-Good morning, boss. -Good morning, Tattoo.

Ah, good morning, Julie.

Mm-hmm. Uh, you know the family

that arrived yesterday with the three little kids?

Oh, yes, yes.

Well, I volunteered to baby-sit

while their parents went out for a little walk.

Oh, that was very considerate of you, Julie.

Well, the little walk was to the other side of the island,

and now they're trapped by a cloudburst,

and they can't get back till tomorrow.

Uh-oh.

[SIGHS] Mr. Roarke, I... I'm practically a nervous wreck.

They... they put a frog in my bathtub, and then...

Then I-- I found worms

-in the sugar bowl. -[CHUCKLES]

And who knows what they're up to right now!

Courage, my dear Julie.

I'm sure Tattoo will assume your duties

while you struggle through your noble deed.

[INHALES]

Thank you, Tattoo.

[GIGGLES]

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING]

Boss, who is that good-looking lady?

ROARKE: Miss Laurel Fandell,

who operates a gift shop in Torrington, Wyoming.

Her fantasy is to be something she has never been before...

a woman who is the center of all attention,

-revered, queen-like. -Take it from me, boss.

Most of the ladies want to be placed on a...

-Pedestal? -Pedestal.

Well, you're right, Tattoo.

But in Miss Fandell's particular case,

I fear her wish fulfillment...

may conjure up certain...

dark powers that are beyond my control.

ROARKE: That, uh, rather shy young man is Mr. Herbert Snyder,

a computer systems engineer.

His fantasy is to spend the weekend...

in a harem.

Boss, let me go with him... in case he needs me.

All his life, Mr. Snyder has been insecure

about forming any sort of personal relationships,

and he hopes that a harem experience

will give him the confidence he lacks.

Boss, you know lately, my-- my confidence is slipping.

Don't be too envious of Mr. Snyder yet, my friend.

His fantasy may be far more unsettling than he imagines.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[QUACKING]

[SIGHS] When does my fantasy start, Mr. Roarke?

Oh, I am prepared to grant it now.

But first, uh, there are certain things you should know.

Please have a seat, won't you?

Sure.

Somewhere in your past, hundreds of years ago...

a member of your family was a queen.

Queen of the Druids.

The Druids were an ancient people who

practiced the art of black magic.

Near here, there is an island where Stonehenge

has been resurrected...

and where they live as they did years ago,

and where they still practice that art...

and where they wait for a queen to rule over them,

as your ancestor did.

TATTOO: I don't think you should go.

It sounds too dangerous.

I really want this fantasy.

Very well. This way, please. Tattoo?

There's still time to change your mind, you know.

Nope... I'm ready.

Good luck, Miss Fandell.

ROARKE: Your fantasy can be fulfilled

only out of what you are.

It is possible to weave your future,

but only from the fibers of your own past...

and that of your ancestors.

That involves many... unknowns.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

What happened? Is this me?

The crown. She wears the crown.

Do I look okay, Mr. Roarke? I mean...

what do you wear to a harem?

Who do you ask?

Oh, you look very dapper, indeed, Mr. Snyder, eh, Tattoo?

It's a bit formal.

Well, perhaps, but I am sure Mr. Snyder's fantasy

will help him to loosen up.

Now, if you'll get in the car, our driver will take you

to the north end of the island, where your fantasy will begin.

Tattoo, what are you doing?

My job, boss. He's too nervous to go alone.

No, no, it's-- it's not nerves.

I'm having my first heart attack.

Actually, Mr. Snyder, I think you're going to be...

-just fine. -I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

You're okay.

-I'll be fine. -[ENGINE STARTS]

[INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING]

[PANTS] Where did you come from?

[CHUCKLES] Girls, look here.

-WOMAN 1: God! -WOMAN 2: Look!

-Isn't he cute? -[ALL CLAMORING]

-Well, hello. -ALL: Hi!

My name is... my name is Herbert... Snyder.

-[ALL CHEERING] -Herbert Snyder.

-WOMAN 3: Oh. [CHUCKLES] -My-- my friends...

-my friends call me Herbie. -ALL: Herbie!

Well, you must be Mr. Snyder, huh?

-Yes. My friends call me Herbie. -Herbie.

[LAUGHING] Oh, Herbie.

Why, why, why are you so shy, hmm?

I-- I-- I just picked it up somewhere.

Oh, well, now,

I'll just see if I can't put you at your ease, okay?

-Okay. -[CONTESSA SIGHS]

I'm called... Contessa...

and I understand that you want to be

in the harem, huh?

[ALL CLAMORING]

Well, are you quite certain that you won't be shocked...

by what you're going to encounter?

Oh, no, no, no. I, uh...

I've been around the block a couple of times.

-[ALL LAUGH] -Oh! Of course.

But I think I should explain that, um,

the experience might prove to be... quite... exhausting.

[ALL LAUGH]

[CHUCKLES] Well...

[ALL LAUGH]

CONTESSA: Oh, come on, Herbie! It's on to the harem!

WOMEN: Bye!

Aren't they-- aren't they coming with us?

No, no, love, the harem's not for us.

-It's for you. -Well, wait a minute.

-If they're not in the harem... -Mm-hmm.

...and you're not in the harem, who's in the harem?

[ALL LAUGH]

[LAUGHING]

Welcome to the Contessa's harem, buddy.

You'd better start getting in shape.

ALL: Carnute.

Carnute.

Carnute, Carnute...

Carnute...

Carnute, Carnute...

Carnute...

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

ETAIN: He has answered.

He has answered.

Etain! Etain!

Cybele, you know better than to interrupt.

I'm sorry. But she's here. The queen has come.

Look for yourself.

You see? She wears the crown.

-What is your name? -Laurel. Laurel Fandell.

Then it's true. Laurel, of course. And Fandell...

the corruption of the name Fand.

Was Fand your father's family name?

Yes, it was.

That was the old Gaelic spelling.

Tell me... have you a husband?

[CHUCKLES] No. Why?

Because that is the final sign.

You see, it is written that one day

the beautiful daughter of Fand shall appear

and restore your glories...

and she will be crowned your virgin queen.

[CHUCKLES]

Hear me... your high priestess.

Hear me, oh, children of the Druids.

Your long wait has finally come to an end.

Behold the daughter of Fand.

Behold Laurel, whose very home crowned ancient heroes.

Behold our queen.

Laurel!

ALL: Laurel!

Thank you, Mr. Roarke, wherever you are.

ALL: Laurel!

[LISA CLEARS THROAT]

You'd better not let Alvar catch you.

He'll be very angry if you avoid your weight training.

A firing squad couldn't get me to pick this thing up.

Besides... this is all a terrible mistake.

I don't belong here...

at Motel Macho.

Who, by the way, is Aldo?

Alvar.

The mean-looking one.

Ooh, yeah.

Come on.

-Oh... -Oh, sorry.

That's-- that's all right.

It was-- it was nice. Friendly.

Uh...

what did you mean when you said that there'd, uh,

been a mistake, that you don't belong here?

Well, when I came to Fantasy Island,

I thought there'd be...

you know...

-Oh, that there'd be girls? -Exactly.

I mean, Webster's Dictionary clearly defines a harem

as a household of...

of women.

Not men.

Oh.

I didn't know that.

-What's your name? -Herbert.

I'm Lisa.

Hello, Lisa.

It-- it has a...

a classic ring.

Actually, we shouldn't be doing this at all. [SIGHS]

We haven't done anything yet.

Although I get the distinct feeling that

I have been tried, found guilty, and-- and am now being held...

prisoner. I am.

Well, I guess you are, in a sense.

Well, I gotta get out of here.

Will you help me?

Herbert, Alvar has guards posted everywhere.

You'd better get out of here, Lisa,

before you get into bad trouble.

Now hear me good, pal.

Lisa is off limits. A definite no-no.

-Understand? -No, I don't understand.

And why do you suppose I'd take

orders from you, anyway?

'Cause I'll tear your head off

and play soccer with it if you don't.

Uh, that makes sense.

ALVAR: Besides which, that's the way

the Contessa wants it.

And I make sure she gets everything,

and I mean everything, she wants.

Now move it!

Time out. I mean, no fantasy.

Back to reality. This is... this is all a mistake.

I'm-- I'm Herb Snyder,

and this is a... this is a-- this is not right.

I'm sure it's not your fault, you know.

Now listen, pal...

before I met the Contessa, my life was one long drag

of pumping iron and pumping gas.

Now I'm living in fat city...

and I don't want anybody making waves.

Get the message?

Move it.

[QUACKING]

-[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -Yes? Come in.

-Come in. -HENLEY: Mr. Roarke.

Ah, Mr. Henley. How are you, sir?

I'm here to make a serious complaint.

Oh?

As you remember, I came here to do

a fantasy based on my favorite book,

The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I remember quite clearly, Mr. Henley.

But, uh, didn't we deliver your fantasy?

Well, no. I mean, I found myself in medieval Paris, all right.

I did meet the lovely Esmeralda.

[CHUCKLES]

And I saw the hunchback up there,

swinging on the bell rope.

He was so high up there,

he looked small to me. [CHUCKLES]

But he was magnificent. [CHUCKLES]

-Well? -His rope broke.

The rope broke?

The last time I saw him, he was falling to earth

like a brick, Mr. Roarke, yelling pathetically.

Now look, I either want a refund or I want to do a new fantasy.

Oh, certainly, Mr. Henley.

Certainly. If you'll just step outside,

my assistant, Julie, will make the necessary arrangements.

Is that satisfactory?

Yes. Maybe I could do my next favorite book,

Les Misérables.

You can't fall out of a sewer.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Boss! Boss!

I'll never do the Hunchback of Notre Dame

fantasy again, ever!

Not until you buy new ropes for all the bells.

I promise, Tattoo.

Look, boss.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

I'm sorry I'm so dumb about all this.

I always thought the Druids were either

ancient sorcerers or modern kooks.

Well, we try to encourage that image, my queen,

ever since our ancestors were crushed by the Romans

and the Groves of Mona destroyed.

I remember reading something about that in Greek literature.

But what interests me is the name Fand.

I've never heard it before.

Of course you haven't, darling.

You see, Paul is new among us. This is his first solstice.

But it won't be his last. He, uh...

he shows great promise.

Well, I'll take that as a compliment.

But it still doesn't explain Fand.

My grandparents never would talk about why

they changed the spelling.

There's an old tale, my queen...

about a fabled king of Ulster...

who one day blundered into a fairy forest,

and there saw a most beautiful fairy woman

named Fand.

She mocked him and tempted him...

and he wanted her badly, but he couldn't possess her...

because, you see...

he was human, and she was a woodland sprite.

It drove him mad.

And her punishment was... to be transformed

into a human... and to mother a cursed line.

PAUL: To mother a cursed line?

Aha. I suspected something dark and dreadful, my queen,

in one so beautiful.

There is another part of the fable which says...

that one day the daughter of Fand...

will rule as the queen of the Druids

and lift the curse.

In any case...

A queen is not for a mere mortal like you.

I'm afraid I don't feel much like a queen yet.

What am I supposed to do? What's expected of me?

All that will be explained tomorrow at the coronation.

-The coronation? -Of course.

Now come with me.

But in the meantime, enjoy the adoration

of your subjects.

PAUL: Hail to the Queen!

ALL: Hail to the Queen!

Hail to Queen Laurel!

Laurel, Queen of the Druids!

Laurel, Queen of the Druids!

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

There's no curse attached to a high priestess.

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

Only the promise of great pleasure.

Yes, I, uh, I can see.

Together you will stand with me as high priest.

And together we will give Queen Laurel

to Carnute as his bride.

Carnute is just a legend. A mythical creation.

He's given us a sign, he will appear.

Say he does appear...

what happens to her?

She's human.

To be joined to Carnute, she must die.

[SIGHS]

[SNYDER GRUNTS]

Here he is, Contessa.

Thank you, Alvar. That'll be all.

You may go, too, Rex.

Hello again.

Oh, I see you've met.

Why didn't you tell me, Lisa?

You're always so busy, Mother.

I didn't think you'd be interested.

-Mother? -[CONTESSA LAUGHING]

Of course I'm interested.

You'll have to forgive Lisa.

Seems that she doesn't approve of me or my lifestyle.

Having a harem is--

is decadent, immoral and immature.

Precisely what I had in mind.

The only meaningful relationship

is between one man and-- and... one woman.

-I totally agree. -Oh, really?

Then why did you come here in the first place?

-Oh, that was different. -Oh...

Well, I certainly didn't expect to find a--

That the harem was composed of men

and that the harem keeper was a woman?

[CHUCKLES] Oh, Herbie...

Oh, I'm afraid that you are basically

just a male chauvinist.

Any wealthy man... may keep acres

of nubile young women at his disposal

without affecting his public image in the slightest.

I've heard it all before.

Catherine the Great and Elizabeth I

had scores of lovers which didn't affect

their capabilities to rule in the slightest.

I believe you like this young man, Lisa.

Yes, I can feel a certain energy.

Why don't you take him?

What a disgusting way to put it.

Look, Lisa is not the sort of person who

picks out a... a lover as if she were

choosing a-- a used car.

Well, if you don't want Herbie, Lisa...

I do.

I'll expect you this evening, Herbie,

and uh... I know I won't be disappointed.

Come along, Lisa. Alvar!

Mother, you are terrible.

CONTESSA: Terrible, that I am, dear. I'm terrible.

Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

Okay, now I'm mad. Put me down.

Would you put me down?

[WIND HOWLING]

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

-My queen. -Oh, it's really not necessary.

But you are a queen.

Oh, I'm really someone from Torrington, Wyoming

who's having a wonderful fantasy.

I see.

[SIGHS] Believe me, to these people,

this is not a fantasy.

It's very, very real.

Could we talk somewhere alone?

Of course.

I don't know how to tell you this,

but you're in real danger.

Danger? From what?

Look, I'm not one of these people, not really.

This is just a research project for me.

[CHUCKLES] I-- I'm really sorry, but I don't know

what you're talking about.

Of course you don't. But you have to trust me.

I think I've heard this line somewhere before.

Please! I'm not playing games. I'm trying to save your life.

Okay.

This, uh...

so-called coronation tomorrow,

Etain told me what it really is.

It's a sacrificial rite, and you're the fatted calf.

Are you trying to tell me these people are murderers?

I'm telling you they're true believers.

There's no doubt in their mind

that some shaggy horror of a god is gonna

come out of the jungle tomorrow.

And they're gonna give you to him as his bride.

Do you believe this?

[SIGHS] Look, I know how it sounds.

But I'm talking about your pretty neck.

This god of theirs may be in their mind. I don't know.

But they'll kill you for him just the same.

Now you've got to get out of here now.

I think not, Paul.

To try to seduce our queen with wild lies

is a contemptible offense and shall be dealt with later.

Lock him up.

I'm sorry, my queen.

But there are always those who betray the order.

You see, he-- he mistook ritual for reality...

and would have stolen from you the most

magnificent experience of any queen... her coronation.

And here's the real answer to your doubts,

the veneration of your subjects.

ALL: Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

[BOLERO MUSIC PLAYING]

Yeah.

Going so soon?

And it's just the shank of the evening.

Look, Contessa, I've already made a fool of myself.

This is all a big mistake.

Anyway, I'm not much of a shank man.

Some people may find the rhythm old-fashioned,

but I simply adore-- I adore

the incessant, repetitive bolero.

Oh, it's so erotic and stimulating!

-Oh! Can you feel it? -No.

It's, uh-- actually, I feel a-- a little warm.

Warm? Oh.

Well, then perhaps we should just, uh,

-loosen this. -Oh, no, no, don't--

-Oh, come on, oh-- -don't do that.

No. Look, Contessa--

I... I mean, you're a beautiful lady,

but I'm not interested, you know?

[SMOOCHES]

Oh... Herbie...

Oh, Herbie, for someone who's not interested,

that was a very interesting kiss.

-Yeah, yeah. -Oh...

I find your honest shyness

positively thrilling. [CHUCKLING]

-Oh, no. -Oh, yes.

-Oh, yes. -Oh, no. No, no--

-Yes, yes, yes. -no, I-- no.

Ah! [GROANING]

Oh!

No man makes a fool of me in my own bedroom!

Alvar!

-Oh! No-- -I warned you once before!

This time you're gonna pay the price!

No, I-- Alvar, it's not what it looks like.

You see, we were pulling back and forth, back and forth.

One way we went, and-- Alvar!

[DOOR CLOSES]

CYBELE: Will there be anything else, my queen?

LAUREL: No, thank you, Cybele.

Then we'll be back in an hour...

to dress you for the coronation.

Thank you.

I see you find the weight of a queen's crown

to be light and pleasant, Miss Fandell.

-Mr. Roarke. -Is everything satisfactory?

I don't know that's exactly the right word.

-Oh? -There's something wrong.

-Wrong, Miss Fandell? -It's hard to explain.

Maybe it's just this mood or attitude, but...

there is something wrong.

-There's this young man named Paul. -[CLICKS TONGUE]

Ah.

I'm afraid I've gotten him into some trouble.

Well, it should be simple for you to correct that.

After all, you are the queen.

You're right!

What is wrong with me? I keep forgetting that.

He's under some sort of house arrest.

I'll just order them to let him go.

A queen must test her power to truly savor it.

Is there some special reason you're here, Mr. Roarke?

I was concerned, Miss Fandell,

that among those fibers of your past

which are woven into your fantasy...

a dark and evil one

might have appeared to threaten you.

A dark and evil one?

Then I wasn't just seeing things.

Listen carefully, Miss Fandell.

What was he doing?

The great god Pan down in the reeds by the river,

spreading ruin in an evil shower.

Splashing and trampling with the hooves of a goat.

Ravaging the golden lilies afloat,

but fleeing the silver acorn's power.

I don't think I understand.

You will, Miss Fandell.

This silver acorn...

Is very, very old...

but it is said to have certain powers

greatly feared by the forces of darkness.

Wear it, Miss Fandell.

Wear it... at all times.

If you have great need... I promise you,

the silver acorn will not fail you.

I promise, Mr. Roarke, I won't take it off.

Please. Please don't.

Mr. Roarke? Mr. Roarke?

ALVAR: Some of the other jocks around here

have been thinking about moving on.

But they'll all fall in line

when they see what I do to you later on.

Have a nice day, buddy boy.

Oh, Lisa!

Oh... I heard what you did to Mother.

It's so funny.

But it's also awful, because now Alvar is gonna

make an example of you, and I...

And you what?

Alvar used to be a professional fighter,

and I just don't want to see you get hurt.

I've never been real big on pain myself.

Is there another reason?

What other reason could there possibly be?

That's what I want to find out, but...

but not with Alvar breathing down our necks.

We've gotta get out of here, come on.

No! The guards!

We'll take our chances.

Come on.

Hey! Hey!

ETAIN: You are the symbol. You are the sign.

ALL: You are the symbol. You are the sign.

ETAIN: Be with us on thy special day, oh, Carnute.

Be pleased with thy children, and restore our work.

ETAIN: Oh, Carnute... you are the symbol, you are the sign.

ALL: You are the symbol, you are the sign.

-ETAIN: We need you now... -I want Paul released now.

I'm sorry, but he's not to come out

by order of the High Priestess.

LAUREL: I'm the queen.

GUARD: Look, I'm just doing what I'm told.

You can go in if you wish.

[DOOR CREAKING]

[SIGHS] This is quite an honor, Your Majesty.

Shh.

-What is it? -I just saw them praying.

At least, I think they were praying.

We've gotta get away.

If what you said is true, and I'm to be sacrificed,

they can't let you live either.

Laurel, it's now or never.

Okay.

Guard, I'm ready to leave now.

Oh!

[GUARD GROANS]

Take him back.

My queen, I am sorry for the disturbance.

Cybele, prepare her.

[ALL CHANTING] Carnute. Carnute.

Carnute. Carnute.

Carnute. Carnute.

Carnute.

-Lisa, does that... -[LISA SIGHS]

...does that bridge look familiar to you?

-Vaguely. -Yeah, it should.

It's the third time we passed it.

Oh, Herbert, I'm sorry. I thought I knew this place.

Don't be upset. If we're going in circles,

Alvar's dummies are, too.

Let's sit down.

I think you look tired.

[PANTS]

You don't like that place much.

Why do you stay?

You know the Contessa is my mother...

and it's not something I'm exactly proud to admit--

Lisa, you don't have to be ashamed.

I mean, just because your mother is into...

I mean, that doesn't mean that--

that you have the same...

Does it?

Actually, it is just the opposite.

Mother has me watched day and night.

I've never really known a man before.

We have a lot in common.

I learn about things from-- from books.

There are no books about women.

And I love ladies. I mean, their beauty,

their mystery... they astound me.

But... when I get close, I...

I came here to Fantasy Island to...

to experience... learn...

-to prove to myself that-- -[EXHALES]

Herbert...

you don't have anything to prove.

You know how I know?

Because I'm a woman.

ALVAR: Over here!

BOTH: Oh!

HERBERT: Alvar!

Oh! Oh!

We... are in trouble. [PANTS]

My queen, I have a necklace

of real acorns for you to wear.

ROARKE: If you have great need, I promise you,

the silver acorn will not fail you.

-No. I'll wear this one. -Yes, my queen.

It is nearly high 12:00.

I'm ready.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I hope Alvar won't be hard on him.

I found this paperweight on Mother's desk.

Alvar, do you really think this is necessary?

This is my show.

I'd like to handle it.

Any time you're ready.

How about right now?

[ALVAR CHUCKLING] Come on now, let's go.

Come on, that's it. Ooh, that was good.

Come on, come on. [LAUGHING]

Come on, that's it.

[LAUGHTER]

It's hopeless.

Whoa! [LAUGHING]

-Ooh! -That's it.

A little closer. Oh! Watch out.

Watch it now. [LAUGHING]

Ooh!

Hey, wait. Wanna hit me?

Come on, put one right here. Come on. [LAUGHING]

Put one right here. That's it.

Come on. [LAUGHS] Hit me right here. That's it.

-Ugh... -Oh! Alvar!

-Alvar! Alvar! -Hey!

[CHUCKLES]

Come on!

There are boats in the cove

on the other side of the island!

-Okay. -Hey, go, get 'em!

Oh!

Are you all right?

-Go on without me. -No, no.

We're leaving here together. Come on.

Look! Mr. Roarke must have sent it.

-Who? -Never mind.

Just get in the car.

Take us to the cove, would you please?

Hurry!

[ALL CHANTING] Carnute. Carnute.

Carnute.

Carnute.

Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

ALL: Laurel, Queen of the Druids.

Laurel, bride to Carnute.

ALL: Laurel, bride to Carnute.

Oh, great Carnute...

the years of waiting are over.

Your children and your bride bid you welcome.

Carnute.

ALL: Carnute.

[ALL CHANTING]

Carnute!

-[THUNDER RUMBLES] -Carnute!

Carnute!

[ROARING]

ROARKE: If you have great need,

the silver acorn will not fail you.

[ROARING]

[ALL CHANTING]

[ROARS]

[ROARING]

The silver acorn! Where did you get it?

Throw it away... No!

No...

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

[ROARING]

[SCREAMS]

[ROARS]

Paul! Paul!

Paul!

It's over, Miss Fandell.

Your fantasy has ended.

[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING]

Your Majesty.

I guess I deserve that, Mr. Roarke.

Oh, but I'm not mocking you, Miss Fandell. No.

When you were faced with the ultimate challenge,

you were most regal indeed.

[CHUCKLES] Thank you.

Did it all really happen?

Who is to say what is truly real

and what is fantasy, Miss Fandell?

However...

some things are very real indeed.

-[LAUREL GASPS ] Paul! -Laurel.

LAUREL: Oh, Paul! Oh!

Paul is a researcher at a university.

He studied the Druids.

I have a new research program.

-How to woo a queen. -Oh...

I made you this present, mistletoe.

-Oh, thank you. Thank you both. -Are you gonna wear it?

Uh, no way. I'm gonna find me a nice house,

and I'm gonna hang some of this over every doorway.

-Thank you. -Thank you, Mr. Roarke.

-Goodbye, Miss Fandell. -Goodbye.

-Goodbye, sir. -Goodbye.

-Tattoo. -Goodbye.

Mr. Roarke, uh,

I want to thank you for a wonderful fantasy.

More importantly, for a wonderful wife.

The wedding you arranged was lovely.

It was my pleasure.

My best wishes.

-[ROARKE CHUCKLES] -Thank you both.

-Goodbye, sir. -Goodbye.

Boss, I bet the Contessa is plenty mad.

Why not ask her yourself?

Ah, I'm not angry, Tattoo.

No. [CHUCKLES] I'm grateful.

I may not be the greatest mother in the world,

but... I love my daughter.

Indeed. You see, Tattoo, the Contessa also had a fantasy.

To have her daughter meet someone who would love her

for herself, not her money.

Yes, and...

[SIGHS] ...now that that's settled,

I just might give up my harem...

to spend one evening alone with you.

Perhaps some other time, Contessa.

-Some other time. -[CONTESSA LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪♪♪]