Original subtitles

[PLAYING THEME MUSIC]

The plane! The plane!

"After all this bother, the princess..."

-Bye-bye! -ALL: Bye!

Good morning, boss.

Good morning, Tattoo.

Good morning, Mr. Roarke.

-Good morning, Julie. -Good morning.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

ROARKE: Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

[TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

TATTOO: Boss, it must be a mistake.

ROARKE: Why is that?

Because the passenger list said that

two showgirls were supposed to arrive.

And so they are. Those ladies are

Miss Joan Michaels and Miss Ruby Rogers

from a senior citizens' retirement home

in Lee's Summit, Missouri.

Their fantasy is to appear

in a Fantasy Island revival of the Ziegfeld Girls.

Ah, Mr. Roarke, I'm sure they're very nice ladies,

but are they up to it?

ROARKE: Oh, it won't be all that difficult.

You see, those ladies were once Broadway stars

of the original Ziegfeld Follies of 1926.

Oh! That's nice!

We're letting them be young again!

Unfortunately, it will test their friendship to the limit,

possibly destroy it for all time.

Who is that man, Mr. Roarke?

He calls himself Mr. Nick.

His real name is Mephistopheles.

-You mean the Devil? -Yes.

ROARKE: The Prince of Darkness, the incarnation of evil.

What does he want here?

My ardent enemy claims to be on a holiday.

Actually, he has come to ensnare

that which he has always coveted.

TATTOO: What's that, boss?

My immortal soul.

Boss, that's terrible!

Let me help you.

Thank you, my friend, but I have a very special assignment for you.

Why do you let Satan come here?

Both of you must realize

that evil exists in all the world.

Unfortunately, I have no power to keep it off Fantasy Island.

ROARKE: Mr. Ned Plummer,

a shoe salesman from Brooklyn, New York.

He is an ardent admirer

and serious student of the Old West,

especially that flamboyant and deadly breed of men, the outlaws.

You mean like Jesse James?

Or the Dalton Boys.

Precisely. But Mr. Plummer has a very special interest

in another outlaw of the same period,

a certain Kid Corey, who disappeared

with the profits of the first million-dollar bank robbery in American history.

Don't tell me Mr. Plummer wants to go back in time

to steal the loot.

You mean take it away from Kid Corey?

Julie, Tattoo, you both underestimate the depths

of Mr. Plummer's scholarly dedication.

His fantasy is, indeed,

to go back to the days of the Old West,

but only so he may be, for one weekend,

a member of the outlaw clan

and actually meet in person the legendary Kid Corey himself.

But boss, if Kid Corey figures it out,

just like you did,

Mr. Plummer's gonna get shot.

That is a possibility

that has not eluded my consideration, Tattoo.

And I will alert Mr. Plummer of that very real danger.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Precious, no, no, no, no, no!

You circle. Keep circling around.

That's it. Keep your heads up and your arms out.

I said come on, heads up! Get your heads up!

And smile! Smile. That's it, big smiles.

Big smiles.

Ah, the great Florenz Ziegfeld himself.

ROARKE: Indeed.

Girls, remember, the posture. Keep it right.

RUBY: The costumes are lovely.

Oh, thank you.

Might I take a look?

Oh, by all means.

Julie, will you escort Miss Rogers?

Certainly.

CARL: Billie, come on, smile! Smile!

Do you think we're two silly old ladies

for wanting this fantasy, Mr. Roarke?

No, on the contrary. I think it's charming.

Well, you see, we want to taste those times again.

They were wonderful days, Mr. Roarke.

We had the courage to be corny,

sentimental, enthusiastic,

and we were still confident and proud of ourselves.

It was Broadway, the Great White Way.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

-Oh, Grandmother, it is you! -Billie!

Oh, Grandmother!

Oh, I know. What am I doing here, right?

Well, what else? I'm following in your footsteps.

I'm trying out for the Ziegfeld Girls revival.

I bet that's why you're here, too, right?

Um... To see it! Right!

-[SIGHS] -Well, Billie, this is quite a surprise.

Oh, it's great!

Oh, I want you to meet Carl Wagner.

He's directing the show.

How do you do?

Mr. Roarke, this talkative young lady here

is my granddaughter, Billie Michaels.

How do you do, Miss Michaels?

I know Mr. Wagner, of course.

Hi, boss, how you doing?

Billie's told me a lot about you, Miss Michaels.

Maybe you'll drop by rehearsal later on and give me

a few pointers on how it was done in the old days?

The old days.

Of course, I'd love to.

Great, great. Now, I've got things to do, so I'd better go.

See you in a minute, honey, okay?

Okay.

Ah, isn't he wonderful? I know I'm in love.

And I think he is, too.

I'll see you later. [GIGGLES]

Mr. Roarke, just what are you trying to pull off?

I beg your pardon?

I... We didn't come here to tell anyone how the show was done

in the good old days.

If that's all there is to it,

I'd have stayed home.

Now, you make us young, or we're going to leave Fantasy Island.

PLUMMER: Dangerous? Of course I know it could be dangerous.

Kid Corey is supposed to have killed 27 men.

And he didn't even count foreigners.

If you think that you are here to take away

the one million dollars he stole from the bank,

you may be the 28th.

Tattoo is right, Mr. Plummer.

You must understand, everything in your fantasy will be real.

Everything, including guns and bullets.

That's why I'm here.

Look. I'm a shoe salesman from Brooklyn

who's never been west of the Hudson.

This could be the biggest thing that happens to me.

Let's hope it is not the last thing that happens.

PLUMMER: Don't worry.

I've read everything in the public library about the Old West.

I know Kid Corey better than he knew himself.

He was a Robin Hood, a ladies’ man,

an adventurer, a romantic.

Look. I even had a copy made of this "Wanted" poster of him.

It looks very much like you.

Very well, Mr. Plummer.

You've convinced me. Tattoo.

Now, if you'll just step this way, please.

You're kidding. A saw horse?

Yes. If you'll just sit in the saddle, please.

Really?

You're serious!

Oh, very serious, indeed.

Well... [CHUCKLES] Here I go.

And, Mr. Plummer, one usually gets on a horse from the left side.

Of course. I was just testing.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

-Mr. Plummer. -Huh?

The left leg.

Left, oh, yes.

I feel a little foolish up here.

You want your fantasy to begin, don't you?

Mr. Roarke, do you... Mr. Roarke?

[STAMMERS] Mr. Roarke?

ROARKE: Remember, Mr. Corey, the bullets will be real.

Mr. Roarke, Mr....

[EXCLAIMS]

Hey. This is great.

[LAUGHS]

Come on, boy!

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[URGING HORSES]

[GUNSHOTS]

[PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]

MEPHISTOPHELES: Roarke!

[CHUCKLES]

You have come to my party. How nice!

And you've brought your lovely godchild. Can I get you a drink?

No, thank you.

Loosen up, Roarke.

I'm not here on business. I'm taking a few days off.

A vacation?

You?

Even the Devil needs his rest.

I cannot tell you how tiring it is doing evil day in, day out.

Yes, poor Satan.

Burnout must be an occupational hazard in your profession, yes.

Well, I would be delighted to arrange for your early retirement.

Believe me, Roarke,

I would love to step down.

But what can I do?

There is such a demand for my services.

Yes, but you did not come to Fantasy Island

to trap such easy prey, did you?

[LAUGHS]

Do you know my mind?

No, but I know your game.

It never changes.

You are after my immortal soul.

Yours?

Oh, Roarke.

What ego!

There are other souls here that are worth having, too, you know.

I did warn you...

that we would meet again, didn't I?

This time, I will win.

I'll bet you don't.

Julie, it is most unwise to wager with the Devil.

Why don't you join me at the party?

Oh! I can show you some real action.

You get away from me.

Very well. We'll talk later.

When your keeper is not around.

[SIGHS]

You must be very careful, Julie.

I'm afraid that now you are in grave danger, too.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

ROARKE: Yes?

[CLEARS THROAT] May we come in?

Oh, by all means, please do.

Well, ladies, are you ready?

For what?

I beg your pardon?

Joan hinted you've already botched things up so far.

Well, I will try to do better.

Joanie, Joanie, that's us!

Oh, I was so beautiful.

Yes, Ruby, you've told me before.

Mr. Roarke, can we really look like that again?

Oh, yes. With certain conditions.

Well, anything. You say it and we'll do it, whatever it is.

Very well. Have a seat, won't you? Please.

First, you must never tell anyone, under any conditions,

that you are only having a fantasy,

or it will end immediately. Agreed?

Please remember that you will return to your present ages

after this weekend, and nothing can prevent that.

Nothing.

Well, half a loaf or even a few crumbs are better than none.

Of course, you remember the song that Florenz Ziegfeld made famous

in his glorification of American beauty.

He called you "the most beautiful women in the world."

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Think back to those times.

The early '20s.

Recapture the mood.

Remember how it was.

Remember how you looked.

The greats of the Ziegfeld Follies. Ah, yes.

Their names were legendary, indeed.

W.C. Fields,

Al Jolson,

and Eddie Cantor,

George M. Cohan,

Will Rogers,

music by George Gershwin.

Well, ladies. [CLAPS]

Satisfactory?

[GASPS]

[JOANIE SQUEALS]

Oh, Mr. Roarke!

We take it all back.

-JOANIE: You're wonderful. -RUBY: Look at these legs!

There's not a varicose vein anywhere!

Well, I certainly don't need my cane, Mr. Roarke. Please.

[GASPS] Arthritis, rheumatism,

lumbago.

[BOTH SQUEALING]

Well, Billie's young man wanted to know

how it was done in the old days.

Let's show him!

Oh, Mr. Roarke, thank you!

[GIGGLING]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[GUNSHOTS]

Who are you?

The question is, boy, who the hell are you?

Hey, Red! Who do you reckon the guy in the black suit is?

Who do you think?

That's some gunslinger the Kid hired to knock us off

so he can get away clean with all the money!

Always thinking, that Kid.

Yeah.

Ain't no smelly old goat like that gonna outthink Red O'Toole!

No, sir. I'll con him.

And when he shows hisself, you two shoot him.

[LAUGHS]

RED: Now you be ready!

Hey, Kid!

It's your old pal, Red!

We don't mean no harm!

We just wanna palaver about that little misunderstanding!

You hear me, Kid Corey?

[STAMMERING]

Why did he call you Kid Corey?

Well, robbing banks takes quite a toll on a man.

I'm younger than I look.

I'm not talking about your age.

I'm talking about your name.

Look... Look at this.

This is the real Kid Corey.

That's me before I grew my beard.

Perfect likeness.

Looks to me like the printer messed up.

Who are these guys, anyway?

Well, Sanders is that little squirt.

A fallen ribbon salesman. Big Ed is the tall one.

He was a devout pickpocket till I took him in tow.

And the other guy?

That's Red O'Toole, triple bigamist, killer.

You know, usual run-of-the-mill types.

Sure.

These are your... These are your ex-partners in crime

who you double-crossed, and now they're coming after you

to get their share of the loot!

[LAUGHS] That's right. And I'd have got away with it, too,

if my horse hadn't gone lame.

How come you're so all-fired interested in me?

Oh, well, that's because you're the first man

to get away with a million-dollar bank robbery in American history.

I've read everything there is about you.

You read about me?

-[GUNSHOTS] -Why, we knocked that bank over

it wasn't two hours ago.

You sure you ain't one of them Pinkerton men

trying to set a trap for me, boy?

No, no, no, no way!

My name is Ned Plummer.

I'm from Brooklyn, and this is all my fantasy.

I paid for it.

You can check with Mr. Roarke about this whole thing.

I believe you, boy. Yeah.

I believe you. You should have told me this in the first place.

I'd have understood.

And as soon as I have time, I'll do what you said there.

I'll check with this Mr. Storke and find out--

No, Roarke, Roarke.

-Yeah, well, whatever it is. -Yeah, yeah.

See, the thing is,

I'm in a little trouble here,

and seeing as how you think so highly of me...

Yeah, sure, Kid.

I'm gonna scout around and see if I can find us a way out of here.

I want you to keep your eyes on these polecats.

You keep them pinned down and watch for me to give you the signal to join me.

You can rely on me.

I'm gonna do just that, kid.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You start shooting now.

Kid! Come back!

Kid! Come back!

Hey, Kid, wait for me!

Kid, where are you going?

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[GASPS]

What are you doing here?

Oh.

I'm just taking the air. I get so few opportunities on my job.

Julie, I hope I'm not late.

[SCREAMS]

-[GASPS] -Julie, help!

Help! Help me!

Julie, do something!

I'm sinking!

Julie!

What a pity. It looks like she's going to die.

It is such a shame. She's so beautiful.

Please, help her!

Julie, get me out of here!

You really do want me to help you, don't you?

You know who I am.

I want to make one thing perfectly clear.

You are calling on the powers of darkness for help.

Am I correct?

Please! Help her!

Very well.

JULIE: Hold on!

That's right, my dear. You look after her.

For now.

We'll meet later.

We have business to discuss.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

No, girls. No, no! Come on.

Look, just take five. Take five.

JOANIE: It's not good. Flo would have died.

Well, it just lacks Flo's sure hand and feeling.

I suppose you two knew the immortal Flo himself, hmm?

Well, you might say we know his style intimately.

Oh, great! So everybody's an expert.

You weren't even a twinkle in your father's eye when Ziegfeld was around.

In fact, your father probably wasn't even a twinkle in his father's eye.

[ALL LAUGHING]

That's true.

Ruby reads a lot.

Well, maybe you could just show us exactly

what you think the real Flo would have done.

My pleasure.

JOANIE: Okay.

Here's the secret.

When you're up there,

you aren't just dancers and you aren't just showgirls.

You're Ziegfeld girls!

You're the best!

It isn't just a walk or a step.

It's an attitude.

You're American women.

You're the most beautiful women in the world.

Believe that.

Tell that to the audience, and they'll believe it, too,

because they know it's true.

May we have some music, please?

[A PRETTY GIRL IS LIKE A MELODY PLAYING]

Show them, Ruby.

JOANIE: ♪ A pretty girl is like a melody

♪ That haunts you night and day

♪ Just like the strain of a haunting refrain

♪ She'll start upon a marathon

♪ And run around your brain

♪ You can't escape ♪

That's enough.

That gives you the idea.

Ruby.

You were wonderful.

Was I?

Yes.

Coming down those stairs,

you were really the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

Tell me more.

I'd love to.

Let's talk for a minute, Ruby.

Don't go away.

No.

Girls, take an early lunch break, will you?

Leave him alone.

You know I've always had a weakness for directors.

And producers and stars and other peoples' husbands.

That was a long time ago.

But this isn't.

He belongs to Billie.

He belongs to whoever can get him.

To quote you, "If I knew then what I know now."

Well, I do know now, and I'm gonna use it.

They've got their whole life ahead of them.

And all I've got is just this one weekend.

You can't ruin two lives.

Not again. And I'll stop you this time.

No, you won't, Joanie.

You can't.

[ACCORDION PLAYING]

Tattoo!

Boy, are you a sight for sore eyes.

And sore feet.

-[GROANS] -Mr. Plummer, are you enjoying your fantasy?

I have to give in. Mr. Roarke was right.

Everything is all messed up.

And Kid Corey is nothing but a treacherous, rotten, dirty old...

you know what.

That poster of his is even a phony.

Let's go back to Fantasy Island.

Mr. Plummer. I don't think you understand.

I thought that my boss told you that once you start your fantasy,

you cannot turn back.

Are you kidding?

He stole my horse.

He's probably 20 miles away from here by now.

And he set me up to be killed. Me!

His greatest fan!

If I get my hands on him, I'm gonna take him...

Mr. Plummer, if you go in that direction,

you will find Kid Corey.

And when you do, well, let your conscience be your guide.

"Conscience."

That old fox is probably 20, 30 miles out there by now.

[SCOFFS]

Tattoo, you're... Gone.

[GRUMBLING]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

Are you going somewhere?

To see Mr. Roarke.

He'll know how to deal with you.

Well, he's not your master anymore.

I am.

Never.

But you made a deal with me to save that girl.

Only after you trapped her.

You were gonna let her die.

Nevertheless, we have a contract.

It's the standard form.

I did your bidding. Now it is your turn to do mine.

You will never have power over me.

I already have.

You belong to me.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Mr. Roarke?

Ah, Julie.

I'm glad you came.

I am very concerned. Please sit down.

I have done battle with the Devil on many occasions,

and I have always managed to outwit him.

He seems so arrogant, so frightening, so sure of himself.

Perhaps he feels the law of averages are against me this time.

In any case, I have laid a trap for him.

Let me help you, please.

Yes.

Yes.

I want you to keep this safe for me.

What is it?

Something which will sway the odds in our favor.

What's in it?

No, that's a secret I cannot reveal to anyone.

But whatever you do,

you must not open this box.

I must have your word on it.

I promise, of course.

Good.

Keep the box with you at all times.

I will tell you more later, when I can.

I'll guard it with my life.

I know you will.

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[MEPHISTOPHELES LAUGHING]

That's right, Julie.

I'm here.

Inside of you.

You belong to me.

You can come out now, Kid.

I know you're around here somewhere.

All I want is my horse.

How'd you find me?

Well, Tattoo said that... Never mind.

I followed your trail, you dirty double-crosser.

[LAUGHS]

Won't do you no good to flatter me.

I ain't cutting you in, boy.

How much you say I got away with?

In cash.

A million dollars.

One million dollars!

[EXCLAIMS]

Sounds like enough to comfort me in my old age, don't it?

That's stolen money.

No good can come from ill-gotten gains.

Lordy me, boy. What world you been livin' in?

Maybe you're one of them gun-toting preachers

that's been cluttering up this territory.

No, I'm just a shoe salesman who believed all that baloney

about the Robin Hoods of the West.

Robin Hood!

You're nothing but a smelly, backstabbing, double-dealing,

treacherous old curmudgeon.

Nobody

calls me old!

Well, I do!

And now, I'm gonna go over there and get on my horse

and ride out of here,

and I hope I never set my eyes on you again!

Boy!

You'd be a lot safer if you turned around.

I never shoot nobody in the front.

Well, maybe you'd better make an exception in this case,

'cause I have had it up to here with you.

And now, I am gonna take that gun--

[GUNSHOTS]

Maybe we'd better skedaddle out of here.

Oh, no! Oh, no. I'm tired of you and your friends messing up my fantasy.

Uh-huh?

[CHUCKLES]

Okay! Okay, you windbags, come on over here!

You're just figments of my imagination, anyhow!

[EXCLAIMING]

[WHOOPING]

Look, they're all gone!

MATT: We got you, Kid Corey, whichever one you be.

[♪♪♪♪♪♪]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

Here is the box.

Thank you, Julie.

We will build a fire of juniper wood

and burn the contents of the box.

It's a vital condition.

But the brick won't burn.

No.

But it has confirmed my worst fears.

Julie would not have known about the brick.

My godchild would never have broken her word

and looked inside the box.

I know what you have done.

MEPHISTOPHELES: Not bad, Roarke.

That brick really had me going.

It was a clever ruse.

It was nothing compared

to the convoluted deviousness of your traps.

You are after me,

and yet you ensnare Julie, of all people.

Oh, come on now, Roarke. You didn't think I'd be

such a fool as to attack you directly.

Not with your dear, little godchild so near at hand,

ready to be plucked.

She hasn't had an evil thought in all her life.

All the more reason, Roarke, why I delight in her downfall.

Excuse me.

One moment.

I will talk to Julie.

Too late.

Get out of my way.

Julie, you must hear me.

Answer me.

JULIE: Help me. Please.

As long as you are alive, Julie,

you are the master of your own soul.

No one, no power,

can take from you your choice of heaven or hell.

While you breathe, I will help.

Join your will to mine.

Now.

There was no need to be violent, Roarke.

All you had to do was ask me politely,

and I would have left her body.

You should know, it's her soul I'm after.

And I will take that.

At midnight, tomorrow.

No.

Please, save me.

Roarke, there is a way.

Yes!

She is mine.

Unless, of course,

you offer me your soul in place of hers.

Now, I think you'll agree,

I know you better than you know yourself.

And you are not the sort of man

to let your godchild down.

It's checkmate, Roarke.

At midnight tomorrow, you will agree to serve me.

I will own you, Roarke.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

KID COREY: Sheriff.

Chester.

Well, what is it now, old man?

Now that's just the point, Sheriff, Your Honor.

I'm just a poor old man that was took kidnapped by the Kid there.

You know, that's that murdering, bank-robbing Kid Corey there.

Well, I knows that one of you is.

Oh, Sheriff, Your Worship.

I'm just a snake oil peddler that he robbed and kidnapped

and made go along with him for company.

You saw him run off those three enemies of his.

He's mean. He's a killer.

Isn't there some kind of a reward or something out

for capturing him and hanging him?

A reward?

Yes, sir, there is, Sheriff.

Oh, I remember now. Yeah, it's a thousand dollars.

And I can prove that he's the Kid.

Proof positive?

Pure positive.

Chester.

Whoa!

Proof first.

It's in his vest pocket there.

It's a "Wanted" poster with his picture on it.

Big as life! He's very proud of it.

I'll check first.

Hey, what... [GROANS]

MATT: Let's take a look at this poster.

All right, Chester.

Adios, old man.

What's he doing out there?

Remember now thy creator in the days of thy youth

and the evil days that... Etcetera there... Repent, you sinner! Repent!

You, Sheriff, you are an honor to your profession, sir.

Good day, sir.

You're not letting him go! That's Kid Corey!

He's a killer, a bank robber!

Lying and trickery will do you no good now.

And carrying this around will just stretch your neck, Kid.

Chester, we get us a trial started right away.

CHESTER: Yes, sir. I'll round up the boys, Matt.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Ruby!

We're going to talk.

Excuse us, please.

Tell him to go, or I'll end all of this right now for both of us.

Carl, let me talk to her alone, okay?

Will I see you later?

-Yeah. Later. -All right.

Have you forgotten what you are?

What we both really are?

Two old ladies having a last fantasy.

No, I'm young, even if it's just for a little while.

And, Joanie, I really love him.

[SIGHS]

You've never loved anybody in your whole life but yourself, Ruby.

All right. Maybe that's true.

Maybe that's why I really need to love someone now.

Your need was always to take someone away from somebody else.

We were friends,

working together in the Follies.

Really friends.

Still, you needed my husband.

Broke up our marriage.

Yet we stayed friends.

No. Not always.

I hated you so much,

I once bought a gun and was going to kill you.

Later, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

There had been enough unhappiness.

But this is different.

Carl's young, and he belongs to Billie.

Let them be young and happy together.

This time, let the other woman win!

For me.

For yourself.

Joanie, I...

I never knew that you ever really hated me.

That was a long time ago.

You don't have to worry about nobody loving you anymore,

'cause I love you.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Your affairs are in order, Julie.

Yes.

You understand everything I have told you?

Yes, I understand.

Don't be afraid, Julie.

I'm sorry.

I can't help it.

You're stronger than you know.

I won't let you down, Mr. Roarke.

The Devil isn't infallible, you know.

There are many ways to slip through his traps.

I have done it many times.

But how?

I have an idea that might work,

a scheme in his own design.

But first, we must have

the most serious conversation two people can have.

It is a question of how much we love and trust each other.

MATT: All right, boys. Let's have a little quiet and get this thing over with.

Now, this here be proof positive

that this is the man.

And I be claimin' the reward.

Now, you wants to confess?

No, I do not wants to confess. I'm innocent!

This is all just a fantasy.

[STAMMERS] I'm not Kid Corey.

Look, I'm a shoe salesman from Brooklyn, and I--

Will you shut?

-[DOOR OPENS] -Now.

[WHISTLES]

Who...

Who in tarnation are you?

My dear man, I am Cissy Darumple of the New York Daily News.

And this is my assistant, Donald.

I am at large in the West doing a story about quaint and colorful characters.

Someone said there was a famous desperado imprisoned here.

Ladies ain't allowed at a hangin'.

You don't look so desperate to me, little man.

Not me. That's him over there.

That's Kid Corey, the killer and bank robber.

Oh, my! This is exciting, Miss Darumple.

Yeah.

Kid Corey, eh?

Hmm.

He does look a little quaint at that.

And cute, too.

Look, lady, will you help me get out of here? I'm innocent.

Ooh. Wish I could say that.

I wish we had more time, Kid.

We could write a story together,

if you know what I mean.

But don't worry.

I'll use my imagination.

Oh, wait. Don't you want to hear the truth?

Look. What about your editorial responsibility?

You know, power of the press?

Nobody leaves!

What about Kid Corey? He's getting away with a million dollars!

Smile.

MATT: Now, we gonna get on with this trial.

Wait a minute. You can't have a trial without a judge.

Oh, well, Matt's the judge, too.

MATT: Correct. Duly elected.

Best hanging judge we ever had!

Now everybody just stay quiet!

We're gonna do this nice and legal.

Guilty or not guilty?

Not guilty.

He says, "Not guilty."

Everybody here think he's guilty, say "aye."

-ALL: Aye! -Let's hang him!

It appears, Corey, that you is guilty.

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. This court is now adjourned.

[ALL CHEERING]

MAN: Hang him!

This is our fantasy, Ruby.

-This is what we came for! -[BOTH GIGGLING]

Good luck.

Thank you.

No, Joanie. It's okay.

Come on. Let's go!

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[1920S MUSIC PLAYING]

Boy, weren't we something?

We still are.

Come on, Joanie. We've got something important to do.

But this is our big moment.

I know.

Let's go.

Joanie, I'm not very good at this kind of talk,

but I just want you to know that your friendship means more to me

than anything else, including Carl.

You remember when...

Well, you remember when you broke up our little love scene?

Yes. I was going to tell Carl about our fantasy.

Mr. Roarke said that if we told anybody...

Exactly.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Okay, ladies. Five minutes, please.

Oh, hey, cutie. Come on in here.

I want you to listen very carefully.

Now, we're only having a fantasy, and...

I'm really a 79-year-old woman and she's 73.

Huh?

Thanks a lot. Thanks.

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Excuse me, what did you say? Just...

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

You know something?

All this really does belong to the young.

We were then. They are now.

And what's in between is just a haunting old memory.

Yes, Joanie, you were right.

Young boys do belong to young girls.

Yeah.

And it serves them both right!

Well, what is it you want now, ma'am?

This place is gonna be mighty busy in a few minutes.

I always like to get a man's approval.

Don't want him to think I'm taking advantage of him.

Why don't you and the sheriff go outside and take a picture, Donald.

Of me? For the paper?

That, too.

Of course, I may want to keep a copy for my own memoirs.

Later on.

Yes, ma'am.

Come on, Chester. I wants to make sure I get that reward.

Any direct quotations you'd like to add to my story?

I'm innocent.

Oh, I'd like to help you out, sweetheart,

but we're running out of time, if you know what I mean.

Of course, I'll do my best for you, post-mortem.

Listen.

"Robin Hood of the West dies on the gallows,

"proclaiming love for unknown woman."

That's the heading.

"What raging passion of the heart

"drove this infamous killer and bank robber, known as Kid Corey,

"to pillage and murder?

"Noted as a lothario and heartbreaker, the Kid..."

I read the piece. Pure hogwash.

You read it?

But I just wrote it.

I know.

But I read it a year ago in the public library

along with a lot of other garbage about Kid Corey.

Um...

You go on about how "he seduced countless women in the West

"in the search for the one woman he loved, who somehow eluded him."

Lucky lady.

And then... And then you go on about how

he put together a bloody fortune to give her

when he did find her.

[STAMMERING] And then...

Wait! Wait, lady!

This is all just a fantasy!

Or is it?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, Kid, it's time.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Out of the way! Well, we got a good day for it.

Any last words, Kid?

Crime pays.

For some people.

Unregenerate to the end.

Get.

Out of the way, kids. We got a hangin' going on.

[CHUCKLING]

Tattoo! Would you believe it,

I thought you and Mr. Roarke had forgotten all about me.

Let me sink or swim or something like that.

I'll tell you something. I've learned a great deal about all this nonsense,

all that romantic stuff about the gunfighters and all that.

What are you gonna do with that rope? Tattoo...

Tattoo, what... Tattoo, what are you doing?

Tattoo, don't pull that thing. What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna fulfill your fantasy.

That's what the boss told me to do.

Don't! Don't pull that thing, because if you pull that thing, I will--

[EXCLAIMS]

[GROANS]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

I'm glad to see that you are punctual.

Julie and I fulfill our legal obligations.

We require the same of you, of course.

You may rest assured.

I may despise justice, but I adore the letter of the law.

Oh? I shall remember that.

Now, my contract with Julie was oral,

but I have here a certified agreement.

I do hope you're not going to challenge it.

No.

No, I admit that you have a legal claim against Julie's soul.

-You do? -Mm-hmm.

Now that's not like you, Roarke. What's the catch?

No catch. I can't stop you from taking what's yours.

That is marvelous. You've become quite reasonable.

-Thank you. -No, thank you.

Come along, Julie.

There is one minor detail.

One of those little legal technicalities.

What is that?

Well, I have a document here, properly drawn,

with the usual provisions...

But why not see for yourself?

Julie has sold you her soul?

Yes.

[SIGHS]

This is dated today.

My claim comes first.

But mine is signed and notarized.

We have equally valid claims.

[CHUCKLES]

I suppose that makes us partners.

Never.

I don't like the idea much myself. No.

Perhaps we should each claim half.

-Half a soul? -Yes.

How can I take half a soul? What can I do with half a soul?

You could have it on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

I will take it Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

Sundays, we will have to alternate.

This is absurd, Roarke.

Souls cannot check in and out of hell like it is some damn motel.

Well, if you want to press your claim,

you'll simply have to make an exception for Julie, won't you?

This is ridiculous. You cannot compromise with the Devil!

I always thought that compromise was your specialty.

No?

Well, then it would seem that the only way around our little impasse

is for us both to release our claims.

Oh.

Oh, no, no.

-[LAUGHS] -Hmm?

I see what you're trying to do. It won't work.

-What? -Oh, no. It won't work.

Why?

You see, she may not be able to go with me,

but she can't go with you either.

[CHUCKLES]

What does that mean, Mr. Roarke?

It means that you will be eternally damned

in limbo between his world and mine.

Oh, please. You can't let him do that to me.

No.

No, I cannot allow that.

You win, Mephistopheles.

Relinquish your interest in Julie,

and you may claim my soul.

Done.

You're mine, Roarke.

You're finally mine.

Oh, no!

It's too late for you to talk him out of it.

I renounce all claims to you.

Roarke.

Will you escort me personally to Hades?

Oh, I have a much more imaginative future in mind for you.

You will continue to run Fantasy Island, but under my direction.

You will pander to all forms of depraved fantasies.

Fantasies of evil, fantasies of lust,

fantasies of corruption.

Your lovely island will become the gateway to hell.

Oh, Roarke,

don't look so gloomy.

You will grow to love it.

I can see a great future ahead for you in my service.

Why, with you at my side,

there is no limit to the depths that we can plumb.

But all this must wait a while.

I simply cannot resist

making you suffer just a little

for all the years of trouble that you've caused me.

Come.

JULIE: Wait!

Excuse me.

What is it now?

Where are you going with my property?

With your property?

I have a document here.

It is properly signed and notarized.

Oh, yes.

Did I forget to mention that I have already sold my soul to her?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

But does that make us partners?

I still own half of you, Roarke.

Not even half.

[BELL TOLLING]

Poor Devil.

Midnight has come and gone.

I'm afraid you failed to claim your half at the appointed time.

It's already past midnight.

You are too late.

The letter of the law.

Remember?

Damn you, Roarke!

That is precisely what I have been trying to avoid.

Damn you!

[THUNDER CRASHES]

I beg your pardon, Roarke.

I concede the battle.

But our eternal war goes on.

You said it yourself, Roarke.

One cannot always win.

But the law of averages are on my side.

We shall do battle again.

My final victory is inevitable.

[GASPS]

You did it.

[SIGHS]

Only because you were willing to trust me unconditionally.

No greater love has any man or woman than that.

[TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYS]

Thank you, Mr. Roarke, Julie.

You're very welcome.

Mr. Roarke, there was a certain girl

in the show. Her name was Ruby.

Do you want to find her again?

No. No, I found what I wanted.

I just thought I might say goodbye to her, that's all.

Every man has a Ziegfeld Girl

he remembers in a dream now and then, Mr. Wagner.

Fortunately, you have one with whom to share your life.

Yes. Yes, I have.

-Thank you, Mr. Roarke. -You're very welcome.

-Goodbye. -Goodbye, Mr. Wagner.

-Goodbye. -Bye.

Ah, yes. There we are.

-Thank you. -Yes.

And may I return these?

-Oh, thank you, Mr. Roarke. -Yes. You're welcome.

Madame.

Was your fantasy satisfactory?

No, not entirely, my child.

There are a few things I can think of

that might have gone differently, shall we say.

Oh, she means she lost a lover

but she kept a friend.

Yes, and maybe someday

I'll figure out if it was all really worth it.

-[BOTH CHUCKLE] -Joanie.

JOANIE: Thanks for everything, Mr. Roarke.

We really had a nice time. The dancing was wonderful.

I'm delighted.

Come on, Ruby. Let's go home.

[SIGHS]

I'm afraid things didn't turn out too well for them.

On the contrary, Julie.

Many persons love the sacrifices for friendship,

so long as they're not called upon to make them.

When they find the strength to do so,

they enrich themselves with grace and dignity.

Isn't it a great day?

Oh, yes, Julie.

The sort of day that makes one glad to be alive.

Have you listened to the birds today?

They sound happy, too.

Even the air smells sweeter.

-I know why. -So do I.

Our uninvited guest is gone,

and the stench of evil has departed Fantasy Island.

Will he come back?

ROARKE: Not for a while.

We gave him quite a beating, you and I.

He won't be in a hurry to take us on again.

Doesn't it worry you about what he said?

You mean about the law of averages being on his side?

It worries me.

Oh, Julie, Julie. The world is not ruled by chance.

The Devil can only win

if we are willing to play his game.

Sorry, boss. We're late.

Watch out. Here comes Kid Corey.

I've had it with that, Tattoo.

ROARKE: Have you, indeed, Mr. Plummer?

What do you mean? Of course. You know I have.

But surely you understand that in reality,

it was you who miraculously escaped the gallows

and disappeared forever

into that mysterious and legendary land

of the all-American West.

In fact, as well as fantasy,

you are Kid Corey.

What about the poster?

Mr. Roarke said that was a picture of you.

Oh, without the slightest doubt.

You, I believe,

actually met the lady who took the photograph?

That's right.

Then I am Kid Corey!

What happened to that old son of a gun

who was the real Kid Corey?

I have it on very reliable authority

that he retrieved the million dollars

from its hiding place at the camp

where you overtook him

and retired to a South American country.

However, it was only a short time

until the justice he deserved finally caught up with him.

That means that I am the real Kid Corey.

Watch out, Brooklyn! Kid Corey rides again.

[LAUGHING] Uh-huh. Yeah.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪♪]