Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

[BELL TOLLING]

The plane! The plane!

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

-Good morning, boss. -Good morning, Tattoo.

Let's go.

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

[BAND PLAYS]

Who are those two, boss?

ROARKE: The gentleman on the left is Mr. Donald Quick.

His father opened a bank in Texas 60 years ago.

And when he died,

his son became one of the wealthiest men in the state.

Wow. And he needs a fantasy?

Well, Mr. Quick is a romantic like his late father.

His fantasy is to do his own glorious deeds

in the style of the knights of ancient legend.

Sounds kind of weird.

You mean like Lancelot and Galahad?

Exactly, Tattoo.

Who's the other guy, boss?

Well, that's Mr. Sam Woolf, Mr. Quick's legal advisor.

He disapproves of this whole venture.

TATTOO: Mr. Quick is gonna need a lawyer for his fantasy?

Who knows.

He could very well find himself beyond the help of a lawyer.

Or anyone else for that matter.

TATTOO: Let me guess, boss.

She wants to be the first lady president.

After all the preparations

we've attended to this past month,

you don't recognize the subject of our planning?

You mean she's, uh...

Miss Helen Hendrix of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Her fantasy is to be for even a few hours

the reigning sex goddess of the world.

Boss...

she sure don't look like the picture we've been sending out.

Gee whiz, boss. I'm sure Miss Hendrix will be surprised.

ROARKE: I sincerely hope it's nothing more than surprise.

This is a very dangerous fantasy.

One that could easily get beyond our control.

My dear guests,

I am Mr. Roarke, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

I can't believe this!

Is this what I'm gonna look like?

Is this really gonna be me?

-It is really you. -Uh, here on Fantasy Island,

it's possible, by certain methods...

to highly concentrate

the physical characteristics inherent in every woman

to intensify her natural beauty and sensuality,

to bring them to the surface.

Well, what are we waiting for? I'm ready. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

First, Miss Hendrix, um...

you must be absolutely certain

you understand the danger of this particular fantasy.

You mean having men stare at me as I walk down the street?

Knowing they desire me as a woman?

You don't have to be a sex symbol for men to do that.

Oh, but I do, Tattoo, because I've never had that experience.

And I never will except here.

Part of the build-up we've given you...

is the kind of reputation

that all sex symbols seem to have.

Therefore, the attitude of men

towards your role as a sex goddess

may be quite different from what you expect.

And you may find yourself in a situation

where you will have only your own resources to fall back upon.

I don't care. I'm willing to take the chance.

Please, Mr. Roarke.

Very well, Miss Hendrix. Tattoo.

The contents of this bottle...

will bring about the transformation you want.

All you have to do is...

[LID POPS]

...drink it.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Satisfactory, Miss Hendrix?

Oh. Yes, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

TATTOO: Excuse me. I can't help staring at you.

SAM: Oh, Mr. Roarke, I have to talk to you

before Quick gets here.

-ROARKE: Have a seat, won't you? -SAM: Oh, thank you.

ROARKE: Now, what can I do for you?

Well, see, Mr. Roarke, Don's cousin, Harold,

wants to have Don declared incompetent,

you see, so that he can take over the business

and the family fortune.

So, I thought that maybe we could just keep all of this

fantasy stuff sort of quiet. You know what I mean?

Of course. Of course.

And I'm sure you'll be glad to stay by his side

to see that nothing gets out of hand, huh?

Oh, well, I'd love to, but I've got to--

[DOOR OPENS]

Mr. Roarke,

I, uh, I'm sorry I'm late.

That's all right, Mr. Quick. Have a seat, won't you?

Thank you. A-- a young lady twisted her ankle.

And I-- I stopped to render first aid.

Don, you shouldn't do that. One touch in the wrong place,

she could sue the shirt off of you.

Sam, you worry too much. Mr. Roarke,

-are we ready to begin? -Certainly. But...

I must first apologize...

for not being able to transport you back

to the age of chivalry as you might have hoped.

Well, I thought that was...

that was the whole idea. I mean,

England under King Arthur and...

France and Charlemagne's time.

Well, the conditions were not quite right.

ROARKE: But I promise you will not be disappointed, Mr. Quick.

Even if we can't provide the authentic scenery...

I have something in there...

that will allow you to retain the spirit of your intentions.

Tattoo.

This way, gentlemen.

The boss said that they belonged to Don Quixote himself.

That's right, Tattoo. The man of La Mancha.

The best-intentioned knight of them all.

Uh, in fact, when you put on this helmet, Mr. Quick,

you will be Don Quixote in your own mind, of course.

Uh, boss, what about Mr. Woolf?

Well, he will be Sancho Panza, naturally.

The helmet has the added power...

of enabling you to distinguish...

very clearly...

between good and evil.

It cannot lie.

Try the helmet on, Mr. Quick.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

SAM: Hey, what's happening? Is this me? Is that you?

-Whoa! -Well...

I don't know how he did it...

but I'm sure we can sue.

Don't be silly.

I am...

I am Don Quixote.

To the fray!

-[HORSE NEIGHS] -Roarke actually did it.

I am Don Quixote!

MAN 1: Now, that's really gorgeous.

I understand why she's the world's sex symbol.

-MAN 2: Thank you. -[CROWD LAUGHING]

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

REPORTER 1: My fellow members of the press,

I present to you Miss Helen Hendrix,

the newest sex symbol of the world.

REPORTER 2: Hello, Miss Hendrix. How are you?

-Why, thank you. -Miss Hendrix,

-are you in love now... -Miss Hendrix, Miss Hendrix,

is it true several motion picture ideas

have been suggested to you?

Well, I'm always open to suggestions.

There she is.

Isn't she everything I told you she'd be, Ron?

RON: I got eyes, man.

ORVILLE: I could just stand here all day and watch her move.

We're the ones making the move, remember?

As a sex symbol--

As a sex symbol, what traits do you admire most

in the men in your life? Is it looks, intelligence,

-or wealth? -Yes, yes, yes.

-[ALL LAUGH] -Come on. Let's get on with it.

Miss Hendrix, would you be leaving the three of us?

-I love it here. -RON: Uh, excuse me, gentlemen.

Hello, Miss Hendrix.

I'm Ron Barker. This is my associate,

-Orville Weems. -Hi.

-Worldwide Publicity. -Oh!

We'd like an exclusive with you.

-Okay. -I'm sure these gentlemen

won't mind. Pardon me. Thank you very much.

-Welcome to the party. -Thank you.

-ORVILLE: Thanks very much. -It's time for the stunt.

What stunt?

[SIGHS] The publicity stunt. The kidnapping.

They-- they were supposed to brief you

with all the details.

We'll get you publicity all over the world.

-Kidnapping? -Shh!

Not so loud. Now look,

your people are paying us a fortune.

So, just play along and we'll do the rest.

Well, I don't know anything about it.

Trust me. Play your part.

Okay.

Back up.

RON: All right, nobody move.

-RON: Just back up. -Roll the camera. Roll it.

Don't try to follow us and no one will get hurt.

REPORTER 1: It's a gag. It's gotta be a gag.

You rolling? Are you rolling?

-REPORTER 1: What a corny stunt! -You got 'em, huh?

They don't expect us to buy that?

REPORTER 2: Of all the dumb tricks!

REPORTER 3: Dumb tricks!

REPORTER 4: What are they trying to get away with?

[RON LAUGHS]

See the look on their faces, huh?

They thought it was the real thing.

Sweetheart, you've got it made. You're gonna make

every headline in every newspaper all over the world.

But Mr. Roarke never said anything about this.

He hired the agency to do the job.

We're doing it. Just relax and enjoy.

Okay, but where are we going?

To a fantastic island about seven miles offshore.

Now, we rented this villa for you. You'll love it.

Don't worry about anything. We know how to take care

of the world's sexiest woman.

Come on.

SAM: Don, I've had enough.

Let's just take the next plane to Acapulco.

Woolf, don't rain on my parade. Where's your sense of adventure?

Okay, but look, at least let's stay away from the people.

If your cousin Harold ever gets wind of this action,

you're gonna land in a padded cell

and he is going to be chairman of the board.

I don't care if cousin Harold winds up with this...

-[MEN LAUGH] -[BIKE ENGINE REVS]

BIKER: Would you look at this chick, eh?

Yeah, come on! Come on! Come on!

-Do you see what I see? -What...

do you see?

Six Moorish knights menacing a fair dame.

-[BIKER WHISTLES] -Uh-huh. I'm sorry I asked.

[CHUCKLES]

To the rescue!

-Hyah! -[HORSE NICKERS]

-[BIKE ENGINE REVS] -[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

BIKER 1: Get him! Get him! Get him!

[LAUGHS]

[SCREAMS]

Don!

BIKER 2: Come on, you guys!

Come on, now. Let's go.

[BIKERS CLAMORING]

BIKER: Move it. Move it.

Get him! Let's get him!

BIKER 2: Let's get him!

SAM: Hey, wait for me!

[♪♪♪♪♪]

RON: Well, here we are.

Welcome, Miss Hendrix.

-STERLING: No problems? -Smooth as glass.

-I told you it would be. -Are we the only ones here?

Well, I can assure you the three of us

could satisfy all of your needs...

Miss Hendrix.

But why don't I just call you Helen?

Something's wrong here.

Will you take me back, please?

Oh, please. It's okay. Try to understand.

RON: Look, fellas, why don't we tell the lady the truth?

You want to know the truth? Huh?

This is a kidnapping.

What do you want?

-Do you want money? -[EXCLAIMS SOFTLY]

Oh, don't you understand? I'm Helen.

No, this is just a fantasy.

Now, you've got it, baby.

You see, this was all my idea to have the number one sex symbol of the world

just for myself, just the two of us.

STERLING: Fortunately for us,

Orville couldn't finance the plan himself.

But I'm sure that Ron and I will prove to your satisfaction,

that we're just as ardent fans of yours as Orville is.

No, you don't understand.

We understand everything about you.

We know exactly who and what you are

-and what you're like. -No.

Uh, the number one sex queen of the decade.

The sex symbol for all men of the world, huh?

What else is there to understand?

-[WHIMPERS] -I'll tell you when.

-HELEN: You creep! -You disappoint me, Helen.

Now, we expect and deserve...

full and enthusiastic cooperation...

if I make myself clear.

-Oh, please don't hurt her. -Shut up!

Now, we're no different than all of your other men.

It's just that we want you exclusively

for a couple of days.

Lock her in her room.

-Oh! -No.

You think about it a little while...

you'll see it our way.

-Come on, sweetheart. -Oh!

Stop it. You're hurting me.

Let go.

You can't do this.

What are you doing?

Stop it. No. Please. No.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

DON: Well, the Moorish knights will bother her no more.

She's safe at the inn.

And I trust she's lost her taste for wandering alone.

Oh, Don. Please.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

MAN: What is this, Halloween?

We'll refresh ourselves at the local tavern

before our-- before our next adventure.

-Hmm? -Oh, come on, Don.

You've done your good deed. Let's get out of here.

DON: It's her.

It's fair Dulcinea of the legend.

A picture of beauty and purity...

and innocence.

If that's innocence,

she should be arrested for false advertising.

[CAR APPROACHING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Look.

[SCREAMS]

Come on. Let's get out of here.

MAN: Hurry up. Help!

She's being carried off by the Black Knight.

-To the rescue! -[HORSE NEIGHS]

SAM: Don, don't get involved. They'll sue us.

Suppose your cousin Harold gets wind of this.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

DON: As I suspected,

the Black Knight is holding the fair Dulcinea in his lair.

She'll be in the dark tower.

Oh, boy.

I hope your cousin Harold never gets you on the stand.

SAM: Wait a minute. Look.

Opportunity is at hand, my friend. Wait here.

My duty is clear.

Clear? We better clear out of here.

Fear not, fair Dulcinea.

Succor is at hand.

Keep away from me.

Dear Dulcinea,

I mean you no harm. I'm warning you.

-Dear Dulcinea-- -Don't you come near me.

Keep your distance. Stop!

Oh, I've heard it all. "I want to be your friend."

I said stay away from me!

-Oh, no! -I've heard some far-out lines,

but you really take the cake.

"Trust me. I won't hurt you"?

Please, Dulcinea.

And I've seen it all, too. Ski masks and little whips.

But that's the kinkiest thing I've ever seen. Armor.

You don't understand. See...

I'm here to rescue you, do battle with your abductor.

[CHUCKLES]

You're gonna fight with Carl? He's the meanest,

coldest man that ever got out of San Quentin.

And if he sees us here alone, he'll kill you.

Not a bad idea, sweetheart.

Who's the clown?

[♪♪♪♪♪]

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

Comfortable?

I can't believe it.

Do you think you're gonna get away with this?

We already have.

You'll go to jail for the rest of your life. All of you!

No way. We set this thing up

very carefully. Covered all of our tracks.

You'll never see us again and no one even knows

what we look like.

You're beautiful.

All that passion and fire that you're so famous for...

it has to be here somewhere.

What kind of a man are you?

The kind you make me, Helen.

You make a career out of...

flaunting your body before men.

Then when we decide to buy what you're selling, you're...

you're, oh, so offended.

[SOBS] No, you don't understand.

This is just a fantasy. I'm not like this.

-[HELEN EXCLAIMS] -[STERLING MOANS]

[BOTH GROAN]

Oh, now I understand.

I didn't know you liked it that way.

We're two of a kind after all, Helen.

[WHIMPERS] No!

No.

Not just yet.

We'll play our little game later.

I'll send the substitutes in to warm you up.

The afternoon's young.

I'll come back about seven

to repay your...

little mark.

You save your strength for me, huh?

[SOBS]

You're gonna need it.

[CRIES]

ROARKE: The attitude of men towards your role

as a sex goddess...

may be quite different from what you expect.

And you may find yourself in a situation

where you have only your own resources...

to fall back upon.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Well, you wanted to be a star.

Let's show 'em what a girl from South Dakota can do.

They'll be cutting each other's throats

before I'm through with them.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Well, I don't know what your problem is, man, but, uh,

I'm not buying any of this crazy Quixote jazz.

I'm not taking any chances with a nut like you either.

Now, against the wall over there.

You're not gonna really kill him?

Come on, baby. There's a million bucks in this deal.

You think I'm gonna blow it for a flake?

Come on. Murder wasn't part of the deal!

[DON GROANS]

Are you okay?

Who is he?

Don Quick.

But he's got this thing about being Don Quixote.

So, what's your story?

I'm Sancho Panza.

Yeah, but it's for real with him.

Then he really was trying to save me?

Mm. Yeah.

Mr. Quick, please wake up. Be okay. Come on, Mr. Quick.

Dulcinea.

[GROANS]

We've got to get him out of here before Carl comes to.

Come on.

-Great idea. -Come on.

Come on, Don.

-Here we go. -Okay.

SAM: Get the sword and helmet.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hi. I was hoping it was you.

Nobody's gonna bother us now, sweetheart.

What makes you think I'd want that?

[SIGHS]

Come on now. What kind of a game are you playing?

There's no game.

-There isn't? -Mm-mm.

It's just you and me, baby.

-One on one. -Uh-huh.

It's what you wanted, wasn't it?

-Ah... -Mm?

What's the matter?

You afraid your big bad friend,

Mr. Sterling, is gonna break the door in on us?

What makes you think I'm afraid of Sterling?

'Cause he's a mean dude.

He's in charge. Anybody can see that.

Mm-hm.

He likes to hurt people, you know.

Why don't you slow down?

Well, why don't you take me out of here and we'll go

any place you want to go.

[GASPS]

Did he put you up to this? Did he?

Come on, I want to know.

Why would he do that?

I work for--

It's his way of testing me.

It's no go, baby. Forget it.

Ooh. You've got a big problem.

Sorry I can't help you.

You tell the others about this and I'll...

You'll do what?

[GROANS]

[CHUCKLES]

Two down, one to go.

I'm really starting to hate you.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

DON: I've been described as a muddle-headed fool with...

frequent lucent intervals, but...

I don't care what they say. I don't care.

Chivalry isn't dead so long as...

so, long as one man believes in it.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

[TWIG SNAPS]

Oh...

Mr-- Mr. Roarke, I'm sorry. I...

I didn't know it was you.

Your fantasy going well, I trust, Mr. Quick?

-Even better than expected. -Oh, I'm delighted.

Dulcinea is...

-is wonderful. -Oh.

Has she told you that the so-called abduction...

is in fact a conspiracy between Carl

and herself to extort money from her father?

That's impossible. Dulcinea is pure and innocent.

Perhaps you are overlooking something, Mr. Quick.

There are those traits latent in all of us...

which are sometimes powerful enough

to override the conscience.

But, fortunately,

we also possess an even more powerful quality.

I'm talking of love, Mr. Quick.

Is Dulcie in love with Carl?

She believes herself to be.

However, I now suspect a change

in the direction of her affection.

Well, if only that could be in my direction, Mr. Roarke.

You realize, of course that if Carl even suspects

such a thing is true,

he will most certainly try to kill you both.

For that reason, Mr. Quick,

I am making you a very rare offer.

The opportunity to withdraw from your fantasy

before it's too late.

Oh.

No, it's unthinkable. I must--

I must stay and protect Dulcinea.

A most commendable decision, Mr. Quick.

Therefore, it pains me to have to inform you

that a cablegram came this afternoon

from your cousin Harold's lawyers.

It seems that your activities on Fantasy Island...

have been reported back to him.

-Texas windmills, Mr. Roarke. -I'm afraid so, Mr. Quick.

-What do they want? -They have a very strong case.

If you do not return home at once,

you will be declared incompetent.

[SIGHS]

You said the helmet does not lie?

Where good and evil are concerned...

it is infallible.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

I knew it.

Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Roarke, but...

everything I want is-- is right here.

Here...

Mr. Roarke?

Mr-- Mr. Roarke?

Roarke.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

It's already been one hour.

Well, you know what a talker Ron is.

That's not very funny, Mr. Gardner.

Well, Miss Hendrix was my idea, you know?

RON: Gentlemen.

-[RON CHUCKLES] -To Miss Hendrix.

I'll drink to that.

What about me?

Well, I made an appointment for seven, Orville.

You better hurry. You haven't got all that long.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Hello, Miss Hendrix.

Hello.

If you only knew how long I've been standing out there.

You know, I wanted to be the first one with you,

but things just didn't work out that way.

Well, you're here now.

[CHUCKLES]

[ORVILLE SIGHS]

You know...

I've been in love with you ever since

the first time I saw your photograph.

I bet you didn't know that.

Am I supposed to believe that?

Oh, sure. It's-- it's the truth. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

You're just like all the rest.

Oh, no, I'm not. I...

You're the only one. I...

I always think about you.

Then why do you want to share me

with all the rest of 'em?

Well, I don't. It's just...

It's the way things worked out. You see, my...

My friend, Ron,

I knew he worked for this rich man, and he was...

Oh.

Things could be better with us, couldn't they?

You're so kind and gentle.

You do love me.

-Oh, yes. -Oh.

[MOANS] No, we've gotta be alone.

Well, we-- we are alone.

[MOANS] No. No, we're not.

They're gonna come back. It's just to tease you.

They're gonna come back and lock you out of the room.

They told me.

What are you talking about?

You-- you were my idea.

Well, then stand up for yourself.

We could go away together, just the two of us,

just the way you want.

But we have to go now.

But-- but you were my idea and...

Now.

Oh, I love you.

Come on.

I'll get you out of here.

-What was that? -I don't know.

Check her room, quick.

She's gone. They're both gone.

The boat.

It's the only way off the island.

ORVILLE: I'll take care of you.

Hurry.

[BOTH GROAN]

Come on. We gotta get to the boat.

[GROANS] I can't-- I can't, I think I broke my ankle.

Oh! Let go of me!

-Where are you going? -Nowhere. Nowhere.

-You said you loved me. -[PANTS]

-You tricked me, huh? -No!

-No! -You did.

You said you loved me, and then you tricked me.

-No. [SCREAMS] -I love you.

You said you loved me, but you tricked me.

[CRIES, SCREAMS]

[WHIMPERS]

What are you...

a witch?

[GASPS] No!

Did you really think you'd get away?

-It's not her. -What are you talking about,

-it's not her? Don't be a fool! -[HELEN WHIMPERS]

But the dress. I mean...

-how? -ROARKE: Drop your weapon.

Mr. Roarke!

Mr. Roarke! [SOBS]

ROARKE: I regret that things turned out so badly.

But I can only create the fantasy that you want.

And this is what can happen when someone reaches

too desperately for fantasy.

Because, you see...

even fantasy must have a touch of reality.

I think I understand.

May I add...

that you are a most resourceful

and courageous young woman, Miss Hendrix?

[♪♪♪♪♪]

SAM: If Carl finds us, we're gonna get killed.

I'm going outside and keep an eye open.

Why do you call me Dulcinea?

Dulcinea was the...

the heroine in the...

in the legend of-- of Don Quixote's recording

by the writer...

Cervantes.

What's your real name?

It's Dulcie Merchant.

-My father-- -Marcus Merchant.

You know him?

He does business with several of my banks. He's...

he's worth a couple of dollars.

Twenty million.

Tell me about you.

As they say...

what you see is what you get.

In the world of business...

to do what is right and just is not always popular.

There are people who believe I am an idiot.

You're not. I am.

I did something I knew was wrong.

You're kind and you're gentle.

And you see nothing but good in people.

Better than that, you bring the good out in them.

I know.

Do I detect a...

a change in the direction of your...

affection?

You most decidedly do.

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Don, he's out there with a rifle.

To be sure...

put this on.

It will show you things as-- as they truly are.

[CHUCKLES]

No, don't look at me, look at Carl.

Oh, I don't need this to see the way things truly are.

The way things truly are is we're gonna get killed.

Carl!

Let them go. Please don't hurt them.

I'll do anything you say.

[HORSE NEIGHS]

SAM: Don. Don. Your lance. Long live Don Quixote.

-[HORSE NICKERS] -[ENGINE REVS]

-Hyah! -[NEIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Say, being a hero wasn't so bad after all.

I say...

Yeah.

[DONKEY BRAYS]

[♪♪♪♪♪]

Well, Miss Hendrix, I only wish your visit

could have been more pleasant for you.

Well, sometimes the most bitter medicine

is the best for what ails you, Mr. Roarke.

Medicine? Are you sick?

[CHUCKLES] Not anymore, Tattoo.

Miss Hendrix means that there is much more

to truly being a woman than merely that which, uh...

meets the eye.

Oh.

What will happen to my admirers?

The island on which they rented the villa

belongs to a foreign government.

They have their own methods of dealing with such admirers.

I suggest you try not to think any more about it, Miss Hendrix.

Now that I can handle. Bye-bye.

-Goodbye, Miss Hendrix. -Goodbye.

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

You'll be happy to know, Mr. Quick,

that Carl has been apprehended by the Fantasy Island Police,

and all the money was recovered intact.

Well, the real joy is Dulcie, Mr. Roarke.

As you predicted, a change in the direction

-of her affection. -This time for good.

And I do mean good.

We can only hope now for an equally successful solution

to your legal problems.

Oh, well, when Marcus Merchant gives evidence

that Don helped to save his daughter's life

and his million dollars, I would say that the only one

that's going to be declared incompetent is cousin Harold.

-Thank you, Mr. Roarke. -Goodbye, Mr. Quick.

-Goodbye. -Miss Merchant.

-Bye-bye. -Mr. Woolf.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]