Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[RINGING]

The plane! The plane!

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

[BANJO PLAYING JANGLY TUNE]

[DRUM & KAZOO PLAYING TUNE]

Tattoo!

Hi, boss. What do you think?

I think

that it is exceedingly noisy around here.

That's what I think.

Just what may I ask is going on?

I'm running for island lord mayor's office. Here.

Tattoo, heh, not that it really matters,

but it so happens that I have held the title

of honorary lord mayor

since the office was first established.

I know, boss.

But you remember how many times you say

that you were tired of honorary offices?

And how you wish somebody run against you? Huh?

Oh.

Yes, I did say that, didn't I?

Well, if you are determined to run against me,

I am, uh... delighted, of course.

Oh, boss, I knew you'll see it that way.

May the best man win.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Shall we greet our guests?

[MAN RESUMES PLAYING TUNE]

[♪♪♪]

ROARKE: Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

[PLAYING FOLK TUNE]

ROARKE: Mr. Jack Summers and his daughter Terry.

TATTOO: Terry Summers.

The name sounds familiar.

It should, Tattoo.

Not long ago, Miss Summers was one of the top swimmers

in the United States,

destined to become an Olympic gold medal winner.

Ain't she the girl who had that terrible car accident

and the doctors say she was lucky to survive?

They also maintained,

as have many physicians since then,

that the paralysis to her legs is irreversible.

That's why they have come here.

Their fantasy is for her to be cured.

Cured? But, boss, can we really do that?

Boss, who is that man?

ROARKE: Mr. Fred Forbush.

With him is his wife Shirley

and their two children, Greg and Kathy.

The latter three think they are here for a vacation.

TATTOO: Mr. Forbush looks nervous enough to need a very long vacation.

Mr. Forbush is not only nervous, Tattoo,

he is desperate.

Why is that?

Because of his uniquely bizarre fantasy.

You see, Mr. Forbush, who lives in New Haven, Connecticut,

fervently desires to provide his wife and two children

with financial security.

What's so bizarre about that?

In order to provide them with financial security,

Mr. Forbush plans to have himself murdered.

Murder?

[♪♪♪]

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Summers, Tattoo tells me you've been waiting some time.

Something we can do to make you more comfortable?

No, thank you. The doctor's been examining her for three hours.

It's never been that long before.

Dr. Frantz prides herself on being very thorough.

Well, if that lady can give Terry back her legs,

I'll be the most satisfied customer you've ever had.

And if she cannot?

Well... Okay, what's the word?

Well, jury is still out, I'm afraid.

Can't you tell us something?

I wanna wait until I have all the test results

before drawing any conclusions.

Well, I understand that, but-- It's no use, Dad.

I've tried every trick in the book.

Even promised her one of those gold medals I'm gonna win.

I'll get back to you just as soon as I can,

and that's a promise.

Doctor? Yes.

If you find you can help me, I just want you to know

I'm willing to take whatever chances are necessary.

I'll keep that in mind, Terry. Bye-bye.

Goodbye, doctor.

Hey, hon.

How do you feel about some boating?

I got a nice little cruiser lined up.

All right.

You haven't forgotten

about our arrangement, have you, Miss Summers?

Oh, no. No, of course not.

What arrangement?

Your daughter has graciously consented

to teach a class in water ballet

to the children of some of our guests.

Water ballet?

It's no big deal, Dad.

Mr. Roarke says the children are very good swimmers.

I'll just be there to give them a few pointers, that's all.

Okay. Long as you promise not to overdo it.

Don't worry. Till I get out of this contraption,

there's no way. What time would you like me at the pool?

Uh, would, um, after lunch be convenient?

See you then.

Very well.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[LAUGHING]

Ooh. Oh, Fred. Fred, come on in.

In a minute.

Nice family.

Oh, yes, indeed.

Mr. Forbush, I'm afraid you must explain your present predicament

before I can make any promises about your fantasy.

Well, there's not really very much to tell.

Uh, everything was going fine.

I was clearing about $35,000 a year,

spending 40, like everybody else.

And then, uh, my business just went sour.

Next week, it'll be bankruptcy.

I am amazed you've been able to keep all this secret

from your family, Mr. Forbush.

Oh, well, it hasn't been easy.

I'm ashamed to say this, but I even attempted suicide.

No.

By hanging.

But I'm such a loser, the rope broke.

That's when I came up with the idea

of having myself knocked off.

You see, alive, I'm worth zilch.

But dead, half a million dollars.

Half million dollars?

Mr. Forbush has a company-paid

double indemnity insurance policy, Tattoo.

Oh, uh, Mr. Roarke,

when will I get to meet my, uh, hit man?

Now, are you certain there is nothing I can do

to dissuade you?

Yes, Mr. Roarke, I've made up my mind.

Well, if you insist.

Uh, meet me back here in one hour.

Until then. Tattoo.

[♪♪♪]

ROARKE: Uh, perhaps you should know that Mr. Johnny Detroit

is one of the highest-paid assassins in the world.

Classy place. Yes, yes.

In his circles, Mr. Detroit is considered

a very classy gentleman indeed.

Oh, yes.

Shall we find him?

ROARKE: Mr. Detroit.

May I introduce your, uh, client, Mr. Fred Forbush.

How do you do?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[GROANS]

Mr. Forbush, although I admire your motives very much,

I certainly question your judgment.

Well, goodbye, Mr. Forbush.

[FIGHTERS GRUNTING]

Goodbye.

[GRUNTS]

I'm not quite sure how much Mr. Roarke told you, but...

He said you wanted a quick, clean, neat job.

That's the only kind I deliver.

Well, did Mr. Roarke mention price?

My usual fee is 20,000 bucks, cash.

But I'll do it for 10.

Ten? I was thinking more like five.

[GUNSHOTS]

I wouldn't break your legs for five.

I guess when you're in debt as far as I am, heh,

another 5000 doesn't matter.

But you do guarantee

that it will be fast and unexpected?

What I mean is I've got a very low threshold for pain.

What kind of business you in, Forbush?

Underwear. I manufacture men's underwear.

Do I tell you how to make men's drawers?

No.

[RAPID GUNFIRE]

Well, Mr. Forbush, are we agreed?

[SIGHS]

E pluribus unum.

Yeah, whatever.

Well, I'll, uh... I'll see you later.

No, you won't.

Oh, uh, yeah.

You're right. I forgot.

Look, uh, Mr. Detroit,

uh, I have the courage to go through with this now.

What I mean is, if I should change my mind later, you, uh...

Well, you just have to continue with this hit.

Do you understand?

You just try and stop me.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Dad...

they're crippled.

[ROARKE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Boss.

Excuse me.

Mr. Roarke, you didn't say anything

about them being...

like this.

Learning to do water ballet isn't easy.

Even if you're, well, normal.

These children are prepared to work very hard,

I assure you, Miss Summers.

Look, Mr. Roarke, I understand what you're trying to do,

but you might have let us know. Hey, Mr. Roarke.

Is this Terry? Yes.

Boy, it's about time.

We've been waiting almost an hour.

More like 10 minutes.

[SCOFFS]

Hi. My name's Janet.

Bigmouth here is Billy.

Hi. Come on.

We'll introduce you to the other kids.

Terry?

It'll be fine.

All right. Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

Hi. My name is Terry.

ALL: Hi, Terry.

[OVERLAPPING EXCITED GREETINGS]

BOY: When are you gonna teach us how to swim?

[♪♪♪]

What is the meaning of this?

Oh, hi, boss. How do you like my campaign posters?

I don't like them or anything else

that clutters up my private study.

Boss, you're not unhappy

because I'm running against you, are you?

Not at all, Tattoo.

Not at all.

I will admit, however, that some people consider

my various terms in office were without parallel,

and I am somewhat at a loss to understand why,

for the first time, I am being challenged at the polls.

Not that it really matters.

Boss, the job carries power.

That's why I want it. Really?

There is thousands of crazy groupies,

power-loving chicks

who will go ape over a political boss.

Tattoo, I hereby order you to gather up all this...

All this campaign literature

and get it out of my private office immediately.

Do you understand?

Boss, I'm sorry. I cannot do that.

You're gonna have to talk to my campaign manager.

Really? And who may I ask might that be?

Him.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

[GIBBERING]

TERRY: Okay, here we go.

One right after the other.

Keep it smooth. No splashing.

Be sure to keep your eyes open. Keep your head up.

Keep going. Keep it a smooth flow.

That's good. Keep it tight. One right after the other.

Keep it moving. Whatever you do, just keep it moving.

That's right. Okay, Melanie, roll over and breathe.

Come on, take a breath. That's good. Now, roll over.

Keep moving. Here we go.

Kick strong.

Okay. Take a breath.

That's good. Okay, keep your head up.

That's good.

Okay.

Let's line up and try it again.

[ALL GRUMBLING]

Come on, you sound like a bunch of wounded rhinos or something.

Get the lead out.

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

Hi.

I thought I saw somebody hiding over here.

What are you doing?

FRED: Shirley, did you hear what I said?

Yes, Fred.

In case some sort of catastrophe occurs

and you happen to get killed, you wanna have a simple funeral.

Not too simple.

But nothing ostentatious.

I mean, if my friends wanna mourn my passing,

I don't think we should hold them down too far.

Oh, Fred, we're on vacation.

This canoe ride was supposed to be a romantic interlude.

Why do we have to talk about your funeral?

It never hurts to be prepared.

[SIGHS]

Okay.

Okay, so you have the simple funeral

with a minimum of ostentation.

Which reminds me,

after I pass from the picture, so to speak,

I want you to get remarried.

Oh, Fred.

For the sake of the children, Shirley.

They're good children,

but every child needs a firm hand.

So promise me, Shirley. Promise me you will remarry.

[GUNSHOT]

Oh! Somebody's shooting at us. Let me get--

Aah! Put-- Oh, put your head down!

What are you doing?

I'm trying to save your life!

While you're saving my life, you're drowning me.

Fred!

I'm sorry.

Oh!

He missed? I always said it could happen.

But not to me.

Well, my friend, it's a matter of principle now.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

BOY: I won. Come on.

[TOY TRAIN HORN BLOWING]

I won.

Come on.

[CHATTERING CONTINUES]

Hi.

Bobby, isn't it?

Mind if I join you?

Didn't think you would.

What are you reading about?

Pete Rose, huh?

Is he your favorite baseball player?

He sure is mine.

[SIGHS]

You know, um,

I did some checking up on you today.

And I found out we have a lot of things in common.

First off, um, we're both Geminis.

Mm, not much into astrology, huh?

Me either.

Um, bet you one thing you don't know

is that I'm at least as big a sports fan as you.

Maybe even bigger.

Leave me alone.

He speaks.

For a minute there, I was beginning to wonder.

I can talk.

It just so happens I don't want to.

Go away.

Tell me, Bobby, you naturally this nice

or do you have to work at it?

You know, when you're hurting,

sometimes it helps to talk to someone.

You wouldn't understand.

What makes you think that?

You just wouldn't.

Well, if you think I wouldn't understand

how it is to play third base on a Little League team,

you're right.

But if you think I wouldn't understand

how it is to have the rug pulled out from under me,

you're wrong.

I wasn't just any third baseman, you know.

Coach said I was gonna make

the all-star team next year for sure.

It's not fair. It's just not fair.

I know.

These other kids here,

they think I'm some kind of weirdo

because I don't like to do the things they like to do.

They don't think you're a weirdo.

It's just that some of them, most of them,

have always been the way they are.

So it's hard for them to understand

what you're going through.

Maybe. But that doesn't change things.

No. But it shouldn't stop you

from trying to be the best you can be either.

[SIGHS]

Anyway...

I found out something else about you today.

You used to be one heck of a good swimmer.

We need you, Bobby. How about it?

Are you gonna be in the pool too?

No.

Uh, at least I don't think so.

How come? I heard you were short a couple of people.

Oh. Well, um, a coach's job is to coach.

Well, if I was actually in the water with you guys,

I wouldn't be able to see everything.

Anyway, what about later on?

Will you join the others?

I'll think about it.

Good enough.

Fred. Fred, why would anybody be shooting at us?

Where did you get a crazy idea like that?

You said they were shooting at us.

Oh, well, don't pay any attention to me.

I've been watching too much TV. Oh!

Well, I still think you should complain to Mr. Roarke.

What kind of an island is he running here anyway?

Okay, honey, I'll speak to Mr. Roarke.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, I'll get it.

Hi. Telegram for Mr. Forbush.

SHIRLEY: Why, thank you.

TATTOO: I'll wait in case you have an answer.

Come in.

Hi, Tattoo. Hi.

Fred!

Fred, do you know a Mr. Henry Wilbanks?

Henry Wilbanks?

Are you kidding?

He is merely the head buyer

for the JB Robbins department store chain.

I've been trying to see him for months.

Well, according to this telegram,

you're about to.

"JB Robbins company...

long-term contract."

All of the underwear that I can supply.

Oh-ho, wow! Wowee!

[SHIRLEY LAUGHS]

Oh, honey!

This means I'm back in business!

I never knew you were out of business.

Oh, well, no, I'm...

What I mean is, JB Robbins is going to buy

all of the underwear that I can turn out.

Oh, baby, we are rich. Oh!

Oh, Fred. Ha-ha-ha!

Oh, honey! This is the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Do you wish to send a reply?

Oh. Oh, no. Thanks, Tattoo.

I think that I would rather

personally call Mr. Wilbanks on the phone.

Is there, uh, somebody you should talk to first?

Like who?

Like, uh, you know,

the city where, uh...

Where they make cars?

Oh, uh, Detroit.

Detroit.

Oh, my God, Johnny Detroit.

Oh, Tattoo, what am I gonna do?

One more time. Go around, make your circle.

Keep your heads up, keep your tummies up.

That's good. Keep it moving.

Hey, Terry, what are we waiting for?

Just a few more minutes now.

[CHILDREN CLAMORING]

If you're waiting for Bobby, you can forget it.

Okay, I guess we can get started now.

BOY: Okay, here we go.

BOBBY: Hey, Terry.

TERRY: Bobby!

Hi. TERRY: Wow. Heh.

Sorry I'm late. Getting into these trunks

was a little harder than I thought.

I'll bet. I'm glad you decided to come.

Why don't you get in the water? Oh, okay.

Robin, could you give him a hand?

ROBIN: Sure.

Okay. Hi, Melanie.

ROBIN: Come on.

Okay, let's roll up here.

Hope I can get in the water.

Sure you can.

Robin, I'll help you here. Okay.

That's good. Feet down, there you go.

There you go. It's gonna be easy.

Okay, let's see some good swimming.

Put your hands on the inside.

There you go. I got it.

Let's see some good swimming.

You ready, Melanie? Let's go.

Okay.

That's real good. ROBIN: Let's go.

Warm up a little bit.

Good swimming. Good swimming.

You're looking good.

[♪♪♪]

Yes, that will do very nicely. Thank you.

[DOOR OPENS]

Tattoo!

It's Mr. Forbush, boss.

What?

Yes, Mr. Roarke. It's me.

Uh, but why the, uh, disguise?

Because I'm trying to hide from Johnny Detroit.

Well, I seem to be confused about something.

You see, I was under the impression

that you wanted Mr. Detroit to dispatch you.

Yes, but-- Well, just read that.

Oh, congratulations, Mr. Forbush.

A contract like this

could make you a very wealthy man.

Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Roarke.

But I came here to discuss the other contract.

The one with Johnny Detroit.

Oh. That's right.

Well, now that you have so much reason to live,

why don't you merely contact Mr. Detroit

and cancel the contract?

Because he won't let me.

You see, I made him promise that he would dispatch me

no matter what I said.

Oh. Then you do have a problem, don't you?

Oh, yes, Mr. Roarke. Please help me.

Make Johnny Detroit leave me alone.

Yes.

Well, seeing as you do find yourself in such a dilemma,

perhaps there is something I could try.

Like what, boss?

No guarantees, you understand?

But I will speak to Mr. Detroit about the matter.

Unofficially, of course.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Roarke. Thank you.

Meantime, there is something

I'd like to point out, Mr. Forbush.

What's that? Your lipstick. It's smeared.

Oh.

Hm?

[♪♪♪]

Okay. Everybody out of the pool.

Come on. Lesson's over.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

JACK: See you later.

Bye-bye. You did really good. Bye-bye.

Bye.

So long. See you soon.

Hi, Dr. Frantz. Hi, Mr. Roarke.

You know, these kids are terrific.

They're actually learning to do water ballet.

Do you think they've learned enough

to perform for our guests tomorrow?

Perform?

Why, sure. Just give them to me in the morning

so I can rehearse with them. Certainly.

You have something to report, doctor.

Yes, I do.

I'm afraid the news isn't good, Terry.

My examination, along with the tests,

confirm that the damage to your spinal cord

is irreparable.

Are you sure? Is there any chance that...?

I'm sorry. If I may, I would like for both of you

to see the results so that you could better understand the--

We've heard it all before, doctor.

Honey, this is not the end of the line.

We'll find someone else.

Don't worry, darling. DR. FRANTZ: Mr. Summers--

Mr. Roarke, is there space on tomorrow's plane?

Yes, but I hope you'll delay your departure,

at least until Miss Summers has finished her work

with the children. That's out of the question.

I believe that decision is your daughter's, Mr. Summers.

Not yours.

Terry?

I wanna go home.

You've got it, hon.

Excuse us.

[♪♪♪]

Fred, what's wrong?

Nothing's wrong, honey. I'm fine.

Don't you lie to me, Fred Forbush.

I'm not lying. Oh, yes, you are.

Your ears turn red

and your nose starts to twitch when you fib.

Now, out with it.

Okay.

I happen to have a slight problem.

It seems that I'm about to be killed.

Why, killed? Killed?

Daddy, are you kidding?

Why would anybody wanna kill you?

Well, it's a very long story, Greg.

I'll try to make it very brief.

When the bottom fell out of my underwear business,

I hired a hit man...

to kill me.

So as that you three could then cash in

my double indemnity policy and live happily ever after.

Oh, Fred.

You wanted to sacrifice your life for me and the children?

Oh, Dad.

We don't want you to die.

We couldn't live happily ever after without you.

Yeah, but don't you see that you three would have needed

that insurance money to get along?

Otherwise, you'd have to give up the private school, honey,

and your piano lessons.

And that soccer.

And swimming.

And what about your clubs?

You would have had to go to work.

Fred, you seem to have forgotten one very important item.

That we love you.

I mean, that we loved you

even when you were a $75-a-week tie salesman.

I mean, so your business fell apart, big deal.

Oh, Fred.

Fred, we love you.

We wouldn't even care about all the schools and stuff

if you were gone. Oh...

But even if we did care,

it wouldn't make a difference anyway.

What do you mean?

Well, Barnaby Jones always catches people

who cheat on their insurance companies.

Oh, Greg. Ha-ha!

You know, he's right?

It would've all been for nothing.

Gosh, I don't know what to say. I...

I guess that's the dumbest idea I ever had.

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, Fred.

Fred.

Does Mr. Roarke know about this?

Well, he introduced me to the hit man.

Oh, he did?

Well, in that case,

I am going to have a very long talk with Mr. Roarke.

Never trust a man in a white suit, children.

SHIRLEY: Since you are the owner

and proprietor of this island, Mr. Roarke,

my children and I will hold you fully responsible

for any injury that accrues to my husband.

With all due respect, Mrs. Forbush,

I am only the middleman, so to speak.

Your husband's fantasy was to have himself--

Ahem, done away with.

Well, he's changed his mind.

Oh, of that I am well aware.

And I tried talking to Mr. Detroit,

but unfortunately he feels his failure

embarrassed him in front of his ladies

and his pride is now at stake.

Understandable... Though regrettable.

Oh, but surely there's something you can do about it.

Yes.

Yes, perhaps there is something.

Trust me, Mrs. Forbush.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

[TOY TRAIN HORN BLOWING]

Uh, excuse me.

Excuse me. Could I talk to you guys a sec?

Um, I just wanted to tell you all

that I have to leave tomorrow morning.

[ALL GROANING]

Darn it!

Some important problems have come up at home and...

Well, I just have to go, that's all.

So Helen and Joanne and Robin

will help you through the final rehearsal tomorrow morning.

I'm sure you'll all just do great.

Thanks for being our teacher, Terry.

[♪♪♪]

You're welcome, Janet.

Good luck tomorrow. Bye-bye.

GIRL 1: Bye, Terry. BOY 1: Bye.

GIRL 2: Bye. GIRL 3: Thank you.

GIRL 4: Bye. BOY 2: Bye, Terry.

BOY 3: Bye. GIRL 5: Thank you.

Bobby, I'm sorry.

You lied. You're not going home

because you have troubles back there.

You're leaving because of what the doctor told you.

You can't stand to be like one of us.

That's why you wouldn't get in the swimming pool.

Isn't it? Isn't it?

Let me try to explain.

Don't bother.

Bobby, please.

Have a nice trip back.

You bet I will.

Phony. You phony!

[PHONE RINGING]

[♪♪♪]

Hello.

Hello?

[DIAL TONE OVER LINE]

JACK: Terry, honey?

Hey, the plane takes off in less than an hour.

Terry?

TERRY: Come on in, Dad.

Hey, what's this?

I've got some unfinished business with those kids.

Listen, honey, you know the doctor in New York,

the one with the waiting list?

I talked to him on the phone this morning.

He said if we can get there by tonight, he'll see you.

You're not gonna pass that up.

I'm not seeing any more doctors.

Well, listen, I know you're disappointed

about Dr. Frantz. So am I.

But just because she can't help you

doesn't mean somebody else can't.

Dad, we've both known the reality

almost from the very beginning.

But we both refuse to face it.

What reality?

There's nobody out there that can help me.

Now, Terry, don't say that.

[SIGHS]

I can't keep living

for what might be.

I've gotta start dealing with my life as it is.

So you're giving up, is that it?

Yes. Giving up the pain of holding on to dreams

that just aren't gonna come true.

Dreams like Olympic gold medals.

And playing third base on a Little League all-star team.

I can't believe that you're talking like this.

Me either.

But I've gotta tell you, it feels really good.

I'm going to go now.

Will come with me?

I'm sorry, Terry, I can't.

[♪♪♪]

WOMAN: Boys and girls, everybody up on the side.

We're gonna go over it one more time, legs in a star.

Hey, everybody, look. It's Terry.

BOY: Hi, Terry. CHILDREN: Hi, Terry.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]

We thought you were leaving, Terry.

What happened?

Well, I thought you guys could use a hand.

[SIGHS]

I've had a lot of time to think.

I hardly slept a wink.

The fact of the matter is I've been living

in some kind of a dream world.

Postponing certain things, waiting for a miracle to happen.

Well, it didn't happen.

It's not going to happen.

And I'm not gonna wait on it anymore.

Time to shape up or ship out, I guess.

So, what I'm trying to say is...

What I mean is... I'm one of you now.

[CHILDREN CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

TERRY: So you all wanna help me in the water?

[♪♪♪]

[LOCK CLICKS]

JOHNNY: Surprise.

Hi, Johnny.

Hold it.

You can't shoot me down like this.

Not in cold blood.

Quick, clean and neat.

That's what you ordered,

and that's what you get, pal.

No, please.

I don't wanna die.

Please. No.

I'll give you anything.

[DOOR OPENS]

Wilbur!

You put that gun down this very instant.

Do you hear me?

Just what do you think you're doing

playing with real firearms like that?

Hasn't Mumsy always taught you that they're dangerous?

You could go to jail for this.

But, Mumsy, it's only loaded with blanks.

Don't interrupt!

You've been a very naughty boy, Wilbur,

sneaking out of the house like you did.

You even left Mr. Henry one Sunday school teacher short

when you failed to show up. And another thing--

Uh, Mrs. Wilson, I hate to interrupt,

but I don't think you should be quite so harsh on your son.

Oh, no? And why not?

Well, you see, Wilbur is normally

a very nice, quiet and law-abiding citizen.

But he came to me for the fulfilling

of a fantasy which I provided.

For just one weekend, Wilbur, alias Johnny Detroit,

wanted to be a beady-eyed hit man.

What kind of a stupid fantasy is that, Wilbur?

You never wanted to kill anybody in your life.

Have you?

Then-- Then he's not going to--?

I mean, I can live?

You mean I can accept that new underwear contract?

Well, Johnny? Um, Wilbur.

Aw, shoot. Just when I was starting to enjoy myself.

You never let me have any fun, Mumsy.

I'll give you fun. I'll give you fun.

Come on, Wilbur. I'll give you fun. I'll give you fun.

Get going. Get going. Get going!

[LAUGHS]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention? Thank you.

We are now privileged to present for your enjoyment

a very special water ballet

performed by some very special people.

I am certain you will give them a warm welcome.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Okay, everybody, here we go.

[♪♪♪]

That's good. You're doing good.

Okay, keep your heads up.

Okay, spread. Spread your legs.

Spread out.

Good. Form your star.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Okay. Bring your legs together.

Together now.

Terry. Your father, see?

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Roarke, I wanna thank you for showing me

that my family genuinely loves me

and not my checkbook.

Oh. Speaking of money. Oh.

It's the $10,000 you paid Johnny Detroit.

Mumsy made him give it back.

Oh! Oh. Mr. Roarke, tell me,

did Johnny Detroit-- Uh, Wilbur--

really have blank cartridges in that gun?

But of course.

You loaded the gun yourself, right, boss?

Tattoo, I thought you...?

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Forbush, have a pleasant journey back.

Heh. Yes.

Goodbye. Goodbye, children. Goodbye.

TATTOO: Goodbye. Bye, Tattoo.

[MOUTHING WORDS]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

TERRY: Mr. Roarke, Tattoo.

Once again, Miss Summers, thank you.

Your ballet was magnificent.

The children will be forever grateful to you.

Oh, but not half as grateful as we are to them. And to you.

You know, Mr. Roarke, you really did cure me.

Really?

Of a misconception.

You see, before we came here, I thought that to be important

I had to be something different than I really am.

I don't feel that way anymore.

There may not be any Olympic gold for us,

but we've found something much more valuable.

Goodbye, Mr. Roarke. Goodbye, Mr. Summers.

Tattoo. Goodbye.

Okay, princess. Here we go.

Hey-hey! TERRY [EXCITEDLY]: Aah!

Oh, by the way, Tattoo.

What do you think of the election results?

Who won?

Well, uh, with all due modesty,

I was reelected again

for another term as island lord mayor.

Almost unanimously.

How many votes did I get?

Well, all the precincts haven't been heard from yet.

But how many votes do I have so far?

None.

None? That's impossible.

I must have at least one.

I voted for myself.

Well, there was one ballot which had to be voided.

Voided?

It seems your campaign manager, Chester, the chimp,

ate half of it.

That stupid monkey!

[GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]