Original subtitles

[♪♪]

[BELL CLANGS]

The plane! The plane!

[LAUGHTER]

Ah, what a magnificent day.

[SNIFFS]

The air is like wine, is it not, my friend?

You can drink the air later, boss.

Las Miragas, you remember?

The plane, the plane.

Of course. But, uh, why such a rush?

Because today, it’s my turn.

Your turn? For what, Tattoo?

To give a fantasy to one of our guests

just like you.

Boss, you didn’t forget, did you?

Forget what, Tattoo?

Well, you promised me

that I could give a fantasy on my own.

Yes. Sometime in the near future.

But I had no idea you’d be ready so soon.

But I am ready.

I did all the research,

all the preparation and I’m ready.

Ah, how exciting for you.

And, uh, who is the lucky person or persons

whose fantasy you’ve chosen to work on?

Well, I’m not gonna tell you.

This time, it’s your turn to be surprised.

I can hardly wait.

[♪♪]

Smiles, everyone, smiles.

[PLAYING HAWAIIAN MUSIC]

Dr. Carlson and his wife, Denise,

from San Francisco.

He looks like a very confident man.

With reason, my friend.

Dr. Carlson is one of the most successful men

in the medical profession today.

He’s still considerably under forty.

He is chairman of the board of his own hospital.

If he’s so successful, what’s his fantasy, boss?

The doctor is seeking capital

for the dream of his life.

A vast new healthcare complex.

Boss, if he’s trying to raise some money on us,

let me put him on the next plane home.

You’ll be even more shocked

when you learn the sum he needs.

Fifty million dollars. [GASPS]

Yes, and he hopes we can help him

raise it by Monday morning.

Ah, who are those attractive young ladies?

They are the one I chose to give their fantasy to.

It figures.

Evelyn Katenbaum and Dee Dee Verona.

For years, they have been working hard

as chorus girls in Las Vegas.

But their fantasy is gonna fix all that.

And, uh, what is their fantasy?

Boss, they wanna meet and marry millionaires.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roarke, your host.

And I’m your host, Mr. Tattoo.

BOTH: Welcome to Fantasy Island.

[♪♪]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

The food is sensational.

We can stuff ourselves with food at home.

Can’t you ever relax?

Dr. Carlson, Mrs. Carlson.

I hope you are enjoying yourselves.

Oh, no, please. Sit down.

If there is anything I can do

to make your stay more comfortable?

Mr. Roarke, I understood that you can help me

raise funds for a very important project.

Yes. The Carlson Medical Center, Dr. Carlson.

Yes.

Can you do it?

I don’t mean to sound abrupt,

but, uh, I don’t like to waste

other people’s time or my own.

Did you know that the Guttenberg Foundation

have their headquarters

right here on Fantasy Island?

Guttenberg? Yes.

They’re one of the biggest

charitable foundations in the world.

Right up there with Ford and Getty.

ROARKE: Yes.

I’ve arranged for you to discuss your project

with Mr. Gordon Ross,

financial advisor for the Foundation.

I’m very grateful, Mr. Roarke.

And I owe you an apology.

No, you-- You do things

faster than I ever thought possible.

Now, if you will excuse me...

I’ve got a lot a preparing to do for that meeting.

Mr. Roarke.

Uh, may I? Of course.

Mrs. Carlson, I would like to ask you a question.

Since the doctor seems

primarily interested in finance,

when has he time to practice medicine?

[CHUCKLES]

I’ve asked that question a lot.

Um, pardon me if this question sounds a little strange.

But don’t you want the doctor to have his fantasy,

a giant complex named after him?

Of course.

I want...

what’s best for him.

I just wish I knew what that was.

Excuse me, Mr. Roarke. Yes.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Mm.

Intriguing, my friend. What’s that?

Well, when you offered to show me

the preparations for Evelyn and Dee Dee’s fantasy,

I never expected to be brought to this old opera house.

Why not? It’s simple.

Where do chorus girl meet rich guys?

Uh, uh...

Now let me think. Um...

In the theater?

Right.

I’m putting on a Broadway musical

for millionaire backers.

Oh, yes.

That always brings in the big spenders,

but where are you going to find

a new Broadway musical?

Hit it, sweetheart.

Let’s go, boss.

Ah-ah-ah.

Okay, uh, let’s do the boy meets girl number

from the top. All right.

[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] And, I’ll play the girl.

[IN DEEP VOICE] I’ll play the boy.

BOTH: ♪ Well, here we are ♪

♪ Down by the seashore ♪

♪ What do you think of that? ♪

♪ Me with my beach umbrella ♪

♪ Me with my floppy hat ♪

BOTH: ♪ Let’s put on our swimsuits ♪

♪ And go for a plunge ♪

♪ I’d rather cook Some Wheaties ♪

♪ And have some lunch ♪

Man, does this stink.

Mm.

Bernie. Mm?

Our producer.

Mr. Tattoo, you’re just in time.

We’ve got some sensational new songs...

Shh. Cool it, boys. Cool it.

I’m sure you know Mr. Roarke.

Well, Bernie and Jack,

when I hired you to perform

in the Fantasy Island Lounge

on a trial basis,

I never dreamed you had Broadway aspirations.

Well, we don’t let this interfere

with our gig in the lounge, sir.

At least, not much. Uh, Mr. Tattoo said

that the show was the most important thing

and, uh, he’s the boss.

Really.

Boss, I didn’t say that.

I just said that I was the producer.

And I needed a writer and, uh,

and a story and some music.

So Bernie and Jack were there

with a full time of... you know what I mean.

I think Tattoo finding you for the job

was a stroke of near genius.

Uh, but, uh, where do Evelyn and Dee Dee

fit into the production?

Oh. They’re gonna be the stars of the show.

All right, boys,

the girls are gonna be here in an hour.

Why don’t you go backstage and I’ll meet you there.

Right, right.

That’s very good, boss.

DR. CARLSON: Briefly, it is the hospital of the future.

A condition sensor from each patient bed

feeds into this data bank

which is capable of both diagnosis and prognosis.

In the event of complications,

this central computer alerts a team of specialists.

Costs are reduced.

Efficiency increased

because these highly trained doctors and surgeons

can monitor patients

at a dozen hospitals simultaneously.

But with everything so removed,

what about the traditional doctor-patient relationship?

Will they ever see each other?

Well, I’m afraid the...

emotional involvement is a casualty of economics.

It’s unfortunate, but it can’t be helped.

I see.

I’m sure your plan fits our funding criteria.

However, you’ll have to present the concept

to the executive committee for their final approval.

Fine. When can I see them?

Well, that’s the problem.

They’re adjourning their annual meeting

tomorrow afternoon.

If you could have dinner with them tonight.

Just tell me where.

The villa is on the other side of the island.

I’ll call them and tell them you’re coming.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

You idiot.

Don’t you have brains to pull over to the side?

[PANTING]

Good lord, you’re having a baby.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Hurry up, Evelyn.

If we’re late for this first rehearsal,

Mr. Tattoo’ll think we’re unprofessional.

Hey, well, it won’t be my fault, you know.

I’m the one that’s nearsighted

and you’re the one who glued her eyelashes together.

Hey, look.

Oh.

Well, they better be able to sing, act and dance

or this show’s gonna be a turkey.

Now those are two real cute guys.

Look at the tall blonde one.

He looks like Robert Redford, doesn’t he?

Except he has a different face and different body.

DEE DEE: It’s too obvious.

Look at the little guy at the piano.

Now there’s a guy with sensitivity.

I like the way his glasses fall down his nose.

Don’t worry. The girl will be perfect

or I would never have chosen myself.

Now, they must backstage.

[WHISTLING]

Come in, girls.

A little traveling music for Evelyn and Dee Dee.

[PIANO BEING PLAYED]

You’re our new stars, huh. Hi. Listen, I’m Bernie.

Hi. I’m Dee Dee. Whoever you are.

She’s Dee Dee. I’m Evelyn.

I-I’m-I’m Jack, Jack Terry.

[GIGGLES]

How do you do?

Can the small talk. And you kids,

you better hurry up and learn

the new waiting number.

I want to do it for the backers’ audition.

Right. Backers’ audition. You--

We have to be real sharp for those rich millionaires,

don’t we, Evelyn? Aha.

Hey, Katenbaum. Huh?

The millionaires. Oh, we have to go rehearse.

We have to rehearse now. Let’s go.

Rehearse. Right. Rehearse.

You’ll be terrific. I wrote you a song.

I think I might... You write the songs?

BERNIE: Oh. I wrote the whole show.

Uh, they should have

a very successful collaboration.

They seem to have found

what might best be described as, um,

instant rapport.

Tattoo?

Tattoo? [TAPS]

Tattoo.

Well, boss,

when you’re a big producer,

you’ve gotta present the proper image.

Oh, sure.

[GRUNTS] LAYLA: Oh.

[LAYLA MOANS]

You okay?

Here, let me see.

Pains are still coming ten minutes apart.

That means the baby won’t be here for a while yet.

This your first?

Yes.

I’m hoping for a boy.

Well, I’ll have the tire changed in just a minute.

Does this thing run?

Oh, yes.

Well, I may borrow it after I drop you off.

Where’s the nearest doctor?

In the village. About twelve miles ahead.

Twelve miles.

Is there a phone there?

No.

[SIGHS]

Well, at least you’ll be all right there.

LAYLA: You must be a very important man.

What’s your business?

Actually, I’m a doctor.

That’s so good.

Our Dr. Thomas, he’s very old,

but very, very kind.

They say he does not keep up with the times.

I’m sure you know much more.

Obstetrics isn’t exactly my specialty.

Ops...?

Delivering babies.

Oh.

You don’t need me.

I’ll get you to Dr. Thomas soon

and you and the baby will be just fine.

[ENGINE CRANKS] [STEAM HISSES]

Oh, no.

I’m sorry. It does that a lot.

Aah! Are you hurt?

If this happens all the time, why don’t you get it fixed?

That would cost money and I have none.

Can you walk?

I wish yes.

But I don’t think so.

[PLAYS NOTES]

Oh, boss,

you’re just in time for my new hit song.

Oh? I wrote it for the second act.

Uh-huh. Why don’t you sit down

and, uh, play it and I will sing it for you.

Then, uh, rehearsals are going well, I presume, huh?

Oh, fabulous. Yeah.

Why don’t you start with the intro?

Naturally, naturally.

[PLAYS NOTES]

How are the girls getting along with Bernie and Jack?

They seem to find one another quite interesting.

Oh, they’re okay, boss. They’re okay.

I’ll get them married to millionaires.

Why don’t you start again? This is perfect now.

All right.

♪ They say a knife In the back ♪

♪ Can cause you pain ♪

♪ Well, so does An old ankle sprain ♪

♪ Concussion can kill you ♪

♪ But I can thrill you ♪

[VOCALIZES]

♪ ’Cause nothing I say nothing ♪

♪ Hurts like love Shooby-dooby doo ♪

♪ Shooby-dooby doo ♪

♪ Yes, nothing ♪

♪ Hurts like love ♪

How do you like it, boss?

It really grabs you, hmm?

Yes, I feel like I’ve definitely been grabbed.

I’m sure it will make a very large impression.

I’m gonna stick it in the show right away.

Oh.

And, boss. Yes.

Can I ask you a question? Of course.

How about Evelyn and Dee Dee?

Do you think they like, uh,

Bernie and Jack better than the millionaires?

[SIGHS]

Love is an irrational element.

It often has nothing whatever to do with common sense.

Don’t worry, boss.

Their fantasy was to marry money.

Well, I’m gonna make sure they get what they want.

[HUMS]

[VOCALIZES]

[MOANS]

Are you okay?

[GROANS] Okay.

All right. Now just hang on. Hang on.

That’s it. That’s it.

[EXHALES]

Thattagirl.

There. Okay.

Good girl.

Just give me a minute to rest and we’ll go on.

You’re a good man.

The people, your patients,

must love you very much.

I don’t have much to do with the patients.

Why not?

It’s not my job.

But what is your job?

I raise money.

I make sure that things run right.

Understand?

But a doctor who does not doctor.

That is very strange.

I never heard of such a thing.

[GROANS]

Just hold on.

Hold on.

I’m gonna see if I can get some water.

Get this thing started.

[MEN AND WOMEN SINGING] [PIANO PLAYING]

[GROANS]

I hurt my heel. I’m sorry.

Are you okay? Yes.

Ow, ow, ow. That’s where it is.

Oh, you poor kid. Your ankle is swollen.

I think a little massage would help.

Yeah?

Hi.

Hi.

Your music’s beautiful.

It carries with it a message

of happiness on wings of melody.

That’s very poetic.

Thank you.

[♪♪]

[INAUDIBLE]

What are you doing? What’s going on?

You’re supposed to be rehearsing.

We were just taking a break.

Well, next time you can take your break

in a different part of the room.

Come on, girls. I wanna talk to you.

Come on.

Listen.

I set up a cocktail party

so you can meet some millionaires

before the audition.

Now, I want everything to go perfectly.

[SIGHS] Evelyn.

Millionaires. Yeah.

Well, we want everything to be perfect too.

So we’ll do whatever you want.

Hello! Anybody there?

This lady needs help. In there.

Oh, Layla. Oh, my.

Here you are. Oh, Layla.

Where’s the doctor? He’s not here.

An emergency. The farmer got hurt.

His tractor has overturned. When will he be back?

When he’s finished, sir.

I am the doctor’s midwife.

Oh, good. Good.

This lady will take care of you

until the doctor comes back.

Thank you and good luck.

[MOUTHS] Yeah.

Sir, sir.

Sir. I-I know this girl.

The doctor is very worried about her.

She has lost three babies.

If this baby is not turned right,

she will have much trouble.

Maybe she will die this time

if the doctor is not here to help.

Then find her husband, have him go for the doctor.

Her husband?

He was killed six months ago.

There is only her

and the baby.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

After I finish making Honeymoon Follies a hit,

I will make a musical version of Moby Dick.

The only thing I have to do is to get a dancing whale.

[LAUGHS] That’s not too hard, is it?

Have a bit more champagne, Dee Dee.

I love to watch your nose crinkle

when the bubbles attack.

Hey, funny.

You’re a fun guy, Freddie. Thank you.

[SIGHS]

But Evelyn and I are late for a rehearsal

and we’ve gotta go.

Then you must have dinner with me tonight.

I think I’m mad for you.

Will you excuse me?

We really have to go.

Certainly.

[WHISPERS] Rehearsal.

Oh. Goodbye.

Can you believe it? I mean,

a real live millionaire is crazy about me.

Yeah.

Oh, is he gorgeous too.

[MOUTHS] I love you.

[CHUCKLES]

Mine isn’t that gorgeous, but look at it.

He’s got tremendous drive.

I think he’s in love already.

Well, this is what we waited for, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. Right.

So why do I feel so rotten?

You have a millionaire on tap

and all I can think about is that crummy songwriter, Jack.

Fight it, Evelyn.

You have to turn yourself to steel and go for riches

or it’ll be just like it was in Las Vegas all over again.

Ugh.

I thought you liked Bernie?

I do.

But I’m not gonna let infatuation ruin my life.

Besides, Freddie is a wonderful person.

He collects porcelain.

Oh, nice.

Hey, see if you can get him to send

me and Dewitt a sink for a wedding present.

TATTOO: Something tells me I’ve got a problem.

Oh, Mr. Roarke.

Mrs. Carlson, I’m afraid there is a problem.

The doctor’s car was found on the road.

There’s been a slight accident. Oh, no, nothing serious.

But, uh, he wasn’t found.

Didn’t he arrive at the villa?

I’m afraid not. I am going to drive the road

and perhaps I can find him.

You’re certainly welcome to join me if you wish.

I’ll be ready in a couple of minutes.

[LAYLA GROANS]

[GROANS]

The pains are faster now. Three minutes apart.

Is something wrong, sir?

Nothing.

Just looks like I’m gonna miss an appointment.

[CHICKEN CACKLING]

It’s the doctor.

Good.

Now you just hang on.

You’re gonna be fine.

Doctor, there’s a patient in there waiting for you.

Who are you?

Well, I’m just a good Samaritan whose job is done.

JACK: Right. Arch the back.

Beautiful, beautiful.

Very nice.

Great.

Okay, okay. That’s it.

All right. Take five, everybody.

We wanna talk to our stars privately.

Come on.

Well, what’s the matter? Did we do--

No. Um...

Actually, it would probably be better

if we talked to you alone.

Jack talking to Evelyn

and me talking to you.

But we don’t have the time

and since we’re partners,

we don’t have any secrets

so here goes.

We love you.

He means that he loves you

and I love you.

I know we haven’t proved to you

that we can get to Broadway,

but you’ll always get the best from us.

I know what we’re doing is crazy,

but we’re still doing it.

We want you to marry us.

Uh, him, her and-- And...

you...well...

It isn’t that we don’t...

like you a lot.

Me, you, her, him.

It’s just that, uh...

That...

It’s just that it would be wrong for us

because we didn’t come to Fantasy Island

to get married, at least not to you.

I’m sorry.

Well, we wish you all the best.

Uh, places everyone for the-- For the wedding number.

[♪♪]

Dr. Thomas, have you seen, by any chance, a gentleman--?

Mr. Roarke, I must have your help.

There’s a girl inside.

Her water has broken, but the baby’s breached.

It won’t come out. Can’t you help her?

I will if I have to, but I don’t wanna chance it.

She needs a cesarean.

I’m not operating anymore.

But the girl said there was a man here, he’s a doctor.

He’s on his way to Guttenberg Villa.

Hold on as best you can, doctor,

I’ll try to catch up with him.

Ah, Mrs. Carlson. I think I’m needed here.

Can you use another nurse?

I used to be pretty good.

Oh, thank you.

I’ll be back soon.

[ENGINE CRANKS]

[HORN HONKS]

Ah, hell.

You are needed back at the village, doctor.

It’s the girl.

Dr. Thomas feels she needs a cesarean.

Look, Roarke, that’s a simple operation.

Dr. Thomas’s afraid he’s over his head.

He’s an old man.

He’s afraid the girl might die if he operates.

Don’t you understand?

I’m asking the Guttenberg Foundation

for $50 million!

Yes, for the Carlson Medical Center.

People have babies every day. She’ll be all right.

I’m sorry.

And I’m sorry for you, Dr. Carlson.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[BELL RINGS]

Do we still have her, doctor?

Barely, I think.

I doubt if we could’ve waited much longer.

Doctor...

the baby won’t...

Now, don’t worry.

We’re gonna give him some help.

Trust me.

Everything’s gonna be just fine.

We’ll take the baby by C-section.

Are you ready, nurse?

Yes, doctor. I have everything prepared.

[WATER RUNNING]

[BELL RINGS] [BABY CRYING]

It’s a boy!

Oh, wonderful.

Lovely.

And, uh, the mother?

Resting and doing well.

I’ve been in touch with the Foundation

by our C.B. radio.

The executive committee understands

why you’re late

and will wait for you.

You better tell them

that I’m not coming.

But what about the Carlson Medical Center?

Let somebody else build it.

There are plenty of good engineering doctors

who can put it together without me.

You know, I had almost forgotten

that this is what medicine is all about.

Mr. Roarke, can I tell him now?

I think you should, yes.

I had a fantasy too.

That something would happen

to give us back our marriage.

Thanks for giving me back the doctor I married.

Why so sad, my friend?

Boss, I blew it. What?

The girls.

They don’t love the millionaires.

They love the songwriters.

What shall I do, boss?

They’re miserable.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well...

If you could

engineer a happy uniting of the lovers,

Dee Dee with Bernie and Evelyn with Jack,

almost the way it happens on stage...

in the wedding number.

Boss.

[APPLAUSE]

And now future backers,

here come the highlight of my show.

The big wedding number.

Where the two leading lady

marry their dancing millionaires

and live happily ever on after.

[♪♪]

WOMEN: ♪ We’re going ♪

♪ To a wedding ♪

♪ We don’t expect to cry ♪

♪ Cause getting married Can be such fun ♪

♪ When a girl Has found a guy ♪

♪ So here’s a preacher ♪

♪ Reverend Jones ♪

♪ He’ll tie the lovers’ knot ♪

[APPLAUSE] [AUDIENCE CHEERS]

Boss, he’s perfect. Who is he?

The Reverend Abner Moody from Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

His fantasy was to appear in a musical.

Fortunately, his request came in last week.

Well, I hope they don’t kill me

when they find out they’re getting married for real

and not to millionaires.

WOMEN: ♪ Here comes the bride ♪

♪ And then the groom ♪

[INAUDIBLE]

♪ If you wanna get married ♪

♪ You may have to be carried ♪

♪ To the preacher man very ♪

♪ ’Cause you’re nervous ♪

♪ And saying I do ♪

♪ Ah, do you? ♪

♪ We do ♪

♪ But do you? ♪

♪ We’ll do it too ♪

WOMEN: ♪ And when you get married ♪

♪ The bride’s Gonna be carried ♪

♪ Across the threshold ♪

♪ ’Cause that’s how it starts ♪

♪ It’s official ♪

♪ Time for a ride ♪

♪ You’re married ♪

♪ Please kiss the bride ♪

[APPLAUSE]

By the authority vested in me, I hereby proclaim you,

Dee Dee Verona and Bernard Parker

and you, Evelyn Katenbaum and Jack Terry,

man and wife.

You mean, well, we’re married? EVELYN: Wait?

We’re really married?

Oh, yes.

We’re married! [EXCLAIMS]

[LAUGHS]

[APPLAUSE]

WOMEN: ♪ Now the future ♪

♪ Belongs to you ♪

♪ Because you said I do and I do ♪

♪ Now you’re really married ♪

♪ You don’t have To be carried ♪

♪ To the preacher now ♪

♪ You are married ♪

♪ The groom and the bride ♪

♪ They have each found ♪

♪ A wonderful guy ♪

[APPLAUSE]

I really failed, boss.

They didn’t marry millionaires.

Well, actually, Bernie and Jack had a fantasy too.

They did?

They are very successful Broadway dramatists,

but nobody in New York would give them a chance

to do a musical, so...

Boss, they are successful playwrights?

Yes.

Then they must have a few bucks in the bank.

A few million, to be exact.

Then they got their millionaires.

They got married to their millionaires.

I did it. I really pulled it off.

Did I, boss?

You certainly did, my friend.

You certainly did.

[APPLAUSE]

[♪♪]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

Congratulations, my friend.

The show was a smash.

But it’s not the end, boss.

Not yet. No?

They didn’t do my beautiful number.

Oh. You remember?

You promised.

Ahem, yes, I-- I did, didn’t I?

Here, boss.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[EXHALES] Lights.

Maestro, introduction, please.

[PIANO PLAYING]

BOTH: ♪ They say a knife In the back ♪

♪ Can cause you pain ♪

♪ Well, so does An old ankle sprain ♪

♪ Concussion can kill you ♪

♪ But it can thrill ♪

♪ Or carry your heart High above ♪

♪ ’Cause nothing ♪

♪ How you say, nothing ♪

♪ Hurts like love ♪

♪ Shooby-dooby Shooby-dooby ♪

♪ Yeah, nothing ♪

♪ Hurts like love ♪

Yeah.

Thanks!

[EXCLAIMING]

Good luck and a lot of happiness.

Pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?

Congratulations.

Goodbye, Mr. Roarke, and thanks.

Thank you for everything. Goodbye, doctor.

Mrs. Carlson.

[♪♪]