Original subtitles

♪ Attention, please ♪

♪ Attention ♪

♪ We're about to introduce ♪

♪ The brain behind the show ♪

♪ That we have come here to produce ♪

♪ The Zigberts and the Schuberts ♪

♪ And the Minskys have for years ♪

♪ Been sending forth this genius when they needed new ideas ♪

♪ He's the king of all producers ♪

♪ Would you like to meet him now ♪

- Sasha Pasha.

Take a bow

♪ You sent for Sasha Pasha ♪

♪ Sasha Pasha, he has come ♪

♪ Hooray for Sasha Pasha ♪

♪ Now what things begin to hum ♪

♪ I got an inspiration ♪

♪ A sensation of the day ♪

♪ When you look at Sasha Pasha ♪

♪ Sure we know you're gonna say ♪

♪ It's colossal ♪

♪ Tremendous ♪

♪ Gigantic ♪

♪ Stupendous ♪

♪ The super special epic of the year ♪

♪ Marvelous ♪

♪ It's amazing ♪

♪ Titanic ♪

♪ Terrific ♪

♪ Dynamic ♪

♪ It has a lot ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ It'll kill a middle ♪

♪ Thrill a middle ♪

♪ Make 'em throw a fit ♪

♪ 'Cause whatever Sasha Pasha does is bound to be a hit ♪

♪ It's colossal ♪

♪ Tremendous ♪

♪ Gigantic ♪

♪ Stupendous ♪

♪ The super special epic of the year ♪

♪ Artists, models ♪

♪ It's marvelous ♪

♪ It's great ♪

♪ He's really getting in the mood ♪

♪ He's starting to create ♪

- Quiet.

- Quiet. - Quiet.

♪ It's the opening ♪

♪ Can't you see? ♪

♪ Your ideas are so amazing that even frighten me ♪

- Do you mean it?

- Yes. - Yes.

- Yes.

- Yes. - Yes.

- Yes. - Look, he means it.

♪ Sasha Pasha is the genius ♪

♪ He's a whale ♪

♪ I want 1,000 camels on the desert by a spring ♪

♪ As the curtain slowly rises ♪

♪ All the camels start to sing ♪

♪ What, the camels? ♪

♪ Yes, the camel ♪

♪ Don't you think that's kind of sad? ♪

- Quiet.

- Quiet. - Quiet.

- Quiet.

- Please don't make me mad.

♪ Can you do it? ♪

♪ Yes If Yes ♪

♪ Don't yes me ♪

♪ Yes ♪

♪ I can do it ♪

♪ Sasha Pasha is a genius ♪

♪ He can wow ♪

♪ Did you get me 90 horses and swimming pool to swim in ♪

♪ What, a swimming pool for horses? ♪

♪ No, a swimming pool for women ♪

♪ Are you ready with the lightning ♪

♪ When my beauty queens come in ♪

♪ We've got everything you wanted ♪

♪ And we're ready to begin ♪

♪ Then let's begin ♪

♪ Start the overture ♪

♪ Lift the curtain ♪

♪ Now I want a gang of carpenters to bring a set of stairs ♪

♪ And nail 'em down ♪

♪ What happened to that texture mat ♪

♪ I ordered of a little Spanish town ♪

♪ Right there I want a backdrop that's artistic ♪

♪ The genius wants a backdrop that's artistic ♪

♪ And in that place with something modernistic ♪

♪ He wants it filled with something modernistic ♪

- Now trees.

- Trees.

- Trees. - Trees.

- And gimme the moon.

- Turn the moon on.

- Turn the moon off.

- Turn the moon on.

- Turn it off. - More trees.

- Hey, cut it out.

- Take 'em away.

Bring in all the girls.

- Aah, girls. - Aah, girls.

- Where's girls?

- There's girls.

- Yeah, girls.

♪ And now the ballet ♪

♪ Tra la la la ♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪ Tra la la la la ♪

- I love the ballet.

♪ Tra la la la la la la la la la la la ♪

- Now, lights.

- Lights.

- Hit 'em up with a spark.

- More lights.

- Lights.

Give 'em all you got.

♪ Repeat the ballet ♪

♪ Tra la la la la la la la la la ♪

♪ We love the ballet ♪

♪ Tra la la la la la la la ♪

♪ Tra la la la ♪

- Fire.

♪ It's colossal ♪

♪ Tremendous ♪

♪ Gigantic ♪

♪ Stupendous ♪

♪ The super special epic of the year ♪

♪ It's amazing ♪

♪ Iconic ♪

♪ Terrific ♪

♪ Dynamic ♪

♪ It has a thrill ♪

♪ This is just a little sample ♪

♪ Sasha did it in a wink ♪

♪ Just imagine what would happen ♪

♪ If I ever stopped to think ♪

♪ It's colossal ♪

♪ Tremendous ♪

♪ Gigantic ♪

♪ Stupendous ♪

♪ The super special epic of the year ♪

- There it is, Mac.

There's your opening.

Can you imagine what that'll do to an audience?

- Won't that be a sensation they'll talk about for years?

Didn't we tell you, if you gave us a chance,

we'd put something terrific.

What do you think of it, Mac?

Yeah, how do you like it.

- Boys, I can tell you in two words.

It stinks.

- Listen, they made you chairman

of the Artist and Model's Ball, didn't they?

- Yes.

- You want this year's Artists and Models Ball

be the greatest you've ever had, don't you?

- Yes.

- And you told us to go ahead

and put on the show, didn't you?

- Yes.

-And you mean to say that my creation stinks.

- "Stupendous, gigantic, colossal".

There isn't anything

or anybody in the world that good, except me.

And I won't admit it.

Well, Stella, I did a pretty good day's work today,

don't you think?

No.

- Oh, I think I can knock off and go home, don't you?

- No.

Look at these unpaid bills.

- Well, what would you suggest?

- I have two suggestions.

First, that we get some new accounts.

- That's my worry, Stella.

Next, that you put some money in the bank

to meet this week's payroll.

- And there's one for you.

So long.

What do I tell the sheriff when he comes.

- Sheriff?

Have I got a date with him?

- You will have, if you don't take care of these.

- Oh.

Oh, well, maybe I ought to stick around.

Put the Brewster brains to work.

- That would establish a precedent.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know, Stella.

It's a pretty nice looking office, isn't it?

I built this up from nothing.

- Well, you're still even.

- Mm-hm.

- Chateaux Item, madam, 1924.

- Mm, the perfect wine for a pheasant dinner.

- Okay, that's it.

- I'm tired.

I'm dead.

- Let me have the jewelry, would you?

- Yes.

Alan Townsend on the telephone.

- Oh, Stella, can't you see I'm busy.

It's the Townsend Silver account.

- Townsend?

Well, why didn't you say so?

Hello, Mr. Townsend.

Mac Brewster speaking.

Oh, well, put 'em on.

- How much blackmail are you going to charge me

for that baby's health foundation?

- I have you up for at least $1,000.

- At most $1,000.

- I'll let you off much cheaper if you can tell me some way

to raise a lot of money all at once.

I hate this begging from my friends.

- Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mr. Brewster.

I'd like to discuss your idea

for our new advertising campaign.

Of all the plans submitted,

I like yours the best.

- Well, thank you, Mr. Townsend.

Yes, silverware is impersonal, so to speak.

But if we can get the public to think of it

in the terms of a beautiful and charming girl.

Say the, well, say the Townsend Silver girl,

I think we've got something there.

- Exactly.

Now about the cost.

What would you say if I would appropriate a million dollars?

Mr. Brewster?

Mr. Brewster?

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Brewster.

- Hello, hello.

- Oh, hello, Brewster.

I thought we were cutoff.

Naturally, you have some ideas.

- Well, well, of course. Mr. Townsend.

I planned a publicity tie up.

That goes without saying.

Oh, what did exactly did I have in mind?

Well...

I'll tell you what I had in mind, Mr. Townsend.

Of course, you know about the Artists and Models Ball.

Well, as chairman, I select the queen.

Get it?

The girl we use for your ad will become the queen

of the Artists and Models Ball.

Publicity?

Say, the Townsend girl will be on the front page

of every paper in the country.

Nice going, kid.

- If you can guarantee that the Townsend girl

will be queen of the Artists and Models Ball,

you can send the contracts right over.

No, no, Mr. Brewster, thank you.

It's a pleasure to do business with you.

I can see that we think alike.

Goodbye.

- Were you talking to the man who's in charge

of the Artists and Models Ball?

- Yes, McKay Brewster.

He's going to handle our advertising.

- I could sell a lot of tickets for that ball

if they give the proceeds to the foundation.

- Come in, Stella.

Stella, I'm waiting.

- Well...

- Oh, how do you do?

Get this week's paycheck ready,

I might as well sign 'em today.

- How's the bank going to feel about it?

- And draw up the contracts for the Townsend Silver account,

million dollar campaign.

Well, no cries of joy?

- Excuse me, I've just fainted.

- Well, unfaint.

Now may I go home?

Well, maybe I can sell this to a midget.

- Woo-hoo.

May I come in?

- Yes, If I'm not intruding.

- Hello, Paula.

- Here, file these.

- One, two, and three.

Say, when are you gonna photograph my face?

- Be patient.

We're working up to that gradually.

- How do you feel today, Mac?

- Paula.

I feel just as fresh and sparkling and cute as you look.

- Well, I'm glad you're in a good mood.

- Good mood.

I'm always in a good mood.

Fairweather Brewster. That's me.

- Say, Mac. I've got a marvelous idea.

Marvelous for me, I mean.

- Mm-hm.

Now listen, Paula.

You've been a good little girl

and you've been learning fast.

And someday you're gonna be a great little model.

But you'll

- just have to wait for a break. - Have to wait for a break.

- Mind reader,

- Mac, you can gimme that break now.

Make me queen of the Artists and Models Ball.

- Queen of the ball?

Now, what made you think of such a modest little request?

- Well, think of what it'd mean to me, Mac.

Thousands of dollars worth of publicity.

Why, it's a chance that any model

in this country would give a second husband to get.

You've aways said you'd do everything you could for me.

- Well, I would, Paula,

but no, this is a little bit complicated.

You see the, well, for business reasons,

the queen of the ball has to be the Townsend Silver girl.

It's a million-dollar account.

- Well, why can't I do that?

It'll be a marvelous contract.

Oh, can't you fix it for me, Mac, please?

- Hey, of course I can.

Why didn't I think of it?

- Oh, you're a darling.

- That's 'cause you're a darling.

At this time, you know what I think of you.

Get Townsend on the phone.

Townsend?

- Sure, Townsend Silver, established 1861.

- Say, I didn't think Townsend ever spoke

to anybody less than an archbishop.

- Oh, we're practically pals.

Why, we see things alike, we think alike.

We might owe the same tailor.

Hey.

I'm either gonna get a new chair or spurs.

- Mr. Townsend on the phone.

- Hello, Mr. Townsend.

Oh, well, put 'em on.

Oh, Mr. Townsend.

Mac Brewster speaking.

I've got a great piece of news for you.

I've got the Townsend girl.

Yes, sir.

Just what we've been looking for.

Beauty, glamour, lovely figure.

Fact, she looks just, thanks.

Fact, she looks just as well with clothes as without.

- No, no, no, Mr. Brewster.

I don't want a professional model.

Actually, what I have in mind is the girl

who might have just stepped outta the social register.

In fact, that's what I think we ought to look for.

No, Mr. Brewster, the contracts can wait.

Evidently, we're not thinking in the same terms.

I think our first step is to find the girl.

- Alright.

You're the boss.

- What happened?

- After all, Paula, the Townsend account

isn't the only one in the world.

- You mean you couldn't fix it for me?

- Oh, I can fix it for you, alright,

if it weren't for Townsend.

He's going into the social register for his model.

You know, a debutante, solid gold with ancestors.

- Ancestors?

- Mm-hm.

- Well, I've got ancestors too.

Even if they did miss the Mayflower.

I'm sick of these society girls stealing our jobs.

- I'm sorry, honey.

Look, Paula, let's you and I go out

and take a nice long walk.

Maybe it'll rain.

- I'd be rotten company even in the rain, Mac.

- Hey, are you crying?

- No.

- What do you call this?

- I don't know. It just slipped.

- Oh, don't cry.

I can't stand anybody crying.

- Well, what's the use, Mac?

What is it for a girl like me to do?

Either get married or jump out of a window?

- Hey, wait a minute.

It's not as bad as all that.

- Yes it is.

- Oh, you mustn't talk like that.

Gee, losing this job isn't a matter of life or death.

- I can't help it, it's just the way I feel.

- Well, I can't have you jumping out of windows.

Oh, look.

Would you feel any better if you had an aspirin tablet

or an ice cream soda, or we got married?

- Oh, Mac, you're such a dolly.

- No kidding, Paula.

You know I've been crazy about you

since the first day I met you.

Gee, I can see you now in a cloud of dust,

posing for Beatty's Bath Powder.

- It's no good, Mac.

I've just gotta go home and cry this thing out.

- Well, have a good time,

and we'll get married anytime you say.

When am I gonna see you again?

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- Hey, stay away from windows.

- Here are the paychecks.

They're ready for you to sign.

- Oh, they can wait till next week.

- Again?

- Mm.

- What was Paula crying about?

- We're gonna get married.

- Oh.

♪ I must be a lucky people ♪

♪ Therefore woe is me ♪

♪ Getting into trouble seems to feed my fragile specialty ♪

♪ Getting in, you'll always find me leading with my chin ♪

♪ Getting out is where the rub comes in ♪

♪ I wrap my troubles in bubbles ♪

♪ But that don't help my cause ♪

♪ Because pop goes the bubble and I'm back in trouble ♪

♪ And soap gets in my eye ♪

♪ I spend my life in a shower ♪

♪ There ain't no Santa Claus ♪

♪ Because pop goes the bubble and my trouble doubles ♪

♪ When soap gets in my eye ♪

♪ I would rather face the music ♪

♪ Provided the band can swing ♪

♪ Mr. Trouble don't like music ♪

♪ If it's a day to keep him away ♪

♪ Then why am I blowing bubbles ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm just wasting time ♪

♪ For I'm always in trouble ♪

♪ When pop goes the bubble ♪

♪ And soap gets in my eye ♪

♪ Pop goes the bubble and I'm back in trouble ♪

♪ As soap gets in my eye ♪

♪ I spend my life in a shower ♪

♪ There ain't no Santa Claus ♪

♪ Because pop goes the bubble and my trouble doubles ♪

♪ When soap gets in my eye ♪

♪ I would rather face the music ♪

♪ Provided that the band can swing ♪

♪ Mr. Trouble don't like music ♪

♪ A day to keep him away ♪

♪ Then why am I blowing bubbles all day ♪

♪ I'm always in trouble when pop goes the bubble ♪

♪ And soap gets in my eye ♪

Oh, hi, Paula.

- Hi.

- God, snuck up on me, didn't you?

- Well, every move's a picture, darling.

- Thanks.

Any luck today, kid?

- Plenty of it.

All bad.

I lost the best job of the year.

Townsend Silver.

- Oh, never mind about that.

What'd Mac say about you being queen of the ball?

- Well, Townsend Silver model's going to be queen.

Wasn't Mac's.

He was a sweetheart.

He even offered to marry me to make me feel better.

- Do you think it would?

- Oh, that's not what I want.

I've been trying to get somewhere on my own,

carve out a career for myself.

Does that sound silly?

- Nope.

I've been doing quite a bit of whittling myself.

- Now what?

Chase around for another six months or a year,

undressing in lingerie shops,

picking up nickels and dimes and posing

for cheaper accounts like this.

Here.

What do I look like to you?

- Lady Bus Bus, queen of the rich.

- Haven't I always acted like a lady.

- Must be my refining influence.

- Why, thousands of people all over this country

pick up their magazines and accept me as a lady.

- Children cry for it.

It's toasted, easy on the eyes and throats.

- How does Townsend know what I look like?

Tear me down without even seeing me.

Listen, I'm gonna tell that gray-haired old fossil

what I think of him.

-Ask him if he's got a boyfriend for me.

- Oh, hello.

May I speak to Mr. Townsend, please?

It's in connection with his advertising campaign.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Townsend's gone home for the day.

No, he won't be in the office tomorrow.

He's leaving for Miami.

- Thank you.

Miami.

- That's funny.

Maya just been trying to get me a couple

of weeks there singing in the floor show.

Huh?

Can you imagine me soaking up

Jen bucks with Mrs. Aston's horse.

- So, he wants a society girl

with silver trimmings on her ancestors, does he?

Family tree.

- Hmm. Honey, you ain't even got a flower pot.

- I know, but I've got the clothes and the nerve, I hope.

I wonder what time I can get a train from Miami tonight.

- Hey, what's so interesting at Miami?

- Sunshine, society and Townsend Silver.

- Girls, girls, beautiful girls.

Ah, what a glorious day.

And a cheery good morning to you, Stella.

- What about these girls?

- They're lovely.

I don't know what I do without 'em.

- At 3:00 AM, you phoned me and ordered them.

Have you the slightest idea of what they're to do.

At 3:00 AM?

- Mm-hm.

- Let me see.

Oh, yes.

This is my happy day.

They're to be the bridesmaids.

I am to be the groom.

Whom's the bride?

- The bride?

Paula Sewell if we can find her.

- Mac Brewster agency.

- Yes, Lord & Early.

Underwear.

Oh, it's a new account.

Well, I'm afraid, Mr. Lord, that Mr. Brewster is too excited

to look at your underwear today.

He's going to be married.

- Stella, which side does the groom walk on?

I don't know.

I've never been on the other side.

- Hello, Paula.

Oh, well, who is it?

What do you want?

Chairman of the Artists and Models Ball.

You got the wrong number.

Chairman of the Artists...

Hey, wait a minute.

I'm chairman of the Artists and Models Ball.

Hello?

Hello, hello?

Stick 'em up.

Don't turn around.

Come on. Come on.

Get 'em up. Get 'em up.

Don't answer that phone.

Hold 'em up.

Get going to the door.

Now, go on, go on.

Keep going.

Keep going.

One phony move and I'll let you have it.

Now go on.

- Hey, what is this? A gag?

He tried to pull a knife, boys.

Let him have it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

you have just heard another installment

of "Detective Valentine's Radio Adventure."

This was the 14th episode in this delightful little series

of why crime

does not pay.

Do not fail to tune in at the same hour tomorrow,

at which time the 15th chapter

of this thrilling adventure story

will be broadcast

from this-

- Nick, run down the hall and get Dr. Zimmer.

- Stella, how do I feel?

- What?

- I mean, how do I look?

You haven't heard from Paula, have you?

- No.

Why don't you sit down and take it easy?

- Look, she, you don't

think she could have killed herself, do you?

- Mr. Brewster, why don't you get yourself together

and stop talking nonsense.

- Oh, you don't know.

Hey, only yesterday she was between jumping out

of a window and marrying me.

- Now I am worried.

- Oh, you don't think she'd do that, do you?

- After all, she didn't have much choice.

- Yeah.

Now, wait a minute.

I may not be any Don Juan,

but if I haven't got more appeal than a 40-story jump

out of a window, I'll...

Alright, 20 stories.

- Hello, hello? - Brewster Agency.

Oh Lord & Early, just a moment.

- Who are they?

- The new underwear account.

- Oh.

Hello.

Mr. Brewster speaking.

Oh, underwear, huh?

Make a note about the laundry.

- Whose laundry?

- Mine.

It hasn't come back yet.

- Maybe you didn't send it out.

- Yeah.

Well, yeah, well, what do you want me to do?

- Take off your coat.

- What?

- Take off your coat.

- My...

Stella, see what he wants.

- Yes.

He wants to know if you can get a man to model underwear.

- Well, certainly, of course.

- Take off your shirt.

- Take off your shirt.

He wants to know how much it'll cost him.

- Well, tell him the usual rate.

- The usual rate.

He wants to know if it's 90 days or cash.

- Tell him cash.

Might not be here in 90 days.

- I think it can be arranged, Mr. Lord.

- Take off your pants.

- He wants to discuss it with you.

What will I tell him?

- Oh, tell him to come over here.

- Mr. Lord, if you and Mr. Early will come over,

Mr. Brewster will be glad to talk to you.

Thanks.

They're coming right over.

- And have these pressed.

Get Eddie Bean on the phone.

Hello, Eddie.

Eddie, look.

This is Mac.

A Mr. Lord and somebody are coming over here

in their underwear.

No, no, it's an underwear account.

Yeah, they'll be over in a few minutes.

Well, bring, send in a camera man.

And a couple of models.

Yeah, met.

- Young man, your blood pressure is very high.

- Well, when I want advice about my blood pressure,

I'll send for a doctor.

- Look- - I'm a doctor.

- Hey, what is this?

- Just a little examination.

Your secretary sent for me.

Quiet, please.

- Well, I don't need an examination.

I'm alright.

Hey, where are we going?

To a garage?

Now, look, Doc, I admit I'm a little nervous,

but gee, I feel pretty well and strong.

How am I?

- 150.

160.

- Hey, what's the record?

- 200.

We doctors have a little joke about that case.

We say the man was disqualified.

- Disqualified?

Yes, he died.

- That's very funny, yeah.

- Hey, 198.

- Oh, don't worry.

The gauge is a couple of points off.

- Oh.

Oh, well then I could be 196.

- Now-

- If you'll just hold this against the chest.

I don't want to alarm you, but...

- Bad?

- Young man, you have led a very dissolute life.

- Well, I could go on the water wagon.

- No, no, it's too late.

I wonder you're still able to walk around.

- Oh, look, Doc, you're listening to your own heart.

- What?

Oh, bless my soul.

- Don't worry about it.

Take it easy, Doc.

Here, that's alright. You'll be alright.

Come on, lie over here and sit down. Rest the eye.

Now just take it easy.

One moment.

Give me a second, Doc.

Here you are.

Here you are. Just take that.

Yeah.

Now, take it easy.

There.

Now, now.

Do you feel better?

- I'll be all right in a minute.

It's nothing.

Nothing at all.

Just the heart.

- Yeah, well, now, now, come on.

Now come up here.

Walk over and take it easy.

You better go see a doctor.

Now, right over here.

There.

Yeah, you know, the gauge was a couple of points off.

- I worry so.

It's business, you know?

- Yeah, well, everybody worries.

You know I've got mine too.

- You?

What do you worry about?

- Well, at present, it's a girl.

- Oh, a girl.

You love her?

Who is she?

- One of my models.

The best.

- Emotional frustration.

Undoubtedly, that is the cause of your nervous condition.

My boy, there is only one cure for you.

Go for the girl.

Look into her eyes and say, "Darling, I love you."

- Oh, excuse me.

- Lord and Early.

- Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.

- How are you? - Hello.

- Hardly the type we wanted for a model, is he, Mr. Lord?

- No.

- Did you ever see such a thing?

- Awfully droopy.

- Hey, boss, have we got a show lined up for you?

- The greatest artists and models show ever put together.

- Get this, get this.

We start this show with Gypsy.

- There she is.

- There's nobody here.

- Why you've never seen the show like it?

- All you need for a three-ring circus is a horse.

- A horse? - A horse?

- He wants a horse. - He wants a horse.

- It would be just be just like Alan to miss the plane.

- I never knew anyone missed a plane.

Now, boats.

You meet the loveliest people missing boats.

- Let's all go somewhere and miss a boat.

- What do you think would be the very best boat to miss?

And have you any suggestions, Mrs. Townsend?

- Well, the boat's never been built

I wouldn't prefer to miss.

- There he is.

- Hello, Alan. - Hello, Mims.

- Smooth trip, old man?

- Splendid.

- Hi, Sis. - Hello.

- Hey, me next.

- Do I know you?

- I'm Alice.

I remember you.

And here's one for you, little girl.

What? The end of the line?

- Mm, this is as far as you'll go, Casanova.

- But I was here all the time.

- Where's Cynthia? I thought she was...

- Oh, so sorry.

I'm terribly clumsy.

- Oh, not at all.

Don't mention it, Mr. Townsend.

- I'm afraid there's some mistake here. I'm Mr. Curry.

That was Mr. Townsend, who just went through.

Pardon me.

- From now on, I've gotta know the name

of every man that kisses me.

♪ Whispers in dark ♪

♪ Two shadows in the night ♪

♪ So gentle, so tender ♪

♪ That every little word is like a song of sweet delight ♪

♪ Whispers in the dark ♪

♪ Oh, heavenly they seem ♪

♪ When lips and arms surrender ♪

♪ And every little kiss is like a dream within a dream ♪

♪ But soon the breezes whisper to the trees ♪

♪ That dawn is near ♪

♪ So soon their little paradise of love will disappear ♪

♪ Whispers in the dark ♪

♪ Up on a night like this ♪

♪ Perhaps I'll hear a little whisper in the dark ♪

♪ On a night like this ♪

♪ Perhaps I'll hear a little whisper in the dark ♪

- Chateau Decameron, 1924.

- Perfect wine for tonight's dinner.

- You know, it can't be age,

but I seem to be losing my memory.

I'm sure I've seen that girl somewhere.

- I have the same vague impression.

I seem to associate her with a boat.

Girls in bathing suits on a sailboat.

- Maybe it was Switzerland last winter.

- I can see her playing tennis.

- In the snow.

- Of course, it maybe might have preyed imagination,

but I have a mental picture of her in lacy underwear.

- Why, Craig?

-And very nice too.

-Alan, you must find out who she is now.

- Now? How?

- Well, ask her if necessary.

You owe her an apology anyway.

Go on. Make it.

I won't have a happy moment until I find out who she is.

Please go on.

- Oh, come on. Oh, come on. - Go over over and ask her.

- $10 she turns you down cold as an oyster.

- I'll take that wager.

Remember, that's my son.

- Pardon me? I'm Alan Townsend.

- Oh, yes, I remember you.

You kissed me.

Now you've decided to apologize.

- Seems terribly complimentary to apologize

for kissing a beautiful young girl.

- Well, that's a great deal smoother than the usual

or street corner approach.

Something about etchings, isn't it?

- Yes.

But in this particular case, it's my mother.

She's been admiring you, like very much to meet you.

- Very well.

I can honestly say I appreciate this opportunity.

- I'll remind you, you owe me $10 at your leisure of course.

- This is like giving money to the Mint.

- Or finding it in an oyster.

- My mother, Mrs. Townsend, this is-

-And I'm Paula Monterey, Mrs. Townsend.

- Thank you. The name's familiar.

- Oh yes, you may recall the old Monterey family

of San Francisco, Del Monterey.

- Well, only by reputation.

My dear, do sit down.

- Thank you. - Please.

- I'm afraid we've been horribly ruined.

My daughter, Lois.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

- Ms. Marjorie Kendall?

- How do you do?

- Mr. Craig Schatman.

- How do you do?

- Ms. Monterey, were you at San Moritz last winter?

- No, not last winter.

- I can see you just as clearly in a plaid scarf

and a willy jacket standing at the top

of a snowy hill on San Moritz.

- No, I was only on Shes once and it wasn't in San Moritz.

I didn't stand up for very long.

- Would you care to struggle with me?

- Just excuse me, will you?

- Why, of course.

Oh, all silvery.

The trees, the grass, and the pool, solid silver.

- No, more like a night washed with a silver alloy.

- Oh, you're much too exact.

-Afraid I am about silver.

Habit.

- Habit?

Why? Why, you must be Townsend Silver.

- Why not?

- Oh, oh, but you're so young.

- And beautiful too. Don't you think?

See the big, big blue eyes?

Hey, I don't think you're giving this

very serious attention.

Don't look now, there's a very beautiful young girl down

there with a handsome man.

- Easily, the handsomest couple in the water.

- She's flirting with him.

- I'll put a stop to that.

Oh.

- Hey. Hold it. I'll be right there.

- No, no, please don't.

I'm alright, don't come in.

- Fast conscious, huh?

Move over.

-Ah.

- Whoa.

Shoulda have got my top coat.

- Look at me. My stocking feet.

- What? Those shoes?

- No.

- Come on. I'll be right up.

- Oh.

- Here they are.

- Oh.

- Say, imagine being caught in here with our clothes on.

- Better than being caught in here with 'em off.

- So, give me your handkerchief.

- Go right ahead.

- Thanks.

You're so kind.

- It's quite alright.

Yeah, think we can get outta here now.

Hey, you're shivering.

- Just a little.

- Well, on with a slipper and off the bed with a hot toddy.

Alright, George. I know who you are.

- You do?

- Yeah.

- Who? - Cinderella.

Little damp and dunk, but still Cinderella.

- Regarding the Social Security Act,

Mr. Brewster would like to know

if he can get an advance now.

- How do you do? I'm Cynthia Wentworth.

- Oh, yes.

It's about a charity, isn't it?

- Well, it's in connection

with the Baby's Health Foundation.

- I think Mr. Brewster will be free soon.

You won't mind waiting?

- Oh, not at all. Thank you.

- There are two people waiting to see you.

A Ms. Weston for the bathing suit

and a Ms. Wentworth to see you about a baby's foundation.

- Well, send in the bathing girl.

I don't want any part of a baby's foundation.

- If we lose a Townsend account, we can use a good charity.

- We won't lose it.

If I can only find a model in the social register.

- Those Park Avenue Debs are hard to pick up on the street.

- Or if you're looking for that young lady,

she stepped out for a moment.

- Of course, she was waiting quite a while.

- Yes?

- I'm sending in Ms. Wentworth.

- Okay.

- How do you do, Mr. Brewster?

- How do you do?

- Well, take off your hat first, please.

- But I'm quite comfortable, thank you.

- Yes, I try to make everybody comfortable.

I want you to put on the swimsuit and the cape.

- Swimsuit?

- Yeah, there's the dressing room right over there.

- But, Mr. Brewster, may I have a word at this point?

- Now, now, I've seen girls in bathing suits before.

- Yes, I know, but I'm afraid

I'm not the girl you think I am.

- I'll know when you come out.

- But, but- - Right in there.

Right in there.

- Well, I've got that bathing girl model now.

- Stella, you're slipping.

She's in here changing her clothes.

- Who's changing whose clothes?

- The bathing girl.

- Whom have you got in that dressing room?

- The girl you sent in, whom?

- The girl I sent in was Miss Wentworth

of the Park Avenue Wentworth.

- Now look, still, I'm a very busy man, so please don't...

The Park Avenue Wentworth?

- Exactly.

- Well, now may I talk to you?

- I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Wentworth.

My secretary made a mistake.

- I made a mistake?

- It's alright, Stella, whom am I to criticize whom?

Have a chair.

I'm sorry I can't offer you a swimming pool.

- Well, you see, Mr. Brewster, I really do represent

quite a worthy charity.

- Yeah. Something about babies, isn't it?

- Exactly.

If you and I could agree on an arrangement,

we could sell a great many tickets to my friends

and charge them anything we wanted to.

- Your friends?

Ms. Wentworth, you are in the social register, aren't you?

- Of course if that means anything.

- Means anything?

Only about a million dollars to me.

Ms. Wentworth, would you consider

posing for some advertisements?

I mean, with your clothes on, of course.

- Oh, can I pose in this?

- No, no, no, I'm afraid not.

You see, this is a very dignified account.

Townsend Silver.

- You want me to pose for the Townsend Silver?

- Yes, my client is in Florida right now.

I thought we could take some photographs, hop on a plane.

I'll lead you right up to Mr. Townsend

and present you as the Townsend girl.

- That would be very amusing.

- What do you say?

- It's a deal on one condition.

That you'll help me take care of our babies.

- Well, that's the least I can do.

Oh, you mean...

- Yes, the baby's foundation.

- Of course, of course, I love babies.

- Oh, do you?

- Oh, yes. I used to be one myself.

- Who is it?

- Nevermind who it is. Open the door.

- Hi ya, babe.

- Dolly, I'm so glad you're here.

I've got a million things to tell you.

- I'm just busting with curiosity.

Say, how's it going?

Have you struck silver yet?

- Silver, we dined together, we danced together.

We even fell in a swimming pool together.

- Say, lady, you work fast,

and how is your private slice of high society?

- To put it mildly, he's terrific.

Wait till you meet him.

- Oh, I won't know how to act for the gentleman.

The kind I attract.

Say, I've been shadowed ever since I left New York.

- Shadowed by whom?

- By a straw hat, an umbrella and an old suitcase.

There was some sort of a man attached to him.

- Well, did he try to molest you.

- He tried everything.

- Well, why didn't you call the police?

- Well, I did, but the walls and mouse disappeared,

and the cop wanted to look me up.

There it is again.

- Why are you following this young lady?

Oh, I guess it's because I'm in love with her.

- What's so funny about that?

Well, it makes me feel so ridiculous.

- How do you like that?

It makes him feel ridiculous.

You can't get away with a crack like that.

- I kind of thought so.

You're in love with me too.

- Who are you?

- Well, I'm Jupiter Pluvius, the 2nd.

- Don't tell me there are two of you.

- Well, there was, you see?

But Pappi finally went to his reward.

He was drowned in the flood of Galveston.

He was a rainmaker.

- And you are a?

- I'm a rainmaker too.

- You're a screwball.

- Seems to be some sort of a doubt.

Well, I have everything here to show you.

Not king, you know?

That's all the stuff for making rain, everything.

Now, for instance, you see, here's the thing.

That's like a drizzle, you see?

It's a just a drizzle, you see?

And over here, this is like a rain, you see?

But like an everyday rain.

It's a, yeah.

And this thing here.

Now here's a pretty thing.

This thing is a storm.

All of a sudden I'm lightning and boom

and water all over the place.

And that's on here.

This is...

Now...

Oh, that's my lunch.

Well, I hope now you're convinced.

- Fire what? Firecrackers?

- Firecracker.

Pappi told me, I'd meet people like you.

Now look, here's my scrapbook.

This is my scrapbook.

This tells everything here.

Now, on page five.

- Jupiter Pluvius II, distinguished rainmaker.

- That's me.

- So you broke the Kansas drought, eh?

- Yes. Well, it took us about six months,

but we finally conquered it.

- Six months.

Providence had nothing to do with it, I suppose.

- Oh, we delivered some showers in Providence.

That was before the Kansas job.

Now let me see here.

There's an, oh, now look.

Oh.

There's Pappi.

That's Pappi.

That's my father.

Now right here.

Oh, look, there's father's biggest job.

That's where he got his reputation right there.

- I don't believe it.

There ain't nobody that can make a single drop of rain,

let alone a flood.

- Skepticism, huh?

Let me have that.

People are laying piece of bread with butter

shouldn't sleep around here.

That's all I can say.

A lot of times when people are skeptical for me,

I don't care for nothing.

I'm getting out of this place.

Wish you'd keep your feet outta my lunch.

You wanna be skeptical of me?

You go.

Eh.

Huh, so that's your little game.

Now, do you feel more comfy?

♪ Say, what's the name of this game we are playing? ♪

♪ Why are you running away? ♪

♪ Oh, you keep winning, and I keep losing now. ♪

♪ Just refusing to play. ♪

♪ Stop ♪

♪ You're breaking my heart ♪

♪ This joke is going too far ♪

♪ Come out wherever you are ♪

♪ Say how come you like to do me like you do ♪

♪ Stop ♪

♪ You're driving me wild ♪

♪ It's tough to take it in grin ♪

♪ Hey, come here ♪

♪ Why are you rubbing it in? ♪

♪ Because you know that I'm in love with you ♪

♪ Well, I'm so, you are so, oh, I don't know ♪

♪ I was losing all hope ♪

♪ You are much too much ♪

♪ I'm just about at the end of my rope ♪

♪ Don't stop upsetting my heart ♪

♪ Look how we start to burn ♪

♪ The world will certainly turn if you don't stop. ♪

♪ Stop ♪

♪ Stop ♪

♪ Stop ♪

♪ Stop your breaking my heart ♪

I thought so. A faker.

- Spot of tea?

- Thank you.

Interesting pattern, isn't it?

- My great-grandfather originated that design.

- Oh, really?

Has the Townsend touch. Dignified, respectable.

- And old fashioned.

Cream or lemon?

- Cream.

- I'm going to change all that.

Next year every baby in America's going to be born

with a silver spoon in its mouth.

Hallmark Townsend.

- Oh, please. Mr, how come?

- By advertising, electrical signs, color displays.

- Marvelous.

For the girl in them.

- And what a girl.

The Townsend girl.

- Oh, I do admire people that can do things.

I've practically no talent for anything except being myself.

- Looking as lovely as you do at this particular minute

is an a special gift.

- Not a very important one, I'm afraid.

- Loveliness is always important.

Ask any photographer, artist.

Hold it.

- What?

- Hold it just as you are.

You're just what I've been looking for.

- What in the world are you talking about?

- The Townsend girl, you.

Would you mind doing it?

Posing for some photographs?

You'd be.

You are perfect.

- Oh, but, Alan, this is so sudden.

- Well, you've got all afternoon to get used to it.

Look, when we get back to the hotel,

I'll wire Mac Brewster.

- Mac Brewster?

- My advertising man.

I'll tell him that you're to be the Townsend girl.

And when he meets you, I can imagine what he'll say.

I wonder.

- This high altitude doesn't agree with me.

- It might interest you to know that we've landed.

- Yeah. Well, here we are in Miami, safe and sound.

Well, sound anyway.

- Sorry, Mr. Brewster, Mr. Townsend hasn't come back yet.

- Okay, thanks.

- Will I introduce you to Townsend as a silver girl

and get the expression on his face?

I wouldn't miss that for world.

Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you

that idol of the airwaves with his idol chatter, Jack Benny.

Hello again.

This is Jack Benny talking.

And thanks very much, Don,

for one half of that introduction.

You can have the last half back.

- Very clever fellow.

I've always liked him.

- Oh really? I've never cared for him.

Oh, well, everyone, to his own taste.

There's one thing about me.

- Tired?

- Mm, it's been a marvelous day.

- Marvelous for me too.

- You mean it?

- Why can't we have a lot more?

365, a year just as marvelous.

What? No words?

I'd like to teach you three little words.

Pop into my mind every time I see you.

Paula, darling.

-Alan, dear, please.

- Good day, Mr. Townsend.

- Park your car?

- Yeah, thanks.

How long will it take you to West Virginia?

- Oh, about 10 minutes, Alan.

- Oh, I'll be an old man by that time.

Everything's been lovely up to now hasn't it?

- Yes, but don't worry about it.

Something will probably happen.

- Excuse me.

Brewster, just the man I want to see.

- Mr. Townsend, I've been looking for you.

- Cynthia, what are you doing here?

- Hello, I flew down with Mac.

- I didn't know you two knew each other.

- Well, I didn't know you two knew each other.

- Just a minute.

- Paula.

Ms. Wentworth. Mr. Brewster, may I present Ms. Monterey?

- How do you do?

How do you do, Mr. Brewster?

- Oh, Ms. Monterey, how do you do?

- Alan told me about you.

- Well, you must tell me about someone sometimes.

- Oh, would you girls excuse us.

We'd like to talk a little business.

- Oh yes, if you really must.

- Pardon, we won't be very long.

- Have you known Alan long? - Have you known Alan long?

- Well, Brewster, I think our search

for the Townsend girl is over.

I'm glad to hear you say that.

- Beautiful, isn't she?

- The minute I laid eyes on her, I knew she was the girl.

- Oh, I'm very happy about it.

-So am I.

- You know that girl is perfect.

She has charm.

- Distinction.

- Beauty.

- Ancestors.

- Hey, do you feel that way about her too?

- I really do.

Hey, you mind if I call you Mac?

- I'd be a little hurt if you didn't, Alan.

Well, I'll have those contracts made up right away.

-And send them right over to Ms, Monterey.

- I certainly will.

- Who's Ms. Monterey?

- Why, that's the name of the girl

we've been talking about all the time.

Or you might forget her name, but never her face.

Paula Monterey, the Townsend girl.

- The Townsend girl? - Yeah.

See you later, Mac.

- He has to hit me again.

- Well, have you two men settled all the affairs of the world?

- Yes, some very agreeably. - Yeah.

- Will you excuse us while we dress?

Then we'll all have dinner together.

- Well, that should be fun. - Come on, Paula.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

- Well, what happened?

- Nothing much.

The bottom just dropped out of everything.

- Oh, I see.

Alan doesn't want me as his model.

- Sure he does.

He's crazy about you.

There's a little complication. That's all.

There's always a complication.

- Of course. It's Ms. Monterey.

- It's not Ms. Monterey. Not yet.

Something has to be ironed out,

and I've gotta do the ironing.

- Oh, please, Mac.

- Now don't give up the ship, Cynthia, and trust me.

I'll be right back.

Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Do I know what I'm doing?

- Ladies and gentlemen,

we will now introduce Russell Patterson's puppets

starring Mr. Esquire.

- How do you do?

- Well, my dear fellow, spring is here,

and all that sort of thing, don't you know?

- Come in.

- Hello, darling.

- Hello.

- Thanks for not spoiling everything.

We're not out of the woods yet, Ms. Monterey.

Say just how did you land that Townsend contract?

- Why? He offered it to me.

- But why?

Did you make love to him?

All in a spirit of good, clean competition, of course.

-Yes, I did.

- Well, that was smart.

I don't think I'm jealous.

I always turn green this time of year.

After all, we are going to be married.

- No, we're not, Mac.

- We're not?

Oh, is it Townsend?

- Alan, what is this, all these advertisements?

- Oh, it belongs to Mac Brewster.

We're going through it to get ideas for our campaign.

- Why how amusing.

- What, Mother?

- I was sure I'd seen Ms. Monterey in a skiing costume.

Of course I have.

Here she is posing in the sand.

- And that's why Lois remembered her

playing tennis.

And Craig was so right.

He had seen Ms. Monterey in her undies.

She's a professional model.

And very clever too.

- Very clever indeed.

- But I have thought it over.

I've been doing nothing else.

Mac, I'm going to tell Alan everything.

But I can't tell him now.

You'd lose the contract.

- What's a million dollars?

Just everything.

- Look, Paula, would it make it any easier

for you if I told him?

- Mr. Alan Townsend's room, please.

- Come in.

Good evening, Mr. Townsend.

I mean, Alan.

- Hello, Alan.

- Would you kindly explain this?

- Well, just a minute, Alan.

You must know that-

- Nevermind. All I want now is the truth.

Is this you?

- Why yes.

- And you are a professional model.

- Yes, and I'm not a socialite.

I work for a living.

My name's not Monterey.

It's Paula Sewell.

And here's more of the truth.

I wanted that Townsend girl contract

more than anything else in the world.

I was determined to get it

even though you didn't want a professional model.

- Then you came here under an alias,

tricked an introduction, and made yourself

as attractive as you possibly could, huh.

Even had me believing that it was me you like.

Not what I could do for you.

Say, were you a part of this plot?

- No, he didn't even know I was here.

He's done nothing to lose your account, Alan.

- Don't worry, he won't.

I don't usually break my word.

Regarding the model, my first decision is correct.

I picked Ms. Monterey.

- Sewell.

- What difference does it make?

You know what I want?

I'll send you a check the first thing in the morning.

I'll be gone for some time.

I guess that's about all.

- Too bad, Paula. I'm sorry.

- Sorry? Why?

I got what I came for, didn't I?

- Stella, Stella?

I wanna make a statement for the press.

The Artist and Models Ball tonight.

It is tonight, isn't it?

- Yes, it's tonight.

- Hello Mac. Hello, Stella.

- Hello.

- Oh, hello. - Cynthia.

- Hello, Cynthia.

How are you?

- Oh, I was never happier in my life.

- Good.

- I'll be back for that statement tomorrow.

- That's fine, Stella. The ball is tonight.

- Don't you think I fairly shined today?

- Well, a little powder will fix that up.

- Oh, but I feel like shining.

For the first time in my life, I'm really happy,

and you're responsible.

-I?

- Oh, Mac, you have so much to learn about in life.

- I guess so.

My father was always gonna have a talk with me,

but he kept putting it off.

- Darling, don't be so blind.

You know I'm crazy about you.

- About me?

- Of course.

Haven't we been together almost every night?

- Well, yes.

Well, I didn't think your intentions were serious.

- Of course you did.

- Well, wait a minute.

Cynthia, I didn't give you any encouragement.

- Yes, you did.

You let me kiss you.

- Oh, well.

Well, that's because I was carried away by the music.

I struggled a little.

- Telling you you're the dearest thing in the world.

Will you marry me?

- Cynthia, this is so sudden.

- Will, will you, will you?

What's the matter, dear?

- Well, Cynthia, I'm so happy.

Yeah, I've gotta make a note of our engagement.

- Well, I have a splendid idea, Mac.

We'll announce our engagement tonight at the ball.

- Yeah.

- Goodbye, dear.

I have a million things to do.

- Good morning, Mac.

-And a very good morning it is, Paula.

- Oh, I'm sorry to break your happy mood with business,

but do I look okay in the dress?

- Alright, what's it for?

- It's the last of the Townsend Silver ads.

- Oh, by the way, did you know that Alan was back in town?

- Yes. What difference does that make to anyone?

- Well- - Well, today's the last

of the Townsend girl, and I'm glad of it.

Oh, I don't know.

I guess I'm tired, Mac.

- Oh, well, maybe you've been working too hard, Paula.

Is there anything I can do for you?

I mean, do you want an aspirin or an ice cream soda or?

- Mac, you're the dearest friend I've ever had,

and I mean it.

You're always so gentle and considerate.

- Well, it's my nature. I can't help.

- No, I'm not joking.

I never appreciated you before.

Well, I know I've disappointed you and hurt you,

but, darling, if you still want me,

I'd love to become Mrs. Mac Brewster.

- You mean that- - Yes.

- This is a fine time to tell me.

- Oh no, don't keep me waiting, Mac, please.

I know it's embarrassing.

- Yes, I'm practically married now.

- And you mean it's yes?

- Look, Paula, nobody has to know anything about this.

I mean, for a while anyway.

- Of course. I want everybody to know.

We'll announce it at the ball tonight.

Goodbye, sweet.

I have a million things to do.

- Pardon me? Who is that girl?

- Sandra Storme.

England's most famous model.

- Oh.

- Nice raw bird.

- What do you think of it?

- Fair.

A good likeness, but very reminiscent

of Russell Patterson style.

In fact, it's a dead steal.

Who did it?

- I did.

- Oh, young man.

You'll have to stop imitating Patterson

and originate a style of your own.

- My name is Russell Patterson.

- Oh, this is quite a coincidence, isn't it?

I mean, the same style, same name.

- Do you know these other illustrators?

John La Gatta, Arthur William Brown,

McClelland Barclay, Peter Rono.

- Oh, I know 'em all.

How do you do, Mr. Rono?

- I'm John La Gatta.

Well.

Oh, how do you do, Mr. Rono?

- Arthur William Brown.

Yes, I never forget a face.

Oh, well, Mr. Rono.

- McClelland Barclay.

- That's what I said.

- Hello, Mac.

Nice party tonight, isn't it?

- Yeah, sure is.

- Well, I'll see you later.

- Thanks, old man.

So who was that?

- Peter Arnold.

Oh, a nice fellow. I'll have to meet him sometime.

Well say, who's that chap working over there?

- Rube Goldberg.

He's the original surrealist.

- Oh, I have to get over there. Get a load of him too.

Hello?

- Hello.

- My name is Mac Brewster.

- Mine's Goldberg, Rube Goldberg.

- Oh, yes, I know your comic strip, the "Lala Paloozas."

- Thanks, old man.

I'll do as much for you sometime.

- Isn't she beautiful?

- I'll say.

- Oh, do you mind if I look over your shoulder?

- No, I'd love it.

It annoys me terribly.

- Thanks.

Oh, I don't wanna appear critical.

But haven't you got her left arm

just a little bit out of place?

- That's her foot.

- Oh, yes. That explains the shoe.

- Well, it's all finished now.

What do you think of it?

- You mean to say this is her?

- Yes.

I saw her up there and brought her down here.

- Well, the trip certainly didn't do her any good.

-A good likeness really. I'm proud of it.

- You mean to tell me that that's art?

- No, no, that's Sam, that's Art with the beard.

- Oh, oh.

And what connection has he with the model?

- That's her grandfather. I know him well.

- He's an eccentric old fellow, isn't he?

He cuts his own beard.

- He's mad at the barber.

- Oh, well, I can understand that.

Yeah, I don't blame him all.

And look, this bird cage over here, that.

- That's not a bird cage.

- Oh yes. Of course not.

There's a bird in it.

- You know. Mr. Brewster,

I'd like to do your picture sometime.

Well, that would be nice.

You mean, well, if you did my picture,

would I look like that?

- You look like that already.

- I do, don't I? I do.

Well, so long.

- So long.

- You know, you and I must go out together sometime

and have our heads examined.

- Oh, why bring them along?

- Oh, that's right.

We'll have more fun alone.

- Goodbye, Mr. Brewster.

- Goodbye, Mr. Goldberg.

- Frankly, mother, I can't see why

you insisted on coming here tonight.

- Well, merely common courtesy.

Certainly should congratulate Paula Sewell on being queen.

After all she is the Townsend girl.

- You mean she was the Townsend girl?

- Well, and I do wish you'd have a talk with her.

- She's all together too cold-blooded for me.

- Say, hold that view, Mr.

You've got Paula all wrong.

- Possibly.

- Positively.

I've been living with her for three years.

I know all about her.

What she thinks and what makes her tick.

- We won't discuss the matter.

Any girl that deliberately planned what she planned.

- Oh, I've gotta straighten you out on that.

Paula planned a lot of things,

but she never planned to fall in love with you.

That was sort of a sad accident.

- Alan, where you going?

- Zeke, what you think about all these here beautiful gals.

- I ain't a saying.

♪ It was on a Wednesday night ♪

♪ The moon was shining bright ♪

♪ They robbed the Glendale train ♪

♪ And the people they did say for many miles away ♪

♪ Twas the outlaws Frank and Jesse James ♪

♪ Jesse had a wife to mourn all her life ♪

♪ Their children they are brave ♪

♪ Twas a dirty little coward that shot Mr Howard ♪

♪ They laid Jesse James in his grave ♪

♪ It was in this very place that they had a little race ♪

♪ For they shot Captain Sheets to the ground ♪

♪ Jesse went to his rest with his hand up on his breast ♪

♪ The devil will be upon his knee ♪

♪ He was born one fine day in the county of Clay ♪

♪ And he came from a solitary race ♪

♪ Jesse had a wife to mourn all her life ♪

♪ Their children they are brave ♪

♪ Twas a dirty little coward that shot Mr Howard ♪

♪ And laid Jesse James in his grave ♪

♪ Twas a dirty little coward that shot Mr. Howard ♪

♪ And laid Jesse James in his grave ♪

- Well, you'd think some people would get an original idea?

Hmm, enough Romeo's here to start a beach club.

- Oh look, there it is.

- Don't tell me.

It's Little Lord Fauntleroy.

- Let's go find a balcony.

We're not gonna have any fun here.

- Hello, Mac.

- Good evening, Ms. Wentworth. - Hello.

- Say, listen, Mac, I'm doing the announcing tonight.

Just how do you want your gag handled?

- The gag?

- Well, yes. I've been instructed to announce

your engagement to Ms. Wentworth at 11:30.

- Oh, yes, yes, surely.

-And then at the stroke of midnight,

I'm to announce your engagement to Paula Sewell.

- Oh, that, that, well, look, I do that about 12:30,

I think would be.

I meant to tell you about that, dear.

- Yes, I know, dear. You've been so busy.

- Yes.

- Neither of those announcements will be necessary.

- Thank you. - Okay.

- No, neither? - No.

Paula and I talked the whole thing over this afternoon.

We understand each other perfectly.

- Well, that's fine.

- Now how about me?

- Oh, we understand you too.

Well, that clears me up.

Now, which one of you two am I gonna get, if any?

- Wouldn't you like to know?

- Yes. Anytime before the wedding.

And it better be you.

- Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please.

We now offer for your enjoyment

A musical sketch entitled "Public Melody Number One,"

with Martha Ray and Louis Armstrong.

Let her go.

♪ Lock your door, draw your blinds ♪

♪ Why you in danger of the strangest kind ♪

♪ Grab a train, board a plane ♪

♪ Spain would even be a safety zone ♪

♪ You're at a spot ♪

♪ Don't think you're not ♪

♪ You're gone, do gone, the rhythm you got ♪

♪ Let me tell you why ♪

♪ Then you're on your own ♪

♪ There's a new kind of enemy on the loose today ♪

♪ It's the ghost of the melody when it comes your way ♪

♪ It sort of sneaks right up upon you ♪

♪ And kind of puts the finger on you ♪

♪ So look out for Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ If it should be your luck that it meets you face to face ♪

♪ If your feet start truckin' all around the place ♪

♪ Don't you call on Hoover's G-men ♪

♪ They're just a lot of A-B-C men ♪

♪ When it comes to Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ Out cold, a bundle of joy ♪

♪ Still adjourn, a teachers pet ♪

♪ Get a gun, but only a toy ♪

♪ Compared to notes shot from a hot cornet ♪

♪ So get under cover, you rhythm rascals, and run ♪

♪ Hide out until he passes ♪

♪ He's out to get the masses ♪

♪ Look out for Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ Now get under cover, you cats, you better run ♪

♪ Oh, you dog ♪

♪ There ain't no use of hidin' ♪

♪ I'm going to thank you ridin' ♪

♪ Look out for Public Melody ♪

♪ Come on, men ♪

♪ Go on again ♪

♪ Let's start writing every rhythm then ♪

♪ Well, watch your step ♪

♪ Why you know his rep ♪

♪ Look out for Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ You're in the know ♪

♪ Come on now, give us the low ♪

♪ Where does he come from and where does he go? ♪

♪ Well, here's the first thing that a G-man ought to know ♪

♪ When the cat's got called after midnight ♪

♪ Why, you can bet all the tea in Harlem ♪

♪ There's a jam tonight at Joe's ♪

♪ There's a jam tonight at Joe's ♪

♪ There's a jam tonight at Joe's ♪

♪ When it's early in the morning ♪

♪ And they put on the evening cloak ♪

♪ Why it's the harvest to what in Harlem ♪

♪ There's a jam tonight at Joe's ♪

♪ Well, where are you going, Moe? ♪

♪ There's a jam tonight at Joe's ♪

♪ There swinging away ♪

♪ Cute infectious table tip ♪

I Take the kip, get outta the way ♪

♪ I made a note, shot from a hot cornet ♪

♪ Get under cover, you rhythm rascals, and run ♪

♪ Look out for Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ What's the use of hidin' ♪

♪ Gonna take us ridin' ♪

♪ Oh, baby don't you got to know ♪

♪ So look out for Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ Not two, but one ♪

♪ Oh, one ♪

♪ Now look here Mr. Hoover and your G-men ♪

♪ Why you just a lot of NBC-men ♪

♪ When it comes to Public Melody Number One ♪

♪ At home a bundle of joy ♪

♪ Still a teacher's pet ♪

♪ Scared of guns, it's only a toy ♪

♪ Compared to notes shooting outta a hot cornet ♪

♪ Run ♪

♪ There ain't no use to hidin' ♪

♪ He's going to take us ridin' ♪

- Look out.

♪ Out ♪

♪ Look out ♪

♪ Out ♪

♪ Look out ♪

♪ Out ♪

♪ Now look out for Public Melody Number One ♪

- I distinctly remember doing this before.

A girl and I had just fallen into a swimming pool.

- Alan, what are you doing here?

- Prince Charming is claiming his bride.

- At midnight, Cinderella changes into Paula Sewell.

- But Paula Sewell is the Townsend girl.

And my name's Townsend.

- Well.

- Well, from now on, Romeo, we'll play on the same balcony,

just the two of us.

- For a stock.

- Hey boss, we got it.

A great idea for the show next year.

The greatest artist model board ever seen.

- It's colossal.

- Tremendous. - Gigantic.

- Stupendous.

- Let's go, dear.

This is where I came in.