All language subtitles for Upper.Middle.Bogan.S03E04_English

[car lock beeps]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Come on home
Coming home baby now ♪

♪ You know I'm waitin' here for you
I'm coming home now real soon ♪

♪ You've been gone
Coming home baby now ♪

♪ You don't know what I'm gonna do ♪

♪ I'm coming home I know I'm overdue ♪

♪ Since you went away
expect me any day ♪

♪ now real soon ♪

♪ I'm coming home and nevermore to roam ♪

♪ Baby tell me you're coming home
Baby I'm for sure coming home ♪

♪ I'm coming home come on home ♪

Oi, come with me and pick
up Shawn from the station.

Nah.

I thought he was staying
up there 'till tomorrow.

He's already missed one day of school.

So?

Come on!

I need you to run in while I double park.
I'm not paying for parking.

Amber, Younis and I are working.

And...a hundred.

Go, go, go, go!
[exhales]

-Perfect, babe.
-Working?

Amber, they are working on getting
some new PT clients with their...

Summer Crunch campaign.

It's a great way to get people signed up.

-What is?
-Insta.

We're posting photos of
Younis's torso for four weeks.

Every time we do a post,
we get, like, six sign-ups.

#beyourself

#trainhard #sixpack #eightpack

#gymlife #gym #life

#photo.

Hashtag do you think
you have enough hashtags?

I haven't finished yet.

Don't forget #shredded.
That went off yesterday.

-She knows all the social marketing tools.
-[laughs]

Yeah, she'll attract
a lot of tools with that list.

-Mum, do you fancy a ride?
-[explosion]

[Wayne] Got the sound working, babe!

Whoo!

-[explosion]
-Dad!

-Dad!
-[switches off TV]

Jack still has a fat head.

It's either the keystone
or the aspect ratio.

What the fuck is this?

It's your mum's and my
little present to each other,

a home theatre package
that threw in two massage chairs.

Such a good bundle.

We were already loving
binge watching Sons of Anarchy,

but this has taken it
to a whole new level.

Of debt!

It's a no payment for 85 months deal,
isn't it, Dad? I knew it.

I heard you singing
that bloody jingle the other day.

Relax! It's, like, five years
before we get slugged. Try it.

Shiatsu or traditional Thai?

I thought you were picking Shawn up.

Yeah, I'm going.
I can't wait to hear how he went.

Such a wicked festival.

Is it? Something else
for the bucket list, Jules.

It must be nice to have
so much free time. See ya.

No, no, no, Amber, what I meant was
I don't think you're picking him up.

What's wrong? What's happened?

Nothing. I nabbed a lift with Ashley.

Hey.

We met on the first night of the festival.

What happened to,
"Mum can you pick me up from the station"?

Sorry. Forgot to text.

-Ashley, do you want to come in?
-Sure.

Don't touch my lettuce cups.

-I miss this manliness when I'm at work.
-[mobile phone rings]

Oh! It's Mum calling from the winery tour.

I wonder how she's travelling
with Pat. Hi, Mum. Mum.

[Margaret] Stop guzzling the sangiovese.

You not supposed to swallow it.
It's a tasting.

-Sounds like it's going well.
-[laughs]

I think she pocket-dialled me.

It's the Barossa Valley,
not the Bavarian beer hall.

[phone beeps]

I would like to see Margaret
in a Bavarian beer hall,

mainly because it's in Bavaria.

[sliding door opens, shuts]

You did not. You did not.

No, do not send me pictures.
No, I do not want to see.

Georgia got a double bed.
All my friends have one now.

Why do I not have one?

How was the alumni afternoon?

Life-changing.

There was this amazing woman,
Josephine Cantonucci.

Oh, I remember her.
She was a couple of years below me.

She's younger than you?

God, she's achieved so much.

Not only has she studied for eight years,

she pioneered performing
neurosurgery through the nose

in this country,

rather than cutting through the skull,

which is so brilliant for so many people,

the UN have funded five training
clinics across south-east Asia.

But get this... she's done a TED Talk.

But did she help with Fruity Friday

during her daughter's
primary school years?

I've never been interested
in medicine before

but I think she really changed my mind.

I wonder if I could do
my work experience with her.

[scoffs] You've never thought
about doing medicine?

-No.
-Really?

-Nup.
-Even though I'm in medicine?

[phone beeps]

Oh, well, I think I mean,
you know, actual medicine.

You know,
the doctors doing the actual surgery,

not just anaesthetist stuff.

Georgia didn't get a double bed.

She got a queen! That is so unfair!

This house is so last century.

Personally, I think Fruity Friday
really had an impact.

Ah, so I'm kind of heading back
via the coast to the western districts.

Ooh, could I grab one of those?

Nan, she's 21.

So, yeah, this is kind of on
my way through to the farm.

Ashley lives on a farm, Pop.

-Chicken or the beef?
-[all laugh]

Biodynamic vegetables.

It's a holistic approach to agriculture.

It's a Steiner thing.

-Rudolf Steiner?
-Is he on Insta?

I'm vegan.

Right.

She doesn't eat animal products.

Yeah, no, sorry.

Cheese comes from the moo moo cow.

-You fuckin', fuckin' idiot.
-Amber, that's a double.

Ashley,
you should check that beer's organic.

What's your star sign?

Oh, Mum, Ashley's amazing
with star signs and tarots--

-I'm a little bit psychic.
-Really?

I think I'm a bit like that too.
I always know when it's gonna rain.

-Ow!
-Did you know I was gonna hit you?

-I need to pee.
-Oh, yeah.

Just down a bit, then left.

-You're going out with her?
-No.

Then what was that
when you showed her the toilet?

Is that just how
vegans say thank you?

Ashley's not into labels, Mum.

Except for holistic, biodynamic,
psychic, Steiner--

She's not into relationship labels.

Ashley says we're all just
floating particles--

Fuck me.

Well, your floating particles need to
get together and do their homework.

-Mum...
-A, she is too old for you.

B, she has a puppy paw neck tatt.

C, that is a Kia Rio fuckin' hatchback.

D, she lives 300 k's away.

-[toilet flushes]
-Hey, guys, I was thinking--

Basin's just back a bit
if you're wanting to wash your hands.

Ah, hey, Shawny,

there's this ashram I really want to
check out in Melbourne.

Is it OK if I crash here for a few days?

-Absolutely.
-Absolutely not.

Course you can stay, love.
We've got a spare room upstairs.

HDMI?

Excuse me?

Was it four, Kayne?

Why did you say she could stay?

-[Kayne] For what?
-Sons of Anarchy off the USB.

[Kayne] HDMI2.

Four is The Walking Dead
via the kitchen laptop!

Because Shawn wants her to stay.
It'll be nice for him.

You don't get to decide
whether a woman

who just climbed down from a tree
gets to stay with my son.

Of course I do. It's my house.

-It's our house.
-No, it's my house.

Your house is out the back,
and actually...

[laughs] ...that's my house too.

Well, good luck cooking for a vegan.

-[engine revs on screen]
-Got it!

Whoo! Go! Let's go!
Come on, come on, come on!

Hey! I googled Jose, and guess what?

We were at The Alfred at the same time.

But in different departments.

Oscar, where are all my lettuce cups?

You said I should graze on
healthy foods before dinner.

That was dinner! This is san choy bow.

Great. Now we'll just have choy.
Or bow.

OK, fine.

We're all going to share this one cup.

Oh, did I tell you that
I bumped into Roger today?

Who's Roger?

Professor Roger Chung, the surgeon.

Yeah? Any relation to
Professor Wang Chung?

'Cause we'd all have fun in his surgery.

Alright, you get the small torn bit
because you ruined dinner.

No, Roger and I did that 11-hour
operation last year.

Oh, my God, Josephine told us
she once did a 22-hour operation

separating conjoined twins.

Is Josephine still a bit chubby?

-[mobile phone beeps]
-I don't know, I didn't notice.

-Anyway, who cares?
-No, no-one. Not me.

No, no, I thought she had that
illness that made her a little...

No, ha-ha. That was someone else.
No, she was really nice.

She still is. She's also more
than that. She's, like...cool.

She's just got this really chill outlook,

which is what I think makes her
such an amazing doctor.

Oh, Oscar!

I said put on the hoisin sauce.

I prefer Chow Down Hog Barbecue.

You can't just change
continents like that.

It throws out the whole meal.

[mobile phone beeps]

[groans]

-Sista problems?
-Sister? You're a sister now?

With an A! 'Sista' with A.

Georgia thinks it's hilarious
that I'm not allowed a double bed,

so she just keeps sending me photos.

Well, we never said that
you couldn't have a double bed.

Yes, you did.

No, we said that it was up for discussion.

You said, "You can have a double
bed when you move out of home."

-Dad said that.
-I'm pretty sure we both said that.

I'm fine with you having a double bed.

Oh, my God. I'm so telling Georgia.

Yep, I know. Fixing it.

So...just to clarify,
you can have a double bed,

but you will need to buy it yourself.

So that you have the whole
rites of passage experience.

And because I've seen what happens
to young people with bad backs.

You will need to have
a very good quality one,

so you'll need to buy that yourself.

But that will take forever
with my pocket money.

-[mobile phone rings]
-[gasps] This will cheer you up.

Nanny Margaret
keeps pocket-dialling me. Hi, Mum.

♪ Hey there Georgy girl ♪

♪ Swinging down the street so fancy free ♪

♪ Nobody you meet could ♪

[pat off-key]
♪ Ever see the loneliness there... ♪

Pat, you're dreadfully off
with that harmony.

Why do you always get to be
Judith Durham?

Because you sound deep like Athol Guy.

[laughs]

[Margaret] ♪ Inside you hey there-- ♪

-Don't be mad with me.
-You know I can't afford a bed.

Well, you might just need to get a job.

-[Josephine] Thank you.
-[applause]

In today's TED Talk,
I'm going to share a story

about how I got up the noses
of a pair of conjoined twins.

Speaking of jobs,
we need someone in my rooms

when you have work experience.

Tracey's going on holidays so we
need someone to answer the phones.

How would you like
to come to work with me?

See a doctor in action.

Will I get paid?

Well it's more a work experience rather...

Yes, you will... You'll get paid.

[laughter]

Did you get almond milk?

It's in that bag.

Under the big packet of bullshit.

-Ashley doesn't drink normal milk.
-Well, whose fault is that?

I don't drink wine

but I don't make you go to Kentucky
to get me bourbon.

I didn't ask you to go to Kentucky.
I asked you to go to Coles.

It's chill, babe.

Hey, Amber, you didn't tell me
what star sign you were.

Virgo.

-Thought so. Makes sense.
-Really?

Because I'm a Capricorn.

Do you want almond milk?

Knock yourself out.

I've never made it from scratch.

Thanks, Amber! Awesome idea.

Now, there is also
some risk and danger

associated with
a general anaesthetic,

which is why
it is such an important job.

-[man] What danger?
-Oh, not much.

Very little, in fact.

My point is, my role in surgery...

Is to put me to sleep.

[laughs] If only it were that simple.

It's not simple?
Why, what's wrong with me?

-[office phone rings]
-No, no, sit down, Eddy.

-We need to reassure Mr... Mr...
-Filovic.

Filovic, exactly - that everything
is going to be fine. Of course.

And that he is in
the most expert of hands.

I know. My surgeon's the best.

Yes, well, obviously that's important.

But the role of an anaesthetist
in an operation like yours...

[office phone rings]

which is highly specialized
and intricate...

-Having my adenoids out?
-Mum, I need to answer the phone.

I guess my point is, when you go
under a general anaesthetic,

your life is in my hands--

Bess, there's no-one on the front desk.

-Do you know where Edwina is?
-Doctor, I'm coming. Sorry.

-So my life is in your hands...
-Oh, you'll be fine.

Sign this. See you Wednesday.

[loud gunfire, explosions,
car engine revving]

Mum!

[car engine revving]

-Mum! Do you want to go get--
-[turns TV off]

Do you want to get mani pedis?
My shout.

I can't. We have to finish this off.

We got a cease and desist letter
from the internet provider

so we have to finish all of season seven.

-You could just get Netflix.
-Well, that isn't free.

Yeah, the fine won't be free either.

Which is why we've got to hurry up.

[gunfire, engines revving]

-#workout.
-Got it.

-#gymlife.
-Got it.

-#crazyabs.
-Got it.

Hey, Brianna, my shout for mani pedi.

-#fireplace.
-Fireplace?

Have you seen how many fireplaces
there are on Instagram?

Plus, fireplace equals hot.

That is pure genius. You are a genius.

#genius #fire #place...

Alright, alright, alright!
I took the last three muesli bars!

But only because
they were peppermint choc chip

and you hate them.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Getting the car ready
for next month's meet.

Want some help?

No.

Good. 'Cause I have a heap
of book work to catch up on.

Pretty intense, huh?
Welcome to the public system.

Or Ground Zero, as we call it.

Can I get long macchiato, one ristretto,
and two lukewarm soy cafe lattes, please?

Warts and all.

How different is this from sitting
behind the desk in my rooms, right?

-Not very. I'm not doing anything.
-You are working with me.

You're not doing anything

other than walking around
these corridors really fast.

Are you pretending
to be on Grey's Anatomy?

-What's your problem?
-I don't have a problem, Edwina.

But this country's public health
system certainly does.

And so does the guy in
the next room waiting for surgery.

And I am just responding to
both of them as quickly as I can.

Hey, Bess, are you early?

To save lives? Don't think so.

Just here to prep my girl. Huh?

-Sista.
-Prep for what?

[Bess] So what happened?
He fell off a roof?

-Yep.
-Yep.

Ooh. That leg looks nasty.

Can you see that, Edwina? Ooh!

Lot of blood.

I'll go and work in the kitchen, shall I?

[both giggle]

[laid back music plays loudly]

What the fuck is that?

It's trip-hop.

They're headliners at the festival.

My stereo, my Maroon 5 playlist.

Well, then we're lucky
it's playing from Ashley's stereo.

[both laugh]

-Turn to me.
-[camera clicks]

-Hey.
-Crunch it!

Tighter, tighter, tighter!

-Nice.
-What is that smell?!

-Fish oil. For the glisten.
-Ohh!

-Crunch it!
-Fuck.

[sighs deeply]

[loud explosion and music]

Do you reckon that's loud enough?

Good, isn't it?
Kayne put in another subwoofer.

[engines revving]

You feel that? [laughs]

When he revs it,
it goes right through you!

Oh-ho! There's another one!
[laughs]

What are you doing?

Checking for trip-hop, soft porn
photography, motorcycle outlaws.

I don't know what that means.

[sighs] All clear.

Sweet.

[angle grinder whirrs]

[loud explosions, gunfire, trip-hop music]

[engines revving, angle grinder whirring]

[noise stops]

[dogs bark]

Did we not pay?
Why are you asking me? Amber!

Did we change electricity companies again?

No, remember, Amber said that

if that guy rang the doorbell
during dinner again,

she'd ram the contract up his jacksy
every month for 24 months.

Where's Mum?
Did she forget to pay?

Don't be so rude.
Of course I didn't forget to pay.

Oh, must have shorted, then.

Please, can we switch
to three-phase, Mum?

I can only weld
once you've all gone to bed.

-I turned off the power.
-Why?

I wanted your undivided attention.

It's actually a very good way
of getting it.

I want my house back.
I want my own space.

There is no room in this house for me!

Well, maybe it's time
to do something about that.

-Are we extending?
-We don't need to extend.

We just need the hanger-oners
to clear out!

I don't think it's them
who need to move out, Amber.

So, Kath,
with the muscle laceration in the leg,

I guess you're just going to suture
epimysium to epimysium?

[Kath] Mmm.

Mmm. It's hard, though, isn't it,
with lacerated tendons,

whether to know to repair partially
or just leave them altogether.

Uh-huh.

Would you consider
a biomechanical repair?

Maybe a harvest of tissue?

-What is wrong with you?
-Nothing.

Can we do what we usually do
and talk about The Bachelor?

[trays bang and clatter]

[loud music, angle grinder whirring]

Should've said something sooner if
you hated having me living here so much.

-I'm not the one who hates it.
-I don't hate it.

You only moved back in
because you broke up with Troy

and maybe somewhere,
you thought that...

when you moved back out,
it would be with Troy again.

Now that's not gonna happen,
you gotta do it on your own.

Sweetie...

You gotta move out. And move on.

Is that why you said Ashley could stay?

Maybe.

I'm scared.

You know, I never guessed that in the
whole two years you were living here.

It's OK. It's OK.

There's someone out there for you.

You're not gonna find them
living in the bungalow.

[Wayne] You should go on Pinder.

It's called Tinder, Dad.

You're getting mixed up with Pinterest.

Pinterest - is that the gay one?

You want a bite?

[mobile phone rings]

-Mum.
-Bess, what's wrong?

-You called me.
-No, I didn't.

You've accidentally
FaceTimed me again.

Rubbish.
That's how they hike up the bills.

I just picked up my phone
to check the time. I can't sleep.

-Pat snores like a Mack truck.
-[loud snoring]

Is that Edwina?

She hit her head after she fainted
in the operating theatre.

She's not concussed.

She's just tired because I made her
do the night shift with me.

Why?

Because I want her to think
that my job is inspiring.

-Of course it is.
-Well, she doesn't think so.

She only thinks that
Josephine Cantonucci is inspiring.

Ooh. Is she the conjoined twins doctor?

Not you too?!

-[Pat snores]
-She's a teenager, Bess.

She doesn't have to approve of you.

I know.

No, you don't know.
You made her do the night shift!

-[snoring continues]
-I have to go.

I need to roll Pat over again.

[mobile phone beeps]

-Still asleep?
-I am sorry.

Stop apologizing.

Who knew Eddy
would be so squeamish

after seeing a severed leg?

-I knew. Edwina's a wuss.
-[Edwina] I am not.

-How you going, sweetie?
-Fine. And I'm not a wuss.

You would have fainted too.
So would Dad.

Uh-uh, I don't know about that.

You fainted when you got a
blood nose at Oscar's soccer match!

-Classic ref moment, hey, Dad?
-That was more from shock.

Caspian had no right
to take that free kick.

-I was still setting up the ball...
-Blood everywhere.

Yeah, and you mysteriously disappeared

to the toilets for half an hour.

Mum was the only one who could handle it.

-Yeah, but she's trained.
-Exactly.

She's highly trained
and we're all fainters.

I didn't faint. I hid in the toilets.

Splitting hairs, mate.

She has studied to know
how to keep people alive

in an operating theatre.

Do you realize what that means?

No. Why don't you elaborate
for Oscar's benefit?

Her job is to concentrate
on that person's consciousness.

Not to be focused on the blood
like I was or you were.

It's a high-level skill, you idiot.

Don't call your brother an idiot.

He, like a lot of people,

has a slightly simplistic view
of my profession.

And I have learnt not
to be upset by ignorance.

So, do you think
you'd like to be an anaesthetist?

Do I still get paid?

Oi! You're not taking that with you.

-What am I supposed to sleep on?
-[Wayne] This!

[both] Happy housewarming!

Which credit card did you use?

No, we drew down on our super.

How much was the bed?

Well, we didn't have a lot of super.

We thought you needed something
to help get things started.

-You know, if Tinder works out.
-Mum!

[Wayne] That's why we got you the best!

Memory foam, tested by NASA

and used by patients
with bed sores in Scandinavia.

Just stick to the NASA stuff, love.

Hey, Kayne,
can you get this on the truck?

Freeze...and clench. Yes!

We're doing cars this month.

Gonna miss you, you idiot.

Ohhhh...it's gonna be great.
We'll see each other all the time.

You sure you're right to bring
that bookcase over?

Totes.

Hey, maybe we keep the old bed for
the spare room in the new house

for when Ashley comes to stay.

Mum? Mum!

OK! Let's do this!

[upbeat music playing]

So, I've decided I'm not
going to spend the money

I earned working with you on a bed.

Really?

Yeah. I'm gonna save that money.

Priorities, huh?

Yes. And also,
I'm getting Amber's old one.

Amber's old what?

A queen fit for a princess.

-Wait, what?
-No, don't ruin your toes, love.

We've got it. [groans]