All language subtitles for Seven.Stages.To.Achieve.Eternal.Bliss.2020
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,948
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:08,490 --> 00:00:11,391
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
3
00:00:11,393 --> 00:00:13,959
♪ All the dark
goes down the drain ♪
4
00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:17,699
♪ Again and again and again ♪
5
00:00:19,768 --> 00:00:22,735
♪ When darkness finds you
you'll be free ♪
6
00:00:22,737 --> 00:00:25,572
♪ Follow the lights and you
will see ♪
7
00:00:25,574 --> 00:00:29,479
♪ The instantaneous eternity ♪
8
00:00:30,946 --> 00:00:34,817
♪ The instantaneous eternity ♪♪
9
00:00:36,851 --> 00:00:40,653
Life is a journey
and as we move along the path,
10
00:00:40,655 --> 00:00:44,024
we move closer to the light
that awaits us.
11
00:00:44,026 --> 00:00:47,693
But I say, "Why wait?
Why not launch yourself
12
00:00:47,695 --> 00:00:50,599
into that instantaneous
eternity right now?"
13
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:55,034
It's, like, let's say you love
peppermint ice cream.
14
00:00:55,036 --> 00:00:57,470
And they say, "Well, you can
have peppermint ice cream,
15
00:00:57,472 --> 00:01:01,540
but only if you wait
like 75 or 80 years." Hm.
16
00:01:01,542 --> 00:01:03,610
But then you look
and there's that whole tub of,
17
00:01:03,612 --> 00:01:06,880
pile of peppermint ice cream,
the hog-and-dance stuff,
18
00:01:06,882 --> 00:01:10,383
the expensive stuff,
right there in the freezer.
19
00:01:10,385 --> 00:01:12,719
What are you gonna do?
You're just gonna look at it?
20
00:01:12,721 --> 00:01:15,856
No. You're gonna eat it, right?
21
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,990
And that's what death is.
22
00:01:17,992 --> 00:01:21,697
It's eating that peppermint
ice cream on your terms.
23
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:27,701
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
24
00:01:27,703 --> 00:01:30,436
♪ All the dark
goes down the drain ♪
25
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:35,675
♪ Again and again
and again ♪
26
00:01:35,677 --> 00:01:38,645
♪ When darkness finds you
you'll be free ♪
27
00:01:38,647 --> 00:01:41,113
♪ Follow the lights and you
will see ♪
28
00:01:41,115 --> 00:01:46,019
♪ The instantaneous eternity ♪
29
00:01:46,021 --> 00:01:49,121
♪ Oh ooh ooh ♪
30
00:01:49,123 --> 00:01:53,126
♪ Ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ♪
31
00:01:53,128 --> 00:01:56,862
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪♪
32
00:02:44,712 --> 00:02:48,982
I say to you, ignore the
teachings of the sacred Storsh
33
00:02:48,984 --> 00:02:50,983
at your peril!
34
00:02:50,985 --> 00:02:53,519
My child, you need to be saved.
35
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:56,790
The sacred Storsh
can give you bliss,
36
00:02:56,792 --> 00:02:58,524
joy and blessings to you...
37
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,125
- Can you put s-some music on?
- Change your story.
38
00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:01,761
- I, I like...
- Change your story!
39
00:03:01,763 --> 00:03:03,062
I like whatever you like.
40
00:03:03,064 --> 00:03:05,798
You must change your story!
41
00:03:21,782 --> 00:03:25,584
- Hey!
- Oh, my God! Hi, smiley!
42
00:03:25,586 --> 00:03:27,186
- Hey, smiley.
- Hi! Mwah.
43
00:03:27,188 --> 00:03:28,822
Look, look.
44
00:03:28,824 --> 00:03:30,823
Look what I did. It's us.
45
00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:33,692
Oh, you made
your own toy surprise.
46
00:03:33,694 --> 00:03:35,127
Yeah, well,
there wasn't one in the box.
47
00:03:35,129 --> 00:03:37,731
Cute. Okay, that's great.
Well...
48
00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:39,031
Hey, how was your first day?
49
00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:40,633
Oh, it was, it was really good,
actually.
50
00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,135
Yeah, I think everything's gonna
be really fun,
51
00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:44,070
everyone seems nice
and, um, they...
52
00:03:44,072 --> 00:03:46,305
It seems like it's gonna be
really creative.
53
00:03:46,307 --> 00:03:48,642
You will never guess
what campaign I'm doing.
54
00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:50,175
Oh, I'm not good at guessing,
Claire.
55
00:03:50,177 --> 00:03:51,678
No, you can do it. Okay, okay.
56
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,947
One, two, three.
57
00:03:53,949 --> 00:03:55,180
I don't know.
58
00:03:55,182 --> 00:03:57,250
- I-it's Rainbow Oats.
- No way!
59
00:03:57,252 --> 00:03:59,318
- I love this bird!
- I know! I know!
60
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,020
I actually said it's my
boyfriend's favorite cereal.
61
00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:03,123
That's so great! Rainbow Oats?
62
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:05,225
I know, I know.
Well, how was your day?
63
00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:06,927
Oh, God, I had the best day.
64
00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:07,994
- Yeah?
- I had such a great day.
65
00:04:07,996 --> 00:04:09,629
Well, what, what did you do?
66
00:04:09,631 --> 00:04:13,132
Well, some very serious progress
on the job front.
67
00:04:13,134 --> 00:04:14,334
You finished
your resume?
68
00:04:14,336 --> 00:04:16,702
- Ye... No.
- Ye...
69
00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:18,271
No, nothing like that.
70
00:04:18,273 --> 00:04:20,910
Um, no, but progress up here.
71
00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:24,243
Well, you know, it, um...
72
00:04:24,245 --> 00:04:25,878
It all starts with a thought.
73
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:26,848
Mm-hmm.
74
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,951
Can I have a Rainbow Oat?
75
00:04:31,252 --> 00:04:32,654
Yeah.
76
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,002
Hey, should we do
that thing?
77
00:04:47,836 --> 00:04:50,103
- Yeah, let's do this.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
78
00:04:50,105 --> 00:04:51,605
All right.
79
00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:53,740
- You ready? Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
80
00:04:53,742 --> 00:04:55,244
- Hm, that went well.
- Mm.
81
00:04:57,178 --> 00:04:58,911
- I'm gonna start.
- Do it.
82
00:04:58,913 --> 00:05:01,081
- Okay, ready?
- Uh-huh.
83
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,015
♪ Do you like me? I suppose ♪
84
00:05:03,017 --> 00:05:04,851
♪ Draw me like a French girl
Jack and Rose ♪
85
00:05:04,853 --> 00:05:06,786
♪ Sun goes up
and you milk that cow ♪
86
00:05:06,788 --> 00:05:08,654
♪ Slap that udder
on the big bad cow ♪
87
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,156
♪ Watch that cow
drink all that grass ♪
88
00:05:10,158 --> 00:05:12,392
♪ Sometimes a donkey's
called an ass-k ♪
89
00:05:12,394 --> 00:05:14,159
♪ Me a question I'll tell you
what I'm thinking... ♪♪
90
00:05:14,161 --> 00:05:16,863
Don't, uh... No, no,
every night, every night!
91
00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:19,899
- Aah, you were so close.
- Ah! Oh! At the donkey's ass.
92
00:05:19,901 --> 00:05:21,200
Yeah, the donkey
ask me a question
93
00:05:21,202 --> 00:05:22,868
and I'll tell you
what I'm thinking.
94
00:05:32,747 --> 00:05:36,082
- I know that smile.
- What smile?
95
00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:38,218
The smile,
less-than-a-smile smile.
96
00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:39,355
Hm.
97
00:05:40,956 --> 00:05:42,290
Can you tell me what's going on?
98
00:05:44,225 --> 00:05:45,759
- Come on.
- No.
99
00:05:45,761 --> 00:05:47,894
- Don't do that.
- No, it's fine.
100
00:05:47,896 --> 00:05:50,029
- You're forcing me.
- No.
101
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:51,731
I'm going to do it.
102
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:53,265
You're forcing my fingers
of truth.
103
00:05:53,267 --> 00:05:55,735
- No. No.
- It's happening.
104
00:05:55,737 --> 00:05:57,202
- No. No.
- I'm going to.
105
00:05:57,204 --> 00:05:58,738
- Here I go! I'm going to!
- No, no, Paul!
106
00:05:58,740 --> 00:05:59,973
- Paul, no... No, no...
- I'm going to...
107
00:05:59,975 --> 00:06:01,341
I'll punch you in the balls.
108
00:06:01,343 --> 00:06:02,808
- I'll punch you in the balls.
- Don't do that.
109
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,713
Don't do it.
110
00:06:11,353 --> 00:06:14,887
Do you think we did
the right thing moving here?
111
00:06:14,889 --> 00:06:17,223
Yeah,
of course we did.
112
00:06:17,225 --> 00:06:18,757
I mean, look at us. We're...
113
00:06:18,759 --> 00:06:21,360
This is like you're,
you're in your dream job
114
00:06:21,362 --> 00:06:24,163
and we're in this
radical apartment,
115
00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:25,998
we just started eating pizza.
116
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,068
Yeah.
117
00:06:29,403 --> 00:06:33,173
Why do you think
the rent is so cheap?
118
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,740
It's like you always say,
you know,
119
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:37,310
"Sometimes you just get lucky."
120
00:06:37,312 --> 00:06:38,314
Hm...
121
00:06:40,048 --> 00:06:41,149
Yeah.
122
00:07:03,038 --> 00:07:06,206
- Oh, God.
- Do you yield?
123
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,810
What?
124
00:07:08,877 --> 00:07:10,243
Do you yield?
125
00:07:10,245 --> 00:07:13,880
- No.
- What is your book?
126
00:07:13,882 --> 00:07:17,082
I...
What?
127
00:07:17,084 --> 00:07:19,284
Ah! The Book Of Iowa.
128
00:07:19,286 --> 00:07:22,522
I select verse 23!
129
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:24,824
"And the police
had no solid lead.
130
00:07:24,826 --> 00:07:28,428
The investigation being further
hampered by the suspect's sketch
131
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:29,896
of a tall Indian man!"
132
00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:32,966
- What?
- Yes! I win!
133
00:07:52,086 --> 00:07:54,320
Ah. Oh, what...
134
00:07:54,322 --> 00:07:56,789
No!
135
00:07:56,791 --> 00:07:58,390
- Do you yield?
- Yes!
136
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,327
- That's a cake knife.
- So what?
137
00:08:02,329 --> 00:08:04,163
Oh, God! Oh, God!
138
00:08:04,165 --> 00:08:06,166
Claire!
139
00:08:06,168 --> 00:08:08,200
Claire! Claire! Let me in!
140
00:08:08,202 --> 00:08:09,469
Oh, God! Oh, God!
141
00:08:09,471 --> 00:08:12,204
Oh, God! Oh, my God!
142
00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:17,243
No! Oh, God, God!
143
00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:18,344
Oh, God!
144
00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:24,851
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
145
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:27,252
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
146
00:08:27,254 --> 00:08:30,055
Oh, no! Oh, no!
147
00:08:30,057 --> 00:08:32,291
What do we do?
148
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,998
Okay, Wallace, enough!
149
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,600
I-i-it's photographed.
He's standing still.
150
00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:45,037
Goddammit!
That flash gives me migraines.
151
00:08:45,039 --> 00:08:48,074
You need 900 pictures?
Are you makin' a 3D model?
152
00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:53,046
All right, I'm gonna need
to take your statements.
153
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:54,180
Just tell me everything
that you know
154
00:08:54,182 --> 00:08:57,083
in your own words, Mr., uh...
155
00:08:57,085 --> 00:08:59,219
Boyd. Paul Boyd.
156
00:08:59,221 --> 00:09:00,386
And you're Mrs. Boyd?
157
00:09:00,388 --> 00:09:02,155
Oh, no,
we're, we're not married.
158
00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:05,557
Claire and I need
to get our things sorted.
159
00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,028
Mm.
160
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:20,573
All right. You kids have fun.
161
00:09:20,575 --> 00:09:24,576
Wait a second. A guy just
killed himself in our bathtub.
162
00:09:24,578 --> 00:09:27,446
- Yeah.
- Why?
163
00:09:30,552 --> 00:09:33,453
From time to time,
members of a deranged cult
164
00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:35,021
break and enter
into this dwelling
165
00:09:35,023 --> 00:09:36,522
in order to commit self-murder.
166
00:09:36,524 --> 00:09:38,123
Did the super
not go over this with you
167
00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:39,224
when you looked
at the apartment?
168
00:09:40,261 --> 00:09:42,494
Knock, knock! Hi!
169
00:09:42,496 --> 00:09:44,631
Hello, Beatrice.
You're looking wonderful.
170
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:46,632
And you are looking great,
Bloyce.
171
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:48,100
Stop it.
172
00:09:48,102 --> 00:09:51,237
- Oh, here you go.
- Oh, what's this?
173
00:09:51,239 --> 00:09:54,140
Oh, I always buy my tenants
a carrot cake
174
00:09:54,142 --> 00:09:57,576
for their first tub death.
It's just a little tradition.
175
00:09:57,578 --> 00:10:01,013
- "Their first tub death?"
- Save me a piece.
176
00:10:01,015 --> 00:10:04,050
I'm making fish sticks later.
177
00:10:04,052 --> 00:10:05,919
Look, honestly, these cultist
178
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,320
t-they're basically harmless.
179
00:10:07,322 --> 00:10:09,991
Their only goal
is an exit strategy.
180
00:10:12,326 --> 00:10:14,459
Are they that different?
What am I doing?
181
00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:16,128
I really do have to go.
182
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,297
Hey! You can't just leave.
183
00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:20,599
We're totally exposed here.
184
00:10:20,601 --> 00:10:22,435
You're totally exposed?
185
00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:26,104
I'm the one that has to clean up
this mess night after night.
186
00:10:26,106 --> 00:10:28,574
Do you think this is how
I planned to spend my evening?
187
00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:31,710
I'm planned to be home
working on my screenplay.
188
00:10:31,712 --> 00:10:34,180
I just got a note that the
detective character doesn't have
189
00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:36,449
enough conflict.
I'm a detective.
190
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:39,017
It's a screenplay
about a detective.
191
00:10:39,019 --> 00:10:40,486
There's conflict.
192
00:10:40,488 --> 00:10:43,355
This industry is bullshit.
193
00:10:43,357 --> 00:10:47,694
The point is,
instead, I'm here.
194
00:10:47,696 --> 00:10:50,432
More often then you guys,
by the way.
195
00:10:52,232 --> 00:10:53,401
Good luck.
196
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:57,036
What do we do now?
197
00:10:57,038 --> 00:10:59,372
If I were you, I'd move!
198
00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:13,219
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
199
00:11:13,221 --> 00:11:16,222
Look on the bright side.
200
00:11:16,224 --> 00:11:18,694
Maybe now we can try Winnipeg.
201
00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:15,614
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
202
00:12:15,616 --> 00:12:18,217
♪ All the dark
goes down the drain ♪
203
00:12:18,219 --> 00:12:22,057
♪ Again and again and again ♪
204
00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:27,093
♪ When darkness finds you
you'll be free ♪
205
00:12:27,095 --> 00:12:29,661
♪ Follow the lights
and you will see ♪
206
00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:33,701
♪ The instantaneous eternity ♪
207
00:12:35,302 --> 00:12:39,071
♪ The instantaneous eternity ♪
208
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:56,692
Mm...
209
00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:21,216
Claire.
210
00:13:24,652 --> 00:13:27,189
Come to me, my child.
211
00:13:35,663 --> 00:13:37,633
Claire.
212
00:13:44,639 --> 00:13:47,142
Yeah, that's it.
213
00:13:54,481 --> 00:13:56,617
Ah, yeah.
214
00:14:25,879 --> 00:14:29,549
Wake up! Wake up, Paul!
Wake up!
215
00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:31,584
- Come on.
- I'm up, I'm up, I'm up...
216
00:14:31,586 --> 00:14:33,953
I was up all night
and I had a revelation.
217
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:35,555
- You did? What is it?
- Yeah.
218
00:14:35,557 --> 00:14:37,823
We aren't going anywhere.
219
00:14:37,825 --> 00:14:39,324
- We're not?
- No.
220
00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:41,326
- We're not?
- No, because we're in LA.
221
00:14:41,328 --> 00:14:43,228
It's like
the land of, of movie stars
222
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,930
and fancy cars, you know?
223
00:14:44,932 --> 00:14:46,866
There's like five places alone
on this block
224
00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:49,201
where you can get kombucha.
225
00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:50,802
What's that? What is kombucha?
226
00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:53,272
I don't even know.
A-and that's my point.
227
00:14:53,274 --> 00:14:55,273
You know, 'cause if
we're gonna be LA-ians,
228
00:14:55,275 --> 00:14:57,776
we-we gotta,
we gotta adapt, right?
229
00:14:57,778 --> 00:14:59,878
Yeah, yes, yes, I do know,
230
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,848
what you, like a, mm,
like an adaptation.
231
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:05,251
Yes, and we-we're,
we're not just gonna run away
232
00:15:05,253 --> 00:15:07,920
because some idiots wanna spill
their guts in our bathtub.
233
00:15:07,922 --> 00:15:10,956
No, no. This is our dream,
this is our destiny.
234
00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:13,559
Yes, I don't wanna run, Claire.
235
00:15:13,561 --> 00:15:16,228
I'm, I'm... Like you always say,
I'm lazy.
236
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:19,397
We are strong
and we are, we are adaptable
237
00:15:19,399 --> 00:15:22,300
and we are,
we are Los Angelenos.
238
00:15:22,302 --> 00:15:25,771
Oh, gosh, dang it. I love you.
239
00:15:25,773 --> 00:15:28,406
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
240
00:15:28,408 --> 00:15:29,775
I love you, Claire.
241
00:15:29,777 --> 00:15:31,743
- Let me go back to bed, though.
- Oh, no.
242
00:15:34,414 --> 00:15:37,782
Claire, this meeting started
15 minutes ago.
243
00:15:37,784 --> 00:15:41,753
I am so sorry, some guy broke
into our apartment last night
244
00:15:41,755 --> 00:15:43,522
and then committed suicide
in the bathtub.
245
00:15:43,524 --> 00:15:45,023
I-I think he was like,
part of some cult.
246
00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:46,525
The cult of Storsh.
247
00:15:46,527 --> 00:15:49,295
You're living in
the Tabula Building? Why?
248
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:51,464
Great location,
it's close to freeways.
249
00:15:51,466 --> 00:15:54,267
Moving on. Meegan Nordheim.
250
00:15:54,269 --> 00:15:58,036
You all know her, star
of the reality show Meal Ticket,
251
00:15:58,038 --> 00:15:59,972
stands to inherit
half a billion dollars
252
00:15:59,974 --> 00:16:02,974
from insecticide king,
Armund Nordheim,
253
00:16:02,976 --> 00:16:06,344
who is currently 96 years old
254
00:16:06,346 --> 00:16:08,381
and counting.
255
00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,882
And she is now
running for congress
256
00:16:10,884 --> 00:16:12,917
because that's a thing now.
257
00:16:12,919 --> 00:16:14,552
The woman's a monster.
258
00:16:14,554 --> 00:16:16,555
Yeah. She wants an increase
in kill shelters.
259
00:16:16,557 --> 00:16:18,623
I mean, who campaigns
on killing puppies?
260
00:16:18,625 --> 00:16:21,060
She's retained us at the rate of
50,000 a month.
261
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,296
- She has my full support.
- Our country needs her.
262
00:16:23,298 --> 00:16:25,297
Yeah, well, she was up
in the polls as of last night,
263
00:16:25,299 --> 00:16:27,465
but all that's gonna change
because this morning
264
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:31,403
the Los Angeles Tatler ran
this series of paparazzi photos
265
00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:34,640
showing Ms. Nordheim
enjoying the company
266
00:16:34,642 --> 00:16:39,612
of 20-year-old personal trainer
slash actor, Dake Wharton.
267
00:16:39,614 --> 00:16:42,848
- Oh, my God.
- Is that a squash?
268
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:45,350
Look, this one's easy. It's a
classic redirect.
269
00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,552
She repents, goes to church
every Sunday,
270
00:16:47,554 --> 00:16:51,089
does a couple of guest sermons,
talks about rebirth through God.
271
00:16:51,091 --> 00:16:52,624
Somethin' there. Tony.
272
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:53,892
I mean, I say,
we blame the dude.
273
00:16:53,894 --> 00:16:55,795
Nordheim
was manipulated
274
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:59,864
by some Hollywood pretty boy
who preys on middle-aged women
275
00:16:59,866 --> 00:17:01,767
in order to extort money
for sex.
276
00:17:01,769 --> 00:17:03,572
Okay, she is the victim here.
277
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:10,508
- Claire?
- Uh... Um...
278
00:17:13,013 --> 00:17:14,814
When I was in eight grade
279
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:18,651
Ben Barnes, he drew private
parts on my notebook,
280
00:17:18,653 --> 00:17:20,619
but I-I put stickers
over top of them
281
00:17:20,621 --> 00:17:21,953
and I turned them into unicorn.
282
00:17:21,955 --> 00:17:24,458
I actually still have it,
it's kinda cool.
283
00:17:30,030 --> 00:17:31,532
Moving on.
284
00:17:47,949 --> 00:17:50,815
- Do you yield?
- No.
285
00:17:50,817 --> 00:17:51,883
W-wh-what's your book?
286
00:17:51,885 --> 00:17:54,053
I'm not, I'm not part of this.
287
00:17:54,055 --> 00:17:55,921
You're not here
to use the bathtub?
288
00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:57,390
No, well, I mean,
I use the bathtub.
289
00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:59,057
- It's my apartment.
- You live here?
290
00:17:59,059 --> 00:18:00,926
That's, that's disgusting.
291
00:18:00,928 --> 00:18:02,795
This is our house.
Me and Claire.
292
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:03,895
Get out, get out.
293
00:18:17,545 --> 00:18:19,178
Oh, hello, Barry.
294
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:21,479
Danielle, you're looking well.
295
00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:24,482
Please spare me
the pleasantries.
296
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,084
Do you yield?
297
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:30,422
I do not!
298
00:18:30,424 --> 00:18:32,658
- What's your book?
- The honorable Robert Perkins.
299
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:35,494
The book
of the honorable Robert Perkins.
300
00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:38,730
I choose verse 60!
301
00:18:38,732 --> 00:18:40,165
"Despite having shown
302
00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:41,967
no remorse for these brutal
303
00:18:41,969 --> 00:18:45,603
and cold-blooded murders,
it is my regret that the state
304
00:18:45,605 --> 00:18:49,040
must refile these charges
due to improper warrant
305
00:18:49,042 --> 00:18:52,577
for the search and seizure of
evidence relating to the murder
306
00:18:52,579 --> 00:18:54,513
of Ms. Elizabeth Watson!"
307
00:18:54,515 --> 00:18:56,949
- Watkins!
- No!
308
00:18:56,951 --> 00:18:58,551
Watkins!
309
00:18:58,553 --> 00:19:00,585
It's kins! Dammit!
310
00:19:00,587 --> 00:19:04,722
Who knows the book?
I know the book, Barry!
311
00:19:04,724 --> 00:19:06,725
I can tell you this.
312
00:19:06,727 --> 00:19:08,096
This is not over.
313
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,197
Now that is how it's done.
314
00:19:11,199 --> 00:19:12,698
What w-was that?
315
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:13,932
The challenge,
316
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:17,603
and next talent.
317
00:19:17,605 --> 00:19:20,738
What I Did Over Spring Break
by Danielle Carter.
318
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:24,809
"This summer, my mom and
step-dad took us all to Denmark.
319
00:19:24,811 --> 00:19:28,113
We went to Legoland
and it was really cool.
320
00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:31,115
There was a giant dragon
made from Legos
321
00:19:31,117 --> 00:19:34,487
and they serve vanilla pudding
in the cafeteria.
322
00:19:34,489 --> 00:19:37,722
My favorite thing about Legoland
was the hotel.
323
00:19:37,724 --> 00:19:40,226
The bed was made
from giant Legos
324
00:19:40,228 --> 00:19:43,528
and, uh, they serve pancakes
for breakfast.
325
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:46,097
In conclusion,
Legoland is a very good place
326
00:19:46,099 --> 00:19:48,033
to go for your spring vacation.
327
00:19:48,035 --> 00:19:50,201
I recommend it highly
328
00:19:50,203 --> 00:19:52,738
for friends and family alike."
329
00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:55,173
That's great, that's,
seriously, that's a,
330
00:19:55,175 --> 00:19:57,543
that's a really nice
piece of writing.
331
00:19:57,545 --> 00:19:59,210
Oh, I did... I got an A on it.
332
00:19:59,212 --> 00:20:01,980
- Did you? Oh.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
333
00:20:01,982 --> 00:20:06,751
Oh, well. Time for me to achieve
eternal bliss.
334
00:20:09,789 --> 00:20:12,091
Oh, shit!
335
00:20:12,093 --> 00:20:13,625
I forgot my knife.
Do you have a knife?
336
00:20:13,627 --> 00:20:15,561
- A knife to kill yourself with?
- Yeah, yeah.
337
00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:17,129
Well, I'm not gonna,
I don't want your blood and guts
338
00:20:17,131 --> 00:20:18,631
all over one of my knives.
That's gross.
339
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:20,132
That's what dishwashers are for.
340
00:20:20,134 --> 00:20:21,566
Then I'm gonna think about what
341
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:22,834
you did with it
every time I use it.
342
00:20:22,836 --> 00:20:23,936
Well, just put it in
343
00:20:23,938 --> 00:20:25,136
amongst all the other knives
344
00:20:25,138 --> 00:20:26,805
and then
you wouldn't even remember.
345
00:20:26,807 --> 00:20:28,239
Then I-I'm gonna think about
that with all my knives.
346
00:20:28,241 --> 00:20:29,975
Well, th-throw it away then.
347
00:20:29,977 --> 00:20:31,844
So now I'm giving you a knife?
348
00:20:31,846 --> 00:20:34,880
No. Is there anything else
I can provide you with?
349
00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:38,750
Maybe like a spoon
to scoop your eyeballs out
350
00:20:38,752 --> 00:20:41,754
or maybe a cheese grater
to shave off your nipples?
351
00:20:41,756 --> 00:20:44,289
Jesus! I don't appreciate
this kind of talk.
352
00:20:44,291 --> 00:20:46,292
Well, I don't appreciate
a complete stranger
353
00:20:46,294 --> 00:20:50,194
doing a suicide
in my bathtub. Ah!
354
00:20:50,196 --> 00:20:52,131
We haven't unpacked
the knives yet.
355
00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:55,167
But you do have a screwdriver!
356
00:20:55,169 --> 00:20:58,202
No! No!
357
00:20:59,839 --> 00:21:03,741
Stop it! Claire! Help! Help me!
358
00:21:05,112 --> 00:21:06,844
- Oh, God!
- Oh!
359
00:21:06,846 --> 00:21:08,646
- Oh, God.
- Oh!
360
00:21:08,648 --> 00:21:10,915
What the fudge? You stabbed me!
361
00:21:12,252 --> 00:21:14,652
Oh, my God!
362
00:21:14,654 --> 00:21:16,988
- Oh, right in the spine.
- Oh, my God!
363
00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:18,289
Why did you shove her
like that?
364
00:21:18,291 --> 00:21:20,859
- She was attacking you!
- No, she was...
365
00:21:20,861 --> 00:21:22,694
She was trying to kill herself!
She's a cult member.
366
00:21:24,765 --> 00:21:26,164
Stop screaming!
367
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,165
Ah! So loud!
368
00:21:27,167 --> 00:21:28,734
Stop screaming!
369
00:21:37,612 --> 00:21:39,681
- Oh, God.
- Ah!
370
00:21:40,914 --> 00:21:43,382
He's never gonna believe us.
371
00:21:43,384 --> 00:21:47,186
- Who?
- Th-that Detective Cartwright.
372
00:21:47,188 --> 00:21:48,621
- He's never gonna believe us.
- Why?
373
00:21:48,623 --> 00:21:50,154
- Why wouldn't he believe us?
- Uh...
374
00:21:50,156 --> 00:21:52,658
- Uh, look around.
- I mean...
375
00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:55,294
The screwdriver in her back and
there's blood on the wall and...
376
00:21:55,296 --> 00:21:57,895
- Oh, my God! You're right!
- Oh, God!
377
00:21:57,897 --> 00:22:00,265
You're right!
What, what are we gonna do?
378
00:22:00,267 --> 00:22:01,734
- Tell us what to do, Claire!
- I don't know.
379
00:22:01,736 --> 00:22:02,901
- Tell us what to do!
- I don't know!
380
00:22:02,903 --> 00:22:03,969
Just let me think, let me think,
381
00:22:03,971 --> 00:22:05,339
let me think, please.
382
00:22:11,412 --> 00:22:12,846
Change the story.
383
00:22:18,853 --> 00:22:21,319
This is how we found her.
384
00:22:21,321 --> 00:22:24,288
Yeah, she totally committed
self-murder in the bathtub.
385
00:22:24,290 --> 00:22:29,128
She stabbed herself in the back?
386
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,796
I know. Right?
387
00:22:31,798 --> 00:22:34,298
This is the sloppiest tub death
I've ever seen.
388
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,101
Yeah, 'cause how many times
do you get to practice
389
00:22:36,103 --> 00:22:38,303
your own suicide?
390
00:22:38,305 --> 00:22:40,271
Yes, that's actually
a good point.
391
00:22:40,273 --> 00:22:41,974
- 'Cause he gets, he gets...
- Just in one shot.
392
00:22:41,976 --> 00:22:43,042
Yeah.
393
00:22:46,313 --> 00:22:49,213
Here comes Wallace on the
comedy bus five minutes late.
394
00:22:49,215 --> 00:22:50,382
That's how humor works.
395
00:22:50,384 --> 00:22:51,917
It's an involuntary reaction
396
00:22:51,919 --> 00:22:52,918
when you find something funny.
397
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,286
You can't fake it after you hear
398
00:22:54,288 --> 00:22:56,625
two people laughing, you child.
399
00:23:05,432 --> 00:23:07,900
You've been unpacking.
400
00:23:07,902 --> 00:23:10,401
You kids planning on staying?
401
00:23:10,403 --> 00:23:12,403
Yeah, uh, you know,
it's a great location,
402
00:23:12,405 --> 00:23:14,773
it's close to freeways.
403
00:23:14,775 --> 00:23:17,276
Really?
404
00:23:17,278 --> 00:23:20,011
Y-you know, that really shows
some backbone.
405
00:23:20,013 --> 00:23:23,915
To be honest, a lot of the
people just leave right away.
406
00:23:23,917 --> 00:23:25,883
That's good.
Y-you're gonna like it.
407
00:23:25,885 --> 00:23:27,419
There is a, um...
408
00:23:27,421 --> 00:23:30,889
There is a nice pizza place
about three blocks up
409
00:23:30,891 --> 00:23:32,290
called Schneider's
410
00:23:32,292 --> 00:23:35,094
and they have a two-for-one deal
411
00:23:35,096 --> 00:23:38,029
where you get a can of Pepsi
for free on weekdays.
412
00:23:38,031 --> 00:23:40,065
I don't know if you guys, uh,
413
00:23:40,067 --> 00:23:43,035
like pizza. Everybody does.
414
00:23:43,037 --> 00:23:45,738
- O-oh.
- Oh, you...
415
00:23:45,740 --> 00:23:49,007
Yeah, I... Well, we...
I have to, I have to work.
416
00:23:49,009 --> 00:23:51,176
I don't know
why you're telling me that.
417
00:23:51,178 --> 00:23:52,911
I have work, too.
Everyone has work.
418
00:23:52,913 --> 00:23:55,279
That's... Uh, why are you
telling me you have work?
419
00:23:55,281 --> 00:23:56,949
- Is it non sequitur?
- Oh, no, I didn't mean...
420
00:23:56,951 --> 00:23:59,418
'Cause I wasn't asking you guys
to hang out with me.
421
00:23:59,420 --> 00:24:01,152
- I'm a police officer.
- Oh, of course.
422
00:24:01,154 --> 00:24:03,488
I'm a detective. I, I work.
423
00:24:03,490 --> 00:24:05,090
Oh, no, I didn't mean...
424
00:24:05,092 --> 00:24:07,125
The job's frankly all I got.
425
00:24:07,127 --> 00:24:10,828
It's, uh... Which is probably
why I caught Storsh.
426
00:24:10,830 --> 00:24:12,463
He did not get away from me.
427
00:24:12,465 --> 00:24:15,767
He got away from a department
with its head up its ass.
428
00:24:15,769 --> 00:24:19,036
I was not the one
asleep at the switch.
429
00:24:19,038 --> 00:24:21,440
You know,
this Storsh character,
430
00:24:21,442 --> 00:24:24,910
i-it's like, a lot of the stuff
in this book makes sense.
431
00:24:24,912 --> 00:24:26,545
You know, I mean,
some of it's crazy, obviously,
432
00:24:26,547 --> 00:24:29,914
but some of it isn't.
Like, okay, for example...
433
00:24:29,916 --> 00:24:32,551
One of the things is being
the best you you can be.
434
00:24:32,553 --> 00:24:33,951
Well, I don't see
anything wrong with being
435
00:24:33,953 --> 00:24:35,086
the best you I can be.
436
00:24:35,088 --> 00:24:37,224
No, the best you you can be.
437
00:24:38,526 --> 00:24:40,258
That's what I said.
438
00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:41,994
Okay. Um...
439
00:24:41,996 --> 00:24:43,562
For example,
here's another really good one.
440
00:24:43,564 --> 00:24:45,363
Uh... Oh, here. Listen to this.
441
00:24:45,365 --> 00:24:48,299
"When one liberates oneself from
the shackles of overthought,
442
00:24:48,301 --> 00:24:50,134
life can truly be free.
443
00:24:50,136 --> 00:24:52,571
Open yourself to your inner will
and close the door
444
00:24:52,573 --> 00:24:54,873
on the addiction
to outside approval."
445
00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:58,844
I mean, this is me at work.
I totally relate to this.
446
00:24:58,846 --> 00:25:00,912
Like, I'm always worried about
what other people are thinking.
447
00:25:00,914 --> 00:25:02,146
I don't even know
what I'm thinking.
448
00:25:02,148 --> 00:25:04,218
This stuff really makes sense.
449
00:25:07,188 --> 00:25:08,987
You know, I'm not smart
like you are, Claire.
450
00:25:08,989 --> 00:25:10,823
Oh, Paul.
451
00:25:10,825 --> 00:25:14,293
But I don't have to be smart
because I've got you.
452
00:25:14,295 --> 00:25:17,129
And-and now that we're casting
off the shackles of overthought,
453
00:25:17,131 --> 00:25:19,398
I swear my most deepest swear
454
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,333
that I'm gonna get a job,
455
00:25:21,335 --> 00:25:23,936
like, as soon as possible.
456
00:25:23,938 --> 00:25:26,604
New city, new Paul, new us.
457
00:25:26,606 --> 00:25:28,907
Oh, Paul.
458
00:25:28,909 --> 00:25:30,942
- I believe in you.
- Oh.
459
00:25:30,944 --> 00:25:32,547
- I believe in you.
- Yeah?
460
00:25:33,614 --> 00:25:36,448
Oh, I love you, my Claire.
461
00:25:45,459 --> 00:25:48,360
Claire, Claire, hi.
So we just got the call.
462
00:25:48,362 --> 00:25:50,429
Nordheim is coming in to see
what we have for the campaign.
463
00:25:50,431 --> 00:25:51,900
- Now?
- Yeah, now.
464
00:25:53,567 --> 00:25:56,003
Ah.
465
00:26:03,611 --> 00:26:06,548
We weren't expecting
Mr. Nordheim.
466
00:26:09,482 --> 00:26:11,251
Oh...
467
00:26:15,489 --> 00:26:18,957
Well, we were thinking,
468
00:26:18,959 --> 00:26:23,027
what if you were to repent.
469
00:26:23,029 --> 00:26:24,196
The religious angle.
470
00:26:24,198 --> 00:26:26,931
- You find Jesus.
- I'm Jewish.
471
00:26:26,933 --> 00:26:30,204
Obviously you did a workup on me
and you already know that.
472
00:26:32,239 --> 00:26:35,039
Okay.
473
00:26:35,041 --> 00:26:36,540
We put a story in the paper
474
00:26:36,542 --> 00:26:39,611
that the young man
with whom you had relations
475
00:26:39,613 --> 00:26:42,480
is actually a con artist
476
00:26:42,482 --> 00:26:44,586
preying on...
477
00:26:49,289 --> 00:26:50,490
Preying on?
478
00:26:51,625 --> 00:26:53,161
Praying...
479
00:26:55,229 --> 00:26:57,465
Tony, why don't you take
this one since it's your idea?
480
00:26:59,133 --> 00:27:02,534
Sure. Uh...
481
00:27:02,536 --> 00:27:07,338
Um, uh... I see sort of like a,
uh,
482
00:27:07,340 --> 00:27:09,540
a basketball player,
but instead of legs,
483
00:27:09,542 --> 00:27:13,612
um, it's got tang threads.
So, like a ro...
484
00:27:13,614 --> 00:27:15,516
Ro...
485
00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:20,651
Okay, I'm gonna speak now.
486
00:27:20,653 --> 00:27:24,523
I am not impressed
with any of this.
487
00:27:24,525 --> 00:27:26,458
And if this is all you have,
I'm going to be
488
00:27:26,460 --> 00:27:30,331
very, very, very disappointed.
489
00:27:35,068 --> 00:27:37,004
I have an idea.
490
00:27:51,518 --> 00:27:54,419
What exactly would
you say your strengths are?
491
00:27:54,421 --> 00:27:58,055
Well, uh, first and foremost,
I am a people-pleaser.
492
00:27:58,057 --> 00:28:00,158
- Pe-people like me.
- Well, I don't like you.
493
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,295
And I have a hard time
seeing how anyone would.
494
00:28:03,297 --> 00:28:04,997
Please, just, sir,
just give me a chance.
495
00:28:04,999 --> 00:28:07,599
Do you even know
what it is we do here?
496
00:28:07,601 --> 00:28:10,602
Y-y-you guys design
roller coasters, right?
497
00:28:10,604 --> 00:28:12,437
Well, you managed
to get that right.
498
00:28:12,439 --> 00:28:15,673
How many years of mechanical
engineering do you have?
499
00:28:15,675 --> 00:28:17,642
No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
Listen.
500
00:28:17,644 --> 00:28:19,443
Listen, I really need this job.
501
00:28:19,445 --> 00:28:21,179
My girlfriend said that
I-I have to get my job thing
502
00:28:21,181 --> 00:28:22,314
sorted or we can never
get married.
503
00:28:22,316 --> 00:28:24,482
- Uh! Your girlfriend?
- Yeah.
504
00:28:24,484 --> 00:28:27,385
You're in here wasting my time
because of your girlfriend?
505
00:28:27,387 --> 00:28:28,487
- No, no, please...
- I'm shocked...
506
00:28:28,489 --> 00:28:30,654
You even have a girlfriend.
507
00:28:30,656 --> 00:28:32,157
I wouldn't be surprised
if she leaves you
508
00:28:32,159 --> 00:28:33,758
by the end of the week because
509
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,661
there is no job for you here
510
00:28:36,663 --> 00:28:38,967
or anywhere in this city.
511
00:28:40,233 --> 00:28:42,433
- No...
- Now get out of my office!
512
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,590
Hi, Paul. Why so glumy, chummy?
513
00:29:09,596 --> 00:29:11,465
I can't get a job.
514
00:29:12,833 --> 00:29:16,067
No one will hire me.
515
00:29:16,069 --> 00:29:18,402
Uh, not after what happened
in Ohio.
516
00:29:18,404 --> 00:29:20,607
What's the what in Ohio, huh?
517
00:29:24,845 --> 00:29:26,411
Okay.
518
00:29:26,413 --> 00:29:28,646
Did you know
that in 33% of marriages
519
00:29:28,648 --> 00:29:30,248
somebody commits infidelity?
520
00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:33,151
And that's only the ones
who admitted, so...
521
00:29:33,153 --> 00:29:36,287
So you were caught having
a little fun on the side.
522
00:29:36,289 --> 00:29:39,290
I'm sure every woman in America
would understand
523
00:29:39,292 --> 00:29:41,759
if you just put it into context.
Yeah.
524
00:29:41,761 --> 00:29:44,662
What context is that?
525
00:29:44,664 --> 00:29:46,331
Let's break the shackles
of approval
526
00:29:46,333 --> 00:29:50,602
and show everyone
it's okay to be the real you.
527
00:29:50,604 --> 00:29:52,703
I made this thing. It's a...
528
00:29:52,705 --> 00:29:54,639
Really, a-all you need to do is
529
00:29:54,641 --> 00:29:58,343
show these, these two pictures
side-by-side
530
00:29:58,345 --> 00:30:00,615
and then simply ask...
531
00:30:03,250 --> 00:30:05,385
"Come on. Wouldn't you?"
532
00:30:09,522 --> 00:30:12,626
"Come on. Wouldn't you?"
533
00:30:13,826 --> 00:30:16,364
Come on. Wouldn't you?
534
00:30:19,900 --> 00:30:21,436
Come on.
535
00:30:23,604 --> 00:30:27,141
Wouldn't you?
I mean...
536
00:30:28,174 --> 00:30:30,241
Come on. Come on!
537
00:30:34,448 --> 00:30:36,280
Come on. Wouldn't you?
538
00:30:36,282 --> 00:30:38,749
- Come on. Wouldn't you?
- Come on. Wouldn't you?
539
00:30:38,751 --> 00:30:40,352
- Come on. Wouldn't you?
- Come on. Wouldn't you?
540
00:30:40,354 --> 00:30:42,754
- Come on. Wouldn't you?
- Come on. Wouldn't you?
541
00:30:42,756 --> 00:30:44,655
♪ Come on wouldn't you? Hey ♪
542
00:30:44,657 --> 00:30:46,458
♪ Come on wouldn't you? Hey ♪
543
00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:47,926
♪ Come on wouldn't you?
Oh yeah ♪
544
00:30:47,928 --> 00:30:49,693
♪ Come on wouldn't you?
Everybody ♪
545
00:30:49,695 --> 00:30:51,363
♪ Come on wouldn't you? Oh ♪
546
00:30:51,365 --> 00:30:52,831
♪ Come on wouldn't you?
Hey... ♪
547
00:30:52,833 --> 00:30:54,332
Pearl, where have you been
hiding this girl?
548
00:30:54,334 --> 00:30:55,933
I love her!
549
00:30:55,935 --> 00:30:58,338
♪ Oh come on wouldn't you?
Hey ♪
550
00:31:01,875 --> 00:31:04,508
This one time last year...
551
00:31:04,510 --> 00:31:07,946
I stayed up really late to watch
The Storage Wars marathon.
552
00:31:07,948 --> 00:31:10,649
It's a really awesome show
because I like stuff
553
00:31:10,651 --> 00:31:12,950
about storage units.
554
00:31:12,952 --> 00:31:14,853
Anyway, I was gonna go to bed,
but then I remembered
555
00:31:14,855 --> 00:31:16,520
that Claire had asked me
to do the laundry,
556
00:31:16,522 --> 00:31:17,922
so I stayed up
for the rest of the night
557
00:31:17,924 --> 00:31:20,191
and did the laundry.
558
00:31:20,193 --> 00:31:22,326
Um, but then, then,
559
00:31:22,328 --> 00:31:23,628
the-the dryer didn't finish
in time,
560
00:31:23,630 --> 00:31:25,263
and I had to go to my job
561
00:31:25,265 --> 00:31:28,266
at the water filtration plant.
562
00:31:28,268 --> 00:31:31,835
And so I just wore
my uniform damp.
563
00:31:31,837 --> 00:31:36,309
But then on my walk to work, um,
I got really, really cold.
564
00:31:38,244 --> 00:31:41,513
And I couldn't stop shivering,
so I stopped at the gas station
565
00:31:41,515 --> 00:31:43,981
and got a Mountain Dew.
566
00:31:43,983 --> 00:31:47,285
And when I got to work, I tried
to heat the Mountain,
567
00:31:47,287 --> 00:31:50,555
Mountain Dew up on a hot plate.
568
00:31:50,557 --> 00:31:52,757
But then the plastic melted
569
00:31:52,759 --> 00:31:56,694
and-and, and then the melted
plastic and the Mountain Dew
570
00:31:56,696 --> 00:31:57,996
got all over my hands
571
00:31:57,998 --> 00:32:01,999
and I knocked over
a can of turpentine
572
00:32:02,001 --> 00:32:03,701
and that mixed
with some oldie peanuts
573
00:32:03,703 --> 00:32:06,403
and then that dripped
into the filtration fluids.
574
00:32:06,405 --> 00:32:10,775
And then the,
the melty Mountain-Dewie plastic
575
00:32:10,777 --> 00:32:13,812
and the, and the mold
and the turpentine
576
00:32:13,814 --> 00:32:16,815
all mixed together and made
some w-weird chemical reaction
577
00:32:16,817 --> 00:32:21,489
and-and then that... that got
into the town's water supply.
578
00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:26,927
And the entire town
lost their hair.
579
00:32:29,395 --> 00:32:30,828
All their hair.
580
00:32:30,830 --> 00:32:33,931
Their arms and their legs
and their eyebrows.
581
00:32:33,933 --> 00:32:38,737
And then... and then
about half the town,
582
00:32:38,739 --> 00:32:40,971
let's say, about 80,000 people,
583
00:32:40,973 --> 00:32:43,941
got rage madness and they
started foaming at the mouth
584
00:32:43,943 --> 00:32:46,311
and attacking each other
for no reason.
585
00:32:46,313 --> 00:32:49,480
And then the whole town
became a war zone.
586
00:32:49,482 --> 00:32:52,517
And we had to stay inside,
but everybody got so hungry.
587
00:32:52,519 --> 00:32:54,619
But then the rage people
stole all the food
588
00:32:54,621 --> 00:32:57,288
and they, they hid it
in a used tire yard.
589
00:32:57,290 --> 00:33:01,625
And they built this massive fort
out of used tires.
590
00:33:01,627 --> 00:33:04,528
It was like a beehive,
and then they stayed in,
591
00:33:04,530 --> 00:33:06,430
in the tire hive
and they wouldn't come out.
592
00:33:06,432 --> 00:33:07,899
And so then all the
593
00:33:07,901 --> 00:33:09,767
then the normal people
burned down the tire hive.
594
00:33:09,769 --> 00:33:12,703
But then the fire,
the fire burned for months
595
00:33:12,705 --> 00:33:15,806
because it was just
millions of used tires.
596
00:33:15,808 --> 00:33:17,842
And then
we all had to go to the woods
597
00:33:17,844 --> 00:33:19,544
and hunt for animals.
598
00:33:19,546 --> 00:33:21,546
But it was the summer
and, and it was so hot
599
00:33:21,548 --> 00:33:24,382
and we all took off
all of our, our clothes
600
00:33:24,384 --> 00:33:26,484
and then we ran out of bullets.
601
00:33:26,486 --> 00:33:29,754
And so there's just a bunch
of hairless naked people
602
00:33:29,756 --> 00:33:32,957
running around the woods,
hunting for deer
603
00:33:32,959 --> 00:33:36,460
and raccoons and squirrels
with our bare hands.
604
00:33:36,462 --> 00:33:39,463
And then, t-then everyone
605
00:33:39,465 --> 00:33:42,801
got really hungry again
'cause we ran out of animals.
606
00:33:42,803 --> 00:33:47,338
And then... then you couldn't
tell the normal people
607
00:33:47,340 --> 00:33:48,940
from the rage people
608
00:33:48,942 --> 00:33:51,809
and-and you couldn't tell
who was who.
609
00:33:51,811 --> 00:33:53,510
And then a militia came
from another state
610
00:33:53,512 --> 00:33:55,546
and they called us all
s-skinners
611
00:33:55,548 --> 00:33:58,415
and th-they hunted us for sport.
612
00:33:58,417 --> 00:34:01,585
And then the National Guard
came to fight the militia
613
00:34:01,587 --> 00:34:04,122
and then the government
sent in the army
614
00:34:04,124 --> 00:34:06,658
to rescue us all
615
00:34:06,660 --> 00:34:09,693
and then when it was all done...
616
00:34:09,695 --> 00:34:12,532
they told me I couldn't go back
to Ohio anymore.
617
00:34:18,572 --> 00:34:20,472
Oh, Paul.
618
00:34:20,474 --> 00:34:22,874
Sounds like you've been
on quite the journey.
619
00:34:22,876 --> 00:34:24,608
But your true journey of bliss
620
00:34:24,610 --> 00:34:26,677
found
on the instantaneous eternity
621
00:34:26,679 --> 00:34:29,613
only begins
when you change your story.
622
00:34:29,615 --> 00:34:32,583
It's time to loose the Os
in Ohio
623
00:34:32,585 --> 00:34:35,019
and say hi to the new Paul,
624
00:34:35,021 --> 00:34:39,057
a Paul who's his own boss,
a Paul who answers to Paul.
625
00:34:39,059 --> 00:34:40,691
To-to me?
626
00:34:40,693 --> 00:34:42,394
It's like
the Book Of Stories says.
627
00:34:42,396 --> 00:34:45,697
The only thing you've to worry
about is what you think.
628
00:34:45,699 --> 00:34:48,532
If there's no job for you,
make your own job.
629
00:34:48,534 --> 00:34:52,472
Be like me. Be free.
Free like a bird, bird.
630
00:34:53,407 --> 00:34:56,608
Free? Like a bird, bird?
631
00:34:57,844 --> 00:34:59,847
Like a bird, bird.
632
00:35:00,780 --> 00:35:01,916
Yeah.
633
00:35:09,021 --> 00:35:10,521
Hey-hey!
634
00:35:10,523 --> 00:35:13,124
- Hey!
- I had the best day.
635
00:35:13,126 --> 00:35:14,958
Me, too.
I had, I have huge news.
636
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,161
Oh, okay. You first.
637
00:35:16,163 --> 00:35:17,896
So I-I slammed the door
638
00:35:17,898 --> 00:35:19,430
on the jackals of over-thoughts.
639
00:35:19,432 --> 00:35:20,831
Just like you said,
I've been so worried
640
00:35:20,833 --> 00:35:22,133
about what everyone else thinks
I should be
641
00:35:22,135 --> 00:35:24,135
that I forgot what I want to be.
642
00:35:24,137 --> 00:35:26,003
Oh, well, that-that's amazing.
What do you wanna be, Paul?
643
00:35:26,005 --> 00:35:28,206
A bird housemaker.
644
00:35:28,208 --> 00:35:30,775
I make birdhouses now.
645
00:35:30,777 --> 00:35:32,844
Come, come, come.
646
00:35:32,846 --> 00:35:35,546
Oh, wow!
You, you made all of these?
647
00:35:35,548 --> 00:35:37,014
Yeah, I'm in the zone.
648
00:35:37,016 --> 00:35:39,016
Look, so this one's
a little pool house, right?
649
00:35:39,018 --> 00:35:40,885
And it's got a little lounge
chair, a little changing room
650
00:35:40,887 --> 00:35:42,720
where the birds can change
out of their red clothes.
651
00:35:42,722 --> 00:35:44,456
A simple
mother-daughter apartment
652
00:35:44,458 --> 00:35:46,090
for when mom gets really old
and she could die,
653
00:35:46,092 --> 00:35:47,691
she could die at any moment.
654
00:35:47,693 --> 00:35:48,860
There's a little
mechanical chair
655
00:35:48,862 --> 00:35:50,228
that goes up and down the
stairs.
656
00:35:50,230 --> 00:35:51,862
This one is modelled
after Chuck E. Cheese,
657
00:35:51,864 --> 00:35:53,597
but I call it Chick E. Cheese.
658
00:35:53,599 --> 00:35:55,233
And there's a little bosspit.
659
00:35:55,235 --> 00:35:57,202
And there's a fake band and then
this one is a honeymoon suite,
660
00:35:57,204 --> 00:36:01,472
it's got a, um, a heart-shaped
bed for getting it on.
661
00:36:01,474 --> 00:36:05,776
Oh, look.
Claire, I almost forgot.
662
00:36:05,778 --> 00:36:08,512
This one's for you.
663
00:36:08,514 --> 00:36:11,081
It's an exact replica scale
664
00:36:11,083 --> 00:36:13,217
of the Full House living room,
season one.
665
00:36:13,219 --> 00:36:16,753
Paul, this is, this is amazing!
666
00:36:16,755 --> 00:36:18,121
You don't have to say that.
667
00:36:18,123 --> 00:36:21,728
No, Paul. No.
I-I'm really proud of you.
668
00:36:23,096 --> 00:36:24,864
- Mm.
- Thank you.
669
00:36:26,932 --> 00:36:28,499
- Tell me about your day!
- Oh...
670
00:36:28,501 --> 00:36:30,200
I can't believe.
I've been so focused on, I...
671
00:36:30,202 --> 00:36:31,802
What about your day?
Take the mic.
672
00:36:31,804 --> 00:36:33,905
Okay.
673
00:36:33,907 --> 00:36:35,907
- Is it on? Okay.
- You...
674
00:36:35,909 --> 00:36:37,675
Um, so, yeah, we had this,
the surprise visit
675
00:36:37,677 --> 00:36:39,978
from a client at work and
everyone was, like, stressed out
676
00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:42,713
and losing their minds, but I
kept my cool and I saved the day
677
00:36:42,715 --> 00:36:44,715
with a stunning pitch
when everyone else had nothing.
678
00:36:44,717 --> 00:36:46,284
- And Pearl even shook my hand.
- That hand?
679
00:36:46,286 --> 00:36:47,519
- Yeah!
- All right!
680
00:36:47,521 --> 00:36:48,920
I knew you could do it!
681
00:36:48,922 --> 00:36:50,755
You know, and I-I just applied
the teachings
682
00:36:50,757 --> 00:36:52,222
of Storsh
and it actually worked.
683
00:36:52,224 --> 00:36:54,691
- Oh, my God. I love Storsh.
- Yeah, I know. Me, too.
684
00:36:54,693 --> 00:36:56,927
I'm so jacked up right now,
I can sell anything.
685
00:36:56,929 --> 00:36:59,264
- Well, sell me a birdhouse.
- How about a pun?
686
00:36:59,266 --> 00:37:02,066
Like, uh, Paul's birdhouse,
when nature Pauls.
687
00:37:02,068 --> 00:37:03,568
That's brilliant!
688
00:37:03,570 --> 00:37:05,036
Okay, here's another...
Uh, uh...
689
00:37:05,038 --> 00:37:07,871
This birdhouse
will never Paul out of a tree.
690
00:37:07,873 --> 00:37:09,673
You gotta slow down. I gotta
write this down. Seriously. I...
691
00:37:09,675 --> 00:37:11,642
Oh, no, no. Don't even sweat it.
I got a million of 'em.
692
00:37:11,644 --> 00:37:13,711
Okay, how about this one?
Uh, uh, Paul's Boyd...
693
00:37:13,713 --> 00:37:15,780
Paul Boyd's birdie
birdhouse building.
694
00:37:15,782 --> 00:37:17,916
- Ah! You know what your name is?
- What?
695
00:37:17,918 --> 00:37:19,249
- Little Ms. Ideas. Yes.
- No.
696
00:37:19,251 --> 00:37:20,552
- You're amazing.
- No, you're amazing.
697
00:37:20,554 --> 00:37:21,719
- We're amazing.
- Yeah.
698
00:37:21,721 --> 00:37:23,054
You know what this means,
Claire?
699
00:37:23,056 --> 00:37:24,923
We're finally
getting our stuff sorted.
700
00:37:24,925 --> 00:37:26,060
Yeah.
701
00:37:42,242 --> 00:37:44,342
It was the '90s,
702
00:37:44,344 --> 00:37:47,744
a different time,
a simpler time.
703
00:37:47,746 --> 00:37:51,081
When a man committed a crime,
you kicked in the door
704
00:37:51,083 --> 00:37:53,721
and worried about paperwork
later.
705
00:37:55,688 --> 00:37:57,655
But like all good times,
706
00:37:57,657 --> 00:37:59,824
that time was a time
707
00:37:59,826 --> 00:38:02,695
whose time has come to an end.
708
00:38:04,965 --> 00:38:08,166
Then on April 2nd,
1997,
709
00:38:08,168 --> 00:38:11,936
I came face-to-face
with pure evil.
710
00:38:11,938 --> 00:38:13,637
Reginald Euclid Storsh,
711
00:38:13,639 --> 00:38:15,907
incited over
two dozen innocent victims
712
00:38:15,909 --> 00:38:17,675
to self-murder.
713
00:38:17,677 --> 00:38:20,612
An adversary so brilliant,
so cunning
714
00:38:20,614 --> 00:38:22,146
that to merely be
in his presence
715
00:38:22,148 --> 00:38:23,880
was to risk total mental
716
00:38:23,882 --> 00:38:26,617
and spiritual annihilation.
717
00:38:26,619 --> 00:38:29,320
"Detective Cartwright,
did you have a warrant
718
00:38:29,322 --> 00:38:31,121
for these proceedings?"
719
00:38:31,123 --> 00:38:34,691
"A warrant? Hell, no,
Your Honor, he's guilty."
720
00:38:34,693 --> 00:38:37,662
"Well, I don't care
how ridiculous or stupid
721
00:38:37,664 --> 00:38:40,365
or unfair it is,
I declare a mistrial.
722
00:38:40,367 --> 00:38:42,233
Case dismissed."
723
00:38:42,235 --> 00:38:44,769
"Your Honor, no!"
724
00:38:44,771 --> 00:38:47,037
So I made my life's goal up
725
00:38:47,039 --> 00:38:49,773
to not give him
a moment's rest.
726
00:38:49,775 --> 00:38:51,909
I dogged him like a dog.
727
00:38:51,911 --> 00:38:55,012
But six months into it,
he committed suicide
728
00:38:55,014 --> 00:38:56,748
in a bath tub.
729
00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,083
Then his followers started
committing suicide
730
00:38:59,085 --> 00:39:00,184
in the same tub.
731
00:39:00,186 --> 00:39:02,220
Cultist after cultist
732
00:39:02,222 --> 00:39:04,655
dove into a porcelain nightmare
733
00:39:04,657 --> 00:39:06,958
of blood and death.
734
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,394
The chief
still has the case open.
735
00:39:09,396 --> 00:39:11,128
And guess who has to clean up
736
00:39:11,130 --> 00:39:13,231
every time one of these morons
737
00:39:13,233 --> 00:39:15,932
commits a see-pa-coo
in the tub?
738
00:39:15,934 --> 00:39:18,903
That's right. Me. Cartwright.
739
00:39:18,905 --> 00:39:20,908
The last good cop.
740
00:39:36,456 --> 00:39:39,023
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
741
00:39:57,811 --> 00:40:00,010
- Hey.
- Mm!
742
00:40:00,012 --> 00:40:03,014
Oh... Oh, come on, man!
743
00:40:03,016 --> 00:40:05,383
- What?
- I booked the tub!
744
00:40:05,385 --> 00:40:07,818
It's been on the schedule
for months.
745
00:40:07,820 --> 00:40:10,354
Okay. Just do it.
746
00:40:10,356 --> 00:40:13,891
Three-way challenge.
Do you yield?
747
00:40:13,893 --> 00:40:15,862
I-I, I don't, I don't know.
Do we?
748
00:40:19,364 --> 00:40:20,865
The invocation.
749
00:40:20,867 --> 00:40:22,733
"In order to get
to instantaneous eternity,
750
00:40:22,735 --> 00:40:24,068
you must pass through
the gateway
751
00:40:24,070 --> 00:40:25,939
chosen by the Holy Storsh."
752
00:40:30,076 --> 00:40:34,177
What? Oh, my God!
You're initiates, aren't you?
753
00:40:34,179 --> 00:40:36,113
Uh, initiates. Yeah.
754
00:40:36,115 --> 00:40:38,449
Actually, do you, do you
think you could teach us
755
00:40:38,451 --> 00:40:40,820
some initiate stuff?
756
00:40:43,989 --> 00:40:47,157
Well, maybe I'll break the rules
this one time.
757
00:40:48,894 --> 00:40:50,461
- Awesome.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
758
00:40:50,463 --> 00:40:54,398
All right, um, you know,
you two guys really lucked out.
759
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,901
It's not every day
that two initiates
760
00:40:57,903 --> 00:41:00,338
get taught their invocation
761
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:02,472
by a level-six instructor.
762
00:41:02,474 --> 00:41:03,907
- Level six?
- Yeah.
763
00:41:03,909 --> 00:41:05,208
Is that, uh,
is that a good level?
764
00:41:05,210 --> 00:41:07,010
Uh, there's only 11 levels
765
00:41:07,012 --> 00:41:10,046
and I'm level six,
which is basically level seven,
766
00:41:10,048 --> 00:41:11,481
so really I'm an eight.
767
00:41:11,483 --> 00:41:14,818
So, yeah,
I'd say it's pretty damn good.
768
00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:17,854
And I specialize
in invocation training.
769
00:41:17,856 --> 00:41:20,224
You could say
I'm kind of a big deal
770
00:41:20,226 --> 00:41:22,025
down at East Side Bethel,
you know?
771
00:41:22,027 --> 00:41:23,394
- Huh. Mm!
- Okay.
772
00:41:23,396 --> 00:41:25,362
- Uh, so lie down.
- All right.
773
00:41:25,364 --> 00:41:27,097
Here.
774
00:41:27,099 --> 00:41:29,934
Okay. Like the...
775
00:41:29,936 --> 00:41:34,505
Uh, okay, um, scooch down
towards me a little.
776
00:41:34,507 --> 00:41:36,974
Okay, now go left, uh,
just a little bit.
777
00:41:36,976 --> 00:41:38,976
Okay. Actually, scooch back up
just a couple of...
778
00:41:38,978 --> 00:41:41,179
Yeah, okay, that's good.
And come over to your right.
779
00:41:41,181 --> 00:41:42,479
Okay, you're moving faster,
so, so just...
780
00:41:42,481 --> 00:41:43,481
- Yeah. And then...
- Me? Oh. Okay.
781
00:41:43,483 --> 00:41:45,249
You come down just a touch.
782
00:41:45,251 --> 00:41:46,253
Perfect.
783
00:41:47,987 --> 00:41:51,222
Actually, you know what?
Go, go back a little bit.
784
00:41:51,224 --> 00:41:55,325
That's it. That's it! Nice.
785
00:41:55,327 --> 00:41:57,528
This guy is awesome. I mean,
he's basically a level eight.
786
00:41:57,530 --> 00:41:59,500
I know.
787
00:42:03,068 --> 00:42:05,001
Okay.
788
00:42:05,003 --> 00:42:08,141
Now look up to the light.
789
00:42:10,376 --> 00:42:12,309
That's life.
790
00:42:12,311 --> 00:42:16,079
It's bright, it's inviting,
it's warm.
791
00:42:16,081 --> 00:42:18,449
That's light. That's life.
792
00:42:18,451 --> 00:42:21,221
And this is death.
793
00:42:25,057 --> 00:42:26,826
What do you see?
794
00:42:28,193 --> 00:42:31,229
I-I can still see
an outline.
795
00:42:31,231 --> 00:42:33,063
But it's fading.
796
00:42:33,065 --> 00:42:34,365
Exactly.
797
00:42:34,367 --> 00:42:37,467
See, normally when someone dies,
798
00:42:37,469 --> 00:42:41,005
there's a little bit
of afterglow that lingers.
799
00:42:41,007 --> 00:42:43,507
But then unfortunately,
it just disperses
800
00:42:43,509 --> 00:42:45,309
into the ether.
801
00:42:45,311 --> 00:42:49,246
But thanks to the great Storsh,
802
00:42:49,248 --> 00:42:53,016
his chosen will bask
in the light of eternity.
803
00:42:53,018 --> 00:42:55,619
Just because the magical Storsh
804
00:42:55,621 --> 00:42:58,990
spilled his magical blood
in that bath tub,
805
00:42:58,992 --> 00:43:00,958
the bath tub is magical
806
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,661
and will magically hold on
to the afterglow
807
00:43:03,663 --> 00:43:06,396
for all eternity.
808
00:43:06,398 --> 00:43:08,568
All of that in a bath tub?
809
00:43:20,146 --> 00:43:22,583
Would you like to bear witness
to my exodus?
810
00:43:31,958 --> 00:43:35,229
Cyanide. It's quick. Painless.
811
00:43:50,943 --> 00:43:52,976
Well...
812
00:43:52,978 --> 00:43:55,281
I'm sorry, I didn't think
I would get emotional.
813
00:43:57,016 --> 00:44:00,418
You know, you two
are gonna be great followers.
814
00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:02,219
Hm.
815
00:44:02,221 --> 00:44:03,688
I'm gonna tell Storsh about you
816
00:44:03,690 --> 00:44:06,289
when I get to the other side.
817
00:44:06,291 --> 00:44:08,228
That's neat.
818
00:44:10,663 --> 00:44:12,195
Yeah.
819
00:44:12,197 --> 00:44:13,400
Bye.
820
00:44:21,407 --> 00:44:23,210
It's just a sec.
821
00:44:33,485 --> 00:44:34,587
Any second.
822
00:44:47,199 --> 00:44:49,266
- Oh! Oh! Ow! Whoa!
- Oh...
823
00:44:49,268 --> 00:44:51,635
Whoa, wait, hey,
this actually hurts quite a bit.
824
00:44:51,637 --> 00:44:54,037
- Oh, Go... Oh, no!
- Ah! Oh, God!
825
00:44:54,039 --> 00:44:56,206
Oh! Oh, actually,
this hurts quite a lot actually!
826
00:44:56,208 --> 00:44:58,742
- Do you want some water?
- Oh, for the love of Christ!
827
00:44:58,744 --> 00:45:01,244
They're inside of my body,
828
00:45:01,246 --> 00:45:02,713
burning like a thousand suns!
829
00:45:02,715 --> 00:45:04,749
- No! Oh, no!
- I'll go get a first-aid kit!
830
00:45:04,751 --> 00:45:06,784
No! You idiot!
831
00:45:06,786 --> 00:45:09,720
I wanna die! Kill me!
832
00:45:09,722 --> 00:45:11,088
- Kill me!
- Just go!
833
00:45:11,090 --> 00:45:12,155
Oh, my God!
834
00:45:17,262 --> 00:45:19,030
Use this! Use this!
835
00:45:19,032 --> 00:45:20,398
- Me?
- Yes!
836
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:22,099
Oh! Oh!
837
00:45:25,304 --> 00:45:27,438
I am sorry!
838
00:45:28,608 --> 00:45:31,242
What kind of cheap knife
is that?
839
00:45:31,244 --> 00:45:33,043
- We're on a budget, okay?
- No!
840
00:45:33,045 --> 00:45:35,479
Stab harder! Do it!
841
00:45:42,121 --> 00:45:44,220
- Come on!
- No!
842
00:45:44,222 --> 00:45:46,257
Oh! Claire, stop it!
843
00:45:46,259 --> 00:45:49,760
Stop! Claire, no!
844
00:45:49,762 --> 00:45:51,561
We need better killing!
845
00:45:55,635 --> 00:45:58,501
Oh, God! You can't kill me
with that stapler!
846
00:45:58,503 --> 00:46:01,338
- Oh, God! Aah!
- Oh!
847
00:46:01,340 --> 00:46:04,108
You have no idea
how much this hurts!
848
00:46:04,110 --> 00:46:05,543
Plug it in!
849
00:46:08,547 --> 00:46:10,483
Why won't you die?
850
00:46:14,086 --> 00:46:15,853
I gotta get 'em out!
851
00:46:19,759 --> 00:46:20,726
Oh!
852
00:46:30,469 --> 00:46:33,204
Is there something
you wanna tell me, Claire?
853
00:46:33,206 --> 00:46:36,139
Uh, no, I-I don't think so.
854
00:46:36,141 --> 00:46:38,476
You're sure about that?
855
00:46:38,478 --> 00:46:40,414
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
856
00:46:43,782 --> 00:46:46,150
I get why you would,
but it's not a good idea
857
00:46:46,152 --> 00:46:48,151
to lie to a detective, it's...
858
00:46:48,153 --> 00:46:49,820
I detect.
859
00:46:49,822 --> 00:46:53,557
I get to the bottom of things.
It's my job.
860
00:46:53,559 --> 00:46:55,758
And your job is,
861
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,528
you work in the business.
862
00:46:58,530 --> 00:47:00,463
- The business?
- Yeah.
863
00:47:00,465 --> 00:47:02,666
The ad business? I found out.
864
00:47:02,668 --> 00:47:05,269
You work at Global Creative.
865
00:47:05,271 --> 00:47:08,805
Okay, come on. I-I...
Let me wet my beak.
866
00:47:08,807 --> 00:47:12,342
Do you understand how you could
help a person in my situation?
867
00:47:12,344 --> 00:47:14,445
Just...
868
00:47:14,447 --> 00:47:16,780
Oh, hey! Is this
your screenplay? Cool!
869
00:47:16,782 --> 00:47:19,215
I didn't exactly
pick a title yet, but...
870
00:47:19,217 --> 00:47:22,353
Well, what exactly
do you want me to do with this?
871
00:47:22,355 --> 00:47:24,155
Well, do what you do.
Talk to people.
872
00:47:24,157 --> 00:47:26,891
You must know actors, right?
D-do you know Wesley Snipes?
873
00:47:26,893 --> 00:47:29,226
He's who I always picture
when I'm writing about myself.
874
00:47:29,228 --> 00:47:31,394
Uh, he needs this.
875
00:47:31,396 --> 00:47:35,566
Yeah. Totally. I...
You know, I'll make some calls.
876
00:47:35,568 --> 00:47:37,504
- You're not just saying that?
- No.
877
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,374
I had a feeling about you two.
First two aside.
878
00:47:44,376 --> 00:47:47,778
You know? I know I can
count on my new friends.
879
00:47:47,780 --> 00:47:49,179
And sorry about this all.
880
00:47:49,181 --> 00:47:51,282
Well, I'll mark it down
as the usual...
881
00:47:51,284 --> 00:47:52,950
And give me feedback.
Give me notes.
882
00:47:52,952 --> 00:47:54,888
I-I'm not precious,
I collaborate.
883
00:47:56,389 --> 00:47:57,688
♪ Girl you know ♪♪
884
00:47:57,690 --> 00:47:59,255
Uh...
885
00:48:07,666 --> 00:48:09,666
You know,
I've been thinking.
886
00:48:09,668 --> 00:48:12,570
When those guys first showed up
and were gonna kill themselves
887
00:48:12,572 --> 00:48:15,438
in our bath tub, I was like,
"Okay, t-this is crazy."
888
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,641
And then when, you know, the
more we learned about Storsh,
889
00:48:17,643 --> 00:48:19,543
I can see
why these people follow him.
890
00:48:19,545 --> 00:48:21,311
You know, I mean, sure,
it's not for everybody,
891
00:48:21,313 --> 00:48:23,213
but think about what good
he's done for us
892
00:48:23,215 --> 00:48:24,581
and we're not even in his cult.
893
00:48:24,583 --> 00:48:26,583
Well, w-we can't be in a cult.
We're from Ohio.
894
00:48:26,585 --> 00:48:28,251
Yeah, but, you know,
when you think about it,
895
00:48:28,253 --> 00:48:29,820
all religions have good and bad.
896
00:48:29,822 --> 00:48:32,555
So, like, maybe we can just
take the good from Storsh
897
00:48:32,557 --> 00:48:34,391
and, like, apply it
to our own lives.
898
00:48:34,393 --> 00:48:36,260
Like, you know, the other day
when you burned your finger
899
00:48:36,262 --> 00:48:37,894
on the glue gun, and you're
like, "Oh, Jesus H. Christ,"
900
00:48:37,896 --> 00:48:39,429
but, like,
you're not even a Christian.
901
00:48:39,431 --> 00:48:41,532
No, you listen,
I'm totally good with having
902
00:48:41,534 --> 00:48:42,967
a little Storsh in our lives,
I mean, it means
903
00:48:42,969 --> 00:48:44,969
a little more blood
and violence, no biggie.
904
00:48:44,971 --> 00:48:46,836
But that's my point,
you know, these poor souls
905
00:48:46,838 --> 00:48:48,871
work so hard to meet Storsh
in the instantaneous eternity,
906
00:48:48,873 --> 00:48:51,275
but they really have trouble
with the-the, like,
907
00:48:51,277 --> 00:48:52,342
the final commitment, you know?
908
00:48:52,344 --> 00:48:53,376
It's like Cartwright said,
909
00:48:53,378 --> 00:48:54,510
"How many chances do you have
910
00:48:54,512 --> 00:48:55,845
to practice your own suicide?"
911
00:48:55,847 --> 00:48:57,514
- They totally suck at suicide.
- Yeah.
912
00:48:57,516 --> 00:48:59,016
- Yeah.
- So this is what I'm thinking.
913
00:48:59,018 --> 00:49:01,017
You know, it's our apartment,
so what's, what's wrong
914
00:49:01,019 --> 00:49:03,787
with helping our visitors
with a quick, clean transition
915
00:49:03,789 --> 00:49:05,389
into the instantaneous eternity?
916
00:49:05,391 --> 00:49:07,291
Helping our visitors
is the least we can do.
917
00:49:07,293 --> 00:49:09,325
It is the least we can do.
This is our home.
918
00:49:09,327 --> 00:49:12,262
This is our temple.
It's the reason we left Ohio.
919
00:49:12,264 --> 00:49:14,764
To serve the good word
of Storsh.
920
00:49:14,766 --> 00:49:17,434
Reginald E. Storsh, Claire.
I love you.
921
00:49:17,436 --> 00:49:19,836
- Oh.
- I love you.
922
00:49:19,838 --> 00:49:21,775
♪ Ba-ba du-bab du-bab ♪
923
00:49:23,376 --> 00:49:25,312
♪ Ba-ba du-bab du-bab ♪
924
00:49:26,711 --> 00:49:30,447
♪ Bab-ba-rub ba-rub-bab ♪
925
00:49:30,449 --> 00:49:32,048
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
926
00:49:32,050 --> 00:49:33,583
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
927
00:49:33,585 --> 00:49:36,954
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah du-bab ♪
928
00:49:36,956 --> 00:49:38,755
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
929
00:49:38,757 --> 00:49:40,324
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
930
00:49:40,326 --> 00:49:43,459
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah du-bab ♪
931
00:49:43,461 --> 00:49:46,729
♪ Ba-du bab-bab-bab ba-da bah ♪
932
00:49:46,731 --> 00:49:49,867
♪ Ba-du dab-bab
bab-bah du-bah ♪
933
00:49:49,869 --> 00:49:52,436
♪ Ba-du bab-bab bab ba-dap ♪
934
00:49:52,438 --> 00:49:55,875
♪ Bab ba-du ba-du-dap du-dap ♪
935
00:49:57,009 --> 00:49:58,775
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
936
00:49:58,777 --> 00:50:00,510
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
937
00:50:00,512 --> 00:50:03,847
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah du-bab ♪
938
00:50:03,849 --> 00:50:05,648
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
939
00:50:05,650 --> 00:50:07,418
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
940
00:50:07,420 --> 00:50:09,887
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah du-bab ♪
941
00:50:09,889 --> 00:50:13,624
♪ Ba-du bab-bab-bab ba-da bah ♪
942
00:50:13,626 --> 00:50:17,026
♪ Ba-du bab-bab-bab ba-da bah ♪
943
00:50:17,028 --> 00:50:19,362
♪ Ba-du dab-bab-bab ba-dap ♪
944
00:50:19,364 --> 00:50:22,965
♪ Bab ba-da-du ba-du-da du-da ♪
945
00:50:31,844 --> 00:50:34,510
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
946
00:50:34,512 --> 00:50:36,447
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
947
00:50:36,449 --> 00:50:37,748
♪ Ba-da du-ba ba-da ♪
948
00:50:37,750 --> 00:50:39,615
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
949
00:50:39,617 --> 00:50:41,385
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
950
00:50:41,387 --> 00:50:44,722
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah du-bab ♪
951
00:50:44,724 --> 00:50:46,557
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
952
00:50:46,559 --> 00:50:48,092
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah-du ♪
953
00:50:48,094 --> 00:50:51,095
♪ Ba-du-lu bab-bah du-bab ♪
954
00:50:51,097 --> 00:50:54,530
♪ Ba-du bab-bab-bab ba-da bah ♪
955
00:50:54,532 --> 00:50:57,767
♪ Ba-du bab-bab-bab ba-da bah ♪
956
00:50:57,769 --> 00:51:00,604
♪ Ba-du bab-bab-bab ba-dap ♪
957
00:51:00,606 --> 00:51:02,106
♪ Bab ba-da-da bab ♪
958
00:51:05,077 --> 00:51:06,880
♪ Ba-ba du-bab du-dab ♪
959
00:51:08,514 --> 00:51:10,617
♪ Ba-ba du-bab du-dab ♪
960
00:51:11,951 --> 00:51:15,719
♪ Ba-ba du-bab du-dab ♪
961
00:51:15,721 --> 00:51:19,992
♪ Bab ba-dap ba-dap-bab da ♪♪
962
00:51:23,094 --> 00:51:25,996
It's weird how they all have
some kind of red dye
963
00:51:25,998 --> 00:51:27,697
on their lips now.
964
00:51:27,699 --> 00:51:30,467
Yeah. It's totally weird, right?
965
00:51:30,469 --> 00:51:32,068
You know, maybe it's a new part
of their ritual.
966
00:51:32,070 --> 00:51:34,804
Hm. Worthless jerks.
967
00:51:34,806 --> 00:51:37,039
Your mama must be
real proud, pal.
968
00:51:37,041 --> 00:51:39,346
Stone, Wallace,
get rid of this chump.
969
00:51:40,579 --> 00:51:42,945
- So, uh, Claire?
- Yeah?
970
00:51:42,947 --> 00:51:45,182
Any luck with Wesley?
971
00:51:45,184 --> 00:51:47,818
- I'm sorry?
- My script? Wesley Snipes?
972
00:51:47,820 --> 00:51:49,952
Oh! Yeah. Uh, actually, yeah.
973
00:51:49,954 --> 00:51:52,722
I, uh, called,
I called his agent
974
00:51:52,724 --> 00:51:55,858
and Fred, uh,
Fred Burm-Burm,
975
00:51:55,860 --> 00:51:57,860
Fred Burminton,
and he said, uh,
976
00:51:57,862 --> 00:52:00,130
that he was gonna give it
to Wesley and that he was gonna
977
00:52:00,132 --> 00:52:01,798
take a look at it.
978
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,068
You're lying.
979
00:52:04,469 --> 00:52:06,903
- No.
- You gotta be lying!
980
00:52:08,873 --> 00:52:11,074
He said those words?
Fred Burminton said that?
981
00:52:11,076 --> 00:52:13,043
Uh, yeah, absolutely. He...
982
00:52:13,045 --> 00:52:15,012
- You, I told you about...
- She told...
983
00:52:15,014 --> 00:52:16,947
I... He, he definitely did.
984
00:52:16,949 --> 00:52:18,849
Well, here we go!
985
00:52:20,119 --> 00:52:22,119
- Yeah.
- This is it!
986
00:52:22,121 --> 00:52:23,887
Oh, uh, uh, tell him, uh,
987
00:52:23,889 --> 00:52:25,889
I'm gonna take the thing
about the super soldiers out.
988
00:52:25,891 --> 00:52:28,057
Uh, my sister's boyfriend
is a bloom operator
989
00:52:28,059 --> 00:52:30,193
on General Hospital
and he said, um,
990
00:52:30,195 --> 00:52:32,028
that that technically
makes it sci-fi,
991
00:52:32,030 --> 00:52:34,030
which is an issue
in Germany, uh,
992
00:52:34,032 --> 00:52:36,099
and I wanted this to play
internationally.
993
00:52:36,101 --> 00:52:38,469
I can't believe
I just said that.
994
00:52:38,471 --> 00:52:40,737
Okay, so then,
no super soldiers.
995
00:52:40,739 --> 00:52:41,771
Got it.
996
00:52:41,773 --> 00:52:43,139
Claire, you are amazing.
997
00:52:43,141 --> 00:52:45,809
- Oh, oh...
- Oh...
998
00:52:48,246 --> 00:52:51,048
Thank you.
999
00:52:51,050 --> 00:52:53,987
- Oh, that's... Tha-that happens.
- Hey...
1000
00:53:07,032 --> 00:53:08,731
Claire.
1001
00:53:08,733 --> 00:53:10,900
Ms. Nordheim.
What are you doing here?
1002
00:53:10,902 --> 00:53:12,735
I just came
from a fundraising dinner.
1003
00:53:12,737 --> 00:53:14,905
We made a record raise.
1004
00:53:14,907 --> 00:53:16,840
You managed to turn my whole
campaign around, Claire.
1005
00:53:16,842 --> 00:53:18,644
I wanted to thank you.
1006
00:53:19,911 --> 00:53:22,979
Oh. Wow,
that is so sweet of you.
1007
00:53:22,981 --> 00:53:26,650
I'm gonna have to start
drinking wine.
1008
00:53:26,652 --> 00:53:29,653
Well, well, well.
What a beauty.
1009
00:53:29,655 --> 00:53:31,655
I am impressed, Claire.
Is it yours?
1010
00:53:31,657 --> 00:53:34,891
Oh. Yeah, the birdhouse?
My, uh, my boyfriend makes 'em.
1011
00:53:34,893 --> 00:53:36,995
Hm. Well.
1012
00:53:38,630 --> 00:53:39,896
I'll tell you what, Claire.
1013
00:53:39,898 --> 00:53:41,298
I am in the market
1014
00:53:41,300 --> 00:53:42,932
of furry birdhouse.
1015
00:53:42,934 --> 00:53:44,867
I would love to meet the artist.
1016
00:53:44,869 --> 00:53:47,170
Oh, I'm-I'm sure
Paul would be thrilled.
1017
00:53:47,172 --> 00:53:50,007
I-I would, I'd be happy
to make the connection for you.
1018
00:53:50,009 --> 00:53:51,974
I... We'll have to do that
sometime.
1019
00:53:51,976 --> 00:53:53,245
How about now?
1020
00:54:02,288 --> 00:54:03,755
Oh, uh...
1021
00:54:05,190 --> 00:54:07,126
We're still moving in, so...
1022
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:12,262
Can I, uh, offer you anything?
1023
00:54:12,264 --> 00:54:15,902
- Are these the birdhouses?
- Oh, yeah, th-those are them.
1024
00:54:17,268 --> 00:54:20,170
Where's the boyfriend?
He around?
1025
00:54:20,172 --> 00:54:22,139
He must be out, which is...
1026
00:54:22,141 --> 00:54:23,706
You know, and he pretty much
never goes out,
1027
00:54:23,708 --> 00:54:25,141
so it's kinda weird.
1028
00:54:25,143 --> 00:54:27,010
- I'm gonna paint one of those.
- Oh.
1029
00:54:27,012 --> 00:54:30,817
I've always wanted to dive
head first into the arts.
1030
00:54:32,117 --> 00:54:33,086
Hm.
1031
00:54:36,889 --> 00:54:39,990
I like you, Claire.
Frankly, I see myself in you.
1032
00:54:39,992 --> 00:54:41,992
And I'm sure my upbringing
wasn't that different from you
1033
00:54:41,994 --> 00:54:43,796
other than, you know...
1034
00:54:45,931 --> 00:54:47,296
I look like this.
1035
00:54:47,298 --> 00:54:49,231
And I realized pretty quickly,
that as a woman,
1036
00:54:49,233 --> 00:54:51,934
you have tremendous power.
1037
00:54:51,936 --> 00:54:53,103
Have you ever felt
the kind of power
1038
00:54:53,105 --> 00:54:54,204
that I'm talking about, Claire?
1039
00:54:54,206 --> 00:54:55,639
Oh, you know, o-once I played
1040
00:54:55,641 --> 00:54:57,340
the Powerball
and I won five dollars.
1041
00:54:57,342 --> 00:55:00,644
Yeah, that was pretty cool.
1042
00:55:00,646 --> 00:55:02,945
So I figured if these men are
gonna have their way with me,
1043
00:55:02,947 --> 00:55:05,148
then I'm gonna have my way
with them.
1044
00:55:05,150 --> 00:55:08,784
Armund was 82
when I married him.
1045
00:55:08,786 --> 00:55:12,389
Today he is 96.
1046
00:55:12,391 --> 00:55:15,224
Turns out, the old guy
is built like a machine.
1047
00:55:15,226 --> 00:55:17,260
And he just keeps going
1048
00:55:17,262 --> 00:55:20,162
and going and going and going
1049
00:55:20,164 --> 00:55:23,666
and going and going and going
and going and going!
1050
00:55:23,668 --> 00:55:26,670
Point is, Claire,
this young boyfriend of yours
1051
00:55:26,672 --> 00:55:29,139
who builds birdhouses,
I am sure he's just peachy.
1052
00:55:29,141 --> 00:55:32,943
But you have got to take the
power that is rightfully yours.
1053
00:55:32,945 --> 00:55:35,077
You've got to milk this world
for everything
1054
00:55:35,079 --> 00:55:36,646
that it has to give.
1055
00:55:36,648 --> 00:55:40,684
You know, t-that must be Paul.
1056
00:55:40,686 --> 00:55:42,084
Oh.
1057
00:55:42,086 --> 00:55:44,755
Oh, my gosh. Mr. Nordheim!
1058
00:55:44,757 --> 00:55:47,356
Did-did you climb up
all of those stairs?
1059
00:55:47,358 --> 00:55:49,059
Are you okay? Here.
1060
00:55:49,061 --> 00:55:51,795
D-does he need, like,
a defibrillator o-or something?
1061
00:55:51,797 --> 00:55:53,195
Uh, should I get him some water?
1062
00:55:53,197 --> 00:55:54,697
He's already had his water
today.
1063
00:55:54,699 --> 00:55:56,666
Claire, let him go.
Claire, he's fine.
1064
00:55:56,668 --> 00:55:58,101
What I am trying to tell you is
1065
00:55:58,103 --> 00:56:00,202
that I have come here
to liberate you
1066
00:56:00,204 --> 00:56:02,104
from the prison
1067
00:56:02,106 --> 00:56:03,740
that you call love.
1068
00:56:03,742 --> 00:56:06,175
And, yes,
it will be painful at first,
1069
00:56:06,177 --> 00:56:08,010
but eventually
you're gonna thank me.
1070
00:56:08,012 --> 00:56:11,782
And I can't say that I'm not
going to enjoy liberating you
1071
00:56:11,784 --> 00:56:13,450
by liberating Paul
1072
00:56:13,452 --> 00:56:16,253
the way I liberated
that boy in the gym
1073
00:56:16,255 --> 00:56:19,722
over and over
and over and over...
1074
00:56:19,724 --> 00:56:21,023
Oh, my God!
1075
00:56:21,025 --> 00:56:23,325
Oh, oh... Oh, my God! Ho!
1076
00:56:23,327 --> 00:56:25,632
I'll go get the first-aid kit.
1077
00:56:36,842 --> 00:56:38,909
Oh, I'm free. I'm free.
1078
00:56:38,911 --> 00:56:40,976
I am free. I am finally free!
1079
00:56:40,978 --> 00:56:42,479
Oh, my God. I'm finally free.
1080
00:56:42,481 --> 00:56:44,748
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, God, thank you.
1081
00:56:44,750 --> 00:56:47,083
I so deserved this. Thank you!
1082
00:56:47,085 --> 00:56:49,151
Thank you, thank you,
thank you...
1083
00:56:49,153 --> 00:56:51,054
- Paul.
- Oh, my gosh!
1084
00:56:51,056 --> 00:56:52,456
You're Meegan Nordheim.
1085
00:56:52,458 --> 00:56:55,758
Paul, I want you to liberate me.
1086
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,260
Liberate me now.
1087
00:56:57,262 --> 00:56:59,329
- Uh, is Claire home?
- Forget Claire!
1088
00:56:59,331 --> 00:57:01,932
There is no Claire. There is
only you and there is me.
1089
00:57:01,934 --> 00:57:03,900
- Okay. I'll get the juice.
- No, no, no...
1090
00:57:03,902 --> 00:57:05,769
Paul, come to me.
Paul, I want my bliss now.
1091
00:57:05,771 --> 00:57:07,436
Please don't make me wait for
it. Don't make me wait, Paul.
1092
00:57:07,438 --> 00:57:09,305
Please, please, please, I want
my bliss. Please, Paul, Paul...
1093
00:57:09,307 --> 00:57:10,507
Paul, please, now.
1094
00:57:10,509 --> 00:57:13,275
- Oh... Okay, o-okay, okay.
- Okay.
1095
00:57:24,088 --> 00:57:27,124
Oh, no. Paul, what did you do?
1096
00:57:27,126 --> 00:57:29,860
- I saved her.
- What? Why?
1097
00:57:29,862 --> 00:57:31,994
She was a visitor. You said
that we had to help them.
1098
00:57:31,996 --> 00:57:33,863
No...
Children of Storsh.
1099
00:57:33,865 --> 00:57:35,164
Well, how was I supposed
to know that?
1100
00:57:35,166 --> 00:57:37,800
It's called logic, Paul!
1101
00:57:37,802 --> 00:57:39,503
- Oh, shoot!
- My God!
1102
00:57:39,505 --> 00:57:42,271
Oh, no, no, no, no.
1103
00:57:42,273 --> 00:57:44,307
You let her paint
the country house?
1104
00:57:44,309 --> 00:57:46,909
I'd hardly call that
a country house.
1105
00:57:46,911 --> 00:57:48,378
No, no, no, no, no.
1106
00:57:48,380 --> 00:57:49,912
Country house, Boyd house,
1107
00:57:49,914 --> 00:57:51,347
complete with a little
front-porch swing
1108
00:57:51,349 --> 00:57:53,450
and a bird-watching tower
for watching birds.
1109
00:57:53,452 --> 00:57:55,952
Looks more like a fire station.
1110
00:57:55,954 --> 00:57:58,121
What kind of fire station
has a porch swing?
1111
00:57:58,123 --> 00:58:00,055
Forget about the birdhouse,
Paul.
1112
00:58:00,057 --> 00:58:02,092
We gotta deal with this now,
okay?
1113
00:58:02,094 --> 00:58:04,059
No, no, no. She's-she's...
It's gonna be fine.
1114
00:58:04,061 --> 00:58:06,362
I mean, she's still alive.
Everything's, everything's okay.
1115
00:58:06,364 --> 00:58:08,063
She's gonna tell everyone
what you did
1116
00:58:08,065 --> 00:58:09,166
and you're gonna go to jail!
1117
00:58:09,168 --> 00:58:11,104
How can you be so stupid?
1118
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:15,807
Paul!
1119
00:58:21,813 --> 00:58:23,546
I'm sorry, Ms. Nordheim.
1120
00:58:23,548 --> 00:58:26,016
Not the fire station.
1121
00:58:26,018 --> 00:58:28,121
It's a country house.
1122
00:58:44,436 --> 00:58:46,372
Cartwright's on his way.
1123
00:58:48,206 --> 00:58:50,840
What are you gonna tell him?
1124
00:58:50,842 --> 00:58:52,110
A story.
1125
00:58:54,146 --> 00:58:55,912
A love story
1126
00:58:55,914 --> 00:58:58,148
about a woman who married a man
1127
00:58:58,150 --> 00:59:00,115
for all of the right reasons,
1128
00:59:00,117 --> 00:59:02,418
and not for his money
and-and not for his power,
1129
00:59:02,420 --> 00:59:05,988
but because she saw
who he really was.
1130
00:59:05,990 --> 00:59:07,990
A man who needed her
1131
00:59:07,992 --> 00:59:10,894
more than she needed him.
1132
00:59:10,896 --> 00:59:13,028
It started out
as a pure kind of love,
1133
00:59:13,030 --> 00:59:16,932
but it quickly became
something else.
1134
00:59:16,934 --> 00:59:20,873
An obligation,
not for her, but for him.
1135
00:59:22,407 --> 00:59:25,976
For her it was never
a romantic kind of love.
1136
00:59:25,978 --> 00:59:28,612
It was a friend kind of love.
1137
00:59:28,614 --> 00:59:31,347
She knew that if she left him,
1138
00:59:31,349 --> 00:59:33,883
it would destroy him.
1139
00:59:33,885 --> 00:59:37,887
So she stayed by his side
and hoped that he would realize
1140
00:59:37,889 --> 00:59:40,326
that he bet on the wrong horse.
1141
00:59:41,626 --> 00:59:43,429
But he never did.
1142
00:59:44,929 --> 00:59:48,033
So she was trapped...
1143
00:59:49,601 --> 00:59:51,537
until she found Storsh.
1144
00:59:53,405 --> 00:59:55,505
What she never found
in her marriage,
1145
00:59:55,507 --> 00:59:59,108
she found in the open arms
of Storsh and his followers,
1146
00:59:59,110 --> 01:00:01,311
seekers
of the instantaneous eternity,
1147
01:00:01,313 --> 01:00:03,345
that one brief moment of bliss
1148
01:00:03,347 --> 01:00:06,115
that can go on for forever.
1149
01:00:06,117 --> 01:00:08,952
Armund was so distraught,
so devastated
1150
01:00:08,954 --> 01:00:11,253
by the loss of his one true love
1151
01:00:11,255 --> 01:00:13,490
that he sought to follow her.
1152
01:00:13,492 --> 01:00:15,090
He'd rather die in her arms
1153
01:00:15,092 --> 01:00:17,362
than live without her
for one more day.
1154
01:00:19,998 --> 01:00:21,630
Wow.
1155
01:00:21,632 --> 01:00:23,435
Gosh, darn it, Claire.
1156
01:00:25,237 --> 01:00:27,505
I have to say something to you
right now.
1157
01:00:29,206 --> 01:00:32,641
You-you know what?
We had a problem, right?
1158
01:00:32,643 --> 01:00:34,209
And what do we do?
1159
01:00:34,211 --> 01:00:36,012
- We sorted it.
- Uh-huh.
1160
01:00:36,014 --> 01:00:39,014
This problem is sorted.
It's sorted.
1161
01:00:39,016 --> 01:00:40,717
And it's not just this problem,
it's everything, our...
1162
01:00:40,719 --> 01:00:42,552
The-the apartment,
your job, my job.
1163
01:00:42,554 --> 01:00:46,358
We... we are, are sorted.
1164
01:00:51,963 --> 01:00:54,063
What are you doing?
1165
01:00:54,065 --> 01:00:55,166
Listen...
1166
01:00:57,068 --> 01:01:01,503
Claire Annabelle McKenty,
will you, will you marry me?
1167
01:01:01,505 --> 01:01:04,374
Y-you're doing this
right now?
1168
01:01:04,376 --> 01:01:06,742
No, I know, I know I said
I wouldn't ask again
1169
01:01:06,744 --> 01:01:08,378
until we got our-our stuff
figured out.
1170
01:01:08,380 --> 01:01:11,213
But guess what? We did! We did!
1171
01:01:11,215 --> 01:01:12,414
I wanna be with you forever,
Claire.
1172
01:01:12,416 --> 01:01:15,517
I want...
I need you to marry me.
1173
01:01:15,519 --> 01:01:18,157
- Oh, well, okay...
- Okay.
1174
01:01:19,557 --> 01:01:23,028
We need to do the thing...
right now.
1175
01:01:27,132 --> 01:01:29,164
♪ Do you like me? I suppose ♪
1176
01:01:29,166 --> 01:01:30,766
♪ Draw me like a French girl
Jack and Rose ♪
1177
01:01:30,768 --> 01:01:32,702
♪ Sun goes up
and you milk that cow ♪
1178
01:01:32,704 --> 01:01:34,537
♪ Slap that udder
on the big bad cow ♪
1179
01:01:34,539 --> 01:01:36,539
♪ Watch that cow
eat all that grass ♪
1180
01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,675
♪ Sometimes a donkey's
called an ass ♪
1181
01:01:38,677 --> 01:01:40,543
♪ Me a question and I'll tell
you what I'm thinking ♪
1182
01:01:40,545 --> 01:01:42,512
♪ Every night
Uncle Gary goes drinking ♪
1183
01:01:42,514 --> 01:01:44,414
♪ Oh hey you hear the news? ♪
1184
01:01:44,416 --> 01:01:46,349
♪ Mom and dad
went on a cruise ♪
1185
01:01:46,351 --> 01:01:48,385
♪ Mom had come
but the group was smelling ♪
1186
01:01:48,387 --> 01:01:50,353
♪ Mom came back
with a baby in her belly ♪
1187
01:01:50,355 --> 01:01:52,389
♪ Spaghetti and meatballs
parmesan ♪♪
1188
01:01:52,391 --> 01:01:54,190
Spaghetti and meatballs!
1189
01:01:57,461 --> 01:02:01,664
It's okay. We're so close.
Doesn't matter.
1190
01:02:01,666 --> 01:02:03,602
We're married now.
1191
01:02:07,039 --> 01:02:09,141
I love you so much.
1192
01:02:30,528 --> 01:02:32,662
♪ Gum drops ♪
1193
01:02:32,664 --> 01:02:36,769
♪ On Christmas Day ♪♪
1194
01:02:40,204 --> 01:02:43,273
- Hey, smiley!
- Hey, smiley!
1195
01:02:43,275 --> 01:02:45,340
I didn't hear you come in.
1196
01:02:45,342 --> 01:02:47,677
D-did we get any visitors?
1197
01:02:47,679 --> 01:02:51,150
Oh, no.
No, it's been pretty quiet.
1198
01:02:54,286 --> 01:02:56,786
Y-you know, I was thinking,
maybe we could go for a walk
1199
01:02:56,788 --> 01:02:58,588
in the neighborhood
and then when we get back,
1200
01:02:58,590 --> 01:03:01,590
we could play some shrabes.
1201
01:03:01,592 --> 01:03:06,595
I was kinda hoping for like
a Storshy kind of evening.
1202
01:03:06,597 --> 01:03:08,067
So...
1203
01:03:29,521 --> 01:03:30,653
Go for Cartwright.
1204
01:03:30,655 --> 01:03:33,590
Detective, hey. It's Claire.
1205
01:03:33,592 --> 01:03:35,758
Claire, got any news for me?
1206
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:39,461
News? Oh! Yeah! You know, I...
1207
01:03:39,463 --> 01:03:41,430
Uh, I, uh,
heard from Snipes
1208
01:03:41,432 --> 01:03:43,766
and he loved the script, so...
1209
01:03:43,768 --> 01:03:46,302
You're kidding. Are you kidding?
1210
01:03:46,304 --> 01:03:49,606
No, I'm, I wouldn't, I wouldn't
kid with you, Boyce-boy.
1211
01:03:49,608 --> 01:03:51,907
Uh, uh, please hold one...
1212
01:03:59,518 --> 01:04:02,552
Yeah!
1213
01:04:02,554 --> 01:04:05,155
Yeah! Yeah!
1214
01:04:05,157 --> 01:04:08,258
Yeah!
1215
01:04:19,371 --> 01:04:21,371
Ah, that's such a good news.
1216
01:04:21,373 --> 01:04:22,905
Claire,
this is huge.
1217
01:04:22,907 --> 01:04:25,307
I should, I gotta put in notice
with my captain, right?
1218
01:04:25,309 --> 01:04:27,276
Because I can't work active
cases if I'm gonna be on set.
1219
01:04:27,278 --> 01:04:29,378
Is he gonna want
a producer credit? 'Cause I...
1220
01:04:29,380 --> 01:04:31,313
Between you and me,
he doesn't deserve anything
1221
01:04:31,315 --> 01:04:33,950
more than
associate executive producer.
1222
01:04:33,952 --> 01:04:35,584
Hey, uh, question for you.
1223
01:04:35,586 --> 01:04:37,420
Anything, Claire, shoot.
1224
01:04:37,422 --> 01:04:39,354
We haven't had a cult member
in a while
1225
01:04:39,356 --> 01:04:41,824
and I just wondered, like,
is there some sort of, like,
1226
01:04:41,826 --> 01:04:43,626
Storsh holiday
that we're not aware of?
1227
01:04:43,628 --> 01:04:46,528
Like a,
like a suicide Yom Kippur?
1228
01:04:46,530 --> 01:04:50,200
Oh, well, it hasn't been
that long, it's three days ago.
1229
01:04:50,202 --> 01:04:52,235
Oh, yeah, okay, cool,
no, it just seems like
1230
01:04:52,237 --> 01:04:53,769
there should've been one by now.
1231
01:04:53,771 --> 01:04:55,972
Actually, uh, a few years ago,
there was a dry spell
1232
01:04:55,974 --> 01:04:57,773
that lasted six months.
1233
01:04:57,775 --> 01:05:00,943
I mean, I thought it was over,
1234
01:05:00,945 --> 01:05:03,412
but then
it all started up again.
1235
01:05:03,414 --> 01:05:07,383
Uh, eventually, Claire,
they always come back.
1236
01:05:07,385 --> 01:05:09,485
That's what you gotta understand
about these people.
1237
01:05:09,487 --> 01:05:12,588
If it helps, think of yourself
as switching places
1238
01:05:12,590 --> 01:05:14,891
with me narratively.
1239
01:05:14,893 --> 01:05:16,959
You know, you're becoming
kind of the lonely beat cop
1240
01:05:16,961 --> 01:05:19,394
in the wasteland of death,
1241
01:05:19,396 --> 01:05:21,764
I'm becoming
the Hollywood screenwriter.
1242
01:05:21,766 --> 01:05:24,867
Hey, Claire, do you think
1243
01:05:24,869 --> 01:05:27,003
that a guy like me
1244
01:05:27,005 --> 01:05:30,572
would be able to pen a romcom,
1245
01:05:30,574 --> 01:05:32,242
a romantic comedy?
1246
01:05:32,244 --> 01:05:34,443
I had this story,
you know what they say,
1247
01:05:34,445 --> 01:05:35,612
"Write what you know."
1248
01:05:35,614 --> 01:05:38,514
My ex-wife, she went to Ireland
1249
01:05:38,516 --> 01:05:41,251
o-once and she just never
came back,
1250
01:05:41,253 --> 01:05:43,720
and e-eventually we divorced
through the mail
1251
01:05:43,722 --> 01:05:45,755
and it was, it was kinda
like a Lake House
1252
01:05:45,757 --> 01:05:47,956
meets, um, Lady And The Tramp.
1253
01:05:47,958 --> 01:05:51,394
Because we were really
better friends
1254
01:05:51,396 --> 01:05:54,796
through letters that when
w-when we were sharing a bed.
1255
01:05:54,798 --> 01:05:57,467
And then I eventually,
you know, started talking
1256
01:05:57,469 --> 01:05:59,635
to her new husband.
1257
01:05:59,637 --> 01:06:01,304
Um, he's a firefighter.
1258
01:06:01,306 --> 01:06:03,773
Uh, I mean, and Irish
firefighter, you gotta...
1259
01:06:03,775 --> 01:06:05,407
It's pretty cool. Like, like...
1260
01:06:05,409 --> 01:06:07,309
As-as much as I don't wanna
admit it, like,
1261
01:06:07,311 --> 01:06:09,412
that's pretty much
a manlier occupation.
1262
01:06:09,414 --> 01:06:12,481
I mean, an the Irish already
fight everything.
1263
01:06:12,483 --> 01:06:14,349
This guy fights fire.
1264
01:06:14,351 --> 01:06:16,753
Uh, I-I-I just
thought, like,
1265
01:06:16,755 --> 01:06:18,787
kind of a,
like a triangle thing
1266
01:06:18,789 --> 01:06:21,791
with like
Matthew McConaughey, uh,
1267
01:06:21,793 --> 01:06:24,327
Kate Hudson and maybe
like Wesley Snipes.
1268
01:06:24,329 --> 01:06:27,063
If he gets one on this one...
1269
01:06:38,842 --> 01:06:41,411
Okay, so listen,
Nordheim wasn't in the cult.
1270
01:06:41,413 --> 01:06:42,945
- But we saved her anyway.
- Well, she needed to be saved.
1271
01:06:42,947 --> 01:06:44,880
- She wanted to kill puppies.
- Exactly.
1272
01:06:44,882 --> 01:06:46,581
So before we were saving people
1273
01:06:46,583 --> 01:06:48,517
into the instantaneous eternity
who wanted to be saved,
1274
01:06:48,519 --> 01:06:50,385
but maybe we save people
who need to be saved
1275
01:06:50,387 --> 01:06:51,653
that don't even know
they need to be saved.
1276
01:06:51,655 --> 01:06:52,688
That's great, like murderers
1277
01:06:52,690 --> 01:06:54,456
and rapists or celebrity chefs.
1278
01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:57,262
Exactly. Okay. Let's do this.
1279
01:07:40,672 --> 01:07:44,106
It's a, um, new anti-depressant.
1280
01:07:44,108 --> 01:07:46,141
We have to sell people
on getting happy
1281
01:07:46,143 --> 01:07:48,811
because apparantly
hopelessness and despair
1282
01:07:48,813 --> 01:07:51,046
are currently trending.
1283
01:07:51,048 --> 01:07:53,786
Mr. Carl, I've got this.
1284
01:07:58,856 --> 01:08:01,893
The only way to achieve
complete happiness is...
1285
01:08:03,728 --> 01:08:07,396
by inviting the father and
savior Storsh in to your heart.
1286
01:08:07,398 --> 01:08:09,432
Now, I-I know, I know you're all
looking at me
1287
01:08:09,434 --> 01:08:11,767
like you're a little skeptical,
but believe me, I was too,
1288
01:08:11,769 --> 01:08:13,668
but, you know, you just,
you just gotta go for it.
1289
01:08:13,670 --> 01:08:15,771
So, I-I'd love
for you guys to join.
1290
01:08:15,773 --> 01:08:17,773
You know, just a bunch
of like-minded people
1291
01:08:17,775 --> 01:08:20,045
who wanna be as happy
as they can be.
1292
01:08:21,813 --> 01:08:24,013
That's all very interesting.
1293
01:08:24,015 --> 01:08:26,585
And you've given us a lot
to think about.
1294
01:08:30,788 --> 01:08:33,188
Stupid legs, stupid legs.
1295
01:08:33,190 --> 01:08:34,956
Stupid rigor-mortis legs!
1296
01:08:34,958 --> 01:08:37,192
Oh! Fuck!
1297
01:08:37,194 --> 01:08:40,495
Claire! Claire!
Thanks God you're home.
1298
01:08:40,497 --> 01:08:43,465
Something terrible has happened.
They shut down my website.
1299
01:08:43,467 --> 01:08:44,733
And my credit card was declined.
1300
01:08:44,735 --> 01:08:47,135
I was just so busy
making birdhouses
1301
01:08:47,137 --> 01:08:50,005
that I forgot to pay
and then the bank was so far
1302
01:08:50,007 --> 01:08:52,208
that I didn't wanna walk
and I spent all my money
1303
01:08:52,210 --> 01:08:54,076
on skittles and wood
and thanks God...
1304
01:08:54,078 --> 01:08:56,879
Thanks God for you, Claire,
thanks God for you.
1305
01:08:56,881 --> 01:08:58,714
Can you swap me 200 bucks?
1306
01:08:58,716 --> 01:09:01,717
They fired me, Paul!
They fired me!
1307
01:09:01,719 --> 01:09:03,452
We don't have jobs.
1308
01:09:03,454 --> 01:09:06,555
We are unsorted, Paul!
We're unsorted!
1309
01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:12,562
What are we gonna do, Claire?
What are we gonna do?
1310
01:09:12,564 --> 01:09:14,833
I love you. I love you. Uh...
1311
01:09:15,867 --> 01:09:16,835
Yeah?
1312
01:10:55,934 --> 01:11:00,572
Claire Annabelle McKenty,
you, will you marry me?
1313
01:11:12,617 --> 01:11:15,116
No.
1314
01:11:15,118 --> 01:11:17,054
I can't marry you.
1315
01:11:53,658 --> 01:11:55,761
Hello, Claire, my child.
1316
01:11:57,996 --> 01:12:01,630
- It's you.
- It's me.
1317
01:12:01,632 --> 01:12:03,132
I-I can't believe it.
You-you came.
1318
01:12:03,134 --> 01:12:04,333
They doubted you, but you came.
1319
01:12:04,335 --> 01:12:07,769
Shh, quiet now.
Let's not spoil it.
1320
01:12:07,771 --> 01:12:09,271
I just can't believe it.
1321
01:12:09,273 --> 01:12:11,206
You're actually,
you're here i-in my tub.
1322
01:12:11,208 --> 01:12:12,775
Remember the thing
about not spoiling it
1323
01:12:12,777 --> 01:12:14,242
that I just said
six seconds ago?
1324
01:12:14,244 --> 01:12:17,079
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry.
I just...
1325
01:12:17,081 --> 01:12:19,749
Well, y-your teachings
have changed my life.
1326
01:12:19,751 --> 01:12:21,750
- Mm-hmm.
- It's just...
1327
01:12:21,752 --> 01:12:23,352
Things aren't working now
and I don't know,
1328
01:12:23,354 --> 01:12:25,388
I don't know
where I've gone wrong.
1329
01:12:25,390 --> 01:12:27,656
Mm, tell you,
when this whole thing started,
1330
01:12:27,658 --> 01:12:30,425
I never thought it would spread
further than my backyard.
1331
01:12:30,427 --> 01:12:32,361
Just a bunch of crazy loons
dancing in the light
1332
01:12:32,363 --> 01:12:36,132
of the instantaneous eternity
over nachos and Fanta.
1333
01:12:36,134 --> 01:12:39,402
But soon the whole city
became my backyard.
1334
01:12:39,404 --> 01:12:42,808
The beacon of Storsh was lit
and the people came.
1335
01:12:44,141 --> 01:12:45,741
I know I did.
1336
01:12:45,743 --> 01:12:47,209
I know you know you did.
1337
01:12:47,211 --> 01:12:49,778
I was watching you
from the afterlife.
1338
01:12:49,780 --> 01:12:53,214
You know, the spiritual reward
for saving souls was incredible.
1339
01:12:53,216 --> 01:12:55,116
What a buzz!
It's just like a tingle.
1340
01:12:55,118 --> 01:12:57,119
But soon that wasn't enough.
1341
01:12:57,121 --> 01:12:58,920
I needed to reach
more of my children,
1342
01:12:58,922 --> 01:13:00,755
I needed the message
to find the masses
1343
01:13:00,757 --> 01:13:02,958
and save the souls
of the entire world
1344
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:05,227
like, on a God level.
1345
01:13:05,229 --> 01:13:09,732
You know, I, I made a plan
and that plan was I'd get caught
1346
01:13:09,734 --> 01:13:11,866
and I'd become
a media sensation.
1347
01:13:11,868 --> 01:13:14,236
Live out my days in some
cushy, white-collared prison
1348
01:13:14,238 --> 01:13:15,937
like Bundy Romanson.
1349
01:13:15,939 --> 01:13:19,241
TV specials, conjugal visits.
1350
01:13:19,243 --> 01:13:21,710
So I let that cop catch me.
1351
01:13:21,712 --> 01:13:24,345
You know this guy,
you know who I'm talking about?
1352
01:13:24,347 --> 01:13:26,081
- Cartwright?
- Yeah.
1353
01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:28,183
Naturally, he screwed it all up
and I got off.
1354
01:13:28,185 --> 01:13:29,951
But it turns out,
getting away with it
1355
01:13:29,953 --> 01:13:32,287
was like some major power move.
1356
01:13:32,289 --> 01:13:33,888
Next thing,
I'm this huge celebrity,
1357
01:13:33,890 --> 01:13:35,090
people following me around,
1358
01:13:35,092 --> 01:13:36,392
"Oh, Storsh, have my baby.
1359
01:13:36,394 --> 01:13:38,059
Storsh, can I get a photo?
1360
01:13:38,061 --> 01:13:40,196
Storsh, can I get a photo
of you and me
1361
01:13:40,198 --> 01:13:41,429
trying to make babies?"
1362
01:13:41,431 --> 01:13:43,165
People offering me book deals,
1363
01:13:43,167 --> 01:13:45,468
multiple book deals,
like a three-book deal.
1364
01:13:45,470 --> 01:13:49,237
In the grocery store,
people offering me cupcakes,
1365
01:13:49,239 --> 01:13:51,040
people... I mean, you name it.
1366
01:13:51,042 --> 01:13:53,375
I had an assistant...
1367
01:13:53,377 --> 01:13:55,477
for a little while.
1368
01:13:55,479 --> 01:13:57,479
But then I realized,
"Oh, my God.
1369
01:13:57,481 --> 01:13:59,447
I could immortalize myself
1370
01:13:59,449 --> 01:14:01,183
and forever spread
the word of Storsh
1371
01:14:01,185 --> 01:14:04,754
with the ultimate saving.
Who? Me, myself."
1372
01:14:04,756 --> 01:14:07,123
So I climbed in this bathtub
here and I did my thing
1373
01:14:07,125 --> 01:14:10,862
and in one fell swoop, I became
the god I was destined to be.
1374
01:14:12,195 --> 01:14:15,764
Oh, that is so beautiful.
1375
01:14:15,766 --> 01:14:18,400
Yeah, I guess it is.
1376
01:14:18,402 --> 01:14:21,370
But, you, Claire, you, my love.
1377
01:14:21,372 --> 01:14:23,272
None of my followers
have served me
1378
01:14:23,274 --> 01:14:25,473
as greatly or lovingly as you.
1379
01:14:25,475 --> 01:14:28,477
And yet, there is still one
final lesson for you to learn.
1380
01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:31,115
Oh, teach me. I-I want to learn.
1381
01:14:32,783 --> 01:14:35,785
You've been so focused
on saving everyone else,
1382
01:14:35,787 --> 01:14:39,455
you've forgotten the
most important person of all.
1383
01:14:39,457 --> 01:14:42,223
I-I'm sorry, what?
1384
01:14:42,225 --> 01:14:45,093
You've been so focused
on saving everyone else,
1385
01:14:45,095 --> 01:14:48,798
you've forgotten the
most important person of all.
1386
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:49,964
I-I don't...
1387
01:14:49,966 --> 01:14:51,000
You've forgotten
the most important
1388
01:14:51,002 --> 01:14:52,270
person of all.
1389
01:14:53,805 --> 01:14:57,106
Oh... Oh.
1390
01:14:57,108 --> 01:15:01,313
Yeah. I understand.
1391
01:15:02,445 --> 01:15:04,082
I understand.
1392
01:15:06,551 --> 01:15:09,354
The door to my bus
is always open, Claire.
1393
01:15:10,822 --> 01:15:12,090
Always open.
1394
01:15:50,394 --> 01:15:52,160
Hey, Cartwright.
1395
01:15:52,162 --> 01:15:56,264
I heard you're, uh, going off
to make your movie.
1396
01:15:56,266 --> 01:15:59,101
Yeah.
Finally pulling it together.
1397
01:15:59,103 --> 01:16:00,870
Oh.
1398
01:16:00,872 --> 01:16:02,204
I'll see you at the premiere.
1399
01:16:07,944 --> 01:16:09,180
Oh-ho...
1400
01:16:11,649 --> 01:16:14,215
Ah, man, you're such a wiener.
1401
01:16:16,052 --> 01:16:19,858
Oh, man.
1402
01:16:31,969 --> 01:16:33,268
Hey.
1403
01:16:33,270 --> 01:16:34,238
Hey.
1404
01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:39,275
Still wanna go to Winnipeg?
1405
01:16:39,277 --> 01:16:41,977
Not really.
1406
01:16:41,979 --> 01:16:43,414
Yeah, me neither.
1407
01:16:47,150 --> 01:16:48,951
And while you were in there
talking to the bathtub,
1408
01:16:48,953 --> 01:16:51,553
I did some thinking.
1409
01:16:51,555 --> 01:16:53,955
Yeah?
1410
01:16:53,957 --> 01:16:57,692
The reason
you never really married me.
1411
01:16:57,694 --> 01:16:59,163
I get it.
1412
01:17:00,931 --> 01:17:02,132
You do?
1413
01:17:04,635 --> 01:17:07,402
You love me.
1414
01:17:07,404 --> 01:17:11,307
It's just not
a romantic kind of love.
1415
01:17:11,309 --> 01:17:13,244
It's a friend kind of love.
1416
01:17:14,244 --> 01:17:16,046
Oh, Paul...
1417
01:17:19,516 --> 01:17:20,985
I'm sorry.
1418
01:17:22,286 --> 01:17:23,555
For what?
1419
01:17:25,256 --> 01:17:27,455
That I'm not smart.
1420
01:17:27,457 --> 01:17:30,394
What? No. No.
1421
01:17:31,695 --> 01:17:33,631
You're the smartest guy I know.
1422
01:18:12,069 --> 01:18:14,506
This is the sloppiest tub death
I've ever seen.
1423
01:18:18,609 --> 01:18:21,477
It's weird how they all have
some kind of red dye
1424
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:23,178
on their lips now.
1425
01:18:23,180 --> 01:18:25,115
Yeah, it's totally weird, right?
1426
01:18:31,021 --> 01:18:33,388
Her elderly,
physically-decrypted husband
1427
01:18:33,390 --> 01:18:35,424
from whom she stands
to inherit millions
1428
01:18:35,426 --> 01:18:37,659
somehow gets his walker up
the flight of stairs.
1429
01:18:37,661 --> 01:18:39,463
That part's actually true.
1430
01:19:02,153 --> 01:19:05,286
What is that? This one.
1431
01:19:05,288 --> 01:19:09,159
That, that's the coffee shop
where we had our first kiss.
1432
01:19:11,061 --> 01:19:13,294
What's this?
1433
01:19:13,296 --> 01:19:18,166
Uh, it's the pizza shop where
I thought we had our first kiss.
1434
01:19:18,168 --> 01:19:19,401
Oh.
1435
01:19:19,403 --> 01:19:22,137
Apparently, I was mistaken.
1436
01:19:22,139 --> 01:19:23,671
Yeah.
1437
01:19:23,673 --> 01:19:25,441
What's this one?
It's just a line.
1438
01:19:25,443 --> 01:19:28,777
No, no, no. See.
This is, this is your butt.
1439
01:19:28,779 --> 01:19:31,146
Oh.
1440
01:19:31,148 --> 01:19:33,449
Which I do like very much.
1441
01:19:33,451 --> 01:19:36,250
I know you do.
1442
01:20:01,311 --> 01:20:02,678
♪ Parmesan meatball soup ♪
1443
01:20:02,680 --> 01:20:04,178
♪ Here we go another fruit ♪
1444
01:20:04,180 --> 01:20:05,680
♪ Apple pecan pumpkin pie ♪
1445
01:20:05,682 --> 01:20:08,252
♪ Buy me a ticket
so we can fly ♪♪
1446
01:20:09,886 --> 01:20:11,355
We did it.
1447
01:20:13,123 --> 01:20:14,391
Do you yield?
1448
01:20:16,426 --> 01:20:17,694
I do.
1449
01:20:19,829 --> 01:20:21,231
Do you?
1450
01:20:23,234 --> 01:20:24,335
I do.
1451
01:21:54,490 --> 01:21:57,526
Oh, Bloyce. I'm sorry.
I-I thought you'd be done.
1452
01:21:57,528 --> 01:21:59,294
I was wrapping up.
1453
01:21:59,296 --> 01:22:01,929
I wish I can...
1454
01:22:01,931 --> 01:22:03,932
I can't believe
that I have to put this unit
1455
01:22:03,934 --> 01:22:05,834
on the market again.
1456
01:22:05,836 --> 01:22:07,702
I can't seem to keep
any tenants here
1457
01:22:07,704 --> 01:22:09,806
for more than a couple of weeks.
1458
01:22:15,011 --> 01:22:17,648
You know,
what if I moved in and...
1459
01:22:19,382 --> 01:22:21,653
Really? You wanna live here?
1460
01:22:22,853 --> 01:22:24,719
It's cheap and, uh,
1461
01:22:24,721 --> 01:22:26,888
very conveniently located.
1462
01:22:26,890 --> 01:22:31,529
And... I already know
the neighbors are nice.
1463
01:22:33,463 --> 01:22:34,996
Thank you.
1464
01:22:34,998 --> 01:22:36,934
I'm gonna get that lease.
1465
01:23:27,984 --> 01:23:30,619
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
1466
01:23:30,621 --> 01:23:33,487
♪ All of the dark
goes down the drain ♪
1467
01:23:33,489 --> 01:23:36,927
♪ Again and again and again ♪
1468
01:23:38,595 --> 01:23:41,530
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
1469
01:23:41,532 --> 01:23:44,333
♪ All of the dark
goes down the drain ♪
1470
01:23:44,335 --> 01:23:47,771
♪ Again and again and again ♪
1471
01:23:49,506 --> 01:23:52,441
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
1472
01:23:52,443 --> 01:23:55,009
♪ All of the dark
goes down the drain ♪
1473
01:23:55,011 --> 01:24:00,682
♪ Again and again and again ♪
1474
01:24:00,684 --> 01:24:03,384
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
1475
01:24:03,386 --> 01:24:05,986
♪ All of the dark
goes down the drain ♪
1476
01:24:05,988 --> 01:24:11,460
♪ Again and again and again ♪
1477
01:24:11,462 --> 01:24:13,995
♪ Wash the sad out
no more pain ♪
1478
01:24:13,997 --> 01:24:16,831
♪ All of the dark
goes down the drain ♪
1479
01:24:16,833 --> 01:24:21,469
♪ Again and again and again ♪
1480
01:24:53,970 --> 01:24:55,870
♪ Shining royal hearts ♪
1481
01:24:55,872 --> 01:24:59,141
♪ Will forever stand ♪
1482
01:24:59,143 --> 01:25:01,643
♪ Sometimes in the dark ♪
1483
01:25:01,645 --> 01:25:04,812
♪ They take my hand ♪
1484
01:25:04,814 --> 01:25:07,014
♪ Shining royal hearts ♪
1485
01:25:07,016 --> 01:25:10,050
♪ Forever love ♪
1486
01:25:10,052 --> 01:25:15,824
♪ Watching all the madness
from above ♪
1487
01:25:15,826 --> 01:25:18,058
♪ Shining royal hearts ♪
1488
01:25:18,060 --> 01:25:20,728
♪ Forever stand ♪
1489
01:25:20,730 --> 01:25:23,531
♪ Sometimes in the dark ♪
1490
01:25:23,533 --> 01:25:26,500
♪ They take my hand ♪
1491
01:25:26,502 --> 01:25:29,070
♪ Shining royal hearts ♪
1492
01:25:29,072 --> 01:25:31,973
♪ Forever love ♪
1493
01:25:31,975 --> 01:25:37,711
♪ Watching all the madness
from above ♪
1494
01:25:37,713 --> 01:25:39,815
♪ Shining royal hearts ♪
1495
01:25:39,817 --> 01:25:42,784
♪ Forever stand ♪
1496
01:25:42,786 --> 01:25:45,553
♪ Sometimes in the dark ♪
1497
01:25:45,555 --> 01:25:48,190
♪ They take my hand ♪
1498
01:25:48,192 --> 01:25:50,858
♪ Shining royal hearts ♪
1499
01:25:50,860 --> 01:25:53,727
♪ Forever love ♪
1500
01:25:53,729 --> 01:25:58,535
♪ Watching all the madness
from above ♪♪
1501
01:27:41,139 --> 01:27:46,139
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
112028
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.