Original subtitles

Thanks. What's the idea of the pictures, mister?

Why didn't you tell me? Look at my hair!

What's so special about this place?

It's news, soldier.

This theater went through the Blitz and never missed a single performance.

No kidding?

Aye. And one of your lassies is in on it, too.

Rosalind.

She's an American.

Wonderful thing, lend-lease.

Mind if I get some stuff from here, Sam?

Make yourself at home.

There isn't one of them girls that couldn't be on the cover of your magazine.

Oh, can't you stay off my feet?

Hold it.

Wait till you see it.

A six-page spread glorifying the Music Box Girls.

Come on, girls. We're on.

Now, Miss Bruce, Just one of you. Something informal.

Surely.

This ought to help the circulation.

This'll do more for the blood pressure.

Just one more.

Sorry. I'm on again.

Getting all the pictures you want?

There's one I'd like to get right now. The boss.

How about it, Miss Tolliver?

The only pictures I've taken now are X-rays.

Fine. We'll use them too.

Anything about the woman who kept this theater

going through the Blitz is human interest.

I'd like to get some from up high with my view camera.

Sam, show him around. I'll take over.

Come along, young man.

You were here during the Blitz, weren't you Sam?

That I was.

How was it?

Well, you were gonna take things as you find them.

How did you find them?

We didn't have to, my boy.

They found us. There.

Bombs, eh?

Yes, incendiaries.

Even that didn't stop the show?

That it didn't.

Actors are used to having things thrown at them.

I'd like to have had my camera here when things were popping.

Well, you'd have got some rare pictures.

And a story to go with it, I'll bet.

Yes, and a story to go with it.

Any special story, Sam?

A very special story.

A story that'd make you laugh if it didn't make you cry.

Would you like to hear it?

That's what I'm here for.

Well, I'll have to go back before the Blitz. Back before the war.

There was peace on Earth and bad will among men, as you might say,

but we knew the war wasn't far off.

It was in rehearsal, so to speak.

TOLLIVER: Come on, Roz. Judy, Angela, Toni, that's your cue.

All right, we'll take it from the second four.

Stop!

Judy, darling. How nice of you to drop in.

And what a lovely hat.

Now that we've all seen it, you can take it off!

Well, you see, it was this way, Tolly, I...

When I call rehearsal at 10:00, I don't mean 10:30.

What's that?

It's me, Mrs. Tolliver. I Just got it back from the pawnbroker's.

I was practicing.

I hired you as an electrician, didn't I?

But, Mrs. Tolliver, you can get all the electricians you want,

but there's only one xylophone player like me.

Well, that's encouraging.

That's right. Now, put that thing away and get back on your Job!

Very well, ma'am.

All right, girls, we'll try it now.

And I want no further interruptions.

There I'll give her right.

What do you want? Mrs. Tolliver?

Yes? I have a letter from Mr. Halliday.

Oh.

Is Jim Halliday a friend of yours?

Well, I... I know Mr. Halliday.

Obviously. What's more important is has he seen you dance?

Oh, yes. Yes, several times.

Where did you work? The Globe.

What sort of thing did you do there?

I worked at a loom.

But you Just said you danced at the Globe Theatre.

No, I said I worked at the Globe.

That's Mr. Halliday's firm. The Globe Cotton Mills.

But your dancing, where did you dance?

At the Globe.

TOLLIVER: How can you dance at the Globe?

The Globe's not a theater, it's a cotton mill.

Well, you see, when you dance, you must have a rhythm.

Naturally. And I worked at a loom.

And there's a rhythm to the way it works.

And what, may I ask, is your forte?

My what?

I mean, what sort of dancing do you do?

Oh, I see. Well, none, really. What?

I dance pretty much as I feel.

If I feel good, I dance.

If I don't feel so good...

And how do you feel now?

Hungry.

I came up on the milk train and I've had no breakfast.

I think we should see this NiJinsky from Manchester.

The name is Lawson. Tommy Lawson.

Give your music to the pianist, Mr. Lawson.

Oh, I have no music.

Then tell him what you want him to play.

Well, I... I don't rightly know.

I'm sorry we haven't a loom, Mr. Lawson.

When you're not at the mill, what do you dance to?

Oh, Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Gilbert and Sullivan.

Whatever's coming in over the radio.

Now I've heard everything. Sam.

Bring me your wireless.

Move back, girls, and give him room.

Young man, the stage is yours.

Thank you.

Oh, no, no, no. Leave it alone. I often dance to him.

Very interesting, young man.

That trick thing you did on the stairs.

Will you do it again, please?

I don't think I can. TOLLIVER: What do you mean?

Well, I don't remember the steps.

I Just make them up as I go along.

You have talent, young man, but it's a Sunday-driver sort of talent.

I wouldn't know how to use it.

Half an hour, everybody, and be back on time.

Tolly. What is it?

You're crazy if you let that boy go. He's wonderful.

Give him a chance, Tolly. Think of what he can do for the show.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Hey, Manchester, wait a minute.

Don't let Tolly get you down.

I've been a dancer all my life,

and I know dancing when I see it.

Well, I'm glad you liked it.

Hold on a minute. I liked it too.

Oh, I meant you too.

But you've got to set a routine

and do it exactly the same way every time.

And you must remember it.

It's no good. I'm going back to my loom.

Look, if you go back home now, you're licked.

You've got something to sell. Sell it.

You're very kind, both of you.

But this business of dancing the same way all the time, I can't...

You can do it.

We're going to teach you everything you know.

Go ahead, Judy.

Now watch me.

Got it? Got it.

Go ahead, try it.

All right.

Well, I've seen better and I've seen worse.

Now that's a bit of all right.

How do you know?

How do I know? I've worked in the theater 15 years.

What do you know?

What do I know?

Haven't I worked with some of the biggest managers in this business?

Go on. You cleaned their theaters, that's what.

Well, they never did nothing without asking me, "What about it?"

Come off it.

"Mrs. Peabody," they'd say.

"In or out?"

And it was usually out.

Well, what do you think now, Mrs. Peabody?

Ma'am, you did give me a nasty turn.

Well, what do you think?

In.

Put that light out.

Don't you know there's a war on?

Sorry, Mr. Warden.

It was my fault.

I Just wanted to see our names in lights before...

Pilot to navigator. Pilot to navigator. Where the devil are we?

Can't get my bearings in this bottle of ink.

Wow!

Gentlemen, we seem to have located an obJective.

Our target for tonight, sir?

We can try, gentlemen. We can try.

Changing course, sir.

Bert, cut your finale short. Here they come again.

Well, can I help it if they're early?

Ladies and gentlemen, there's a shelter under the stage.

Just pass through the doors at each side of the theater. Thank you.

This way, gentlemen.

Come on, boys. We've been invited to stay.

How do you do, Mrs. Good? Straight ahead.

Right turn down there. Right on down to the basement, folks.

No, sir. This way, sir. Right on down, sir.

This way. Right turn, right on down to the basement.

Move along now, folks.

I wish I had my makeup off and was home in bed.

Well, wishing won't get you there.

Nor you either, chum.

I haven't slept a wink for nights.

Oh, neither have I. I'm exhausted.

Last night, the man next to me snored for hours.

I'll never sleep in the underground again.

Alfred, don't make so much noise.

Sorry, is that yours?

You mean to say you've never heard of The Great Waldo and his xylophone?

Can't say I have. That's me.

Twenty years ago. And this is my xylophone.

We were a great act. Evidently.

A great act.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Scared?

Naturally.

So am I.

Well, that's not very comforting.

That's like having a lifeguard say

he's afraid of the water.

Oh, I don't mean this. I mean you.

You did a little bombing tonight yourself,

you know.

That dance you did.

In fact, you bombed from a very low altitude.

It was not only unfair, it was practically illegal.

Well, I'm sorry.

You should be.

I hope I didn't hit anything vital.

You knocked out my whole communicating system,

if that's any concern to you.

I think you should have supper with me

and sort of help put me together again, don't you?

No.

You don't?

No.

You haven't any conscience at all, have you?

I have a perfectly beautiful conscience

but I also have a date.

Yeah, naturally.

But you could switch it.

I've only got tonight and tomorrow night.

I'm sorry, but I...

Have you ever been to the 299 Club?

Never.

You'll like it enormously.

I've no doubt about it, but...

They've got the hottest band in London,

imported from America.

You are an American, aren't you?

St. Louis.

It'll sound like a letter from home.

For a man whose communicating system is out of order,

you're doing awfully well.

Am I?

What must you be like when it's working?

You'll see.

Tolly, that last one got the Cumberland Theater. A direct hit.

That's the first hit they've had in 10 years.

All clear!

Goodnight, Tolly.

TOLLIVER: Good night, girls.

Roz, I've got to make a telephone call to the sector chief.

You and Judy go ahead to Philippe's.

Oh, by the way, goodnight.

You don't really mean that?

I mean Just that.

I wish you a very good night.

Do you know something? You are a very, very naughty child.

Why? Why did you not tell Annette?

I would've fixed you... What?

...a really big celebration. Celebration?

And you are Just as bad as she is.

Why keep away from me those secrets?

What are you talking about, Annette?

Many happy returns of the day.

A little birthday party for you.

Oh.

Hmm. Very nice.

Champagne. Flowers.

How beautiful. And look, Judy, candy too.

Oh, it's really nothing.

Too bad. It isn't my birthday.

It isn't? What do you know about that, Madame Annette?

It's not her birthday.

No?

Such a pity. Oh, please stay.

Well, if you decide it is your birthday, Roz,

I'll meet Tommy somewhere else.

Oh, no. I'm expecting all of you. Oh?

We might as well, Judy.

If I don't admit it's my birthday, I shudder to think

what holiday he might declare.

Intelligent girl.

Oh, no. No, I know when I'm licked, that's all.

Here we are.

Thank you.

Mmm.

For you.

Champagne.

What are you trying to do, launch something?

That's an idea.

I christen thee beautiful friendship, very beautiful.

He's very charming, your aviator.

I remember during the last war.

So watch out!

I been hearing nothing from you for the past three days,

except that you're a Blitz grandmother.

Blown clean out of bed, my daughter was.

And her baby was born underneath it.

The air raid warden said it must have been a special kind of a bomb.

Hitler's secret weapon, I suppose.

What? It ain't everybody that can have a baby in an air raid.

Well, it could happen to anyone.

I'd like to see it happen to me!

Goodnight, Mr. Lawson. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

ROSALIND: Come in.

Mmm-hmm. Let me take a look at you.

What you can do to a dress!

Thank you, Tommy.

You know, I was Just thinking.

If I saw you somewhere and didn't know you...

I'm awfully glad I know you, Roz.

So am I, Tommy.

If only someone from Manchester could be in Philippe's

to see me walk in with you.

Oh, I'm sorry, Tommy, but I can't have supper with you and Judy.

I have a date. The Air Force again?

Mmm-hmm.

Whose birthday is it tonight?

Nobody's.

No, of course not. What is it this time?

His uncle's silver wedding or the Chinese New Year?

No, it's old home week.

I'm going to meet a fellow from his outfit. His name's Chuck Brown.

And he's from St. Louis, same as me.

Oh, no, Roz.

Sure he is. It's a small world, isn't it?

I'm disappointed in him.

I thought he'd pull a better one than that.

Who? Lundy.

Roz, that's the oldest dodge in the world.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

Perhaps there is a Chuck Brown.

Of course there is, or Paul wouldn't say so.

Well, where are you meeting?

I don't know. Why?

I'll bet it's his apartment.

It's such a comfortable place to wait.

In case Mr. Brown is delayed.

I'll also bet you that sometime during the evening

there'll be a convenient message from Mr. Brown...

Thanks, Tommy.

But I think I'm as good a Judge of people as you are.

Woman's intuition, eh?

That's right.

Woman's intuition is an old established custom, Tommy.

Good night, Judy.

Good night, Roz.

You two been having a row? Oh, no, no.

Just bustling her off to meet Prince Charming.

Oh.

Shows what a uniform can do.

I like your eyes, even if the army doesn't.

Come on, Tommy. I've got a date too, you know.

Thank you, sir. All right.

Uh-uh, mustn't smile.

It lights up the street so much the warden will be running us in.

We're going to have supper at my apartment.

It's more comfortable there.

Temple Gardens.

Now you can smile.

Good evening.

Beg pardon, sir.

Yes? This letter came for you, sir.

A gentleman from the Royal Air Force left it.

Thank you.

Here's where I lived before I Joined up.

It's very nice.

Oh, you've no idea how your being in it improves it.

Make yourself at home. I'll find us something to drink.

Aren't you going to read your note?

Oh, may I?

Of course. It might be something...

Well, unexpected.

No, I, I rather expected this.

It's from a very forgetful man.

I'll be right back. I suppose you'd like ice?

I want to warn you, this really isn't a cocktail.

It's a deadly love potion, brewed from an ancient recipe that...

What's the matter?

I Just did something awful.

Impossible.

I read your letter.

It's awfully bad manners and I never did anything like that before but I...

I Just had to, don't you see?

Well, there's no reason why you shouldn't have read it if you wanted to.

It was Just from... I know, but...

For goodness' sakes, give me a drink.

You know, at home, I used to read books about England.

The hero always lived in rooms like this.

Fine old building with lots of tradition.

Cheerful fire, oak-paneled walls.

Old, worn leather armchairs.

Solid and substantial.

It's very reassuring. Oh?

Yes?

Of course. Send him up at once.

Who's that?

My father.

He doesn't look as if he likes me very much.

Well, if he looks a bit startled,

you're probably the first actress he's ever seen in his life.

Excuse me.

Anything more, sir? No, that'll be all. Thanks. Good night.

Good night, sir.

Good night, Miss.

If we get hungry.

He isn't coming, is he? Who?

Chuck Brown.

Oh darling, you really wouldn't have liked him at all.

Very rude fellow. Not your type.

Of course, I didn't find all these things out until...

Rosalind, please, say you're glad he isn't coming.

Doesn't matter.

Rosalind.

I discovered something very interesting tonight. Do you know that?

What?

That woman's intuition is highly overrated.

I've discovered something too.

Really?

Well, don't you want to hear what it is?

It's something you yourself said last night.

I? What?

Listen.

I'm glad this is not an example of British strategy,

or I'd be very worried about the outcome of the war.

Hello.

Hello!

You're home early.

Oh, is it early? I hadn't noticed.

Didn't you have a nice time?

Oh, sure, grand.

Well, tell me about it. Where did you go?

Oh, well, we ended up at Paul's apartment.

There wasn't any man from St. Louis.

He didn't show up, he wasn't meant to show up.

It was Just one of Paul's little ideas.

It was Just one of those things.

I thought Paul was different. But...

Oh, Judy, how I wanted him to be different.

To be here, or not to be here,

that is the question, old man.

No, old boy, that's the answer.

What's happened to my call to the Music Box Theatre, London?

I've been waiting more than...

But she can't refuse the call, can she?

Oh, she can.

These are for you, sir, they're marked, "Return to sender. "

Yes, I know. I know. What shall I do?

Well, have you a mother?

Why, yes, sir. That's it.

Thank you, sir.

It's sensational, sir. Music, dancing, girls.

Everything the men want.

Oh, I don't know. We've got Shakespeare booked on Sunday.

I'm not saying a word against Shakespeare, he's very well thought of.

But a thing like this has its points too, sir.

I mean, in its own way, it's quite educational.

I'll put in a request for them.

Thank you very much, sir.

Oh, could you mark it "urgent," sir,

in case any of the young ladies has other plans?

What?

Oh, yes. Yes, quite.

I'm sorry.

They really gave it to us tonight.

The streets are full of bricks and glass.

We can't even get home. This is the last straw.

Oh, I can't remember when I've had a good night's sleep.

Well, aren't the buses running?

Nothing's running.

Nothing's even walking.

Well, look who's here. Mary, queen of the war effort.

Where's the colonel?

Waiting for me at the 299 Club.

My taxi couldn't get through.

Why didn't he send a tank for you?

I don't know what my ma will say, not going home.

So you had to come back too?

Couldn't take the girls to supper and we couldn't take them home

so we brought them back to you.

It's no good, children, we can't go on like this.

It's going to get worse instead of better.

You're not gonna close the Music Box, are you?

What about us? Ain't we got our rights?

It's easy for you chaps.

You're only in for one show, we do five a day.

Don't close up.

There aren't many theaters left open.

I'm on a minesweeper. These shows are nice to come home to.

You can't do it, Tolly. They're right.

If they wanna come, you've got to stay open.

I don't know how we're going to do it,

but if that's the way you want it, lads,

we'll have a try at it.

All right, girls, say goodnight to your friends.

Goodnight, boys.

Well, wake me up for the first show, somebody.

My poor dogs, are they barking!

I could sleep standing up.

Well, it's better than trying to get home. That's all I can say.

If we've still got a home.

Of course we've got a home.

What's the matter with staying right here in the theater?

Live in the theater? But what about my social life?

No, thanks, I'm not running any home for actors.

Oh, we won't be any trouble, Tolly.

All we have to do is put mattresses in the dressing rooms.

I can imagine you people together 24 hours a day.

A thing like that breeds murder.

Oh, we'd behave like lambs, Tolly.

We could pool our ration points

and rig up a kitchen and canteen upstairs.

Come on, Tolly, it'd be fun.

Very well. If all of you want to try it, I'll agree.

You've made your beds, now you can sleep in them. Good night.

Good night!

Everybody up! Come on, girls.

Eight o'clock. Up you get. Show a leg.

ROSALIND: Oh, have a heart, Sam.

Can't we even sleep on Sunday morning?

Not this Sunday, you can't.

You've got a date with the Air Force. All of you.

Well, I've seen better landings.

Sorry, sir. Not bad, we made it in 55 minutes.

We're in luck, sir. The show's still on.

Yes. I'm afraid my devotion to the drama isn't as great as yours, Lundy.

I suppose you want me to take these reports to Control, sir.

No. Never mind.

The war's taken up quite enough of your time this evening, Lundy.

Thank you very much, sir.

Hello.

I couldn't wait until after the show to see you.

You are going to talk to me, aren't you?

What about?

Rosalind, please.

So I acted like an idiot.

But you can't rule a man out for trying, can you?

After all, even a dog is entitled to one bite.

Now, wait a minute.

I don't mean that literally. I Just mean that...

I know exactly what you mean.

"We're grown up, we're modern, we know what it's all about.

"And remember, darling, there's a war on. "

Routine number three.

That isn't a routine, it's true.

There is a war on.

And it gives us so little time.

Don't let's waste it, Rosalind.

Please don't let's waste it.

Aren't you convinced yet that I'm...

I'm convinced of this,

I've had a very bad time since you walked out on me.

Too bad about you.

I tried to phone you, I've apologized a dozen times in letters.

Which I never opened.

Well, there you are. Is that fair?

I've tried to tell you how I feel, I...

Rosalind, you've got to listen.

I might not have another chance.

Why not?

If there is a tomorrow it's so much velvet, Roz.

Don't talk like that.

Please like me.

At least like me.

This is Miss Bruce, sir.

How do you do? How do you do?

Sorry, Lundy, but there's something big on tonight.

For you?

Evidently.

I'm sorry to have to interrupt this excellent show,

but I have an announcement to make.

All crews of Squadrons 1082, 1083 and 1084 will assemble at once

in the lecture room of this building.

The rest of you, as you were.

Please carry on with the show. Thank you.

Well, so long.

Paul!

Come back safely.

Do you want me to?

I want you to.

Come on, Paul.

Okay.

You'll let me know when...

I'll telephone you tomorrow.

In the meantime, say it over to yourself 100 times,

"Paul loves me. "

And when I get back, you'll be used to the idea.

I'm used to it right now.

I catch on awful quick

when I want to.

All right, stand at ease.

You're from the Music Box, aren't you?

Yes.

You'll be late.

Morning, ladies.

Well, that's the first time

I ever saw our Mr. Tommy take a nip.

It's the Blitz. Everything's topsy-turvy.

My old man stopped drinking.

The doctor calls it shell-shock.

Quaint, ain't it?

Hi, Judy, top of the morning.

Hello, Tommy.

Tommy creates the most original new steps.

ROSALIND: I'm sorry to keep bothering you.

Yes, I know you're not permitted to give out any information but...

Well, last night, Squadron Leader Lundy said...

Well, he said he would telephone me

and I haven't heard from him.

All I wanna know is,

did he get back?

Can't you tell me that, please?

And all the time I thought Tommy was going for you.

Oh, shut up.

I can't keep up with the love life of this opera house.

Now, when I want a man, I go after him.

Thanks for the trade secret.

Judy, you're on!

Coming, Sam.

I'm betting on Paul, Roz.

Do you think I'm not?

On with you, Judy.

Pardon me, I think I see a friend of mine in the ARP.

Hi there, pal! Is that you, Al?

Yes, come on down and bring your gal.

Hello? Yes, this is the Music Box.

Who?

Oh, yes. Just a moment, I'll get her.

For you.

Hello.

Paul!

Oh, Paul!

Are you all right?

I didn't know what had happened.

I thought you were...

I was afraid that...

Of course I've been saying it.

Yes, it sounds wonderful.

Where are you?

I'm here, in London,

on my way back to my unit.

I ran into a little trouble, force landed in Scotland.

I'm going to see you, aren't I?

You're not going back right away?

There's an eight o'clock train tomorrow morning.

I've got to be on it.

That'll give us 10 whole hours, darling.

Hello.

Hello.

Begging your pardon, sir, but we are going somewhere, aren't we?

Oh, yes, yes. I'm sorry. We...

Where to?

We've never been by ourselves in our whole life.

Do you realize that?

Do I realize it?

Well, once.

Bu we don't talk about that, do we?

No, we don't talk about that.

Thanks.

Besides, you're forgiven.

How about me forgiving you too, governor, and let's be off.

Oh, yes, yes. Uh...

There must be somewhere we can go.

There's only one place

we could be by ourselves, isn't there?

Can't we go there?

My place?

Why not?

I love you.

I love you.

It's all so beautiful it fair makes me heart bleed.

Can't we love and trust each other

and still drive around the park a bit?

No, cabby, my place.

I don't want to be nosy, governor,

but it would be much easier if I had your address.

Now, wouldn't it?

Oh, I'm sorry, Temple Gardens.

DRIVER: Thank you, sir.

Would you like to take cover, sir?

No, thanks, we'll go on.

ARMY OFFICER: Sorry, sir, would you mind giving up this cab? It's urgent.

Certainly, go right ahead.

It's not very far to my place.

I don't suppose you can make it though, in those high heels?

I go everywhere in high heels.

Come on, let's go!

What a climate! The one night you'd beg for fog,

and look at that silly moon, absolutely blazing away!

Isn't that your flat?

That was my flat.

Have you ever been asleep with the girl you love

on the embankment, in the early morning?

Quite frankly, I haven't.

Opens up a whole new line of thought.

I'm going to marry her, you know.

Does she know anything about it?

I suppose so.

I haven't actually mentioned it to her yet, but...

Good heavens! You don't suppose she wouldn't?

Well, it's happened, I imagine.

Hey, what's your hurry?

What's my hurry? I'm going to telephone her.

Oh, no you don't.

The old man wants to see you.

Now!

Now? Now.

Don't worry, Roz.

If something had happened to Paul, you'd have heard by now.

Bad news travels... Yes, I know.

But it's been nearly two weeks, Judy,

and they're always back in six or eight hours, if...

If they're coming back.

Judy, look!

It's Paul's observer.

Yes. That means...

Hello, Leslie.

Oh, Miss Bruce, Miss Kane.

When did you get back? Is Paul all right?

I imagine he's quite all right.

We haven't seen him, exactly.

You haven't?

No. You see, we've been on 14-days leave.

Yes, and as you can imagine, we've been putting it to pretty good use.

Yes. Well, have you all been on leave?

Yes. Yes.

All the squadron, in fact.

We've sent the second team in.

Well, I think we've got to be getting along.

Yes, goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Miss Bruce. Goodbye.

Oh, and have a nice time.

Thank you. Goodbye. Thank you.

Now, wait a minute, Roz.

Perhaps Paul had to help the second team or something.

You know better than that.

If they're on leave, he's on leave.

You saw how they acted, didn't you?

Men are so beautifully loyal.

Oh, Miss Bruce. Here's a message for you.

Oh.

"Oh," what?

Read it.

"Dear, Miss Bruce. I'm Paul's father.

"I'm in town and shall come to see the performance tonight.

"I would like very much to have a few words with you afterwards

"if it is convenient.

"Yours faithfully, Gerald Lundy. "

What does he want?

It's very simple, darling.

He wants to explain to me that he's allergic to grocers' daughters

who go on the stage.

Well, I'll give him that pleasure.

I'll explain to him that I have a few allergies myself.

And one of them is weak-kneed squadron leaders!

Third row, center.

It's too bad I have this costume on.

I'd like to have made his visit really worthwhile.

Take care of that one, Fred. You come with me.

Take it easy. There.

Have off with his cloak.

Sam, you'd better set the Gypsy number.

It's no good. There's no room for them to work.

The rigging's stuck. I can't fly the drop.

We'll have to stop the show for 15 minutes.

Very well.

Oh, Mrs. Tolliver!

You don't have to stop the show. Let me go on.

What?

Oh, let me do my act.

I have all me props here. I've always had them here.

Oh, Fred.

But, Mrs. Tolliver, 20 years ago...

I know. You knocked them cold.

What do you think, Sam?

Well, what have we got to lose?

All right, Fred.

I'm on. I'm on!

Don't worry, miss.

He was a bit of all right in his day.

How do you know?

I cleaned the theater where he worked 20 years ago.

Of course, it won't be the same without Lucy.

Lucy?

Oh, she was the other half of the act.

The better half.

Do you remember what they did?

Oh, like it was yesterday.

Come with me.

Will you tell Bert to follow me,

Bert, Fred's going on to do his act.

Now, how do you know it's worse than the Blitz?

Well, who'd you expect, Bing Crosby?

Are you ready, maestro? Let's torture the customers.

Wait a minute. Wait.

Save the wood, boys, it may be a cold winter.

for you with sound effect.

Wait a minute.

I'm gonna let you pop the bag.

I'm gonna let you pop the bag.

You take the bag. You take the bag. Take the bag.

I'll play the music.

When I give you the cue, you pop the bag.

Whoopee! AUDIENCE: Whoopee!

Thank you, folks, thank you.

He didn't do it.

Look, give me the bag. Give me the bag.

You don't get the idea. Look here.

Give me the bag.

How do you expect to pop without blowing it up?

Now watch. Okay.

Whoopee! AUDIENCE: Whoopee!

Thank you, folks, thank you.

What's the matter? Are you too good to pop?

AUDIENCE: No!

You're going to get it anyhow.

Oh, listen to the mockingbird.

Ah. Wait a minute.

I'm gonna give you another chance.

Here. You take the bird whistle there.

You take the bird whistle. Take the bird whistle.

In this number, when I say,

"Oh, listen to the mockingbird... "

"Oh, listen to the mockingbird" is the cue for the bird whistle.

Do you get it? Yes.

Whoopee! AUDIENCE: Whoopee!

Thank you, folks, thank you.

I forgot to mention, in this number,

I do a very clever imitation of the mockingbird in flight.

Do you like it?

Here it is.

Well, what did you want me to do? Break me leg?

The guy's balmy.

But I'm all right.

Look, the time to pop is over.

Now it's the bird effect. The bird effect.

Give me the bird.

That is the last straw! Take it easy.

Take it easy. Take it easy now.

Oh, all right, all right. Whoopee!

AUDIENCE: Whoopee!

Thank you, folks. Thank you.

Boys, a chord in D.

And now I...

I've lost me dickey.

I have a very beautiful thing and I'm gonna play for you.

When you hear me play this,

you'll wish you were anywhere but here.

Are you ready, professor? Let's give them one.

You can believe it or not, but one night,

I played 108 choruses of this.

Give them another one, boys.

Miss Bruce?

This way, sir.

Come in.

How do you do? I'm Paul's father.

I know. This is my friend, Miss Kane.

Her best friend. And I'm staying.

Oh, I'm sure if Miss Bruce doesn't obJect, I don't.

I'm very much afraid I've taken on a difficult task.

You'll be surprised how easy it's going to be.

Sit down, Mr. Lundy.

Judy.

Have you heard from my son in the last two weeks?

Well, I haven't kept track of the time exactly. I...

You know I haven't, Mr. Lundy.

Neither have I.

You haven't?

But he's here in London, isn't he? His friends were...

Oh, no.

No. He was detailed for a special mission of some sort.

That much I did learn.

Something quite important, I believe.

Important enough to take him away from his own squadron.

I received a trunk with books

and personal belongings yesterday.

You mean something's happened?

Oh, no. No.

I believe that during his absence,

his squadron is being moved to another station, that's all.

Oh!

Uh, yes.

Among the things he sent home

was this Bible.

The one I gave him when he enlisted.

This is precisely the way it came.

Your photograph,

with a page of the theater program.

See where he's written? "This is for her. "

What's he trying to suggest? Rosalind needs a Bible?

Quiet, Judy.

I didn't disturb a thing.

Here is where your picture was,

in First Corinthians.

First Corinthian is one of Paul's epistles.

The Saint Paul.

My Paul was named after him.

Hopefully.

Do you think he's trying to tell me something or...

She means maybe it's a,

you know, a code or something.

Maybe. Let's see now.

"In concerning the things whereof,

"defraud ye not one the other,

"for I would that all men were even as I was.

"Therefore I say, tis better to marry... "

What was that last one?

"Tis better to marry... "

Mr. Lundy, look!

The words "This is for her"

come right opposite "Tis better to marry. "

Do you suppose that...

That's the way I translated it.

Well, I'll be...

I admit it is an extraordinary way to propose to a girl.

What do you think?

What do you think?

I hope you're going to accept.

Oh, dear.

The last time I proposed

was 27 years ago.

I seem to have lost my technique.

Will you marry us, Rosalind?

Of course, I will.

Tolly, Angela, Toni, Joan, Tommy!

Apparently your betrothal is being announced.

It has every sanction I know.

Goodbye, my dear.

Goodbye.

What I've learned about the theater tonight

has made me very humble

and very proud.

It's nice to know that my daughter is a soldier,

as well as my son.

Tommy, Tommy! Have you heard...

Why, what's the matter, Tommy?

Nothing.

I'm wondering what's gonna happen to the deal we all made

to stick to the Music Box for the duration.

But I'm not going to leave the Music Box.

Paul's got his Job and I've got mine.

Don't make me laugh.

All Mr. Paul has to do is raise his finger

and you'll come running, wherever he is.

Tommy!

You're kidding, aren't you?

The only person I've been kidding is myself.

I had a lot of funny ideas about you,

only they're not so funny now.

I never got around to telling you, Roz, but,

I'm in love with you.

Or thought I was, or used to be...

I don't know, you sort it out.

Paul's back, isn't he?

No, Roz, it's his group captain.

He's waiting in your dressing room.

Oh, Sam!

Now, now, take it easy.

Is he... Did anything... Good morning, Miss Bruce.

I'm sorry.

You can tell me.

I only wanted to tell you that Paul's back in the country

and he'll be here tomorrow, Miss Bruce.

Oh!

And to explain that he's been on a secret mission.

You read about the conference overseas?

Now, when a personage like that has to be flown somewhere,

we choose a pretty good pilot to fly him.

And your Paul's a pretty good pilot, Miss Bruce.

You must think I'm awfully silly,

but I saw the car outside, and I...

I had to be in London for the day,

so I thought I'd save you 24 hours of worry.

Thank you.

Thank you ever so much.

Roz, Roz.

I'm all right.

I'm not crying, I'm laughing.

Oh, Judy.

Paul's coming back.

Oh!

Roz, the Air Ministry have agreed.

Hello.

Hello, Tommy. How are you? So you're back, eh?

A fine welcome too. That's a nice...

What would you do with a girl who turns you down?

Turns you down?

Yes, here I am with something I never counted on.

A real honeymoon. A long one in Canada.

I'm being sent there.

And she tells me she's going to stay here in the theater.

But Paul, don't you... Oh, no, she's not.

She's going to Canada.

There you are. Tommy knows what he's talking about.

Not always, but I do now.

Good luck, Roz, and lots of happiness.

Everybody on stage for the finale.

Places quickly.

And if you're still in town when that ship sails for Canada, I'll fire you.

Good luck, Roz. Good luck.

Have you seen Tommy, Fred?

Tommy?

Well, now, come to think of it, yes. Where?

Heading across the street to the pub, Judy.

Thanks.

Hello, Judy.

Hello, Tommy.

Thought I'd have a little celebration on my own. Join me?

Thanks. Sherry, please.

Have you got something to celebrate, Tommy?

Certainly.

When an old pal gets married it calls for a private toast from her two best friends.

To Roz.

To Roz.

It's going to be sort of empty without her, isn't it, Tommy?

Oh, yes. Yes. Sure.

Especially to us.

We started something, the three of us.

And now?

Well, take one away from three and you've got two.

A nice comfortable figure, two.

A very nice figure, two.

You were very sweet to Roz, Tommy.

I could kiss you for it.

Well, who's stopping you?

That was a close one.

I hope everyone's all right. What happened?

Any damage, Sam?

Pretty near.

Has anyone seen Tommy?

He should be on the roof on fire watch. He's not there.

He must be in his dressing room.

Roz!

Well, he must be someplace in the theater.

If he is, we can't find him.

The pub! They got the pub!

Stand back there. Keep under cover.

Tommy wasn't at the party.

No, he wasn't. I didn't see him.

Judy!

Where's Judy?

Dear God, please!

Not Judy, not Tommy.

Oh, Paul, I can't stand it. I've got to go.

Rosalind, you mustn't.

Judy?

And Tommy.

Overture and beginners.

Better call it off, Sam. We can't go on.

We can't do that, Mrs. Tolliver.

That's the way it is.

One falls out, another steps in.

Soldier or civilian.

Very well, Sam.

We'll have to make some changes in the running order.

Let me see.

Switch the gold number next to the opening, and,

Tolly.

Don't cut Judy's number. I'll do it.

Okay, Roz.

We'll have it next to the closing.

Children, the curtain's going up.

Make it a great performance.

Oh, Paul!

You don't have to tell me. I know.

You're staying.

You...

You understand?

I understand.

And what we need

is a few more guys from St. Louis.

Oh, darling.

You know, she's a pretty good saleslady when she gets started.

I'll walk Mr. Haines back to his car.

Why don't you two talk business?

Okay, Arnie, I'll handle it.

Mr. Everett, what's the first Saturday night you've got available?

Well, let's see. Next Saturday is booked.

You'd never think I'm not 18 yet, would you?

Is that a warning?

Everyone thinks I act much older.

You add me to the list, then.

How'd you manage to get like that, anyway?

Oh, I decided ages ago there wasn't much point in acting too young.

Just old enough, huh?

I like men.

Why shouldn't I be frank about it?

All women do.

They just don't come out and say so.

Where'd you learn that stuff?

Arnie, are there gonna be reporters and men taking pictures the night you're here?

They'll be invited.

I think my father would like it if I were your date that night.

How do you know he'd like it?

Oh, he'd like it if I told him.

Oh, I see.

Miss Everett, look, I'm a lot older than you are, you know?

There. Now I just grew up five years.

See you, Arnie.

Great catfishes, Arnie! Where you been?

What's the matter, Molly?

The phone hasn't stopped ringing since you left the house this morning.

Newspapers?

Newspapers, your television sponsor, newsreels,

and a fellow named Ted Collier called from New York 13 times.

Wow, we didn't get in touch with Collier.

The office must be going crazy.

I'll get him right now.

Hey, who is this Collier character?

He runs the theatrical agency booking our act.

I gotta go with Alan, honey.

But Ted...

Ted, I'm trying to tell you that...

Ted, if you'll just listen to me.

Give me that, will you?

Teddy?

Ted, this is Arnie.

Well, if you'd just be quiet for a minute and listen,

maybe we could get someplace.

Yeah, we read the papers. We read all the papers.

We may have an angle, though, to overcome the whole mess.

We're gonna run a rock and roll show in the next town.

We want to prove something to Arline MacLaine.

Yeah, we know, but if we can get her to change her mind

and write in her column that rock and roll is a good influence for the kids...

it'll be a solid argument for us.

Yeah, Ted.

Yeah, we think so, too.

You can help us a great deal.

I'll need the best rock and roll acts you can get. The best, though.

Yeah!

Wow!

Yeah, that's great. That'll do it. Thanks.

The date?

Saturday. Write it down, will you?

Saturday, July 17th?

17th, yeah.

July 17th.

Thank you, Ted. Thanks very much.

Yeah, me, too.

Well, we're all set.

Bill Haley and his Comets, Little Richard and his combo...

The Treniers, have all been canceled out on their dates because of the bad publicity we started.

You started.

But those are the acts that are coming here.

Wow. That's the best in the business.

You bet your life.

That's $1 million worth of talent on one stage.

Wow, Friesville won't ever forget that, I bet.

I'll tell the boys all about it, and I'll handle all the arrangements.

One arrangement I gotta handle myself.

Miss Francine MacLaine, please.

Now, would you mind telling me why you had me come way out here?

You saw that stuff your mother wrote about me.

It was horrible.

I'm worried.

Francine, I'm worried about the dance.

A woman like Arline MacLaine...

she'll never eat her words.

Please believe me. She isn't like she sounds in that column.

Not really.

She can be very warm and human and honest.

Wish I could believe that.

I know. Sometimes she goes smashing into things like Carrie Nation with a hatchet.

But she's not small.

She'd gladly eat her words, if only we could convince her.

I don't know.

Honestly, Arnie.

If you don't know her, I guess nobody does.

We'll go ahead with the dance.

Good.

You know, I've been keeping my ears open in town.

You'd be surprised at the things I found out.

Such as?

We have to make sure that Mayor Bagley doesn't hear of it.

That's for sure.

He has to make himself look good for the next election.

He knows if you prove him wrong, he's gonna look like a fool.

So that's it. Reelection.

It figures.

The only way we can advertise now is by word of mouth.

The kids will have to pass it on from one to the other.

My sister, Molly, can start the ball rolling.

And I've made friends with a group of kids from the little theater.

Good.

They can help spread the word around.

Very good.

But do me a favor.

Don't tell your mother about the dance until the very last minute.

Don't worry. I won't.

Hey.

Where does your mother think you are tonight?

At a hog calling contest.

Please don't tell her you were dating the head hog caller.

Hey, I gotta get you home before she gets the bloodhounds out. Let's go.

Arnie Haines, Friesville Palladium.

Arnie Haines, Friesville Palladium.

Friesville Palladium.

The Arnie Haines Show, Friesville Palladium.

The Arnie Haines Show, Saturday night, Friesville Palladium.

The Arnie Haines Show, Saturday night.

The Arnie Haines Show, Friesville Palladium, Saturday night.

Let's rip it up!

Well, Mother, how does it look?

As if they all need a sedative.

But you must admit, it's just dancing. That's all.

These kids aren't doing anything wrong.

Well, darling, how can I tell?

They all move so fast, it looks like a double exposure.

You promised you'd report only what you saw here, nothing else.

If you do that, I'll be satisfied.

I made a bargain with you, baby. I'll live up to it.

Where's your boyfriend?

Boyfriend?

Now, Francine, you don't honestly believe that I thought

you were going to hog calling and pie baking contests?

Those were the best things I could think up.

Are you in love with him?

I don't know.

I hope so. I'd like to be.

Francie, you could do so much better.

I'm also old enough to be entitled to my own mistakes, Mother.

All right, darling.

I'm afraid this is as far as our date goes, Sunny.

I have other things to do.

Oh, you won't have any trouble finding boys to dance with here.

No trouble at all.

But I'll be seeing you later.

Well, I'm not sure.

I am.

You won't be on the stage all night.

Do we dig?

Consider it dug.

Good evening, Mrs. MacLaine.

Miss MacLaine.

Congratulations, Mr. Haines.

You must sing romantic ballads much better than I thought.

Mother. She knows.

I'm very sorry you don't think as much about rock and roll as your daughter does, Mrs. MacLaine.

Oh, she's very young, she'll get over it.

And what happens to you, Mr. Haines, when the public gets over rock and roll?

Well, if they ever do, then I'll go back to singing romantic ballads.

And I hope Francine's around to listen to them.

Check with you later.

Touche.

Touche.

Now one of the most fabulous of all rock and roll acts...

here are The Treniers!

How are we doing, Dad?

The newspaper gal digging us?

Yeah, real deep.

She sounds like she has us plowed way under already.

That's freedom of the press.

Yeah, and I always thought freedom of the press

was a tailor who ironed your suits for nothing.

Shows you.

Hey, we're on next. We better get set, fellows.

Okay. The rest of the boys are backstage.

Good.

Well, at least the latest communique from Mellondale is a good one.

Mayor Bagley is sound asleep.

Who would ever think 500 kids would keep a secret?

Looks like the younger generation has some character after all, eh?

Light up the lantern and let the bells toll 'cause that man's coming out to rock and roll.

So take off your handcuffs and take off your chains...

while we dig with the mostest of Arnie Haines!

It's intermission time. Time to rest your feet.

Then Little Richard and his cats will be here with a beat.

You got 15 minutes, so set your clocks.

And then jive on back with your rolls and rocks!

See you later.

Now, look, Sunny. I can't run out like this.

I have guests in there.

I'm your date, whether you know it or not.

But I can't...

Oh, now come on.

If the world was made in six days...

we should be able to make a little time in 15 minutes.

Boy, something tells me your father missed up on a few spankings somewhere along the line.

I parked it here just for us.

If you think I'm gonna go for a drive now...

Now, who said anything about driving?

I just want to talk. Get in.

Okay, start talking.

There.

Now I can always say I necked with Arnie Haines.

Necked?

You're the most scared man I ever did see.

I wish you were the most scared girl I ever saw.

Don't you know that in some countries, girls get married at 14?

That's it. You should go there.

By now, you'd be a great-grandmother.

You really are going to talk, aren't you?

Even if I can't think of a thing to say.

Well, try talking now.

You crazy kid!

What are you trying to do, mess me up and yourself along with me?

I could mess you up, Arnie Haines.

I could mess you up good.

Okay, if you're looking for a reason, you've got one.

And now, here's that real solid man of rock and roll...

Little Richard and Long Tall Sally.

d Gonna tell Aunt Mary 'bout Uncle John,

d He claim he has the misery but he's havin' a lot of fun,

d Oh baby,

d Yeah baby,

d Woo~

d Baby~

d Havin' me some fun tonight.

d Yeah~

d Well long, tall Sally.

d She's built for speed, she got.

d Everything that Uncle John need, oh baby,

d Yeah baby,

d Woo~

d Baby~

d Havin' me some fun tonight.

d Yeah~

d Well, I saw Uncle John with long tall Sally.

d He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley oh baby,

d Yeah baby,

d Woo~

d Baby~

d Havin' me some fun tonight, yeah Aow~

d Well, long, tall Sally.

d She's built for speed, she got.

d Everything that Uncle John need oh baby,

d Yeah baby,

d Woo~

d Baby~

d Havin' me some fun tonight, yeah~

d Well, I saw Uncle John with bald head Sally.

d He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley oh baby,

d Yeah baby,

d Woo~

d Baby~

d Havin' me some fun tonight, yeah~

d We gonna have some fun tonight,

d We gonna have some fun tonight, wow~

d Have some fun tonight.

d Everything's all right,

d Have some fun, have me some fun tonight.

Yes, what is it? What do you want?

It's Sunny Everett, Mr. Bagley.

What's wrong? Is your father sick?

No, he's fine.

I just thought you ought to know, Mr. Bagley.

There's a rock and roll show going on at the Palladium.

Well, has your father gone crazy?

Well, he needed the money.

But I don't think he knew what he was letting himself in for.

It's a mess, Mr. Bagley. Drinking and everything.

Real sinful!

Sinful, I knew it.

You better come right over.

I certainly will, immediately.

Okay, see you over there.

Right.

Okay, you want another? You've got it.

And you're going to meet the winners of the Harvest Moon contest...

Jimmy and Jovada dancing to Little Richard and Tutti Frutti.

d Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam bam!

d Tutti frutti, oh rutti. [x4]

d Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam bam!

d I got a gal, named Sue.

d She knows just what to do.

d I got a gal, named Sue.

d She knows just what to do.

d She rocks to the East.

dShe rocks to the West.

d She is the gal that I love best.

d Tutti frutti, oh rutti. [x4]

d Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam bam!

d I got a gal, named Daisy.

d She almost drives me crazy.

d Got a gal, named Daisy.

d She almost drives me crazy.

d She knows how to love me, yes indeed.

d Boy you don't know what she's doin' to me.

d Tutti frutti, oh rutti. [x4]

d Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam bam!

d I got a gal, named Daisy.

d She almost drives me crazy.

d Got a gal, named Daisy.

d She almost drives me crazy.

d She knows how to love me, yes indeed.

d Boy you don't know what she's doin' to me.

d Tutti frutti, oh rutti. [x4]

d Wop bop a loo bop a lop bam bam!

Glad Dad had you in the house.

Thank you very much.

And now you're gonna hear something real great

by those wonderful guys who work with me.

Open up your earflaps and listen to Dave Appell and The Applejacks.

Francie, I am licked.

This is the most useless two hours I have ever spent.

Nothing has happened but the most violent exercise and I simply abhor exercise.

You mean you'll retract what you said about Arnie and rock and roll?

I've swallowed bitter pills before in my lifetime.

I am sure I will live through it.

Mom, I love you.

Well, now...

You haven't said it like that since you were nine and a half.

Do we dig?

Consider it dug!

Somebody's been drinking something around here.

You don't say.

Sure, I say.

Smells like Four Roses.

Smells more like whiskey to me.

It's you.

I ain't the only one.

Oh, no, Sunny. This could be murder.

Sunny, this is gonna raise Ned.

You gotta get out of here.

No, sir.

Not before I get rid of all my liquor!

Get rid of all your...

Oh, Mother, no!

What's the matter with you, bringing liquor in here?

I didn't bring it.

What are you trying to do? Louse everything up?

I ought to slug you.

You and what glee club?

Me and a soprano's enough.

Look here!

That does it.

That washes us up for good.

It's a riot!

Yeah.

Yeah, Ted.

Yeah, I know, but the whole thing was a frame-up.

I'm telling you. That crazy Everett kid...

Yeah, all right. Goodbye, Ted.

He wants us back in New York real quick.

He says we're not only ruining ourselves.

We're ruining the entire rock and roll business.

Maybe I could murder Sunny Everett and plead self-defense.

Arnie, I'm sorry.

If I hadn't turned on so much pressure for publicity, this would never have happened.

It's not you. It's Bagley and the town and

the Carrie Nations with their hatchets, like Arline MacLaine.

Why can't they believe us about that Everett kid?

We're licked.

Let's go home and pack.

Might as well, I guess.

Yeah.

And how does the world look to Arline MacLaine's daughter this bright and cheerful day?

Oh, please...

You did our boy in good.

Just like Samson and Delilah.

Yeah, you gave him a real crew cut.

Yeah, she sure did.

All right, guys, leave her alone.

You don't have to stand there and look so self-righteous!

I believe what you said about Sunny Everett, Arnie.

Thanks.

But what I want to know is why she did it.

You want to know why?

Okay, I'll tell you. Because I'm in love with you, that's why.

Yeah, if I hadn't been so crazy as to fall in love with you...

I wouldn't have given Sunny the brush-off the way I did.

Oh, I could have buttered her up a little, at least until the dance was over.

No, I had to be real smart and fall in love with you.

You, of all people.

You, with a typewriter for a mother.

What does she do?

Stay up all night, thinking up names to call me?

I tried to argue with her, Arnie. I tried to tell her what I thought.

What do you think?

It wouldn't make any difference now.

You don't trust anything I say.

If you're gonna say something, get it over with in a hurry, because we're leaving.

You're quitting?

Let's just call it a strategic withdrawal.

But that would be admitting that they're right.

Please, listen to me.

They're not right. You are.

I even explained to my mother that

parents don't want to blame themselves for what their children are doing.

I mean, the kind that cut up classrooms and have knife fights.

They don't want to blame themselves,

so they find something like rock and roll to blame it on.

If parents would only realize that...

their children are no different than they were 25 or 30 years ago.

Boy, did you just say something.

A faceful, but what does it mean?

We're not going back to New York.

Are you kidding?

What?

We're gonna make Mayor Bagley and all the rest of them apologize to us in print

and your mother's going to help us, whether she knows it or not.

But how, Arnie?

Those kids you were telling me about in the theater group. Are they any good?

Some of them.

Where can I get them together so I can talk to them in private?

They've been rehearsing in the school auditorium.

Too public.

Alan, we're going to a place called the Lonely Barn.

Arnie, we've had enough of this talk.

Let's get back to New York.

No, sir. If we leave now, we'll never live it down.

Tell the kids to stand by, will you?

Come on, Alan, we're gonna keep the Lonely Barn from being lonely.

Arnie?

Huh?

You said you loved me.

Hey, how about that? So I did.

Well, wait till later. We'll get real profound.

Ladies and gentlemen, when Francine MacLaine...

asked me to make the opening address for this wonderful little show she's put together.

I was extremely flattered.

It isn't often that Mellondale has a chance to participate in a cultural campaign.

One designed to give a distinct, moral uplift to an entire community.

Especially in the light of recent events concerning our young people.

So, although I know absolutely nothing of what the youngsters have prepared for us.

It is with the greatest possible pride I ask you all to enjoy.

The Pageant of Art and Culture.

You mean to say you don't know what kind of a show those kids concocted?

Or have you been too busy lately getting drunk?

Nobody's been able to find out what they're up to.

And now, my friends of art and culture, we are ready to begin.

In our first offering...

We will depict the world-famous painting by Pierre Renoir entitled...

Young Girls at the Piano.

We come to another famous classic.

Lady and Gentleman Drinking Wine by Jan Vermeer,

the famed Dutch painter of the 17th century.

Are they kidding with that cornball stuff?

I wish I knew.

And now, another art form...

Which has come down through the ages is that of terpsichore.

The art of the dance.

Our first presentation will be that of a dance that was all the rage...

when George Washington was the president of our country.

Wonderful! Wonderful! Now, that's the way dancing should be done.

Like civilized people.

Oh, Dad.

And then, times changed.

And new forms of the dance came into being.

Reflecting how people had changed in a changing world.

We're sure all of you remember this dance.

We're sorry, ladies and gentlemen, if you didn't like our little offering

of the dance you yourselves used to do.

We thought it would bring back many pleasant memories for all parents

to show them that they really need not worry so much about our younger generation.

For it will grow up to be the same fine sort of people that parents are today.

Young man, you planned this whole thing deliberately.

You're trying to confuse the issue about rock and roll.

I think that maybe we're the ones who tried to confuse the issue, Mr. Bagley.

My own daughter made one point very clear to me.

She told me that we were just trying to find a scapegoat

for our own shortcomings in bringing up our children.

Rock and roll happened to be handy, so it was picked to get the blame.

I say we're wrong, and I'm ready to admit it.

Mrs. MacLaine's right. We're all a bunch of narrow-minded fools.

I'm ready to believe what Arnie Haines said about my daughter.

And I'll wale the living tar out of her hide just as soon as we get home.

Well, if it's up to me.

I'm willing to make a public apology to Arnie Haines right now.

And I hope that perhaps Mayor Bagley might do the same.

Apologize? Me, apologize to that swivel-hipped, gravel-throated...

Mayor Bagley, if you want my vote in the next election, you'll apologize.

And that goes for me, too.

Well, then, that's it.

An apology to Arnie Haines is in order.

Thank you. Thank you, Mrs. MacLaine.

But if Mayor Bagley's too embarrassed to make an apology right here and now...

he can send me a letter.

I'd love to publish it.

You'll get your letter, Mr. Haines.

But I'm apologizing right now, and I'll see that it appears in my column all over the country.

Well, then, let's get on with the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, some rock and roll terpsichore.

One, two, three, four.