All language subtitles for Love.Bites.2011.S01E06_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:04,239 - NOW THE REASON WE'RE HERE 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:07,582 IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER 3 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:11,248 TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER 4 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:14,479 WHEN LOVE WALKS IN THE ROOM 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,185 EVERYBODY STAND UP 6 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:21,059 OOH, IT'S GOOD, GOOD, GOOD 7 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,259 SAY, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 8 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,420 I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 9 00:00:23,457 --> 00:00:25,827 I LOVE YOU 10 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:30,159 TALK TO ME, DARLING, TALK TO ME, DARLING 11 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,135 [rock music] 12 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,668 13 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,443 - YOU KNOW THE ONLY DOWNSIDE OF MOVING IN TOGETHER? 14 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:39,842 DUPLICATE CDs. 15 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,683 HOW DO WE BOTH HAVE CHER'S BELIEVE? 16 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:45,249 - UM, I WON MINE IN A CONTEST. 17 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,609 - IT SAYS, "TO JEFF, KEEP BELIEVIN'." 18 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:47,677 - OKAY, LOOK. 19 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:50,615 CHER HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH SOME VERY TOUGH TIMES. 20 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,221 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 21 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,263 - YOU'RE ADORABLE. - I DO BELIEVE. 22 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,258 - [laughing] 23 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,730 - THIS IS INTERESTING. - HMM? 24 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,589 - WELL, I'M LOOKING AT OUR CABLE BILL. 25 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,828 AND ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO, 26 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,233 SOMEONE ORDERED THEMSELVES A LITTLE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT. 27 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,266 FOR $7.99. 28 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,771 AND I HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT THAT SOMEONE WASN'T ME. 29 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,244 - OH! THAT'S SO FUNNY. 30 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,214 OH, MY GOD. I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. 31 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,383 HEY! 32 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,880 - I NEVER FIGURED YOU FOR A SMUT-MONGER. 33 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:19,882 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 34 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,283 - SAID THE SMUT-MONGER. 35 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,345 - STOP IT. 36 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,323 IT WAS THAT ONE WEEK THAT YOU WERE IN SAN DIEGO. 37 00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,321 I WENT OUT FOR DRINKS WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS. 38 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,193 AND WHEN I GOT HOME 39 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,191 I WAS KIND OF IN THE MOOD, I GUESS. 40 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,592 - YOU WERE IN THE MOOD. 41 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,623 FOR... 42 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,128 HAWAII FIVE BLOWS. 43 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,400 - EW, STOP IT. IT'S NOT THE GRAPHIC SEX. 44 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,228 IT'S--I LIKE THE UNIFORMS. 45 00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:39,504 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST WATCH AN EPISODE OF RESCUE ME? 46 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:40,833 - OKAY, IT'S CONNECTED TO THE SEX. 47 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,268 - WOW. 48 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,343 I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T KNOW THIS ABOUT YOU. 49 00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,312 YOU HAVE A FETISH. 50 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,169 - I DON'T. 51 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,707 HAVE ONE OF THOSE. IT'S JUST A THING. 52 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,712 I LIKE A MAN IN UNIFORM. IT'S SEXY, WHO CARES. 53 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,405 - UNIFORM FETISH. 54 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,717 YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEBODY-- YOU DON'T. 55 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,349 SO TELL ME, SWEETHEART. 56 00:01:57,385 --> 00:02:01,415 WHAT WAS THE DIRTY, DIRTY, I'M ASSUMING FAIRLY LINEAR 57 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,615 PLOT OF THIS FILM? 58 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,556 - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 59 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:05,392 - DID SOMEBODY SAY, 60 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:06,626 "YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SEXY?" 61 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,900 - JEFF, STOP. 62 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,428 - [laughing] LET ME GUESS, LET ME GUESS. 63 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,233 SPREAD 'EM. - I'M GOING TO BED. 64 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,225 - DID THEY SAY, "SPREAD 'EM?" 65 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,366 - GOING TO BED. 66 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,171 - WHO WAS IN IT? - STOP! 67 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,413 - MIRANDA RIGHTS? 68 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,608 COME ON, THAT'S FUNNY! 69 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,609 MIRANDA RIGHTS IS FUNNY. 70 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,483 - HELLO. - HEY, BRIAN. 71 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:25,612 - HEY, I'M GLAD YOU CALLED. 72 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,846 LISTEN, DAD'S BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK. 73 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,180 SO IF YOU WANT TO GO HALFSIES ON A GIFT, JUST LET ME KNOW. 74 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,187 - OH, WHICH MEANS I GET TO PICK IT OUT, MAIL IT, 75 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,389 AND DO ALL THE WORK? 76 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,650 - YEAH, SO LET ME KNOW. SO WHAT'S UP? 77 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,317 I'M GONNA GO GET MADDY AT SCHOOL. 78 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,956 - OKAY, I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE EX-WIFE. 79 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,661 BUT, UM, DID SHE HAVE ANY, LIKE, FETISHES? 80 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,295 - WHAT? HEATHER? 81 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,631 NO, WHY? 82 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,695 DID YOU SEE HER DO SOMETHING KINKY ON THE INTERNET? 83 00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,204 BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY DARK GOING ON WITH HER. 84 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:51,237 WHAT KIND OF WOMAN JUST LEAVES HER FAMILY LIKE THAT? 85 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,942 - OKAY, NO. NO. GOD, NO. 86 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,343 NO, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT HER. 87 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,335 I'M TALKING ABOUT MY FRIEND. 88 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,836 UM, ALEXIS? 89 00:02:56,877 --> 00:03:00,347 SHE TOLD HER BOYFRIEND ABOUT SOMETHING SEXUAL SHE'S INTO. 90 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,251 AND NOW SHE FEELS STUPID AND EMBARRASSED 91 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,323 AND WISHES SHE HADN'T TOLD HIM. 92 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,251 - REALLY? ALEXIS, HUH? 93 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,946 YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNEW SHE WAS A FREAK. 94 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,487 SO WHAT IS SHE INTO? 95 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,762 WHIPS, OR BONDAGE? 96 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:10,790 OR ICE-CUBING? 97 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,464 OR RAISIN PLAY? 98 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:13,993 - NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. 99 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,627 IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT. IT'S CUTE. 100 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:18,003 THIS CUTE LITTLE UNIFORM FETISH. 101 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,531 IT'S MORE OF A TURN-ON, REALLY. 102 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,368 - YEAH, ON THE SURFACE THAT'S CUTE. 103 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:23,873 BUT FETISHES, THEY GOTTA COME FROM SOMETHING. 104 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,644 I MEAN, WHY DOES SHE SEXUALIZE A UNIFORM? 105 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:26,943 WAS HER DAD A COP? 106 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,344 DID HE NOT LOVE HER? 107 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:29,306 DOES SHE WANT TO BE DOMINATED? 108 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,543 I DON'T KNOW. 109 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,448 SHE DID NOT HAVE A HEALTHY UPBRINGING, CLEARLY. 110 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,620 - I HEAR THESE THINGS ARE A PERFECTLY NATURAL OUTLET. 111 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,778 - YEAH. 112 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,716 OR, YOU KNOW, IT COULD BE SOME KIND OF GATEWAY FETISH. 113 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,922 LIKE, ONE DAY IT'S UNIFORMS, THE NEXT SHE'S WEARING A MASK 114 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,924 AND SHE'S HAVING SEX WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRANGERS 115 00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:43,916 IN SOME FANCY MANSION. 116 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,427 - WHY DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THIS STUFF? 117 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,500 - BECAUSE I JUST WATCHED EYES WIDE SHUT ON STARZ. 118 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,269 IT'S A CHANNEL FOR LONELY MEN WHOSE WIVES HAVE DUMPED THEM. 119 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,369 ANYWAY, UM-- HEY, ABOUT DAD. 120 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,401 GET HIM SOMETHING NICE. 121 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,035 LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. 122 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,408 - BYE. - SEE YOU. 123 00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,038 - [sighs] 124 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,613 - SHOULD I BE READING BETWEEN THE LINES HERE, ELI? 125 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:07,053 I MEAN, SHE WANTS A MAN IN UNIFORM. 126 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,280 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 127 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,116 HUH? 128 00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:11,419 YOU THINK SHE WANTS A MANLIER MAN? 129 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,792 - SO WE'LL STAY AWAY FROM MALE NURSE AND EAGLE SCOUT. 130 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,392 - AM I PLAYING IT TOO SAFE? 'CAUSE I'LL DO FUN STUFF. 131 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,955 I'LL DRAW A BATH OUT OF NOWHERE. 132 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:21,432 AND SHE'LL COME HOME AND I'LL JUST BE IN IT, WAITING. 133 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,432 BUOY STYLE. COME GET CLEAN. 134 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,304 - DON'T OVERTHINK THIS, ALL RIGHT? 135 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,403 IT'S SIMPLE. 136 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,304 WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT, YOU GOTTA BRING THE CARUSO. 137 00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,396 - RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 138 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,597 I'VE JUST BEEN GETTING OFF TRACK. 139 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,608 - MAYBE BRIDGET JUST LIKES A DUDE IN UNIFORM, ALL RIGHT? 140 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,541 WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD GO WITH COP. 141 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:39,347 - IT'S A BABY DRESS. - OKAY. 142 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:42,780 WHEN YOU'RE IN A WORLD YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, 143 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,416 JUST GIVE THE LADY WHAT SHE ASKED FOR. 144 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,652 - I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. I THINK THIS IS IT, ISN'T IT? 145 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:47,517 - YEAH. 146 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,355 HEY, OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET A GUN. 147 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,060 WITH ONE BULLET, JUST FOR SUSPENSE. 148 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,331 - I THINK THAT'S PROBABLY CROSSING THE LINE. 149 00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:56,801 - YOU THINK? - [quietly] YEAH. 150 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,870 [knock on door] 151 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,328 OPEN UP IN THERE! 152 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,337 IT'S THE POLICE! 153 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,065 RRAAH! - WHOA! 154 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,706 YOU SAID OPEN UP. 155 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:08,811 YOU HAD TO KNOW I'D BE STANDING HERE. 156 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:09,982 - SWEETIE, I'M SO SORRY. 157 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,410 DID THAT HIT YOU IN THE KNEE, OR THE-- 158 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,705 - NO, I'M OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 159 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:13,946 OKAY, HEY. 160 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,551 LOOK, YOU LOOK GOOD. THIS IS GOOD. 161 00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,423 LET'S KEEP GOING. 162 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,051 - OKAY. 163 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,445 [clears throat] 164 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,458 IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN HERE, MA'AM? 165 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,920 DISPATCH JUST CALLED IN 166 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,927 A FOUR-FIVE-SIX- SEVEN-NINER-NINER. 167 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:26,959 IN PROGRESS. 168 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,404 - UH-OH. WHAT IS THAT? 169 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:31,969 - THAT'S AN ULTRA-FOX IN NEED OF A BONING. 170 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,569 - YOU SURE THAT YOU'RE UP FOR THIS...OFFICER-- 171 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:37,073 - McCAFFREY! 172 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,514 I'M ALWAYS UP FOR IT. 173 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,710 ALLOW ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE TIGHTNESS OF MY UNIFORM. 174 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,912 YOU SEE, MY PARTNER JIMMY WAS RECENTLY KILLED 175 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,875 IN THE LINE OF DUTY. 176 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,154 I'VE BEEN EMOTIONALLY EATING. 177 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,582 - JEFF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 178 00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,448 - I'M GIVING YOU, LIKE, THE WHOLE BACKSTORY. 179 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,417 JIMMY LEFT BEHIND A WIDOW. 180 00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:58,426 AND LITTLE JIMMY JR. WAS IN A TINY WHEELCHAIR. 181 00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,959 - OKAY, STOP. JUST HAVE SEX WITH ME. 182 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,064 - GET ON THE GROUND! - YES! 183 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,925 - DO IT NOW! - OKAY. 184 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:07,744 - UNFORTUNATELY, THE CAGE AT THE STATION IS EMPTY, SO... 185 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:10,098 I DON'T HAVE A GUN. 186 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:13,437 WHAT I DO HAVE... IS THIS. 187 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,884 - WHOA. 188 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,038 WHAT IS THAT? 189 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,406 - [laughing] I'LL NEED TO DUST YOUR VAGINA FOR PRINTS. 190 00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:20,406 - OKAY, ENOUGH. WE'RE NOT DOING THIS. 191 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,748 - NO! DON'T, DON'T-- 192 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:22,782 LET ME TRY AGAIN. 193 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,446 - NO, JEFF. IT'S NOT WORKING. 194 00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,185 YOU'RE LAUGHING AND I FEEL STUPID NOW. 195 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,159 - YOU FEEL STUPID? 196 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,658 I'M WEARING MY DEAD PARTNER'S HOLSTER. 197 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,890 - I KNEW THAT YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS RIDICULOUS. 198 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,655 YOU CAN JUST FORGET IT, OKAY? 199 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,964 AND CAN WE PLEASE NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN. 200 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,696 - BRIDGET, DON'T. IT'S NOT WEIRD. 201 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,101 I DON'T THINK IT'S-- EVERYBODY HAS A THING. 202 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,104 - YOU DON'T. 203 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:45,765 - YES, I DO. OF COURSE I DO. 204 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,436 - WELL, WHAT IS IT? 205 00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:52,075 - TRUST ME, YOU DON'T-- YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW. 206 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:55,752 - PLEASE TELL ME. 207 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:59,793 - ALL RIGHT. 208 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,190 I HAVE A FOOT FETISH. 209 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,221 - YOU DO? 210 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,756 - YEAH, TOTALLY. 211 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:08,102 SO YOU SEE? IT'S NOT WEIRD AT ALL. 212 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:14,974 - HE LIKES FEET. 213 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,242 MY BOYFRIEND LIKES FEET. 214 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,070 - THAT'S TOTALLY BIZARRE. 215 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,236 - NO. NO, IT ISN'T. 216 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,143 - I'M DOING SOME RESEARCH. CHECK IT. 217 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,935 IT'S CALLED A DIRTY LOAFER. 218 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,007 IT'S A SUBSET OF PODOPHILIA. 219 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,246 OH, GOD. 220 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,020 YOU DON'T WANT TO TYPE THAT INTO THE SEARCH ENGINE WRONG. 221 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,020 OOH, CARE TO SEE SOME VIDEOS OF WOMEN STEPPING IN THE MUD 222 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,552 THEN HITTING THE ACCELERATOR OF A CAR? 223 00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,957 - I DON'T THINK JEFF'S INTO THAT. 224 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,929 BUT THEN AGAIN, WHO KNOWS? 225 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,058 - SECRET LIFE. 226 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,162 IT'S HOW EVERY EPISODE OF DATELINE BEGINS. 227 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,695 - SO I LIED TO BRIDGET. 228 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,601 I SHOULD HAVE SAID PORN. WHY DIDN'T I JUST SAY PORN? 229 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,273 I COULD HAVE SAID PORN. 230 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:51,070 OR A SURPRISE HANDY IN A MOVIE THEATER. 231 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,844 - SO WAIT, WHAT EXACTLY DOES A FOOT FETISHIST DO? 232 00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:55,514 - I HAVE NO IDEA. 233 00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:59,213 - OH, GOD. IS HE GONNA LICK MY FEET? 234 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,276 - OOH, OR RUB HIS MISTER UP AGAINST THEM? 235 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,724 - EW, IF HE SUCKS ON MY TOES AND THEN KISSES ME, 236 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:04,991 I'M GONNA BE TOTALLY ICKED OUT. 237 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,948 THAT'S LIKE PUTTING MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH. 238 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:07,787 - OH. [gasps] 239 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,921 TOE-SUCKING IS CALLED "SHRIMPING." 240 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,827 SHRIMPING, I LOVE THAT. 241 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:13,689 BECAUSE TOES LOOK LIKE SHRIMP. 242 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:14,997 - ENOUGH. 243 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,298 THIS IS EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH THE INTERNET. 244 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,899 NOW I KNOW WHAT "SHRIMPING" MEANS. 245 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:22,572 BUT I WILL LET JEFF PEEL AND EAT MY FEET. 246 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,143 BECAUSE I LOVE HIM. 247 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:27,141 AND I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY. 248 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,844 - I'VE CHOSEN MY FATE. 249 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,276 I HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS NOW. 250 00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:33,250 WHY? WHY DO I HAVE TO? 251 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,250 - BECAUSE YOU'RE A LOUSY COP. AND YOU LOVE HER. 252 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,093 - BECAUSE I LOVE HER. 253 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,818 AND THUS, I LOVE HER FEET. 254 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,093 I'LL DO IT. 255 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,093 [funky music] 256 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:52,196 257 00:08:56,136 --> 00:09:00,066 OH, LOOK AT THOSE FEET. 258 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:04,707 I JUST WANT TO TASTE THOSE ARCHES. 259 00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,245 - YOU CAN-- YOU CAN GO RIGHT AHEAD. 260 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:07,309 YOU CAN DO THAT. 261 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:09,917 - OH, I WILL. [sniffing] 262 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,890 OH, GOD. 263 00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,019 THEY SMELL SO... 264 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,094 FEETY. 265 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:18,292 - HEY, WOULD IT HELP YOU IF I STEPPED IN SOMETHING? 266 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:19,285 'CAUSE I MADE A QUICK PUDDING. 267 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,026 - NO. NO, NO, NO. NO. 268 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,871 THIS IS GOOD. WHAT'S THIS? 269 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:25,998 - OH! 270 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,103 [laughing] NO, WAIT. NO, THAT TICKLES. 271 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,974 THAT TICKLES. STOP, STOP. 272 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,142 - YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? 273 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:34,710 THAT'S FOREPLAY. 274 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,382 OH, THAT'S WEIRD. - WHAT? 275 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,849 - WELL, YOUR LITTLE PINKY TOE DOESN'T ACTUALLY HAVE A NAIL. 276 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,009 - OH! 277 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,347 YEAH, WELL, I RUN A LOT. 278 00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,881 BUT I PAINT THE SKIN WHERE THE NAIL SHOULD BE, SO-- 279 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,117 - WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER ONE? 280 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:46,322 OH, MY GOD. IT IS SO CUTE. 281 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,023 LOOK AT THIS CUTE LITTLE-- NO NAIL, THOUGH. 282 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,886 - WAIT, IS IT A PROBLEM? SHOULD WE STOP? 283 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,234 - NO. NO, NO. 284 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,799 I LOVE YOUR LITTLE PERFECT LITTLE NAIL-LESS FEET. 285 00:09:55,829 --> 00:10:00,229 LIE DOWN. 286 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:04,167 I'M GONNA USE MY MOUTH TO DO STUFF TO THEM NOW. 287 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,344 HERE I COME. 288 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:09,083 HERE I COME TO FETISH YOUR FEET. 289 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:14,409 - OKAY. - MMM... 290 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,917 OOH... 291 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,020 [heavy breathing, sighing] 292 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,937 I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T DO THIS. 293 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,099 - WHAT? - OH. 294 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,707 - WHAT'S WRONG? - I SO CAN'T DO THIS. 295 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,009 OH, GOSH. 296 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,280 I DON'T--I DON'T HAVE A FOOT FETISH. 297 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,739 - WAIT, YOU DON'T? 298 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,747 - GOD, NO. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. 299 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,919 - JEFF, WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU DID? 300 00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,379 - TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 301 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,088 ABOUT YOUR WHOLE UNIFORM FETISH THING. 302 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,161 - OH, GREAT. 303 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,958 SO I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH A THING. 304 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,990 I AM WEIRD. - NO, I'M WEIRD. 305 00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,256 I'M WEIRD BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A THING. 306 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,303 LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE SEXY AND ADVENTUROUS. 307 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,170 AND YOU'RE FETISHY. AND WHAT AM I? 308 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:06,128 BRIDGET, I'M AFRAID 309 00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,196 THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET BORED OF ME BECAUSE 310 00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:12,435 I'M NOT RISQUE, AND I'M NOT COOL LIKE YOU. 311 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,142 - JEFF, THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT HAVING A FETISH. 312 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,935 I'M ACTUALLY SORT OF MORTIFIED BY IT. 313 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,847 - YOU SHOULDN'T BE. 314 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,049 EVER. 315 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,410 YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING TO ME. 316 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,348 DON'T YOU KNOW THERE IS NOTHING YOU COULD EVER SAY TO ME 317 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,153 THAT WOULD CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU? 318 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,245 - REALLY? - BABE, I MEAN IT. 319 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,217 AND I LOVE YOUR UNIFORM THING. 320 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:30,316 IT IS HOT. 321 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,327 I MEAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS, BUT IT'S HOT. 322 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,130 AND EVERYONE ELSE THINKS SO TOO. 323 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,062 - EVERYONE? DID YOU TELL ELI? 324 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,327 - NO, I--WHY? 325 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,095 DID YOU TELL ALEXIS ABOUT THE FOOT THING? 326 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,873 - NEVER. NO. 327 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,273 - ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT THIS. 328 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,174 HOW ABOUT FROM NOW ON, WE BOTH HAVE 329 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,236 PERMISSION TO BE COMPLETELY OPEN 330 00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:52,905 WITHOUT FEAR OF WHAT THE OTHER PERSON MIGHT THINK. 331 00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,146 - THAT SOUNDS REALLY NICE. 332 00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:59,192 SO WAIT, ARE YOU SURE THAT THERE'S NOT ANYTHING, 333 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:04,519 LIKE, UNUSUAL THAT YOU'RE INTO? 334 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,487 - NO. NO, NOT THAT I CAN THINK OF. 335 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,527 BUT, UH...HEY. 336 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,132 WE HAVE THE REST OF OUR LIVES 337 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,334 TO TRY AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING. 338 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,196 - THE REST OF OUR LIVES? 339 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,135 - YEAH. 340 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,510 PROVIDED, OF COURSE, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT 341 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,968 THAT FREAKY PINKY TOE SITUATION. 342 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,108 - [laughing] 343 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,216 - WAIT, YOU HAVE A DATE? THAT IS SO EXCITING. 344 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,855 - IT'S NOT EXCITING. IT'S STRESSFUL. 345 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,790 - STRESSFUL? IT'S NOT STRESSFUL. 346 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,426 LOOK, I MIGHT BE BIASED 'CAUSE YOU'RE MY SISTER. 347 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,930 BUT KRISTEN, YOU ARE A CATCH. 348 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,262 - OH... - OH, TOTALLY. 349 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,826 OKAY, YOU'RE SMART. YOU HAVE A GREAT ASS. 350 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,065 AND YOU OWN A HOME. 351 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,369 THAT IS ONE SEXY COMBO PLATTER YOU'RE SERVING. 352 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,501 - UH, I'M A MOM. I'M TOO TIRED TO BE SEXY. 353 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,837 - YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A MOM? 354 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,042 - HUH? - HEIDI KLUM. 355 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,473 - YEAH, SHE HAS HELP. FROM SEAL. 356 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,177 - I DON'T THINK HE'S MUCH HELP. 357 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,909 - AND BY THE WAY, THEY DON'T HAVE TEENAGERS. 358 00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,875 LAST WEEK BECKY WAS I.M.ing, AND SHE WROTE "MOS." 359 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,884 I HAD TO LOOK IT UP ONLINE. IT MEANS "MOM OVER SHOULDER." 360 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,447 SHE HATES ME. 361 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,185 - OKAY, SO WHAT'S GOING ON? PROM, BOYS? 362 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,260 - ALL I KNOW IS WHAT I OVERHEAR. 363 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,018 THERE'S THIS BOY NAMED IAN, AND SHE REALLY NEEDS 364 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,288 TO TALK TO NATASHA TODAY. 365 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,855 I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON. 366 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:14,904 DAMN IT! 367 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,898 I CANNOT UNLOCK HER PHONE. 368 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:17,900 - LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THAT. 369 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,331 I'M A LITTLE BIT OF A TECHNO GUY. 370 00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,996 BUT I'M NOT A JEWEL THIEF. 371 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,295 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT? 372 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,396 - WE GOTTA GO, I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR SCHOOL. 373 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:25,667 AND BY THE WAY, THERE IS NO WAY 374 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,605 THAT ANY OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT MY PASSWORD. 375 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,610 - OH, WHAT IS IT? IAN? 376 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,381 - GOD, MOM, WOULD YOU JUST GET YOUR OWN LIFE 377 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,551 SO YOU CAN STAY OUT OF MINE? 378 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,509 - OH, SHE'S WORKING ON IT, ALL RIGHT? 379 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,217 YOUR MOM IS GETTING BACK OUT THERE. 380 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,249 - THAT'S RIGHT! 381 00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,154 - I HAVE A DATE ON SATURDAY NIGHT. 382 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,316 - WHOO! - WHOO! 383 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,993 - GROSS. - OKAY. 384 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,993 - HEY, I'LL BE BACK LATER FOR THE DRIVING LESSON. 385 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,255 AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THIS KID, IAN. 386 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:49,963 I GUARANTEE YOU THEY'RE NOT KISSING YET. 387 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:51,257 RIGHT? 388 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:53,328 - YOU--YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE NEEDED TO SAY THAT. 389 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,166 - YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY. 390 00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:58,342 I HAVE A SITUATION DOWN THERE. 391 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:01,241 - ARE YOU USING THE MAGNIFYING SIDE OF THE MIRROR? 392 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,944 - YES, AND, UH, BY THE WAY. 393 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,176 IT'S LIKE LOOKING AT MY DOWNSTAIRS IN HD. 394 00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,581 - DID YOU CATCH AN STD FROM IAN? 395 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,112 - I DON'T KNOW. 396 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,417 WE ONLY SLEPT TOGETHER THAT ONE NIGHT AT YOUR PARTY. 397 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,918 - YOU HAD SEX IN MY HOUSE? 398 00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,250 - NO, IN MY CAR. 399 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,224 - OH, THAT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO. 400 00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,293 HOW MANY OTHER GUYS HAVE YOU BEEN WITH? 401 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,921 - WE'RE FRIENDS, YOU CAN TELL US. 402 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:18,056 - NONE. 403 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,561 OH, MY GOD. 404 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,432 - MARGARET, YOU CAN'T EAT YOUR LUNCH IN HERE TODAY. 405 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,161 SORRY. - BUT I NEED THE BATHROOM. 406 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,496 - OOH, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. 407 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,402 - DIDN'T IAN WEAR A CONDOM? 408 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,904 - YEAH, BUT STUFF TOUCHED. 409 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:32,367 IT TOUCHED--I DON'T KNOW. 410 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,405 YOU GUYS, WHAT IF I HAVE SOMETHING? 411 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,410 WHAT DO I DO? 412 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,441 - WE NEED A PLAN. 413 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,235 UH, LET'S CALL THE POLICE. 414 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,907 - HMM? - TO ARREST IAN. 415 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,506 HE PROBABLY GAVE IT TO YOU, WHATEVER IT IS. 416 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,917 - YEAH, WE SHOULD ARREST HIM. 417 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,049 - I JUST SAID THAT, CARA. 418 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,153 - SORRY. 419 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,194 MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO IAN ABOUT IT. 420 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,188 - OH, YEAH. 421 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,349 JUST WALK UP AND BE, LIKE, 422 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,387 "HEY, I KNOW WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN A WEEK, 423 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,291 BUT CAN I SPOT CHECK YOUR WANG FOR BAD STUFF?" 424 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,333 - UH, WELL THIS IS IMPORTANT. WHAT IF YOU HAVE SYPHILIS? 425 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:53,929 - HMM. 426 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,701 YOUR EYEBROWS DO LOOK THINNER. 427 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,428 - WHY DOES HAPPINESS 428 00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,204 GET TORN APART 429 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,232 AND WHY DOES SADNESS [bell rings] 430 00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:02,598 FEEL SO BLUE 431 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,235 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL NURSE SUE. 432 00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,541 - YEAH, SO SHE CAN GIVE MY VAGINA A HEARING TEST. 433 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,713 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR MOM. 434 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,540 - OH, YO. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 435 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,706 NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 436 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,183 MY MOM IS SO NOT COOL. 437 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,982 SHE WOULD HOMESCHOOL ME. MY LIFE WOULD BE OVER. 438 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,054 - I WOULD TELL MY MOM. 439 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:17,282 SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND AND WE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT SEX. 440 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,247 SHE LIKES DOING IT TO RAP MUSIC. 441 00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:20,446 - MY MOM LIKES-- - NOT NOW, CARA. 442 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,017 - OKAY, GUYS. 443 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,255 NO MOM'S ARE GOING TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, ALL RIGHT? 444 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:24,720 THEY'LL JUST FREAK AND HAVE SOME BIG MOM MEETING ABOUT IT. 445 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:25,557 - THEY'LL BAN SEX AND DANCING. 446 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,992 - OH, TO THE RIGHT, TO THE RIGHT. 447 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,627 - AT LEAST TALK TO IAN. 448 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,401 ASK IF HE'S HAVING AN OUTBREAK OR WHATEVER. 449 00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,371 - HEY, IAN. 450 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,742 - HEY, BECKY. 451 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,539 - CAN WE TALK? LIKE, IN PRIVATE? 452 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,271 IT'S ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT. YOU KNOW, WHEN-- 453 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:41,567 - OH, YEAH. - YEAH. 454 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,108 - YEAH. I HAD A GREAT TIME WITH YOU. 455 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,214 - YEAH. - BUT I'M BACK WITH JESSICA. 456 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:48,615 - YOU ARE? - YEAH. 457 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,448 SORRY. BUT I HAD FUN, BECK. 458 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,254 THANKS. 459 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,956 SEE YOU AROUND. 460 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,590 - WHAT DID HE SAY? 461 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,185 - HE'S BACK WITH JESSICA. 462 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,187 - EW. - WHAT? 463 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,498 - THAT A-HOLE. 464 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,669 OH, LET'S START A RUMOR THAT IAN'S JUNK IS TINY. 465 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:08,438 AND THAT HE'S GOT A FUNNY VOICE FOR IT. 466 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,268 - GUYS, DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT IAN? 467 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,514 IT WAS JUST SEX. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 468 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,140 - HEY, BABE. 469 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,305 BECKY, I HEARD ABOUT YOUR SITUATION. 470 00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:18,784 - NATASHA! 471 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,211 - AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, MY COUSIN HAD HERPES. 472 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,377 IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 473 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,054 I MEAN, YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS OR ANYTHING. 474 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,793 AND I THINK YOU HAVE TO DRINK THROUGH A STRAW. 475 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,448 - OKAY. 476 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:31,717 - YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, YOU BLEW IT 477 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,028 - NOW BEFORE WE CAN HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT SEX, 478 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,362 I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO SIGN THIS RELEASE FORM. 479 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,497 NO WAY I'M GOING THROUGH ANOTHER LAWSUIT. 480 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,609 NOW... 481 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,081 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO RAP ABOUT? 482 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,081 ARE YOU SEXUALLY ACTIVE, BECKY? 483 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,183 - YUP. 484 00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:57,045 - DO YOU WANT TO PLAY SOME BIRTH CONTROL BINGO? 485 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,594 OR A HAND OF LOVE THE GLOVE? 486 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,419 - UH, NO. THANK YOU. 487 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,724 - WE COULD PLAY FOR REAL MONEY. 488 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:06,555 - UM, I'M JUST HAVING A LITTLE PROBLEM. 489 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,763 - SO YOU'RE PREGNANT? 490 00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:11,464 I HAVE PAMPHLETS ON ABORTION, ADOPTION, 491 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,698 AND BEING A TEEN MOTHER. 492 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,502 I, OF COURSE, HAVE NO PERSONAL VIEWS 493 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,144 ON THE SUBJECT. 494 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,539 SAYS SO RIGHT HERE IN THE RELEASE FORM, OKAY? 495 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,271 - UH, ACTUALLY, NOT PREGNANT. 496 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,467 I... 497 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,238 IT'S SOMETHING ELSE. 498 00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,746 - OH. - [quietly] YEAH. 499 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,378 - ANYTHING OTHER THAN PREGNANCY 500 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,315 IS OUTSIDE OF MY JURISDICTION. 501 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,350 SECTION FOUR. 502 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,385 BUT I CAN REFER YOU TO A FREE CLINIC. 503 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,591 YOU'LL JUST NEED $80. 504 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,630 I CAN'T HAND IT TO YOU. 505 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:48,238 YOU'LL HAVE TO PICK IT UP YOURSELF. 506 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,498 HMM? 507 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,341 - OKAY, I THINK WE'RE CLOSE TO A DIAGNOSIS. 508 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,247 YOU PROBABLY HAVE ONE OF THREE THINGS. 509 00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,179 HPV, AIDS, OR... 510 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,515 SKIN CANCER. WAS IT OUT IN THE SUN? 511 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:08,391 - OKAY, SO LET'S SAY I DO HAVE ONE OF THOSE THREE THINGS. 512 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,321 DOES THAT MEAN THAT I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE SEX AGAIN? 513 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,327 DOES THAT MEAN I'M GONNA BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? 514 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,159 OH, MY GOD. 515 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,263 I'M GONNA DIE ALONE LIKE MY MOTHER. 516 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,834 - BECK, YOU'RE MY SECOND BEST FRIEND, AND I LOVE YOU. 517 00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,233 YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW THAT. 518 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,395 - I LOVE YOU TOO. 519 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,202 - DO YOU EVER HAVE AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT? 520 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:22,874 - I THINK I NEED TO GET TO THAT CLINIC. 521 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,772 - YOU BETTER HURRY. IT CLOSES AT 7:00. 522 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,235 - [laughing] 523 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,675 HEY, MY LITTLE PONIES. WHAT'S HAPPENIN'? 524 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,279 - WHY ARE YOU STOPPING? 525 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,251 FASTER, FASTER. 526 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,309 - HI, GUYS. HI HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 527 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,377 - NOTHING, DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW 528 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,215 EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ABOUT MY LIFE? 529 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,249 GOD. 530 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,324 - SEE THAT RIGHT THERE? - YEAH. 531 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,521 - WORTH THE CUSTODY BATTLE. 532 00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,852 - [laughing] ALL RIGHT. 533 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,317 ENOUGH WITH THE LITTLE TEDDY BEAR PICNIC 534 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,885 YOU GUYS ARE DOING-- COME ON! 535 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,293 UNCLE JUDD'S GONNA TAKE YOU ON THE ROAD. LET'S GO! 536 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,485 - GOOD LUCK, BECKY. 537 00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:50,757 - WOW, YOU GUYS ARE REALLY CLOSE. 538 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,408 - WHAT IS THAT? 539 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,410 - WHAT? [groans] 540 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,182 YOU MEAN WHO! THAT'S ALFRED. 541 00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,582 ALFRED'S YOUR SAFETY DUMMY. 542 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:07,813 ALFRED, BECKY. BECKY, ALFRED. 543 00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,517 [laughing] 544 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,949 ALFRED IS GONNA RIDE SHOTGUN WITH YOU 545 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,524 WHEN YOU'RE RIDING ALONE AT NIGHT. 546 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:15,924 I PUT HIM IN A TRACK SUIT 547 00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,385 SO HE LOOKS LIKE A MAFIA HIT MAN. 548 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:20,334 OH, TRUST ME. HE'S GONNA COME IN HANDY. 549 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,300 - I HATE TODAY. 550 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,801 - AND THERE'S A TURN HERE. 551 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,872 SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN. BRAKE. BRAKE HERE, BRAKE! 552 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,470 WATCH IT, WATCH IT, WATCH IT. 553 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,342 OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT YOU'RE LIKE-- 554 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:32,341 YOU'RE NOT FOCUSING. 555 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,342 WATCH THAT BIKER. WATCH HIM. 556 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,443 WATCH THAT, WATCH THAT GUY. 557 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,484 WATCH THE GUY! 558 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,678 THE BIKER! 559 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,349 - A-HOLE! - SORRY! 560 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,478 - I SAW HIM. - NO, YOU DIDN'T. 561 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,712 - YES, I DID. - NO, YOU DIDN'T. 562 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:41,947 - YES, I DID. - NO, YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM. 563 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,251 JUST KEEP YOUR EYES--CAR! 564 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,283 BRAKES, BRAKES! 565 00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:45,317 - WHOA! 566 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:46,352 - WHAT ARE YOU-- WHOA, WHOA! 567 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:47,546 OKAY. OH, ALFRED. 568 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,533 ALFRED, PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS CONDOM WRAPPER 569 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,289 FELL OUT OF YOUR WALLET. 570 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,657 - OH, MY GOD. PLEASE DON'T TELL MY MOM. 571 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,955 PLEASE DON'T TELL MY MOM. 572 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,866 - WHAT AM I-- WATCH THE ROAD! 573 00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:03,268 - WHOA! OH! OH, MY GOD! 574 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,443 - YOU OKAY? - YEAH. 575 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,472 - GOOD. - NO. 576 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,506 - NO? 577 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,540 - I THINK I HAVE AN STD. 578 00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,408 - WHAT? NO! NO, YOU MEAN STD. 579 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,377 WOW, STD. LIKE... 580 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,786 LIKE, TEXTING. STD. 581 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,488 UM, I'M "SO TOTALLY DOWN." 582 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,261 - THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT MEANS. - THAT'S NOT WHAT THAT MEANS. 583 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,290 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT MEANS. 584 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,434 THAT MEANS...OH, GOD! 585 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:27,859 THAT MEANS THAT YOU AND IAN HAVE KISSED, RIGHT? 586 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,364 YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY KISSED, AND YOU'VE GOTTEN TOGETHER. 587 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,827 AND THINGS HAVE TOUCHED. 588 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:32,904 - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. 589 00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,432 - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! 590 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,437 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. 591 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,368 THE RIGHT THING. YOU SHOULD DO THE RIGHT THING. 592 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,674 - OKAY, I-- 593 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,505 - OKAY, I'M TELLING YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING. 594 00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,770 YOU GUYS NEED TO GET MARRIED. - WHAT? 595 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,008 - YES, YOU HAVE TO MARRY HIM. THAT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 596 00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,013 OR MAYBE I SHOULD KILL HIM. 597 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,654 I CAN'T DO BOTH, THAT'D BE A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS. 598 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,280 BECKY, I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT MY POSITION IS. 599 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,146 UH, HERE. 600 00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,682 - I THINK WE NEED TO GO TO A CLINIC. 601 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,018 - OKAY, GOOD. I'M GONNA CALL YOUR MOM THEN. 602 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,292 - NO! - NO. 603 00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,891 - NO. - NO, THAT IS A BAD IDEA. 604 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,022 - MM-HMM. - BAD IDEA. 605 00:20:57,056 --> 00:21:00,526 - PLEASE, UNCLE JUDD. THE CLINIC CLOSES IN 15 MINUTES. 606 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,500 - OKAY, I'LL DRIVE. - OKAY. 607 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,706 - UH, SO HOW'S SCHOOL? 608 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,809 - REALLY? 609 00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,741 - SORRY. 610 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:19,006 LOOK, THIS IS MY FIRST TEENAGE GIRL CRISIS, SO I'M-- 611 00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:22,675 - IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE DOING GREAT. 612 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:23,945 - YEAH? - YEAH. 613 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,853 - OKAY, GOOD. 614 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,015 GOOD, THAT IS REALLY GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. 615 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:29,964 'CAUSE I'M-- YOU KNOW, I'M YOUR UNCLE. 616 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,919 I WANT TO BE THAT PILLAR. 617 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,087 I WANT TO BE THE GUY YOU LEAN ON, YOU KNOW? 618 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,994 - UNCLE JUDD, COULD WE JUST, LIKE, NOT TALK RIGHT NOW? 619 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,756 - ABSOLUTELY. 620 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,995 - BECKY WALTHAM? 621 00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:44,572 - I'LL BE RIGHT HERE. 622 00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:46,644 - GIRL, TAKE IT EASY 623 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:47,773 TAKE IT SLOW 624 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:48,937 YOU'RE A HAZARD 625 00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:53,005 TO YOURSELF 626 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:55,475 EXCESSIVE EXPOSURE TO LIFE 627 00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:56,845 MAY BE HARMFUL 628 00:21:56,883 --> 00:22:00,723 TO YOUR HEALTH 629 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,563 YOU RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES 630 00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:04,659 LIKE YOU'VE GOT SOMEWHERE TO GO 631 00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:06,491 YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWERS 632 00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,696 LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW 633 00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:10,498 THE RULES ARE PRETTY SIMPLE 634 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,800 EVERYTHING IS ACCIDENTAL SO JUST TAKE IT SLOW 635 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,972 - EVERYTHING'S FINE. - GOOD. 636 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:16,001 - AND LET IT GO 637 00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:18,735 LIFE IS DAILY, LIFE IS CRAZY 638 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,441 LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND SCARY 639 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:23,013 LIFE IS, LIFE IS... 640 00:22:23,042 --> 00:22:25,612 - I FEEL SO STUPID. 641 00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:26,605 - DON'T. 642 00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:28,576 THIS ENDED FINE. 643 00:22:28,615 --> 00:22:30,115 AND THE ONLY ONE WHO GOT HURT HERE WAS THAT MAILBOX. 644 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,749 AND I'LL JUST-- I'LL SEND THAT GUY A CHECK. 645 00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:32,924 - NOT ABOUT THAT. 646 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,392 ABOUT IAN. 647 00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:35,521 HOW COULD HE HAVE SEX WITH ME 648 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:37,115 AND THEN GO BACK TO STUPID JESSICA? 649 00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,926 - UH, BECKY, PLEASE. IAN IS A SACK. 650 00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,929 REALLY, THAT GUY'S A NOBODY. 651 00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,931 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 652 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:47,504 THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS? 653 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,144 - BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN HIM. 654 00:22:49,168 --> 00:22:50,738 YET. BUT YOU WILL. 655 00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:52,000 TRUST ME. 656 00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:53,968 ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA LOOK BACK ON THIS AND YOU'RE GONNA THINK, 657 00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:57,476 "WHY DID I EVEN CARE ABOUT HIM?" 658 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,550 BECKY, LOOK. EVERYBODY'S BEEN THROUGH THIS. 659 00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,009 REALLY. EVEN YOUR MOM. 660 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,847 - HEH, YEAH. RIGHT. 661 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:06,922 - OH! ASK YOUR MOM ABOUT BOBBY HOLT. 662 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:09,193 - MY MOM HAD SEX IN HIGH SCHOOL? 663 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:12,531 - THAT'S NOT THE POINT. 664 00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,989 WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT, UH... 665 00:23:15,027 --> 00:23:16,857 UM...YOU DON'T... 666 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,566 LOOK, YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MOM, 667 00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:20,628 BUT SHE GETS THIS STUFF A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. 668 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,537 - LIFE IS WHAT IT IS 669 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:23,839 AND IN THE END 670 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:26,610 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TRY 671 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:31,639 TO DO WHAT YOU GOTTA TO GET BY 672 00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:34,208 AND STAY ALIVE 673 00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:35,916 - WHY WEREN'T YOU ANSWERING YOUR PHONE? 674 00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,478 - MOM-- 675 00:23:37,517 --> 00:23:38,847 - WELL, I KNOW, I KNOW. "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" 676 00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:40,545 "DON'T ASK QUESTIONS." 677 00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,647 "DO MY LAUNDRY, I NEED MONEY FOR JEANS." 678 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:45,658 - WHAT HAPPENED WITH BOBBY HOLT? 679 00:23:45,692 --> 00:23:46,962 - BOBBY HOLT? 680 00:23:46,993 --> 00:23:47,793 - UH, YEAH. 681 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:50,757 THAT, UH, THAT CAME UP ORGANICALLY. 682 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,000 - OH, SWEETIE. 683 00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:01,507 - GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT. 684 00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:11,124 - SHE'S ALL YOURS, ALFRED. TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER. 685 00:24:20,527 --> 00:24:22,957 [jazzy music] 686 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:25,195 - IT'S EASY WHEN IT HURTS... 687 00:24:25,231 --> 00:24:27,571 - AND ACTUALLY WHAT'S FUNNY IS THAT 688 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,000 THE STOVEPIPE HAT ORIGINATED IN ENGLAND. 689 00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:31,797 - MM-HMM. 690 00:24:31,838 --> 00:24:33,708 - IT'S CREDITED TO GEORGE DUNNAGE. 691 00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:36,180 17...I THINK 93. 692 00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,208 - OH. 693 00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:38,243 - 1794. 694 00:24:38,277 --> 00:24:40,047 NO, IT WAS '93. - MM-HMM. 695 00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:42,779 - WHY WAS I TALKING--OH! MADDY'S BOOK REPORT. 696 00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:44,645 BOY, THE GIRLS HAVE A LOT OF HOMEWORK. 697 00:24:44,684 --> 00:24:46,224 DON'T THEY? - OH, SO MUCH. 698 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,622 YEAH, EMMA GETS REALLY STRESSED ABOUT IT. 699 00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:49,655 - TELL ME ABOUT IT. 700 00:24:49,689 --> 00:24:50,689 MADDY THE OTHER DAY ASKED ME TO 701 00:24:50,723 --> 00:24:52,793 PUT ON A POT OF COFFEE FOR HER. 702 00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:53,885 I'M JUST KIDDING. 703 00:24:53,926 --> 00:24:55,056 SHE DIDN'T LITERALLY ASK. 704 00:24:55,094 --> 00:24:57,004 - NO, I DIDN'T THINK SO. 705 00:24:57,029 --> 00:24:59,899 - SO THIS IS NICE. THIS IS NICE. 706 00:24:59,932 --> 00:25:01,202 YOU KNOW, I DON'T GET OUT MUCH. 707 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,843 SINCE, UH, YOU KNOW, THE EX-WIFE LEFT. 708 00:25:03,870 --> 00:25:05,940 PLUS I'M NEW IN TOWN, SO... 709 00:25:05,972 --> 00:25:07,042 I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY WIFE. - SEVERAL TIMES. 710 00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,813 - I DID. - YUP. 711 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:10,281 - IT'S NOT LIKE I MISS HER OR ANYTHING. 712 00:25:10,309 --> 00:25:11,539 SHE WAS AWFUL. 713 00:25:11,578 --> 00:25:12,708 WHAT AM I DOING? 714 00:25:12,745 --> 00:25:14,305 TALK ABOUT YOU. 715 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,946 YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL EYELASHES. 716 00:25:16,983 --> 00:25:19,023 ARE THEY REAL? 717 00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:20,791 - YES. 718 00:25:20,820 --> 00:25:22,660 MY EYELASHES ARE REAL. 719 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:26,059 - I'M ASKING BECAUSE HEATHER HAD THESE LASH EXTENSION THINGS. 720 00:25:26,092 --> 00:25:28,192 COULDN'T SLEEP ON YOUR FACE. 721 00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:31,627 COULDN'T RUB YOUR EYES. A LOT OF RULES WITH THAT ONE. 722 00:25:31,664 --> 00:25:32,934 - OH. - OH, YEAH. 723 00:25:32,965 --> 00:25:36,295 - YEAH. 724 00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:38,295 - SHOULD WE JUST, UH, GET THE CHECK? 725 00:25:38,337 --> 00:25:40,807 - OH. 726 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,270 YEAH. 727 00:25:42,308 --> 00:25:44,938 - SO HOW DID IT GO WITH MRS. GOOD RACK? 728 00:25:44,977 --> 00:25:47,007 - ONE, THAT'S NOT HER NAME. 729 00:25:47,046 --> 00:25:48,846 AND TWO, IT WENT VERY WELL, THANK YOU. 730 00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:50,021 HI. WE NEED JACKSON HERE. 731 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:51,949 - OKAY, JACKSON. YOU'RE UP, BUDDY. 732 00:25:51,984 --> 00:25:54,324 JACKSON IS ON THE MOVE. 733 00:25:54,353 --> 00:25:56,363 SO IT WENT WELL? HOW HARD DID YOU NAIL HER? 734 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,588 HOW MANY TIMES? 735 00:25:57,624 --> 00:25:59,034 DID YOU HIT THAT SWEET SPOT? 736 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,728 - NO, I WISH. THERE WAS NO NAILING, OKAY? 737 00:26:01,761 --> 00:26:04,731 BUT IT WAS A VERY CIVILIZED FIRST DATE. 738 00:26:04,764 --> 00:26:06,974 HEY, NO CELL PHONES IN THE CAR LINE, OKAY? 739 00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:08,999 YEAH, WE GOT KIDS RUNNING AROUND. 740 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:10,965 THERE YOU GO, DUMMY. WE NEED DAISY. 741 00:26:11,003 --> 00:26:13,043 - OKAY, LET'S SEND UP DAISY. 742 00:26:13,072 --> 00:26:14,872 THAT KRISTEN'S GOT A NICE BUTT. 743 00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:17,107 IT'S NOT LIKE A SKINNY YOGA BUTT. 744 00:26:17,143 --> 00:26:19,653 IT'S GOT A NICE, '80s PLAYBOY FEEL TO IT. 745 00:26:19,679 --> 00:26:21,279 - IT'S LIKE A SMOOTH HILLSIDE. 746 00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:23,223 I WANT TO BUILT A CABIN ON IT AND LIVE THERE. 747 00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:25,349 ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 748 00:26:25,384 --> 00:26:26,994 - HEY, MAN, HOW'S IT GOING? 749 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:28,149 - THIRD GRADE'S ALL CLEANED UP. 750 00:26:28,187 --> 00:26:30,917 FOURTH GRADE IS YOURS, BUD. 751 00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:36,027 HEY! THERE YOU ARE, JELLYBEAN. 752 00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:38,632 WHAT'S WRONG? 753 00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:40,795 - EVERYONE'S GOING TO THIS BIRTHDAY PARTY TOMORROW. 754 00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:42,173 - OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY. YOU CAN GO. 755 00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:43,201 WHOSE IS IT? 756 00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:44,295 - EMMA WALTHAM. 757 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:46,136 BUT I WASN'T INVITED. 758 00:26:46,172 --> 00:26:48,242 I WAS THE ONLY ONE. 759 00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:49,944 - EMMA. 760 00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:51,176 IS THAT MRS. GOOD RACK'S DAUGHTER? 761 00:26:51,210 --> 00:26:52,850 - WHO'S MRS. GOOD RACK? 762 00:26:52,879 --> 00:26:55,819 - MRS. WALTHAM? 763 00:26:59,085 --> 00:27:02,045 [doorbell rings] 764 00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:03,288 - OH. - OH. 765 00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:04,262 - HI. 766 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:05,790 WOW, KRISTEN. YOU LOOK, UH, YOU LOOK NICE. 767 00:27:05,825 --> 00:27:07,885 - OH, UH, BRIAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 768 00:27:07,927 --> 00:27:09,427 - WELL, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR PARTY. 769 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:11,261 I JUST--I DON'T THINK I WOULD BE A GOOD PARENT 770 00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:13,197 IF I DIDN'T COME BY AND TELL YOU THAT, UH-- 771 00:27:13,232 --> 00:27:15,772 WELL, I WANT TO KNOW WHY MADDY WASN'T INVITED. 772 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:17,342 SHE'S VERY UPSET, AND I THINK 773 00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:18,869 IT WAS VERY MEAN TO EXCLUDE HER. 774 00:27:18,905 --> 00:27:21,965 - OH, I AM SO SORRY. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE. 775 00:27:22,008 --> 00:27:23,708 YOU KNOW, MADDY'S NEW IN CLASS. 776 00:27:23,743 --> 00:27:25,283 AND I PROBABLY HAVE AN OLD CONTACT LIST. 777 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:26,351 - WELL, YOU'RE THE CLASS MOTHER. 778 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,008 DON'T YOU MAKE THE LISTS? 779 00:27:28,047 --> 00:27:29,917 - MOM! MOM, I NEED YOU. 780 00:27:29,949 --> 00:27:31,779 - UM... 781 00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:33,088 - IS THIS ABOUT ME? 782 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,389 WAIT, THIS ISN'T ABOUT OUR DATE, IS IT? 783 00:27:35,421 --> 00:27:37,321 - I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, SWEETIE! 784 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:38,356 NO. 785 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,460 IT IS NOTHING LIKE THAT. 786 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:42,062 THIS WAS JUST AN HONEST MISTAKE. 787 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,264 I AM SO SORRY. 788 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:44,755 WELL, HEY. 789 00:27:44,797 --> 00:27:46,067 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A GOODY BAG HOME FOR MADDY? 790 00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:48,068 - OH, YOU KNOW, THAT'S OKAY. - NO, NO, I INSIST. 791 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,470 EMMA, GRAB A GOODY BAG AND COME TO THE FRONT DOOR. 792 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:52,002 - WELL, IF THEY HAVE JELLY BEANS. 793 00:27:52,038 --> 00:27:53,038 YOU KNOW, THOSE ARE MADDY'S FAVORITES, SO I-- 794 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,072 - OH, I--YOU KNOW, NO GUARANTEES. 795 00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:56,307 HEY! - HI. 796 00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:58,142 - YOU REMEMBER MR. BARSTOW, MADDY'S DAD. 797 00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,147 - HI. 798 00:27:59,178 --> 00:28:01,048 - MY MOM SAYS YOU'RE CREEPY. 799 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,410 I'M NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY AT YOUR HOUSE. 800 00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:03,918 - THANK YOU. KIDS! 801 00:28:03,950 --> 00:28:05,380 I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW. 802 00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,247 THAT WAS--WHERE DO THEY GET THIS STUFF? 803 00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:08,386 I DON'T KNOW. 804 00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:09,920 [glass breaking] - MOM! 805 00:28:09,956 --> 00:28:11,956 - OH, SHOOT. I GOTTA GO. 806 00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:19,925 - CREEPY. 807 00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:20,966 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY KRISTEN WOULD CALL ME THAT. 808 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:21,900 AM I CREEPY? 809 00:28:21,934 --> 00:28:24,744 - UH, DEPENDS ON HOW THE LIGHT HITS YOU. 810 00:28:24,771 --> 00:28:25,841 AND WHEN I SAW YOU TALK TO KRISTEN, 811 00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:26,972 YOU DIDN'T BLINK THE WHOLE TIME. 812 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:28,136 - WELL, OKAY. 813 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,814 I GUESS I'VE BLOWN MY CHANCES WITH YOU. 814 00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:31,882 - SO WHAT HAPPENED ON THE DATE? 815 00:28:31,911 --> 00:28:33,311 - NOTHING. I MEAN, IT WAS NICE. 816 00:28:33,345 --> 00:28:34,375 WE HAD A GOOD TIME. - THEN DON'T SWEAT IT. 817 00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:36,753 IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING FROM MY DARLING STEPHANIE, 818 00:28:36,783 --> 00:28:37,783 KIDS ARE A-HOLES. 819 00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:39,047 THEY LIE. 820 00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:40,785 - IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE I FOLLOWED HER HOME. 821 00:28:40,820 --> 00:28:43,120 - YOU WHAT? 822 00:28:43,155 --> 00:28:44,455 [car horn honking] 823 00:28:44,490 --> 00:28:45,890 - OH! 824 00:28:45,925 --> 00:28:47,525 - HEY, KRISTEN. - OH, MY GOD! 825 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:48,829 BRIAN? - YEAH. 826 00:28:48,861 --> 00:28:51,131 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 827 00:28:51,163 --> 00:28:53,133 - OH, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU GOT HOME SAFE. 828 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:55,835 - YOU FOLLOWED ME HOME? 829 00:28:55,868 --> 00:28:56,998 - YEAH, I DID. 830 00:28:57,036 --> 00:28:59,406 GOOD THING TOO. YOU GOT A TAILLIGHT OUT. 831 00:28:59,438 --> 00:29:00,868 DRIVING AROUND, BREAKING THE LAW. 832 00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,237 NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY LADY. 833 00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:03,244 BUT IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY. 834 00:29:03,275 --> 00:29:05,405 UH, I OWN A BODY SHOP. YOU WANT TO BRING IT BY? 835 00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:06,554 I'LL TAKE A LOOK. 836 00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:07,508 - OH, YEAH--UH, WELL-- 837 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:08,946 THANK--MAYBE, YEAH. 838 00:29:08,981 --> 00:29:10,881 - IT'S A GOOD BUSINESS. 839 00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,447 I'M A GOOD PROVIDER, SO... 840 00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:16,015 HEY, BY THE WAY. I'M LOST. 841 00:29:16,055 --> 00:29:19,185 HOW DO I GET BACK TO RESEDA BOULEVARD? 842 00:29:19,225 --> 00:29:20,225 - WHOA. 843 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:21,789 THAT'S--THAT'S CREEPY. 844 00:29:21,828 --> 00:29:23,228 - OH, I WAS TRYING TO BE CHIVALROUS, ALL RIGHT? 845 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:25,872 MY EX-WIFE, SHE ALWAYS THOUGHT 846 00:29:25,898 --> 00:29:27,028 SHE WAS GOING TO GET CARJACKED, SO... 847 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:28,496 - BUT YOU JUST MET THIS WOMAN. 848 00:29:28,534 --> 00:29:30,344 YOU CAN'T TAIL HER AFTER A FIRST DATE 849 00:29:30,369 --> 00:29:31,539 LIKE SOME DERANGED STALKER. 850 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:33,570 THAT'S FOURTH, FIFTH DATE STUFF. 851 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,375 - SO HER DAUGHTER CAN'T PLAY WITH MADDY BECAUSE OF THAT? 852 00:29:36,408 --> 00:29:40,108 - I DON'T KNOW. SEEMS A LITTLE EXTREME. 853 00:29:40,146 --> 00:29:42,346 DUDE, WHAT ARE THESE? 854 00:29:42,381 --> 00:29:43,951 - OH, THOSE ARE SOME COOKIES I BAKED FOR THE CLASS MEETING. 855 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,923 SAVED A COUPLE FOR MADDY AND I. HELP YOURSELF. 856 00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:48,862 - DUDE, SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THESE COOKIES? 857 00:29:48,888 --> 00:29:50,558 - NO, THEY'RE ROCKETS. 858 00:29:50,589 --> 00:29:51,519 MADDY SAID THEY'RE STUDYING SPACE. 859 00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:52,557 - REALLY. - YEAH. 860 00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:54,891 - ROCKETS? WHAT ARE THESE? 861 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:57,197 - THOSE ARE BOOSTER ENGINES. 862 00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:58,559 - NO, DUDE. THEY'RE BALLS. 863 00:29:58,597 --> 00:30:00,827 THESE COOKIES ARE SHAPED LIKE PENISES. 864 00:30:00,867 --> 00:30:02,197 - WHAT? NO, THEY'RE NOT. 865 00:30:02,234 --> 00:30:03,604 THEY'RE-- OH, WAIT. 866 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:05,565 I SEE. OH, NO. 867 00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:06,914 - WHY WOULD YOU BAKE PENIS COOKIES? 868 00:30:06,939 --> 00:30:08,369 - NO, I DIDN'T! I BAKED ROCKETS. 869 00:30:08,407 --> 00:30:09,407 SEE? 870 00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:10,581 [imitates rocket] 871 00:30:10,609 --> 00:30:12,579 - NO, NO. SIDEWAYS PENIS. 872 00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:13,881 - WELL, THEN-- - NOW IT'S ERECT. 873 00:30:13,913 --> 00:30:15,513 SO WHO EXACTLY DID YOU SERVE THESE TO? 874 00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:16,577 - ALL THE MOTHERS AT THE MEETING. 875 00:30:16,615 --> 00:30:17,515 - AND HOW'D THAT GO OVER? 876 00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:19,849 - REALLY WELL. THEY WERE HUDDLED AROUND. 877 00:30:19,886 --> 00:30:21,346 AND THEY WERE WHISPERING. 878 00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:23,517 NOT EATING THEM. 879 00:30:23,555 --> 00:30:25,955 - OH, MAN. YOU ARE THAT CREEPY DAD. 880 00:30:42,574 --> 00:30:45,614 - SWITCH ME ON 881 00:30:45,644 --> 00:30:49,284 TURN ME UP 882 00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:51,245 I WANT TO TOUCH YOU 883 00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:52,253 YOU'RE JUST MADE FOR LOVE 884 00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:54,454 - DEAR KRISTEN. 885 00:30:54,486 --> 00:30:57,386 IT'S 4:00 A.M., AND I'M AT SEA. 886 00:30:57,423 --> 00:31:00,593 BEEN UP ALL NIGHT THINKING ABOUT YOU. 887 00:31:00,626 --> 00:31:03,026 DID I MAKE A BAD IMPRESSION? 888 00:31:03,062 --> 00:31:06,472 I THINK I WAS TRYING TOO HARD. 889 00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:09,038 I'D LOVE TO HIT THE RESET BUTTON ON THIS THING. 890 00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:17,937 SO LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU TOMORROW NIGHT 891 00:31:17,977 --> 00:31:19,577 AT THE CLASS MEETING. 892 00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,911 I PROMISE NOT TO BAKE ANYTHING PHALLIC, 893 00:31:21,948 --> 00:31:25,648 EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A KILLER RECIPE FOR LIGHTSABER COOKIES. 894 00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:27,654 LOL. 895 00:31:27,686 --> 00:31:29,616 IS THAT TOO MUCH? 896 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:31,485 NO, THAT'S REALLY FUNNY. 897 00:31:31,523 --> 00:31:34,093 FONDLY, BRIAN. 898 00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:35,656 P.S. 899 00:31:35,694 --> 00:31:37,604 IF YOU SAW ME IN A BAD LIGHT, 900 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:39,669 HERE'S WHAT I REALLY LOOK LIKE. 901 00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:42,628 [computer chimes] 902 00:31:42,668 --> 00:31:46,638 [beeping] 903 00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:50,578 GOOD? 904 00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:53,549 YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. 905 00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:55,549 - OKAY. OKAY, COME ON. 906 00:31:55,581 --> 00:31:58,221 LET'S HURRY. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE. 907 00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:10,234 WHAT THE--? 908 00:32:10,262 --> 00:32:15,402 [school bell rings] 909 00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:17,044 - HI. 910 00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:21,409 HELLO, THERE. 911 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,680 GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES. 912 00:32:29,048 --> 00:32:30,578 HEY, THERE SHE IS. 913 00:32:30,616 --> 00:32:31,676 WHY DO YOU HAVE STINKY FACE? 914 00:32:31,717 --> 00:32:34,147 - YOU HIT "REPLY ALL," GENIUS. 915 00:32:34,186 --> 00:32:35,316 - EXCUSE ME? 916 00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:36,664 - YOU SENT THIS WEIRD E-MAIL 917 00:32:36,688 --> 00:32:38,388 WITH YOUR PICTURE ON IT TO EMMA'S MOM, 918 00:32:38,424 --> 00:32:39,734 AND YOU HIT "REPLY ALL." 919 00:32:39,758 --> 00:32:41,628 SO IT WENT OUT TO ALL THE MOMS. 920 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:43,430 NOW ALL THE KIDS ARE CALLING ME 921 00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:47,572 "MADDY WITH THE CREEPY DADDY." 922 00:32:47,599 --> 00:32:49,699 - WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU? 923 00:32:49,735 --> 00:32:51,595 BRIAN, THIS PICTURE IS TERRIFYING. 924 00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:52,567 YOU LOOK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER. 925 00:32:52,604 --> 00:32:53,744 IS THAT COTTAGE CHEESE? 926 00:32:53,772 --> 00:32:55,042 - I-- YEAH, I DON'T KNOW. 927 00:32:55,074 --> 00:32:56,044 I COULDN'T SLEEP, IT WAS LATE. 928 00:32:56,075 --> 00:32:57,605 I TOOK A PILL. 929 00:32:57,643 --> 00:32:58,613 - "IT'S 4:00 A.M., AND I'M AT SEA." 930 00:32:58,644 --> 00:32:59,784 THAT'S SO CREEPY. 931 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:01,711 - WHEN YOU USE THAT VOICE, IT'S CREEPY. 932 00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:03,617 BUT I MEANT IT, YOU KNOW, LIKE, "IT'S 4:00 A.M. AND I'M AT SEA." 933 00:33:03,649 --> 00:33:05,749 I WAS BEING POETIC. - HOW WOULD SHE GET THAT? 934 00:33:05,784 --> 00:33:08,124 THERE'S NO TONE IN EMAIL. 935 00:33:08,154 --> 00:33:10,264 YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST USED AN EMOTICON, LIKE A SMILEY FACE. 936 00:33:10,289 --> 00:33:12,219 - NO, I THINK THOSE THINGS ARE CREEPY, OKAY? 937 00:33:12,258 --> 00:33:13,628 - YOU SIGNED IT, "FONDLING BRIAN." 938 00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:15,059 ARE YOU A TOTAL FREAK? 939 00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:17,434 - NO, I DIDN'T. I SIGNED IT, "FONDLY, BRIAN." 940 00:33:17,463 --> 00:33:18,603 - IT SAYS, "FONDLING." - OH, NO, THAT'S A TYPO. 941 00:33:18,630 --> 00:33:19,730 NO, THAT'S NOT-- 942 00:33:19,765 --> 00:33:21,465 I DIDN'T-- THAT'S AUTO SPELL! 943 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:22,530 WHAT-- DAMN YOU, AUTO SPELL! 944 00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:25,598 - AND YOU SENT IT TO THE ENTIRE MOM MAILING LIST. 945 00:33:25,637 --> 00:33:27,667 HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? 946 00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:30,706 - I-I DIDN'T KNOW. - BRIAN, THERE'S "REPLY." 947 00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:32,042 AND THEN THERE'S "REPLY ALL." 948 00:33:32,078 --> 00:33:33,578 HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THAT? 949 00:33:33,612 --> 00:33:34,712 DAD GETS THAT. 950 00:33:34,746 --> 00:33:35,746 - OKAY, SO I SCREWED UP. 951 00:33:35,781 --> 00:33:37,181 AND BY THE WAY, A LOT OF PEOPLE 952 00:33:37,216 --> 00:33:38,346 EAT COTTAGE CHEESE AS A SNACK, 953 00:33:38,384 --> 00:33:40,654 I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW. 954 00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:43,386 I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT. 955 00:33:44,656 --> 00:33:46,786 - THESE WERE IN MY ROOM. ARE THEY FOR ME? 956 00:33:46,825 --> 00:33:48,255 - YES, THEY ARE. 957 00:33:48,294 --> 00:33:49,604 I KNOW YOU HAD KIND OF A ROUGH DAY. 958 00:33:49,628 --> 00:33:51,358 SO I THOUGHT I'D GET YOU A TREAT. 959 00:33:51,397 --> 00:33:52,727 - WELL, CAN I EAT THEM NOW? 960 00:33:52,764 --> 00:33:54,604 - YEAH. YEAH, YOU CAN EAT THEM 961 00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:56,743 FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER, OKAY? 962 00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,341 - WHAT HAPPENED? YOU RAN OUT OF PENIS COOKIES? 963 00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:05,636 - OH, NICE. 964 00:34:05,677 --> 00:34:07,847 OH, THAT CLASS MEETING IS TONIGHT; I CAN'T GO. 965 00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:10,179 - IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? 966 00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:11,676 - ALL THOSE MOMS. 967 00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,387 IT'LL BE LIKE A SALEM WITCH TRIAL. 968 00:34:13,419 --> 00:34:15,519 - BRIAN, GO TO THE CLASS MEETING. 969 00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:17,124 YOU'RE MADDY'S DAD. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE THERE. 970 00:34:17,156 --> 00:34:18,816 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? 971 00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:20,157 - YOU WERE MARRIED TO A SHREW 972 00:34:20,192 --> 00:34:21,592 WITH CRAZY EYELASHES FOR TEN YEARS. 973 00:34:21,627 --> 00:34:22,757 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. 974 00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:24,634 BEFORE HEATHER YOU WERE CONFIDENT 975 00:34:24,663 --> 00:34:28,303 AND UNFLAPPABLE AND POPULAR. 976 00:34:28,334 --> 00:34:31,344 THIS IS JUST A PHASE. 977 00:34:31,370 --> 00:34:32,770 BUT YOU BETTER WRAP IT UP QUICKLY, BUDDY. 978 00:34:32,804 --> 00:34:34,374 'CAUSE YOU'RE FREAKING EVERYBODY OUT, OKAY? 979 00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:36,276 SO CLEAR THE AIR, 980 00:34:36,308 --> 00:34:37,608 DEFEND YOUR NAME, 981 00:34:37,643 --> 00:34:40,113 GO INTO THAT CLASS MEETING, AND KICK SOME ASS. 982 00:34:40,146 --> 00:34:41,676 - YEAH. 983 00:34:41,713 --> 00:34:43,353 I'M GONNA GO KICK SOME ASS. 984 00:34:43,382 --> 00:34:44,582 - BUT, LIKE, HARDER. 985 00:34:44,616 --> 00:34:45,816 NOT TOO HARD. 986 00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:47,651 - [laughing] OKAY. 987 00:34:50,889 --> 00:34:52,219 - OKAY. 988 00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:54,488 ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF SERVING ALMOND MILK, 989 00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:55,786 RAISE YOUR HAND. 990 00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:57,397 - UM, HI. 991 00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,169 UH, MY DAUGHTER CLOUD HAS A TREE NUT ALLERGY. 992 00:34:59,198 --> 00:35:00,628 ARE YOU CRAZY? 993 00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:02,126 - OKAY. 994 00:35:02,168 --> 00:35:06,238 AND ALL THOSE IN FAVOR OF 1%. 995 00:35:06,272 --> 00:35:09,442 - SHE COULD DIE! 996 00:35:09,475 --> 00:35:11,475 THANK YOU. - ALL RIGHT. 997 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,850 WELL, THERE'S NO MAJORITY, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE VOTED TWICE. 998 00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:16,919 SO CLASS MOVES TO SERVING BOTH. 999 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:20,718 ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? ALL RIGHT. 1000 00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:24,222 WELL, THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WRAPS IT UP FOR THE NIGHT. 1001 00:35:24,256 --> 00:35:25,086 - GOOD NIGHT. 1002 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,233 - UM, IF I COULD JUST, REALLY QUICK-- 1003 00:35:27,259 --> 00:35:28,759 WANTED TO CLEAR THE AIR. 1004 00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:30,364 UM, ABOUT THAT EMAIL THAT I SENT? 1005 00:35:30,396 --> 00:35:31,556 I'M REALLY SORRY. 1006 00:35:31,597 --> 00:35:34,467 YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA BLAME IT ON THE SLEEPING PILL I TOOK. 1007 00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:36,700 THAT I TOOK...LAST...NIGHT. 1008 00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:38,465 UM... 1009 00:35:38,504 --> 00:35:39,474 SEE, I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE GIVEN YOU 1010 00:35:39,505 --> 00:35:40,765 THE WRONG IMPRESSION ABOUT ME. 1011 00:35:40,806 --> 00:35:42,706 I'M NOT CREEPY. 1012 00:35:42,741 --> 00:35:43,811 BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 1013 00:35:43,842 --> 00:35:45,682 IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS, CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THEM? 1014 00:35:45,711 --> 00:35:46,711 BECAUSE I AM AT A POINT IN MY LIFE 1015 00:35:46,745 --> 00:35:47,805 WHERE I AM OPEN TO SOME FEEDBACK. 1016 00:35:47,846 --> 00:35:49,516 - UH, MEN SHOULDN'T WEAR CROCS. - UGLY. 1017 00:35:49,548 --> 00:35:51,178 - OKAY. WELL, I'M NOT WEARING CROCS. 1018 00:35:51,217 --> 00:35:53,517 - MADDY'S PONYTAILS ARE NEVER EVEN. 1019 00:35:53,552 --> 00:35:55,252 - NEVER. - YOU DRESS LIKE A TERRORIST. 1020 00:35:55,287 --> 00:35:57,387 - YOU'RE A WITCH. 1021 00:35:57,423 --> 00:35:59,293 - WHY ARE YOU TAKING SLEEPING PILLS ON A WEEKNIGHT? 1022 00:35:59,325 --> 00:36:00,785 - HEY, IF THE MAN LIKES HIS SLEEPING PILLS, 1023 00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:02,656 I SAY LET HIM HAVE THEM, RIGHT? 1024 00:36:02,694 --> 00:36:03,664 I MEAN, WE'RE ALL TRYING TO MAKE IT THROUGH. 1025 00:36:03,695 --> 00:36:04,895 - WELL, YEAH. 1026 00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:06,570 BUT, YOU SEE, I DON'T TAKE SLEEPING PILLS. 1027 00:36:06,598 --> 00:36:07,768 I JUST--I JUST TOOK A PILL, YOU KNOW? 1028 00:36:07,799 --> 00:36:08,799 I COULDN'T SLEEP. I'M NOT ON DRUGS. 1029 00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,444 - WELL, WHAT IS THAT WHITE POWDER ON YOUR FACE? 1030 00:36:11,470 --> 00:36:13,210 IS THAT COCAINE? 1031 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:14,539 - HEY, IF THE MAN LIKES HIS COCAINE-- 1032 00:36:14,573 --> 00:36:16,843 - NO, THAT'S NOT COCAINE. IT'S FROM A JELLY DONUT. 1033 00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:18,605 YOU KNOW, THAT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE 1034 00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:21,554 IF MY WIFE HADN'T LEFT ME. 1035 00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:22,750 WHAT I MEAN IS, IS THAT SHE WAS THE ONE 1036 00:36:22,781 --> 00:36:25,251 THAT WOULD HAVE NOTICED THAT, OR IF I HAD COFFEE BREATH, 1037 00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:27,494 OR IF MADDY'S PONYTAILS AREN'T EVEN, THANK YOU. 1038 00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:29,919 BUT SHE'S GONE, SO... 1039 00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:31,955 NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING I DID. 1040 00:36:31,990 --> 00:36:33,860 OR MAYBE I DIDN'T DO ENOUGH. I DON'T KNOW. 1041 00:36:33,892 --> 00:36:35,592 I'LL NEVER KNOW. 1042 00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:39,667 BUT I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THINGS GOOD FOR MY KID, OKAY? 1043 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,768 MAYBE I'M TRYING TOO HARD. 1044 00:36:46,972 --> 00:36:50,412 NO, LOOK. I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE ME. 1045 00:36:50,442 --> 00:36:52,812 JUST ALL I ASK IS YOU DON'T 1046 00:36:52,844 --> 00:36:56,654 PUNISH MY EIGHT-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER FOR MY MISTAKES. 1047 00:37:00,686 --> 00:37:02,516 THANK YOU. 1048 00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:04,594 WHOA! - OOH! 1049 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:06,533 - AAAH...I'M VERY SORRY. 1050 00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:10,758 THAT WAS-- THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 1051 00:37:10,796 --> 00:37:12,526 THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY. 1052 00:37:21,473 --> 00:37:23,583 - HEY. HOW'D IT GO? 1053 00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:25,639 - OH, NOT WELL. NO, NOT WELL. 1054 00:37:25,677 --> 00:37:26,807 I AM THE CREEPY DAD. 1055 00:37:26,845 --> 00:37:29,275 AND, UH, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. 1056 00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:30,675 - WELL, I'VE GOT SOMEONE HERE 1057 00:37:30,716 --> 00:37:32,876 THAT I THINK COULD CHEER YOU UP. 1058 00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:34,388 - HEY. 1059 00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:36,020 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE? 1060 00:37:36,054 --> 00:37:38,624 - IT'S FILLED WITH 365 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU. 1061 00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:40,527 I WROTE ONE FOR EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. 1062 00:37:40,559 --> 00:37:41,959 - OH, MADDY. 1063 00:37:41,993 --> 00:37:44,663 COME HERE. 1064 00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:47,796 - MAYBE THE OTHER MOMS AT SCHOOL DON'T LIKE YOU. 1065 00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:50,043 BUT I DO. 1066 00:37:50,068 --> 00:37:53,668 YOU CAN TAKE ONE OUT NOW. - OKAY. 1067 00:37:53,705 --> 00:37:57,005 - "YOU LIFT ME UP HIGH TO REACH TALL THINGS." 1068 00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,512 - YOU DO. - I DO. 1069 00:38:00,546 --> 00:38:03,516 - NO, YOU CAN ONLY TAKE ONE OUT PER DAY. 1070 00:38:03,549 --> 00:38:05,479 OTHERWISE WE WON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE YEAR. 1071 00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:07,387 - WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. IT'S BEEN A ROUGH ONE. 1072 00:38:07,419 --> 00:38:09,559 SO I THINK I'M GONNA NEED A FEW MORE OF THESE, OKAY? 1073 00:38:09,588 --> 00:38:10,958 - FINE. 1074 00:38:10,989 --> 00:38:14,629 - "YOU TAKE ME OUT FOR ICE CREAM." 1075 00:38:18,564 --> 00:38:20,504 - HEY, BECKY. 1076 00:38:20,532 --> 00:38:22,602 - HEY, IAN. 1077 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:27,374 - WHO'S, UH, WHO'S THE GUY? 1078 00:38:27,406 --> 00:38:29,736 - OH, THAT'S JUST... 1079 00:38:29,775 --> 00:38:32,605 SOMEONE I'VE BEEN SEEING. 1080 00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:34,014 HE'S IN COLLEGE. 1081 00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:36,475 - OH. 1082 00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:40,345 - I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, IAN. 1083 00:38:42,788 --> 00:38:45,518 - ALL RIGHT, ONE MORE. 1084 00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:49,627 - "YOU LIKE TO SURPRISE ME." 1085 00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:53,401 [tapping on window] 1086 00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:55,632 - YOU'RE PARKED IN AN ILLEGAL SPOT. 1087 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:56,767 - JEFF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1088 00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:59,672 - WHO'S JEFF? MY NAME IS DOLPH. 1089 00:38:59,705 --> 00:39:01,135 - OH. 1090 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:04,542 - AND I'M THE MEANEST METER MAID ON THIS BLOCK. 1091 00:39:10,081 --> 00:39:12,481 LISTEN, YOU MAY BE BEAUTIFUL. 1092 00:39:12,518 --> 00:39:14,588 BUT I WILL WRITE YOU A TICKET. 1093 00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:17,660 UNLESS, OF COURSE... 1094 00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,859 - OH! [laughs] 1095 00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:21,731 - YOU CAN PERSUADE ME OTHERWISE. 1096 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,500 - WAIT, HERE? 1097 00:39:23,529 --> 00:39:25,829 THERE'S PEOPLE AROUND. 1098 00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:28,704 - I THINK THIS MAY BE MY THING. 1099 00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:35,905 - [laughing] 1100 00:39:43,615 --> 00:39:47,645 - ALL RIGHT, LAST ONE. I PROMISE. 1101 00:39:47,686 --> 00:39:51,016 YOU'RE THE BEST DAD IN THE WHOLE WORLD." 1102 00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:56,525 - YOU'LL DO THE, UH-- YOU'LL DO THE COOKIES. 1103 00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:59,532 - COOKIES. - I'LL DO THE COFFEE. 1104 00:39:59,565 --> 00:40:01,765 - KRISTEN. UH, HI, EXCUSE ME. 1105 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,540 UM, TEACHER APPRECIATION DAY NEXT FRIDAY. 1106 00:40:03,569 --> 00:40:05,069 I GOT THE CUPCAKES ALL COVERED. 1107 00:40:05,103 --> 00:40:07,713 AND I PROMISE THEY WILL LOOK LIKE CUPCAKES. 1108 00:40:10,542 --> 00:40:11,912 - BRIAN? BRIAN, WAIT. 1109 00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:14,213 YOU KNOW, CAN YOU GIVE ME ONE SECOND? 1110 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,615 LISTEN, UM, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 1111 00:40:16,648 --> 00:40:19,118 WHEN YOU OPENED UP LAST NIGHT IN THE MEETING, 1112 00:40:19,150 --> 00:40:21,050 I COMPLETELY RELATED. 1113 00:40:21,086 --> 00:40:23,516 I MEAN, BEING A SINGLE PARENT IS REALLY TOUGH. 1114 00:40:23,555 --> 00:40:25,685 - YEAH, IT IS. RIGHT? 1115 00:40:25,724 --> 00:40:27,694 - IT IS, AND I SCREW UP ALL THE TIME. 1116 00:40:27,726 --> 00:40:30,696 I MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT EVERYTHING. 1117 00:40:30,729 --> 00:40:33,869 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A GOOD DAD. AND ANYONE CAN SEE THAT. 1118 00:40:33,899 --> 00:40:35,769 - WELL, THANK YOU. - WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME. 1119 00:40:35,801 --> 00:40:38,501 AND I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT HURTING MADDY'S FEELINGS. 1120 00:40:38,537 --> 00:40:41,567 - OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY. SHE'S A PRETTY RESILIENT KID. 1121 00:40:41,607 --> 00:40:43,607 - WAIT TILL SHE'S A TEENAGER. 1122 00:40:43,642 --> 00:40:45,542 - OH. 1123 00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:47,007 - MY DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH SOME BOY STUFF. 1124 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:50,615 AND SHE JUST CRASHED HER CAR INTO A MAILBOX. 1125 00:40:50,649 --> 00:40:52,549 - OH, WELL, HEY, LISTEN. TAKE IT BY THE SHOP. 1126 00:40:52,584 --> 00:40:54,794 I'LL HAVE A LOOK AT IT. - NO, I COULDN'T DO THAT. 1127 00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:55,790 - OH, YES, YOU CAN. 1128 00:40:55,821 --> 00:40:57,621 I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I AM WILLING TO BUY THEM. 1129 00:40:57,656 --> 00:41:00,256 - UH, WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE. 1130 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,891 OKAY, OKAY. 1131 00:41:01,927 --> 00:41:03,657 WELL, THEN YOU HAVE TO LET ME TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER. 1132 00:41:03,695 --> 00:41:05,795 - OKAY. WELL, TELL YOU WHAT. 1133 00:41:05,831 --> 00:41:08,701 HOW ABOUT I MAKE US BOTH DINNER? 1134 00:41:08,734 --> 00:41:11,544 - DEAL. - DEAL. 1135 00:41:11,570 --> 00:41:14,070 - GOOD. 1136 00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:15,605 DID SOMEBODY CALL YOU A WITCH LAST NIGHT? 1137 00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,941 - YEAH, THEY DID. I THOUGHT THAT WAS IN MY HEAD. 1138 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:19,806 - NO, THAT HAPPENED. THAT REALLY HAPPENED. 1139 00:41:19,845 --> 00:41:21,805 - YEAH, IT DID. - YEAH, IT WAS WEIRD. 1140 00:41:21,847 --> 00:41:24,777 - THAT WAS WEIRD. IT WAS WEIRD. 1141 00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:25,876 - OH. HEY, GUYS. 1142 00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,247 - HEY, JELLY BEAN! - HI, DAD. 1143 00:41:28,286 --> 00:41:30,616 BYE, EMMA. - BYE, MADDY. 1144 00:41:30,656 --> 00:41:31,616 - ALL RIGHT. 1145 00:41:31,657 --> 00:41:35,627 BYE. - BYE. 1146 00:41:35,661 --> 00:41:37,601 HEY, KRISTEN? 1147 00:41:37,629 --> 00:41:38,599 - YEAH? 1148 00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:40,170 - WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE IN THE FRONT SEAT? 1149 00:41:40,198 --> 00:41:43,298 - OH, UM...THAT. 1150 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:44,374 THAT'S A GIFT FROM MY BROTHER. 1151 00:41:44,402 --> 00:41:47,542 IT'S A SAFETY DUMMY, FOR WHEN I'M DRIVING ALONE. 1152 00:41:47,573 --> 00:41:50,743 AND I DON'T HAVE AN ESCORT FOLLOWING ME HOME. 1153 00:41:50,776 --> 00:41:53,676 - AH, THAT'S SMART. 1154 00:41:53,712 --> 00:41:56,082 IT'S A LITTLE CREEPY. 1155 00:41:56,114 --> 00:41:58,124 - I GUESS IT IS. 1156 00:41:58,149 --> 00:42:00,849 A LITTLE CREEPY. 1157 00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:03,146 ALL RIGHT, SEE YA. 1158 00:42:03,188 --> 00:42:06,988 - SEE YA SOON. 1159 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,825 YOU READY? 1160 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,900 - YEAH. - ALL RIGHT. 1161 00:42:10,929 --> 00:42:13,569 - SO I WAS INVITED TO CLARA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. 1162 00:42:13,599 --> 00:42:14,629 - YEAH? 1163 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:16,326 - YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE ALL HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS. 1164 00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:18,267 I DEFINITELY WANT TO GO AS VOLDEMORT. 1165 00:42:18,303 --> 00:42:20,113 - VOLDEMORT? THAT'S A BAD GUY. 1166 00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:22,268 WELL, THEN I'LL BE THE GOOD GUY. 1167 00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:24,577 - NO. WAIT. [laughing] 1168 00:42:24,610 --> 00:42:27,610 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 1169 00:42:59,377 --> 00:43:01,347 - THAT'S A LOUD BLOUSE. - BITCH. 81717

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.