All language subtitles for Love.Bites.2011.S01E05_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:04,239 - NOW THE REASON WE'RE HERE 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:07,712 IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:11,251 TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER 4 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:15,119 WHEN LOVE WALKS IN THE ROOM 5 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:18,289 EVERYBODY STAND UP 6 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,319 OH, IT'S GOOD, GOOD, GOOD 7 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,615 SAY I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 8 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,727 I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 9 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,732 [Simple Minds' Don't You (Forget About Me)] 10 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,467 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY 11 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:41,105 OOH-OOH-OOH 12 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,812 OHH 13 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,253 - [sports announcer] 14 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,679 AND IF YOU CRACK THE BOOK ON EVANS, 15 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,854 YOU SHOULD KNOW TO KEEP THE BALL OF THE STRIKE ZONE 16 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,852 BECAUSE HE'S A ONE-MAN WRECKING CREW. 17 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,754 - HEY, BUDDY, I KNOW YOU'RE ON YOUR LUNCH, 18 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,356 BUT YOU GOT A SEC? 19 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,858 - YEAH. WHAT'S UP? 20 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,130 - NOTICE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS? 21 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,661 - "MOST LIKELY TO PRUDENCE." 22 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,226 - HMM. - I'M SORRY, DAD. 23 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,865 I JUST--I CAN'T GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD. 24 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,799 - I KNOW IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF MONTHS. 25 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,666 BUT I GOT A VOLLEYBALL TROPHY OUT HERE THAT READS, 26 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,205 "MOST VALUABLE PRUDENCE." 27 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:18,782 [game music, chatter] 28 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,282 TAKING THIS BREAKUP KINDA HARD, HUH? 29 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,554 - IT'S NOT A BREAKUP. 30 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,522 WE'RE JUST TAKING A BREAK. 31 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,421 IT'S LIKE THAT SAYING, IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, 32 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,793 SET IT FREE, AND IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO YOU. 33 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,222 - STRIKE. 34 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,458 - ALWAYS. 35 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,702 - I LOVE YOU, PAL, BUT YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF A PLAN "B." 36 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,428 I KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP. 37 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,734 [cheering] 38 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,896 THAT SKINNY LITTLE BASTARD IS 1 FOR 26 39 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,404 AGAINST RIGHT-HANDED PITCHING, AND STILL HE GETS ON BASE. 40 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,667 THIS HAS GOTTA BE OUR YEAR. 41 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,205 - YOU BET YOUR ASS IT'S OUR YEAR. 42 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,610 LOOK WHO'S COMING UP. 43 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,341 - DANTE EVANS. 44 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,607 - I DUNNO, DANTE'S BEEN IN A SLUMP LATELY. 45 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,505 IF HE WANTS TO GET ON BASE, HE NEEDS TO SAY A PRAYER 46 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,377 TO THE PATRON SAINT OF BASEBALL. 47 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,216 - DANTE DOESN'T NEED SAINT RITA OF CASCIA. 48 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,351 HE'LL BE FINE. 49 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,446 HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME. 50 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,658 - SWINGING... 51 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,759 IT IS... HOME RUN! 52 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,561 [both cheer] - DING-DONG! 53 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:06,933 STRAIGHT INTO THE PARKING LOT. 54 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860 - I KNEW HE COULD DO IT. HE NEVER LETS ME DOWN. 55 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,196 - YEAH. - EXCUSE ME. 56 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,831 I WAS HOPING TO FIND A TROPHY FOR DOGS. 57 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,866 - BACK WALL, THIRD SHELF. - TAKE WHAT YOU WANT. 58 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:18,342 - DANTE, IT'S YOUR 11TH WALK-OFF THIS YEAR. 59 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,872 WOULD YOU CONSIDER THIS THE END OF YOUR RECENT SLUMP? 60 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:21,878 - I'D HAVE TO SAY SO, CHIP. 61 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,739 - YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK ONE OF THESE PITCHERS 62 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,277 WOULD BUY AN XBOX. 63 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,783 THE HOLE IN HIS SWING IS LOW AND AWAY. 64 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:28,945 - THANK YOU, DANTE. - THANKS, MAN. 65 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,822 HEY, BABY. 66 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,491 - HEY, THAT GIRL KINDA LOOKS LIKE PRUDENCE, HUH? 67 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,561 - YOU THINK? 68 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,918 - BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL IF EVANS CAN WALK OFF 69 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,826 WITH ANOTHER DIVISION TITLE. 70 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:41,328 - WOW, SHE LOOKS A LOT LIKE PRUDENCE. 71 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,862 - PRUDENCE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE BASEBALL. 72 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:43,726 - YEAH, AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF GIRLS 73 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,804 HAVE THE HAIR LIKE THAT AND WEAR THE-- 74 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,843 OH, MY GOD. 75 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,438 - OH YEAH 76 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,710 I AM IN MISERY 77 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,710 THERE AIN'T NOBODY 78 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,212 - IT'S NOT ENOUGH YOU BROKE MY HEART, 79 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,514 YOU HAD TO DATE MY HERO? 80 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,605 - HI, SAM. 81 00:02:58,646 --> 00:02:59,776 - WHO'S NEXT ON YOUR TO-DO LIST, 82 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:00,953 THE GREEN LANTERN? BONO? 83 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,921 - SAM, PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN. 84 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,790 - HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I DATED YOUR HERO? 85 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,618 - OPRAH? - STINGS, DOESN'T IT? 86 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,694 ME FRENCHING OPRAH ON TV? 87 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:09,892 HER HANDS EVERYWHERE. 88 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,863 - SAM, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU. 89 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,932 AND AS CRAZY AS THIS MAY SOUND, 90 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,961 YOU KIND OF HAD A HAND IN BRINGING US TOGETHER. 91 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,566 - WHAT? - IT'S TRUE. 92 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,829 DO YOU REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS BACK 93 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,697 DANTE HAD THAT BOOK SIGNING FOR HIS BIOGRAPHY? 94 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,865 - DANTE'S IN FUEGO. 95 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,413 I COULDN'T GO. I HAVE CONJUNCTIVITIS. 96 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,938 - WELL, AFTER HOW THINGS ENDED 97 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,713 I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU. 98 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,841 BUT DANTE AND I GOT TO TALKING, 99 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,278 AND, I MEAN, THANKS TO YOU I KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM-- 100 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,575 HIS LOVE OF PANINIS, 101 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,386 HIS INTEREST IN CLEAN COAL TECHNOLOGY, 102 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,859 HIS FIJIAN OUTREACH PROGRAM. 103 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:46,029 - YOU SAID THAT YOU NEEDED A BREAK FROM RELATIONSHIPS. 104 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,899 - I NEEDED A BREAK FROM YOU. 105 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,528 - BECAUSE I'M NOT FAMOUS? 106 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,903 - BECAUSE YOU WATCH LIFE FROM THE SIDELINES, SAM. 107 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,802 HOW COME YOU NEVER WENT ON THAT JOB INTERVIEW I GOT YOU? 108 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:55,965 THAT SPORTS MAGAZINE. 109 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,813 - I HAD TICKETS TO A DOUBLEHEADER. 110 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,779 - WHAT'S THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? 111 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,809 - WHEN WE WON THE SERIES IN '02. 112 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,814 - WE? SAM, REALLY? 113 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,516 WHAT POSITION DID YOU PLAY? 114 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,848 - THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL--FAN. 115 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:13,753 - SAM, YOU'RE NOT A DOER. 116 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,687 YOU'RE A LOT OF WONDERFUL THINGS, 117 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,294 BUT YOU'RE NOT THAT. 118 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,486 - I'M NOT A "DON'T-ER." 119 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,628 - WHAT'S UP, BABY? 120 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:23,803 YOU IN THE MOOD FOR SOME BENIHANA? 121 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,701 - OH, MY GOD. 122 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,543 - DANTE, THIS IS AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, SAM. 123 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,339 HE'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS. 124 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,571 - WHAT'S UP, MAN? 125 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,836 - HI. 126 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,914 - YOU DON'T SAY? 127 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,353 - HI. 128 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,349 THEN HE INVITED ME TO DINNER, 129 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,881 AND I THINK I PEED A LITTLE BIT, DAD. 130 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,385 I PEED IN FRONT OF MY HERO. 131 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,748 - THOSE BIG STARS, THEY'RE USED TO THAT. 132 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,057 SO YOU GONNA GO? 133 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,558 - I DON'T KNOW. HOW COULD I NOT GO? 134 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,761 I'VE GOT HIS ROOKIE CARD, HIS FATHEAD WALL ART. 135 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,404 THE GUY'S A FIRST-BALLOT HALL-OF-FAMER. 136 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,600 IF BARRY BONDS AND BABE RUTH HAD A CHILD-- 137 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,743 - HIS HEAD WOULDN'T FIT THROUGH THE BIRTH CANAL. 138 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:02,669 YOU SHOULD GO. 139 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,513 - BUT HOW CAN I SIT ACROSS FROM THE GUY 140 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,738 WHEN I KNOW HE'S PLAYING SLAP-AND-TICKLE 141 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,873 WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE? 142 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,077 - THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM. 143 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,778 - BUT IS IT INSURMOUNTABLE? 144 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,010 I HAVE DREAMED OF HAVING DINNER WITH DANTE EVANS. 145 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,116 WELL, IT WAS MORE LIKE BEER AND WINGS, 146 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,478 AND BONO WAS THERE TOO. 147 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,747 BUT HE WOULDN'T EAT THE WINGS. 148 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,515 - WHO'S HE SHOWING OFF FOR? 149 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,863 LISTEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE CHANCE TO BREAK BREAD 150 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,789 WITH DANTE FREAKIN' EVANS. 151 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,464 WOMEN COME AND GO. 152 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,793 HEROES ARE FOREVER. 153 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,427 - THAT IS TRUE. 154 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,562 MAYBE I CAN DO THIS. 155 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,797 - OF COURSE YOU CAN. 156 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,972 YOU'RE A SACOVITCH. 157 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,601 YOU'LL SACK UP, 158 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,896 WEAR YOUR BEST SUIT, 159 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,137 LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, 160 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,511 AND SHAKE HIS HAND. 161 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,911 BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? 162 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,853 - THE WORLD'S BEST SON. - AH. 163 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,478 - IT'S AN HONOR, DAD. 164 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,054 BUT I CAN'T GO ALONE. 165 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,781 - WELL, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND YOU A DATE. 166 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,448 [laughter] 167 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,487 - OH, MAN. 168 00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:58,463 - OH, DANTE, YOU ARE A CHARACTER. 169 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,792 IS HE NOT A CHARACTER? 170 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,558 HEY, WHEN YOU WON THE BATTING TITLE IN '06, 171 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,597 WHAT KIND OF METAL DID THEY USE FOR THE TROPHY? 172 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,133 - I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I WIN MY NEXT ONE. 173 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:11,097 - HA! YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE? 174 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,508 TO YOU, BUDDY. 175 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,010 - YOU KNOW, SAM USED TO PLAY. 176 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,581 HE WAS REALLY GOOD. 177 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,449 - OH, NOT REALLY GOOD. 178 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,678 I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER 179 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,782 IF IT WEREN'T FOR A MEDICAL CONDITION. 180 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,853 - HIS LEFT LEG'S SHORTER THAN HIS RIGHT. 181 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,793 - THE DOCTORS TOLD US TO PULL IT, 182 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:28,118 BUT ME AND MY WIFE HAD OUR OWN STUFF TO WORK THROUGH, SO... 183 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:31,655 - OH, DANTE, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM THE BAG? 184 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,862 - IT'S A LITTLE TOKEN FOR MY BIGGEST FAN. 185 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,895 - HOO-HOO-HOO. 186 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,699 - HOLY-- - OH! 187 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,471 - IS THIS AUTOGRAPHED BY THE WHOLE TEAM? 188 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,801 - YEAH, WELL, EVERYBODY BUT MURDOCH. 189 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:42,865 HE CAN'T READ. 190 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,203 - MOTHER OF MERCY. 191 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,437 IS THIS-- 192 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,673 - DANTE MIST. 193 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,437 - THAT'S NOT EVEN ON THE SHELVES YET. 194 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,877 - 100% CANE SUGAR. 195 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,811 INFUSED WITH EXCELLENCE. 196 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,546 - EXCUSE ME, MR. EVANS. 197 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:55,822 I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, 198 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,889 BUT MY HUSBAND IS A GIGANTIC FAN. 199 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,019 - JUST A LITTLE BIT. 200 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,793 - COULD YOU SIGN HIS SHIRT? 201 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,822 - AIN'T NO BOTHER AT ALL, BIG FELLA. 202 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,857 YO, DANTE LOVES THE LOVE. 203 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,592 - OH, DANTE LOVES THE LOVE. 204 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,827 - OKAY. - THANK YOU. 205 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,631 - GOT YOU. THERE YOU GO. 206 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,733 - OKAY. 207 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,904 - OH, BAM. 208 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,732 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 209 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,937 - GOOD NIGHT. COME ON. 210 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,639 - GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT! 211 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,111 - SORRY ABOUT THAT. - THAT'S DANTE. 212 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,939 HE ALWAYS MAKES TIME FOR A FAN. 213 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,584 - I JUST DO WHAT I DO, BABY. 214 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,851 [phone chimes] 215 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,779 EXCUSE ME, WON'T YOU? - MM-HMM. 216 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,575 - HOW 'BOUT THAT? YOU TWO HAVE THE SAME PHONE. 217 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,547 - YEAH, BUT HE PROBABLY HAS FAMOUS PEOPLE ON HIS SPEED DIAL. 218 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,086 I ONLY HAVE YOU AND COUSIN BARRY. 219 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,791 - DON'T SELL YOUR COUSIN SHORT. 220 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:36,993 HE MET THE MAYOR ONCE. 221 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,194 - HEY, SCOTTY BOOKED ME ON THAT TAQUITO HEAVEN COMMERCIAL. 222 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:42,896 - OOH, I LOVE THEIR SALSA VERDE. 223 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,030 - SPICY! 224 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,634 DANTE FEELS BAD. 225 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,766 DANTE'S BEEN JAWING ABOUT HIMSELF ALL NIGHT. 226 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,801 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 227 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,637 KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES OR WHAT? 228 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,043 - [laughs] M-- 229 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,814 UM... 230 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,114 WELL, I-- 231 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,205 - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT HE IS. 232 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,946 I TELL YOU WHAT, ONCE THIS KID LINES UP 233 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,281 A PLAN "B," WATCH OUT. 234 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,775 HE COULD BE PRESIDENT. 235 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,947 - HA, WELL, MAYBE NOT PRESIDENT. 236 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,956 - [giggling] 237 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,658 - EXCUSE ME. 238 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,990 YOU KNOW WHAT, I HAVE TO-- 239 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,955 I'M SORRY, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT-- 240 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,564 I HAVE TO--THIS IS-- 241 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:29,879 - HEY. 242 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,310 - HI. 243 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,854 - YOUR DAD SEEMS LIKE HE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME. 244 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,281 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS SINCE MOM LEFT, 245 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:39,986 SO IT'S JUST NICE TO SEE HIM FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN. 246 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,220 - [laughs] 247 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,785 - SO ARE YOU... 248 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,125 - I'M GREAT. I-I'M GREAT. 249 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,330 HOW 'BOUT YOU, PRU? 250 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,801 ARE YOU--ARE YOU HAPPY? 251 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,800 LIKE--LIKE REALLY HAPPY? 252 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,742 - I THINK SO, YEAH. 253 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,768 - WELL, THEN I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. 254 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,774 THAT'S--DANTE'S A CLASS ACT. 255 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,666 - MM-HMM. 256 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,278 - I GUESS THE... GUESS THE BETTER MAN WON. 257 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,280 - OH...OH, NOT BETTER. 258 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,783 JUST DIFFERENT. 259 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:15,264 I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME TONIGHT, SAM. 260 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,788 - ME TOO. 261 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,233 - I SHOULD, UM... 262 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,710 - YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU 263 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,209 SEAT THE CUSTOMERS ALL NIGHT. 264 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,640 HOW'D YOU LIKE A STRAW FOR THAT SHAKE, GIRL? 265 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,106 - THINK YOU CAN HANDLE ALL THIS? 266 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,975 - WHY DON'T YOU TEXT ME AFTER YOU GET OFF WORK 267 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,854 AND WE'LL FIND OUT? 268 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,623 - DANTE. 269 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,823 WHY? 270 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,294 - I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU STANDING THERE, JIM. 271 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,291 - IT'S SAM. 272 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,262 - YEAH. YO, YOU KNOW, HEY. 273 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,962 YOU KNOW HOW IT GETS ON THE ROAD. 274 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,164 YOU KNOW, DANTE GETS TENSE. 275 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,795 - YOU'RE NOT ON THE ROAD. 276 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,970 - DANTE GETS TENSE AT HOME TOO. 277 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,729 PRUDENCE KNOWS THE DEAL. 278 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:01,838 - WHAT, THE DEAL? 279 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,139 NO, I'M PRETTY SURE PRUDENCE DOES NOT KNOW THE DEAL. 280 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,811 AND I THINK--I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TELL HER. 281 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,841 - OR WHAT? 282 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,407 - OR I-I WILL. 283 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,084 - REALLY? 284 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,753 WHO IS SHE GONNA BELIEVE, MAN, 285 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,252 HER LOSER OF AN EX-BOYFRIEND 286 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,693 OR THE GUY THAT JUST BOUGHT HER 287 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,088 A WALL-SIZED THOMAS KINKADE, 288 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,349 THE PAINTER OF LIGHT? 289 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,957 - YOU KNOW, I USED TO DEFEND YOU. 290 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,419 PEOPLE WOULD CALL YOU A SELF-ABSORBED, 291 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,027 WASHED-UP 'ROID FREAK WITH A HOLE IN HIS SWING 292 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,760 THE SIZE OF CHICAGO. 293 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,926 YOU'RE NO HERO. 294 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,433 YOU'RE A JOKE... INFUSED WITH DOUCHERY. 295 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,366 - AIN'T NO HOLE IN MY SWING. 296 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,842 - LIKE HELL, THERE ISN'T. 297 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,370 YOU SUCK, EVANS. 298 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,735 I BET THAT DANDELION COULD STRIKE YOU OUT. 299 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,414 - [laughs] 300 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,852 - OH, YOU THINK YOU CAN STRIKE ME OUT, DANDELION? 301 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,048 - UHH... 302 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,379 - UHH. SOUNDS LIKE A YES TO DANTE. 303 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,123 - OKAY, ONE AT-BAT. 304 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,255 IF I STRIKE YOU OUT, 305 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,759 YOU GOTTA COME CLEAN TO PRUDENCE. 306 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,691 - FEELS PRETTY GOOD TO TRY TO BE THE HERO, HUH? 307 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,158 WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS, HERO? 308 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,765 WHEN YOU LOSE, YOU GET GONE FOR GOOD 309 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,268 AND LET ME BANG YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND IN PEACE. 310 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,839 - OH, YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BE-- 311 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,798 YOU'RE GONNA BE RESTIN' IN PIECES WHEN I'M DONE 312 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,367 DOING TO YOU WHAT I-- 313 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,314 WHAT I'M GONNA-- WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOU. 314 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,410 CAN WE JUST DO THIS? 315 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,811 - YEAH. I KNOW A LITTLE PARK RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. 316 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,176 - YOU READY? 317 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,413 - UH, I THINK SO. 318 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,948 - DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE. - OKAY. 319 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:23,883 - YOU DO THOSE STRETCHES? 320 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,217 - WHERE WOULD I HAVE DONE STRETCHES, DAD, 321 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,352 IN THE CAR? 322 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,356 [grandiose rock music] 323 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:35,029 324 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:37,332 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET HIM GET THE CHECK. 325 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,734 - IT'S OKAY. 326 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,937 THINK I'M ABOUT TO PAY FOR IT NOW. 327 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,806 [hip-hop music] 328 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,105 - BET YOU'RE REGRETTING THOSE BUFFALO WINGS NOW. 329 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,247 - THEY WERE FOR THE TABLE. 330 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,093 - YEAH. 331 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,020 - HEY, UH, WOULD YOU HOLD MY PHONE FOR ME? 332 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,326 THERE MAY BE SOME TROPHY-RELATED EMERGENCY CALLS COMING IN. 333 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,529 - SURE. THIS IS REALLY EXCITING, 334 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,061 BUT ARE YOU OKAY DOING THIS 335 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,497 WITHOUT YOUR CORRECTIVE CLEATS? - HA! 336 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,871 - I HAVE THE PUFF FROM MY COMPACT 337 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,070 IF YOU WANT TO STUFF IT IN YOUR SHOE. 338 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,171 - I'LL BE FINE. 339 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,442 OOH! 340 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,169 GIVE ME THE PUFF. 341 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,435 [Dante chuckling] 342 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,072 YOU SERIOUS? 343 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,478 YOU WANNA DO THIS. 344 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:25,279 ALL RIGHT. COME ON. 345 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,782 - OOH OOH 346 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:30,424 347 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,190 SO OFF WE GO 348 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:32,949 LET THE TRUMPETS BLOW 349 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,356 - ALL RIGHT, SON, HERE WE GO. 350 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,188 - TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. 351 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:41,094 352 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,198 - WOW! 353 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,000 I MEAN, THAT IS AMAZING. 354 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,902 I HAVEN'T SEEN A 30-MILE-AN-HOUR FASTBALL 355 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,474 SINCE I WAS, LIKE, SIX. 356 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,501 - [laughs] 357 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,996 - YEAH, WELL, 358 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,308 THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 359 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,909 - [laughs] 360 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,381 - THAT IS GOOD NEWS. 40 MILES AN HOUR THIS TIME. 361 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,049 - YOU CAN DO IT! 362 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,948 - COME ON. 363 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,250 - ALL RIGHT, GIVE HIM THE HEAT! 364 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,521 GIVE HIM THE HEAT! 365 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,120 - FORE! 366 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,157 COME ON.... COME ON, COME ON. 367 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,232 - OH... 368 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,201 - OHH! - HA HA! 369 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,429 - HEY, BABY, REMIND ME. 370 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,825 I NEED TO SEND A CHECK TO THAT DUDE 371 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,127 WHOSE WINDOW I JUST BUSTED IN EL MONTE. 372 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,498 - TIME. 373 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,107 - WHAT AM I DOING? I CAN'T BEAT THIS GUY. 374 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,840 - YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 375 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,576 LOOK WHERE YOU ARE, SAMMY. 376 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,080 YOU'RE NOT ON THE SIDELINES ANYMORE. 377 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,352 YOU'RE OUT HERE ON THE MOUND! 378 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,881 AND WIN OR LOSE, 379 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:38,146 YOU GOT A TROPHY WAITING AT HOME FOR YOU 380 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,215 THAT READS "PARTICIPANT." 381 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,863 - THANKS, DAD. 382 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,092 TELL YOU WHAT, 383 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,956 SET ONE ASIDE THAT SAYS "WINNER." 384 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,055 - THAT-A-BOY. 385 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,456 RIP HIS NUTS OFF. 386 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,209 COME ON. COME TO PAPA. 387 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,107 - [exhales] 388 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:06,510 [organ plays "Charge!"] 389 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,216 male announcer: THIS IS DEFINITELY A HITTER 390 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,048 WHO CAPITALIZES ON MISTAKES. 391 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,293 SO THE PITCHER WILL WANT TO KEEP THE BALL 392 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,889 AS FAR OUT OF HIS WHEELHOUSE AS POSSIBLE. 393 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,222 [voice echoing] ANYWHERE ELSE WILL... 394 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,957 [jet engine sound] 395 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,929 - OH, MY GOD! 396 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,104 - [coughing] 397 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,343 I'M GOOD! - NONSENSE! 398 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,568 YOU'RE GOING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. 399 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,102 YOU COULD HAVE A COLLAPSED LUNG. 400 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,138 - WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 401 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,312 - BABY, I BARELY TAPPED IT. 402 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,011 HEY, LITTLE MAN, I'M SORRY. 403 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,483 YOU WANT ONE OF MY JESUS CHAINS? 404 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,510 - [coughs] - DANTE! 405 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,075 - A JESUS CHAIN AND A HUG? 406 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,083 [cell phone chimes] 407 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,224 - OH. SAM? 408 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,320 DON'T FORGET YOUR PHONE. 409 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,151 - THAT'S NOT MINE. 410 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,016 I MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT CONFUSED. 411 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,215 I THINK IT'S DANTE'S. 412 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:52,186 - "HI, DANTE. IT'S BETHANY. 413 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,955 "I'M READY TO BE YOUR M.V.P., 414 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,034 MOST VALUABLE--" 415 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,662 [gasps] 416 00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:00,196 - DANG, BABY. I MEAN, SOMEBODY MUST HAVE HACKED DANTE'S PHONE. 417 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,143 - WHO IS BETHANY, 418 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:06,110 AND WHY IS SHE READY TO BE YOUR M.V...P? 419 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,369 - HEY, BABY, DANTE'S... 420 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,977 - DID YOU GIVE HER DANTE'S PHONE ON PURPOSE? 421 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,710 - NEVER HURTS TO HAVE A PLAN "B." 422 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,154 - [laughs] 423 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,110 RIPPED 'EM OFF, DIDN'T YOU? 424 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,477 - HEY, MY NUMBER'S ON GOOGLE. 425 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,146 - GOOGLE? 426 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,045 MOST VALUABLE-- 427 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,222 - I'M GONNA MISS YOU AROUND HERE, SAMMY. 428 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,057 NOBODY ASSEMBLES DOUBLE-COLUMN TROPHIES 429 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,293 QUITE LIKE YOU. 430 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,127 - MONKEYS CAN DO THAT, DAD. 431 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,962 BESIDES, I'M MOVING UP. 432 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,628 I KNOW THE MAILROOM AT SPORTS ILLUSTRATED 433 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,325 ISN'T THE WHITE HOUSE, 434 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,137 BUT AT LEAST I'M IN THE GAME. 435 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,039 [doorbell chimes] 436 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,440 - OH, PRUDENCE. 437 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,214 I PROBABLY SHOULD, UH, 438 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,384 BOX UP THOSE IRREGULAR SPELLING BEE TROPHIES. 439 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,175 - HOW'S YOUR CHEST DOING? 440 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,387 - OH, UH, IT'S FINE. 441 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:56,159 THESE WERE MY LEAST FAVORITE RIBS ANYWAY. 442 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:59,159 - DANTE AND I ARE ALL DONE. 443 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,362 - THAT'S SO FUNNY. 444 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,133 DANTE AND I ARE ALL DONE, TOO. 445 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:07,073 - YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING OUT FOR ME. 446 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,440 THANKS. 447 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,138 - YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW WHAT, I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU 448 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,271 FOR THE WAKE-UP CALL. 449 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,375 I'VE BEEN MAKING SOME CHANGES IN MY LIFE, 450 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,608 AND I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEM OVER COFFEE 451 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:23,115 OR DRINKS OR ANYTHING BUT DANTE MIST. 452 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,250 - THAT'D BE NICE. 453 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,691 OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. 454 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,585 THAT'S THE BALL THAT STRUCK OUT DANTE EVANS. 455 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,127 - BUT I DIDN'T STRIKE HIM OUT. 456 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,503 - YEAH. 457 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,601 KINDA DID. 458 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,704 I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, SAM 459 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:54,448 - HERE WE GO WITH HOUSE NUMBER 14. 460 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,121 THE BIG ONE-FOUR. 461 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,679 UNO-QUATRO. 462 00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,187 - AT THIS RATE, WE'RE GONNA BE RENTERS FOREVER. 463 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,060 I THINK WE SHOULD STOP LOOKING AT HOUSES 464 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,389 AND START LOOKING AT NURSING HOMES. 465 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,823 - NO, FORGET NURSING HOMES. 466 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,087 WHEN WE TURN 60, WE'RE MOVING TO AFRICA 467 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,297 WHERE THEY WORSHIP THE ELDERLY. 468 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,328 HELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GO THERE NOW. 469 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,133 - HEY, WHY SNEAK OFF TO THE CONGO 470 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,335 WHEN THINGS ARE JUST DANDY HERE IN THE REPUBLIC OF CHAD? 471 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,738 [chuckles] 472 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,669 OH, THIS NEXT PROPERTY IS A PEACH. 473 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,810 NOTICE THE EXPOSED BEAMS IN THE CEILING. 474 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,305 THOSE WERE HAND-HEWN 475 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,147 BY A FAMILY OF RELOCATED AMISH CRAFTSMEN. 476 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,423 - OH, DO YOU SEE THIS BAY WINDOW OVERLOOKING THE GARDEN? 477 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,162 IT'S LIKE A GIANT MOVIE SCREEN OF NATURE. 478 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,558 - DO YOU SEE THE LAWN IN THE BACKYARD? 479 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,819 I CAN FINALLY GET MY LAWNMOWER! 480 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,157 - WHAT? 481 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,662 - AND PAY A NEIGHBOR BOY TO USE IT! 482 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,503 OHH! 483 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:46,500 - HA HA HA! THIS IS AMAZING! 484 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,243 I COULD COOK EGGS BENEDICT HERE. 485 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,638 - I COULD EAT EGGS BENEDICT HERE. 486 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,439 - ONE COULD COOK OR EAT EGGS ANYTHING 487 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,211 ON THIS STYLISH CHESTERFORD ISLAND. 488 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,741 AND WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN, 489 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,375 PAPA BEAR CAN UNLEASH HIS MANHOOD 490 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,251 ALL OVER THE PATIO GRILL. 491 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,481 1,500 SQUARE INCHES OF FLAME-BROILING NIRVANA. 492 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,517 - NO WAY! 493 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,892 - WAY, MY GOOD MAN. WAY, INDEED. 494 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,261 OH, BOTHER. 495 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,730 - WHAT? - I KNOW THAT LOOK. 496 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,289 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG. 497 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,827 YOU'RE UNHAPPY WITH THE NEIGHBORS. 498 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,232 HEY, YOU KNOW THAT KID WITH THE RAT TAIL 499 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,374 IS JUST THE GARDENER'S SON. 500 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,528 YOU SAY THE WORD, 501 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,666 AND YOURS TRULY CAN CALL INMIGRACION. 502 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,301 - WHAT? NO. 503 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,106 WHY WOULD YOU EVEN-- 504 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,141 I THINK I HAD SEX HERE, ALL RIGHT? 505 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,808 - OH. IS THAT ALL? 506 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,246 WELCOME TO THE CLUB. 507 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,152 RAINY DAY, OPEN HOUSE, NOBODY CAME, 508 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,745 EXCEPT YOURS CHADLY. 509 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,986 - I'M STARTING TO THINK IT WAS A MISTAKE 510 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:44,260 MEETING YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT OUTSIDE OF A GROCERY STORE. 511 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,331 - IT WAS A FARMERS MARKET. 512 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,929 - I SHOULD PROBABLY TELL JUDD. 513 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,730 - OR YOU COULD WAIT FOR A MORE APPROPRIATE TIME AND PLACE. 514 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:51,803 - LIKE WHEN? 515 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,271 - HIS FUNERAL. 516 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,940 IT'LL MAKE FOR ONE CRACKER OF A EULOGY. 517 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,838 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE A UNITED FRONT. 518 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,240 WHY UNDERCUT HIS ENTHUSIASM WITH UNNECESSARY FRANKNESS? 519 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,014 [knock at door] 520 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,881 - WE ARE SO BUYING THIS HOUSE! 521 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,140 [laughs] 522 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,278 - EULOGY, HUH? 523 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,487 - HE DOES HAVE A HEART ATTACK BODY. 524 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,655 - I MIGHT BE GOING OUT ON A LIMB HERE, 525 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,662 BUT I THINK THAT HOUSE IS PERFECT. 526 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:22,834 - YEP. 527 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,532 - I ALREADY CAME UP WITH A NAME FOR IT. 528 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,534 ROUSCHER MEADOWS. 529 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,925 HUH? IT WAS LIKE WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR, 530 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,567 THE WHOLE HOUSE GREETED ME WITH A HUG, 531 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:30,702 AND I THINK I'M READY TO HUG BACK. 532 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,537 WITH MONEY. A MONEY HUG. 533 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,242 LET'S DO IT. CAN WE DO IT? 534 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,284 I WANNA DO IT. 535 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,378 - I HAD SEX THERE. 536 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,380 - W-WHO DID? - I DID... 537 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,852 HAVE SEX... 538 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,550 IN THE HOUSE. 539 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,222 - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 540 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,592 WE'D NEVER BEEN IN THAT HOUSE BEFORE. 541 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,520 OH. 542 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,586 OH! 543 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,863 - LOOK, IT WAS, LIKE, A MILLION YEARS AGO, OKAY? 544 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,233 WE HOOKED UP AFTER A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT. 545 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,503 IT MEANT NOTHING. 546 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,300 - WHOA! YOU HAD SEX IN OUR DREAM HOUSE, 547 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,743 AND YOU WENT TO A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT? 548 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,769 - THEY OPENED FOR HOWARD JONES 549 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,874 AT THE L.A. COUNTY FAIR. 550 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,105 SHUT UP, OKAY? 551 00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:10,279 I HAD A PAST BEFORE YOU PLANTED YOUR FLAG IN ME, ALL RIGHT? 552 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,540 YOU'RE NOT BUZZ ALDRIN. 553 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,908 - BUZZ ALDRIN WAS THE SECOND GUY ON THE MOON. 554 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,416 - WELL, YOU'RE NOT HIM, EITHER. 555 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,388 JUDD, COME ON, WE LOVE THIS PLACE, ALL RIGHT? 556 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,948 AND WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ANOTHER ONE LIKE IT, 557 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,317 SO ONE CRAZY WEEKEND 558 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,985 SHOULDN'T PUT AN END TO ROUSCHER MEADOWS. 559 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,893 - WEEKEND? WOW! - OH, CRAP. 560 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,285 - WHAT KIND OF A WEEKEND WAS IT? 561 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,527 A LONG WEEKEND, LIKE A HOLIDAY WEEKEND? 562 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,732 SO NOW YOU'VE RUINED THE HOUSE 563 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,963 AND MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY. 564 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,268 - IT'S JUST MY LOCKER ROOM STORY, ALL RIGHT? 565 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,671 JUST LIKE THE ONE THAT YOU TELL 566 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,702 ABOUT HOW YOU APPARENTLY ALMOST HAD SEX 567 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,037 WITH JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM. 568 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,612 - WHOA! I DID ALMOST HAVE SEX 569 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,441 WITH JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM. 570 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,306 - OKAY, HONEY. 571 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,945 LOOK, THIS GUY HAS A PAGE. 572 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,481 NO, NO, NO, HE HAS A PARAGRAPH 573 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,717 IN THE BOOK OF MY LIFE, 574 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,561 BUT YOU... YOU HAVE CHAPTERS. 575 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,658 ALL RIGHT? 576 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,589 NOW LET'S GO GET THIS HOUSE, 577 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,755 AND LET'S WRITE A WHOLE BUNCH MORE. 578 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,433 - TSK. 579 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,462 HOWARD JONES? 580 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,966 - I LIKED HIS HAIR AND HIS BLAZERS. 581 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,297 SO, WE OKAY? 582 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,636 - YES! - YEAH. 583 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:11,640 - PFF! - PFF! 584 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,871 - [laughs] YES. 585 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,805 - OKAY. OKAY. 586 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,382 - DUDE, YOU GOTTA DIVORCE HER, MAN. 587 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,310 - YEAH, I AM NOT DOING THAT. 588 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,376 [cheering] 589 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,383 YEAH! 590 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,775 - OW! 591 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,546 - [laughs] - GO! 592 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:26,615 WELL, YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HOUSE. 593 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,023 - DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? 594 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,564 LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BEGRUDGE HER SEXUAL PAST, 595 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,090 BUT I DON'T WANT TO EAT NEAR IT. 596 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,094 DANTE, LET'S DO IT, BABY! 597 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,927 WHOO HOO HOO HOO! 598 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,904 I KIND OF HAD DINNER WITH THAT GUY THE OTHER NIGHT. 599 00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,602 - THE KITCHEN. - WHAT? 600 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,374 - I BET THAT'S WHERE IT STARTED. 601 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,103 COLLEEN TOTALLY SEEMS LIKE THE KIND OF CHICK 602 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,667 YOU JUST KIND OF BREAK HER IN RIGHT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. 603 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,777 GET HER RIGHT UP THERE... 604 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,778 - OKAY, BOUNDARIES. 605 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:50,909 - IS THERE A MUDROOM? - YES. 606 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,013 - OKAY, THEY PROBABLY JUST GOT RIGHT DOWN TO BUSINESS 607 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,745 BEFORE THEY EVEN TOOK THEIR SHOES OFF. 608 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,621 - I COULD ACTUALLY PROVIDE YOU WITH A FLOOR PLAN 609 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,649 SO YOU CAN MORE ACCURATELY IMAGINE HIM VIOLATING MY WIFE. 610 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,115 - THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL. - OKAY. 611 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,722 - BY THE WAY, NOT MY FAULT THE PLACE IS SEXUALLY HAUNTED. 612 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:03,955 ALL RIGHT? WHY DON'T YOU JUST BE A MAN ABOUT IT 613 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,060 AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN? 614 00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,761 - YOU ARE SO CLEARLY NOT MARRIED, IT'S ALMOST CUTE. 615 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,704 COLLEEN IS HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THIS HOUSE, DAN. 616 00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:12,500 SHE'S ACTUALLY SET UP ANOTHER PRIVATE VIEWING 617 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,102 FOR LATER ON TODAY. 618 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,803 THERE'S NOTHING ELSE THAT I CAN DO ABOUT IT. 619 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,365 - OH HO. OH, NO, THERE IS ONE THING. 620 00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,244 - WHAT? 621 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:19,910 - IF YOU WISH TO SLEEP UNDER THE ROOF 622 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,769 WHERE THE UNSPEAKABLE DEED TOOK PLACE, 623 00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:24,038 YOU MUST BANG THE DEMONS AWAY. 624 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,076 - OH, YOU MEAN, LIKE... 625 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,112 - A SEXORCISM. 626 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,079 - HUH? - THANK YOU. 627 00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:33,717 - RIGHT? - THANK YOU, POTHEAD, 628 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,523 FOR ANOTHER COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL SUGGESTION. 629 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:36,985 - WHAT? NO. NO, NO, NO, MAN. 630 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,033 YOU JUST--YOU REPLACE HER CRAZY MUDROOM SEX... 631 00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,129 - I GET IT. 632 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,960 - WITH YOUR OWN MUDROOM SEX, MAN. 633 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,395 THAT'S IT. BOOM, IT'S DONE. 634 00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:45,771 SEXUAL HAUNTING FINITO. - RIGHT. 635 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,528 - IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO ME. 636 00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:49,567 [applause] 637 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,642 - OR I COULD BE A SOBER ADULT. 638 00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,612 I COULD DO TO COLLEEN EXACTLY WHAT SHE DOES TO ME 639 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,542 EVERY TIME SHE WANTS TO PISS ON MY PARADE. 640 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,047 I COULD UNDERCUT AND NITPICK. 641 00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,478 I COULD FIND FAULT IN EVERY ROOM IN THAT HOUSE. 642 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:02,854 - I LIKE MY IDEA BETTER. 643 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,122 - BOOYAH! - THERE. 644 00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:07,991 - AS YOU REMEMBER, THE REAR GARDEN 645 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:10,020 IS LINED WITH BOTH DWARF KOREAN LILACS 646 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,856 AND HANGING BOUGAINVILLEAS 647 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,691 TO AFFORD THE UTMOST OF PRIVACY. 648 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,556 - YEAH, WELL, IF YOU ASK ME, 649 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:17,504 YOUR DRAINAGE IS 15% TO 18% OFF GRADE. 650 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:19,530 - I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR NUMBERS. 651 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,796 - WELL, I GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR NUMBERS. 652 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:25,070 UH... 653 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,514 OH! BINGO. 654 00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:28,039 RODENT DROPPING. 655 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:29,884 - UH, ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE 656 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,579 THAT'S THE HEAD OF A WOOD SCREW. 657 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:32,581 - UH... 658 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:33,412 - OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 659 00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:36,476 WOULD YOU EXCUSE US FOR A SECOND? 660 00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:38,116 - WHAT? 661 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,150 - OKAY, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY STILL UPSET. 662 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,016 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 663 00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,164 - THEN WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? 664 00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:45,119 - I JUST DON'T WANT US TO SINK OUR HARD-EARNED SAVINGS 665 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,657 INTO A MONEY PIT. 666 00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:48,503 - SO YOU'RE JUST BEING FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE 667 00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:49,798 AND NOTHING ELSE IS BOTHERING YOU? 668 00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,859 - WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME DO MY WORK? 669 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:57,036 [horror movie music] 670 00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:58,199 671 00:23:58,237 --> 00:24:00,607 [zipper sound] [Colleen giggling] 672 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,140 - IS THAT ALL FOR ME? 673 00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,184 [giggling] 674 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,054 [horror movie music] [Colleen giggling] 675 00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:17,186 I AM SO GLAD TOMORROW'S MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY. 676 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,693 [giggling] 677 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:24,195 678 00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,070 [giggling, dance music playing] 679 00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:27,198 OUCH! 680 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:29,203 THAT'S HOT. 681 00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:32,235 WAIT. WHO'S YOUR FRIEND? 682 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,571 - IT'S FRICKIN' EVERYWHERE! 683 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,577 - WHAT? WHAT IS? 684 00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:37,809 - THE GHOST OF YOUR SLUTTERY. 685 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,584 - WHOA! THAT IS NOT COOL. 686 00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:41,613 AND THAT IS NOT A WORD. 687 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:43,578 - OKAY, LET'S DIAL IT DOWN. 688 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:47,116 WE'VE ALL HAD SEX IN MANY, MANY PLACES, 689 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,293 BUT LET'S NOT ALLOW ONE TRAMP'S SORDID INDISCRETION 690 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,632 GET IN THE WAY OF ALL-TIME-LOW MORTGAGE RATES. 691 00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:53,929 - WOW, YOU TOLD HIM. 692 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,600 - IT JUST SLIPPED OUT, OKAY? 693 00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:56,628 I AM A GOOD PERSON! 694 00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:57,863 - [laughs] - OKAY! 695 00:24:57,897 --> 00:25:00,927 IT'S TIME TO PULL OUT THE BIG GUNS. 696 00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:03,237 THERE'S ONE ROOM I HAVEN'T SHOWN YOU. 697 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:08,978 - [gasps] 698 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,778 SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! 699 00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:13,650 - WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW US THIS ROOM BEFORE? 700 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,510 - I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK 701 00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,217 YOU WERE GONNA QUALIFY FOR THE LOAN, 702 00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:17,548 SO KUDOS. 703 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:20,324 - THIS COULD BE MY ROCK ROOM, COLLEEN. 704 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,692 I MEAN, THIS-- 705 00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,221 I COULD DO MY MIX SAMPLES IN HERE. 706 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,185 I COULD ROCK OUT ON THE DRUMS. 707 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,234 - I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE. 708 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,028 - MY PLAYS! COLLEEN, 709 00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:27,889 I COULD FINISH WRITING MY PLAYS. 710 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,197 [door closes] - OH, IT WOULD BE NICE 711 00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:32,059 TO PUT FRAIL WINTER ON ITS FEET. 712 00:25:32,098 --> 00:25:33,628 - LOOK, I'M SKEEVED OUT. 713 00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,196 THAT MUCH WE KNOW. 714 00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,274 BUT I REALLY LOVE THIS HOUSE, 715 00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:39,043 AND I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE THIS OUR HOME. 716 00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:41,571 - I KNOW. I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE COMING AROUND ON THIS, 717 00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,178 BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS NO BIG DEAL. 718 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,179 - GREAT. TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS. 719 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,710 - WHAT? 720 00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:47,305 - COME ON, WE GOTTA SEXORCISE THIS HOUSE, COLLEEN, 721 00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:48,276 AND WE'RE ON THE CLOCK. 722 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:49,884 - JUDD, YOU'RE SCARING ME. 723 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,646 - NO! WE GOTTA PURGE THE SEXUAL GHOSTS 724 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:53,354 WITH A NEW MEMORY, BANG THE DEMONS AWAY. 725 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,715 - BANG THE DEMONS AWAY? THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT? 726 00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:57,755 - YOU HAD CRAZY SEX WITH THIS GUY, RIGHT? 727 00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,060 NOW YOU GOTTA HAVE CRAZIER SEX WITH ME. 728 00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,161 LET'S WRITE A NEW CHAPTER IN THIS HOUSE-- 729 00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:03,363 A DIRTY ONE. 730 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,665 - OKAY, LET'S GO. 731 00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:07,268 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED. 732 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:08,899 Chad: ME, EITHER. 733 00:26:08,935 --> 00:26:10,295 - GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR, CHAD. 734 00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:12,666 - LEAVING! - I WANT SOME OF THAT 735 00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:17,205 - HOO HOO HOO! - THAT WAS GOOD, RIGHT? 736 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:19,053 - [laughs] I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOSTS. 737 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,608 - HEY, IF YOU TWO HAVE ANY ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, 738 00:26:21,648 --> 00:26:23,048 DARYL, THE OWNER, JUST DROPPED BY. 739 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,322 - OH. - OH. 740 00:26:24,350 --> 00:26:27,220 UM, ARE YOU OKAY? 741 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,623 - YEAH, I'M COOL. 742 00:26:28,655 --> 00:26:30,055 I JUST MARKED MY TERRITORY. 743 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,889 DO I LOOK OKAY? 744 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,264 - YEAH, YOU HAVE SEX HAIR. - SEX HAIR'S PERFECT. 745 00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:35,933 HEY! HEY, BUDDY, GREAT HOUSE. 746 00:26:35,962 --> 00:26:38,232 - YEAH. HAD SOME GOOD TIMES HERE. 747 00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:42,374 - OKAY, SO WE'RE THERE. 748 00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:44,741 HI, DARYL. [laughs] THIS IS AWKWARD, HUH? 749 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,771 - WELL, SURE. I MEAN, NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO SELL THEIR HOUSE. 750 00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:49,407 HEY, THEY CAN BLAME OBAMA, 751 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,711 BUT IT STARTED WITH BUSH, RIGHT? 752 00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,183 - [laughs] 753 00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:54,011 - REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU. 754 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,306 - NO, IT'S COLLEEN. 755 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:58,047 - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, COLLEEN. 756 00:26:58,084 --> 00:26:59,794 - WOW. 757 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,419 OKAY...WOW. 758 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,725 UM...CHAD? 759 00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:08,388 CAN YOU SHOW ME THAT DRAINAGE PIPE THING? 760 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:09,857 - I'VE ALREADY SHOWED YOU THAT-- 761 00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:11,026 - SHUT UP, CHAD. 762 00:27:13,399 --> 00:27:15,399 - DARYL? - HMM? 763 00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:19,244 - UM, LOOK, UH... 764 00:27:19,271 --> 00:27:20,341 HEH HEH. - WHAT? 765 00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:23,342 - I, UH... I GOT A FAVOR TO ASK. 766 00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:24,435 IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD, 767 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,776 UH, BUT, UH... 768 00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:30,123 LOOK, APPARENTLY, A FEW YEARS AGO, 769 00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:32,349 YOU HAD SEX WITH THE MISSUS. 770 00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:33,894 - WHAT? 771 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,450 - YEAH. - UH, NO. 772 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,957 - YEAH. - I DON'T THINK SO. 773 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,189 OR... 774 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:42,834 OH, LOOK, IF YOU GUYS ARE INTO SOME WEIRD SWINGERS THING-- 775 00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:43,902 - NO, NO, NO. 776 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,060 AND WE COULD DO A LOT BETTER, SO... 777 00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:49,337 UM, BUT YOUR PATIO IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. 778 00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:51,938 THE BARBE--UH... 779 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:53,941 LOOK, MAN, YOU HAD SEX WITH MY WIFE. 780 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:55,343 YOU DID. THINK ABOUT IT. 781 00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:56,844 LATE '90s. 782 00:27:56,876 --> 00:27:59,206 YOU, UH...YOU MET HER AT A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT. 783 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:00,745 YOU REMEMBER SIMPLE MINDS, HUH? 784 00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:04,050 DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME 785 00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:05,893 I'LL BE ALONE 786 00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:07,818 SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN' 787 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:09,164 MOLLY RINGWALD 788 00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,458 both: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY 789 00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,860 OOH OOH-OOH OOH 790 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,493 WHOA 791 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,297 - YEAH, I REMEMBER. 792 00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,329 - MY WIFE? 793 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,204 - NO, THE SONG. 794 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,502 - UH, REALLY? 795 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,474 OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH. 796 00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:28,143 UM, OKAY, LOOK, I LOVE MY WIFE. 797 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,884 I THINK SHE'S UNFORGETTABLE, 798 00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:32,749 AND BECAUSE I ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY, 799 00:28:32,779 --> 00:28:34,379 AND I'M GUESSING, UH, 800 00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:37,383 YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR FULL ASKING PRICE? 801 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:38,916 I GOT A LITTLE, UH... 802 00:28:38,951 --> 00:28:40,351 I GOT A LITTLE PROPOSITION FOR YOU. 803 00:28:42,421 --> 00:28:45,021 OH, THAT'S IT. JUST LAY IT ON THICK. 804 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,487 DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING BEFORE. 805 00:28:46,525 --> 00:28:47,525 IT WAS TOO AWKWARD. 806 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,299 SIMPLE MINDS. 807 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,958 YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY. 808 00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:53,227 OH, NO, DON'T GO FOR THE HUG. 809 00:28:53,265 --> 00:28:54,465 OH! HE WENT IN FOR THE HUG. 810 00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,340 - AND SCENE. 811 00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,468 - GET OUT, CHAD. - OKAY. 812 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:04,514 - WELL, SAY GOOD-BYE TO ROUSCHER MEADOWS. 813 00:29:04,543 --> 00:29:06,313 - WHY? 814 00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:07,505 - IT'S JUST TOO AWKWARD 815 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,816 WITH THE SEX AND HIM NOT REMEMBERING IT. 816 00:29:09,849 --> 00:29:11,979 I KNOW YOU PUT HIM UP TO IT, ALL RIGHT? 817 00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:14,318 HIS PERFORMANCE WAS STIFF AND REHEARSED. 818 00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:15,393 AND YOU KNOW, SOMETHING HE SAID 819 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,361 SOUNDED VAGUELY FAMILIAR. 820 00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:20,859 "THE MEMORY OF OUR TORRID AFFAIR 821 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,563 HAS TURNED MY WINTER HEART TO SUMMER." 822 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,904 THAT'S THE LINE FROM YOUR PLAY, JUDD. 823 00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:26,971 - IT'S ALSO A BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED THOUGHT, COLLEEN. 824 00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,369 - [laughs] 825 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,170 THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN EASY MAN TO LOVE. 826 00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:33,273 - YEAH, WELL, THANK YOU FOR LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH. 827 00:29:33,305 --> 00:29:34,435 - [laughing] 828 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:38,378 - I'LL MISS YOU ROUSCHER MEADOWS! 829 00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:40,450 - OH HO HO, NO, WE'LL BE BACK. 830 00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:42,819 MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, 831 00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:44,449 WE ARE EGGING THIS BASTARD'S HOUSE. 832 00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:45,553 - OH, HO HO. 833 00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,454 I LIKE IT. 834 00:29:49,221 --> 00:29:52,161 [upbeat piano] 835 00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:57,361 836 00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,366 - THESE HAVE BEEN THE HAPPIEST SIX DAYS, 837 00:29:59,398 --> 00:30:00,868 FIVE NIGHTS OF MY LIFE. 838 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,500 - SI, JULIA. IT'S VERY SAD. 839 00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,135 I MISS. 840 00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,471 - I MISS, TOO. 841 00:30:06,505 --> 00:30:08,605 HOW AM I GONNA GO BACK TO WICHITA AFTER THIS? 842 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,410 - IF YOU LIVE IN THIS WICHITA, 843 00:30:10,442 --> 00:30:11,412 IT MUST BE HEAVEN. 844 00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:13,853 - WE DO HAVE A TAQUITO HEAVEN. 845 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,310 THEIR SALSA VERDE GOT THREE SOMBREROS 846 00:30:15,347 --> 00:30:16,517 IN THE LOCAL PAPER. 847 00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:18,318 I WISH I COULD SHOW IT TO YOU. 848 00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:19,590 - SHH. 849 00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:23,258 NOT TO SPEAK. 850 00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:26,089 SAY "PRUNES," HMM? 851 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,155 ALL THE SUPERMODELS SAY "PRUNES." 852 00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,404 - PRUNES. 853 00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:35,965 - MY CAMERA WAS STOLEN RIGHT AFTER WE TOOK IT. 854 00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:37,872 THANK GOD I'D DOWNLOADED THE PHOTOS. 855 00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:40,374 DARN, JULIA, YOU GO TO RIO AND FALL IN LOVE. 856 00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:42,166 ALL I GET'S A MONTHLY HUG AND TUG 857 00:30:42,208 --> 00:30:44,008 FROM THE MEAT GUY AT THE SUPER SHOP. 858 00:30:44,043 --> 00:30:45,443 JUST SHOWS TO GO YA. 859 00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:46,907 - WILL YOU TWO HENS STOP CLUCKING? 860 00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:48,076 GO BACK TO THE PART 861 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:49,454 WHERE MARCELO CHANGED ON THE STREET 862 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:50,651 INTO HIS BATHING SUIT. 863 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,652 - NO, THAT WAS ME. 864 00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,923 - OH. WELL, HE MUST HAVE CHANGED AT SOME POINT. 865 00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:55,493 - I WISH I HAD YOUR BALLS, JULIA. 866 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,321 YOU JUST DO THINGS. 867 00:30:57,356 --> 00:31:00,456 - WELL, MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID, "DO THINGS, JULIA." 868 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,392 - SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT MAN. 869 00:31:02,428 --> 00:31:05,258 SO, DO YOU THINK YOU'LL SEE MARCELO AGAIN? 870 00:31:05,297 --> 00:31:07,327 - WELL, I'VE GOT ANOTHER VACATION IN 11 MONTHS, 871 00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,336 AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'M GONNA BE READY. 872 00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,068 - I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL. 873 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,473 - WELL, I MIGHT AS WELL. 874 00:31:12,504 --> 00:31:14,644 I'LL JUST WASTE IT ON SCRATCH TICKETS AND INSULIN. 875 00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,513 - GOT SOME SAD NEWS, PEOPLE. 876 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,653 NANCY GOT INTO A BOATING ACCIDENT. 877 00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:22,408 - WAIT, BLONDE NANCY OR BLACK NANCY? 878 00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:24,348 - BLACK NANCY. - OHH! 879 00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:26,053 - NOT SURE SHE'LL BE COMING BACK. 880 00:31:26,085 --> 00:31:29,455 NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE'LL BE PASSING AROUND A CARD LATER. 881 00:31:29,488 --> 00:31:34,958 DENNIS, LET'S TRY AND KEEP OUR REMARKS PG. 882 00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:37,604 - JEEZ. YOU DRAW ONE WINKING PENIS 883 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:40,129 ON A BIRTHDAY CAKE. 884 00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:41,396 - I WONDER WHO'LL GET HER CORNER CUBICLE. 885 00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:42,633 - KAREN, IT'S TOO SOON. 886 00:31:42,668 --> 00:31:44,598 BESIDES, YOU DON'T JUST GET THE CORNER CUBE. 887 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,206 YOU HAVE TO EARN IT. 888 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:49,008 NANCY LED THE "PAPERLESS CHARGE" BACK IN '06. 889 00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,611 SHE WORKED 12 YEARS WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE SICK DAY. 890 00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:54,453 - UNTIL THE BOATING ACCIDENT. 891 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,220 MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO UNVEIL 892 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,978 THAT BIG IDEA OF YOURS, JULIA. 893 00:31:58,017 --> 00:31:59,047 - WHAT IDEA? 894 00:31:59,085 --> 00:32:00,445 NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT ANY IDEA. 895 00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:02,086 AM I BEING FIRED? 896 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,491 - NO, IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 897 00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,562 IT'S JUST SOMETHING TO COUNTERACT THE BAD PRESS WE GOT 898 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,261 AFTER THE HUFFING INCIDENT AT WITZEL JUNIOR HIGH. 899 00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:10,464 MAYBE IF IT COMES UP, I'LL MENTION IT. 900 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:12,596 - HEY, FORWARD ME SOME OF THOSE PHOTOS. 901 00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:14,571 THE WIFE AND I ARE DUE FOR A VACATION, 902 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,270 AND I'D LOVE TO SPEND SOME TIME IN MARCELO. 903 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,513 I MEAN, RIO... WHERE I WOULD BRING VIVIAN 904 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:23,978 FOR PURPOSES OF SEX IN HER VAGINA. 905 00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:26,610 [Mozella's Gonna Getcha] 906 00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:30,215 YOU COME WITH THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES 907 00:32:30,249 --> 00:32:33,219 UH, UH, I'M GONNA GETCHA 908 00:32:33,252 --> 00:32:35,422 UH, MMM, OH 909 00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,394 I'M GONNA GETCHA 910 00:32:37,423 --> 00:32:41,093 MM MM MM MM MM 911 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,127 - JULIA! 912 00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,201 - OH, MARCELO. 913 00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:46,200 - JULIA! 914 00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:47,372 - MARCELO? 915 00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:49,439 - JULIA! 916 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:54,040 JULIA! 917 00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:56,213 ESPLENDIDO WICHITA! 918 00:32:56,242 --> 00:32:59,352 [Brazilian Carnival music] 919 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,420 - MARCELO, HOW DID YOU-- WHAT DO YOU-- 920 00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:05,519 - SHH. NOT TO SPEAK. 921 00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:07,521 I MUST BE WITH YOU NOW. 922 00:33:07,553 --> 00:33:09,523 - I'LL BUZZ YOU IN. - HUH? 923 00:33:09,555 --> 00:33:11,715 - BUZZ? YOU KNOW, BUZZ? 924 00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:13,127 - WHO'S BUZZ? 925 00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:15,029 A BOYFRIEND? I WILL KILL HIM! 926 00:33:15,061 --> 00:33:16,731 - NEVER MIND. I'LL COME AND GET YOU. 927 00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:19,572 [Chica Chica Boom Chic] 928 00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:22,168 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS. 929 00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:23,371 - WHY NOT? 930 00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:24,542 I HAD MILE POINTS. 931 00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,070 AND I HAD TO SEE YOU. 932 00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:32,535 933 00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:34,748 - WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? 934 00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:37,080 - YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING. 935 00:33:37,116 --> 00:33:39,786 I CARE FOR YOU, JULIA. 936 00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:42,088 I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 937 00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:43,561 - I CARE ABOUT YOU, TOO. 938 00:33:43,589 --> 00:33:49,429 939 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:50,601 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 940 00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,559 - TO MAKE YOU DINNER. 941 00:33:52,598 --> 00:33:54,628 - OH. 942 00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:56,266 BUT IT'S MIDNIGHT. 943 00:33:56,302 --> 00:33:58,442 - SHH. 944 00:33:58,470 --> 00:34:00,410 - NOT TO SPEAK, RIGHT? 945 00:34:00,439 --> 00:34:08,449 946 00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,352 OH, NO. YOUR SHIRT. 947 00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:17,091 I SEE NO SHIRT. 948 00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:25,133 949 00:34:30,436 --> 00:34:32,536 [timer dings] 950 00:34:33,539 --> 00:34:35,309 DINNER IS SERVED. 951 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,418 - YOU SMELL LIKE SEX AND BOOZE. 952 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:45,780 - THAT'S BECAUSE WE HAD WINE WITH DINNER 953 00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,347 AN HOUR AGO. 954 00:34:47,386 --> 00:34:48,786 I BARELY GOT ANY SLEEP. 955 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,420 YOU WANT TO HEAR HOW HE WOKE ME UP? 956 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:51,686 - YEAH. [cell phone rings] 957 00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:54,463 - OH, VIVIAN, THIS IS A BAD TIME. 958 00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,163 NAG. 959 00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:58,225 LIKE SHE'S THE FIRST PERSON TO HAVE A BIOPSY. 960 00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:00,504 ANYWAY, BACK TO MARCELO BEING NAKED. 961 00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:04,272 - JULIA, KAREN TELLS ME YOU HAD A GEM OF A MARKETING IDEA. 962 00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:05,803 - OH, YES, SURE. 963 00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:08,467 WELL, IT'S TO COUNTER THE BAD PRESS WE GOT 964 00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:09,707 FROM THE WITZEL HUFFING INCIDENT, 965 00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,741 TO MAKE THE STUDENTS NOT WANT TO HUFF THEM. 966 00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:13,407 "UNHUFFABLES," IF YOU WILL. 967 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,775 - "UNHUFFABLES." 968 00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:17,553 WELL, IT'S FUN TO SAY. 969 00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:18,683 I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT IT. 970 00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:19,917 WE'LL SEE IF THERE'S EXTRA TIME 971 00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:21,491 IN THIS AFTERNOON'S MEETING. 972 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,390 [cheerful Latin guitar music] 973 00:35:23,422 --> 00:35:25,492 - YOU'VE GOT A GREAT SEX LIFE, 974 00:35:25,524 --> 00:35:27,464 A GOOD IDEA, AND THE BOSS'S EAR. 975 00:35:27,493 --> 00:35:29,533 OH, I SMELL THE CORNER CUBICLE. 976 00:35:29,561 --> 00:35:31,431 AND A LITTLE WINE STILL. 977 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,433 I'LL GET YOU MY TOOTHBRUSH. 978 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,565 SOMETIMES I SLEEP HERE. 979 00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:37,301 THERE'S NO REASON TO GO HOME. 980 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,509 [strumming] 981 00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,911 HEY HEY HEY HEY 982 00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:46,453 983 00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:51,578 OOH OOH OOH OH OH OH 984 00:35:52,518 --> 00:35:53,888 - MARCELO, WHAT ARE YOU... 985 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,349 - MOMENTO. 986 00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:58,557 [playing guitar] 987 00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:01,960 [singing Don't You (Forget About Me) in Portuguese] 988 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:10,903 989 00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:14,236 NOW NOW NOW NOW 990 00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:17,481 - I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. 991 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,939 - I WANT TO KILL VIVIAN. 992 00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:21,207 - MARCELO, HOW DID YOU GET PAST SECURITY? 993 00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:22,907 THEY'VE BEEN REALLY STRICT SINCE THE SHOOTING. 994 00:36:22,948 --> 00:36:25,478 - WELL, YOU CANNOT DENY A MAN ENTRANCE 995 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,787 WITH SUCH LOVE IN HIS HEART. 996 00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:29,389 COME WITH ME. 997 00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:31,261 I WANT TO DIE INSIDE YOU PRESENTLY. 998 00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,530 - OH, MY. 999 00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:34,859 WELL, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL, BUT I CAN'T-- 1000 00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:35,863 I CAN'T REALLY LEAVE. 1001 00:36:35,894 --> 00:36:37,834 - WELL, I THINK YOU CAN. 1002 00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,873 - NO, YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS MEETING, 1003 00:36:39,898 --> 00:36:41,998 AND I TOLD MY BOSS-- 1004 00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,403 DO YOU KNOW THE WORD "CUBICLE"? 1005 00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:47,665 - WHATEVER IT IS, I WILL EAT IT OFF YOU. 1006 00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,606 - OH, FOR GOD SAKES, JULIA. 1007 00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:51,641 - [whispering] GO WITH HIM, YOU DUMB BITCH. 1008 00:36:51,677 --> 00:36:54,347 - AW, SCREW THE MEETING. 1009 00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:57,350 [Flamenco music] 1010 00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:58,553 1011 00:36:58,584 --> 00:37:00,894 [moaning] 1012 00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:04,621 OH. OH, GOD. 1013 00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:07,356 I FEEL A LITTLE BAD ABOUT MISSING THE MEETING. 1014 00:37:07,393 --> 00:37:08,463 - SHH. 1015 00:37:08,494 --> 00:37:10,534 - OKAY, SORRY. 1016 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,462 - MARCELO BE BACK SOON. 1017 00:37:12,498 --> 00:37:13,528 - OKAY. 1018 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,625 [breathing heavily] 1019 00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:18,567 OKAY, TAKE YOUR TIME. 1020 00:37:18,604 --> 00:37:21,414 [cell phone chimes] - YOUR THIGHS ARE MY CHURCH. 1021 00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,448 - ESPLENDIDO WICHITA. 1022 00:37:29,481 --> 00:37:30,581 - SI, SI. 1023 00:37:30,616 --> 00:37:32,546 BRAVO, MARCELO. 1024 00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,464 [chimes] 1025 00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,325 OH! 1026 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,460 - YEE-HEE! 1027 00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:43,504 - YOU LIKE? 1028 00:37:43,529 --> 00:37:45,729 - OOH, VERY, VERY MUCH. 1029 00:37:49,735 --> 00:37:50,865 - YOU WERE WORKING? 1030 00:37:50,902 --> 00:37:52,442 - NO. 1031 00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:53,441 MAYBE A LITTLE. 1032 00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:55,812 - BECAUSE I WAS WORKING VERY HARD. 1033 00:37:55,841 --> 00:37:56,911 - OOH. 1034 00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:59,352 - THIS IS DISCOURAGING. 1035 00:37:59,378 --> 00:38:02,708 - I'M SORRY. I'M JUST A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT WORK. 1036 00:38:02,748 --> 00:38:04,418 - IN BRAZIL, IT'S SIMPLE. 1037 00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:05,620 WHEN YOU WORK, YOU WORK. 1038 00:38:05,651 --> 00:38:07,421 WHEN YOU SEX, YOU SEX. 1039 00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:08,293 - OH, MMM. 1040 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,920 YES, BUT A CUBICLE BECAME AVAILABLE, 1041 00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:13,386 AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED. 1042 00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:14,385 - CUBICLE? 1043 00:38:14,426 --> 00:38:15,756 THAT'S WHAT YOU WORRY ABOUT? 1044 00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,504 THE JULIA I MET IN RIO HAD NO STRESS. 1045 00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,970 SHE WAS HAPPY. 1046 00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:21,668 - YES, HAPPIER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN. 1047 00:38:21,700 --> 00:38:23,540 BUT THAT WASN'T REAL JULIA. 1048 00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:25,469 THAT WAS VACATION JULIA. 1049 00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:26,474 - ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 1050 00:38:26,505 --> 00:38:28,605 - YES, WITH YOU, 1051 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,540 BUT I NEED TO WORK, AND IT'S HARD. 1052 00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:32,476 I DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS IN BRAZIL, 1053 00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:36,451 BUT THE DRY-ERASE MARKET HERE IS VERY COMPETITIVE. 1054 00:38:36,482 --> 00:38:38,352 OOH. 1055 00:38:38,384 --> 00:38:39,554 - KNOW WHAT I THINK? - WHAT? 1056 00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:41,115 - I THINK VACATION JULIA 1057 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,462 IS THE REAL JULIA. 1058 00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,060 OOH! 1059 00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:48,431 - OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE MOVING TO BRAZIL! 1060 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,600 - YES, HE ASKED ME TO GO TO BRAZIL, 1061 00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:51,499 BUT I CAN'T, CAN I? 1062 00:38:51,530 --> 00:38:53,530 - YES. YES, YOU CAN. 1063 00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:55,095 DO IT! 1064 00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:56,573 WHAT THE HELL IS KEEPING YOU HERE? 1065 00:38:56,602 --> 00:38:58,102 - WELL, I FINALLY FEEL LIKE 1066 00:38:58,136 --> 00:39:00,406 I FINALLY HAVE A SHOT AT THE CORNER CUBICLE. 1067 00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:02,569 - WOMAN, I SWEAR TO CHRISTMAS, 1068 00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:04,038 IF YOU DO NOT GET ON THAT PLANE, 1069 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,075 I WILL GO CHIMP ATTACK ON YOUR FACE 1070 00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:07,511 AND MAKE THAT CUBICLE YOUR TOMB! 1071 00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:10,476 - DENNIS, GO GET A DRINK OF WATER. 1072 00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:11,576 - RIGHT. 1073 00:39:11,617 --> 00:39:14,587 - JULIA, LOOK AT MY FACE. 1074 00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:16,120 DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? 1075 00:39:16,154 --> 00:39:18,624 BECAUSE THIS IS WHO YOU'RE GONNA BE SEEING IN THE MIRROR 1076 00:39:18,657 --> 00:39:19,627 TEN YEARS FROM NOW. 1077 00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:21,388 - KAREN, LET'S BE FAIR. 1078 00:39:21,427 --> 00:39:22,527 MY DIET IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM YOURS. 1079 00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:26,161 I MEAN, YOU SHOTGUN GRAPE SODA AND LIVE ON SLIM JIMS. 1080 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,497 - IT IS CALLED COPING, JULIA. 1081 00:39:29,535 --> 00:39:31,565 YOU KNOW WHEN THAT SHOOTER WALKED PAST MY DESK? 1082 00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:33,513 I TOUCHED HIS SHOE 1083 00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:35,809 JUST TO MAKE HUMAN CONTACT. 1084 00:39:35,841 --> 00:39:37,711 I WANT MORE FOR YOU. 1085 00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:39,513 YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 1086 00:39:39,545 --> 00:39:40,845 - THAT'S WHAT MARCELO SAID, 1087 00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:42,549 THE LAST PART, I MEAN. 1088 00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:43,681 - HE'S RIGHT. 1089 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,515 YOU HAVE TO THINK LONG AND HARD 1090 00:39:45,551 --> 00:39:47,151 ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, 1091 00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:49,915 AND THEN YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT. 1092 00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:58,727 - HEY. I'M SO GLAD YOU PACK SO LITTLE. 1093 00:39:58,764 --> 00:40:02,634 MOST OF THE TIME, YOU'LL BE WEARING NOTHING BUT SAND. 1094 00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:05,098 - OH, I'M SO GONNA MISS THAT. 1095 00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:06,806 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1096 00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,538 - I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU. 1097 00:40:08,574 --> 00:40:10,144 THIS IS YOUR SHIRT. 1098 00:40:10,175 --> 00:40:11,435 MY CO-WORKER DENNIS 1099 00:40:11,477 --> 00:40:13,077 IS GONNA KILL ME FOR GIVING IT TO YOU. 1100 00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,681 - BUT I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 1101 00:40:15,714 --> 00:40:17,224 - AND YOU DID. 1102 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,878 YOU GAVE ME A HAPPY VACATION, 1103 00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:20,717 BUT I NEED TO GIVE ME A HAPPY LIFE. 1104 00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:21,952 - BUT ONLY YESTERDAY, WE-- 1105 00:40:21,987 --> 00:40:23,117 - NO, SHH, NOT TO SPEAK. 1106 00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,524 MARCELO, MY DARLING, 1107 00:40:25,557 --> 00:40:28,127 YOU'RE BRAZILIAN AND AMAZING, 1108 00:40:28,159 --> 00:40:31,529 AND WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING ME IS RIDICULOUSLY TEMPTING. 1109 00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:33,833 BUT I'M AN AMERICAN. 1110 00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,625 I LIKE TO WORK. 1111 00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:37,967 I LIKE TO WORK MYSELF TO THE BONE. 1112 00:40:38,003 --> 00:40:39,473 AND YOU KNOW WHY? 1113 00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:40,805 BECAUSE THERE'S AN OFF-CHANCE 1114 00:40:40,839 --> 00:40:42,139 SOMEONE ABOVE ME MIGHT NOTICE 1115 00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:43,643 AND GIVE ME A RAISE. 1116 00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,835 AND THEN I CAN BE A HOMEOWNER. 1117 00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:49,517 I WANT TO TAKE OUT A MORTGAGE ON A HOUSE I CAN'T AFFORD. 1118 00:40:49,548 --> 00:40:50,778 - WELL, THIS PLACE LOOKS NICE. 1119 00:40:50,816 --> 00:40:52,716 - KEEP DRIVING. - REALLY? 1120 00:40:52,751 --> 00:40:54,251 - OH, YEAH, ALL OVER THE BREAKFAST NOOK. 1121 00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,245 UP TOP. 1122 00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:56,316 - WOW. - I'M NOT KIDDING. 1123 00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:59,064 SERIOUSLY, IT WAS MY STUDY BUDDY FROM HIGH SCHOOL. 1124 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:00,560 - YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 1125 00:41:00,592 --> 00:41:02,192 - I WANT TO SPEND THE LITTLE LEISURE TIME I HAVE 1126 00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:04,527 PLOPPED IN FRONT OF A GIANT FLAT-SCREEN TV. 1127 00:41:04,563 --> 00:41:08,073 - JUST MOVE THE JOYSTICK AND HIT THE "X" BUTTON. 1128 00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:10,069 crowd: OOH! 1129 00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:11,241 - LIKE THAT? 1130 00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:13,539 - [laughing] YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT. 1131 00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,781 - BUT THANK YOU, MARCELO. 1132 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:21,279 THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORK, 1133 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,252 THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR A LITTLE VACATION JULIA. 1134 00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:25,552 YOU'LL ALSO NOTICE... 1135 00:41:25,584 --> 00:41:28,194 AND AS MUCH AS I WANT TO MAKE LOVE 1136 00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:30,019 ON THE SANDY BEACHES OF RIO, 1137 00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:33,625 MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD... 1138 00:41:33,659 --> 00:41:36,899 I WANT THAT CORNER CUBE. 1139 00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:39,728 - YOU KNOW WHAT, DENNIS? 1140 00:41:39,765 --> 00:41:40,595 I WISH A GUY LIKED ME ENOUGH 1141 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,932 SO I COULD BREAK HIS HEART LIKE THAT. 1142 00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:43,938 - ME, TOO. 1143 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,639 I MEAN, WITH A CHICK. 1144 00:41:45,671 --> 00:41:46,911 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 1145 00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:48,838 - LA LA LA LA LA LA 1146 00:41:48,874 --> 00:41:51,684 WHEN YOU WALK ON BY 1147 00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,950 LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA 1148 00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:57,980 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 78102

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.