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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:04,469 - NOW, THE REASON WE'RE HERE 2 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,705 IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,711 TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER 4 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:14,724 WHEN LOVE WALKS IN THE ROOM 5 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:18,388 EVERYBODY STAND UP 6 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:21,089 OH, IT'S GOOD, GOOD, GOOD 7 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,062 TO SAY I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 8 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,691 I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 9 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,474 - WE ARE YOUNG, WE RUN FREE 10 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,242 - "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'." 11 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,811 JUST--IT SEEMS A LITTLE ON THE NOSE, 12 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,639 SINCE YOU'RE, YOU KNOW, A TRUCKER. 13 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,075 - THAT'S HOW I LIVE MY LIFE, SON. 14 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,752 - WELL, HEY, IF YOU WANT A COOL PHILOSOPHY, 15 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,549 WHAT ABOUT JOSEPH CAMPBELL? 16 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,181 THAT DUDE SAID SOME PRETTY HEAVY STUFF, 17 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:53,687 LIKE, UH, "WE MUST LET GO OF THE LIFE WE HAVE PLANNED 18 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,721 SO AS TO ACCEPT THE LIFE THAT IS WAITING FOR US." 19 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,587 THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. - IT'S NOT BAD. 20 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:03,157 KIND OF LONG. DOESN'T HAVE THE WORD "TRUCK" IN IT. 21 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,267 - ALL I'M SAYING IS, WHAT IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE CAREERS? 22 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,700 - DAN, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 23 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:08,495 - YEAH, ONE MINUTE. 24 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,336 LIKE, WHAT IF YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY 25 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:13,111 AND YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO BE, LIKE, 26 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,481 A MAGICIAN, RIGHT? 27 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,779 'CAUSE THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE IT 28 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:20,580 TO SOMETHING LIKE, UH, "KEEP ON TRICKIN'." 29 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,624 WAIT. THAT'S BETTER FOR A MALE PROSTITUTE. 30 00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,150 HEY, WHAT ABOUT A MALE PROSTITUTE? 31 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,685 - OKAY, I GOT TO TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND. 32 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,319 - WHAT IS WITH THE MANHANDLING? I'M WORKING. 33 00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:29,416 - SEE THAT SIGN? 34 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,687 THAT SIGN SAYS "JUDD'S TATTOO PARLOUR," 35 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:31,634 NOT "DAN'S OPINIONS." 36 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,689 - ACTUALLY, IT JUST SAYS "TATTOO PARLOUR." 37 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,157 WHAT'S WITH THE "U" ANYWAY? 38 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,296 - UH, THAT GIVES US CLASS. 39 00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:37,630 SEPARATES US FROM THE TATTOO PARLOR 40 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:38,765 DOWN THE STREET THAT SELLS CRACK. 41 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,669 - THAT "U" PAYS FOR ITSELF, MAN. 42 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,941 - MY POINT IS UNLESS A CUSTOMER WANTS A SWASTIKA 43 00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:45,369 OR A REPUBLICAN CAMPAIGN SLOGAN, YOU GOT TO GIVE THEM EXACTLY-- 44 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,176 AND YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO A WORD I'M SAYING. 45 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,508 WHAT? - HERE COMES ALEX. 46 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,552 QUESTION--WHO IS THE HOTTEST GIRL IN VENICE? 47 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:52,609 - ANSWER--MY WIFE, 48 00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:54,546 BECAUSE I LOVE HER, AND SHE HAS EARS EVERYWHERE. 49 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:55,652 HI, REGAN! 50 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,553 - ALEX KEEPS IT REAL, MAN. 51 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,615 I BET SHE BRUSHES HER TEETH WITH A STICK. 52 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:03,493 I BET SHE MAKES HER OWN FLIP-FLOPS OUT OF DREAMS. 53 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:04,864 - HOW HIGH ARE YOU? - NOT AT ALL. 54 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,732 - AMAZING. - THAT'S THE GIRL FOR ME, MAN. 55 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,760 YOU JUST KNOW SHE HAS NO HANG-UPS. 56 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,625 THAT'S A GIRL WITH ZERO BAGGAGE. 57 00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:11,333 - HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? - LOOK AT HER. 58 00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,625 SHE'S ABOVE IT ALL, MAN. 59 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,166 IT'S LIKE SHE KNOWS STUFF WE DON'T KNOW, 60 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,202 LIKE DOES GOD EXIST, OR IS WRESTLING REAL? 61 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,637 I WANT TO MARRY HER. HOW DO I LOOK? 62 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,442 - WELL, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE PONYTAIL. 63 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,184 I KNOW. IT HAS HALF YOUR PERSONALITY. 64 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,610 - ALL MY PERSONALITY. 65 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,714 - WELL, AT LEAST IT'S BACK TO IT'S ORIGINAL COLOR. 66 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:26,546 I GOT TO TELL YOU, THAT PINK WAS-- 67 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,950 AND NOW YOU'RE JUST SCOOTING AWAY 68 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,822 IN THE MIDDLE OF ME TALKING TO YOU? 69 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,221 I'M TALKING-- 70 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,733 - HEY, ALEX. - HI, DAN. 71 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,528 - HEY, LET ME CARRY THIS FOR YOU. 72 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,660 - THANKS. - CHIVALRY LIVES. 73 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,895 HEY, LISTEN, IF YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING, 74 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,270 WHY DON'T YOU POP IN THE SHOP? I'LL GIVE YOU A FREE TATTOO. 75 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,729 - YEAH? WHAT WOULD I GET? 76 00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,367 - UH, HOW ABOUT A MOP, SINCE YOU COULD MOP THE FLOOR 77 00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:51,914 WITH EVERY WOMAN ON THIS STREET? 78 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,769 - WOW. - UH, YEAH, SORRY. 79 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,777 THAT WAS REALLY LAME. I MEANT FOR THAT TO BE LAME. 80 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,349 - I REALLY HOPE SO. 81 00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,778 YOU KNOW, I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN THINKING 82 00:02:58,812 --> 00:02:59,752 ABOUT GETTING ANOTHER ONE. 83 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,520 I JUST CAN'T DECIDE WHAT. 84 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,879 - YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. 85 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,516 WITHIN TEN SECONDS OF MEETING SOMEBODY, 86 00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:05,852 I CAN TELL EXACTLY WHAT KIND OF TAT THEY NEED. 87 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:06,886 - YEAH? - YEAH. 88 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,820 - GO FOR IT. 89 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,858 - I GOT NOTHING. YOU'RE PERFECT. 90 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,267 ACTUALLY, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T COME IN THE SHOP. 91 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,870 WE'D JUST BE BANTERING LIKE THIS ALL DAY. 92 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,871 - HERE... YOU NEED TO HYDRATE. 93 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,874 YOU'RE WORKING WAY TOO HARD. - OH. 94 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,777 OOH, CHAMPAGNE. ARE YOU CELEBRATING? 95 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,909 - YEAH, I'M HAVING A PARTY AT THE GALLERY TONIGHT. 96 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,814 - PARTY? I LOVE TO PARTY. - I REMEMBER. 97 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,717 I SAW YOU LAST YEAR AT THAT ART OPENING. 98 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:38,319 YOU WERE WEARING A CAPE AND ROLLER SKATES. 99 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,822 - OH, REMEMBERING EVERY DETAIL-- 100 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,664 SOMEONE'S GOT A SECRET CRUSH. 101 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,530 SO YOU SEEM LIKE THE KIND FO GIRL WHO'D THROW A PARTY 102 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,588 AROUND 9:00--9:00-ISH. 103 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,726 - OH, MAN, MY DAISIES. 104 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,831 I KNOW IT'S THE PIT BULL FROM THAT ANTIQUE STORE. 105 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,004 HE'S ONLY GOT THREE LEGS. 106 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,672 SO IF YOU SAY ANYTHING, YOU'RE AN A-HOLE. 107 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:57,772 ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GET RID OF THAT. 108 00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:01,875 THANKS AGAIN, DAN. - YEAH. 109 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,324 - YOU'RE SWEET. 110 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,779 BYE. - BYE. 111 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,718 - NOTHING AT ALL 112 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,063 WHOO-HOO, WHOO-HOO, HOO OOH OOH 113 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,759 NOTHING AT ALL 114 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,432 - SO SHE DEFINITELY INVITED YOU? 115 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,931 I JUST DON'T WANT A REPEAT OF THAT ART OPENING. 116 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,532 - DUDE, SHE TOTALLY INVITED US. WILL YOU RELAX? 117 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,495 IT'S NOT HEALTHY. YOU GET ALL RED-FACED AND PUFFY. 118 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:28,865 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GET YOU? 119 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,572 - WHAT? - A GENTLEMAN'S FACIAL. 120 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,835 GUYS CAN DO THAT NOW. IT'S NOT JUST FOR GAYS ANYMORE. 121 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,484 - OKAY, SEE, THIS WORRIES ME. 122 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,949 PLEASE JUST TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID TO YOU. 123 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,648 - LET'S JUST SAY SHE PUT OUT THE VIBE. 124 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,051 - OH, THE VIBE. - YEAH. 125 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,722 - THE VIBE THAT YOU WERE INVITED 126 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,391 EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T INVITE YOU? 127 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,419 - I DEFINITELY PICKED THAT UP. 128 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:52,586 - DID YOU TELL HER? 129 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:56,626 DID YOU TELL HER? 130 00:04:56,664 --> 00:05:00,574 DID YOU TELL HER? - DID YOU TELL HER ABOUT US? 131 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,771 - DID YOU TELL HER? 132 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,872 - WOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN IN HERE. 133 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:04,944 WHY DID I WEAR THIS SHIRT? 134 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,612 I LOOK LIKE A CALIFORNIA GRAPE. 135 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,580 - CHECK IT OUT. 136 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,978 WE STUMBLED INTO A HOT LESBIAN BEER BASH. 137 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,981 - WHY, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, THAT ALEX IS A LESBIAN? 138 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,624 - WOMEN ARE FLEXIBLE, JUDD. 139 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,389 THEIR--THEIR SEXUALITY IS MORE FLUID THAN OURS, YOU KNOW? 140 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,590 IT'S, LIKE, "WHAT DO I WANT? 141 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,061 "DO I WANT SOMETHING ROUGH AND HAIRY TONIGHT, 142 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,659 OR DO I WANT SOMETHING SOFT?" 143 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,691 IT'S LIKE A SPRINKLE OF BOB AND A DASH OF MARIE. 144 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,857 THESE LADIES DON'T CARE. THEY'RE JUST HUNGRY. 145 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,726 OH, THERE SHE IS RIGHT THERE. 146 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,134 - TAKE A PICTURE, LADIES. 147 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,796 [cheers and applause] 148 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,865 - DID YOU TELL? DID YOU TELL HER? 149 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:40,474 DID YOU? DID YOU? DID YOU TELL HER? 150 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:41,808 - OH-HO. 151 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,382 - THIS IS THE KIND OF PARTY GOD WOULD THROW. 152 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:45,682 I GUESS HE DOES EXIST. 153 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,553 - WHAT IS--THIS IS, LIKE, A GIRLS GONE WILD VIDEO. 154 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,652 LIKE, ANY SECOND, THEY'RE GONNA POUR BEER 155 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,153 ON THEIR CHESTS AND FLICK ON THE AIR CONDITIONERS. 156 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,845 - YOU'VE JUST NEVER BEEN AROUND A LADY 157 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,117 WHO'S FULLY REALIZED. 158 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,755 - WHOA. MY WIFE IS FULLY REALIZED. 159 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:58,891 I MEAN, SOMETIMES SHE'LL GO TO THE STORE, 160 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,956 AND SHE FORGETS TO WEAR A BRA. 161 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,464 I MEAN, IT MIGHT JUST BE LAZINESS, 162 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:07,467 BUT IT GETS MY MOTOR RUNNING. - I'M GONNA GO SAY HI. 163 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,941 UH, WAIT, SHOULD I WAIT TILL SHE PUTS THE TOP BACK ON? 164 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,841 ALL RIGHT, I'LL GET A DRINK, AND THEN I'LL DECIDE. 165 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,913 - OKAY. 166 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:16,813 - DID YOU TELL HER? 167 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,784 - DID YOU TELL HER WHAT WE DID? 168 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:20,953 - DID YOU TELL HER? 169 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,921 - DID YOU TELL HER I WAS COOL? 170 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,021 - DID YOU TELL HER? 171 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,822 - DID YOU TELL HER YOU WERE HOT? 172 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,955 - YOUR TURN. 173 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,731 - OH. UH, OKAY. 174 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:37,901 YOU KNOW, IF THEY WERE BIGGER, I COULD SIGN MY WHOLE NAME. 175 00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,671 YOU KNOW, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER THAT WELL. 176 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,030 I'M JUST GONNA SIGN HER CLAVICLE. 177 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,498 - DID YOU? DID YOU? DID YOU TELL HER? 178 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,967 - DID YOU TELL HER? 179 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,735 - DID YOU? DID YOU? DID YOU TELL HER? 180 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:48,975 DID YOU TELL HER? 181 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,779 - DID YOU TELL HER ABOUT US? 182 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:52,952 - DID YOU TELL HER? 183 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,980 - DID YOU TELL HER WHAT WE DID? 184 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,745 [cell phone rings] 185 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,585 - HEY, BABE. - HEY, I WANT TO BAKE A CAKE. 186 00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,521 SO CAN YOU BRING HOME SOME CAKE STUFF? 187 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:06,456 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST BRING HOME A CAKE. 188 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,934 - YOU ARE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE WHERE I AM. 189 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,231 I'M AT THIS CRAZY PARTY WHERE ALL THE GIRLS 190 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,062 ARE TAKING TOPLESS PICTURES 191 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,897 AND ALL THE FOOD LOOKS LIKE BREASTS. 192 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,542 - FUN. I'M FOLDING SOCKS. - DAN MADE ME COME. 193 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,538 HE'S REALLY CRAZY ABOUT THE GIRL WHO RUNS THE GALLERY, 194 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,240 WHO RIGHT NOW IS HAVING HER BREASTS SIGNED BY TWO GAY GUYS. 195 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,112 - AND I'VE MOVED ON TO YOUR UNDERWEAR. 196 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,711 HEY, YOU KNOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE THAT PARTY 197 00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,014 THAT I WENT TO FOR MY COUSIN, ELIZABETH. 198 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,206 - OH, YEAH, BUT THAT WAS SAD. 199 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,977 SHE HAD BREAST CANCER, RIGHT? 200 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,646 - DID YOU TELL HER? 201 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:34,494 DID YOU? DID YOU? DID YOU TELL HER? 202 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,122 - DON'T YOU THINK YOU'D BETTER? 203 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:40,832 - YOU'RE AT A "GOOD-BYE BOOB" PARTY? 204 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,501 - YES. YES. SHE'S SAYING GOOD-BYE TO HER BOOBS. 205 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,230 I SHOULDN'T BE HERE. I'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER BOOBS! 206 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,904 - YEAH. SO WHY ARE YOU THERE? 207 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:49,073 - UH, I DON'T KNOW. DAN SAID THERE WAS A VIBE. 208 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,902 I GOT TO FIND HIM. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS. 209 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,208 - HE'S NOT WITH YOU? JUDD, MAKE HIM NOT BE STUPID. 210 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,170 - OKAY. OKAY. 211 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,837 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE ARE CUPCAKES HERE. 212 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,276 IT'LL SAVE ME A TRIP TO THE STORE. 213 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,810 - OH, YES, YES, YES. GET CHOCOLATE. 214 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,876 OKAY, BUT GO FIND DAN. - OKAY. 215 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,924 - THEN EMBEDDED IN THE METAL OF A WINDOW GUARD 216 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,721 A SLIM TITANIUM BUSINESS CARD 217 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,623 - OH. - HEY, WHAT'S UP? 218 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,555 - WOW. DAN'S HERE. - YEAH. 219 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,191 I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY, YOU KNOW? 220 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,025 IT'S VENICE, RIGHT? - RIGHT. 221 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:17,301 - YEAH. HEY, BY THE WAY, I LOVE THIS THEME. 222 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,930 IS, UH, SOMEBODY GETTING A BOOB JOB? 223 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:23,197 - YEAH. YOU COULD SAY THAT. 224 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,206 - OH, MY GOD. IT'S NOT YOU, IS IT? 225 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,808 WE JUST TALKED ABOUT THIS, SERIOUSLY. 226 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,010 I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY YOU DON'T NEED ANY WORK DONE. 227 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:32,212 - DAN, I'M HAVING A MASTECTOMY. 228 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,122 - ALEX, HEY. 229 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,790 - HI. - GREAT PARTY. 230 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:42,989 I MEAN, NOT, UM, GREAT, BUT, UH, EMPOWERING. 231 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,833 I WOULD IMAGINE. 232 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,828 UM, LOOK, WHATEVER HE SAID, HE'S SORRY. 233 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,571 UH, I'M SORRY. AND, UH, DO ME A FAVOR. 234 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,169 UM, TAKE WHAT I WROTE ON YOUR CLAVICLE 235 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,640 WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. 236 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,568 - YOU GUYS, IT'S FINE. ENJOY YOURSELVES. 237 00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:57,844 AND, HEY, DON'T LEAVE 238 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,611 WITHOUT TRYING A MEXICAN BOOB COOKIE. 239 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,240 - HEY. 240 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,975 OH. 241 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,651 MY ONE NIGHT OUT, 242 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,579 I'M WEARING A PURPLE SHIRT, AND I CRASH A CANCER PARTY. 243 00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,915 THANKS, BUDDY. - WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. 244 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,149 - NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T LEAVE. 245 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,323 IF YOU LEAVE NOW, YOU'RE A DOUCHE. 246 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,351 AND YOU'RE ALREADY A DOUCHE, SO THAT'S DOUCHE SQUARED. 247 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,757 AND WHEN YOU SQUARE SOMETHING, 248 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,589 YOU JUST DON'T TIMES IT BY TWO, DANNY. 249 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,885 IT'S TIMES ITSELF. THAT'S DOUCHE TIMES DOUCHE. 250 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,897 - I KIND OF FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT SUPPORTING ME HERE, JUDD. 251 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,259 - YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S 9:00. 252 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,096 WE'LL STAY FOR A HALF HOUR, RIGHT? 253 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,772 THEN WE'LL TAKE A CUPCAKE. 254 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,600 THROW IT IN A NAPKIN FOR MY PREMENSTRUAL WIFE. 255 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,496 AND THEN WE'LL SAY OUR GOOD-BYES. 256 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,636 YOU CAN DO THAT-- HALF AN HOUR, BUDDY. 257 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,772 - OKAY. YEAH. 30 MINUTES. - 30--YOU CAN DO THAT. 258 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,977 RIGHT UP HERE. ALL RIGHT. - I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. 259 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,339 - OF COURSE YOU CAN. - 30 MINUTES. 260 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,316 - GOOD NIGHT, DAN. - OH, HEY. 261 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,252 HOW ARE YOU? 262 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,757 I WAS, UH, JUST LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM. 263 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,119 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT. I'VE GOT ONE AT HOME. 264 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,798 - IT'S OKAY. I GET WHY YOU'D WANT TO BOLT. 265 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:57,028 YOU KNOW, YOU CAME HERE THINKING YOU MIGHT GET LAID 266 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,104 OR SOMETHING. 267 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,831 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 268 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,367 UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES, 269 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,741 THAT PROBABLY WOULD'VE HAPPENED. 270 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,871 - I'M SORRY. - OH, PLEASE DON'T BE. 271 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,677 IT'S FINE. I'M--I'M DRINKING CHAMPAGNE. 272 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,650 IT'S A GOOD NIGHT. 273 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,150 - YOU, UH... 274 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,052 SEEM PRETTY OKAY WITH THIS. 275 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:21,815 - WELL, MIGHT AS WELL GET A GOOD PARTY OUT OF IT, RIGHT? 276 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,155 - YEAH. 277 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:27,161 YEAH. 278 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,764 - HEY, DAN, CAN I-- 279 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,427 CAN I ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME... 280 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:36,795 EVEN THOUGH IT'S GONNA SOUND A LITTLE STRANGE? 281 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,667 - UH, SURE. 282 00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,707 - WOULD YOU GET TO SECOND WITH ME? 283 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:45,312 - WHAT? YOU MEAN, LIKE, YOU WANT ME TO...? 284 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,675 - YEAH. 285 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:51,745 COME ON, YOU'LL BE THE LAST GUY WHO GETS TO FEEL THE REAL ME... 286 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:53,685 UNLESS SOME ORDERLY AT THE HOSPITAL 287 00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,461 DECIDES TO GET A LITTLE FREAKY, YOU KNOW? 288 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,188 [chuckles] 289 00:10:57,224 --> 00:11:00,164 - YEAH. YEAH. SURE. 290 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,351 - I SHOULD PROBABLY WARM THESE UP A LITTLE BIT. 291 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:31,315 - STRANGE YOU NEVER KNEW 292 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,895 FADE INTO YOU 293 00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,070 - IT'S A SHAME. 294 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,898 YOU REALLY... 295 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:43,843 HAVE GOOD BOOBS. 296 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,071 - I KNOW. 297 00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,836 [crying] THEY'RE REALLY GOOD. 298 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:51,475 - NO. OH, MY GOD. I'M SORRY. I MADE YOU CRY. 299 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,151 - NO. NO. PLEASE DON'T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. 300 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,480 YOU KNOW, I HAVE-- I HAVE OTHER REASONS. 301 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:59,785 - YEAH. NO. OF COURSE. 302 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,090 UH, YOU KNOW, IN HARD TIMES, 303 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,293 UM... 304 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:08,295 I ALWAYS SAY... 305 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,828 "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'." 306 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:15,244 - REALLY? "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'"? 307 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:18,908 THANKS, DAN. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN. 308 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:25,778 - I THINK IT'S STRANGE YOU NEVER KNEW 309 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,413 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID TO HER. 310 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,217 YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SAID, "HANG IN THERE, KITTY," 311 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,479 OR, "A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A FRIEND INDEED." 312 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,488 - I KNOW. I KNOW. I TOTALLY BLEW IT. 313 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,060 I COULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR HER. 314 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,458 HEY, BY THE WAY, I'M SORRY I DITCHED YOU, DUDE. 315 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,330 - OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 316 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,859 AFTER YOU LEFT, I ACTUALLY ENDED UP HAVING A PRETTY GOOD TIME. 317 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,095 LOOK AT THAT. - YOU LOOK REALLY HAPPY THERE. 318 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,571 - AT 2:00 A.M., GOOD-BYE BOOB BECAME GOOD-BYE PANTS. 319 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,799 - YOU SHOW THAT TO COLLEEN YET? - AND DELETE. 320 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:50,797 - HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 321 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,968 MAYBE I COULD, LIKE, DRIVE HER TO THE HOSPITAL 322 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,536 OR, UH, TALK TO HER DOCTORS OR LOOK AFTER HER CAT. 323 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,375 SHE SEEMS LIKE THE KIND OF CHICK THAT WOULD HAVE A CAT 324 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,350 AND A BIRD, YOU KNOW? 325 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,178 THEY WOULD GET ALONG BECAUSE OF HER, RIGHT? 326 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:03,423 - YEAH, UNTIL ONE OF THEM GOT HUNGRY. 327 00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,993 LOOK, MAN, I'M REALLY LIKING THIS SIDE OF YOU. 328 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,822 BUT I THINK A GIRL LIKE THIS HAS ALREADY GOT PEOPLE 329 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,358 TO TAKE CARE OF STUFF LIKE THAT FOR HER. 330 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:15,362 - YEAH, AND NOT THE GUY THAT WALKED OUT OF HER PARTY. 331 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:19,025 I GUESS I'M MORE LIKE THE GUY THAT YOU COME TO FOR TATTOOS 332 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,496 OR TO SHOOT FIREWORKS OUT OF HIS BUTT CRACK, 333 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,574 NOT LIFE STUFF. 334 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,442 - YOU KNOW WHAT, THOUGH? 335 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,410 THAT WAS A VERY SPIRITED FOURTH OF JULY. 336 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,179 - I REALLY LIKE HER, DUDE. 337 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,278 - I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE A DOUCHE. 338 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,451 - NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I THINK I'M SANE 339 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:40,122 NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I FEEL THE SAME 340 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:44,963 ABOUT BEING THROUGH 341 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:49,562 NOT A DAY WITHOUT YOU 342 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:54,296 NOT A TEAR FALLS DOWN FROM MY DESPERATE BRAIN 343 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:59,044 NOT A TEAR DESCENDS AND I FIND I CAN REFRAIN 344 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:03,982 FROM THE EMPTINESS 345 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:07,981 - HEY, GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT OF HERE, DUDE! 346 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,145 - HE'S GOT THREE LEGS, A-HOLE! 347 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:14,323 - AND IN MY DARKEST SADNESS 348 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:19,634 I ACHE FOR JUST A FIX OF YOU 349 00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:23,929 AND IN MY DARKEST SADNESS 350 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:29,144 I ACHE FOR JUST A FIX OF YOU 351 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:30,539 - HEY. - HI. 352 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,140 - YOU'RE ALIVE! 353 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,412 WHY WOULD THAT EVER BE THE RIGHT THING TO SAY? 354 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,952 - IT'S OKAY. I AM VERY MUCH ALIVE. 355 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:41,078 I ALREADY FELT FAT IN MY JEANS AND HUNG UP ON MY MOM. 356 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,084 I AM BACK IN THE WORLD. 357 00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,416 - IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS, RIGHT? - YEAH. 358 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:52,689 SO I'M GUESSING THE DAISIES ARE FROM YOU? 359 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,525 THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU. 360 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,103 DAN, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY. 361 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,472 I SHOULDN'T HAVE LAID ALL THAT ON YOU AT THE PARTY. 362 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,671 - NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S FINE. IT'S GOOD. IT'S GOOD. 363 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,514 I MEAN, IT'S GOOD THAT, YOU KNOW, I COULD, UM... 364 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,610 BE THERE FOR YOU, YOU KNOW? 365 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,012 AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING-- ANYTHING AT ALL-- 366 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,575 LIKE, YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO DO YOUR LAUNDRY 367 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,124 OR FIELD PHONE CALLS FROM YOUR MOM, 368 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,620 'CAUSE SHE KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE A HANDFUL, 369 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,963 I'M YOUR GUY, YOU KNOW? 370 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,990 O-OR IF--IF YOU JUST WANT TO, UH, GRAB SOME DINNER 371 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:29,526 SOME TIME OR SOMETHING. 372 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,632 - DAN, NO, IT'S-- YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 373 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:37,165 UM, I MEAN, IT'S--IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN. 374 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:40,014 I JUST HAVE SO MUCH STUFF GOING ON RIGHT NOW, YOU KNOW? 375 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,080 - YEAH. YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. NO, NO, NO. 376 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:45,510 - AND, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DAN. - YEAH. 377 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,345 - YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST-- IT'S SO NOT YOUR TRIP. 378 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,281 - YEAH, YEAH, RIGHT. 379 00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,118 - BUT, SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FLOWERS, 380 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,593 BECAUSE THAT WAS SO SWEET. 381 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,722 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 382 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,096 - I'LL SEE YOU AROUND. 383 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,000 - YEAH. 384 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:07,502 SEE YOU. 385 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:32,190 ALEX, I'M NOT JUST DAN, OKAY? 386 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,425 I'M NOT JUST THE GUY WHO DOES TATTOOS 387 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,801 AND SURFS AND CAN GET YOU MEDICAL MARIJUANA-- 388 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,398 WHICH, BY THE WAY, I'M TOTALLY GONNA HOOK YOU UP, 389 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,231 'CAUSE A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A FRIEND INDEED. 390 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,727 - OKAY. 391 00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,338 - BUT, SERIOUSLY, I'M SOMEBODY WHO YOU CAN COME TO WITH STUFF. 392 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,811 I'M SOMEBODY WHO YOU CAN LEAN ON. 393 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:49,178 AND--AND, YES, I HAVE NO IDEA 394 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,039 WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW. 395 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:55,078 BUT I SURE AS HELL WANT TO TRY. 396 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,745 YOU KNOW? - I KNOW, BUT-- 397 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,193 - HERE, I WANT TO DO THIS WITH YOU. 398 00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,518 - WHAT ARE YOU--NO, DAN. - IT'S OKAY. 399 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,792 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO-- - I'M NOT AFRAID. 400 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,520 - BUT I'M NOT-- - LISTEN, HEY, SHH. 401 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:06,055 IT'S OKAY. I'M NOT AFRAID. I WANT TO DO THIS. 402 00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,403 OKAY? 403 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,798 - OKAY. 404 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,570 - SEE? NO BIG DEAL. 405 00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:24,207 - DAN, I'M NOT DOING CHEMO. 406 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:31,077 - WAIT. YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE YOUR HAIR? 407 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,115 WHY'D YOU LET ME CUT MINE? 408 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:40,287 - BECAUSE YOU'RE A 30-YEAR-OLD DUDE WITH A PONYTAIL. 409 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:44,597 AT LEAST ONE GOOD THING SHOULD COME FROM CANCER... 410 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,301 RIGHT? 411 00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:54,767 TURN AROUND. 412 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:02,276 - LATELY 413 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:06,517 OH, LATELY 414 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,358 [Cee Lo Green's Bright Lights Bigger City] 415 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:16,501 416 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,169 - I'VE BEEN LIVING FOR THE WEEKEND 417 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,199 BUT NO, NOT ANYMORE 418 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,744 'CAUSE HERE COMES THAT FAMILIAR FEELING 419 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,670 THAT'S FRIDAY'S FAMOUS FOR 420 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,905 YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION 421 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,180 AND IT'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE 422 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,450 YOU CAN FEEL THE ELECTRICITY 423 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:35,319 ALL IN THE EVENING AIR 424 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:38,118 AND IT MAY JUST BE MORE OF THE SAME... 425 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,219 - SO I DELETE MY PHONE NUMBER, 426 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,485 AND THEN I ESCAPE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. 427 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,464 I CALL IT THE NINJA VANISH. 428 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,893 IT'S QUITE ELEGANT, ACTUALLY. 429 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:48,897 - WHY DO YOU LEAVE? 430 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,158 ISN'T IT LESS SUSPICIOUS TO GET BACK IN THE BED? 431 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,298 - YEAH, BUT THEN YOU'RE NOT VANISHING. 432 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,402 YOU'RE ERASING. 433 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:56,373 AND THIS IS THE NINJA VANISH, NOT THE NINJA ERASE. 434 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,573 - SPECIAL DELIVERY FOR UNCLE RICKY. 435 00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,244 - OH, NO, NO, NO. HELLO. 436 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,383 - SO WHY DO YOU EVEN GIVE THEM YOUR NUMBER? 437 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:03,939 YOU COULD STILL LEAVE AND NOT SEE THEM AGAIN. 438 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:04,936 - YEAH, YOU COULD. 439 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,847 BUT THEN YOU'RE JUST ESCAPING. NOT VANISHING. 440 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,720 AND THERE'S NOTHING REALLY NINJA-Y ABOUT THAT. 441 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,349 - I THINK THE VANISH IS GENIUS. 442 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,394 YOU SHOULD WIN AN AWARD OR SOMETHING. 443 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,390 - YEAH. LIKE A NOBEL "PIECE OF ASS" PRIZE. 444 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,322 [laughter] 445 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,557 - MORE LIKE AN ASS-CADEMY AWARD. 446 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,603 - OKAY, DUDE, IF YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA TRY... 447 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,899 - SO WHAT IF THE PHONE-- [child screams] 448 00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,231 - JEFFERY, GO APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW! 449 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,837 RIGHT NOW! FIVE, FOUR... 450 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,409 SO WHAT IF THEY LOCK THE PHONE? THEN YOU'RE SCREWED. 451 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,569 - THAT'S PART OF THE CHALLENGE-- 452 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,307 GETTING THE PASS CODE. 453 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,605 TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY'RE REALLY INTO 454 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,617 I ALWAYS SAY, "DO YOU HAVE A PET? 455 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,520 I'D LOVE TO SEE A PICTURE OF IT." 456 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:49,322 SINGLE WOMEN ALL HAVE PETS, AND THEY LOVE TO SHOW THEM OFF. 457 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,586 AND YOU GET A CHANCE TO SEE THEIR PASS CODE. 458 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,664 - NICE. - YOU'RE SUCH AN A-HOLE, MAN. 459 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,004 - ACTUALLY, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF THE NINJA VANISH. 460 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,769 YOU NEVER COME OFF AS AN A-HOLE. 461 00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:02,468 I ALWAYS LEAVE A COZY NOTE, SAYING SORRY I HAD TO LEAVE, 462 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,402 BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE HER. 463 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,837 ENJOY THE ROOM SERVICE. 464 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:11,442 CHARMING, FUNNY, CHARMING. CALL ME. 465 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:14,508 SHE LOOKS FOR MY NUMBER, CAN'T FIND IT. 466 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,317 SHE THINKS I'M GREAT, AND TECHNOLOGY SUCKS. 467 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,551 - I GOT TO ADMIT, THAT IS PRETTY GOOD. 468 00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,917 HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU DUMPED? 469 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,385 - I'M NOT DUMPING. I'M PREVENTING. 470 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:26,685 "DUMPING" SOUNDS SO NEGATIVE. 471 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,526 THE NINJA VANISH IS LIKE A CONDOM. 472 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,401 I GET TO HAVE A GREAT TIME WITH THE WOMAN 473 00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,830 WITHOUT THE FEAR OF CONTRACTING A RELATIONSHIP. 474 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,465 - OH, MAN, I WANT TO BE YOU. 475 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:37,401 - OF COURSE YOU WANT TO BE ME. YOU'RE DEAD INSIDE. 476 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,007 AND BY "DEAD INSIDE," I MEAN YOU'RE MARRIED, THAT'S ALL. 477 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:42,008 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN, 478 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:43,411 I GOT A DATE. 479 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:46,753 - WITH WHO? - TELL YOU IN THE MORNING. 480 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,803 THERE YOU ARE. 481 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:14,374 [phone clatters] 482 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:17,407 - HEY. - HEY. 483 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,754 - WHAT'S GOING ON? - I TRIPPED. 484 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,419 I THINK I D-- 485 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:25,079 YEAH, MY FOOT. OW. 486 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,657 - ARE YOU LEAVING? - YOU KNOW, WORK. 487 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,718 - MM. YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE ME. 488 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,787 - EXACTLY. - DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO? 489 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,326 - I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE. 490 00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,802 YOU KNOW, I'M A BIT OF A BLANKIE HOG. 491 00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:39,529 - NO. STAY. 492 00:21:39,566 --> 00:21:42,396 I WANT YOU TO. COME ON. GET BACK IN BED. 493 00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:45,505 [pats bed] COME ON. 494 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:49,443 - OKAY. - MM-HMM. 495 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:53,606 MMM. SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. 496 00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,876 - APPARENTLY. 497 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:07,560 - SO, RICKY--WAIT, IS IT RICKY OR RICHARD? 498 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:10,404 - UH, IT'S RICKY. - HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN RICKY? 499 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:12,930 - THREE MONTHS AGO, I WAS DJ PAJAMA JAMMY JAM. 500 00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:15,495 - DJ PAJAMA JAMMY JAM? - YEAH. 501 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:17,565 I SHOW UP AT THE CLUB IN MY PAJAMAS 502 00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:19,474 AND WE... JAM 503 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,736 [both laugh] 504 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:23,684 - WELL, I LIKE RICHARD. 505 00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:26,010 I DON'T KNOW--I JUST THINK IT SOUNDS MORE MASCULINE. 506 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:29,045 - I LIKE RICHARD TOO... WHEN YOU SAY IT. 507 00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,481 - [chuckles] 508 00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:35,458 SO, RICHARD, I HAD FUN LAST NIGHT. 509 00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:38,888 AND, UH, NO OFFENSE, BUT I DIDN'T REALLY PEG YOU 510 00:22:38,925 --> 00:22:40,925 FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD DANCER. 511 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:45,530 - SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? OH, I KNOW I CAN DANCE. 512 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:48,495 - WELL, I MEANT 'CAUSE YOU'RE A LITTLE TOP HEAVY. 513 00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:51,695 - YOU JUST CALL IT LIKE YOU SEE IT, HUH? 514 00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:53,868 I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE YOU BEFORE. 515 00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,536 - IS THAT A GOOD THING? 516 00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,175 - YEAH. 517 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,780 YEAH, IT IS. 518 00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:02,523 - THANK YOU. 519 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:06,189 OH, UM, I KNOW I HAVE YOUR NUMBER IN MY PHONE, 520 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,718 BUT I WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAD MINE TOO. 521 00:23:09,756 --> 00:23:11,516 - OH, OKAY. - MM-HMM. 522 00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:13,788 - YOU DOTTED YOUR "I" WITH A HEART 523 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:16,556 AND KISSED THE PAPER. 524 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,796 HEART AND A KISS. [knock at door] 525 00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:22,201 - MM. THAT'S... THE CREAM 526 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,614 - [laughs] THE CREAM 527 00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:28,008 - [gasps] THANK YOU. 528 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:37,052 SO DID YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAID? 529 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,223 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 530 00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,920 - THAT YOU NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE ME. 531 00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:44,563 - OH. ANGIE, YEAH. 532 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:47,791 YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE MEAN WHAT THEY SAY, 533 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:49,597 BUT DON'T SAY WHAT THEY MEAN. 534 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:51,459 THAT'S YOUR ARTISTS, YOUR SONGWRITERS-- 535 00:23:51,498 --> 00:23:53,768 STEVIE WONDER, BURT BACHARACH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 536 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,840 SOME PEOPLE SAY WHAT THEY MEAN, 537 00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,668 BUT DON'T MEAN WHAT THEY SAY-- LAWYERS, POLITICIANS, 538 00:23:58,705 --> 00:24:00,535 THE GUY AT THE CAR WASH THAT KEEPS ASKING ME 539 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:02,613 IF I WANT TO UPGRADE TO EXECUTIVE. 540 00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:03,582 I DON'T NEED THAT. 541 00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,250 I PREFER TO SAY WHAT I MEAN, MEAN WHAT I SAY. 542 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:09,918 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 543 00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:13,049 - I HONESTLY DON'T. 544 00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:16,594 OH, OH, OH! 545 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:18,933 I'M SO SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. 546 00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,558 - IT'S NICE AND WET. I CAN-- 547 00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:21,493 - OH, OH, OH. - NO, NO, NO! 548 00:24:21,528 --> 00:24:23,228 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL JUST--I'LL JUST, UH-- 549 00:24:23,262 --> 00:24:24,602 - NO, NO, NO. - NO, NO, NO. 550 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:26,601 I'M GONNA SCRATCH SHOWER OFF THE LIST. 551 00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:27,833 - I CAN'T BELIEVE I-I DID THAT. 552 00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:30,237 YOU KNOW, THERE'S A BLOW-DRYER IN THE BATHROOM. 553 00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:31,639 WHY DON'T YOU WAIT HERE? I'LL GO GET IT. 554 00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,941 - OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO-- 555 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:36,883 OKAY. 556 00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:43,622 HEY, HEY, HEY. 557 00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:45,150 CAN WE MAKE SURE THE SETTINGS ARE ON LOW? 558 00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,924 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO ROAST MY CHESTNUTS. 559 00:24:47,954 --> 00:24:49,594 I'M SERIOUS. DON'T BURN MY BALLS. 560 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:51,092 - THAT MUST'VE BEEN A NIGHTMARE. 561 00:24:51,123 --> 00:24:52,663 - AH, IT WASN'T THAT BAD. 562 00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:54,132 IT'S GOOD TO BE CHALLENGED EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. 563 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,190 KEEPS YOU ON YOUR TOES. 564 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,027 PLUS, ANGIE WAS PRETTY COOL. 565 00:24:57,063 --> 00:24:59,673 - WHOA, WHOA, "ANGIE"? GETTING A LITTLE FAMILIAR. 566 00:24:59,699 --> 00:25:01,699 - DUDE, I'M NOT A MONSTER, OKAY? 567 00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:04,674 IT'S NOT, "HEY, YOU. HAD A GOOD TIME, YOU. 568 00:25:04,704 --> 00:25:05,844 "GOT TIME TO BANG, 569 00:25:05,872 --> 00:25:07,842 BUT NO TIME TO LEARN YOUR NAME, YOU." 570 00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:10,714 NO, IT'S, "TAKE CARE, ANGIE." "AND YOU, RICHARD." 571 00:25:10,743 --> 00:25:11,783 CIVIL. - RICHARD? 572 00:25:11,811 --> 00:25:13,651 MAMA DON'T EVEN CALL YOU RICHARD. 573 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,050 - UH-OH. - NO UH-OH. 574 00:25:15,081 --> 00:25:17,021 - YOU DIDN'T TELL HER YOUR DJ NAME, DID YOU? 575 00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:18,279 - NO, I DID NOT. 576 00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:19,747 - MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE NINJA'D HER. 577 00:25:19,786 --> 00:25:20,816 NOW YOU CAN'T SEE HER AGAIN. 578 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:22,663 - I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN. 579 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:23,619 - YES, YOU DO. GIVE HER A CALL. 580 00:25:23,656 --> 00:25:24,616 - HE'S GONNA CALL. 581 00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:26,087 - NO, HE'S NOT. JUST SHUT UP. 582 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:30,095 - LOOK, GUYS, RELAX. I'M NOT GONNA CALL HER, OKAY? 583 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:32,729 DID WE HAVE A GOOD TIME? YES, WE HAD A GREAT TIME. 584 00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:33,595 THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. 585 00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:35,603 WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GREAT TIME. 586 00:25:35,635 --> 00:25:37,695 WE'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE IT SPILLED 587 00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:40,067 INTO THE MORNING AND WE WATCHED KATHIE LEE AND HODA TOGETHER. 588 00:25:40,106 --> 00:25:41,706 - WHOA. WAIT A MINUTE. 589 00:25:41,741 --> 00:25:43,181 YOU WATCHED KATHIE LEE AND HODA TOGETHER? 590 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:45,649 - YEAH. all: OH! 591 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:48,878 - IT IS OVER! - GUYS, I HAVE THE NUMBER... 592 00:25:48,915 --> 00:25:50,045 RIGHT HERE. 593 00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,252 AND I WILL TEAR THIS BAD BOY UP. 594 00:25:52,284 --> 00:25:53,754 - THERE'S NOTHING ON THAT. - WHAT? 595 00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:56,586 - DUDE, IT'S BLANK. - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 596 00:25:56,623 --> 00:25:59,993 I SAW WHAT SHE PUT ON-- - SHE VANISHED YOUR ASS. 597 00:26:00,026 --> 00:26:01,626 - I SAW THE NUMBER. I PUT IT IN MY POCKET. 598 00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:02,861 - WELL, COULD SHE HAVE, LIKE-- 599 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,325 I DON'T KNOW-- SWITCHED THE PAPERS? 600 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,673 - IT'S THE SAME PAPER. THE LIPSTICK'S STILL ON IT. 601 00:26:06,699 --> 00:26:09,769 - WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU MET YOUR MATCH, MAN. 602 00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:12,172 - A PUG--SHE GOT A PUG NAMED CINCO. 603 00:26:12,204 --> 00:26:13,874 I FOUND THAT OUT WHEN I GOT HER PASS CODE 604 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,276 AND SHE WAS SHOWING ME PICTURES OF THE DOG IN A BOWTIE. 605 00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:17,338 - THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. 606 00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:19,706 - THERE'S A DOG PARK OVER ON 6TH RIGHT NEAR HERE. 607 00:26:19,746 --> 00:26:22,046 - NOBODY VANISHES ME. 608 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,721 - YEAH! HE'S BACK! 609 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,050 - OH! 610 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:27,894 - JEFFERY, APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW! FIVE... 611 00:26:30,389 --> 00:26:32,089 - OKAY, JUST SO WE HAVE OUR DUCKS LINED UP, 612 00:26:32,124 --> 00:26:34,694 ONCE WE FIND THIS ANGIE, WE'RE GONNA BEAT HER UP, RIGHT? 613 00:26:34,727 --> 00:26:38,297 - NO. WHO MARRIED YOU? [cell phone rings] 614 00:26:38,330 --> 00:26:40,300 - SHE ALWAYS KNOWS WHEN I'M TALKING ABOUT HER. 615 00:26:40,332 --> 00:26:43,372 I HATE THAT. HEY, BABY. STILL ON THE STAKEOUT. 616 00:26:43,402 --> 00:26:45,302 WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I BOUGHT THE WRONG BATTERIES? 617 00:26:45,337 --> 00:26:47,007 - [imitates whip cracking] 618 00:26:47,039 --> 00:26:49,879 - NO, YOU TOLD ME DOUBLE-A. - THERE SHE IS. 619 00:26:49,909 --> 00:26:51,309 - GOOD BOY. 620 00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:56,183 - CHECK AND MATE. 621 00:26:56,215 --> 00:26:58,175 - OH-HO. 622 00:26:58,217 --> 00:27:00,747 OH, MY GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 623 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,957 - ENJOYING THE PARK. 624 00:27:02,989 --> 00:27:05,389 ACTUALLY, I WAS GONNA CALL YOU AND TELL YOU 625 00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:07,664 HOW GREAT OF A TIME I HAD THE OTHER NIGHT, 626 00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:09,864 BUT SOMEHOW YOUR NUMBER DISAPPEARED. 627 00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:12,966 - OH, YEAH. HOW DID YOU FIND ME? 628 00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:16,339 - YOUR DOG. WOMEN NEVER LIE ABOUT THEIR DOGS. 629 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:18,138 - NOTED. 630 00:27:18,170 --> 00:27:20,410 - SO HOW'D YOU DO THE WHOLE THING WITH THE NUMBER? 631 00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:23,779 - WELL, I HOUDINI'D YOU. 632 00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,040 - HOUDINI'D? 633 00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:26,777 - YEAH. IT'S WHAT I DO WHEN I WANT TO MAKE SURE 634 00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:27,983 A GUY CAN'T CALL ME AGAIN. 635 00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:29,884 I USE THESE PENS WITH THIS INK 636 00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:32,046 THAT VANISHES WHEN HEAT'S APPLIED. 637 00:27:32,084 --> 00:27:34,294 - YOU'RE JOKING. - NO, NO, IT'S TRUE. 638 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,460 AND THEN IT REAPPEARS WHEN YOU PLACE IT 639 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,458 IN SOMETHING COLD. 640 00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:40,390 SEE, WHEN I FIGURED OUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO OUT 641 00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:41,686 WITH YOU AGAIN, 642 00:27:41,728 --> 00:27:43,198 SPILLING THE WATER ON YOU, 643 00:27:43,229 --> 00:27:45,799 BLOW-DRYING YOUR PANTS MADE THE INK VANISH. 644 00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,132 YOU WERE HOUDINI'D. 645 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:50,366 - THAT IS FANTASTIC! - MM-HMM. 646 00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:52,872 - SLIGHTLY EMASCULATING, BUT WELL DONE. 647 00:27:52,905 --> 00:27:54,305 I ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING I DO. 648 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:55,310 IT'S CALLED THE NINJA VANISH. 649 00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:59,251 I TAKE YOUR PHONE AND THEN DELETE MY NUMBER. 650 00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:02,178 - OH, THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING WITH YOUR HAND 651 00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:05,224 UNDER THE TABLE. 652 00:28:05,251 --> 00:28:08,921 "NINJA VANISH"-- GOOD FOR YOU. 653 00:28:08,955 --> 00:28:11,985 WELL, UH, THANKS FOR STALKING ME. 654 00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,394 TAKE CARE. 655 00:28:13,425 --> 00:28:16,095 - HEY, YOU KNOW... 656 00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:19,768 I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD GO OUT ON A SECOND DATE. 657 00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:22,869 - LOOK, UM, YOU'RE A NICE ENOUGH GUY 658 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,202 AND PRETTY FUNNY, 659 00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:26,506 BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'RE DATING MATERIAL. 660 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:28,468 - REALLY? WHY NOT? 661 00:28:28,507 --> 00:28:32,107 - WELL, SEE, SOME GUYS MEAN WHAT THEY SAY, 662 00:28:32,144 --> 00:28:33,454 BUT DON'T SAY WHAT THEY MEAN. 663 00:28:33,479 --> 00:28:35,079 THOSE ARE YOUR DREAMY, DRIFTER, BIKER, 664 00:28:35,114 --> 00:28:36,054 JAMES DEAN TYPES. 665 00:28:36,082 --> 00:28:37,952 I GOT THOSE OUT OF MY SYSTEM IN HIGH SCHOOL. 666 00:28:37,984 --> 00:28:41,294 OTHER GUYS SAY WHAT THEY MEAN, BUT DON'T MEAN WHAT THEY SAY-- 667 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,390 FATHER FIGURE, FINANCIALLY STABLE, 668 00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:45,792 BUYS YOU A NICE PIECE OF JEWELRY, BUT IT'S ALL HOLLOW. 669 00:28:45,825 --> 00:28:47,155 OUTGREW THEM IN COLLEGE. 670 00:28:47,193 --> 00:28:49,433 AND NOW ALL I WANT IS A MAN 671 00:28:49,461 --> 00:28:51,261 THAT SAYS WHAT HE MEANS AND MEANS WHAT HE SAYS. 672 00:28:51,297 --> 00:28:53,027 AND YOU'D BE AMAZED AT HOW HARD IT IS 673 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,465 TO FIND A MAN LIKE THAT, RICKY. 674 00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:57,000 - ACTUALLY, LOOK, THIS IS DIFFERENT FOR ME, 675 00:28:57,036 --> 00:28:59,306 BECAUSE I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE YOU. 676 00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:00,508 WHEN I WAS STEALING YOUR PHONE, 677 00:29:00,539 --> 00:29:03,379 I WAS, LIKE, "WOW, THIS GIRL IS AWESOME. 678 00:29:03,409 --> 00:29:05,409 SHE'S SPECIAL." - [chuckles] 679 00:29:05,444 --> 00:29:06,854 YOU KNOW WHAT? 680 00:29:06,879 --> 00:29:10,079 MY GUESS IS YOU'VE MET A LOT OF SPECIAL GIRLS. 681 00:29:10,116 --> 00:29:13,116 YOU JUST NEVER STAYED AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO FIND OUT. 682 00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:29,968 - EXCUSE ME. SORRY. EXCUSE ME. 683 00:29:30,002 --> 00:29:33,512 IT'S LIKE PREGNANT PINBALL. SORRY. OH, UH-- 684 00:29:33,539 --> 00:29:35,839 - WHY DO WE HAVE TO SUFFER BECAUSE YOU HAD UNSAFE SEX? 685 00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:37,075 - IT WASN'T UNSAFE. 686 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:38,909 THEY USED A PETRI DISH AND A BLOW GUN. 687 00:29:38,945 --> 00:29:41,905 - OKAY, A LITTLE RESPECT. I'M CREATING LIFE HERE. 688 00:29:41,948 --> 00:29:44,348 I'M KIND OF A GOD... WHO PEES TOO MUCH. 689 00:29:44,383 --> 00:29:45,523 - WHEN I WAS PREGNANT, 690 00:29:45,551 --> 00:29:47,821 MY HUSBAND SAID I WAS NEVER SEXIER. 691 00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:49,464 - OH. HE WAS PROBABLY JUST BEING NICE, 692 00:29:49,488 --> 00:29:51,558 UNLESS YOU WERE, LIKE, THE ONE PREGNANT WOMAN ON EARTH 693 00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:52,360 WHO DIDN'T GET SWOLLEN ANKLES 694 00:29:52,391 --> 00:29:54,191 AND A 13-YEAR-OLD BOY'S MUSTACHE. 695 00:29:54,226 --> 00:29:56,496 [laughs] 696 00:29:56,528 --> 00:29:59,928 - OKAY. [cell phone rings] 697 00:29:59,966 --> 00:30:01,926 - IT'S MY SISTER. 698 00:30:01,968 --> 00:30:03,498 HEY, CHLOE. 699 00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:06,005 YEAH. 700 00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:09,338 A BLIND DATE? - YES, A BLIND DATE. 701 00:30:09,375 --> 00:30:11,605 WHY DON'T YOU LET YOURSELF HAVE SOME FUN FOR ONCE, OKAY? 702 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,483 YOU DESERVE IT. - OH, I'M FAT. 703 00:30:13,512 --> 00:30:15,552 I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING. 704 00:30:15,581 --> 00:30:16,421 - AND THAT'S MY FAULT YOU'RE FAT? 705 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:18,418 - TECHNICALLY, IT'S YOUR BABY'S FAULT. 706 00:30:18,450 --> 00:30:20,290 - OH, I KNEW IT. YOU TOTALLY RESENT ME. 707 00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:21,619 I HAVE RUINED YOUR LIFE. 708 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,563 YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MY SURROGATE, 709 00:30:23,589 --> 00:30:25,219 YOU JUST SAY SO. 710 00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:29,557 - UH, I SAY WE JUST LET IT PLAY OUT. 711 00:30:29,595 --> 00:30:32,595 LOOK, CHLOE, I AM SO HAPPY THAT I CAN DO THIS 712 00:30:32,631 --> 00:30:34,401 FOR YOU GUYS. 713 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:36,603 I JUST DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE DATING RIGHT NOW. 714 00:30:36,635 --> 00:30:40,035 ARE YOU MAKING A MARTINI? - NO. NO, NO, NO. 715 00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:41,372 WE HAVE A DEAL. 716 00:30:41,407 --> 00:30:43,507 I HAVE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING THAT YOU'VE GIVEN UP. 717 00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:46,652 BUT, ANNIE, THIS GUY IS AMAZING. 718 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:49,278 HE'S SO SWEET. HIS NAME IS MATT. 719 00:30:49,315 --> 00:30:51,875 - I DON'T KNOW. MATT? SOUNDS GAY. 720 00:30:51,918 --> 00:30:54,088 - PLEASE. YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH AN ANGEL. 721 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,620 LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU. - CHLOE! 722 00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:58,555 - HE'S MEETING YOU AT THE TAPAS PLACE ON JONES 723 00:30:58,590 --> 00:30:59,960 TOMORROW NIGHT AT 8:00. 724 00:30:59,992 --> 00:31:01,432 IF YOU DON'T GO, HE'LL THINK YOU'RE A BITCH. 725 00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:02,490 OH, AND NO SOFT CHEESES. 726 00:31:02,528 --> 00:31:05,898 OKAY, LOVE YOU. 727 00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:10,343 - UGH. [exhales deeply] 728 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:13,609 - OOH, I LOVE THAT ONE. - THIS IS MY MATERNITY GIRDLE. 729 00:31:13,639 --> 00:31:15,409 WHY AM I EVEN DOING THIS? 730 00:31:15,441 --> 00:31:17,141 I SHOULD'VE JUST WAITED TWO MONTHS. 731 00:31:17,176 --> 00:31:18,676 - NO. NO, YOU NEED THIS. 732 00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:20,610 YOU'VE BEEN SO DOWN LATELY. I THINK IT'S THE HORMONES. 733 00:31:20,646 --> 00:31:22,206 - IT IS NOT THE HORMONES. 734 00:31:22,248 --> 00:31:24,678 THAT'S JUST AN EXCUSE PREGNANT WOMEN USE TO ACT INSANE. 735 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,516 - OKAY, WHATEVER. YOU HAVE NOT BEEN YOURSELF. 736 00:31:26,552 --> 00:31:28,422 - I HAVE BEEN GREAT. 737 00:31:28,454 --> 00:31:31,224 I'M--I'M BETTER THAN MYSELF. I'M BEING A GREAT SISTER. 738 00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:33,257 HOW GREAT IS THAT? I'M GREAT! 739 00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:35,532 - WE MISS YOU. WE SUPER MISS YOU. 740 00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:36,931 DON'T YOU MISS YOU? 741 00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,633 DON'T YOU MISS "FUN GOING OUT" YOU? 742 00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:41,474 - YES, I DO. I MISS EVERYTHING. 743 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:44,570 I MISS FLIRTING WITH GUYS AND FEELING SEXY 744 00:31:44,603 --> 00:31:48,373 AND GETTING REALLY DRUNK AND MAKING OUT WITH THOSE GUYS. 745 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:49,937 OKAY, LUIS, WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE? 746 00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,636 DO YOU LIKE THE BLACK WITH THE RUCHING 747 00:31:51,677 --> 00:31:52,977 OR THE BLACK WITH THE PIPING? 748 00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:54,712 - ANNIE, YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. 749 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,516 JUST LEAVE THAT ONE ON. - YEAH? 750 00:31:57,549 --> 00:32:00,619 - YEAH, IT'S THE WINNER. - OKAY, WELL... 751 00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:04,122 - HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST ONE MORE THING. 752 00:32:04,156 --> 00:32:06,556 I GOT THESE FROM THAT DRAG QUEEN, KATRINA VICTIMS. 753 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,532 BIGGER BOOBS, MINIMIZE THE TUMMY. 754 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,500 LET'S GO. 755 00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:11,258 - YEAH, WHY DIDN'T YOUR BOOBS GET BIGGER? 756 00:32:11,297 --> 00:32:13,667 - THEY DOUBLED IN SIZE. - OH, THAT'S SAD. 757 00:32:13,699 --> 00:32:17,269 - WHAT? OH. 758 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,013 - MINE WON'T GO IN THERE. - UM... 759 00:32:19,038 --> 00:32:20,138 - IS IT IN THERE? 760 00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:23,242 - OKAY, THIS IS, HONESTLY, THE WORST THREE-WAY EVER. 761 00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,635 - NO, I'VE HAD WORSE. 762 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:29,617 - YOU COME WITH THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES 763 00:32:29,648 --> 00:32:32,748 AND I FEEL MY TEMPERATURE RISE 764 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:36,464 - PLEASE BE HIM. PLEASE BE HIM. PLEASE BE HIM. 765 00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:38,188 - YOUR HANDS REACH FOR MY WAIST 766 00:32:38,224 --> 00:32:39,764 I QUICKLY TURN AWAY 767 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,631 OH, BUT THEN I INCH CLOSER TO YOU 768 00:32:42,661 --> 00:32:44,331 - MATT? - I'M MATT. 769 00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:47,403 - HI. I'M ANNIE. 770 00:32:47,433 --> 00:32:51,573 WOW. YOU ARE SO NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. 771 00:32:51,603 --> 00:32:53,513 - WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING? - OH, I DON'T KNOW. 772 00:32:53,539 --> 00:32:55,409 MY SISTER HAS JUST BEEN KNOWN TO SET ME UP 773 00:32:55,441 --> 00:32:56,411 WITH SOME TOTAL CREEPS IN THE PAST. 774 00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:58,082 YOU KNOW, GUYS WHO STILL LIVE WITH THEIR MOMS 775 00:32:58,110 --> 00:32:59,680 OR SEEM LIKE THEY KEEP CHEERLEADERS 776 00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:00,751 IN THE BASEMENT OR SOMETHING. 777 00:33:00,779 --> 00:33:02,349 - I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GOOD CLOSET. 778 00:33:02,381 --> 00:33:05,451 - [laughs loudly] AH. WOW. 779 00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:07,454 I'M JUST--NO I'M JUST-- I'M REALLY SAYING 780 00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,516 THAT YOU'RE GOOD. 781 00:33:08,554 --> 00:33:10,694 YOU ARE-- YOU'RE REALLY GOOD. 782 00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:14,692 - YOU SEEM VERY GOOD TOO. - THANK YOU. 783 00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:19,169 YOU HAVE REALLY NICE EYES, MATT. 784 00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:20,668 - SO DO YOU, ANNIE. 785 00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:27,666 - OH! UM, THAT'S-- THAT'S A LITTLE TOO FAST. 786 00:33:27,706 --> 00:33:30,736 IT'S NOT THAT I'M NOT FEELING IT, TOO, 787 00:33:30,776 --> 00:33:32,476 'CAUSE I TOTALLY AM. 788 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:34,711 I'M JUST-- IT'S A LITTLE TOO SOON. 789 00:33:34,746 --> 00:33:36,246 - I WAS JUST GONNA TELL YOU YOUR... 790 00:33:36,282 --> 00:33:37,422 - [gasps] - YEAH. 791 00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:39,189 - DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO KISS YOU? 792 00:33:39,218 --> 00:33:40,448 - NO. - IT'S OKAY IF YOU DID. 793 00:33:40,486 --> 00:33:41,746 BUT CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION FIRST? 794 00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:45,757 - MM-HMM. - WHO ARE YOU? 795 00:33:45,791 --> 00:33:47,561 - ARE WE NOT ON A BLIND DATE? 796 00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:49,733 - I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG MATT. 797 00:33:52,698 --> 00:33:54,598 - WAIT, IF YOU KNEW I MADE A MISTAKE, 798 00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:56,103 WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? 799 00:33:56,135 --> 00:33:57,635 - I WANTED TO SEE WHERE THIS WAS GOING. 800 00:33:57,669 --> 00:33:59,109 I'VE NEVER BEEN HIT ON BY A PREGNANT LADY 801 00:33:59,138 --> 00:34:00,368 WITH DETACHABLE BREASTS. 802 00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:02,236 - OKAY, IT IS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. 803 00:34:02,274 --> 00:34:04,214 FIRST OF ALL, I'M NOT EVEN PREGNANT. 804 00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:06,383 WELL, I AM, BUT I'M NOT KEEPING IT. 805 00:34:06,412 --> 00:34:07,682 I MEAN, I'M NOT HAVING AN ABORTION, 806 00:34:07,713 --> 00:34:08,683 NOT THAT I'M AGAINST IT. 807 00:34:08,714 --> 00:34:10,424 I JUST FEEL LIKE A WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO CHOOSE. 808 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:11,319 - [laughs] 809 00:34:11,350 --> 00:34:12,850 - OKAY, MY SISTER HAS A HOSTILE WOMB. 810 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,394 YOU SHOULDN'T LAUGH AT A PREGNANT LADY. 811 00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:15,750 - I'M SORRY. 812 00:34:15,787 --> 00:34:20,827 IT'S JUST YOUR OTHER THING IS TRYING TO GET AWAY. 813 00:34:20,859 --> 00:34:23,159 - BARTENDER, CAN I PLEASE HAVE A MARTINI 814 00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:24,825 SO I CAN THROW IT IN THIS MAN'S FACE? 815 00:34:24,863 --> 00:34:26,773 - ANNIE? 816 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,798 HEY. 817 00:34:28,834 --> 00:34:30,274 - HI. 818 00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:32,172 [clears throat] 819 00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:36,684 IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A DATE WITH BETTER MATT. 820 00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:43,846 - THAT MAKES ME SO MAD THAT GUY TREATED YOU THAT WAY. 821 00:34:43,882 --> 00:34:46,892 - THAT'S VERY SWEET, BUT LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. 822 00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:49,558 - A PREGNANT WOMAN DESERVES RESPECT. 823 00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:52,118 - THAT IS WHAT I ALWAYS SAY. - I MEAN IT. 824 00:34:52,158 --> 00:34:54,888 I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING MORE PRECIOUS TO ME 825 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,596 THAN A WOMAN WITH CHILD. 826 00:34:57,629 --> 00:35:00,729 - [laughs] "WITH CHILD." 827 00:35:00,766 --> 00:35:03,866 - MAY I TOUCH YOUR BELLY? 828 00:35:03,902 --> 00:35:07,772 - OH. MAYBE AFTER WE ORDER. 829 00:35:07,806 --> 00:35:10,876 - AND A SIDE OF HUMMUS. THANK YOU. 830 00:35:10,909 --> 00:35:13,549 NOW CAN I TOUCH IT? - OH! 831 00:35:13,579 --> 00:35:16,279 - OH. - HOO-HOO. NO. 832 00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:20,615 - WE CAN WAIT. 833 00:35:20,652 --> 00:35:22,792 SO DO YOU FIND YOUR ORGASMS ARE LONGER AND MORE INTENSE 834 00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:24,321 THE CLOSER YOU GET TO YOUR DUE DATE? 835 00:35:24,356 --> 00:35:27,326 - [shudders] - OH, YOU COLD? 836 00:35:27,359 --> 00:35:29,899 - OKAY, WILL YOU EXCUSE ME? 837 00:35:29,928 --> 00:35:33,268 - OH, SURE. SURE. YEAH. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 838 00:35:33,299 --> 00:35:36,569 EXTRA PRESSURE ON THAT BLADDER. TAKE IT EASY. 839 00:35:36,602 --> 00:35:39,612 - YEAH. 840 00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:46,144 - WHAT--HELLO? HELLO? 841 00:35:50,549 --> 00:35:51,819 HOW'S IT GOING WITH BETTER MATT? 842 00:35:51,850 --> 00:35:52,880 - HE IS A FREAK. 843 00:35:52,918 --> 00:35:55,618 HE WANTS TO TAKE ME SHOPPING FOR LACTATION PADS. 844 00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:58,264 - MAYBE HE'S GOT A GUY. 845 00:35:58,290 --> 00:36:00,430 - OKAY, WHAT IS THIS DOING HERE? 846 00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:01,889 ISN'T THIS, LIKE, A VIOLATION? 847 00:36:01,927 --> 00:36:04,597 CAN YOU PLEASE CALL THE AUTHORITIES? 848 00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:06,970 - OH. 849 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:09,468 WHAT'S IN THIS THING--ROCKS? 850 00:36:09,501 --> 00:36:10,801 OH, YEAH. ROCKS. 851 00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:13,936 - TAKE THEM OUT. I WILL PAY YOU PER ROCK. 852 00:36:13,972 --> 00:36:15,812 - ALL RIGHT, HERE'S THE PLAN. 853 00:36:15,841 --> 00:36:17,841 I ROUND UP SIX OF THE MOST STRAPPING HOMELESS MEN 854 00:36:17,876 --> 00:36:19,676 I CAN FIND, TELL THEM I'LL PAY THEM IN ROCKS, 855 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:20,781 THEY'LL PROBABLY GO FOR IT, 856 00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:21,812 BOOM, YOU'RE OUT OF THE RESTAURANT. 857 00:36:21,847 --> 00:36:22,977 I'M A HERO. 858 00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,854 PROBABLY GET MY FACE ON A STAMP. 859 00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:28,954 - OKAY. I GET IT. THIS IS DUMB. 860 00:36:28,987 --> 00:36:33,687 IT IS JUST ONE DATE, AND THEY ARE SMALL PLATES. 861 00:36:33,725 --> 00:36:37,255 SEE THAT? HORMONES-- THEY JUST LEVELED OUT. 862 00:36:44,303 --> 00:36:45,273 - MM. 863 00:36:45,304 --> 00:36:47,914 SOMEBODY TOOK A LONG TIME. 864 00:36:47,939 --> 00:36:50,009 NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT. 865 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:52,011 HEMORRHOIDS ARE A COMMON PROBLEM. 866 00:36:52,043 --> 00:36:53,913 I COULD ASK FOR A PILLOW FOR YOU TO SIT ON, IF YOU WANT. 867 00:36:53,945 --> 00:36:57,445 - EXCUSE ME, ANNIE, YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL. 868 00:36:57,483 --> 00:37:01,323 - OH. OKAY. UM, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 869 00:37:01,353 --> 00:37:03,523 - LET ME HELP YOU. - NO! 870 00:37:03,555 --> 00:37:05,485 I'M GOOD. 871 00:37:11,963 --> 00:37:15,303 - YOU KNOW, THERE'S ANOTHER WAY TO LEAVE A RESTAURANT. 872 00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,472 - LET'S GO. 873 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:30,347 - ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO. 874 00:37:30,382 --> 00:37:32,352 - I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SURPRISED BY ANY OF THIS. 875 00:37:32,384 --> 00:37:33,954 MY SISTER ONCE SET ME UP WITH A GUY SHE MET 876 00:37:33,985 --> 00:37:35,985 IN THE LADIES' ROOM. 877 00:37:38,890 --> 00:37:42,790 MMM. THANK YOU. 878 00:37:42,828 --> 00:37:45,058 - WHY NOT WAIT TILL AFTER THE BABY 879 00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:46,666 TO JUMP BACK INTO THE DATING WORLD? 880 00:37:46,698 --> 00:37:47,898 - I KNOW. I KNOW. 881 00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:50,703 BUT EVERYONE JUST KEPT SAYING, "YOU'RE NOT BEING YOURSELF. 882 00:37:50,736 --> 00:37:53,766 GO OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN AND FEEL SEXY AGAIN." 883 00:37:53,805 --> 00:37:57,005 I REALLY THOUGHT I MISSED ALL OF THAT. 884 00:37:57,042 --> 00:37:59,412 - YOU DON'T? - I DON'T KNOW. 885 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:01,405 YOU KNOW, WHEN I AGREED TO DO THIS FOR MY SISTER, 886 00:38:01,447 --> 00:38:02,547 I KNEW IT WOULD BE HARD, 887 00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:05,321 BUT I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT HOW HARD, YOU KNOW, 888 00:38:05,351 --> 00:38:07,791 OR THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE SOMEONE TO DO IT WITH 889 00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:11,659 OR THAT I WOULDN'T GET TO KEEP THE BABY IN THE END. 890 00:38:11,690 --> 00:38:13,060 I GUESS--I DON'T KNOW. 891 00:38:13,091 --> 00:38:15,961 IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL LONELY, YOU KNOW? 892 00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:18,664 THAT'S IT. I JUST-- I FEEL KIND OF ALL ALONE. 893 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:22,767 - YOU'RE DOING AN AMAZING THING FOR HER. 894 00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:25,741 - YEAH. I JUST KIND OF WANTED HER TO LIKE ME. 895 00:38:25,771 --> 00:38:27,971 - [chuckles] 896 00:38:28,006 --> 00:38:31,636 - LISTEN, UM, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PRETZEL 897 00:38:31,677 --> 00:38:33,347 AND FOR YOUR JACKET 898 00:38:33,379 --> 00:38:36,719 AND FOR RESCUING THE PREGNANT LADY. 899 00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:37,778 - FOR THE RECORD, ANNIE, 900 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:39,646 YOU'RE A VERY SEXY PREGNANT LADY. 901 00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:53,899 - [gasps] OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY. 902 00:38:53,932 --> 00:38:56,572 - NO, I'M SORRY. - IT'S THE HORMONES. 903 00:38:56,602 --> 00:39:00,572 [cell phone ringing] 904 00:39:00,606 --> 00:39:02,836 - THIS GIRL I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET, SHE WAS LATE-- 905 00:39:02,874 --> 00:39:04,044 - PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO. 906 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,035 I'M ACTUALLY-- I'M GONNA GET THIS CAB. 907 00:39:06,077 --> 00:39:09,677 AND, UM, NO, GO. DON'T KEEP HER WAITING. 908 00:39:09,715 --> 00:39:12,545 GO. - OKAY. 909 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:14,994 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, ANNIE. - HERE... 910 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:17,020 THERE'S YOUR JACKET. 911 00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:20,025 OKAY. 912 00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:24,158 UM, OH, UH, MATT... 913 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:27,665 MAYBE I WILL SEE YOU ON A STAMP ONE DAY. 914 00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:34,837 - OH-OOH OOH-OOH 915 00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:39,883 OOH-OOH YEAH YEAH OOH-OOH 916 00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:45,651 OOH-OOH YEAH YEAH YEAH 917 00:39:45,684 --> 00:39:47,754 - YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAD 918 00:39:47,786 --> 00:39:49,786 - SOMEONE'S GOT A BOUNCE IN HER STEP. 919 00:39:49,821 --> 00:39:51,061 - OH. WHAT HAPPENED? 920 00:39:51,089 --> 00:39:52,719 POINT ON LUIS WHERE YOU TOUCHED HIM. 921 00:39:52,758 --> 00:39:54,688 WAS IT IN HIS BATHING-SUIT AREA? 922 00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:57,796 - YOU KNOW WHAT? MATT WAS REALLY NICE. 923 00:39:57,829 --> 00:40:00,029 BUT IF MATT CALLS, I AM NOT HERE. 924 00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:02,425 - THE BABY'S ATTACKED HER BRAIN. 925 00:40:02,468 --> 00:40:05,768 - [wolf-whistles] - DID YOU JUST WHISTLE AT ME? 926 00:40:05,804 --> 00:40:08,574 - SORRY. JUST GOOFING AROUND. 927 00:40:08,607 --> 00:40:09,367 - NO, IT'S GOOD. 928 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:10,837 KEEP OBJECTIFYING PREGNANT WOMEN. 929 00:40:10,876 --> 00:40:13,106 THEY REALLY NEED IT. 930 00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:17,754 - [gasps] A NEW TATTOO? - "KEEP ON TRUCKIN'." 931 00:40:17,783 --> 00:40:18,983 THAT'S MY MOTTO, ANNIE. 932 00:40:19,017 --> 00:40:21,517 WHATEVER LIFE HANDS YOU, YOU PICK YOURSELF UP 933 00:40:21,553 --> 00:40:22,893 AND KEEP RIGHT ON GOING. 934 00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:25,791 A VERY WISE TATTOO ARTIST IN VENICE, CA., 935 00:40:25,824 --> 00:40:27,594 ONCE SAID TO ME "YOU GOT TO LET GO 936 00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:29,496 "OF THE LIFE YOU WERE PLANNING... 937 00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:33,468 - IN ORDER TO ACCEPT THE ONE THAT'S WAITING FOR YOU." 938 00:40:33,499 --> 00:40:35,499 BOOM-- JOSEPH CAMPBELL. 939 00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:36,744 HE ALSO SAID, "FOLLOW YOUR BLISS," 940 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:37,838 WHICH IS PRETTY DOPE. 941 00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:38,869 J.C. WAS PIMP. 942 00:40:38,904 --> 00:40:39,974 - NOW I DON'T KNOW. 943 00:40:40,005 --> 00:40:41,835 I'M WORRIED ABOUT THE DAISIES. 944 00:40:41,873 --> 00:40:43,883 DO YOU THINK THEY'RE TOO GIRLIE? 945 00:40:43,909 --> 00:40:45,709 COME ON. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR THING-- 946 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:47,714 PICKING THE PERFECT TATTOO. 947 00:40:47,746 --> 00:40:51,116 WHAT DO I-- WHAT DO I NEED? 948 00:40:51,149 --> 00:40:54,819 - NOTHING. YOU'RE PERFECT. 949 00:40:54,853 --> 00:40:57,223 ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST GO WITH THE DAISIES. 950 00:40:57,255 --> 00:41:00,985 - IT'S YOUR BOOB. 951 00:41:01,026 --> 00:41:02,826 - AND WHEREVER THE ROAD TAKES YOU, 952 00:41:02,861 --> 00:41:06,871 ALWAYS REMEMBER TO CELEBRATE THE LITTLE VICTORIES. 953 00:41:06,898 --> 00:41:09,898 - OH, MY GOD. RICKY. - YEAH? 954 00:41:09,935 --> 00:41:12,635 - IT'S ME, MEGAN. WE WENT OUT ABOUT A MONTH AGO. 955 00:41:12,671 --> 00:41:15,111 AND THEN MY STUPID PHONE DELETED YOUR NUMBER. 956 00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:16,840 I MEAN, YOU PROBABLY THINK I WAS SHINING YOU ON, 957 00:41:16,875 --> 00:41:18,275 BUT I WASN'T. 958 00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:20,779 GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I RAN INTO YOU. 959 00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:22,852 - I KNOW. IT'S GREAT. 960 00:41:22,881 --> 00:41:27,651 - WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER SOME TIME. 961 00:41:27,686 --> 00:41:30,116 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 962 00:41:30,155 --> 00:41:32,015 YOU'RE RIGHT. WE SHOULD. 963 00:41:32,057 --> 00:41:33,657 WHY DON'T WE EXCHANGE NUMBERS 964 00:41:33,692 --> 00:41:36,962 SO WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ANY DISAPPEARING ACTS? 965 00:41:36,995 --> 00:41:39,865 - GREAT. I'M SO HAPPY I RAN INTO YOU, RICKY. 966 00:41:39,898 --> 00:41:43,028 - IT'S RICHARD. 967 00:41:43,068 --> 00:41:44,638 I GO BY RICHARD NOW. 968 00:41:44,670 --> 00:41:49,110 - COOL. RICHARD. 969 00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:51,980 DID YOU USED TO DJ IN YOUR PAJAMAS? 970 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,850 - I DID. 971 00:41:53,879 --> 00:41:58,679 - IT'S ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY, ANNIE. 972 00:41:58,717 --> 00:42:02,087 KEEP ON TRUCKIN'. [cell phone rings] 973 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:03,320 - HEY, CHLOE. 974 00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:04,924 - I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW YOU TREATED MATT. 975 00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:07,726 HE WAS HURT, ANNIE. - OH. OH. 976 00:42:07,759 --> 00:42:09,729 - YOU KNOW, I'M SURPRISED HE WANTS TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 977 00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:11,331 - YEAH. - BUT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO 978 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,102 IS YOU GUYS ARE GONNA MEET FOR A BRUNCH 979 00:42:13,131 --> 00:42:15,571 BECAUSE MAYBE YOU'LL BE BETTER BEHAVED BEFORE NOON... 980 00:42:15,601 --> 00:42:21,041 - OH OH OH OH WHOA 981 00:42:21,072 --> 00:42:23,042 - SO WALK ON BY 982 00:42:23,074 --> 00:42:23,144 OOH OOH-OOH-OOH 72351

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