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1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:03,771
-A Pop original series.
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,241
- We will beat you
in the aerobics finals!
3
00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:09,343
Your wife has been cheating
on you, Barry.
4
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:13,081
I will sell you half
of Fitness By Force.
It's like hedging your bets.
5
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:15,216
- You betrayed me?!
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,485
- What's this?
- Um, I'm rehearsing
my finals performance.
7
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,520
- So show me what you got.
8
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,632
- Yeah! Oh, yeah!
9
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,478
- Stop!
10
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:48,416
What is it gonna take
for you two
to stay on your marks?!
11
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:52,120
- I just heard a toilet flush.
The biggest toilet in the world!
12
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:56,390
This went down that toilet.
That's what I heard.
Did everyone hear it?
13
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:58,859
- I-I heard the toilet.
- Yeah! Yeah, I bet you did.
14
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:03,264
- Since this is gonna be on TV,
I feel like his brawn-ter
is gonna be a little strong.
15
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,665
- We are one hour
from show time,
16
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:07,235
and it has never taken this long
to rehearse.
17
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,669
The intro must be perfect!
18
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,871
- If fat Joe is standing
in front of me,
19
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,174
no one's gonna be able
to see me.
20
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,143
He's like a human
pot-bellied eclipse!
21
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,544
- That's not fair.
You're exaggerating slightly.
22
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,413
- Barry Manilow. Barry Sanders.
Barry the Cable Guy.
23
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,682
That's a short list
of better Barrys!
24
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,652
- Strawberry, blueberry,
best Barry!
25
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,688
- You just look stupid.
- See how rude he is?
26
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,124
- There is no fighting
in aerobics!
27
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,292
You said that in your speech
last night.
28
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:35,563
- Yeah, I was hallucinating!
- You two stay on your marks,
29
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:40,234
or My Little Pony here is gonna
kick your gymnasiums out!
30
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,670
- I don't care what happens
to any of you after this.
31
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,506
I just need to see smiles,
32
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,309
molar-to-molar smiles!
33
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:51,679
- Alright, you've heard her.
We'll take it
from the midpoint.
34
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,516
She would fellate a porcupine
to get her way.
35
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:58,252
I'm not even joking,
so don't upset her.
36
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:00,254
- Hey, I hate you.
37
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,656
- We should all listen
to the Vanslootens,
because they run this event.
38
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,593
But you should listen to me,
because if you don't,
I'll fire you.
39
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,696
- You can't fire us.
- Oh, he didn't tell you?
40
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:12,200
- You shut your mouth,
or I'll wipe my big ass
with your giant forehead!
41
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:15,169
- Joe sold half
of Fitness by Force to Claudia.
42
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,470
I own half of you.
43
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:19,607
- That's illegal and racist,
dawg.
- Yeah. Nice try, orange guy.
44
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,676
Our kick-ass captain
wouldn't play us like that,
right?
45
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:26,314
- Cue the music!
Three, two, one!
46
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,197
- That's why I'm donating
your $8 million inheritance
47
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:46,434
to the winning gym
of the Competitive
Aerobics Championships.
48
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,636
- What are you doing?!
Turn that off!
49
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,539
- Barry's in their heads.
Trust me!
I had to explain everything!
50
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,307
- There's prize money
up in this competition?
51
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,575
- The Colonel's got millions
of dollars.
52
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,577
- Claudia owns half
of Fitness by Force?
53
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,247
- You sold half our gym
to Claudia?!
54
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,349
- Everybody, just calm down,
alright?
55
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,351
We needed her money
to get here.
56
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:06,487
Oh, if we win today,
everybody gets
a six-figure bonus.
57
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,789
- Oh, money, money,
money, money!
58
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:13,261
- But our run to finals
was about team and family,
59
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,962
beating a common enemy.
60
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,664
- This money has nothing
to do with you.
61
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,532
- I don't care about the money,
Janet.
62
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,469
Good luck winning without me.
63
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:25,506
- Aw, c'mon, T-rex.
- You had no right
selling our gym!
64
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,475
- Okay, it looks
like Barry and Claudia are done,
65
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:30,978
so my plan was to get her
and her money
to come back to our family.
66
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,482
- And how are you planning
on winning without a full team?
- I don't know.
67
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:36,717
- Do you want me
to dance mixed pairs with you?
- No.
68
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,287
- I know the routine.
I know it. I could do it.
69
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,323
- No, I am not dancing
with my mother!
70
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,757
- I know it.
71
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,662
- Calm, resting heart rate
72
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:51,699
directly correlated
with top-tier athletes.
73
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,568
Let's check out
little piggy number one.
74
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:58,539
What's wrong
with this squiggly little piggy?
Do we have a little flutter?
75
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,542
You have 30 seconds
to lower your heart rate,
or you'll be replaced.
76
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:02,743
Lower it!!
77
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,679
Put your hand on my heart.
Feel it.
78
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,748
That is the heart rate
of a champion,
79
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,050
controlled by a brain
that has pre-visualized
80
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,653
every outcome and every variable
of every possible situation.
81
00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:16,056
Drop your hand.
Only touch me when I ask you to.
82
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,792
Now, who's gonna rub me down
in Ben-Gay?
83
00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,599
- You two-faced, skanky waif!
84
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:29,470
You toy with my hapless son
like he's some sort
of inbred corgi.
85
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,573
You make a deal to steal half
of my husband's money,
86
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,309
and you think that I'm simply
going to let that go?
87
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:37,845
I will spend my remaining years
88
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,714
enacting a slow
but painful revenge
89
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:45,519
that will end with you
nibbling off your own fingers
in an insane asylum.
90
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:49,523
- I might have a slightly more
mutually beneficial plan.
91
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,859
Barry found out
about my investment in your gym.
92
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,762
Right now, he's probably
plotting to leave me, sue me,
93
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,331
and hire a private investigator
to track me.
94
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,633
All I have left
is my investment in Force.
95
00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,836
And I actually really believe
Joe could win this thing.
96
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,839
- You... really think
that Joe could win?
97
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:09,777
- Wanna... have some wine
and talk about it?
98
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,812
- Hmm.
99
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,782
Chardonnay.
100
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:18,386
- Tina, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Just wait! Just listen.
I just...
101
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,788
Sorry, can we have the room
for a minute?
102
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,989
- This is supposed
to be our room.
103
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:26,860
- Yeah, well, I'm supposed
to be a rock star, okay?
Get out!
104
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,598
We are this close, this close,
105
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,566
to getting everything
that we worked so hard for,
106
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,803
and if you leave now,
we are screwed.
I have to dance with my mom.
107
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:39,640
Please don't make me dance
with my mom.
- Put yourself in my shoes, Joe.
108
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:43,544
- I need you. I don't even care
about the money.
109
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,813
I don't even care about winning.
I just...
110
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,915
I just want to dance with you.
111
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,655
- One condition.
- Anything.
112
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,557
- Stop talking
to that controlling,
113
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,926
power-hungry,
only-cares-about-herself bitch.
114
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:03,597
- I get it, but she's my mom.
- No, I'm talking about Claudia.
115
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:06,700
- Oh. Okay, deal.
No more Claudia.
116
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,703
- Claudia is fully
on Team Force now!
117
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:11,972
- Dammit!
- She has a great plan!
Oh, my God!
118
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,340
- Just wait.
119
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:17,445
Just stay until the end
of the finals,
and then we'll figure it out.
120
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:19,847
- Okay. I'm back in.
121
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,184
- What did I miss?
- Everything is so messy.
122
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,488
- All dancers report
to the stage for places.
123
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,922
- Come on!
124
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:32,392
- I thought this was good news.
125
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,664
- Welcome to the finals!
126
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:40,901
The 2018 Competitive
Aerobics Championships!
127
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,682
- I've got this, fatso.
- Hope you die.
128
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:58,619
- Wow! Another fabulous intro.
129
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,821
- I'm your co-host,
Kathy Vanslooten.
130
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:05,759
And this, of course,
is my attractive -
not as much as he used to be -
131
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,761
but fabulous husband,
Mr. Bill Vanslooten.
132
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,864
- Thank you,
my four-year-older wife.
- Oh, shhh.
133
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:14,602
- We have four categories
this evening. -
134
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,840
- The scores are out of 100.
135
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:22,976
Judges are allowed
to give up to 40 points
136
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:27,247
for technical compulsories
and up to 60 points for flair.
137
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,552
First team up
is Fitness by Force.
138
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,820
Could you do that?
- Not anymore.
139
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,029
- It's an 84 out of 100.
140
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:18,899
A lot of room for improvement,
but not a bad start.
141
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,969
- No, not bad at all.
Well, up next
is the Metrix team.
142
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,692
There's a sexual component
to this that I find fascinating.
143
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,668
A 91!
144
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,770
This Metrix team
is gonna be tough to beat.
145
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,639
- Yes!!
146
00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,940
Alright!!
147
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:03,043
- Brrr!
I'm about to lose my mind
because of all the excitement!
148
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,344
- Oh, don't do that, dear.
149
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,715
You haven't sold
enough time shares
for us to comfortably retire.
150
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,150
And we need
a little bit of your mind left
151
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,019
for the excitement
and anticipation
152
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,955
of what's coming next
at the CAC Finals.
153
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:24,064
- This one's
about climate change.
- It gives me hope.
154
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:31,571
It's an 87.
- A truly inspiring performance
by young Mr. Snacks.
155
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,982
- And young Chad scores an 84.
156
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,785
Mr. Cross will not be happy
with that.
157
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,788
- No. I once saw him eat
an exercise bicycle.
158
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:50,190
- Come on, how do it feel?!
How did it feel out there?!
159
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:53,393
Did it feel like something good,
'cause it was shit!!
It was such shit!
160
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,195
You failedme.
161
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:58,031
You... you failed.
162
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,802
- Well, he kind of deserved it.
163
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:11,144
Yeah yeah
164
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,413
- Who does he think he is?
165
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,724
Are they liking this?
166
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,425
They're liking this.
They're liking this.
167
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,066
- You like it bendy.
- Yeah.
168
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,142
- Wow. Wow.
- Wow. Wow!
169
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:45,879
Talk about chemistry!
Those two had a genuine spark.
170
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:49,182
- 88.
Much better than Barry Cross
and his mixed-pairs partner.
171
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:52,085
She had
a Stockholm Syndrome look
in her eye,
172
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,756
which is why they only scored
an 83.
173
00:10:57,024 --> 00:11:00,728
Coming next, the excitement
of the CAC finals,
174
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,863
the singles performances.
175
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:07,000
- Okay, we're up by one.
176
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:10,037
There's just
one performance left:
the solos.
177
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,715
- Joe, why does Barry
have a jukebox?
178
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:25,285
- And why is he wearing
the same costume as yours?
179
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,254
- This is a terrible
coincidence.
180
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,808
- Oh, he knows what he's doing.
181
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,177
- Yessiree,
and I like to see him do it.
182
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,079
- Oh, keep it in your pants!
183
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,918
- Oh, look at him.
184
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,794
How did Barry get your routine?
185
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,329
- Claudia came to my room
last night.
- No way!
186
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,200
I helped you with that routine
every night for weeks,
187
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,235
and you just gave it away
to the enemy?
188
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,007
- Whoa!
189
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:36,189
- That is the most impressive
aerobics move I have ever seen.
190
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,060
- That's how you do it, America.
191
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,295
That is gonna be hard
to beat.
192
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,197
Barry Cross's score is in.
193
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,566
It is an impressive 93
out of 100.
194
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:50,170
- Joe Force will need a miracle
to catch up
to Barry's performance!
195
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,875
- I hope
Claudia's flat, white booty
was worth millions of dollars.
196
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,845
- Oh... just as planned.
197
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,847
Flowers, gold medal,
198
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,281
and the money.
199
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,984
- Two-timing piece
of fucking shit!
200
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,019
I'm gonna fucking rip
her fucking tits out!
201
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:06,719
I'm gonna fucking rip
her fucking tits out!
You trashy, fake piece of shit!
202
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,889
You trashy, fake piece of shit!
203
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,993
Oh, I could choke her out!
204
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,862
But she'd like it.
205
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,833
- Okay, let's... let's go have
some herbal tea or something.
206
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:26,940
- I'm sorry, everyone.
I almost got carried away there.
207
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:29,276
- Oh, do not apologize.
That was amazing.
208
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,412
You trying to kill Claudia
with your shoe was touching.
209
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:37,317
Joe Force,
report to the stage.
- We're screwed.
210
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,420
You have to match Barry's score
to win and you don't even have
a routine.
211
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,923
- Oh, my God, you're right.
212
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,325
We're gonna lose.
213
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,933
Of course.
Of course this is what happens.
214
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:56,303
We're gonna lose because
that's... that's who I am!
215
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,638
I'm a loser.
216
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,041
So if I'm gonna lose,
I'm gonna go down big.
217
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,176
I'm gonna go
in a blaze of glory.
218
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:07,180
I'm gonna give
the greatest losing performance
anyone has ever seen.
219
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,983
Holy shit, I'm gonna win.
220
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,952
- What just happened?
221
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,054
- What did just happen?
222
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,056
Uh, guys...
223
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,191
I know I failed you a lot
in the past,
224
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,927
but I have never failed
an audience.
225
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,328
Barry may have stolen
my routine,
226
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,331
but... I'm gonna steal the show.
227
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,133
- What are you gonna do?
228
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,902
- What I do best.
229
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,971
Get me my jean jacket.
230
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,639
- Alright.
- And, Snacks...
231
00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:35,308
...find me a piano.
232
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,277
- Cool.
233
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,380
- Joe Force,
report to the stage.
234
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,066
Oh daddy dear you know
with your life
235
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:35,535
But girls
you're still number one
236
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:39,806
Oh girls
they anna have fun
237
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,720
- It's a classic.
238
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,088
Oh, it takes me back.
239
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:58,358
- Singing's illegal. That's a
violation. That's a violation.
- It is.
240
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:01,461
Let me hear you, CAC!
241
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,532
- Uh,
he's gone over his time limit.
242
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:09,336
There's no singing in aerobics!
It's in the rulebook.
243
00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:13,140
There's no singing in aerobics.
I found it in the rulebook here.
244
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:14,774
I remember it's #46B.
245
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:18,145
- Why don't you just tell
your muscles
to move away from the table.
246
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,780
Otherwise,
my beautiful and sexy wife here
will disqualify your ass.
247
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,284
- Stop it. Let go. Okay,
it's over. It's over. I won.
248
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,153
The Metrix has won.
249
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,460
- Stop. Stop.
250
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,429
- Okay, stop!
251
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:44,204
There's already
a winner!
252
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,440
- That's not even...
253
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:51,044
This is how you do
a butterfly clap. Ow! Oh!
254
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,046
- Barry!
255
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,449
- My ankle!
256
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,518
Okay. Gently.
257
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,121
Joe Force scores a 67.
258
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,822
That's a perfect flair score,
259
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:06,359
and the lowest technical score
on record.
260
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:09,596
Congratulations to Metrix.
I... I think they won.
261
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:12,165
- Yep.
- Yep, yep, they won.
262
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:14,567
Whatevs.
- That's aerobics.
- Pop!
263
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,836
- So proud of you!
264
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,472
Ah...
- Ah, I love you, Mom. Thanks.
265
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:23,076
- Come on, everyone.
We're family now.
- Yeah, c'mon. Group hug.
266
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,412
- Yeah.
Ya!!!
267
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,847
- We almost won!
268
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,083
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
269
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,518
- But we did it!
270
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,220
- Yeah.
- We did.
271
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,587
- Dammit.
272
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:38,791
We were close, though!
273
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,794
- What the flying fuck finger
was that?!
274
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:45,398
Ow! No, no, no, no,
no, no, no!!
275
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,367
I didn't get
my fucking gold medal!
276
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,336
I didn't get my bouquet.
277
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,238
It's a championship bouquet.
278
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,173
I love flowers!
279
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,509
He hijacked... my victory.
280
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:59,812
- Calm down. Please.
We won the money.
281
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,315
- Winning's not winning
when no one sees you win.
282
00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,484
That's the thing.
You're, like: Hey, I won!
283
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:08,288
If someone wins in a forest,
and a tree falls... fuck
You know what I mean!
284
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:19,199
Don't mind me!
Just on my way to the bank
to collect your dad's millions.
285
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,435
You know, call me crazy,
286
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,437
but I think...
287
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,607
the first thing I'm gonna do
is melt down 10,000 nickels
288
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,178
and make a statue of me
taking a dump in your mouth.
289
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,546
- Yeah.
290
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,416
You won the money...
and Claudia.
291
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,351
Keep 'em.
292
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,487
- What is this?
293
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,156
Oh. : "Oh, yeah,
we should be...
294
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,692
we should be friends, man,
not rivals."
295
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,595
That's your voice, right?
It's like someone
strangled a gopher.
296
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,330
"Hey, Barry, we can..."
297
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,598
Yeah,
it's like inward talking.
298
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,566
"We shouldn't be rivals anymore,
man."
299
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,903
- Mr. Force,
we have been looking for you.
300
00:18:56,936 --> 00:19:00,440
- Sorry you lost, dear,
but the video
of your performance went viral!
301
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,409
- Really?
302
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,677
- Another Joe Force fail.
- Oh, well, actually, Mr. Cross,
303
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,448
the response
has been so positive
that the CAC sponsors
304
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:12,452
are talking about sending Joe
and his team nationwide
305
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,321
to teach his style of aerobics.
306
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:18,425
- They thought
it was a great idea
to combine rock and aerobics
307
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,329
to open up the sport
to a wider, younger audience.
308
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:23,663
What do you call it?
309
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,665
- Uh...
310
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,467
Rockin' 'Robics?
311
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,470
- Brilliant.
- Whatever. Big deal.
312
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,372
- Oh, there's one other thing.
As you know,
313
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,506
we were very close
to your father.
314
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:37,410
He wrote a letter to you,
told us not to give it to you
315
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,679
until you made the finals.
- Let me see that.
316
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,414
- Thanks.
317
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,550
- Rockin' 'Robics.
Love that name.
318
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,621
- I'm gonna stay,
in case the letter
makes you cry.
319
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,757
I mean, that'll really make
my day perfect.
320
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,326
- "Dear Joe,
321
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,429
if you are reading this,
that means you made it
back to the finals.
322
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,665
I could not be more proud
of you."
323
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,769
- Aw, too bad Daddy isn't here
to see the scoreboard.
He wouldn't be proud.
324
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,439
- "Now, you may want
to sit down for this next part.
325
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,308
There is no money.
326
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,809
There was never any money.
327
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:14,514
I made up the $8 million
as a motivator to get you back
in the family business.
328
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:18,485
I love you, son. Good luck.
Colonel Tom Force."
329
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,587
- Let me see.
330
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,289
- Of course!
331
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,491
$8 million from aerobics?!
332
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,959
Our house sucks,
our gym is a dump.
333
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,362
We had my dad's funeral
in the backyard.
334
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,399
We're broke!
335
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,401
- No, no, no, no!
336
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,403
I thought you said
there was a will!
337
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:40,307
- I mean, I saw a video,
but I never actually saw a will.
338
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,510
Wow! I thought I lost,
339
00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:45,512
but I... I won.
340
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:48,715
- But you didn't win.
You didn't win. I won.
341
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,419
I won the medal.
342
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,554
I won the bouquet.
343
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,023
And I won half
of Fitness by Force, fucker.
344
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,826
And that means that I win
half of Rockin' 'Robics.
345
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,729
- Yeah, but Fitness by Force
is worth nothing,
so you own nothing.
346
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:06,466
- Well, I'm the king of turning
nothing into something.
- No, I'm the something.
347
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,336
You're the nothing.
- No, I'm a somebody.
You're a nobody.
348
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:12,839
- You're the someone
that nobody likes.
349
00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:15,742
- Everybody likes me. Ha-ha.
350
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,747
People like me.
351
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,618
Ah!!
352
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,522
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