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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:04,738 >> A POP ORIGINAL SERIES. 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,076 >> THE FIFTH ANNUAL COMPETITIVE 3 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,111 AEROBICS COMPETITION, 4 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,079 IT WAS MY FIRST FINALS 5 00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,246 AND I WAS THE FAVORITE 6 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,614 TO WIN IT ALL. 7 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:14,748 MY DAD MADE ME TRAIN 8 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,085 MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT. 9 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,087 >> TODAY'S THE DAY, SON. 10 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,654 MOMENTS LIKE THIS SEPARATE 11 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,656 THE MEN FROM THE BOYS. 12 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,325 >> AND LAST ROUTINE PUTS 13 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,128 BARRY CROSS IN THE LEAD. 14 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:28,296 >> BARRY... 15 00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,831 >> OKAY, THAT'S ME, JOE FORCE, 16 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,432 WITH EVERY PERSON 17 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,766 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO AVOID 18 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,668 FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS. 19 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:38,339 BARRY CROSS, MY ARCH NEMESIS. 20 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,141 CLAUDIA, MY HIGH SCHOOL 21 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,342 GIRLFRIEND THAT LEFT ME 22 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,511 FOR MY ARCH NEMESIS. 23 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,214 MY MOM, FORMER PAGEANT QUEEN, 24 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:48,282 ALSO BAT-SHIT CRAZY. 25 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:49,117 AND FINALLY, 26 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,185 COLONEL FORCE, MY DAD, 27 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,587 THE GODFATHER OF AEROBICS. 28 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:54,755 GROWING UP, MY DAD TOOK 29 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,691 THIS SHIT WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. 30 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:01,262 >> WIN, OR DON'T COME HOME. 31 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,297 >> OUR NEXT CONTESTANT, 32 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:07,201 JOE FORCE! 33 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,436 >> WELL, I DIDN'T WIN, 34 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,239 SO I DIDN'T GO HOME. 35 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:14,508 EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN 36 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,843 >> I BECAME THE LEAD SINGER 37 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,578 OF GUNS VAN BOSES. 38 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,712 WE'RE AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS, 39 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:19,547 BAR MITZVAHS, 40 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,882 AND A MOM'S NIGHT OUT. 41 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:22,850 >> I LOVE YOU. 42 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,252 >> I WANNA TALK TO YOU LATER. 43 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:27,255 LIKE EVERY COWBOY 44 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:31,359 SINGS A SAD SAD SONG 45 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:35,396 EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN 46 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:38,732 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 47 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,268 WE'VE BEEN GUNS VAN BOSES. 48 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:40,734 WHO'S STICKIN' AROUND 49 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,869 FOR THE NEXT SET? 50 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:43,737 >> WE ARE! 51 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:44,538 >> WHOA, I GOT DROOPY YESSES, 52 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,374 RIGHT THERE, THANK YOU. 53 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,742 HEY, WHERE'S MY WHISKEY CHARLIE? 54 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:49,477 NICE. 55 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:50,411 >> LISTEN, KID, 56 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,246 YOUR MOM CALLED. 57 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,214 YOU DO REMEMBER YOUR DAD, 58 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,248 DON'T YOU? 59 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:55,249 >> A REPUBLICAN RICHARD SIMMONS. 60 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:56,450 HOW COULD I FORGET HIM? 61 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,485 >> YOU TWO WEREN'T VERY CLOSE, 62 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,319 WERE YOU? 63 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,188 >> NO, NO. 64 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,322 OUR ONLY CONTACT IS AN 65 00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,823 ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CARD WITH A, 66 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:03,824 UH, WEIGHT WATCHERS GIFT 67 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,826 CERTIFICATE AND A LIST 68 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,528 OF WORKOUT ROUTINES. 69 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,164 >> WELL, HE DIED. 70 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,299 >> WHAT? 71 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,666 HE DIED? 72 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,235 >> MOM SAID HIS TICKER GAVE OUT 73 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,236 WHILE HE WAS TEACHING 74 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,338 AN AEROBICS CLASS. 75 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,473 >> REPEAT AFTER ME: 76 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,242 CARDIO IS NOT A PLATE 77 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,511 OF MEXICAN FOOD. 78 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,246 >> CARDIO IS NOT A PLATE 79 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,381 OF MEXICAN FOOD. 80 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,882 >> CARDIO IS-- 81 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,552 >> CARDIO IS. 82 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,654 >> HEART'S ON FIRE. 83 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,423 >> HEART'S ON FIRE. 84 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,358 >> AH! 85 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,359 >> I TOLD HIM THAT FITNESS SHIT 86 00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,660 WOULD KILL HIM. 87 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,429 >> THOSE THINGS HAPPEN. 88 00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,199 >> HEY... 89 00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,234 I'VE BEEN THERE. 90 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,401 I KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE. 91 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:47,801 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE 92 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,537 GOIN' THROUGH. 93 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,405 LISTEN, YOU KNOW I'M LOOKIN' 94 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:52,773 FOR A PARTNER TO INVEST 95 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,343 IN MY BAKED POTATO BUFFET. 96 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,780 >> YOU JUST TOLD ME MY DAD DIED 97 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,649 AND YOU WANT ME TO PUT 98 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,950 MY INHERITANCE INTO 99 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:06,387 A BAKED POTATO BUFFET? 100 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,321 THANKS FOR THINKING OF ME, 101 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:11,392 BUT IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME. 102 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:11,892 HEY, CAN YOU PLAY 103 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:12,660 CAT'S IN THE CRADLE? 104 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,362 >> OKAY. 105 00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,631 LET'S GET PHYSICAL 106 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,467 PHYSICAL 107 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,439 >> MAN, THIS PLACE IS BIGGER 108 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,307 THAN TWO HOUSE CODES 109 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,408 PUT TOGETHER. 110 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:28,842 >> OH, MAN, I NEED A DRINK. 111 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,643 >> CAR BAR? 112 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:30,110 >> CAR BAR. 113 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:31,345 >> DRINK UP, BOYS. 114 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:31,779 WE'RE ONLY STAYIN' 115 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:32,880 FOR A FEW DAYS. 116 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:33,381 I'M GONNA FIND OUT 117 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:34,648 WHAT MY DAD LEFT ME. 118 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,849 SELL IT, AND THEN WE'RE-- 119 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,351 >> HITTIN' THE ROAD. 120 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:38,018 >> CHEERS TO THIS SHIT. 121 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,287 >> HEY. 122 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,554 OH, BY THE WAY, THIS IS 123 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,789 WEDDING BAND BEHAVIOR. 124 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:42,856 FOOD AND BOOZE, OPEN GAME. 125 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,024 HANDS OFF THE WOMEN. 126 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:44,325 >> MAN... 127 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:44,925 >> DUDE. 128 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:45,693 >> I'M STILL GETTIN' LAID. 129 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,193 >> YEAH. 130 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,261 >> SO HE REALLY WAS 131 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,829 A GREAT, GREAT LOSS. 132 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,399 THANK YOU, THOUGH. 133 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:54,001 >> HI, MOM. 134 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:54,868 AH! 135 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:55,503 >> THAT WAS FOR WEARING THAT 136 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,705 SHIRT, AND FOR NOT RETURNING 137 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,640 MY CALLS FOR THREE YEARS. 138 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,446 THAT'S FOR LOSING YOUR FATHER. 139 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,715 I'M SO SORRY, DARLING. 140 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,818 >> I'M SORRY TOO, MOM. 141 00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:11,752 >> A BIT FLABBY. 142 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,421 >> YEAH, LIFE OF A ROCK STAR. 143 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,655 >> WELL, ACTUALLY I THOUGHT 144 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,390 ROCK STARS WERE SKINNY 145 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,391 BECAUSE OF THE DRUGS. 146 00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,627 >> DONUTS ARE A DRUG. 147 00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:20,494 >> COME, THERE'S SOMETHING 148 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,996 YOU NEED TO SEE. 149 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,499 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. 150 00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,900 >> I'M COLONEL TOM FORCE, 151 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,336 AND THIS IS MY LAST WILL 152 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,903 AND TESTAMENT. 153 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,439 JANET, MY LOVE, 154 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,073 YOU MUST BE DEVASTATED. 155 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,442 >> HE KNEW ME SO WELL. 156 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,477 >> AS FOR YOU, MY DISGRACE 157 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,347 OF A SON, I KNEW YOU'D SHOW. 158 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,482 YOU WANT YOUR CUT. 159 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,485 >> HE KNEW YOU WELL TOO. 160 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,487 >> OUR NEXT CONTESTANT, 161 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,455 JOE FORCE! 162 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:48,322 >> HOW DID YOU PUT THIS 163 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,458 IN YOUR WILL? 164 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,396 >> DON'T LOOK AWAY, JOSEPH. 165 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,530 YOU CAN'T KEEP RUNNING 166 00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,466 FROM YOUR LEGACY. 167 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,034 BARRY CROSS, NOT ONLY DID HE 168 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,604 BEAT YOU, HE MARRIED CLAUDIA 169 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,005 AND STARTED A SUCCESSFUL 170 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,040 FITNESS BRAND. 171 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,041 >> I'M GETTING THE FEELING 172 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:08,942 I'M GONNA NEED TO BORROW 173 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,744 SOME GAS MONEY. 174 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,713 >> JANET, YOU GET THE HOUSE 175 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,783 AND A GENEROUS MONTHLY STIPEND. 176 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,918 JOE... 177 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,887 YOU GET THE GYM. 178 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,389 BUT MY HARD EARNED MONEY IS 179 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,492 GONNA HAVE TO BE EARNED HARDER. 180 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,059 THAT'S WHY I'M DONATING 181 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,929 YOUR $8 MILLION INHERITANCE 182 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,764 TO THE WINNING GYM 183 00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:31,865 OF THE COMPETITIVE 184 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,468 AEROBICS CHAMPIONSHIP. 185 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:36,470 >> WHAT!? 186 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:40,641 >> SELL THE GYM AND FINANCE 187 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,977 YOUR OWN DEMISE, OR MAN UP, 188 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,413 SHAVE YOUR LEGS, 189 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,114 PUT ON SPANDEX, 190 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,417 AND GO FOR THE GOLD. 191 00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,751 I BELIEVE THERE IS STILL 192 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,620 WINNERS BLOOD PUMPING THROUGH 193 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,822 THOSE CLOGGED ARTERIES. 194 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:00,994 >> SO WE HAVE THREE MONTHS 195 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:01,462 TO GET YOU BACK 196 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,863 INTO FINALS SHAPE. 197 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,399 TOUGH, BUT DOABLE. 198 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,467 >> ARE YOU SERIOUS? 199 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,668 YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA? 200 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,036 MOM, THIS IS CRAZY. 201 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:09,603 >> LOOK, YOUR FATHER AND I 202 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:11,004 MADE A PACT THAT WHOEVER 203 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,040 PASSED FIRST, THE OTHER ONE 204 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,174 WOULD DEDICATE THEMSELVES TO 205 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,076 GETTING YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK. 206 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,678 >> MY LIFE IS ON TRACK. 207 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,513 IT'S ONE BIG TRACK. 208 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:20,481 I PLAY AT PACKED HOUSES 209 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:22,516 EVERY NIGHT, WOMEN EVERYWHERE. 210 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,017 I AM NOT GIVING UP 211 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,919 MY MUSICAL CAREER FOR THIS SHIT. 212 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,555 >> IF YOU TRY TO SELL THE GYM 213 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,157 OR YOU RESIST GOING FOR GOLD, 214 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,892 I WILL BE FORCED TO USE 215 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,427 EVERY TOOL IN MY ARSENAL. 216 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:33,927 >> DO IT. 217 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:34,595 I DARE YOU. 218 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,696 I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE. 219 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:36,597 THAT'S WHY I LEFT. 220 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,699 I'M BULLETPROOF. 221 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,502 >> NOW YOU HAVE THE KEY 222 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,537 AND THE DEED TO THE GYM. 223 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:44,538 >> MOM, I KNOW YOU WANT ME 224 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:45,539 TO BE PATRICK SWAYZE, 225 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,840 BUT I'M NOT. 226 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,642 I'M AXL ROSE. 227 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:49,543 >> I WISH PATRICK SWAYZE 228 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,578 WAS MY SON. 229 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,179 >> PATRICK SWAYZE'S DEAD, MOM. 230 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:52,946 >> HE DIED, TOO. 231 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,515 >> YES. 232 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,684 >> OH, THIS IS THE WORST DAY 233 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,918 OF MY LIFE. 234 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,953 >> YEAH, JOIN THE CLUB. 235 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,791 >> REST IN PEACE, COLONEL. 236 00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,460 >> FIFTEEN YEARS. 237 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,170 >> CLAUDIA? 238 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:17,738 >> OH! 239 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,508 >> WOW, YOU LOOK GREAT. 240 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,975 >> I KNOW. 241 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:24,545 YOU LOOK... 242 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,680 LIKE YOU HAVE A GOOD STORY 243 00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:30,150 TO TELL OR SOMETHING. 244 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,151 >> I THINK I BROKE A RECORD. 245 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,886 HEY, WHERE'S JOE? 246 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,155 >> OH, UM... 247 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,558 >> HOLY! 248 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:38,025 HEY. 249 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,693 >> BARRY CROSS. 250 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,562 >> JOE HOPELESS, SHAPELESS 251 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,697 AND NOW FATHERLESS FORCE. 252 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:44,665 >> OKAY, THAT WAS, UH, 253 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,232 A LITTLE TOO FAR. 254 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:45,699 >> YEAH, WE'RE IN FRONT 255 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,834 OF HIS DEAD BODY. 256 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,502 >> I WAS JUST JOSHIN'. 257 00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,670 >> WHY ARE YOU HERE? 258 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:50,538 >> WE'RE HERE TO 259 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:51,204 PAY OUR RESPECTS 260 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,506 TO THE GODFATHER OF AEROBICS. 261 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,174 >> YEAH. 262 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,208 I-I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CASUAL 263 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,610 ATTIRE, BUT IT IS BLACK, 264 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:57,210 AND I WAS ABLE TO SQUEEZE 265 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,111 SOME CARDIO ON THE WAY IN, 266 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,513 SO NOT A TOTAL LOSS... 267 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,147 FOR ME. 268 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,750 I MEAN, THIS IS A LOSS. 269 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,085 IT'S A SAD MOMENT FOR-FOR YOU. 270 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:07,655 ANOTHER ONE. 271 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:08,321 SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR 272 00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:09,523 DAD'S GYM, BECAUSE I WANT IT. 273 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,090 >> GREAT, I DON'T. 274 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:10,691 YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. 275 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:11,625 >> GREAT, I WILL TAKE IT. 276 00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:12,192 >> I'LL SELL IT. 277 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:12,660 >> I'LL BUY IT FROM YOU. 278 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,260 >> YEAH, HOW MUCH? 279 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:13,827 >> WELL, WHEN YOU'RE DONE 280 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:14,194 GRIEVING, WE CAN DISCUSS 281 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,096 THIS MATTER. 282 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,264 >> OKAY, DONE GRIEVING. 283 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:17,765 WHAT'S YOUR OFFER? 284 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:18,999 >> OKAY, SLOW DOWN. 285 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,634 THIS IS A FUNERAL. 286 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:21,669 UM, FITNESS BY FORCE IS 287 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,070 IN A REALLY GREAT LOCATION. 288 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:23,737 >> YEAH. 289 00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,005 >> BUT WE-WE'LL PROBABLY TAKE 290 00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,807 A FEW HOURS TO PREP THE OFFER. 291 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,675 >> WE'RE GONNA FRANCHISE. 292 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,542 WE GOT BIG PLANS. 293 00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,009 >> YEAH, I DON'T CARE 294 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:29,509 ABOUT YOUR PLANS. 295 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,644 WHERE DO I FIND YOU? 296 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,278 >> OH, JUST LOOK FOR 297 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:31,745 THE BUILDING WITH PERFECTLY 298 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,946 SCULPTED PHYSIQUES 299 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:33,914 WALKING IN AND OUT. 300 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,618 331 METRICS AVENUE. 301 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,151 OKAY, IF YOU NEED TO 302 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:38,919 GET THERE, GOOGLE IT. 303 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,320 DO NOT USE APPLE MAPS. 304 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,289 >> SO GLAD YOU CAME. 305 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,323 >> YEAH, WE GOTTA GO. 306 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,124 >> I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. 307 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:44,524 >> AND FOR HOW MUCH 308 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,694 YOU'VE GAINED. 309 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:53,300 >> UM... 310 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,703 OKAY. 311 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,215 >> HAVE A GOOD WORKOUT. 312 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,184 I'M SORRY, SIR. 313 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,285 OUR PLUS SIZE TERMINAL 314 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,787 IS AT ANOTHER ADDRESS. 315 00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,722 >> TERMINAL? 316 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,189 >> ARE YOU OKAY? 317 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,358 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING. 318 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,193 MY DAD JUST DIED, AND I 319 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,194 MOVED BACK IN WITH MY MOM, 320 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:21,629 AND OUR RELATIONSHIP-- 321 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,863 >> PLEASE STOP. 322 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:23,496 WE DON'T DO NEGATIVE 323 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,932 DOWNLOADS AT OUR TERMINALS. 324 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,700 HAVE A FAKE DAY. 325 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,635 >> WE CALL THEM TERMINALS, 326 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:28,368 BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE 327 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,604 YOU PLUG IN TO TURN ON. 328 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:31,639 >> TERMINAL IS ALSO A WORD 329 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,272 USED TO DESCRIBE 330 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,774 LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESSES. 331 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:34,274 >> AND YOU'RE A WALKING 332 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,042 ANGIOPLASTY, BUT NO, 333 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,744 NO ILLNESS IN HERE. 334 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,745 OUR BODIES ARE TEMPLES, 335 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:38,812 AND TREATED AS SUCH. 336 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,614 >> MY BODIES A DIVE BAR. 337 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,815 EVERYBODY'S HAVING FUN 338 00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,083 AND MUCH BETTER STORIES. 339 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,652 >> GANDHI ONCE CLAIMED THAT HIS 340 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,686 SENSE OF HUMOR WAS THE ONLY 341 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:46,654 THING THAT PREVENTED HIM 342 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,788 FROM COMMITTING SUICIDE. 343 00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,288 >> I DON'T TRUST PEOPLE 344 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,156 THAT DON'T EAT. 345 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:49,790 >> INTERMITTENT FASTING IS 346 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,759 PHYSIOLOGICALLY BENEFICIAL. 347 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:52,826 >> YOU ARE SO BORING. 348 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,161 WILL YOU JUST SIGN THE CONTRACT? 349 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,395 >> YEAH, I'LL SIGN THE CONTRACT. 350 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:55,796 >> GOOD. 351 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:56,697 >> YEAH, GOOD. 352 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:57,264 >> GREAT. 353 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:57,731 >> WELL, GIVE ME A PEN. 354 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,098 >> OKAY, I WILL-- 355 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:58,699 >> YOU KNOW, 356 00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,132 I'M GONNA USE MY OWN PEN. 357 00:09:59,166 --> 00:09:59,733 >> GOOD FOR YOU. 358 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,769 >> I HAVE A SUPERIOR PEN. 359 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:02,169 >> I BET YOU DO. 360 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,103 >> OKAY. 361 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,805 >> WAIT, UM, DO I HAVE TO WALK, 362 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:05,305 OR DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, 363 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,808 A SCOOTER OR A TRAN? 364 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:11,078 NO, OKAY. 365 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,145 >> WELCOME... 366 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,947 TO THE FUTURE OF FITNESS. 367 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,849 METRIX WEARABLES, 368 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:16,316 THEY MONITOR YOUR 369 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,918 STATS AND VITALS. 370 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,853 EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE 371 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,254 IS PLUGGED INTO OUR CUSTOM AI 372 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,756 SOFTWARE THAT SENDS YOU 373 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,157 A DAILY WORKOUT REGIMEN. 374 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:28,762 >> THIS IS HILARIOUS. 375 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,097 YOU HAD TO CREATE ALL OF THIS 376 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:30,664 BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T 377 00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,166 GET LAID IN HIGH SCHOOL. 378 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,968 >> YOU PEAKED AT 17. 379 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:36,103 I'M STILL BLOSSOMING. 380 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,306 RAGE CYCLE. 381 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,340 ONE OF OUR MOST POPULAR 382 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:42,009 STRESS-RELIEVING CLASSES. 383 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:42,542 >> OH, YOU'RE GONNA 384 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,844 CUT ME OFF IN TRAFFIC. 385 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,678 NO, NO, NO, NO. 386 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:45,813 I'M GONNA CUT YOU OFF. 387 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,881 I'LL CUT YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OFF! 388 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:51,018 >> I BEAT OFF TO RELIEF STRESS. 389 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,185 DO YOU HAVE A CLASS FOR THAT? 390 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,787 >> THE DAOIST MASTERS REGARD 391 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:55,288 SEMINAL RETENTION AS 392 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,090 THE PATHWAY TO IMMORTALITY. 393 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,058 NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG, 394 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,893 CLAUDIA AND I BANG LIKE RABBITS. 395 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,361 BUT AT CLIMAX, RATHER THAN 396 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,363 SPILL IT, I REDISTRIBUTE 397 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,732 THE JING CHI ENERGY 398 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,399 THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BODY. 399 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:07,034 SEE, I'LL BE TOASTING 400 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,302 MY 125th BIRTHDAY WHILE YOU 401 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,738 SPLOOGED YOUR WAY 402 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,806 TO AN EARLY GRAVE. 403 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,108 >> YOU DON'T JIZZ? 404 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:16,910 >> NOT EVERY WOMAN 405 00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:20,047 WANTS TO HAVE KIDS, MOM! 406 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:20,781 >> AND OUR MOST 407 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,116 ADVANCED FEATURE, 408 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,753 FACIAL RECOGNITION MIRRORS. 409 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:26,920 THEY SCAN YOUR FACE, 410 00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:28,055 FIND YOUR MOST POPULAR SOCIAL 411 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,823 MEDIA POST, AND MOUNT IT 412 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,091 ON THE SCREEN. 413 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,225 WANNA TRY IT? 414 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:33,426 >> NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. 415 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,928 I ACTUALLY TALK TO REAL PEOPLE. 416 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:35,763 >> WELL, THAT'S THE DEFINITION 417 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:36,797 OF SOCIAL MEDIA. 418 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:37,264 COME ON, LET'S SEE WHAT 419 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:37,630 YOU'VE BEEN UP TO. 420 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,832 STAND THERE, 421 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,068 LOOK LIKE A MARSHMALLOW. 422 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,335 >> SEE, NOTHING. 423 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,771 I'M OFF THE GRID. 424 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,406 >> EVERYBODY IS IN THE METRIX. 425 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,777 >> MATCH FOUND, JOE FORCE. 426 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:54,948 >> ANOTHER CLASSIC 427 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,149 JOE FORCE STAGE FAIL. 428 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:56,950 YOU SHOULD REALLY START 429 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:58,351 CHARGING FOR THESE. 430 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,887 DICTATION, POST TO ALL 431 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,421 SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS. 432 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,890 OLD RIVAL FALLING ON 433 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,325 HARD/SOFT TIMES. 434 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,996 #WHOOPS, #DONUTDIET. 435 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,430 >> STATUS POSTED ACROSS 436 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,533 ALL SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS. 437 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,068 >> ARE YOU READY TO TALK TERMS? 438 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,169 THAT'S WHAT BUSINESSMEN SAY 439 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,270 TO EACH OTHER WHEN THEY'RE 440 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,806 ABOUT TO NEGOTIATE A DEAL. 441 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,272 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 442 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,107 SCREW YOU, BARRY. 443 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:20,908 I'M NOT LETTING YOU TURN 444 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:21,408 MY DAD'S GYM INTO 445 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,243 SOME FITNESS CULT. 446 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:23,844 >> WELL, I'D SAY YOU'RE 447 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:24,878 ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST 448 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:25,445 MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE, 449 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,914 BUT I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU. 450 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,048 >> I HATED MY DAD, 451 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:31,518 BUT NOT THIS MUCH. 452 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:32,085 >> WELL, HEY, DON'T FORGET 453 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,386 TO GRAB A SUPERABSORBENT 454 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,288 METRIX T-SHIRT ON YOUR WAY OUT. 455 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:35,923 THEY'RE AVAILABLE IN TRIPLE 456 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,057 SMALL, DOUBLE SMALL AND OUR 457 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,426 PLUS SIZE, KIDS MEDIUM. 458 00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,903 >> JOE, THERE WERE TWO PLACES 459 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:50,871 YOU WOULD RUN OFF TO 460 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,439 WHEN YOU FEELING DOWN. 461 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,375 THE CHINESE BUFFET IS CLOSED. 462 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,911 >> DON'T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME. 463 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,983 YOU BROKE MY HEART. 464 00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,017 YOU LEFT ME RIGHT AFTER 465 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,987 I LOST THE FINALS, AND... 466 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,122 WE NEVER EVEN BROKE UP. 467 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,190 YOU GHOSTED ME BEFORE 468 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:11,892 GHOSTING WAS A THING. 469 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:12,559 THEN YOU MARRIED 470 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,361 DINGLE-BARRY AND STARTED A GYM 471 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:15,963 THAT TURNS PEOPLE INTO ROBOTS. 472 00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:16,496 >> OKAY, JOE-- 473 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:17,130 >> THEY'RE ROBOTS! 474 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,032 >> JOE, I REGRET LEAVING YOU 475 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:21,001 LIKE THAT, I REALLY DO. 476 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,002 BUT I DON'T REGRET THE REST 477 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,937 OF MY LIFE DECISIONS. 478 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:26,874 >> YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS 479 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,008 FOR ME, DON'T YOU? 480 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,877 >> NO. 481 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,079 UH, SYMPATHY, MAYBE. 482 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,413 ALL I'M ASKING IS THAT YOU 483 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,015 JUST THINK ABOUT MAKING A DEAL 484 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:35,582 BEFORE YOU GO OFF AND 485 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,084 DO SOMETHING RASH, OKAY? 486 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:37,750 >> I'VE ALREADY DECIDED 487 00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,252 I'M JUST GONNA LET IT FILL UP 488 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:40,387 WITH TRANSIENT SQUATTERS 489 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:41,855 AND TURN INTO A SOUP KITCHEN. 490 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:42,856 >> THAT'S GREAT. 491 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:43,490 WHEN YOUR SOUP KITCHEN FALLS 492 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,892 THROUGH, WE'LL BE HERE 493 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,227 READY WITH THE CHECK. 494 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,863 AND YOU KNOW OUR GYM IS 495 00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,899 ALREADY FULL OF SQUATTERS, 496 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,333 BUT THEY'RE LIKE... 497 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,369 THE GOOD KIND. 498 00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,571 BYE. 499 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,041 >> DAMN. 500 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:16,656 YOU'RE A MEAN OLD BASTARD, 501 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,927 BUT YOU ALWAYS... 502 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,095 WERE A MEAN OLD BASTARD. 503 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,633 "YOU'RE A DISGRACE." 504 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,102 OH, WELL, THANK YOU DAD. 505 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:31,171 YOU OLD PERVERT. 506 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:31,671 YOU LIKED IT WHEN PEOPLE 507 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,373 LOOKED AT YOUR DONG. 508 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,275 LOOK AT THAT, YOUR BIG DICK. 509 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,612 THAT'S ONE THING YOU GAVE ME. 510 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:45,152 OH, I HOPE I DIE TONIGHT. 511 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,073 >> TELL ME YOU DIDN'T 512 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,107 SELL THE GYM. 513 00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:07,707 >> I TRIED. 514 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,542 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 515 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,278 DON'T JUDGE ME. 516 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,980 I ENDED UP THIS WAY BECAUSE 517 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,014 HE WAS A TERRIBLE FATHER 518 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:14,614 WHO FORCED ME TO 519 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,715 DO EVERYTHING HIS WAY. 520 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,151 >> YEAH, THE RIGHT WAY. 521 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,187 FITNESS BY FORCE WAY. 522 00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,090 >> I'M SO CONFUSED. 523 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:23,523 EVERYONE'S TAKING 524 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:24,424 ADVANTAGE OF ME. 525 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,993 >> NOT ME, I'M DIFFERENT. 526 00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,094 I'M YOUR MUM. 527 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:27,727 AND HAVING YOU BACK'S MADE ME 528 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,429 REALIZE WHAT'S IMPORTANT. 529 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,231 YOU, BUT THIS IS 530 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,165 NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. 531 00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,101 >> GOOD, 'CAUSE THERE'S NO WAY 532 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,068 I CAN WIN THAT COMPETITION. 533 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,103 >> WHO CARES? 534 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,171 I GOT MY BABY BOY BACK. 535 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:41,174 >> OH. 536 00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,642 >> OH. 537 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,977 YOU STILL GOT SOME, UH, 538 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,079 SOLID MUSCLE UNDER THAT. 539 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,014 WHAT SIZE UNITARD ARE YOU 540 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,015 WEARING THESE DAYS? 541 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,116 >> THIS IS ABOUT THE MONEY. 542 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:49,749 >> I JUST THOUGHT YOU COULD 543 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,317 GIVE IT A SHOT. 544 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,185 >> I AM DONE WITH THIS. 545 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,153 I WASN'T GONNA SELL THIS PLACE, 546 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,121 BUT IF EVERYBODY ELSE 547 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:54,754 IS OUT FOR THEMSELVES, 548 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,157 I AM TOO. 549 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,264 >> DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. 550 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,966 HE'S YOUR SON. 551 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,502 > BODY FAT INDEX, 13%, 552 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,372 NOW 15%. 553 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,740 >> OOH, I'M DETECTING SOME 554 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,142 FAT DEPOSITS, WHICH MAY 555 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,043 PRESENT SOME UNFLATTERING 556 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,177 CAMERA ANGLES. 557 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:17,710 >> WHAT? 558 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:18,711 >> 20%. 559 00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:19,446 >> SHIT, MUST'VE BEEN THAT 560 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,180 GOJI BERRY SMOOTHIE 561 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,181 I HAD LAST WEEK. 562 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:21,848 >> MMM... 563 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,151 >> ZERO NET CARBS, MY FAT ASS. 564 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,154 >> BARRY, WE NEED TO TALK. 565 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,190 >> CROSS CONTROL, DOOR OPEN. 566 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,158 OKAY, IT'S COOL THAT IT OPENS, 567 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,225 BUT WE NEED A SNAZZIER CUE. 568 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:32,525 >> OKAY. 569 00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,460 >> YEAH. 570 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,594 IS THAT THE SAME SHITTY SHIRT 571 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,128 YOU WORE YESTERDAY, 572 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,096 OR A NEW SHITTY SHIRT? 573 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:36,729 IT LOOKS MORE YELLOW. 574 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,198 >> UH, I HAD A ROUGH NIGHT. 575 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,632 UM, I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR 576 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,101 DIFFERENCES, BUT I, UH, 577 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,169 REALLY JUST NEED TO SELL 578 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,070 MY DAD'S GYM SO I CAN 579 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,204 TAKE MY BAND ON TOUR. 580 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,738 >> OH, YEAH, YEAH, NO. 581 00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:46,573 YEAH, WE'RE NOT INTERESTED 582 00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:47,707 IN ACQUIRING YOUR SHITTY 583 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,309 SWEATBOX ANYMORE. 584 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,477 >> YOU WANTED IT YESTERDAY. 585 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,079 >> YOUR MOMMY CALLED, 586 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:52,712 AND THE METRIX NO LONGER 587 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:53,746 WANTS YOUR SHIT GYM BECAUSE 588 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:54,281 WE WANNA GO AFTER 589 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,117 YOUR DAD'S 8 MILLION. 590 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,786 >> JANET TOLD US ABOUT THE WILL. 591 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:00,353 AND THEN SHE CALLED ME 592 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,155 A MONEY HUNGRY TROLLOP. 593 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,124 SHE MADE IT PERSONAL. 594 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,293 >> YOU MESS WITH THE QUEEN, 595 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,161 YOU GET THE KING. 596 00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:08,795 IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT 597 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,631 OF RETIREMENT. 598 00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,100 >> GREAT. 599 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:13,500 HEY, HOW DO I GET UP 600 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,167 ONTO THE ROOF? 601 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,835 I, UM, I NEED TO KILL MYSELF. 602 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,170 >> OH, NO, THAT'S A LIABILITY. 603 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,138 WE CAN'T HAVE THAT HERE. 604 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,106 THERE'S A ROOF ACROSS 605 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,273 THE PARKING LOT. 606 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,541 >> LISTEN, PAL, IF YOU 607 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,476 AND YOUR SHIT GYM HAPPEN TO 608 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:24,311 STILL BE AROUND BY THE TIME 609 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,512 I WIN THE AEROBICS FINALS, 610 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,214 I WILL BUY IT BACK FROM YOU 611 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,216 WITH YOUR DAD'S MONEY. 612 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,184 >> BARRY, I THINK HE'S BEEN 613 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,819 THROUGH ENOUGH, RIGHT? 614 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,087 LET'S JUST BY THE DAMN GYM 615 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:34,621 AND THEN ELIMINATE HIM 616 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,123 FROM THE COMPETITION. 617 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:36,623 THAT WAY WE DON'T HAVE TO 618 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:37,657 DEAL WITH HIM LATER. 619 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,292 >> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 620 00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:39,826 >> YOU STRUCK A SENTIMENTAL 621 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:40,760 CHORD WITH MY WIFE. 622 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,661 THAT'S VERY RARE. 623 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:42,162 >> YEAH, THAT'S 'CAUSE 624 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,330 I USED TO PLOW HER. 625 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:43,996 >> OH. 626 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,298 >> BUT THE ANSWER IS SHIT NO. 627 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:46,199 CROSS CONTROL, 628 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,567 CUE SAD EXIT MUSIC. 629 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:49,836 YES, THAT CUE I LIKE. 630 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,403 >> OKAY. 631 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,504 >> YEAH, SAVE THAT ONE. 632 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,140 >> EAT MY ASS, DINGLE-BARRY. 633 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:53,840 CROSS CONTROL, 634 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,442 ORDER A MILLION DILDOS. 635 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,709 >> NO, NO! 636 00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,377 >> ORDER CONFIRMED. 637 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:57,910 >> CANCEL THE MILLION DILDOS. 638 00:17:57,944 --> 00:17:59,279 >> NEXT DAY DELIVERY. 639 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,847 >> NO NEED FOR A MILLION DILDOS. 640 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,415 >> PRETTY HANDSOME, ISN'T HE? 641 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,316 >> PACK UP YOUR GEAR, BOYS. 642 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:03,716 WE ARE GETTING OUT 643 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,118 OF HERE FOR... 644 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,753 GOOD-- OH, SHIT. 645 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,821 JANET TOLD YOU TOO. 646 00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:09,389 YOU JUST HAD TO TURN THEM 647 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,191 AGAINST ME, DIDN'T YOU? 648 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,192 LET ME GUESS, YOU GUYS WANT ME 649 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,160 TO GO FOR THE GOLD. 650 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,327 YEAH, YEAH, I GET IT. 651 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,129 WHY GO ON TOUR FOR THOUSANDS 652 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,197 WHEN I CAN WIN MILLIONS 653 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:17,797 AND FUND ALL OF OUR 654 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,132 ROCK STAR FANTASIES. 655 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:20,667 YEAH, SURE, FINE, I'LL DO IT. 656 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,602 BUT I WILL THIS UP 657 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,671 ON MY OWN BEFORE I LISTEN 658 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:25,605 TO MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES 659 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,773 BY THREE DRUNK TROLLS 660 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,341 AND A GODDAMN PAGEANT BANSHEE. 661 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:29,309 GET IN THE CAR, BOYS! 662 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,277 THE JOE FORCE SHIT SHOW 663 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,512 COMEBACK TOUR BEGINS. 664 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:32,979 >> WHAT MONEY IS 665 00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:35,315 HE TALKIN' ABOUT? 666 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,661 >> BARRY CROSS, 667 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:51,731 GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE. 668 00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:52,632 >> RED CROSS ALERT. 669 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,667 WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 670 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,266 WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE 671 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:29,469 AND WHERE ARE ALL THE GODS 672 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:32,339 WHERE'S THE STREETWISE HERCULES 673 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:36,243 TO FIGHT THE RISING ODDS 674 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,745 ISN'T THERE A WHITE KNIGHT 675 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,613 UPON A FIERY STEED 676 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,282 >> NO, NO DANCING OUT HERE. 677 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:43,750 NO, NO, STOP. 678 00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,385 LATE AT NIGHT I TOSS AND I TURN 679 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,954 AND I DREAM OF WHAT I NEED 680 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,622 I NEED A HERO-- 681 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:53,360 >> AWW! 682 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,794 >> UGH. 683 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:55,228 YOU GUYS HAD FUN 684 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,496 OUT HERE TODAY? 685 00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,766 WELL, IT'S GONNA BE LIKE THIS 686 00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:01,801 EVERYDAY AT FITNESS BY FORCE, 687 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:02,602 SO COME ON DOWN 688 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:03,770 AND ROCK WITH US. 689 00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:04,804 EVERYONE IS WELCOME. 690 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:05,305 >> UH, YEAH, NO. 691 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,339 NOBODY'S GONNA JOIN 692 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:07,474 YOUR EGALITARIAN GYM. 693 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,475 GROSS! 694 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,410 IMAGINE THE SHOWERS. 695 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:11,311 >> THEY WILL JOIN MY GYM, 696 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,945 AND WE WILL BEAT YOU 697 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,247 IN THE AEROBICS FINALS. 698 00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,848 >> OOH! 699 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:16,283 >> YOU'RE SAYING YOUR GYM 700 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,484 CAN BEAT MY GYM? 701 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,353 >> OOH! 702 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,988 >> IT'S TIME FOR A REMATCH. 703 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,356 >> OH-OH! 704 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,658 >> I GOT THE GYM, THE GIRL, 705 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:27,627 AND THE BODY OF A GREEK GOD. 706 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,628 >> OOH! 707 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,730 >> WELL, I GOT MY GYM, 708 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,700 MY BAND, AND... 709 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,368 >> ME! 710 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:39,372 >> MY MOM. 711 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,007 >> YEAH! 712 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,377 >> YOU'RE A NOBODY! 713 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:44,911 >> I CAN'T HEAR YOU. 714 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,412 >> I'M GONNA MAKE SURE 715 00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:46,546 THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS 716 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,415 YOU'RE A NOBODY AGAIN. 717 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,850 I NEED A HERO 718 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,419 I'M HOLDING ON FOR A HERO 719 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,854 TIL THE END OF THE NIGHT 720 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,523 AND HE'S GOTTA BE STRONG 721 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,358 AND HE'S GOTTA BE FAST 722 00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,626 AND HE'S GOTTA BE FRESH 723 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,328 FROM THE FIGHT 724 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,663 I NEED A HERO 725 00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,498 I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO 726 00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:08,301 TIL THE MORNING LIGHT 727 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,775 I NEED A HERO 728 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:23,583 >> OH... 729 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,952 >> THAT USUALLY GETS APPLAUSE. 730 00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,355 >> OH... 731 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:32,625 >> OH. 732 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,361 >> TAKE A GOOD LOOK, BARRY. 733 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:35,862 YOU MAY HAVE THE BRAINS, 734 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:39,366 BUT MY SON HAS THE BALLS. 735 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:45,372 >> ON THE NEXT 736 00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:46,806 "LET'S GET PHYSICAL"... 737 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,341 >> I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU 738 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,642 FOR SLEEPING WITH MY BAND. 739 00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:50,343 >> DON'T CUT ME. 740 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,111 I'VE WANTED THIS MY WHOLE LIFE. 741 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:52,879 >> YOU JUST STARTED THE TEAM 742 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:53,446 LAST NIGHT. 743 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,348 >> BINGO, A CRYING GIRL. 744 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,048 MY SPECIALTY. 745 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:56,549 >> HOW CAN YOU BE SWEATING 746 00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:57,717 JUST STANDING THERE? 747 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,085 >> I'M WEARIN' A JEAN JACKET. 748 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,553 LOOKIN' FOR DANCERS. 749 00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:01,053 >> THAT'S HOW 750 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:02,121 WE WIN DAD'S MONEY. 751 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,556 TRUST, TEAMWORK, 752 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:06,092 AND A WHOLE LOT OF FLAIR. 753 00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:07,326 >> GRANDMA'S HOUSE. 45746

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