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♪ Previously on BrainDead... ♪
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♪ Previously on Gunsmoke... ♪
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Oh, I like him.
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- You do?
- Yeah, the new intern.
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Jewish kid, right?
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- Hey, Gary, are you Jewish?
- Half-Jewish.
7
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What happened to the other half?
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But, seriously, I'm a friend
of the Jewish people.
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I swam in the Red Sea,
I touched the cobblestones
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where our Lord and savior knelt.
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Have you met my chief of staff Gareth?
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Yes.
I mean, no.
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Well, Gary the Intern, meet Gareth.
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Gareth, Gary, Gary, Gareth.
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It's a good thing
he's not afraid of the rumors, huh?
16
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I... what rumors?
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All the interns in my
office dying horribly.
18
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It's all just a bad coincidence.
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I'm sure you'll break the curse.
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Hey, it's good to have you on board.
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Let's give them hell.
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Senator, do you want me to work
up a statement on the war vote?
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No.
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What do you mean?
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About losing the war vote.
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We've been getting
calls for a statement.
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We didn't lose the war vote, buddy.
28
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- We didn't?
- No.
29
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We just need to redefine
"winning."
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What happened was winning.
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It was?
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Ah.
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Go to Room SRB-54, all right?
It's downstairs.
34
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That's the room you were
upset about for a while.
35
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I want you to pick up something.
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Tell them...
we're ready to release it.
37
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Release what?
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It.
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And, uh, set up a press conference
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for me for tomorrow.
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Senator,
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do you still trust me?
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Do I...?
Of course I do.
44
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- Why?
- You just seem to be making moves
45
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that I don't understand.
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Gareth, buddy.
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You... you are my tonic.
48
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Y-You are my ballast.
49
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Whenever I go too far, I look to you
50
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to help straighten me out.
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That's trust.
52
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Let's get crackin'.
53
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All right?
The world needs saving.
54
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You are so cute.
55
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Yes, you are.
56
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You know you are.
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Yeah.
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Oh, what a bad girl you are.
59
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Okay.
60
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You want, you want some flowers?
61
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Here you go.
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All right, come on.
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Come on, push.
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You can do it, baby.
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Push, push.
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Oh, yes.
67
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For Red Wheatus?
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This is a bipartisan budget.
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As many around Washington
were pointing fingers,
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we pulled up our shirt sleeves.
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And this is the result.
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We have the agreement
of Majority Leader Amarant
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to bring this to a committee
vote in 48 hours.
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- We can get things done in Washington.
- You're kidding me. 48 hours?
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I can't be seen as an obstructionist.
76
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This was negotiated by one
of yours and one of mine.
77
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Yes, Ella, but they're in bed together.
78
00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:55,018
- What?
- No, not literally.
79
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Political bed together.
Don't you see what they've done?
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They've brought together
the extreme left
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and the extreme right.
82
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They negotiated this in secret.
83
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- Who knows what the hell's in it?
- Oh, you know what's in it.
84
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It's the same thing
that's always in it... pork.
85
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She gave him military.
He gave her health care.
86
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And we're all gonna
be unhappy and happy
87
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- in the same proportion.
- God is in the details, Senator.
88
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God is always in the details.
89
00:05:16,553 --> 00:05:17,886
- Now, push this vote off.
- I can't.
90
00:05:17,911 --> 00:05:20,478
I got friggin' One Wayers at my door.
91
00:05:20,948 --> 00:05:23,783
Look, if you find something
objectionable in here,
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I'll delay the vote.
93
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There's always something objectionable.
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You have 48 hours.
95
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What do you need?
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Everyone.
97
00:05:36,162 --> 00:05:37,093
Now?
98
00:05:37,118 --> 00:05:39,746
Yes, now!
I need everyone now!
99
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You okay?
100
00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:45,559
Yeah, just sick of it.
101
00:05:45,918 --> 00:05:48,073
- What?
- The gamesmanship.
102
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,668
The stupid moronic tribalism
103
00:05:50,693 --> 00:05:52,387
of congress. The dirty tricks.
104
00:05:52,412 --> 00:05:55,489
You can't take one step forward
without taking ten steps back.
105
00:05:55,691 --> 00:05:57,684
- You're helping people.
- No, I'm not!
106
00:05:57,803 --> 00:06:00,129
I'd do better opening a lemonade stand.
107
00:06:05,692 --> 00:06:06,785
It's okay.
108
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Go.
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Get everyone.
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Listen up!
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This is not a budget.
112
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This is a field of land mines.
113
00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:19,192
Now, we don't know how many there are.
114
00:06:19,243 --> 00:06:20,653
But we do know they are there.
115
00:06:20,678 --> 00:06:22,912
Or they would have sent out
a searchable PDF.
116
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They're hiding something,
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and they don't want us to find it.
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So here's your mission.
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You have 48 hours to cross this field
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and find those land mines.
121
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And you're doing it
the old-fashioned way.
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This is for team number one.
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Page one through 368.
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Michael, you take charge of it.
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Read every word, sentence,
and paragraph.
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You have 48 hours.
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00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:47,413
This is for team number two.
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00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:50,472
Page 369 to 712.
129
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,230
Laurel, you take charge of it.
Keep me up to date.
130
00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:55,520
Now, I don't want just
a-a superficial look.
131
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,262
I want a...
132
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Okay.
133
00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:05,190
You guys split up the rest
of the budget.
134
00:07:05,223 --> 00:07:06,090
And get going.
135
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Go!
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You're running an excellent
campaign, gentlemen.
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Good convention.
138
00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:21,785
- Thank you.
- That's why we're here.
139
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,787
We need to count our chickens
before they're hatched.
140
00:07:23,996 --> 00:07:26,098
Oh, makes sense.
What chickens?
141
00:07:26,123 --> 00:07:28,645
We're pre-vetting candidates
for the next administration.
142
00:07:28,829 --> 00:07:30,696
You understand we have to start early,
143
00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,496
what with polls being what they are,
144
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and we don't want to be presumptuous,
145
00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:36,606
but we have to know
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00:07:36,671 --> 00:07:39,340
the talent can clear
the advise-and-consent hurdle.
147
00:07:39,365 --> 00:07:40,864
You're asking me for suggestions?
148
00:07:40,889 --> 00:07:42,788
No, we want you to
consider being vetted.
149
00:07:44,345 --> 00:07:45,575
For?
150
00:07:46,645 --> 00:07:48,300
Director of the CIA.
151
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,200
Y-You want me?
152
00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:54,925
We want to vet you, yeah.
153
00:07:55,339 --> 00:07:57,534
You have been very impressive
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on the Select Intelligence Committee.
155
00:07:59,989 --> 00:08:01,787
- Thank you.
- No, thank you.
156
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:03,312
For your service to the country.
157
00:08:03,645 --> 00:08:06,479
Now, if you agree, we'll need
to vet you fairly quickly.
158
00:08:06,504 --> 00:08:07,995
Candidate needs viable names
159
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,160
by the end of the week.
160
00:08:12,944 --> 00:08:15,646
Well, for the good of the country
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and our party,
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yes, I agree.
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Good.
Then we'll be expediting this.
164
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Please keep it completely confidential.
165
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The last thing that the campaign needs
166
00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:28,227
is an accusation of being presumptuous.
167
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Good.
168
00:08:29,997 --> 00:08:32,106
- Thank you, gentlemen.
- Thank you.
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00:08:32,668 --> 00:08:33,675
Thank you.
170
00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:43,817
Yeah!
171
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They want me to head up the CIA.
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They... what?
173
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I know.
174
00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:55,385
Wait, who does?
175
00:08:56,004 --> 00:08:58,021
The campaign.
If they win.
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They were with
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- the transition team.
- Oh, my God.
178
00:09:00,935 --> 00:09:02,437
I know. It's amazing.
179
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Congratulations.
180
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:05,489
Oh, it's not done yet.
181
00:09:05,627 --> 00:09:07,558
Like, I'm worried
about the vetting process.
182
00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:09,128
I have a lot of enemies out there.
183
00:09:09,153 --> 00:09:10,620
Yeah, but most of your
enemies would be happy
184
00:09:10,622 --> 00:09:12,059
to get you out of the senate.
185
00:09:12,732 --> 00:09:13,942
That's a good point.
186
00:09:14,844 --> 00:09:16,377
Yeah, but they won't know
what the vetting's for.
187
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- No one's supposed to know.
- No one's supposed to know
188
00:09:18,293 --> 00:09:20,075
- about the CIA offer?
- Right.
189
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,828
Yeah, they don't want to be seen
as presumptuous.
190
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,239
But you just told me.
191
00:09:25,207 --> 00:09:26,971
Yeah, but you're my sister.
192
00:09:26,996 --> 00:09:28,190
You can't be telling me this, Luke,
193
00:09:28,215 --> 00:09:29,936
That's kind of the bare minimum.
194
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Don't tell anyone else, okay?
195
00:09:34,785 --> 00:09:35,903
Hello?
196
00:09:36,399 --> 00:09:38,533
Hi. Are you all right?
You sound...
197
00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:39,645
Yeah.
198
00:09:39,670 --> 00:09:40,869
What are you doing right now?
199
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,825
Nothing.
200
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,606
- Can I meet you?
- Sure, where?
201
00:09:45,779 --> 00:09:48,676
Yeah, this is good,
but, uh, shorter words.
202
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:49,739
I'll call you back.
203
00:09:49,912 --> 00:09:51,917
You make me sound like
204
00:09:51,942 --> 00:09:53,192
a Harvard grad.
205
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,450
Was that your girlfriend?
206
00:09:54,475 --> 00:09:55,774
On the phone?
No.
207
00:09:55,799 --> 00:09:57,465
I-I mean, she's
not my girlfriend.
208
00:09:57,586 --> 00:09:59,129
Go ahead.
209
00:10:02,332 --> 00:10:04,701
Gareth, how are you today?
210
00:10:04,726 --> 00:10:06,077
You're looking ill.
211
00:10:06,646 --> 00:10:08,074
No, I'm good.
212
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,340
You're a little warm.
213
00:10:18,506 --> 00:10:19,621
You sure?
214
00:10:21,581 --> 00:10:23,682
It's the summer heat, Senator.
215
00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,389
Ah, right.
216
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:29,027
Are we still rowing together, buddy?
217
00:10:31,942 --> 00:10:34,535
I think we are, Senator.
218
00:10:34,976 --> 00:10:36,238
Really?
219
00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:44,324
Good!
Again,
220
00:10:44,349 --> 00:10:45,649
good speech,
221
00:10:45,674 --> 00:10:46,949
but I want punchy words.
222
00:10:46,974 --> 00:10:48,974
You and I know what "transactional" is,
223
00:10:48,999 --> 00:10:50,410
but nobody else does.
224
00:10:50,470 --> 00:10:51,543
Okay?
225
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,051
Let's get on it.
226
00:11:13,777 --> 00:11:14,823
Hi.
227
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,113
Hi.
228
00:11:17,723 --> 00:11:18,934
I'm glad you called.
229
00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:20,492
Can I ask you a question?
230
00:11:20,824 --> 00:11:22,468
You can ask me anything you want.
231
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:23,904
No, I'm sorry. Y-You first.
232
00:11:24,227 --> 00:11:25,848
No, no. You go.
Mine's...
233
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,128
too weird.
234
00:11:28,534 --> 00:11:29,731
Okay.
235
00:11:30,345 --> 00:11:32,362
What's your boss doing
with this budget?
236
00:11:33,589 --> 00:11:35,119
I don't know.
What do you mean?
237
00:11:35,144 --> 00:11:37,043
Should I be aware
of something hidden in it?
238
00:11:37,894 --> 00:11:39,436
I don't know.
239
00:11:39,876 --> 00:11:41,106
Maybe.
240
00:11:41,143 --> 00:11:42,588
I don't know. I...
241
00:11:46,302 --> 00:11:47,348
Okay.
242
00:11:48,091 --> 00:11:49,524
Your turn. What is it?
243
00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:52,502
I, uh...
244
00:11:55,078 --> 00:11:56,577
This bug stuff.
245
00:11:56,658 --> 00:11:58,157
Tell me more about it.
246
00:12:01,959 --> 00:12:03,535
Because I saw something.
247
00:12:07,613 --> 00:12:10,000
S01E11
248
00:12:10,025 --> 00:12:12,645
Synced and corrected
by LittleDuck and vivelalto
www.addic7ed.com
249
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,231
I didn't see this.
250
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:25,074
You told me there were bugs
in people's heads.
251
00:12:25,099 --> 00:12:26,699
Yeah, but not these bugs.
252
00:12:26,724 --> 00:12:28,027
Are...
253
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:29,467
are you sure you saw this?
254
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,496
I don't know.
I'm not sure what...
255
00:12:34,978 --> 00:12:36,949
I'm not sure what I saw anymore.
256
00:12:36,974 --> 00:12:38,363
And how big was it?
257
00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:41,557
Seriously?
258
00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:43,001
Yeah.
259
00:12:43,606 --> 00:12:45,567
And that went in Red's head?
260
00:12:45,956 --> 00:12:46,979
Yeah.
261
00:12:47,798 --> 00:12:49,264
This is insane.
262
00:12:49,683 --> 00:12:50,809
I don't like things
263
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:51,973
that are this insane.
264
00:12:51,998 --> 00:12:53,497
Yeah, I know, you'll get used to it.
265
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:55,155
I just thought this was some kind of
266
00:12:55,706 --> 00:12:57,639
charming bohemian affectation
of yours, you know?
267
00:12:57,641 --> 00:12:59,286
You seeing bugs.
I didn't want it to be
268
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:01,504
a charming affectation of...
mine.
269
00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:05,667
This is much bigger
than any of the bugs
270
00:13:05,692 --> 00:13:07,090
- I've seen.
- You know, it was smaller
271
00:13:07,115 --> 00:13:08,519
once it dropped its eggs.
272
00:13:09,762 --> 00:13:11,535
- Its eggs?
- Yeah.
273
00:13:13,107 --> 00:13:14,273
That's what it looked like.
274
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,738
- Let's go.
- Why?
275
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:17,296
We have to show this to someone.
276
00:13:17,569 --> 00:13:18,871
What is this about again?
277
00:13:18,896 --> 00:13:20,223
Uh, security clearance,
278
00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:21,817
just for his work on
the Intelligence Committee.
279
00:13:21,865 --> 00:13:23,848
Uh, was Senator Healy a tough boss?
280
00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:25,199
Luke?
281
00:13:25,527 --> 00:13:27,397
Not really. I mean,
282
00:13:27,442 --> 00:13:29,586
he never hit me or called me names.
283
00:13:30,598 --> 00:13:32,481
What about his managerial style?
284
00:13:33,165 --> 00:13:34,715
Was he responsive to his staff?
285
00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:35,973
Oh, yeah.
286
00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:37,020
He's responsive.
287
00:13:37,045 --> 00:13:38,809
Luke really listens.
288
00:13:38,999 --> 00:13:40,197
When I used our safe word...
289
00:13:40,222 --> 00:13:42,419
And believe me, there were
plenty of times I had to...
290
00:13:42,426 --> 00:13:44,418
I only had to say it once.
291
00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:46,091
Oh.
292
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,645
I thought you were gonna ask
about all the affairs.
293
00:13:49,507 --> 00:13:50,785
What affairs?
294
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,715
Well, just so you know,
295
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,793
I've come to accept Luke for who he is.
296
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,274
Yes, there were the years of lying,
297
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,104
but I just wish...
298
00:14:00,769 --> 00:14:02,203
Would you excuse me?
299
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:06,637
Affairs.
300
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:08,559
That's gonna make
a hearing a nightmare.
301
00:14:08,584 --> 00:14:09,698
I know.
302
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:10,988
Let's talk to Healy again.
303
00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:12,480
We need to hear his side.
304
00:14:13,964 --> 00:14:15,395
It's the queen, isn't it?
305
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,192
I don't know.
306
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,293
Where did you see it?
307
00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:22,096
Okay, let me just say something here:
308
00:14:22,482 --> 00:14:25,629
I'm not completely sure
that I saw what I saw.
309
00:14:25,710 --> 00:14:26,668
Come on.
310
00:14:26,693 --> 00:14:28,106
You told us that you saw it.
311
00:14:28,131 --> 00:14:29,792
It's the queen bug, isn't it?
312
00:14:29,817 --> 00:14:31,402
I don't know, but this part
313
00:14:31,796 --> 00:14:33,160
looks like the egg sac.
314
00:14:33,185 --> 00:14:34,751
That's where the eggs came out?
315
00:14:36,921 --> 00:14:39,106
It's the queen.
We found the queen.
316
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,465
And why is that a good thing?
317
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:42,365
- Well, if it's like other hives...
- Kill the queen,
318
00:14:42,368 --> 00:14:43,426
you kill the hive.
319
00:14:43,451 --> 00:14:45,117
That's a bit simplistic, but yes.
320
00:14:45,237 --> 00:14:47,070
If it's anything like a beehive,
321
00:14:47,301 --> 00:14:49,176
the workers all die if the queen dies.
322
00:14:49,201 --> 00:14:50,618
That's one way to attack it, then.
323
00:14:50,643 --> 00:14:52,902
We just need to kill one bug.
324
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:54,606
Not thousands.
325
00:14:54,713 --> 00:14:56,613
Yes. If it acts like hive.
326
00:14:56,942 --> 00:14:58,300
Do we know where this queen is now?
327
00:14:58,325 --> 00:15:00,262
- I think I'd better go.
- No. Wait. Why?
328
00:15:00,407 --> 00:15:01,723
Because you're going
to want to know how to get
329
00:15:01,748 --> 00:15:03,777
a large bug out of my boss'
head, and I don't think
330
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,301
I have the patience
for that conversation.
331
00:15:05,676 --> 00:15:07,699
It's in Senator Wheatus' head?
332
00:15:07,724 --> 00:15:09,328
- We should kill him.
- What? No.
333
00:15:09,379 --> 00:15:10,537
We can't kill a senator,
334
00:15:10,562 --> 00:15:11,962
Gustav, that's ridiculous.
335
00:15:11,964 --> 00:15:13,448
I'm just saying that if it saves
336
00:15:13,473 --> 00:15:15,245
the human race, is it wrong?
337
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,012
Yes, it's wrong.
338
00:15:17,831 --> 00:15:19,199
Human race?
339
00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:24,129
When did we start talking
about "human race"?
340
00:15:24,179 --> 00:15:25,674
You didn't tell him everything.
341
00:15:25,699 --> 00:15:26,913
No, I-I don't think
342
00:15:26,938 --> 00:15:28,863
it's really a good idea to get into...
343
00:15:29,184 --> 00:15:30,231
What?
344
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:33,356
What is "everything"?
345
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,165
- They're not of this world.
- Gustav.
346
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,092
I'm going.
347
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:39,449
It was good talking.
348
00:15:42,304 --> 00:15:44,973
We're not sure about that part.
It's-it's just a theory.
349
00:15:44,998 --> 00:15:47,299
It's just a theory that the
bugs come from another planet?
350
00:15:47,324 --> 00:15:48,533
You don't have to believe that
351
00:15:48,535 --> 00:15:49,895
to know that something
weird is going on.
352
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,777
There's always
something weird going on.
353
00:15:51,802 --> 00:15:53,381
This is insane.
354
00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:54,934
I'm not disagreeing.
355
00:15:56,202 --> 00:15:57,401
Okay.
356
00:15:57,426 --> 00:15:59,388
I just... I have
to get back to work.
357
00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:01,218
Well, call me, okay?
358
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,551
Or am I... too insane?
359
00:16:11,122 --> 00:16:12,556
I'll call.
360
00:16:25,715 --> 00:16:27,301
Hey, Mom, how are you guys?
361
00:16:27,326 --> 00:16:29,859
Oh, honey!
Hey, it's Gareth.
362
00:16:29,884 --> 00:16:31,284
It's the middle of the day.
363
00:16:31,319 --> 00:16:32,457
- What's wrong, honey?
- Nothing.
364
00:16:32,482 --> 00:16:34,153
I just wanted
to hear how you guys were.
365
00:16:34,178 --> 00:16:35,310
Oh, we're good.
366
00:16:35,335 --> 00:16:37,209
Your father's home between shifts.
367
00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:41,460
He's just fixing the toaster
for the 15th time
368
00:16:41,485 --> 00:16:43,540
- instead of just buying a new one.
- It's perfectly good.
369
00:16:43,565 --> 00:16:45,262
I'm happy to hear nothing's changed.
370
00:16:45,287 --> 00:16:46,934
Honey, you sound funny.
What is it?
371
00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:49,126
- Are things crazy there?
- No, I'm good. How's Kathy?
372
00:16:49,323 --> 00:16:50,777
Oh, she's good.
373
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,340
We're trying a new medication.
374
00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:54,808
So far, so good, so she's happy.
375
00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:57,652
You know who dropped by?
376
00:16:57,677 --> 00:16:59,889
- Don't tell him about that.
- Why not?
377
00:16:59,914 --> 00:17:01,597
Because he'll be poisoned against her,
378
00:17:01,622 --> 00:17:02,910
because you brought her up.
379
00:17:02,935 --> 00:17:03,942
Wait, what's Dad saying?
380
00:17:03,967 --> 00:17:06,083
Nothing.
He wanted me not to mention
381
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,456
that Mary Anne dropped by
to see how you were doing.
382
00:17:08,481 --> 00:17:09,547
Oh, my God.
383
00:17:09,549 --> 00:17:10,748
She's pre-med now.
384
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:12,149
- Okay, I'm hanging up.
- Wait, why?
385
00:17:12,151 --> 00:17:14,518
She... she just wanted
to see how you were doing.
386
00:17:14,543 --> 00:17:15,852
I love you, Mom. Good-bye.
387
00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:17,699
- See? I told you.
- Your dad's saying
388
00:17:17,724 --> 00:17:19,923
- "I told you."
- I love you, Mom.
389
00:17:19,948 --> 00:17:21,415
I just have to go.
390
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,340
Give Mary Anne a call, okay?
391
00:17:23,606 --> 00:17:25,926
She still wonders why you broke up.
392
00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:27,297
Okay. I will.
393
00:17:27,322 --> 00:17:29,055
Bye. Gotta go.
394
00:17:37,669 --> 00:17:38,785
Hello.
395
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:40,543
Fiber. They don't count fiber.
396
00:17:40,545 --> 00:17:41,582
Excuse me?
397
00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:43,706
These energy bars in your drawer?
398
00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:45,936
You'd be better off
eating two Hostess cupcakes.
399
00:17:45,961 --> 00:17:48,825
Fiber increases
the calorie intake by 20%.
400
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,121
And this, here:
"Made with natural ingredients."
401
00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:53,652
Everything is natural.
402
00:17:53,728 --> 00:17:55,668
It could have human hair in it;
it would still be natural.
403
00:17:55,696 --> 00:17:57,004
You need to look for "organic."
404
00:17:57,029 --> 00:17:59,160
There's a legal definition
for "organic."
405
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,215
Why were you in my desk?
406
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,371
I was bored.
I couldn't find the budget.
407
00:18:10,598 --> 00:18:12,894
I should've looked
in the credenza, there.
408
00:18:12,919 --> 00:18:15,496
Or you could've waited
in reception for me to return.
409
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,739
- Who are you?
- Cole Stockwell.
410
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,543
Sorry, I don't shake hands;
it's not personal.
411
00:18:19,568 --> 00:18:20,832
And why are you here?
412
00:18:20,857 --> 00:18:22,692
The senator told me to help you.
I used to write budgets.
413
00:18:22,717 --> 00:18:25,184
I used to translate
human language into this.
414
00:18:25,492 --> 00:18:26,944
He hired me to do the reverse:
415
00:18:26,969 --> 00:18:29,145
translate this back
into human language.
416
00:18:29,481 --> 00:18:30,317
Ah.
417
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,668
Great.
Can I see the collar here?
418
00:18:32,693 --> 00:18:34,652
- Why?
- It's just something I do.
419
00:18:34,677 --> 00:18:35,642
Okay.
420
00:18:39,475 --> 00:18:40,408
Sorry.
421
00:18:40,433 --> 00:18:42,317
Just... "40% cotton."
422
00:18:42,342 --> 00:18:43,512
That always makes me laugh.
423
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:46,851
Do you mind?
424
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,242
No, no. Don't mind me.
425
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:50,167
I'll just... Ha.
426
00:18:50,192 --> 00:18:51,223
Laurel Healy.
427
00:18:51,248 --> 00:18:53,253
Miss Healy,
this is Senator Red Wheatus.
428
00:18:53,278 --> 00:18:54,965
Do you recognize my voice?
429
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:56,486
I do.
430
00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:58,621
Would you like to speak
to my brother, Senator?
431
00:18:58,646 --> 00:19:01,293
Mm, no, no, I want to speak to you.
432
00:19:01,318 --> 00:19:02,910
I have something I need to show you.
433
00:19:02,935 --> 00:19:04,334
You do?
434
00:19:04,737 --> 00:19:06,739
- And what is that?
- Well, I could tell you,
435
00:19:06,764 --> 00:19:08,457
but that would hurt the surprise.
436
00:19:08,707 --> 00:19:10,889
"Spending for
means-tested entitlements
437
00:19:10,914 --> 00:19:12,043
"other than Medicaid
438
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:15,035
enacted at 1.3% GDP."
Love it.
439
00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:16,684
I'm a little busy, Senator.
440
00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:17,785
Come to my office.
441
00:19:17,810 --> 00:19:19,643
This'll only take 20 minutes.
442
00:19:19,668 --> 00:19:21,935
No, let's... do it
someplace public.
443
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:26,074
Lana, I have some oppo research
here to present to you.
444
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:28,387
You're not gonna want
to be in public for this.
445
00:19:28,412 --> 00:19:30,504
- I'll call you back.
- Lana, no, you can't just...
446
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:33,957
It's beautiful.
447
00:19:34,762 --> 00:19:35,698
Oh, my God.
448
00:19:35,723 --> 00:19:37,504
I spend my life writing laws
449
00:19:37,529 --> 00:19:39,692
in a way nobody can
figure out what they mean.
450
00:19:39,717 --> 00:19:41,183
I know every trick in the book.
451
00:19:41,230 --> 00:19:43,785
I invented some of them, but this...
452
00:19:44,145 --> 00:19:46,372
this is like
the Picasso of legislation.
453
00:19:46,397 --> 00:19:49,121
I just have to tip my hat and cry.
454
00:19:49,395 --> 00:19:50,434
Hey, it's me.
455
00:19:50,459 --> 00:19:51,731
Red Wheatus just called me.
456
00:19:51,756 --> 00:19:52,715
He did? Why?
457
00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:54,005
- He wants to meet.
- Who is it?
458
00:19:54,030 --> 00:19:55,574
With-with who? You?
459
00:19:55,599 --> 00:19:57,364
- Yes.
- Red Wheatus just called Laurel.
460
00:19:57,389 --> 00:19:58,856
He wants to meet.
461
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:00,523
Yes, definitely.
462
00:20:00,885 --> 00:20:02,238
This is an opportunity.
463
00:20:02,263 --> 00:20:04,512
We need to find a way
to draw the queen out.
464
00:20:04,934 --> 00:20:06,535
From my hymenoptera books...
465
00:20:07,301 --> 00:20:09,090
All with queens.
466
00:20:09,373 --> 00:20:10,886
Will you be safe if you meet with him?
467
00:20:10,911 --> 00:20:12,106
I don't know, I guess.
468
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,652
Okay, then we think you should do it.
469
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,152
But be careful.
470
00:20:15,177 --> 00:20:16,199
I will.
471
00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:17,887
- I'll call you.
- You know the weird thing?
472
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:19,549
This budget is going out of its way
473
00:20:19,574 --> 00:20:20,942
to offer something for everyone?
474
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,012
Then why are they hiding it all
in gobbledygook?
475
00:20:23,037 --> 00:20:25,104
Why do they hide Waldo?
Because it's fun to find him.
476
00:20:26,122 --> 00:20:27,565
It's talking to me.
477
00:20:27,590 --> 00:20:28,770
This budget...
478
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,197
it wants me to find Waldo.
479
00:20:32,347 --> 00:20:33,597
They said that?
480
00:20:33,622 --> 00:20:35,815
- In so many words.
- And a few gestures.
481
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,363
So it's all about sex.
482
00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,597
- I thought we were past that.
- We're never past that.
483
00:20:39,622 --> 00:20:41,225
Senator, you have a lot going for you.
484
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:43,737
We cannot have a Petraeus
problem on our hands.
485
00:20:43,762 --> 00:20:45,465
So? What do we do about it?
486
00:20:45,490 --> 00:20:46,965
Well, for starters,
487
00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:49,059
you provide us with a complete list
488
00:20:49,084 --> 00:20:50,613
of all the women
you've had relations with
489
00:20:50,638 --> 00:20:52,043
and then we go from there.
490
00:20:54,951 --> 00:20:56,121
Hmm.
491
00:20:56,146 --> 00:20:58,004
You know, I just became a father.
492
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:00,809
And... when I looked into
493
00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:02,729
my daughter's face for the first time,
494
00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:06,692
I thought, "My God,
all the clichés are true."
495
00:21:07,121 --> 00:21:10,043
I knew, right then,
I had to be a better man.
496
00:21:10,777 --> 00:21:12,021
I made a commitment.
497
00:21:12,356 --> 00:21:14,556
I went to all the women
you're asking about
498
00:21:14,582 --> 00:21:16,023
and I told them it was over.
499
00:21:16,048 --> 00:21:17,254
And I meant it.
500
00:21:17,279 --> 00:21:18,776
I haven't spoken to any of them since
501
00:21:18,801 --> 00:21:20,000
and I don't even think about it.
502
00:21:20,025 --> 00:21:21,441
But even if I hadn't,
503
00:21:21,466 --> 00:21:23,265
are you really suggesting
I can't do my job
504
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:25,152
because I'm a failed human being?
505
00:21:25,712 --> 00:21:28,762
Does your candidate really want
to be suggesting that?
506
00:22:23,795 --> 00:22:24,827
Hello.
507
00:22:24,852 --> 00:22:25,988
Hey, it's me.
508
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:27,427
Is it too late?
509
00:22:27,531 --> 00:22:28,684
I...
510
00:22:28,709 --> 00:22:30,409
No, no, no, no, no, no.
511
00:22:30,802 --> 00:22:32,135
I'm here. What's up?
512
00:22:32,527 --> 00:22:34,231
I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
513
00:22:34,739 --> 00:22:35,738
Are you?
514
00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:38,231
I am. I'm just, um...
515
00:22:42,965 --> 00:22:44,301
What are you doing?
516
00:22:53,869 --> 00:22:55,135
You don't have to do this.
517
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,465
Shut up.
518
00:22:57,738 --> 00:22:59,593
It's not just an excuse
to have you come over...
519
00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:00,861
Gareth.
520
00:23:00,863 --> 00:23:02,163
I don't even know if I believe this.
521
00:23:02,165 --> 00:23:03,330
I know.
522
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,699
We can have sex if you want.
523
00:23:05,701 --> 00:23:07,543
No. Shh, it's okay.
524
00:23:10,910 --> 00:23:12,925
What is happening in the world?
525
00:23:14,009 --> 00:23:15,621
Same thing as usual.
526
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,255
Disruption.
527
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,356
People don't like normal.
528
00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:21,770
I like normal.
529
00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:24,211
That's why I like you.
530
00:23:27,789 --> 00:23:29,262
You'll keep the bugs away?
531
00:23:30,608 --> 00:23:31,762
Yes.
532
00:23:40,614 --> 00:23:44,019
We 're wrapping up our vetting
of Senator Healy, and moving on to
533
00:23:44,044 --> 00:23:45,420
a closer look into his family.
534
00:23:45,445 --> 00:23:46,785
I understand you had some interaction
535
00:23:46,810 --> 00:23:48,942
with Senator Healy's sister, Laurel.
536
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:50,699
Laurel Healy was brought in
537
00:23:50,723 --> 00:23:52,558
for over 12 hours
of intensive questioning
538
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:54,409
under an Appendix Q scenario,
539
00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:55,910
regarding her possible connection
540
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,551
to a terrorist group in Syria.
541
00:23:57,690 --> 00:23:59,357
Still an open file, actually.
542
00:23:59,754 --> 00:24:00,939
Her involvement?
543
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:02,950
She had some pretty radical ideas
544
00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:04,949
to explain
the catastrophic head injuries.
545
00:24:05,106 --> 00:24:06,176
How radical?
546
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:08,956
"An expected default
547
00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:12,223
"by the Postal Service
on required contributions
548
00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:15,486
to the Postal Service retiree
health benefits fund..."
549
00:24:15,645 --> 00:24:17,254
Can you stop talking?
550
00:24:17,279 --> 00:24:19,043
It's kind of making my head explode.
551
00:24:19,965 --> 00:24:21,043
It just means...
552
00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:22,395
One second, Stockwell.
553
00:24:23,891 --> 00:24:25,254
How are you doing?
554
00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:26,435
Fine.
555
00:24:27,699 --> 00:24:28,905
Metadata.
556
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:30,835
I'm sorry, what?
557
00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:32,173
Metadata.
558
00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:34,582
I went through the Word
document on Red's laptop.
559
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:35,672
The budget.
560
00:24:35,697 --> 00:24:36,777
It shows all the corrections
561
00:24:36,802 --> 00:24:38,302
that he made in the budget.
562
00:24:38,606 --> 00:24:40,684
- And?
- There were no alterations
563
00:24:40,709 --> 00:24:41,934
or corrections anywhere else,
564
00:24:41,959 --> 00:24:43,159
except for one area.
565
00:24:43,347 --> 00:24:45,059
There were two dozen corrections
566
00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,520
in one section of the budget.
567
00:24:47,017 --> 00:24:48,246
Which section?
568
00:24:49,091 --> 00:24:50,491
The farm bill.
569
00:24:51,488 --> 00:24:52,588
- The farm bill?
- Yeah.
570
00:24:52,910 --> 00:24:55,090
Everything Red cares about
is in the farm bill.
571
00:24:55,238 --> 00:24:56,848
All the corrections were there.
572
00:24:58,361 --> 00:24:59,809
I have to go.
573
00:25:00,471 --> 00:25:01,879
Thank you.
574
00:25:05,940 --> 00:25:07,312
Look in the farm bill section.
575
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,485
Why? What's in it?
576
00:25:08,512 --> 00:25:10,368
I don't know, but look.
577
00:25:12,890 --> 00:25:14,000
Ms. Healy?
578
00:25:14,101 --> 00:25:16,005
Hello, I'm wondering
if you have a minute
579
00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:17,296
to talk about your brother?
580
00:25:17,834 --> 00:25:19,754
As part of the vetting process,
581
00:25:19,776 --> 00:25:21,674
we have to dive deep
into family history,
582
00:25:21,696 --> 00:25:24,373
checking into any
potential liabilities.
583
00:25:24,421 --> 00:25:25,706
Okay, great.
584
00:25:26,218 --> 00:25:27,621
What do you think about bugs?
585
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:31,360
Excuse me?
586
00:25:31,408 --> 00:25:32,736
Bugs.
587
00:25:32,816 --> 00:25:34,021
What do you think of 'em?
588
00:25:34,090 --> 00:25:36,021
H-Have you been, uh,
589
00:25:36,048 --> 00:25:37,899
noticing a larger amount of them
590
00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:39,306
than usual in D.C.?
591
00:25:40,266 --> 00:25:41,504
I don't understand.
592
00:25:41,530 --> 00:25:43,829
We talked to an FBI agent...
593
00:25:43,861 --> 00:25:45,024
Anthony Onofrio?
594
00:25:46,314 --> 00:25:47,669
Why do you say that name?
595
00:25:47,706 --> 00:25:48,682
I broke up with him
596
00:25:48,693 --> 00:25:50,192
and he didn't handle it well.
597
00:25:51,765 --> 00:25:53,328
So he abused his position
598
00:25:53,338 --> 00:25:55,450
and interrogated me
at an FBI black site.
599
00:25:56,517 --> 00:25:57,664
Is that true?
600
00:25:57,701 --> 00:25:58,640
It is.
601
00:25:59,374 --> 00:26:02,770
So, you-you never said
anything, uh, like...
602
00:26:03,578 --> 00:26:05,992
"Bugs are eating half
the brains of senators
603
00:26:06,011 --> 00:26:08,011
and turning them into zombies"?
604
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:20,634
Seriously?
605
00:26:20,668 --> 00:26:21,520
I know.
606
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,000
Bugs?
607
00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:26,260
Ha.
608
00:26:27,824 --> 00:26:29,208
Okay, monkey brains.
609
00:26:29,222 --> 00:26:30,586
That's how we get the bugs
610
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:31,951
out of Red's head.
611
00:26:34,297 --> 00:26:35,191
Bad time?
612
00:26:36,488 --> 00:26:37,373
Sorry, I didn't
613
00:26:37,382 --> 00:26:38,702
know that you were in a meeting.
614
00:26:38,715 --> 00:26:40,520
- What is this?
- Monkey brains.
615
00:26:40,573 --> 00:26:41,440
Excuse me?
616
00:26:41,462 --> 00:26:42,675
Brains from a monkey.
617
00:26:42,706 --> 00:26:44,800
I got 'em down in Chinatown.
618
00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:46,697
Take them into the Red meeting.
619
00:26:46,711 --> 00:26:48,355
It's the carrot to
draw out the queen bug.
620
00:26:48,364 --> 00:26:49,871
Oh, God, they smell.
621
00:26:49,893 --> 00:26:51,195
I know.
622
00:26:51,217 --> 00:26:52,457
I tried to hide it with cologne.
623
00:26:52,471 --> 00:26:53,977
- Are you serious?
- If we're not gonna
624
00:26:53,991 --> 00:26:56,284
kill Red, we need
to draw out the queen bug.
625
00:26:56,377 --> 00:26:58,448
- You know, let's just put it in here.
- Oh, my God.
626
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,137
I actually think you
secretly like this.
627
00:27:01,151 --> 00:27:03,244
No, actually, no.
This is my face
628
00:27:03,257 --> 00:27:04,533
when I don't like something.
629
00:27:06,328 --> 00:27:09,017
Hey, what happened
at your interview with Pohl?
630
00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:10,120
What do you mean?
631
00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:11,924
I got a call that it didn't go well.
632
00:27:16,515 --> 00:27:18,066
I think I'm out of contention.
633
00:27:18,088 --> 00:27:19,506
It was about the affairs, right?
634
00:27:19,826 --> 00:27:21,240
No, I don't think so.
635
00:27:21,266 --> 00:27:22,871
You don't?
What do you mean?
636
00:27:24,235 --> 00:27:26,724
They had everything from
the black site interrogation.
637
00:27:27,302 --> 00:27:29,493
I think they think I'm... crazy.
638
00:27:30,973 --> 00:27:32,951
Oh, my God, this about the bugs?
639
00:27:33,031 --> 00:27:34,204
- Let me handle it.
- Laurel,
640
00:27:34,231 --> 00:27:35,568
you can't cost me this.
641
00:27:35,573 --> 00:27:38,124
I'll handle it.
Just let me handle it.
642
00:27:43,213 --> 00:27:44,235
Come on in.
643
00:27:51,766 --> 00:27:53,964
Yeah, you like it?
644
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,173
I just found it on iTunes.
645
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,126
Melanesian choir.
646
00:27:59,026 --> 00:28:00,986
"Jisas, Masta Mi Save."
647
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,933
Yeah, I think so.
648
00:28:02,993 --> 00:28:04,606
Top 20.
649
00:28:14,506 --> 00:28:16,040
What do you need, Senator?
650
00:28:17,006 --> 00:28:18,253
Well...
651
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,573
it might be what you need.
652
00:28:21,340 --> 00:28:25,100
You've slept with 24
different guys, haven't you?
653
00:28:25,133 --> 00:28:26,646
Ah, oppo research.
654
00:28:26,653 --> 00:28:28,313
And one of those guys
655
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,146
ended up murdering his mom
656
00:28:30,180 --> 00:28:32,166
for her Social Security money.
657
00:28:32,186 --> 00:28:33,833
- Really? Which one?
- Uh...
658
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,633
Pavlov Whinship.
659
00:28:35,653 --> 00:28:36,906
Seriously?
660
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,553
- Oh, my God, I liked him.
- Yeah.
661
00:28:40,140 --> 00:28:42,586
Well, there are other unsavory aspects
662
00:28:42,606 --> 00:28:44,113
to your history here.
663
00:28:44,126 --> 00:28:46,366
- Fistfight with a cab driver?
- Yeah.
664
00:28:46,446 --> 00:28:48,126
So here's the key, Laurel.
665
00:28:48,153 --> 00:28:50,326
- Hey, you got my name right.
- I've got a stick.
666
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,560
And I've got a carrot.
667
00:28:51,580 --> 00:28:52,873
You've heard the stick.
668
00:28:52,906 --> 00:28:54,470
Oppo research.
669
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:55,873
But...
670
00:28:57,140 --> 00:28:58,406
What's that smell?
671
00:28:58,426 --> 00:28:59,793
I don't know.
Do you smell something?
672
00:28:59,813 --> 00:29:00,953
I do.
673
00:29:02,813 --> 00:29:03,660
The carrot?
674
00:29:03,713 --> 00:29:05,193
R-Right. Right, right.
675
00:29:05,220 --> 00:29:06,273
Well,
676
00:29:06,653 --> 00:29:09,140
I like this music.
I've been
677
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:10,920
listening to it all afternoon.
678
00:29:11,013 --> 00:29:13,553
I wouldn't mind seeing
a documentary about it.
679
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,386
I wonder if you know
680
00:29:15,413 --> 00:29:17,413
of someone who might be interested.
681
00:29:17,486 --> 00:29:21,020
My caucus has a $2 million fund
682
00:29:21,053 --> 00:29:23,593
to invest in such a documentary.
683
00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:25,126
You wouldn't do that.
684
00:29:25,413 --> 00:29:26,833
Why wouldn't I?
685
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,160
Because you don't care
about the Solomon Islands.
686
00:29:29,166 --> 00:29:30,213
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
687
00:29:30,393 --> 00:29:31,973
I love this part.
688
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,140
Here's what I do care about;
689
00:29:46,060 --> 00:29:47,473
getting rid of you.
690
00:29:47,593 --> 00:29:49,993
You'd pay me $2 million
to get rid of me?
691
00:29:50,026 --> 00:29:51,320
Oh, yeah.
692
00:29:53,886 --> 00:29:55,840
Well, look at this.
693
00:29:58,406 --> 00:30:00,240
What kind of brains are those?
694
00:30:01,453 --> 00:30:02,473
Monkey.
695
00:30:03,426 --> 00:30:04,866
What's in the farm bill?
696
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,013
I'm a little busy right now.
697
00:30:09,066 --> 00:30:12,260
Why don't you take your
Tupperware of monkey brains
698
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:13,713
and, uh,
699
00:30:13,733 --> 00:30:16,280
think about whether
you want to make documentaries.
700
00:30:16,393 --> 00:30:19,713
And, yes, that's the first time
I've used that sentence.
701
00:30:21,306 --> 00:30:23,060
- $2 million?
- Yep.
702
00:30:23,226 --> 00:30:25,786
You can make a pretty good
documentary with that.
703
00:30:26,093 --> 00:30:27,366
Think about it.
704
00:30:28,306 --> 00:30:29,660
On second thought,
705
00:30:30,426 --> 00:30:31,680
I'm gonna keep this.
706
00:30:46,446 --> 00:30:48,713
Thank you for coming back,
Mr. Pohl.
707
00:30:48,726 --> 00:30:51,920
I just wanted to clarify
our previous misunderstanding.
708
00:30:51,966 --> 00:30:54,286
Are you familiar with
the auteur theory?
709
00:30:54,873 --> 00:30:55,940
See, I'm a filmmaker,
710
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:57,893
and as a filmmaker, I use
711
00:30:57,913 --> 00:30:59,513
the language of metaphor.
712
00:31:00,020 --> 00:31:01,213
This...
713
00:31:01,780 --> 00:31:03,446
is my most recent work.
714
00:31:04,180 --> 00:31:05,500
Not with tanks,
715
00:31:06,153 --> 00:31:07,613
but with an infection.
716
00:31:09,380 --> 00:31:11,170
An infection of extremism.
717
00:31:14,053 --> 00:31:17,353
See, here I use "infection"
to represent revolution.
718
00:31:17,386 --> 00:31:19,966
And you made that documentary?
719
00:31:20,026 --> 00:31:21,100
I did.
720
00:31:22,260 --> 00:31:24,293
So, all the bug stuff you heard
721
00:31:24,306 --> 00:31:25,986
was just my way of talking about
722
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,400
extremism in Washington.
723
00:31:27,793 --> 00:31:31,220
As an artist, I use metaphors a lot.
724
00:31:31,606 --> 00:31:33,366
Probably too much.
I...
725
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,286
I love metaphors.
726
00:31:36,446 --> 00:31:37,713
Come on,
727
00:31:37,786 --> 00:31:39,013
Ms. Healy.
728
00:31:39,046 --> 00:31:40,586
Bugs as metaphor?
729
00:31:40,606 --> 00:31:42,206
Well, there's a long history.
730
00:31:42,260 --> 00:31:44,113
I mean, Kafka's cockroach.
731
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,033
Nabokov's butterflies.
732
00:31:46,286 --> 00:31:48,033
Carlo Collodi's Jiminy Cricket.
733
00:31:49,126 --> 00:31:50,540
I always loved him.
734
00:31:51,570 --> 00:31:52,906
Me, too.
735
00:31:53,973 --> 00:31:56,173
John, this budget bill
is a train wreck.
736
00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:57,933
We can't let them derail us with it.
737
00:31:57,953 --> 00:31:59,300
Tell me I have your vote.
738
00:31:59,353 --> 00:32:00,200
Senator,
739
00:32:00,226 --> 00:32:02,060
it's Agent Roarty from the CIA.
740
00:32:02,780 --> 00:32:05,013
John? John,
I'll have to call you back.
741
00:32:09,370 --> 00:32:11,253
Agent Roarty, what can I do for you?
742
00:32:13,586 --> 00:32:14,493
Yes.
743
00:32:14,526 --> 00:32:16,126
I-I'd be happy to come in
744
00:32:16,140 --> 00:32:17,700
for a briefing with the director.
745
00:32:18,786 --> 00:32:19,920
Understood.
746
00:32:20,726 --> 00:32:22,306
All security measures will be taken
747
00:32:22,333 --> 00:32:23,693
and are acceptable.
748
00:32:24,580 --> 00:32:25,953
I will see you then.
749
00:32:31,833 --> 00:32:35,120
I have now successfully
translated the farm bill section
750
00:32:35,140 --> 00:32:36,773
into layman's legalese.
751
00:32:36,793 --> 00:32:40,446
No easy feat, let me tell you.
These guys are masters.
752
00:32:40,473 --> 00:32:43,160
- And? What does it do?
- It provides
753
00:32:43,180 --> 00:32:46,910
the usual subsidies to various
well-connected agribusinesses.
754
00:32:47,112 --> 00:32:50,432
Plus, one little oddity
even I can't explain.
755
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,594
- Which is?
- $300 million
756
00:32:52,611 --> 00:32:53,965
for a construction project,
757
00:32:53,982 --> 00:32:57,148
located in 80 small towns
across the country.
758
00:32:57,165 --> 00:32:59,371
They're not known for growing anything.
759
00:32:59,405 --> 00:33:00,662
What are the towns?
760
00:33:03,645 --> 00:33:05,102
"Dove Creek, Hotchkiss,
761
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,022
"Lemon Cove, Peetz Hill,
762
00:33:07,348 --> 00:33:08,520
and Ribera."
763
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,320
What?
764
00:33:10,342 --> 00:33:11,748
They sound familiar. Why...?
765
00:33:17,914 --> 00:33:20,685
Do you want me to wait here?
Hello?
766
00:33:25,690 --> 00:33:27,005
These are the same towns.
767
00:33:27,051 --> 00:33:29,914
Okay. And these are blueprints for...
768
00:33:30,165 --> 00:33:31,788
Internment camps.
769
00:33:31,994 --> 00:33:33,954
Internment camps for whom?
770
00:33:33,988 --> 00:33:34,765
I don't know.
771
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,902
But why bury the budget
for internment camps
772
00:33:36,931 --> 00:33:38,577
in a farming bill?
773
00:33:41,666 --> 00:33:43,666
_
774
00:34:12,302 --> 00:34:13,211
It's the heat.
775
00:34:14,297 --> 00:34:15,205
I'm sorry, what?
776
00:34:15,234 --> 00:34:17,320
The air-conditioning in the
Russell Building is on a timer.
777
00:34:17,354 --> 00:34:19,800
It shuts off
at exactly 10:30 p.m.
778
00:34:19,942 --> 00:34:23,611
Bugs need a temperature between
85 and 95 degrees to spawn.
779
00:34:24,177 --> 00:34:25,434
How do you know that?
780
00:34:26,028 --> 00:34:28,851
It's true. I don't know
why it's important,
781
00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:30,097
but it's true.
782
00:34:30,697 --> 00:34:31,434
Hmm.
783
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,085
All I've done for the
last 24 hours is Google bugs.
784
00:34:37,102 --> 00:34:39,480
They need 85 degrees to spawn,
and the Russell Building
785
00:34:39,497 --> 00:34:41,868
only hits that temperature
after the A/C shuts down.
786
00:34:42,142 --> 00:34:44,462
When did you see the queen
bug spawn the last time?
787
00:34:44,874 --> 00:34:45,885
11:00 p.m.
788
00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:48,251
- So the queen will come out again.
- After 10:30.
789
00:34:54,862 --> 00:34:55,931
It's official.
790
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,262
I'm insane.
791
00:35:01,714 --> 00:35:05,594
Since when has idealism
become a dirty word, Senator?
792
00:35:05,788 --> 00:35:07,902
I'm an idealist and proud of...
793
00:35:11,194 --> 00:35:12,474
One second, baby.
794
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,514
One second. Patience.
795
00:35:15,057 --> 00:35:16,057
Patience.
796
00:35:16,468 --> 00:35:17,542
Uh-huh.
797
00:35:18,354 --> 00:35:19,931
Then join us.
798
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:22,188
What you call moderation
799
00:35:22,217 --> 00:35:23,994
I call not giving a crap.
800
00:35:25,017 --> 00:35:27,022
All right. All right.
801
00:35:27,045 --> 00:35:28,177
All right, bye. Bye.
802
00:35:29,182 --> 00:35:30,794
Uh, I'm getting them.
803
00:35:30,851 --> 00:35:32,285
I'm getting...
804
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,880
Where are the cherry blossoms?
805
00:35:38,428 --> 00:35:39,228
The flowers there?
806
00:35:39,234 --> 00:35:40,845
Yeah. The flowers there.
Where are they?
807
00:35:41,177 --> 00:35:42,371
They were dying, Senator.
808
00:35:42,382 --> 00:35:43,354
I threw them out.
809
00:35:44,045 --> 00:35:45,514
Cherry blossom season is almost over...
810
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,108
I don't want a dissertation,
I want cherry bl...
811
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,874
Not yet.
812
00:35:48,908 --> 00:35:50,320
No... not yet.
813
00:35:50,342 --> 00:35:51,834
You might try the other room?
814
00:35:59,897 --> 00:36:01,165
Good enough.
815
00:36:03,085 --> 00:36:05,934
Oh, good. You found them.
I-I wasn't sure...
816
00:36:16,058 --> 00:36:17,440
Uh, sorry.
817
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,007
I cut that one a little close,
didn't I?
818
00:36:20,036 --> 00:36:21,483
Senator, good evening.
819
00:36:22,181 --> 00:36:23,949
What...?
What are you doing?
820
00:36:23,963 --> 00:36:25,960
Just came by to talk
about my documentary.
821
00:36:26,196 --> 00:36:29,025
Not now.
I need you out of my office.
822
00:36:29,781 --> 00:36:30,909
Or?
823
00:36:31,301 --> 00:36:32,552
Wh-What?
824
00:36:32,589 --> 00:36:35,440
You said you need me out
of your office. Or...?
825
00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:37,570
Th-There is no "or."
826
00:36:37,614 --> 00:36:39,614
I am a senator, and you are nothing.
827
00:36:39,636 --> 00:36:41,738
- Who were you talking to before?
- It's none of your business.
828
00:36:41,752 --> 00:36:43,360
- Let me see.
- No, no, no, no.
829
00:36:43,403 --> 00:36:45,505
There's the door.
I need you to leave.
830
00:36:45,534 --> 00:36:47,447
Go on. Don't treat my office
831
00:36:47,469 --> 00:36:49,541
like some bus station waiting room.
832
00:36:49,694 --> 00:36:50,792
He's blocking it.
It's out.
833
00:36:50,807 --> 00:36:52,836
Hurry! Hurry, they're coming!
Hurry!
834
00:36:55,447 --> 00:36:56,727
Get off me!
835
00:36:56,770 --> 00:36:58,581
- Where is it?
- His desk. There!
836
00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:00,385
It's going for his ear!
837
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:01,381
Watch-watch it! Watch it!
838
00:37:01,410 --> 00:37:03,243
I got him. Go!
839
00:37:03,469 --> 00:37:04,603
There it goes!
840
00:37:05,178 --> 00:37:06,596
Under the couch!
841
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:10,981
Okay.
842
00:37:11,432 --> 00:37:12,385
Okay...
843
00:37:13,430 --> 00:37:15,803
Don't you dare hurt her!
844
00:37:22,792 --> 00:37:23,650
Damn.
845
00:37:24,858 --> 00:37:26,043
There! There!
846
00:37:26,050 --> 00:37:27,570
- There!
- Oh!
847
00:37:27,592 --> 00:37:28,727
Aah!
848
00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:35,796
- Gary!
- Shh!
849
00:37:42,661 --> 00:37:43,810
Did you need me, Senator?
850
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,595
Senator? Senator?
851
00:37:48,460 --> 00:37:49,635
No! Hey! No!
852
00:37:50,471 --> 00:37:52,422
Hey, hey! Hey!
You get your hands...
853
00:37:57,977 --> 00:37:59,360
Get out of here now.
854
00:37:59,591 --> 00:38:00,688
You lost.
855
00:38:00,702 --> 00:38:01,804
Get out!
856
00:38:01,888 --> 00:38:03,195
Gary the Intern,
857
00:38:03,408 --> 00:38:05,240
get the Capitol Police on the line.
858
00:38:05,257 --> 00:38:06,244
Yes, Senator.
859
00:38:07,897 --> 00:38:09,902
If you don't want to be arrested,
860
00:38:10,768 --> 00:38:12,257
I'd go right now.
861
00:38:18,955 --> 00:38:20,208
Senator Healy.
862
00:38:21,514 --> 00:38:23,257
I'm Bob Isenstadt.
863
00:38:23,474 --> 00:38:26,548
You probably don't know me.
I'm the director's director.
864
00:38:26,570 --> 00:38:29,000
"The director's director"?
Is that an official title?
865
00:38:29,028 --> 00:38:31,360
No, more like an honorific.
866
00:38:31,657 --> 00:38:32,948
I'm here for continuity.
867
00:38:32,971 --> 00:38:35,848
CIA directors come and go, but I stay,
868
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,888
just like crabgrass.
869
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,024
You're the Hoover of the CIA?
870
00:38:40,048 --> 00:38:42,896
We're gonna get along fine.
Why don't you come on back?
871
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:44,984
Sit on down, Senator.
872
00:38:45,140 --> 00:38:46,661
Congratulations. You're...
873
00:38:47,018 --> 00:38:49,141
the top choice for CIA director.
874
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:51,760
And now comes the fun part.
875
00:38:52,512 --> 00:38:53,610
Is there a fun part?
876
00:38:53,861 --> 00:38:55,200
The security briefing.
877
00:38:55,237 --> 00:38:57,258
Just as the presidential
candidates are given
878
00:38:57,264 --> 00:39:00,442
a classified briefing on
ongoing programs and dilemmas,
879
00:39:00,453 --> 00:39:03,440
the CIA directors get the same.
880
00:39:04,394 --> 00:39:05,520
So, here we are.
881
00:39:06,229 --> 00:39:08,440
Well, I am ready.
882
00:39:08,826 --> 00:39:11,146
Uh, just a few preliminaries,
if you don't mind.
883
00:39:12,149 --> 00:39:16,280
This will be my 21st briefing
of a CIA director,
884
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,860
but they never get old.
885
00:39:19,740 --> 00:39:22,220
The presidential candidates
have been told what I'm about
886
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:23,600
to tell you.
887
00:39:23,670 --> 00:39:25,340
But no one else.
888
00:39:25,430 --> 00:39:27,230
And you're to tell no one.
889
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,380
Or discuss with anyone.
890
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,150
You understand?
891
00:39:32,049 --> 00:39:33,113
Yes.
892
00:39:33,310 --> 00:39:34,418
Good.
893
00:39:37,003 --> 00:39:40,750
Two months ago, a meteor
from the constellation Draco
894
00:39:40,755 --> 00:39:43,631
landed in the Russian province
of Chelyabinsk.
895
00:39:44,177 --> 00:39:46,040
Inside this meteor
896
00:39:46,897 --> 00:39:48,422
were flesh-eating bugs.
897
00:39:51,351 --> 00:39:52,746
Now, we don't have a name for them yet,
898
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,810
but these bugs appear to enter
through the eardrum of humans,
899
00:39:55,820 --> 00:39:58,174
and consume about 40%
900
00:39:58,189 --> 00:39:59,941
of the cerebral hemisphere.
901
00:40:00,138 --> 00:40:01,963
The corpus callosum.
902
00:40:04,756 --> 00:40:06,509
The resulting victim
903
00:40:06,610 --> 00:40:09,680
undergoes several alterations
of character.
904
00:40:10,501 --> 00:40:13,847
They become angrier, more directed,
905
00:40:14,327 --> 00:40:16,632
and whatever biases they had before,
906
00:40:16,661 --> 00:40:18,501
whether political or cultural,
907
00:40:18,516 --> 00:40:20,138
become more aggravated.
908
00:40:21,301 --> 00:40:24,436
Until recently,
we did not know the reason
909
00:40:24,603 --> 00:40:25,978
for this parasite,
910
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,552
but now we believe
911
00:40:28,574 --> 00:40:31,963
it is part of an
intelligent outside plan
912
00:40:31,978 --> 00:40:34,821
to keep mankind struggling with itself.
913
00:40:36,654 --> 00:40:39,549
I know this sounds incredible.
914
00:40:39,847 --> 00:40:41,803
And as of two weeks ago,
I probably would've laughed
915
00:40:41,818 --> 00:40:43,927
such a story out of my office, but...
916
00:40:44,938 --> 00:40:46,632
this is real.
917
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:48,421
Do you understand?
918
00:40:51,170 --> 00:40:55,061
I, uh...
I-I heard something like this.
919
00:40:55,934 --> 00:40:57,541
Yes, we're aware of that.
920
00:40:58,414 --> 00:41:00,596
We need to ask something
of you, Senator.
921
00:41:01,869 --> 00:41:05,076
We need you and your sister
to stand down.
922
00:41:06,270 --> 00:41:08,705
- My sister?
- Well, yeah. She was one of the first
923
00:41:08,727 --> 00:41:11,745
to discover this attack, and
she stumbled across our path,
924
00:41:11,956 --> 00:41:14,654
preventing us from
moving on the ringleaders.
925
00:41:14,785 --> 00:41:16,727
Just last night, we were attempting
926
00:41:16,741 --> 00:41:18,501
to take Red Wheatus into custody,
927
00:41:18,530 --> 00:41:20,341
but your sister and her friends
928
00:41:20,509 --> 00:41:23,141
prevented us
from executing our operation.
929
00:41:23,949 --> 00:41:27,214
The CIA respects amateurs, but we're...
930
00:41:27,309 --> 00:41:28,894
also wary of them!
931
00:41:28,909 --> 00:41:31,185
They tend to make our lives difficult.
932
00:41:31,752 --> 00:41:34,290
We have a plan
933
00:41:34,967 --> 00:41:36,545
to battle this...
934
00:41:37,861 --> 00:41:40,305
invasion... yes,
I'll call it that... but...
935
00:41:40,509 --> 00:41:43,680
we need you and your sister
to stand down.
936
00:41:44,974 --> 00:41:46,305
You understand?
937
00:41:50,130 --> 00:41:51,214
I...
938
00:41:52,021 --> 00:41:53,127
Yes, uh...
939
00:41:54,065 --> 00:41:55,810
th-this is so bizarre.
940
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,418
Yes, it is.
941
00:42:01,127 --> 00:42:03,040
But still, it's nothing like Fallujah.
942
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,880
Well, thank you for, uh, coming in.
943
00:42:09,185 --> 00:42:10,421
We'll be in touch.
944
00:42:10,690 --> 00:42:13,796
Yes, uh... thank you. I, uh...
945
00:42:18,101 --> 00:42:19,163
Thank you.
946
00:42:36,072 --> 00:42:37,454
What do you think?
947
00:42:41,192 --> 00:42:42,916
I think it worked.
948
00:42:43,910 --> 00:42:48,917
Synced and corrected
by LittleDuck and vivelalto
www.addic7ed.com
64149
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