Original subtitles

Ginger tea, oh, Ms. Anastasia.

I can always count on you to come with something different.

I like my tea like my men, darling.

Each day, I prefer to enjoy a new one.

Anastasia.

You are as beautiful as a new dawn,

peaking over the crest of the mighty Kilimanjaro.

You as lovely as dew on rose petals,

as exquisite...

Good morning, Efe.

Well, how do I look?

Eh, normal.

Yeah. Back to you, Anastasia.

It is a blessing to be in the presence

of such a radiant beauty.

Mm. Efe, what has gotten into you?

- Yes. - No, no,

I am just expressing stuff from the bottom of my heart,

a heart that only beats for Anastasia.

Allow me.

What in the world has gotten into Efe?

The same thing that gets into all men

when I'm around, darling.

What's that?

Cupid's arrow.

- Ms. Parks! - Wait, wait.

Where did my love go. Doesn't matter.

I will follow her perfume.

Hey, Ms. Parks. My goodness.

Philip's favorite teacher. To what do I owe the pleasure?

Well, Philip is one of my best students

so I stopped by to ask

if he'd like to represent our school

in the State's History Essay Contest.

Oh, my goodness. That's wonderful.

That's such a great idea.

And since I never like to show up empty-handed,

I baked you some sugar cookies.

With a heart.

My favorite, how did you know?

I remember how much you liked them

at the open house,

that you kept eating them, and eating them.

I need to bring some more.

♪ Hallelujah lord ♪

Mr. Leroy Brown, Ms. Kimberly Parks.

Nice to meet you.

Mr. Brown, come on. Say something.

Mr. Brown.

Oh, hey, how you doing?

What's your name?

- So, Leah. - Yes.

Would you and Jeremy be open

to Philip entering the contest?

I mean, if you want to.

Yes, yes, yes, he would...

Whatever you want, he would... Yes, he would like to.

Only if you can come back and help him

with the project.

Unless it's an inconvenience,

I'd be happy to meet him in the library.

- Well, you know... - No!

No, we got stuff around here.

See, we got muffins, we got tables.

You got fruit.

Look, look, teachers do like fruit.

- It's fruit. - Yes.

You know what? I think it would be a great idea

for Philip to represent his school.

But I do think we should ask him.

- Absolutely. - So...

Yeah, yeah. You go ahead and ask him.

Just run along. No, no, walk along and ask him.

Actually, I think I'm gonna text him

and tell him to come on down.

Mr. Brown, I am not leaving you alone with that sweet woman.

I'm afraid you like her.

You wrong. I'm afraid I don't like her.

I'm in love with her.

I'm in love with a teacher.

Maybe she can teach me some stuff.

- Go on, tell him. - Mr. Brown.

No, you putting some salt in my drink.

Stop it. Philip, come downstairs.

Talk text. Answer me.

I'm gonna blow her a kiss.

Mr. Brown.

Hey, Ms. Parks. Give me one second.

♪ No matter what you do I love you ♪

♪ No matter where you go I'm behind you for sure ♪

♪ Always remember, love will never walk ♪

♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪

Louisiana Purchase.

Oh, yeah, I like the Louisiana Purchase, myself.

And I wind up going to this place

and I order me, "Let me have a hurricane."

And I got the hurricane. I drunk that think.

I said, "Whoo, this thing have me dizzy."

I said, "Y'all gotta give me a refund or something."

Mr. Brown, come on now. Let them concentrate.

Sit on down now. Come on.

- No, it's fine. - Oh, sorry.

The next step is crafting your thesis statement

and writing your outline.

Do you think you can have that done by next Wednesday?

No.

Have that this evening.

Ain't no need to wait until Wednesday.

Why do tomorrow yesterday what you can do right now?

Well, Philip has to rake all the leaves in the backyard.

- So, uh... Yeah. - No, he don't.

I'ma hire a gardener. You coming back?

Awesome.

Well, he gotta clean his room, Mr. Brown.

- That right, Philip? - No, he don't.

I'ma hire some maid service

to come right in there and just...

make it right on up.

- Nice. - Yeah.

I'll have you to know that the children

are our future.

And there is nothing more important

than the education.

See, I don't believe that kids are our future.

I believe that they are our now.

I couldn't agree more.

Thank you so much.

Wait, wait, now, wait, Ms. Parks might have

some other things to do this afternoon

and then come over here...

- Leah. Please. - Mm?

You know ain't nothing more important

than educating the kids.

Mr. Brown.

Actually, my schedule is open.

I could come back, say, around 4:00.

Three o'clock.

Four o'clock be too late.

Well, 3:00 it is.

- Leah, enjoy the cookies. - Mm-hmm. Yes, girl.

She been enjoying them.

Whatever you put in them, she like them.

Leroy, it was a pleasure meeting you.

Philip, I can't wait to see

what brilliant outline you come up with.

Oh, thank you.

It's good to see you.

- Leah! - Listen here.

Ms. Parks is the sweetest woman I know.

Mr. Brown, I'm not gonna let you drive her up a wall

with your foolishness.

I can't have that on my conscience.

She's so sweet, and she's so pretty and stuff.

And ain't nobody ever make me feel

the way she make me feel.

Yeah, I believe Mr. Brown's sincere.

You just saying that 'cause he paying all them contractors

to do your chores, boy.

- What? - "What?"

Man, look at that face.

Do that, do that.

No, go back to the other one.

This fruit basket is for you.

Oh, I'm not hungry.

No, you don't understand.

This basket represents my productive labor

and the beginning of our courtship.

Where I'm from, courtship officially starts

in an El Dorado's back seat.

Oh, no, you don't understand.

Our courtship will be traditional, I assure you.

Efe, I think you're an amazing person,

but I'm really not interested in some stuffy courtship.

Oh, , we have gifts!

Not that damn fruit?

No. Gifts of extreme value.

Now you're speaking my language.

I love gifts, diamonds, especially.

I purchased a big gift for you,

so big it could not fit inside here.

Come, let me show you.

Is it a luxury Sedan?

A seat warmer to toast my buns?

Something even more valuable.

Ooh, I can't wait to see it.

Ergh.

A cow?

It's not just a cow.

It is milk to drink

and it can feed a family for months.

Efe, we have grocery stores here.

No, no, you don't understand.

I know that we have grocery stores here.

In fact, we have many grocery stores back at home.

But the gift of livestock

is a grand gesture

to say that I will always take care of you.

Isn't that romantic?

And, honestly, I also got it

because I wanted to see Mr. Brown's face

when he steps into cow poo-poo.

Efe, don't get me wrong.

I mean, I understand.

I'm not surprised at all

why you've fallen in love with me.

Your vision is 20-20.

Mostly.

But we've known each other for quite some time

and we've always just been friends.

Why the sudden change?

Anastasia, we have a saying in my country.

Love, like rain, does not choose the grass upon which it falls,

nor when.

We have a saying of ours here too.

Efe, when you like something,

then you should put a ring on it.

I'm so glad you brought that up.

Oh, Efe, I was just kidding.

Anastasia Deveraux, will you make me

the luckiest man in the world?

Will you marry me?

Anastasia Deveraux, will you marry me?

Efe, I can't.

Am I not handsome?

Oh, of course you're handsome.

Am I not wealthy?

Well, I don't know. I haven't seen your bank statements.

It's none of those things.

What is it?

Efe, I don't believe you love me, do you?

Oh, uh, love you...

It's not a hard question.

Either you love someone or you don't.

Oh, yeah, of course.

- No. Say what? - Then say it.

That you love me.

Oh, you? Yes.

Em, um...

What's that? A little more clearly.

No, it's just... Um...

I love you!

Efe, I have spent most of my life in Hollywood.

I've seen good acting and bad acting,

and yours was neither.

It was horrible!

Okay, Anastasia, you're right.

I don't love you like that,

but we have a saying in my country.

A happy man marries the woman he loves,

but an even happier man loves the woman he marries.

But why do you want to marry me?

I don't want to marry you.

I need to marry you.

Oh, that won't be the first time I've heard that,

but I'm usually smoking a cigarette in bed.

But why do you need to?

I got a call from the I.N.S.

My visa is expiring

and, uh, they will deport me back to my country

unless I marry an American citizen.

Efe, why didn't you just say so?

I just...

I love it here at Pleasant Days

and I just thought you would say no,

so I said, "Maybe I'll sweeten the deal

with a little bit of romance."

Well, I'm sorry you wasted your time.

Because of course I'll marry you!

- You will? - Yes!

Weddings are like potato chips.

Once you've had a handful, what's one more?

That is fantastic!

Oh, ooh, but the ceremony has to be tonight.

Not my first shotgun wedding either.

I'll go tell the others.

Wait, wait, wait! Anastasia, don't, don't!

You can tell them,

but they have to believe that we're in love.

Why?

If the I.N.S. Knows it's a sham wedding,

I will still be deported,

but you will spend five years behind bars.

Leah asked me to help you impress Philip's teacher.

Now, I think it best we begin

with you speaking the King's English.

Oh, I know the King's English.

I have a dream...

- No. No, no. - That we all...

Not Martin Luther King, Mr. Brown.

I mean proper English. That's what I'm here for.

Ain't nobody wanna talk no proper English.

What's the pernt?

Well, now you just made it.

The word you're trying to pronounce is point.

This is about articulation.

Well, okay, what's the point?

You got a point to... Point.

No, I think, before we begin,

I think it's best that we

find a base level of knowledge

so that we know how far we need to go.

Now, repeat after me.

Okay, let me.

The strawberry across the street was delicious.

The skrawberry across the skreet was delicious.

On Valentine's Day,

I specifically drank an espresso

and ate shrimp.

On Balentine's Day,

I pacifically drank a spresso

and ate skrimp.

With what do you change the TV channel?

Okay, now I ain't stupid.

A mote control.

I, I, just... You're just beyond my help.

Look here, don't nobody need to learn

a whole bunch of talking.

I've been talking since I was little.

Let me aks you something.

Uh, "ask."

I ain't finna be cussing.

No, "ask." You wanna "ask" a question.

Well, that's what I said, aks a question.

Yeah, uh, you think

you can help me get Ms. Parks to like me?

Well, maybe you could show an interest in her hobbies.

Demonstrate that you have something in common.

Perhaps you could brush up on your knowledge of history.

Oh, that's good.

You think if I do that, she gonna like me?

Oh, yeah.

Think I have a chance?

Oh, I definitely think you have a chance, Mr. Brown.

Let me aks you something else.

Oh, yeah.

When the last time you had some?

Well...

Been a long time.

Just the man I want to see.

Reggie, can you follow me into the living room?

Anastasia and I have an announcement

- we'd like to make. - Certainly.

You are marrying this man?

She most certainly is.

Why, you and Efe go together

like peanut butter and mayonnaise.

Well, have you ever eaten peanut butter and mayonnaise?

It's an acquired taste.

What about our plans

to visit the Roman Coliseum one day?

Rome...

I too, I am taking her to Rome.

Tomorrow!

Oh, you are?

Yes, Rome, Georgia. I have a cousin that lives there.

It's very nice. Nice place.

Reginald, stop this, hey.

I know Anastasia is a prize,

but as you say in my country...

- You the jealous one. - Be nice. Be nice.

- You the jealous one. - Anastasia.

What about our tea dates,

our walks around the grounds?

The time you forced me to watch

your entire catalog of movies in one excruciating sitting?

Does that mean nothing now?

Reginald, it means something.

It meant something then and it...

It meant that it pushed me to my one true love, Efe.

No! I refuse to believe that you two are in love!

Efe. What is her favorite color?

- Look at you. Simple question. - Mm-hmm?

Anastasia's favorite color is, um...

Efe, have you seen Mr. Brown?

I'm looking for Brown.

Oh, he's outside,

cleaning the cow poo-poo from his shoes.

Her favorite color is red.

Ah! See? This man knows nothing about you!

You should be marrying me.

You wear black socks with your sandals.

Is that not correct?

That's correct! Take that back, you scoundrel!

You also wear dress socks with sandals!

Gentlemen, gentlemen, don't argue

over little old me.

Yes, because your hand has already been decided,

because, tonight, the Anastasia Deveraux

will become

Mrs. Anastasia

Omowale.

Prove that point.

Uh.

Kimberly, that's for you.

Why, thank you, Leroy.

Yeah. I hope I'm not interrupting nothing.

Y'all talking about history?

- Yeah. - Oh, I have you to know

I'm quite the history bluff.

You mean history buff.

Leroy] Uh, I like history.

I'm really, I'm kinda, somewhat, mediocre history.

I like it. I'm really good at it.

You like history? Since when?

I know history.

I'll tell you what.

Ask me anything about history.

Just give me a little history quiz.

I know history.

I done lived it.

You sure you wanna do that?

Yeah, I got your history book and I was studying.

All right, I'm gonna pray for you.

Okay, go ahead.

- Okay, Leroy. - Mm-hmm.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

That's easy. At the bottom.

What do Attila the Hun and Alexander the Great

have in common?

They both have the same middle name, The.

What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?

'Cause she can't sit.

So that's why she stand for.

You are something else, Mr. Brown.

Thank you, thank you.

Just give me my A and just, let's...

What grade did I get? How many did I get...

- Oh. - Is that 100?

Leroy. I'm afraid none of your answers were correct.

- None of them? - None.

All this time I'm trying to impress you

'cause I really like you,

and trying to make like we got something in common,

and we don't.

You just smart and I'm just a big old dummy.

Leroy, wait. Don't say that.

You are very, very smart.

- He is? - I am?

Yes.

There is more than one kind of intelligence,

and I believe Leroy may be a genius.

See? She said I'm a genius. Yeah.

He displayed such a quick and clever mind

with his answers.

- I did? - He did?

And you made me laugh and laugh.

You laughing?

Oh, believe me, I was in stitches

on the inside.

I held in my laughter

'cause I would never wanna hurt your feelings.

Oh, you ain't got to hold in your laugh.

I like to make people laugh.

See, so there is something that we have in common

because I love to laugh.

And I like to make people laugh.

So you may have failed your history quiz,

but you got an A-plus in my grade book.

Hey, hey, ask her out, ask her out.

- Right now? - Yes.

I'm nervous.

Will you, will you go out...

We can go for a walk around the grounds,

I mean, if you're not busy,

Shut up! That's a yes?

- Yes. - Nobody else?

- Together. - Shut up!

No, don't say nothing else.

I don't want you to change your mind, nuh-uh.

It's a date. I'ma go get ready.

I think I'm gonna jump on the couch. Shut up!

Don't say nothing else.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

to talk about this crazy thing called life.

That's the...

Ashes to ashes, dust...

No, that's the funeral.

I'll just do it...

If there's anybody here that see why this couple

besides me shouldn't be joined in holy mattress-mony,

let him speak now

or forever go to pieces.

Sit down, sit down.

Anastasia Deveraux,

of stage and film,

do you take thee...

Hold on, hold on, wait.

- That can't wait? - I'm getting a call.

You can't do that till after your...

Wait, wait, wait.

Hello.

Yes?

Eh, you kidding?

Hey, eh! Okay, thank you, thank you.

That was the I.N.S.

There was a paperwork error.

My visa is not expiring!

The wedding is off!

Reginald, she's all yours.