Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom!

This is my sister! She's shy!

This is my grandpa!

This is my room!

And this...

This is my show!

Squidina, open the curtain!

Squidina! Squidina! Squidina! Squidina!

Four thousand Squidinas later...

Squidina! Squidina!

That's better.

Hello?

Hello?

Where is everybody?

Dad?

Mom?

GrandPat?

Squidina?

Wait a minute.

I'm home alone.

And I get to do whatever I want!

Oh, sure, I get to do whatever I want every day,

but there are a few things the family won't let me do,

and I'm gonna do 'em all!

First up, I'm gonna make some coffee.

For some reason, my folks don't want me to drink it.

Can I have a cup?

Patrick, coffee makes you jumpy.

Nothing makes mejumpy.

See.

I'm fine--

Whoa!

Didn't affect me at all.

Now, let's make some coffee!

Just put these beans in the ol' coffee maker here.

Look at this weird coffee filter.

Oh, well.

I think I want a full body cup.

While that brews, it's time to cut loose!

Squidina's dolls.

She never lets me play with them.

But Squidina's not here!

A scrumptious tea, eh, ladies?

Can I top you off?

This is the worst tea party

I've ever been to!

Well, I never!

Where are the crumpets?

You better not be holding out on us!

Crumpets?

Oh, I can bake a fresh batch.

It's too late for that, dum-dum.

That's not fancy lady-like!

It's tea time, ladies!

Now I know why Squidina

won't let me play with you!

You're mean dolls!

Oh!

Mom and Dad would never let me jump on their bed.

Wee!

Da-da-da-da!

Hey, this room is full of fun stuff to jump on!

This might be my only chance!

I think that's everything.

Except Mom's trampoline.

Why not?

Aww, this thing's broke--

GrandPat's room!

Look at all the old man stuff.

Old books.

Old weird window.

What's in here?

An old chest?

Wow, GrandPat's denture collection.

I gotta try these!

Big teeth!

Small teeth.

Canines!

Chompers!

Stompers!

And...

TNTeeth!

A fireman's pole! Hup!

Aw, how do you turn this thing on?

Oopsy-daisy.

Ow...

Jeffy. Harold. It's been an honor!

Merry mustachios!

-Hiya, Bunny!

Hiya, Dad!

Hey, Squidina.

I really got to invest in some new pens. Uck!

It looks like each of us had a wacky adventure today!

Can't wait to tell you about mine!

This door is jammed.

Hello? Hello!

Leedle, leedle, limbo!

Leedle, leedle, limbo!

Hello, anyone in there?

That sounds like Dad.

This is Cecil, you know, Patrick Star's dad?

And even says he's my dad!

That can only mean one thing.

A burglar is trying to break into the house!

There's a burglar in the house

wearing a Patrick mask!

Pull yourself together, Patrick!

You're the man of the house now

and it's your duty to protect it!

There. Now the whole house is booby trapped.

Once they break in,

all the burglar has to do

is step on this button.

Just like this!

Uh-oh.

Who painted the lights black and pointy?

Don't mind if I do!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

The burglar is ransacking the house!

We gotta bust in!

Good thing I still got this metal plate from the war!

Charge!

I think that's the last of it.

Ow!

Freeze, burglar!

Patrick?

What happened here?

Mom! Dad!

The other guys!

Boy, what a relief.

Hey, wait a minute.

What are you doing with my dolls?

And my trampoline!

And my dentures!

You weren't playing with our stuff

while we were away, were you?

Alright, mister,

I know exactly what happened here.

Patrick...

beat up the burglar and got our stuff back!

I did?

Way to go, son!

My son, the house protector!

What's that heavenly aroma?

Oh, I forgot.

I brewed up some fresh coffee.

Who wants some?

-Sure! -You betcha!

A cup of joe sounds great!

Huh? But that's not the--

Oh, this is gonna be good.

Okey-doke. Three cups comin' right--

Huh, this feels familiar.

Reminds me of something

I was trying to do earlier.

Oh, yeah! And this...

This is my show!

Hey, Patrick. What did I miss?

Ooh, coffee!

Good afternoon, ladies, gentlemen,

and honored guests.

It is my pleasure to welcome you all

to the Seagull Scout Court of Honor.

Today, our three hatchlings will graduate

and become Seagull Scouts,

as they receive their final badge,

the legendary Golden Seagull.

Today it is pinned on your chest.

But in the Halls of Tomorrow,

it shall be worn on your heart.

The Seagull is a symbol of hard work

and dedicat--

Oh, sorry. I'll make room.

Three years of scout meetings

and you haven't earned a single badge?

I slept through all those meetings.

Does that earn me a badge?

Recite the Seagull Scout motto!

Together, we scout...

Scout!

...or we all get kicked out.

Out!

That's correct!

Mr. Star, you've got 24 hours

to earn yourself one badge,

or all three of you will be dishonorably discharged!

Cool.

"Honor."

No, Patrick, this is not cool!

If you don't get a badge, none of us can be Seagull Scouts!

And if I can't be a Seagull Scout,

I'll never truly know the ways of the Seagull.

If I can't put "Seagull Scout" on my college application,

I'll never get out of this one-seahorse town.

Pfft! How hard can it be to earn one badge?

Patrick's right!

There's gotta be some easy badges in here somewhere!

Oh, look at this one!

The Extreme Wilderness Survival badge!

Requires three scouts to spend the night in the wilderness.

And all Patrick has to do is not screw it up!

Hey, this could work.

Did you hear that, Patrick?

We're gonna get you that badge!

Alright.

I can't survive much more of this.

Behold, fellow scouts!

Behold what exactly?

The perfect campsite!

And now, per regulation 7B

of the official Seagull Scout handbook,

we must survive using only the items found in our pockets!

I brought the handbook.

It'll tell us everything we need to know

about anything we may encounter in the wilderness!

What did you bring, Squidward?

My Fish Army knife.

Twenty-seven functions,

including toothpick and emergency clarinet reed.

What survival items did you bring, Patrick?

Brilliant thinking! The multipurpose paperclip!

I can use this to help construct our shelter.

Wilderness survival!

And... done!

This ought to keep us safe from any sea bears.

Immerse yourself in the fully furnished modern shelter.

Three thousand square feet of rustic luxury.

Wow. Roomy.

Let's go see if Squidward needs our help with the campfire!

Oh.

Oh, come on!

-Hi, Squidward.

How's that fire comin'?

Oh, just great, Patrick.

Can't you feel its life-giving warmth?

Mmm. No.

Here. You try.

Not like you could do any worse.

Like this?

Actually, yeah. Exactly like that.

-Keep it up! -Go, Patrick! You're on fire!

-Oh no, Patrick, you're on fire! -Ah! Put it out!

Put it out!

Anyone else smell barbecue?

I'm hungry.

Patrick's right!

According to the guidebook,

our next step is to find food

if we want to survive the night!

Let's forage!

I'm gonna die out here.

Look! A candy bush!

I must forage!

That's not candy.

They're berries.

And they could be poisonous.

Actually, Squidward,

according to the handbook,

these berries are extra juicy and a treat for the senses!

Oh, right!

Don't mind if I do!

Mm! Delish!

Continuing on to the next page...

"Unfortunately, the delicious taste

only masks the potent toxin within."

Huh?

Whoa, you're not looking too good, Squidward.

What in the name of Neptune's kneecaps?

Why aren't you covered in sores?

Oh.

Cast iron stomach.

Well, I guess this is my chance

to use the boil lancing attachment.

Okay, that was the last one, guys.

Uh, guys?

Explain.

It's dark and spooky and scary!

Yeah, Squidward, can we please go back to camp now?

Go! Go! Go!

Come on, scouts! It will be safer in the shelter!

Hold on. What's going on here?

Who left the door open?

I didn't. It was probably Patrick.

What's that?

I very well may have!

But that's no reason to throw around accusations.

Hmm. Did you hear that?

Neither did I.

I'm going in!

Uh-oh!

Sea bear in the shelter!

-Sea bear? -Sea bear?

Get outta here, dumb sea bear!

Where? I don't see a bear!

Can't you see him?

He's floating right past my face!

Huh?

That's a water bear!

A tardigrade.

It's a microscopic animal floating in your eyeball.

Hello!

It's still a bear.

Sea bear!

Not again.

Don't worry, guys.

I speak fluent sea bear.

What did you say to him?

I have no idea.

Another late night.

What are you scouts doing back here?

We thought we could survive one night out in the wilderness.

But we're just not Seagull Scout material!

I'm sorry to hear that, boys.

I shall return

with your dishonorable discharge papers.

Sea bear! Sea bear!

Hang on, scout master!

This idiot still thinks I speak Walrus.

But his mindless courage has moved me,

so I shall not eat your scout master.

Someone should give this brave bonehead an award of some kind.

I agree!

Patrick, for saving my life,

I shall bestow upon you the most rare badge of all!

The coveted badge of the "bear whisperer"!

It is with great honor,

admiration, and respect that I declare

these three brave young men

have earned their final Seagull Scout Badge.

You may now do the Seagull Squawk!

-So proud.

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