Original subtitles

Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents! Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom!

This is my sister! She's shy.

This is my grandpa!

This is my room!

And this...

This is my show!

Most merry and good tidings!

Allow me to tell thee

a tale of bravery,

a tale of betrayal,

a tale of...

meat.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Hamdonia...

The Maw hath returneth!

Okay, okay, the Maw is back, what's the problem?

It ate my eye!

-It nibbled on my newborn!

It roasted our rumps!

Lo, be there not some brave hero

to save us?

I'll do it, milord!

I, Tofu Todd, shall slay this foul beast!

Perfect!

Well, that settles it, Tofu Todd--

My beloved daughter, Princess Hamhock,

sayeth unto me that,

"Todd is a big ol' softie

and he'll never make it alone."

So does anyone wish to go with him

on this dangerous quest?

Hmm. Dangerous quest, eh?

That's the perfect way to get rid of Tofu Todd

and have the princess all to myself.

Uh, what did you say?

Err, nothing, nothing. Don't worry about it.

I, Prince Shmeat,

shall help Tofu Todd slay this dragon!

Perfect! Let the hunt begin!

Hold, Tofu Todd!

I must test whether the crossing is safe!

This will give him the slip,

if you know what I mean.

A little here, a little there,

and voila, just like that.

Let's see him cross this, eh?

'Tis safe, Todd!

You may cross!

Many thanks, Shmeat.

Huh? I butter check this out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Oops! The rope slipped.

Well, I feel better!

Drop me, will ya?

We'll see how you like it, bub!

-Yoinketh! -Ahh!

Hello, Prince Shmeat!

Goodbye, Prince Shmeat!

We're going to save the kingdom!

We're going to save the kingdom!

Why don't you start us a nice fire, eh?

I even got some wood all nice and ready for you

right over here.

All you gotta do is light the fu--

I mean...

The twigs on the end there.

Ah-choo!

I'm going to bed.

Welp, guess it's bedtime then!

Good morrow!

Nothing like a bee-you-tiful new day

after good night's sleep!

Hah! So much for getting some shut-eye.

I barely slept a wink.

As the Forest of Cold Cuts ends,

we reach Old Gravy River!

Oh, lucky lamb chops!

We're just in time for the ferry!

-All aboard!

I gotta rid of this plant-based meathead.

But how? Hmm.

Ah!

Hold up, my friend!

This gravy boat will sink if we both go at once!

Therefore, I shall cross first!

Oh! How kind of you!

See you on the other side!

Hmp. That's what he thinks!

Here you are, my good man!

And there's more where that came from

if only one man returns

when you pick up Toejam Fraud.

Ah-wink!

More gold you say?

Oh, I'll make sure only one man returns.

Whoa! Hey!

Why are we stopping?

Because...

only one shall return to shore!

So you'll be needing this!

Yeehaw!

I'm rich!

I'm rich!

I am financially secure!

Maybe I'll just let the Maw take care of Todd.

I'd like to see him get out of that.

Ah, speak of the devil.

G-g-golly!

Before we go in there,

you'll need something to fight with.

Here.

Take this processed meat stick.

Oh, thank you!

Well, where's your meat stick?

Don't need one.

I've got a real sword!

Be brave, little meat stick!

This is the Maw's lair.

Okay, here's the plan.

You go in first and distract the beast.

Then, I shall sneak in for the final blow.

A-a-are you sure that'll work?

Oh, it will.

Trust me.

Alright!

It's Tofu Time!

Well, nice knowin' ya, pal.

The M-M-M-Maw!

Exit cave left!

Please don't eat me!

Not so fast!

Huh?!

You wanna mess with my friend?

Well, you'll have to get past me first!

-Not so tough now, are ya?

-Ahh!

Spare me! I beg of you!

Huh! Looks like I just killed two birds with one Todd!

And so, I valiantly stormed the Maw's lair

and after a grueling six-hour skirmish,

I plunged my sword into the beast's soft underbelly,

fatally killing him dead...

forever!

Ohh!

As for Tofu Todd,

well, let's just say that he died a coward.

He, um... soiled his trousers,

and kept saying he needed his Mommy.

Oh, it was really quite a disgrace.

It can't be true!

Princess Hamhock, you deserve to be married to a hero.

Therefore, I offer you this wedding onion ring.

The Maw!

It's come back to life!

What are you waiting for, Shmeat?!

Kill the Maw again!

No need to fear! He's with me!

Tofu Todd!

Tofu Todd!

Tofu Todd?

What an adventure it's been!

The Maw tried to swallow me

but I got lodged in his windpipe!

When I wiggled my way out,

I saved his life!

Now, we're best of friends!

And the story gets better!

The Maw has agreed to stop eating

the people of Hamdonia!

-Whoa!

Starting... now!

Patrick?

Snap out of it! It's time to end the show!

Oh! Um...

The moral of this story is...

Thanks for watching.

How �bout that, huh?

Heh? Heh?

Who's ready for the next guest?!

Thanks for having me on the show!

-Whoa, whoa! -But I forgot.

I have a doctor's appointment.

-See ya later, folks! - W-w-whoa!

I didn't know you were a doctor.

Now it's time for our next nextguest.

Self-Confident Steve!

-Whoa!

Okay, Steve, that's your cue!

But I keep trying to tell you--

-Ha!

I'm not Self-Confident Steve!

That's my brother!

I'm S-S-S-Scaredy Sal!

Welcome, Sal!

Why are you acting so weird?

S-s-s-stage fright...

Oh, okay!

-Put 'em up! Put 'em up! -Huh?!

-Ahh!

Ahh! Ahh!

N-n-not stage fight...

Stage fright!

-What's that?

It's when you're s-s-scared of people

looking at you.

Actually, would you mind?

What's so scary about being looked at?

When they're looking at you, they're judging.

Dissecting you with their cruel, cruel eyes.

Really?

They see all your flaws,

all your mistakes.

Especially the ones you don't know you're making!

And the worst part is...

if you disappoint them,

they'll hate you forever...

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever!

Maybe they arejudging me.

And so are the people watching...

at home!

Okay, let's get your microphone ready.

If you need me-- Oof!

I'll be in my trailer!

Okay. Wait a minute.

You don't have a trailer!

I do now!

Patrick, wait!

What's gotten into you?!

S-s-s-stage fright!

What?!

That's ridiculous!

You've spent your whole life in front of a camera.

You must've done a million shows

with zillions of viewers!

They were hate-watching me!

No way! Your audience loves you!

No!

They're just waiting for me to mess up!

What?! Ugh!

That's it, I'm coming in!

Whoa!

Ugh.

Huh?

Ow!

Stop looking at me!

Gah!

Ahh!

Thanks, doc!

Oh, hey, Patrick!

Check out my new

jelly fishing glasses.

So you don't like 'em?

It's okay, Patrick. You're safe.

No one is looking at you.

We're lucky SpongeBob found you and brought you home.

I get how serious this stage fright is now.

Really?

Yeah! No prob.

We'll rerun old episodes

till you get your confidence back.

-Patrick! You're awake! -Wait, don't look!

You're lookin' much better!

Roll that first season rerun!

Ga-ga-goo-fended!

The cow goes...

Patrick! I thought you were busy doing your little show?

I'm taking some time off.

Well, then, would you like to help me fold

some laundry?

Only if you promise not to look at me.

I have stage fright.

Okay, honey.

I'm turning away.

Hmm...

How's it going over there?

I can fold without looking.

Fold left, and once over...

Ooh!

Beautiful job, Patrick!

Stop looking at me!

Oh, dear. I hope he'll be okay.

Fly me away, you beautiful beast!

-Yah!

Whoo-hoo!

Ooh!

A rogue hair.

Sorry, fella, you gotta go.

- Hup!

Oh, hey, son! Care to join me

for some father-son mid-face grooming?

I can't, Dad!

I'll see you looking at me.

Oh, I can fix that.

See?

-No. -Exactly!

Looking doesn't have anything to do with cutting.

Ready when you are, son!

-Okay!

-Yeow!

How do I look?

Hold on. We got just one rogue hair.

Hmm...

Don't look at me!

What's with him?

I don't know.

Ow!

Hey! Watch it, ya lummox! Yeesh!

Help me, GrandPat!

There are eyes everywhere!

Yeah, yeah, you're telling me.

Train your peepers on this.

Ahh! There's a man in the moon!

And he's looking right at me!

Darn right there's a man in the moon!

Yeah, I see you!

And quit tryin' to steal my girl!

I'm not your girl!

'Nother mooncake, sweetie pie?

That's it! I'm coming up there!

Let me on that thing!

Ooh!

I think origami

has a weight limit.

-Nonsense!

Patrick, what are you doing?

Let 'er rip, Slappy!

You got it!

Are you doing this

because of your stage fright?

Uh, yeah.

If I don't have eyeballs or a head,

I can't see people looking at me,

and I won't be scared.

It's science!

Mm-hmm. Okay.

This has gone too far.

It's time to face your fears.

Thanks for using the postal service!

Don't worry, Patrick.

All these people are here to support you!

How many people?

Now I can reallylook at Patrick!

I can't do this!

Welp, good thing I got this book,

How To Cure Stage Fright For Idiots!

Hmm. Try imagining the audience in their underwear!

Can't do it.

Okay. I got another idea.

Everyone!

I'm going to need all of you

to strip down to your underwear!

For Patrick!

Yeah...

For Patrick.

-Yeah.

Why not? Sure.

Squidina! I've got a better idea!

I'll strip down to myunderwear!

Uh-oh.

I knew I forgot something today.

Sorry!

Is that better?

Patrick! That is a hundred times worse!

Sorry I'm late.

Self-Confident Steve's the name.

Ready to do this thing?

Thank you, Squidina! I'm cured!

And no more eyeballs!

Yeah, no more eyeballs watching our show.

Well, except for the viewers watching on TV at home.

Whoa!

Huh? Where?

Stop it!

No! Stop looking at me!

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0